Show Transcript

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Kevin Lowe: Whether this is your first time ever pressing play on this podcast,

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Kevin Lowe: which if it is, well, welcome.

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Kevin Lowe: Or if you've been here since the beginning, I hope you find one thing to be true.

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Kevin Lowe: Is that this is a podcast that you can come to expecting to leave with a smile.

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Kevin Lowe: Leave having gained a new maybe view on life. Seeing life from an angle you've

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Kevin Lowe: never viewed it from before.

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Kevin Lowe: Sometimes I do that through inspiring stories, motivating tales,

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Kevin Lowe: or sometimes it's through those heart-centered conversations about life,

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Kevin Lowe: the stuff that we can all connect with.

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Kevin Lowe: Today, my friend, is one of those stories.

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Kevin Lowe: It's an interview with a father talking about his son.

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Kevin Lowe: Today's guest is Christopher Cochran, but the story is about his son, Christian Cochran.

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Kevin Lowe: Today is going to be a lesson in how to live, but also how to die,

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Kevin Lowe: all taught to us by a young man who left this world too soon.

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Kevin Lowe: And yet, in some way, it was like it was all planned out this way because.

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Kevin Lowe: Well, he packed a lot into the years that he was here on Earth.

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Kevin Lowe: And the legacy he leaves behind is far lasting.

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Kevin Lowe: It made an impact on me the moment that I heard about this story.

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Kevin Lowe: When I sat down and I had Christopher Cochran on the podcast and we recorded

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Kevin Lowe: today's episode, it totally changed my life.

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Kevin Lowe: And my friend, I can only hope and pray that it's going to do the same for you.

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Kevin Lowe: Because by the end of today's episode, I'm going to have you waking up tomorrow

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Kevin Lowe: morning, asking yourself a very important, yet so simple of a question.

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Kevin Lowe: What's good about today?

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Kevin Lowe: With that, my friend, I welcome you to an episode that I hope is going to completely

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Kevin Lowe: change your life from this day forward.

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Kevin Lowe: I welcome you to episode 361. Hey, I'm your host, Kevin Lowe,

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Kevin Lowe: and you are listening to Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

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Kevin Lowe: I am here in the studio today with a guy I have been so excited to get to talk to again.

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Kevin Lowe: Chris, welcome to the podcast, man.

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Christopher Cochran: Hey, thank you so much, Kevin. I'm so excited to be here with you.

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Christopher Cochran: And I knew we were getting together again.

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Christopher Cochran: The other time was, of course, off air, but just excited to talk to you.

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Christopher Cochran: You always bring such a light to so many conversations. So thank you again.

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Kevin Lowe: Oh, man, I appreciate that very much. Well, well, listen, so obviously the story

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Kevin Lowe: of your son, Christian, is going to be a big part of our conversation today.

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Kevin Lowe: But before even just diving into his story specifically, would you mind just

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Kevin Lowe: kind of giving me an overview of your family before diagnoses,

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Kevin Lowe: before any of that drama?

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Kevin Lowe: What was just family like for you?

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Christopher Cochran: Yeah, I grew up in central Pennsylvania in a small town called Camp Hill, Pennsylvania.

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Christopher Cochran: I have four brothers. I had two loving parents.

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Christopher Cochran: My parents were good people. My mother was a church-going woman,

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Christopher Cochran: so I spent my Sundays going to church.

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Christopher Cochran: Even when I didn't want to, my mother would make sure I was there.

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Christopher Cochran: I grew up very competitively in a competitive environment with brothers.

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Christopher Cochran: I was a wrestler in high school.

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Christopher Cochran: I wrestled in college at the University of Tennessee.

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Christopher Cochran: And so I was raised, you know, in this atmosphere. My father was a Navy guy.

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Christopher Cochran: He was a frogman, which predates the seal.

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Christopher Cochran: So you can imagine growing up in this atmosphere of very loving,

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Christopher Cochran: very tough, and really driving me to be a better person.

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Christopher Cochran: And so I made my way through high school, like lots of people.

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Christopher Cochran: And I was very blessed that this is now 40 years ago. So I was invited to a

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Christopher Cochran: party by a good friend of mine. His name's Brian.

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Christopher Cochran: It was an upperclassman party. I got to go to the party. As I entered the party,

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Christopher Cochran: I was going up a flight of stairs.

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Christopher Cochran: We passed these two girls coming down the stairs. It's the second girl that I made eye contact with.

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Christopher Cochran: And we had a sparkle, you know, sort of like being that this was the 80s,

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Christopher Cochran: like a slowdown version of a movie where you have this connection with someone.

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Christopher Cochran: We didn't talk at all. We didn't say anything. I knew she was an upperclassman.

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Christopher Cochran: Two grades ahead of me, but the next day, I never talked to her that night,

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Christopher Cochran: but the next day she showed up at my house

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Christopher Cochran: I wasn't there. She left a note on a paper plate with my little brother.

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Christopher Cochran: And he gave me that note and said, this girl came by, she was driving a really

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Christopher Cochran: beautiful car, Mercedes, and he was more enamored by that.

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Christopher Cochran: But the name stood out. Her name was Danielle.

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Christopher Cochran: And I said, Danielle, why would she be reaching out to me?

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Christopher Cochran: And so I decided to make this phone call. And I'm glad I did.

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Christopher Cochran: We decided to go on a date. She asked me out to the movies. We went to the movies

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Christopher Cochran: and we had a beautiful relationship, continue to have that. I'm married to her.

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Christopher Cochran: We've been married now, what, 30 years? We dated for 10.

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Christopher Cochran: And so we started the American dream.

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Christopher Cochran: We dreamed of having children. And that led us to the point where we had three beautiful children.

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Christopher Cochran: And so it continues to this day that we are together and sharing life's journeys of ups and downs.

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Christopher Cochran: And certainly, as we'll talk about, the journey of losing our firstborn child,

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Christopher Cochran: Christian, but I came from a good family and I'm very blessed to have had that along the way.

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Kevin Lowe: Yeah, I love it so much. Talk to me a little bit about your three kids.

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Kevin Lowe: I'd love to hear a little bit about each one of them.

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Christopher Cochran: So Christian is our oldest. He is 26. My daughter is 25.

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Christopher Cochran: She's located in Norfolk, Virginia. She is the wife of a naval officer who actually

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Christopher Cochran: serves overseas on the USS Cole right now in the Middle East.

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Christopher Cochran: So he's definitely involved in things that are going on over there.

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Christopher Cochran: He's on deployment. My younger son, Nicholas, is currently enrolled as a junior

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Christopher Cochran: at the University of Indiana, Pennsylvania.

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Christopher Cochran: That's where all my kids went to school. And so all of them are wonderful kids, all different.

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Christopher Cochran: They always say, when you have these kids, you think they're going to be somewhat

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Christopher Cochran: similar, but they couldn't be more different from one another and how they go about things.

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Christopher Cochran: So it does challenge you as a parent as you navigate this life,

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Christopher Cochran: but they're all wonderful children. And I love seeing them every moment I get.

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Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. I just, I wanted to ask that question just because as we continue

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Kevin Lowe: our conversation today, I just want to be sure that I recognize the fact that

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Kevin Lowe: what happens as we talk about the story about your son, Christian,

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Kevin Lowe: I'm sure it's something that has impacted your entire family,

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Kevin Lowe: each one individually, as well as a whole.

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Kevin Lowe: And so as we go today, I just want everyone to understand that we're not just

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Kevin Lowe: talking about you and your son, we're talking about a family.

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Christopher Cochran: Yeah, absolutely. All of us have been affected by this.

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Christopher Cochran: We still continue to this day, and it's only been three years,

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Christopher Cochran: but we navigate, but we're close. You know, that's the thing.

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Christopher Cochran: You know, we support one another, and that's critical when you go through things like this.

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Christopher Cochran: And we all have our ways of navigating grief and how we go about it.

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Christopher Cochran: It's not an easy task by any means, but we're not going to be able to do it.

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Christopher Cochran: But we love one another and we've always been close.

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Christopher Cochran: So it's just an extenuation of things.

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Christopher Cochran: But much like life, you just you have these difficult moments as everyone's going to have.

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Christopher Cochran: Right. It's it's inevitable in this life that everyone things are going to turn on a dime.

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Christopher Cochran: And the question is, how do you react to it? How do you approach life going forward after that?

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Christopher Cochran: Do you give up? Do you not give up? How do you interact with others?

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Christopher Cochran: And so, yeah, I have a beautiful family that has been hit by this tremendously,

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Christopher Cochran: and we all do it in different ways, but we're there to support each other.

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Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. Well, I guess if you wouldn't mind, would you kind of start

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Kevin Lowe: diving into the story about your son, Christian?

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Kevin Lowe: Obviously, the whole reason that we're here is because of him and the life he

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Kevin Lowe: lived and the legacy he's left. And so I would love for you to kind of take

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Kevin Lowe: it from where you think the best part is, is to start to share his story.

