FREE DOWNLOAD! 14 Nuggets of Wisdom for a Better Life!

Have you ever found yourself—or perhaps you’re in that place right now—feeling trapped by overwhelm, anxiety, and fear, wondering if true happiness is only reserved for everyone else? If so, today’s episode is going to teach you science-backed strategies proving that genuine joy and happiness are not only possible, but well within your reach!

Do You Need a Mental Health & Happiness Boost?

If you're craving genuine joy, battling overwhelm, or yearning for a better you, get ready—this conversation unlocks the motivational secrets behind true, lasting happiness!

Your Happiness Resources:

An Inspiring Story of Finding Happiness

In this raw and empowering episode, Tamara Zoner—a survivor of a 15-year emotionally abusive marriage—reveals how she turned rock-bottom despair into a thriving career as a science-backed happiness coach.

You’ll hear how she:

Escaped financial and emotional captivity with three young children
Used the “Passion Test” to reclaim her identity
Teaches proven techniques to rewire negativity (backed by neuroscience!)
Discovered that happiness is a muscle—not a destination

From viral COVID-era senior center workshops to her upcoming Radiant Happiness Retreat, Tamara’s story proves joy isn’t just possible—it’s teachable.

Your Happiness Roadmap:

Happiness is a practice, not a personality trait: Learn daily habits to boost your “happiness set point.”
Break free from “stuck” mindset traps: How to spot limiting beliefs (like “I have to make this work”) and replace them with empowered action.
Fun is non-negotiable: Why silly walks, karaoke, and cat videos are secretly revolutionary acts of self-care.

Make Your Happiness a Priority!

Hit Play to unlock Tamara’s step-by-step framework for creating a life you love right now!

Today’s Inspiring Guest

Tamara Zoner is a certified happiness coach, speaker, and founder of A Life You Love Now. After escaping an abusive marriage and navigating single parenthood, she combines cutting-edge neuroscience with hard-won wisdom to help others cultivate unshakable joy. A recovering people-pleaser turned empowerment advocate, Tamara now leads retreats and workshops worldwide—proving that happiness isn’t just possible, but learnable.

Hey, it's Kevin!

I hope you enjoyed today's episode! If there is ever anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to reach out. Below, you will find ALL the places and ALL the ways to connect!

I would LOVE to hear from you! Send me a Voice Message
Want to be a guest on GRIT, GRACE, & INSPIRATION? Send Kevin Lowe a message on PodMatch!
Show Notes

FREE DOWNLOAD! 14 Nuggets of Wisdom for a Better Life!
Have you ever found yourself—or perhaps you’re in that place right now—feeling trapped by overwhelm, anxiety, and fear, wondering if true happiness is only reserved for everyone else? If so, today’s episode is going to teach you science-backed strategies proving that genuine joy and happiness are not only possible, but well within your reach!
Do You Need a Mental Health & Happiness Boost?
If you're craving genuine joy, battling overwhelm, or yearning for a better you, get ready—this conversation unlocks the motivational secrets behind true, lasting happiness!
Your Happiness Resources:
An Inspiring Story of Finding Happiness
In this raw and empowering episode, Tamara Zoner—a survivor of a 15-year emotionally abusive marriage—reveals how she turned rock-bottom despair into a thriving career as a science-backed happiness coach.
You’ll hear how she:
- Escaped financial and emotional captivity with three young children
- Used the “Passion Test” to reclaim her identity
- Teaches proven techniques to rewire negativity (backed by neuroscience!)
- Discovered that happiness is a muscle—not a destination
From viral COVID-era senior center workshops to her upcoming Radiant Happiness Retreat, Tamara’s story proves joy isn’t just possible—it’s teachable.

Your Happiness Roadmap:
- Happiness is a practice, not a personality trait: Learn daily habits to boost your “happiness set point.”
- Break free from “stuck” mindset traps: How to spot limiting beliefs (like “I have to make this work”) and replace them with empowered action.
- Fun is non-negotiable: Why silly walks, karaoke, and cat videos are secretly revolutionary acts of self-care.
Make Your Happiness a Priority!
Hit Play to unlock Tamara’s step-by-step framework for creating a life you love right now!

Today’s Inspiring Guest
Tamara Zoner is a certified happiness coach, speaker, and founder of A Life You Love Now. After escaping an abusive marriage and navigating single parenthood, she combines cutting-edge neuroscience with hard-won wisdom to help others cultivate unshakable joy. A recovering people-pleaser turned empowerment advocate, Tamara now leads retreats and workshops worldwide—proving that happiness isn’t just possible, but learnable.