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Christopher Cochran: Well, Christian, yeah, I love talking about Christian. I love talking about

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Christopher Cochran: my kids. So all of them, by the way.

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Christopher Cochran: But Christian in particular, obviously first born, you know,

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Christopher Cochran: after we got married and for a couple of years enjoyed the blissful life of

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Christopher Cochran: marriage, we decided to have a child.

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Christopher Cochran: We knew right from the get-go we were going to name him Christian because we

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Christopher Cochran: knew he was destined for extraordinary things and felt the name was fitting for him.

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Christopher Cochran: Ever since he was born, he was extraordinarily different from everyone else.

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Christopher Cochran: He had this innate ability to show empathy for others.

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Christopher Cochran: Even as a young child, it was quite extraordinary. We would always refer to him as Mr. Comfort.

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Christopher Cochran: And he could comfort my wife when she was going through her birth with the other

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Christopher Cochran: children when they were born, just to let her know that he loved her and he was proud of her.

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Christopher Cochran: And it's something unusual you see in a child.

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Christopher Cochran: So even as Christian was getting older, and I remember when he was eight years

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Christopher Cochran: old, the first day at the bus stop, you know, all kids are clamoring to get

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Christopher Cochran: on that bus, but not Christian.

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Christopher Cochran: He wanted all his friends to get on first. They all would want to be next to each other.

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Christopher Cochran: And he would then let the special needs kids go on next. And he would always be the last one.

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Christopher Cochran: And he did that because it brought him joy to see others find joy.

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Christopher Cochran: Right. And so much of this world we're filled with what's good for me.

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Christopher Cochran: What can I get out of this? And that's not how he operated. even as a young boy.

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Christopher Cochran: And so that carried on. Even as a teenager, we witnessed things and how he was

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Christopher Cochran: giving all of himself to others, whether it was through a smile, laughter.

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Christopher Cochran: He was extremely funny. He just brought he just when he walked into a room,

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Christopher Cochran: he lit it up and you wanted to spend time with him because you just were drawn in to his presence.

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Christopher Cochran: And so ultimately, you know, Christian went to college.

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Christopher Cochran: He went to Indiana University of Pennsylvania, graduated from the honors college

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Christopher Cochran: there. He came back in 2020 at the end of 2020.

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Christopher Cochran: And I remember this was during COVID and he had some back pain and we treated it as such.

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Christopher Cochran: We saw doctors. They said it was nothing because he was incredibly healthy kid.

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Christopher Cochran: And ultimately the pain had gotten so great. We eventually went and got tests, had to have CT scans.

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Christopher Cochran: We were brought into a room. This was during COVID. It was just myself and Christian.

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Christopher Cochran: And the doctors all walked in, their faces were covered. You could only see their eyes.

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Christopher Cochran: But I knew as soon as they walked in the door, they were about to deliver the

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Christopher Cochran: news, the worst news possible for Christian and ultimately what we were all

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Christopher Cochran: going to have to deal with as a family.

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Christopher Cochran: And they told him that he had a cancer and ultimately it was a terminal cancer.

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Christopher Cochran: He had a grapefruit sized tumor on his liver.

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Christopher Cochran: And I'll never forget the first of many acts of superpower. Christian looked

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Christopher Cochran: at me, my knees were buckling. He put his hand on my and he said,

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Christopher Cochran: Don't worry, everything's going to be okay. And he calmly asked the doctors

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Christopher Cochran: how much time he had to live.

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Christopher Cochran: They didn't want to answer that question. And of course, I had to go home and

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Christopher Cochran: we had to have this discussion with his mom. And when we told Christian how

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Christopher Cochran: sorry we were, how difficult this was, he said, it's okay, mom and dad.

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Christopher Cochran: I wouldn't want this on anyone. This is my burden and it's okay.

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Christopher Cochran: He was very accepting of it and not a moment from the day he was diagnosed,

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Christopher Cochran: which was August 26th of 2020 to the moment that he took his last breath with

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Christopher Cochran: us around him here at home on September 1st of 2021,

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Christopher Cochran: almost a little over a year, did he ever complain once?

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Christopher Cochran: He never said, why me? Why did this happen to me?

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Christopher Cochran: Quite the contrary. He would remind us every day, he would say,

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Christopher Cochran: what's good about today? With a question.

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Christopher Cochran: And when we were down, he would say, what's good about today.

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Christopher Cochran: And it would help us remind us that there is beauty. There is wonder.

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Christopher Cochran: There's so many special things that are in this day that we have to focus on, not the negative.

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Christopher Cochran: And there are plenty of bad days, but we try to focus on the good because it's

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Christopher Cochran: a choice, right? It's a choice we can all make.

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Christopher Cochran: And Christian left that legacy with us. And so that's what inspired myself,

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Christopher Cochran: of course, to write the book, What's Good About Today, A Purpose Driven Life,

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Christopher Cochran: to document this love story as a family. So that's Christian.

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Kevin Lowe: Wow. Remind me again how old he was when you guys received this diagnosis.

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Christopher Cochran: So Christian was diagnosed at 22 years of age.

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Christopher Cochran: Like I said, just graduating college, ready to take off. He was I glowed on

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Christopher Cochran: him. And I always hear that tap on my shoulder.

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Christopher Cochran: Dad, don't talk too much about me because he was so humble, you know,

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Christopher Cochran: but you're a dad. This is what you do.

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Christopher Cochran: You talk about your kids. You love your kids. But he was so talented.

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Christopher Cochran: I mean, the most important part is that he was so loving and caring and loved

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Christopher Cochran: us as parents and loved his family. But he was a talented actor on stage.

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Christopher Cochran: He was always the lead in every musical, every play. He had already been in

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Christopher Cochran: a major motion picture of the Batman movie.

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Christopher Cochran: And actually, he was a paid actor in that movie. And so he was ready to take off.

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Christopher Cochran: He was doing so many wonderful things with his life and making an impact.

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Christopher Cochran: But yeah, hit it 22, passed away. actually at the age of 23 on his sister's

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Christopher Cochran: birthday, Kate, September 1st, which I'm not surprised about.

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Christopher Cochran: They were extremely close. They were 15 months apart.

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Christopher Cochran: So he died on that day.

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Kevin Lowe: Wow. How do you as a parent even begin that year to be told that your son has a year to live,

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Kevin Lowe: especially for the fact that we're not supposed to know when we're going to die?

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Kevin Lowe: And yet you guys found that out.

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Kevin Lowe: How do you even how do you even keep living for that year?

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Christopher Cochran: Well, I think our motivation was to try to save Christian. Right.

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Christopher Cochran: There was a less than one percent chance he could even make it to five years.

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Christopher Cochran: So I knew the odds were stacked against us. I never told my wife and my kids the statistics. Right.

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Christopher Cochran: I knew what they were. I had private conversations with doctors that this was

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Christopher Cochran: not going to be an easy journey.

00:14:35.698 --> 00:14:39.438

Christopher Cochran: But we threw everything we could to save Christian.

00:14:39.598 --> 00:14:43.558

Christopher Cochran: And Christian entrusted his family, trusted my wife and I, his aunt and his

00:14:43.558 --> 00:14:46.338

Christopher Cochran: uncle, to, we called it the CC Advisory Group,

00:14:46.718 --> 00:14:54.578

Christopher Cochran: to focus on a 24-7 operation where we researched every possible avenue to save

00:14:54.578 --> 00:14:57.818

Christopher Cochran: his life, whether it was experimental drugs.

00:14:58.398 --> 00:15:02.798

Christopher Cochran: Certainly, immediately, we got him on the standard of care in this world.

00:15:03.098 --> 00:15:05.058

Christopher Cochran: The standard of care in cancer is chemotherapy.

00:15:05.818 --> 00:15:10.518

Christopher Cochran: And you go right to that. Literally, I think we found out on a Saturday or Friday.

00:15:10.758 --> 00:15:16.158

Christopher Cochran: By Monday, he was on it. And he was being hit with the most powerful chemotherapy

00:15:16.158 --> 00:15:17.558

Christopher Cochran: drugs that were out there.

00:15:18.178 --> 00:15:20.838

Christopher Cochran: And we were just trying to knock this thing down.

00:15:22.518 --> 00:15:27.738

Christopher Cochran: And it's such a strong cancer. He had what's called cholangiocarcinoma.

00:15:27.818 --> 00:15:31.718

Christopher Cochran: And it's, by definition, it's called bio-duck cancer.

00:15:31.878 --> 00:15:35.538

Christopher Cochran: The bio-duck is connected to the liver, but ultimately it's what filters out

00:15:35.538 --> 00:15:37.518

Christopher Cochran: all the badness in our body.

00:15:37.598 --> 00:15:41.798

Christopher Cochran: But you can imagine it already at stage four, grapefruit size on his liver,

00:15:42.338 --> 00:15:45.378

Christopher Cochran: had already had started to spread to his lymph nodes.

00:15:45.958 --> 00:15:52.498

Christopher Cochran: He had ultimately kept it at bay for months, but we knew that this was,

00:15:52.658 --> 00:15:54.518

Christopher Cochran: the chemo was not gonna be the answer.

00:15:54.618 --> 00:16:00.798

Christopher Cochran: So we were always researching DNA, RNA factors, we went to every DNA facilities

00:16:00.798 --> 00:16:05.938

Christopher Cochran: to the molecular level to break down his DNAs and find out if there were any

00:16:05.938 --> 00:16:09.538

Christopher Cochran: drugs on the market that could sustain his life.

00:16:09.738 --> 00:16:12.798

Christopher Cochran: And we did, here's the thing about this cancer.

00:16:13.878 --> 00:16:16.358

Christopher Cochran: It's only really seen mostly in older people,

00:16:17.163 --> 00:16:23.823

Christopher Cochran: and in Southeast Asia. Not a kid in Northwest Pennsylvania, right?

00:16:23.963 --> 00:16:28.123

Christopher Cochran: It's just not something you see. So it was extremely unusual.

00:16:29.003 --> 00:16:34.323

Christopher Cochran: And we just knew that we were up against some major odds. He did too.

00:16:34.583 --> 00:16:39.743

Christopher Cochran: I think he knew even when he was diagnosed what was going on.

00:16:39.883 --> 00:16:44.103

Christopher Cochran: He had already accepted this, I think, a long time ago, even before he had cancer.

00:16:44.143 --> 00:16:46.263

Christopher Cochran: I think he lived such a big life.

00:16:46.503 --> 00:16:51.603

Christopher Cochran: So I think he understood that. So I think for us, our focus to answer your question

00:16:51.603 --> 00:16:52.763

Christopher Cochran: is we focused on Christian.

00:16:53.023 --> 00:16:56.523

Christopher Cochran: That's what kept us going. We had hope. You always have hope, right?

00:16:56.683 --> 00:16:59.823

Christopher Cochran: You always feel like you're going to be that outlier. But Christian knew,

00:16:59.963 --> 00:17:04.163

Christopher Cochran: and I'd had private conversations with him. He knew his time was coming to an end.

00:17:04.383 --> 00:17:08.703

Christopher Cochran: And so, but that's tough. It's tough to keep in as a parent and stuff to,

00:17:08.843 --> 00:17:10.483

Christopher Cochran: but to remain hopeful, right?

00:17:10.663 --> 00:17:13.243

Christopher Cochran: And tell him like, Like, hey, we're going to keep moving forward.

00:17:13.483 --> 00:17:21.023

Kevin Lowe: At what point did you come to the realization that he wasn't going to get better?

00:17:21.483 --> 00:17:26.783

Christopher Cochran: Well, I think probably I'm going to say three months prior to his passing.

00:17:27.003 --> 00:17:29.583

Christopher Cochran: I think that nothing was working.

00:17:29.843 --> 00:17:32.323

Christopher Cochran: The cancer had spread to his bones recently.

00:17:32.728 --> 00:17:37.048

Christopher Cochran: We knew, I knew of extremely aggressive cancer. But I think,

00:17:37.228 --> 00:17:40.428

Christopher Cochran: you know, look, I still held out hope even three months in it.

00:17:40.588 --> 00:17:45.108

Christopher Cochran: I think about a month and a half prior was when you could really see Christian's

00:17:45.108 --> 00:17:47.428

Christopher Cochran: cancer take over his body.

00:17:47.808 --> 00:17:52.848

Christopher Cochran: And there's nothing worse. My son, and people can see pictures of him.

00:17:52.948 --> 00:17:54.208

Christopher Cochran: He's absolutely gorgeous kid.

00:17:54.368 --> 00:18:00.348

Christopher Cochran: He's a beautiful kid and curly brown hair and brown eyes and just the best smile ever.

00:18:00.348 --> 00:18:04.628

Christopher Cochran: But when you see that dwindle away what cancer does to someone,

00:18:04.788 --> 00:18:10.448

Christopher Cochran: it just takes their body and it debilitates them down. He couldn't walk.

00:18:11.228 --> 00:18:15.668

Christopher Cochran: His bones were being affected. Everything was being invaded by the cancer.

00:18:15.828 --> 00:18:22.468

Christopher Cochran: And so you see a beautiful child just sort of fade away in terms of his body,

00:18:22.468 --> 00:18:25.168

Christopher Cochran: not his mind. He still had his mind.

00:18:25.948 --> 00:18:29.028

Christopher Cochran: So those are kind of the different points. It's different moments.

00:18:29.028 --> 00:18:34.228

Christopher Cochran: You know, I think you go through that process of, hey, we had good results and

00:18:34.228 --> 00:18:38.108

Christopher Cochran: you hang on to that and then you don't. But yeah.

00:18:38.788 --> 00:18:42.388

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. During this time, this year

00:18:42.388 --> 00:18:48.988

Kevin Lowe: that you guys had in the midst of cancer treatment, the sadness of it all.

00:18:49.148 --> 00:18:54.528

Kevin Lowe: Talk to me about some of the times that you look back on and that they make you smile.

00:18:55.328 --> 00:19:00.088

Kevin Lowe: That something maybe that Christian did that he said and experienced?

00:19:00.588 --> 00:19:04.508

Kevin Lowe: Because I know there has to be moments that you smile.

00:19:05.048 --> 00:19:08.488

Christopher Cochran: Oh, yeah. Wow, there's so many. I mean, that's the thing about Christian is

00:19:08.488 --> 00:19:12.668

Christopher Cochran: he never, like I said, never complained, but he was always making jokes and

00:19:12.668 --> 00:19:16.168

Christopher Cochran: having fun, making us laugh, making others laugh.

00:19:16.168 --> 00:19:19.908

Christopher Cochran: He always wanted to be all of himself when someone would come visit Christian.

00:19:20.108 --> 00:19:21.328

Christopher Cochran: Remember, this is during COVID, right?

00:19:21.970 --> 00:19:26.370

Christopher Cochran: So when someone would come to see him, it was tough for Christian because he's

00:19:26.370 --> 00:19:30.870

Christopher Cochran: the entertainer and he wants he doesn't want you to feel sad for him.

00:19:30.950 --> 00:19:32.670

Christopher Cochran: He never wanted to be that kid with cancer.

00:19:32.810 --> 00:19:35.190

Christopher Cochran: He used to tell me like, Dad, I don't want to be known for that.

00:19:35.470 --> 00:19:39.410

Christopher Cochran: You know, I don't want to be known for that. I want to be known for positivity

00:19:39.410 --> 00:19:43.310

Christopher Cochran: and the good things. And so he would always do things to make us laugh.

00:19:43.450 --> 00:19:48.790

Christopher Cochran: He loved video games. So I remember setting him up in near our living room so

00:19:48.790 --> 00:19:50.130

Christopher Cochran: I could have visual of him.

00:19:50.710 --> 00:19:55.390

Christopher Cochran: So I never lost touch with Christian. I never wanted to miss a reaction.

00:19:55.550 --> 00:19:58.370

Christopher Cochran: His laughter with his friends talking on TeamSpeak or something.

00:19:58.590 --> 00:20:00.490

Christopher Cochran: He had this infectious laugh.

00:20:00.730 --> 00:20:04.370

Christopher Cochran: But I will tell you a story. Christian, we went on a walk together and we would

00:20:04.370 --> 00:20:08.610

Christopher Cochran: go on these different walks when he could walk just to keep his health up.

00:20:08.770 --> 00:20:12.770

Christopher Cochran: And I remember going on this walk and Christian said to me, I said,

00:20:12.830 --> 00:20:16.410

Christopher Cochran: I said to Christian, I said, Christian, do you have any regrets in life?

00:20:16.670 --> 00:20:19.370

Christopher Cochran: Do you have anything that you wish you had done differently?

00:20:20.870 --> 00:20:25.530

Christopher Cochran: And I remember Christian looking at me seriously and saying, yeah, I have a regret.

00:20:25.650 --> 00:20:28.430

Christopher Cochran: And I hung on every moment of that because I was like, to me,

00:20:28.510 --> 00:20:31.310

Christopher Cochran: Christian was such a philosopher of life and understood it so well.

00:20:31.490 --> 00:20:36.290

Christopher Cochran: He said, I said, well, what is it? He said, I wish I hadn't done so much homework.

00:20:36.810 --> 00:20:41.850

Christopher Cochran: And I started laughing. I said, Christian, I go, come on, tell me what are you

00:20:41.850 --> 00:20:44.190

Christopher Cochran: regretting? Is there anything? He says, no, dad.