Hey, it's Kevin!

I hope you enjoyed today's episode! If there is ever anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to reach out. Below, you will find ALL the places and ALL the ways to connect!
Stay Awesome! Live Inspired!
© 2025 Grit, Grace, & Inspiration
Show Transcript

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Kevin Lowe: If you've ever felt lost, overwhelmed, even frustrated at trying to regain your happiness,

00:00:07.477 --> 00:00:12.557

Kevin Lowe: Well, today's episode, today's conversation is going to give you the tools you

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Kevin Lowe: need to break free and create a life you truly love.

00:00:16.577 --> 00:00:21.077

Kevin Lowe: Our guest, Tamara's owner, she was trapped in an emotionally abusive marriage.

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Kevin Lowe: She was convinced she was stuck until, of course, she made one monumental decision

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Kevin Lowe: that would change everything.

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Kevin Lowe: Today, Tamara is a science-backed happiness coach, proving that pure joy,

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Kevin Lowe: it's not just possible, but rather it's a skill that can be learned and mastered.

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Kevin Lowe: If you, my friend, are in need of a little bit more joy in your life,

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Kevin Lowe: some happiness, you could benefit from a masterclass on happiness,

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Kevin Lowe: well, you're exactly where you're meant to be.

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Kevin Lowe: This, my friend, is episode 367. Now, as a quick reminder, if you would love

00:00:59.777 --> 00:01:04.517

Kevin Lowe: a little help in being sure that this year is indeed the best year of your life,

00:01:04.697 --> 00:01:07.017

Kevin Lowe: well, you got to go check out my free resource.

00:01:07.197 --> 00:01:10.837

Kevin Lowe: It's called 14 Nuggets of Wisdom for a Better Life.

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Kevin Lowe: I've created a free ebook plus an exclusive free podcast episode,

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Kevin Lowe: all designed to help you make this year the best year of your life.

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Kevin Lowe: A link is at the top of today's show notes where you can click to download,

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Kevin Lowe: or you can also head on over to gritgraceinspiration.com, the website for the podcast,

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Kevin Lowe: where you will also find a link to access that same resource.

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Kevin Lowe: It's just my way of trying to help you make today a little bit better than yesterday.

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Kevin Lowe: And of course, this year, the best year of your life.

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Kevin Lowe: With that said, I hope you enjoy today's episode.

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Kevin Lowe: Here's my interview with Tamara Zona. Hey, I'm your host, Kevin Lowe,

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Kevin Lowe: and you are listening to Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

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Kevin Lowe: What has happened to my friends? Welcome back to the studios here at Great Grace and Inspiration.

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Kevin Lowe: Today, I have the pleasure of being joined by another amazing woman here in

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Kevin Lowe: the studio with me, Tamara. Welcome to the podcast.

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Tamara Zoner: Thank you. It's a joy to be here.

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Kevin Lowe: Oh my goodness. Well, Tamara, I've been super excited for us to get to talk

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Kevin Lowe: today and get to unpack really kind of,

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Kevin Lowe: I guess I would say it, both kind of like this personal journey and professional

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Kevin Lowe: journey that you've been on and all of this around this amazing topic of happiness.

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Kevin Lowe: I want to ask a question to kick things off today.

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Kevin Lowe: When we talk about happiness, do you think of happiness as a destination or

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Kevin Lowe: is it part of the journey?

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Tamara Zoner: It is the journey.

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Tamara Zoner: Yeah, I think there's a big problem if we think that it's the destination because

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Tamara Zoner: we're never going to get there. We're always here.

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Tamara Zoner: And so if we can just plant our feet and know that happiness is a moment to

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Tamara Zoner: moment practice, then we'll feel more of it.

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Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Yeah. I love that so much. Well, then talking about the journey is,

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Kevin Lowe: I always love to kind of go back a little bit. And so

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Kevin Lowe: I'll let you decide where we pick up your story at.

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Kevin Lowe: But what I'm curious is, is when you look back on this journey you've been on, was there any person,

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Kevin Lowe: an event, even maybe just a period of your life that you feel like was really

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Kevin Lowe: significant on getting you to where you are today?

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Tamara Zoner: Yes. Yes and yes.

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Tamara Zoner: The most significant point in my life where I feel like really where I am today

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Tamara Zoner: began is about 15 years ago,

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Tamara Zoner: where I really discovered and admitted to myself that I was not living for me.

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Tamara Zoner: I was trying to be someone for someone else.

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Tamara Zoner: And that was a glimmer. And then I continued for a few more years in this controlling,

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Tamara Zoner: emotionally abusive marriage because we had had a third child and I didn't want to be a single parent.