00:20:44.450 --> 00:20:47.170

Christopher Cochran: I just wish I hadn't done so much homework. Look where I'm at.

00:20:47.230 --> 00:20:49.150

Christopher Cochran: I did too much homework during this time.

00:20:49.370 --> 00:20:52.910

Christopher Cochran: And it made me chuckle. It was a joke. And it was the way he brought levity

00:20:52.910 --> 00:20:56.310

Christopher Cochran: to a situation. He always had a way of bringing things back into order.

00:20:56.590 --> 00:21:03.010

Christopher Cochran: And so it's just his normal, he had such a great comedic timing and how to approach things.

00:21:03.170 --> 00:21:09.190

Christopher Cochran: And so that I remember very distinctly and how he brought lots of laughs to

00:21:09.190 --> 00:21:11.350

Christopher Cochran: everyone who was around him, especially his family.

00:21:11.630 --> 00:21:16.930

Kevin Lowe: You know, I listened to this and I think Christian, he was...

00:21:17.955 --> 00:21:25.315

Kevin Lowe: The let's say the patient the person who's sick and yet he's also the one who

00:21:25.315 --> 00:21:31.535

Kevin Lowe: wants to be sure that everybody around him is okay he doesn't want you guys

00:21:31.535 --> 00:21:33.395

Kevin Lowe: to be sad that's powerful.

00:21:33.395 --> 00:21:40.335

Christopher Cochran: Yeah yeah he always he always did that even up to the uh again a they're tough

00:21:40.335 --> 00:21:45.395

Christopher Cochran: moments the last three weeks of his life when he could speak he i remember him

00:21:45.395 --> 00:21:50.195

Christopher Cochran: saying dad he was so knowledge he was so mature and he, and he said, dad,

00:21:50.415 --> 00:21:54.535

Christopher Cochran: you've got two beautiful children to take care of and you're going to,

00:21:54.655 --> 00:21:57.395

Christopher Cochran: they're going to need you more than ever during this time.

00:21:57.555 --> 00:22:02.575

Christopher Cochran: And so he, yeah, he, he was, and here he is thinking about his brother and sister,

00:22:03.335 --> 00:22:04.995

Christopher Cochran: thinking about me and his mom.

00:22:05.155 --> 00:22:09.215

Christopher Cochran: And so he didn't think in terms of, you know, what's next for,

00:22:09.375 --> 00:22:10.635

Christopher Cochran: you know, he knew where he was going.

00:22:10.775 --> 00:22:13.915

Christopher Cochran: He knew what was next. And he, and we had those conversations where he knew

00:22:13.915 --> 00:22:16.735

Christopher Cochran: he's going after this. He was very confident in that.

00:22:17.115 --> 00:22:21.635

Christopher Cochran: To him, honestly, death was just another journey.

00:22:21.835 --> 00:22:29.335

Christopher Cochran: It wasn't a problem for him. He took it as an adventure, the biggest adventure of his life.

00:22:29.495 --> 00:22:34.095

Christopher Cochran: He loved adventures. He had traveled the world, studied abroad, been to India.

00:22:34.435 --> 00:22:39.735

Christopher Cochran: So this was just another journey for him. But he did care about everybody and

00:22:39.735 --> 00:22:42.155

Christopher Cochran: how they felt. That was the biggest impact for him.

00:22:42.155 --> 00:22:46.675

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. So, so amazing.

00:22:47.115 --> 00:22:52.015

Kevin Lowe: And what a just an amazing son that you raised.

00:22:52.455 --> 00:22:57.415

Kevin Lowe: What you just said, it really just kind of segues into the next kind of question

00:22:57.415 --> 00:23:03.675

Kevin Lowe: I wanted to ask you to talk about was, how do you guys do some outreach?

00:23:03.695 --> 00:23:08.475

Kevin Lowe: I know you guys did something with your church and you set up an organization.

00:23:08.915 --> 00:23:11.655

Kevin Lowe: Talk to me about that whole aspect.

00:23:12.500 --> 00:23:15.940

Christopher Cochran: Yeah, we set up what's called the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund.

00:23:16.100 --> 00:23:20.220

Christopher Cochran: It's through the Pittsburgh Foundation. I should actually say we didn't set

00:23:20.220 --> 00:23:23.840

Christopher Cochran: this up. My son Christian set it up, if you can believe that.

00:23:24.640 --> 00:23:30.040

Christopher Cochran: Prior to his death, he wanted us to set up a foundation that stuck to his core

00:23:30.040 --> 00:23:36.520

Christopher Cochran: values, his mission, which was to care for others, to give to others that are less fortunate.

00:23:36.780 --> 00:23:39.040

Christopher Cochran: He loved animals. He loved nature.

00:23:40.060 --> 00:23:45.540

Christopher Cochran: So he is really the person who set the foundation up. He guided me in where

00:23:45.540 --> 00:23:47.980

Christopher Cochran: I needed to go, knowing this was the ultimate outcome.

00:23:48.380 --> 00:23:51.520

Christopher Cochran: And he also wanted us to make sure we gave back to a church.

00:23:51.740 --> 00:23:52.820

Christopher Cochran: This is a church called St.

00:23:53.280 --> 00:23:58.000

Christopher Cochran: Stanislav's. It's the oldest Polish church in Pittsburgh. It's located in downtown Pittsburgh.

00:23:58.300 --> 00:24:01.740

Christopher Cochran: It's located in the most urban and awesome area of Pittsburgh.

00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:04.840

Christopher Cochran: It's the hottest area in Pittsburgh, big crowds.

00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:08.200

Christopher Cochran: And right next to the church on the main street and 21st Street.

00:24:08.620 --> 00:24:15.300

Christopher Cochran: You cannot miss this. There are six boulders that are each a ton in weight that

00:24:15.300 --> 00:24:19.600

Christopher Cochran: have holes drilled through them with water coming out through the top and pouring

00:24:19.600 --> 00:24:22.880

Christopher Cochran: over these rocks with a beautiful angel in the middle and a beautiful plaque

00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:25.240

Christopher Cochran: called the What's Good About Today fountain.

00:24:25.420 --> 00:24:27.780

Christopher Cochran: It has a picture of Christian. It talks about Christian's legacy.

00:24:28.060 --> 00:24:31.920

Christopher Cochran: And on those things, he said, be kind to everyone because you never know what

00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:33.400

Christopher Cochran: someone is going through.

00:24:34.320 --> 00:24:37.060

Christopher Cochran: And so that's written there it's in

00:24:37.060 --> 00:24:40.380

Christopher Cochran: bronze it's it's beautiful picture of him but it's

00:24:40.380 --> 00:24:44.860

Christopher Cochran: seen by thousands and thousands and thousands of people across this country

00:24:44.860 --> 00:24:47.740

Christopher Cochran: and the world we've heard from people from all over the world who have seen

00:24:47.740 --> 00:24:51.780

Christopher Cochran: this and come and it's become a bit of a destination where people come to pittsburgh

00:24:51.780 --> 00:24:56.580

Christopher Cochran: they see this it's a beautiful landscape and it's a it's a testament to what

00:24:56.580 --> 00:25:00.340

Christopher Cochran: christian wanted us to get back to the church to the city of Pittsburgh.

00:25:01.400 --> 00:25:05.120

Christopher Cochran: And through the foundation, through the church, the diocese did it only six

00:25:05.120 --> 00:25:06.600

Christopher Cochran: months after Christian's passing.

00:25:06.900 --> 00:25:13.060

Christopher Cochran: So you can imagine for you to get the diocese blessing to take up land that

00:25:13.060 --> 00:25:17.840

Christopher Cochran: they own to put it on the most prominent area of Pittsburgh so everyone can

00:25:17.840 --> 00:25:20.080

Christopher Cochran: visually see this, that was important.

00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:22.720

Christopher Cochran: And the thing is important to know is Christian was a Christian,

00:25:22.920 --> 00:25:25.140

Christopher Cochran: obviously, but he was very spiritual.

00:25:25.400 --> 00:25:30.120

Christopher Cochran: He loved all faiths. He loved all people. He's the most inclusive individual you ever met.

00:25:30.460 --> 00:25:34.940

Christopher Cochran: And so that's what this talks about. It talks about Christian loving all people

00:25:34.940 --> 00:25:37.920

Christopher Cochran: and to bringing them into positivity.

00:25:38.360 --> 00:25:42.640

Christopher Cochran: And we're real proud of that, proud what Christian put together and what he wanted to do.

00:25:42.800 --> 00:25:46.880

Christopher Cochran: We just follow in his mantra and he's always the guiding light there.

00:25:47.860 --> 00:25:55.620

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. In terms of that and following in his mantra, how has it been for you to,

00:25:56.108 --> 00:26:03.508

Kevin Lowe: as a parent, after his passing, to not just want to close up and to not just

00:26:03.508 --> 00:26:07.188

Kevin Lowe: lock away the world and kind of forget about everything else.

00:26:07.588 --> 00:26:12.548

Kevin Lowe: And instead to be very outgoing with this.

00:26:12.728 --> 00:26:17.688

Kevin Lowe: I mean, obviously there's times, many times by yourself, the quiet family,

00:26:17.908 --> 00:26:22.008

Kevin Lowe: but the fact that you've kept going. You've written this book.

00:26:22.288 --> 00:26:26.228

Kevin Lowe: You guys pursued this with this amazing fountain.

00:26:26.688 --> 00:26:28.368

Kevin Lowe: How do you feel like you did that?

00:26:28.888 --> 00:26:32.588

Christopher Cochran: I wouldn't be honest or candid if I didn't tell you that the first year and

00:26:32.588 --> 00:26:37.128

Christopher Cochran: a half, I wasn't a mess, that I wasn't the best that I could be.

00:26:37.288 --> 00:26:40.788

Christopher Cochran: I don't think any of us were. We were in a daze. You're numb.

00:26:41.808 --> 00:26:46.188

Christopher Cochran: Christian's clothes are here in this house, right? His room has not changed

00:26:46.188 --> 00:26:48.508

Christopher Cochran: since he came home from college. His clothes are there.

00:26:48.708 --> 00:26:50.808

Christopher Cochran: His shoes are outside in the garage.

00:26:51.248 --> 00:26:56.368

Christopher Cochran: You know, there's nothing that's changed. On our street, people have green lights in there.

00:26:56.548 --> 00:27:00.768

Christopher Cochran: All the way down the street, there are lanterns that people still have that

00:27:00.768 --> 00:27:06.148

Christopher Cochran: Christian's favorite color was green that you see every night illuminate the streets.

00:27:06.848 --> 00:27:11.028

Christopher Cochran: So I'm always reminded of that. We are, as a family, reminded of that.

00:27:11.228 --> 00:27:14.968

Christopher Cochran: But for the first year to year and a half, I was not a healthy individual.

00:27:15.568 --> 00:27:19.828

Christopher Cochran: And not that I'm a drinker, but I certainly turn to anything that would take

00:27:19.828 --> 00:27:22.208

Christopher Cochran: me away that would allow me to fall asleep.

00:27:22.668 --> 00:27:25.488

Christopher Cochran: But I always remind myself of a quote.

00:27:25.628 --> 00:27:30.808

Christopher Cochran: Bruce Lee used to say a quote and it was powerful for me. It's a simple quote.

00:27:31.328 --> 00:27:37.808

Christopher Cochran: Don't pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.

00:27:38.188 --> 00:27:44.788

Christopher Cochran: And I used to say that to myself all the time because life is not easy. Life, it's tough.

00:27:45.528 --> 00:27:50.168

Christopher Cochran: But I think knowing what I know of Christian you said it earlier which he wants

00:27:50.168 --> 00:27:55.008

Christopher Cochran: us to be happy he wants us to be joyful I think happiness sometimes is an elusive

00:27:55.008 --> 00:27:56.668

Christopher Cochran: state for anybody right I

00:27:57.575 --> 00:28:00.915

Christopher Cochran: I look back and I was extremely happy then. Am I happy today?

00:28:01.655 --> 00:28:07.835

Christopher Cochran: No. I mean, I'm joyful moments. I have moments, pockets of joy that I try to build my heart up.

00:28:07.975 --> 00:28:13.955

Christopher Cochran: But to sit here and say that I'm happy, no, because I still struggle with it.

00:28:14.135 --> 00:28:19.555

Christopher Cochran: I struggle talking about it. I struggle. But I know at the heart of it is Christian.

00:28:20.055 --> 00:28:23.255

Christopher Cochran: And it's him telling me to push.

00:28:23.435 --> 00:28:28.335

Christopher Cochran: He's telling me, you have to be out there to help people. The message is too important.

00:28:28.635 --> 00:28:33.595

Christopher Cochran: That life is so precious. Life is so good. And if we narrow it down to the simplest

00:28:33.595 --> 00:28:36.715

Christopher Cochran: things that in our day, which it is, right?

00:28:36.835 --> 00:28:40.335

Christopher Cochran: You can have bad days, but you can find beauty in those days.

00:28:40.855 --> 00:28:46.195

Christopher Cochran: That's what drives me. That's what drives my family, drives my wife, you know, and my kids.

00:28:46.655 --> 00:28:50.815

Christopher Cochran: And so I don't think there's any other, to your point, which is either,

00:28:51.075 --> 00:28:55.975

Christopher Cochran: and a lot of people statistically break up. marriages break up when things like this happen.

00:28:56.375 --> 00:29:02.715

Christopher Cochran: It's well over 50% that marriages fall apart and families come apart because

00:29:02.715 --> 00:29:05.295

Christopher Cochran: of the grief. It's just so intense.

00:29:06.195 --> 00:29:09.475

Christopher Cochran: But we fought through it to stay loving.

00:29:10.935 --> 00:29:15.255

Christopher Cochran: I know it's such a cliche, you put one foot in front of the other, and it really is.

00:29:15.395 --> 00:29:19.015

Christopher Cochran: You have to just get up and focus on what you can do good today.

00:29:19.535 --> 00:29:24.455

Christopher Cochran: And Christian had this wonderful thing. Christian didn't have to-do list. He had to love list.

00:29:25.075 --> 00:29:31.155

Christopher Cochran: And so I think it's such a powerful thing that when I get up and we get up as

00:29:31.155 --> 00:29:34.515

Christopher Cochran: family, we don't have these to-do lists. Like I gotta get this done.

00:29:34.595 --> 00:29:37.435

Christopher Cochran: I gotta to love somebody. How do I love someone better?

00:29:37.775 --> 00:29:42.795

Christopher Cochran: How do I put more good into this world that's negative in so many ways?

00:29:42.975 --> 00:29:47.075

Christopher Cochran: So I just do what Christian does and follow that. And that's the point of the

00:29:47.075 --> 00:29:48.895

Christopher Cochran: book is that I tried to document those ways.

00:29:49.015 --> 00:29:51.195

Christopher Cochran: That you can do exactly the same thing.

00:29:51.835 --> 00:29:57.375

Kevin Lowe: Wow. Before we dive into the book, because that was honestly my next question,

00:29:57.535 --> 00:30:04.935

Kevin Lowe: but you spoke about the house, about his bedroom, about the shoes in the garage.

00:30:05.415 --> 00:30:10.235

Kevin Lowe: You mentioned earlier that Christian actually passed away at home.

00:30:11.275 --> 00:30:16.455

Kevin Lowe: Typically, we think of somebody being sick like that, maybe being in the hospital.

00:30:16.875 --> 00:30:17.315

Christopher Cochran: Yeah.

00:30:17.655 --> 00:30:20.015

Kevin Lowe: Was that a choice that you guys made?

00:30:20.375 --> 00:30:22.835

Christopher Cochran: It's a great question. You know, that's the first question. I've been a lot

00:30:22.835 --> 00:30:24.155

Christopher Cochran: of podcasts, lots of interviews.

00:30:24.395 --> 00:30:27.535

Christopher Cochran: No one's ever asked me that question. I think it's because they're worried of

00:30:27.535 --> 00:30:29.355

Christopher Cochran: what, you know, how's that going to come out?

00:30:29.595 --> 00:30:32.015

Christopher Cochran: It's a great question. I'm glad you asked it, by the way.

00:30:33.278 --> 00:30:38.558

Christopher Cochran: So it was a choice. It was a choice by Christian. It was a choice by all of us.

00:30:38.758 --> 00:30:45.118

Christopher Cochran: There was no way, no way that Christian was going to pass away in a hospital.

00:30:45.418 --> 00:30:50.338

Christopher Cochran: I didn't want that. He didn't want that. I wanted him surrounded by the love of his pets.

00:30:50.658 --> 00:30:54.238

Christopher Cochran: The home he was raised in where all the joy was.

00:30:54.778 --> 00:30:59.858

Christopher Cochran: That was important that we had that. Now, I will tell you three weeks prior,

00:31:00.178 --> 00:31:06.298

Christopher Cochran: the cancer had spread to his spine and there was a real chance he was going

00:31:06.298 --> 00:31:10.658

Christopher Cochran: to be, you know, paralyzed because the cancer was so aggressive.

00:31:10.658 --> 00:31:12.778

Christopher Cochran: So God bless Christian.

00:31:12.998 --> 00:31:16.378

Christopher Cochran: We talked about this. There was something they could do, a procedure,

00:31:16.878 --> 00:31:23.138

Christopher Cochran: not a very painful type of situation on the spine to allow that not to happen

00:31:23.138 --> 00:31:26.158

Christopher Cochran: so that he could be at home with us.