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Tamara Zoner: But as I had tried everything to fix the marriage, to make it better,

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Tamara Zoner: to be who we wanted, and none of it worked, I finally turned back to myself

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Tamara Zoner: and was like, well, I feel miserable.

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Tamara Zoner: This isn't working for me. I hate life.

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Tamara Zoner: I don't like me. and I'm supposed to be happy, right?

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Tamara Zoner: Because I've got children and a husband and I'm living in another country.

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Tamara Zoner: And like, ideally it should be a happy life, but it's not.

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Tamara Zoner: And so when I started to kind of dig into what would make me happy,

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Tamara Zoner: I stopped kind of the lying to myself of like, this will get better because

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Tamara Zoner: it wasn't getting better.

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Tamara Zoner: And I instead said, what do I need? now? What would make me feel happy?

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Tamara Zoner: And I happen to at the same time,

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Tamara Zoner: meet a woman who was a certified passion test facilitator.

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Tamara Zoner: And when we first exchanged business cards, I didn't know what that was.

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Tamara Zoner: I've never heard of it, but something in my whole body knew.

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Tamara Zoner: I felt like shivers and chills. Like when you just know something is about to change or happen.

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Tamara Zoner: That's how I felt when I read those words. And before I'd even taken what's

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Tamara Zoner: called the passion test, I had signed up to become a certified facilitator.

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Tamara Zoner: And it was really that process that helped me and still helps anybody I work

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Tamara Zoner: with to identify what I wanted life to look and feel like.

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Tamara Zoner: And the interesting thing for me at the time was that you make a list of 10

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Tamara Zoner: to 12 things that you want to be, do, feel, or have.

00:06:01.940 --> 00:06:07.360

Tamara Zoner: And my family was on that list, but the process is getting down to the top five.

00:06:07.660 --> 00:06:10.900

Tamara Zoner: And my family hit one of those.

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Tamara Zoner: And the rest was about me feeling authentic, about me having confidence,

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Tamara Zoner: about me having my own voice and friends because I had no friends because controlling husband.

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Tamara Zoner: And so it was really awakening for me. It was eye-opening. It was heart awakening.

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Tamara Zoner: Like, oh, I've been living this lie to try to make someone else happy who is

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Tamara Zoner: never happy and never going to be happy with me.

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Tamara Zoner: And now I get to choose something different.

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Tamara Zoner: And as, and it's a long story shortish, but as I opened to what made me feel

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Tamara Zoner: good and I stepped back into personal development and personal growth and really honoring myself,

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Tamara Zoner: I was able to gather the courage to walk away from that painful,

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Tamara Zoner: painful marriage and really step more fully into being who I am and reclaimed

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Tamara Zoner: or remembered the joyful person that I naturally am.

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Tamara Zoner: And so it was quite a process. But the reason I do this work is because I was

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Tamara Zoner: desperately unhappy, but I could remember a version of myself with some natural happiness.

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Tamara Zoner: And it was all about finding her again.

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Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Now, how long were you in this relationship before you really started

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Kevin Lowe: coming to this kind of awakening?

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Tamara Zoner: 12 years and I left at 15 years.

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Kevin Lowe: Wow. Now, how I don't even know how to frame the question of how were you able

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Kevin Lowe: to to get out of such a relationship?

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Kevin Lowe: Because obviously that takes extreme courage and strength on your part.

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Kevin Lowe: What was that like for you?

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Tamara Zoner: It was so hard, Kevin. It's so scary to be, especially as a parent, right?

00:08:07.276 --> 00:08:11.416

Tamara Zoner: To be a parent of three young children who I had worked on and off,

00:08:11.536 --> 00:08:15.036

Tamara Zoner: but we had moved from country to country. My ex-husband is French.

00:08:15.376 --> 00:08:19.276

Tamara Zoner: So we weren't like, he wasn't attached to the United States where I'm from.

00:08:19.516 --> 00:08:25.416

Tamara Zoner: And so we had lived in Asia. We had lived in the UK and I had this reoccurring

00:08:25.416 --> 00:08:30.236

Tamara Zoner: thought that I was just stuck because how was I supposed to support three kids

00:08:30.236 --> 00:08:32.516

Tamara Zoner: on my own? Where would we even live.

00:08:32.916 --> 00:08:38.956

Tamara Zoner: And as I just became clearer and clearer on what I needed to do,

00:08:39.156 --> 00:08:43.516

Tamara Zoner: which was to gather that courage to do something more for myself,

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Tamara Zoner: synchronicity played a part.