00:31:27.438 --> 00:31:33.438

Christopher Cochran: And we surrounded him. I'll tell you something that's – and I talk about it,

00:31:33.458 --> 00:31:37.578

Christopher Cochran: so it's not something I'll talk about. but there was a night when we thought

00:31:37.578 --> 00:31:42.118

Christopher Cochran: Christian's breathing had come very slow and we surrounded him.

00:31:42.298 --> 00:31:44.918

Christopher Cochran: And this is a testament to Christian's humor here.

00:31:45.258 --> 00:31:48.738

Christopher Cochran: We surrounded him. It was probably four, three o'clock in the morning.

00:31:48.738 --> 00:31:54.238

Christopher Cochran: I woke up everybody because I slept next to Christian in the living room and his girlfriend did too.

00:31:54.478 --> 00:31:58.378

Christopher Cochran: She had flown in. She stayed with us for well over a month to stay next to him.

00:31:59.058 --> 00:32:03.478

Christopher Cochran: And we surrounded him praying. We had candles, just telling him how much We loved him.

00:32:03.898 --> 00:32:07.118

Christopher Cochran: And at about six o'clock, his eyes open, looked at all of us.

00:32:07.178 --> 00:32:11.878

Christopher Cochran: And he said, we said, Hey, Christian. And he said, he says, did I miss something?

00:32:12.178 --> 00:32:16.778

Christopher Cochran: Did something happen? Like, and he just had this, it was in a way of being funny.

00:32:16.978 --> 00:32:20.598

Christopher Cochran: And we, we laughed and we said, well, Christian, we thought this was it.

00:32:20.638 --> 00:32:24.118

Christopher Cochran: And he's like, we said, we called the priest to come over here and the last rites.

00:32:24.258 --> 00:32:29.798

Christopher Cochran: And Christian said, Oh, you tell him, save, save the trip. I'm okay right now.

00:32:31.118 --> 00:32:33.918

Christopher Cochran: You know he just you know here he is he's

00:32:33.918 --> 00:32:37.518

Christopher Cochran: literally at the final point he says oh tell father

00:32:37.518 --> 00:32:44.298

Christopher Cochran: Tom and father Nick to to save the trip um you know um and and ultimately father

00:32:44.298 --> 00:32:48.978

Christopher Cochran: Nick did come out later on the day but but ultimately to talk to Christian privately

00:32:48.978 --> 00:32:53.998

Christopher Cochran: but but yeah he he made a joke of that situation we all laughed we're around

00:32:53.998 --> 00:32:55.978

Christopher Cochran: him crying but we're laughing.

00:32:56.418 --> 00:33:00.798

Christopher Cochran: And again, he just found a way to make us laugh and cry all at the same time.

00:33:00.938 --> 00:33:03.998

Christopher Cochran: And so one of the doctors said, you know, your son taught us how to live,

00:33:04.118 --> 00:33:07.818

Christopher Cochran: but he also taught us all how to die. And he did. It was a beauty.

00:33:08.078 --> 00:33:11.098

Christopher Cochran: And all that awfulness, there was so much beauty.

00:33:11.578 --> 00:33:14.498

Christopher Cochran: It's hard to explain how beautiful it really was.

00:33:15.378 --> 00:33:21.298

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Wow. I love what you just said about that. He taught you how to live,

00:33:21.478 --> 00:33:22.838

Kevin Lowe: but he also taught you how to die.

00:33:23.358 --> 00:33:32.558

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. That's what a beautiful summary of this little section of his life. Your book,

00:33:33.279 --> 00:33:40.139

Kevin Lowe: his book, what made you decide to even take on such a, such a task,

00:33:40.339 --> 00:33:45.059

Kevin Lowe: such a, such a responsibility, however you want to view it, but this,

00:33:45.179 --> 00:33:47.219

Kevin Lowe: this project of, of writing a book?

00:33:47.659 --> 00:33:53.959

Christopher Cochran: About a year and a half ago, I got that nudge from Christian to do something.

00:33:53.979 --> 00:33:55.659

Christopher Cochran: I didn't know what that was.

00:33:56.799 --> 00:34:01.699

Christopher Cochran: I knew I had to step up. I had to be a better person, a better parent,

00:34:01.839 --> 00:34:06.159

Christopher Cochran: a better personality, but it had to be something different than this person

00:34:06.159 --> 00:34:07.899

Christopher Cochran: who wanted just to stay in bed all day.

00:34:08.959 --> 00:34:15.819

Christopher Cochran: And I did, I got up, I started to go back. I journaled Christian's life when he got sick.

00:34:16.339 --> 00:34:20.919

Christopher Cochran: So I would, between midnight to four in the mornings, I was always journaling.

00:34:21.059 --> 00:34:23.879

Christopher Cochran: I didn't sleep, not very much, maybe catnaps here and there,

00:34:24.039 --> 00:34:27.879

Christopher Cochran: just to try to catch up. But I would write the journaling.

00:34:28.219 --> 00:34:32.379

Christopher Cochran: And so I had all these journals and I wanted to be able to capture some of those

00:34:32.379 --> 00:34:35.659

Christopher Cochran: journals in a story as part of the book, right?

00:34:35.879 --> 00:34:40.419

Christopher Cochran: And tell the story of how I met my wife and where we come from and what we did

00:34:40.419 --> 00:34:44.139

Christopher Cochran: and how this love story that was built around Christian.

00:34:45.519 --> 00:34:52.259

Christopher Cochran: But yeah, I just started going back in time and it's hard to relive those moments.

00:34:52.279 --> 00:34:54.379

Christopher Cochran: I haven't looked at it since, right?

00:34:54.539 --> 00:34:59.779

Christopher Cochran: I know a lot of it's in the book, but you piece it together because you want

00:34:59.779 --> 00:35:02.579

Christopher Cochran: it to flow well and tell a beautiful story.

00:35:03.079 --> 00:35:06.999

Christopher Cochran: But ultimately, yeah, it was Christian. He continues to drive me.

00:35:07.299 --> 00:35:11.059

Christopher Cochran: During the process, I wanted to stop. I couldn't do it.

00:35:11.839 --> 00:35:17.419

Christopher Cochran: But it was always Christian pushing me to do this and keep moving forward,

00:35:17.619 --> 00:35:19.299

Christopher Cochran: push yourself through difficult things.

00:35:20.099 --> 00:35:24.999

Christopher Cochran: And, um, that's what I did. And, and ultimately the, the book came out late August

00:35:25.739 --> 00:35:30.779

Christopher Cochran: and it's been, uh, I think an incredible success based on the things I hear

00:35:30.779 --> 00:35:34.919

Christopher Cochran: and then, and the reports I get, I think it's special to see that the book is

00:35:34.919 --> 00:35:37.819

Christopher Cochran: selling overseas in different countries.

00:35:37.839 --> 00:35:39.959

Christopher Cochran: And that's a really important thing.

00:35:40.079 --> 00:35:43.059

Christopher Cochran: And because I think it's a message that can spread everywhere.

00:35:43.059 --> 00:35:45.539

Christopher Cochran: It's a simple phrase, right? What's good about today.

00:35:45.919 --> 00:35:49.699

Christopher Cochran: And you can, in, in, if you look at it and ask that question of yourself,

00:35:50.279 --> 00:35:52.659

Christopher Cochran: it can have a big impact. So yeah, Christian drove me.

00:35:53.019 --> 00:35:56.439

Christopher Cochran: He still continues to drive me to do the things I do. To be here with you today,

00:35:56.919 --> 00:36:00.939

Christopher Cochran: it's always Christian driving me, inspires me to do good things and talk.

00:36:01.339 --> 00:36:06.359

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, I love it so much. Is there something in the book that maybe you could

00:36:06.359 --> 00:36:10.319

Kevin Lowe: share, maybe a story that you wrote that maybe you haven't really touched on

00:36:10.319 --> 00:36:16.119

Kevin Lowe: today to give us a little bit deeper insight into exactly the power of this book?

00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:22.359

Christopher Cochran: Yeah, one of the things I talk about, I talk about faith, right, and spirituality.

00:36:23.279 --> 00:36:26.239

Christopher Cochran: And one of the things Christian always does,

00:36:26.761 --> 00:36:34.661

Christopher Cochran: talked about was his connections with Buddhism and Judaism, and of course, the Christian faith.

00:36:34.821 --> 00:36:37.321

Christopher Cochran: But one of the things he also talked about was talism.

00:36:37.581 --> 00:36:40.901

Christopher Cochran: So, you know, talism is about flowing with the river.

00:36:41.201 --> 00:36:46.641

Christopher Cochran: There's a lot of discussion of how talism talks about how we move with the grace

00:36:46.641 --> 00:36:51.061

Christopher Cochran: of water and to let our lives flow like water.

00:36:51.161 --> 00:36:54.341

Christopher Cochran: And Christian believe that don't fight the current.

00:36:54.941 --> 00:37:00.321

Christopher Cochran: Much of us, we fight that current. And there's a whole chapter on Christian's Tao,

00:37:00.561 --> 00:37:05.681

Christopher Cochran: which is to talk about how he didn't fight that river and that he understood

00:37:05.681 --> 00:37:13.241

Christopher Cochran: that life is an easier path when you follow the stream and you flow with how things go in this world,

00:37:13.481 --> 00:37:20.721

Christopher Cochran: that you can lead a better life and you can become closer to your fellow man,

00:37:21.381 --> 00:37:27.121

Christopher Cochran: connect better, and understand your circumstances no matter how dire they can get.

00:37:27.481 --> 00:37:30.581

Christopher Cochran: So I think that's a tidbit. We didn't really talk about that,

00:37:30.581 --> 00:37:35.001

Christopher Cochran: but, you know, I think I tried to capture a lot of what I believed,

00:37:35.001 --> 00:37:36.621

Christopher Cochran: you know, Christian used to

00:37:36.621 --> 00:37:41.321

Christopher Cochran: discuss with us and how he looked at the world that way through his eyes.

00:37:41.621 --> 00:37:44.381

Christopher Cochran: So I think it was an important part of the book.

00:37:44.381 --> 00:37:48.241

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. After publishing this book,

00:37:48.881 --> 00:37:55.041

Kevin Lowe: starting speaking publicly about Christian story, coming on podcasts like this,

00:37:55.241 --> 00:38:03.301

Kevin Lowe: how has it maybe helped you in the whole grieving process?

00:38:04.101 --> 00:38:08.081

Christopher Cochran: Well, I think everybody goes through grief, some form or fashion.

00:38:08.321 --> 00:38:12.641

Christopher Cochran: It's the commonality that we all have in this life that we're all here.

00:38:13.021 --> 00:38:16.781

Christopher Cochran: Someone's going to pass away that's close to us. But I've realized that when

00:38:16.781 --> 00:38:19.521

Christopher Cochran: you get through these things, this is really about two things.

00:38:19.661 --> 00:38:24.621

Christopher Cochran: One is absolutely always show humbleness, humbleness before God,

00:38:24.741 --> 00:38:27.661

Christopher Cochran: humble before everybody, humble in your life.

00:38:28.241 --> 00:38:30.901

Christopher Cochran: And the second thing is to realize you're not in control.

00:38:32.141 --> 00:38:36.901

Christopher Cochran: You think you're in control, but ultimately God is the one who controls how things work.

00:38:37.281 --> 00:38:40.921

Christopher Cochran: And we're just here to make the best of things.

00:38:41.261 --> 00:38:45.321

Christopher Cochran: But I think one of the things that it's taught me is that, you know,

00:38:45.421 --> 00:38:46.921

Christopher Cochran: really there are three things that it's taught me.

00:38:47.021 --> 00:38:50.221

Christopher Cochran: One is the power of perspective, right?

00:38:50.521 --> 00:38:55.961

Christopher Cochran: I believe that every day you got to ask yourself this, what's good about today

00:38:55.961 --> 00:39:00.381

Christopher Cochran: and focus on that because that gives you some perspective. I also think that

00:39:00.381 --> 00:39:03.401

Christopher Cochran: there's something resilience and choice.

00:39:04.481 --> 00:39:08.621

Christopher Cochran: And I think, you know, watching Christian endure these endless treatments,

00:39:08.881 --> 00:39:12.161

Christopher Cochran: therapies, surgeries, I realized something profound.

00:39:13.121 --> 00:39:18.941

Christopher Cochran: Resilience isn't a trait. It's a decision. Right. So resilience isn't a trait. It's a decision.

00:39:19.141 --> 00:39:23.921

Christopher Cochran: And Christian made the decision every single day to be positive and to be funny

00:39:23.921 --> 00:39:26.261

Christopher Cochran: and to face these challenges.

00:39:26.581 --> 00:39:28.921

Christopher Cochran: And then ultimately, it's leave a legacy.

00:39:29.301 --> 00:39:31.081

Christopher Cochran: Legacies are built on small moments.

00:39:31.661 --> 00:39:38.661

Christopher Cochran: Right. And I try to remind that every interaction we have, every small kindness,

00:39:38.841 --> 00:39:41.721

Christopher Cochran: every smile, that's what people remember.

00:39:41.781 --> 00:39:45.701

Christopher Cochran: Because it's easy to get caught up in wanting to achieve big things.

00:39:45.721 --> 00:39:51.561

Christopher Cochran: But the truth is our greatest legacies is built every day in the smallest of moments.

00:39:51.561 --> 00:39:58.321

Christopher Cochran: So when you, you know, narrow it down to small moments and you can make sure

00:39:58.321 --> 00:40:04.681

Christopher Cochran: that you have resilience of your choice and you have a strong power of perspective.

00:40:04.981 --> 00:40:08.021

Christopher Cochran: Those are three things I think you can take away daily.

00:40:08.501 --> 00:40:14.941

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, I love it. Before we continue for somebody hearing us talk about your

00:40:14.941 --> 00:40:19.541

Kevin Lowe: book, where is the best place for people to find your book at?

00:40:19.541 --> 00:40:23.661

Christopher Cochran: So the book is available for global distribution. It can be found online.

00:40:23.821 --> 00:40:26.721

Christopher Cochran: Again, it's What's Good About Today, A Purpose Driven Life.

00:40:26.881 --> 00:40:29.121

Christopher Cochran: You certainly could Google Christian Cochran.

00:40:29.301 --> 00:40:31.881

Christopher Cochran: You'll probably get all kinds of information on Christian.

00:40:32.081 --> 00:40:36.281

Christopher Cochran: And that's the most important thing. There's certainly christiancochran.org.

00:40:36.441 --> 00:40:39.181

Christopher Cochran: That talks about all the things we're doing in Christian's name,

00:40:39.441 --> 00:40:44.001

Christopher Cochran: the foundation, the things he cared about, the stories about Christian,

00:40:44.201 --> 00:40:45.761

Christopher Cochran: certainly pictures about Christian.

00:40:46.701 --> 00:40:50.681

Christopher Cochran: And you can certainly find the book at Amazon.

00:40:51.081 --> 00:40:54.241

Christopher Cochran: So it's on Amazon and you can find Barnes & Noble.

00:40:54.541 --> 00:40:59.481

Christopher Cochran: But I think it's in almost most all, I mean, it's certainly in Christian stores,

00:40:59.501 --> 00:41:01.061

Christopher Cochran: it's in different locations.

00:41:01.081 --> 00:41:05.221

Christopher Cochran: So if you can't get it at Barnes & Noble on site, you can order it from there.

00:41:05.341 --> 00:41:10.941

Christopher Cochran: But online, it's a pretty easy thing. You get it, they make it so easy now to get these books.

00:41:11.221 --> 00:41:13.361

Christopher Cochran: You could order it today. You probably have it by tomorrow.

00:41:14.101 --> 00:41:18.721

Christopher Cochran: So, yeah, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and any retailer that sells books.

00:41:19.401 --> 00:41:24.161

Kevin Lowe: Well, fantastic. Well, I will be positive that all of that is in the show notes

00:41:24.161 --> 00:41:31.081

Kevin Lowe: for anybody interested for making that super easy to access to get a hold of this book.

00:41:31.541 --> 00:41:36.021

Kevin Lowe: Because I think it's, as we've heard it, it's more than a book.

00:41:36.541 --> 00:41:41.801

Kevin Lowe: I mean, it's honestly like a manual for how to live life like Christian.

00:41:42.201 --> 00:41:50.721

Kevin Lowe: And as you talk today, I mean, it's obvious, no doubt, that your son was a one of a kind.

00:41:50.981 --> 00:41:57.121

Kevin Lowe: And you even made mention of it that he lived a lot in his life.

00:41:58.522 --> 00:42:06.442

Kevin Lowe: And it's like, it's like it was all meant to be, you know, it's like sometimes

00:42:06.442 --> 00:42:11.162

Kevin Lowe: there's some people who God knows they're going to leave a massive impact really quick.

00:42:11.162 --> 00:42:14.122

Kevin Lowe: Maybe others, it's going to be a little bit longer time.

00:42:15.842 --> 00:42:23.182

Kevin Lowe: And as much as all of us wish that no one had to leave, the fact of the legacy

00:42:23.182 --> 00:42:28.542

Kevin Lowe: that your son has left on this world is absolutely beautiful.

00:42:29.802 --> 00:42:32.902

Christopher Cochran: Thank you. Thank you, Kevin. Appreciate that.

00:42:33.342 --> 00:42:33.702

Kevin Lowe: Yeah.

00:42:33.842 --> 00:42:38.802

Christopher Cochran: I agree with you. I agree with you. Yeah, I mean, I appreciate saying it is

00:42:38.802 --> 00:42:42.042

Christopher Cochran: a robe. I always refer to it as a roadmap, right?

00:42:42.782 --> 00:42:47.562

Christopher Cochran: It's a roadmap to find purpose. I still continue to use the book as a roadmap.

00:42:47.722 --> 00:42:51.802

Christopher Cochran: At the end of every chapter, it does give examples of how, you know,

00:42:51.922 --> 00:42:56.762

Christopher Cochran: it sort of paraphrases the chapter at the end of every chapter to give people

00:42:56.762 --> 00:43:00.382

Christopher Cochran: useful tools to use in their daily life the way Christian did.

00:43:00.522 --> 00:43:06.262

Christopher Cochran: And so I'm still striving for that. I'm still striving to lead a purposely driven life.

00:43:06.302 --> 00:43:10.122

Christopher Cochran: I think everybody is, right? We're all trying to figure out, why are we here?

00:43:10.282 --> 00:43:13.042

Christopher Cochran: What's next? Why did God put me here?

00:43:13.842 --> 00:43:20.762

Christopher Cochran: Why any of these things? But I think past the why, it's how we interact with

00:43:20.762 --> 00:43:23.062

Christopher Cochran: others, how we go about our daily life.

00:43:23.162 --> 00:43:25.382

Christopher Cochran: And so I think you're right, Christian.

00:43:25.942 --> 00:43:30.922

Christopher Cochran: I have to believe that this was divine, the way God sets this out to be, right?

00:43:31.202 --> 00:43:35.682

Christopher Cochran: I used to say to Christian, even when he was little, I always said this to Christian.

00:43:36.042 --> 00:43:38.362

Christopher Cochran: I mean, when I was a little kid, I would say, when I grew up,

00:43:38.482 --> 00:43:39.782

Christopher Cochran: Krishna, I want to be just like you.

00:43:40.536 --> 00:43:45.796

Christopher Cochran: And, and I said that to him all the time because he just, that's how he,

00:43:45.896 --> 00:43:50.176

Christopher Cochran: he led that, he kept leading this purposely driven life, whether it was traveling,

00:43:50.376 --> 00:43:52.316

Christopher Cochran: connecting, helping those who are struggling.

00:43:52.876 --> 00:43:56.876

Christopher Cochran: I document letters. There are letters from people in the book that,

00:43:56.876 --> 00:44:00.976

Christopher Cochran: that I didn't know about Christian, right? I knew he's a great person.

00:44:01.116 --> 00:44:03.816

Christopher Cochran: I knew he did all these wonders and he was a wonderful human being,

00:44:03.816 --> 00:44:07.416

Christopher Cochran: but people would reach out to me that spent five minutes and how he changed

00:44:07.416 --> 00:44:11.556

Christopher Cochran: their life. or I'd have old friends who are not included in something.

00:44:11.996 --> 00:44:16.756

Christopher Cochran: One in particular story, a girl who was at college, she had sat down at the lunch table.

00:44:16.876 --> 00:44:20.496

Christopher Cochran: Christian was over with his friends. This is in college and she was by herself.

00:44:20.656 --> 00:44:26.556

Christopher Cochran: And Christian had this incredible, I mean, oh, there's not enough words to describe

00:44:26.556 --> 00:44:28.636

Christopher Cochran: it. He understood people's pain.

00:44:29.096 --> 00:44:32.696

Christopher Cochran: He could see it and he would go to it. He didn't run away from it.

00:44:32.916 --> 00:44:35.916

Christopher Cochran: And so if he saw you were in pain, he saw you were isolated.

00:44:36.516 --> 00:44:40.236

Christopher Cochran: She told me the story that Christian came to her and sat with her and introduced himself.

00:44:41.096 --> 00:44:45.836

Christopher Cochran: And she said, I was in the worst place possible. I was in a very bad place.

00:44:45.956 --> 00:44:50.896

Christopher Cochran: And your son brought me so much joy and light. He brought me into his friend group.

00:44:51.236 --> 00:44:55.736

Christopher Cochran: He introduced me at that moment, said that he was one, I was one of them.

00:44:55.936 --> 00:45:00.336

Christopher Cochran: And he would take whatever she needed when she was struggling.

00:45:00.876 --> 00:45:07.596

Christopher Cochran: It's just, it's one of hundreds of stories that I recount in the book and talk about.

00:45:07.916 --> 00:45:13.556

Christopher Cochran: I think it brings me peace to know that Christian was doing all the right things

00:45:13.556 --> 00:45:18.276

Christopher Cochran: in this life to get him to where he wanted to go in the next life, ultimately.

00:45:19.276 --> 00:45:26.856

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. To close out our conversation today, there's so much that your son has

00:45:26.856 --> 00:45:30.376

Kevin Lowe: taught us about living, about dying.

00:45:30.916 --> 00:45:36.396

Kevin Lowe: But if you had to just leave us with one thing, what is that one thing that

00:45:36.396 --> 00:45:40.856

Kevin Lowe: you want every person listening today to remember about your son?

00:45:41.616 --> 00:45:46.716

Christopher Cochran: Life will hand us challenges. It will bring us to our knees.

00:45:47.056 --> 00:45:53.656

Christopher Cochran: And sometimes we won't know how to move forward. But there's one thing Christian taught me. It's this.

00:45:53.876 --> 00:45:57.476

Christopher Cochran: There's always something good about today. It It might be small,

00:45:57.676 --> 00:46:00.316

Christopher Cochran: it might be hidden, but it's there.

00:46:01.016 --> 00:46:05.196

Christopher Cochran: When we choose to focus on that, when we embrace resilience,

00:46:05.516 --> 00:46:09.996

Christopher Cochran: when we commit to creating a legacy built on love, kindness, and courage,

00:46:10.829 --> 00:46:17.309

Christopher Cochran: We don't just survive, we thrive. So I would leave everyone with that and hope

00:46:17.309 --> 00:46:21.669

Christopher Cochran: that people wake up, whether it's in the morning, it's in the afternoon,

00:46:21.709 --> 00:46:23.169

Christopher Cochran: or it's before you go to bed,

00:46:23.409 --> 00:46:27.289

Christopher Cochran: is to remind yourself what's good about today.

00:46:27.429 --> 00:46:33.349

Christopher Cochran: Because I really, really believe it can help guide anyone moving forward.

00:46:34.069 --> 00:46:40.129

Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. Christopher, thank you, man, from the bottom of my heart for,

00:46:40.129 --> 00:46:45.909

Kevin Lowe: for being here, for, for sharing the story about your family,

00:46:46.329 --> 00:46:50.629

Kevin Lowe: about your son, with me, with my audience. It means the world to me.

00:46:50.909 --> 00:46:53.289

Kevin Lowe: And I can't say thank you enough.

00:46:53.509 --> 00:46:58.869

Christopher Cochran: Well, thank you, Kevin. I want to thank you. You've shared your story and it

00:46:58.869 --> 00:47:03.089

Christopher Cochran: always brings me so much joyfulness to my heart.

00:47:03.249 --> 00:47:07.509

Christopher Cochran: When I hear your story, how you've strong resilience, how you lead your life.

00:47:07.829 --> 00:47:11.329

Christopher Cochran: I love when you speak, you are filled with so much happiness.

00:47:11.549 --> 00:47:14.949

Christopher Cochran: You have it. You just got, you've got that thing, Kevin. That's the thing.

00:47:15.089 --> 00:47:16.809

Christopher Cochran: You and Christian have this thing.

00:47:17.209 --> 00:47:20.769

Christopher Cochran: Not many people have it. I don't have it. That's the thing.

00:47:21.149 --> 00:47:27.329

Christopher Cochran: But you have it. And it's a way to bring absolute smiles to someone's face.

00:47:27.449 --> 00:47:29.029

Christopher Cochran: And so I want to thank you.

00:47:29.329 --> 00:47:32.629

Christopher Cochran: Thank you for the opportunity to get to meet you. I know it was divine intervention

00:47:32.629 --> 00:47:34.289

Christopher Cochran: that Christian brought us together for sure.

00:47:35.069 --> 00:47:39.069

Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. Well, thank you. That truly means the world to me.

00:47:39.609 --> 00:47:45.269

Kevin Lowe: And for you listening today, of course, I don't know if you clicked on today's

00:47:45.269 --> 00:47:47.569

Kevin Lowe: episode expecting to hear what you heard today.

00:47:47.909 --> 00:47:53.309

Kevin Lowe: It was a story combined with lessons about living, about dying.

00:47:53.669 --> 00:47:57.069

Kevin Lowe: A story about a father, about a son, about a family.

00:47:57.469 --> 00:48:03.309

Kevin Lowe: But more than anything else, I think it's a story that turns to you and asks

00:48:03.309 --> 00:48:09.369

Kevin Lowe: you one important question. today, tomorrow, and every day, what's good about today?

00:48:09.520 --> 00:48:30.000

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