00:08:45.416 --> 00:08:52.916

Tamara Zoner: So I had gained enough confidence and courage to fight for coming home for a

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Tamara Zoner: visit with my three kids and me, just us, just the four of us.

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Tamara Zoner: My ex, still husband at the time, stayed in the UK where we were living because

00:09:01.376 --> 00:09:03.236

Tamara Zoner: he needed to work and couldn't take the time off.

00:09:03.416 --> 00:09:08.356

Tamara Zoner: And normally I didn't travel without him, but I've, I've fought for this one.

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Tamara Zoner: I was like, I need to go home. I need to see my family.

00:09:11.496 --> 00:09:14.076

Tamara Zoner: I need to see my friends. The kids need to see their family.

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Tamara Zoner: And so he agreed. So we came back to Michigan, August of 2014.

00:09:22.456 --> 00:09:28.336

Tamara Zoner: And after a few days, I noticed myself start to relax.

00:09:28.476 --> 00:09:35.896

Tamara Zoner: Like I wasn't constantly bracing for the next outburst or what I was going to be in trouble for.

00:09:36.236 --> 00:09:41.156

Tamara Zoner: And I started to relax and think, well, wow, here are these people around me

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Tamara Zoner: who say they love me and they act like it too.

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Tamara Zoner: And I was a brand new passion test facilitator at the time. So I had just gotten

00:09:49.516 --> 00:09:52.436

Tamara Zoner: certified as a life coach, as a passion test facilitator.

00:09:52.576 --> 00:09:57.796

Tamara Zoner: And so I wanted to practice my new skills on my family and friends who I hadn't seen in years.

00:09:58.676 --> 00:10:03.976

Tamara Zoner: And I was giving a workshop and like any good abused spouse,

00:10:04.376 --> 00:10:08.616

Tamara Zoner: I had informed my husband exactly what I'd be doing all day long, right?

00:10:08.776 --> 00:10:13.656

Tamara Zoner: I'm not going to be answering my phone for three hours because I will be doing this workshop.

00:10:13.976 --> 00:10:19.756

Tamara Zoner: So the unspoken words were, so please don't accuse me of things I'm not doing, but he did.

00:10:20.016 --> 00:10:26.296

Tamara Zoner: So during the workshop, he called 24 times, 24 times until one of my friends

00:10:26.296 --> 00:10:30.056

Tamara Zoner: picked up my phone and said, Tam, maybe it's an emergency. I think you might

00:10:30.056 --> 00:10:31.176

Tamara Zoner: want to call your husband.

00:10:31.516 --> 00:10:36.056

Tamara Zoner: And so I did. I went and I called him and I was like, is everything okay?

00:10:36.716 --> 00:10:41.416

Tamara Zoner: And he just went on this rampage. And I thought to myself, oh my gosh,

00:10:42.656 --> 00:10:45.456

Tamara Zoner: like here is the biggest sign.

00:10:45.716 --> 00:10:54.296

Tamara Zoner: And if I miss it now, there's no hope for me Because he is showing me exactly who he is.

00:10:54.396 --> 00:10:59.196

Tamara Zoner: And I am thousands of miles away and I don't ever have to go back to that.

00:10:59.869 --> 00:11:00.349

Kevin Lowe: Hmm.

00:11:01.009 --> 00:11:06.969

Tamara Zoner: And so, yeah, over the course of a few days, he demonstrated many ways why I

00:11:06.969 --> 00:11:08.749

Tamara Zoner: did not need to return to that relationship.

00:11:08.969 --> 00:11:11.949

Tamara Zoner: And I was so grateful, you know, as I look back and of course,

00:11:12.009 --> 00:11:14.489

Tamara Zoner: in the moment, it's all scary and it's like, what am I going to do?

00:11:14.629 --> 00:11:16.369

Tamara Zoner: And I don't want to go back to that.

00:11:16.809 --> 00:11:20.029

Tamara Zoner: And parents, could you please let me stay here for a while in your basement

00:11:20.029 --> 00:11:27.189

Tamara Zoner: with my three children? And so I am fortunate in the fact that I had family

00:11:27.189 --> 00:11:30.589

Tamara Zoner: that I could ask for support from.

00:11:30.729 --> 00:11:34.789

Tamara Zoner: And I recognize that not every person has that. And I feel very,

00:11:34.909 --> 00:11:38.369

Tamara Zoner: very grateful and fortunate that I was able to lean on them and have a safe

00:11:38.369 --> 00:11:39.949

Tamara Zoner: place for my children and I to stay.

00:11:40.429 --> 00:11:46.609

Tamara Zoner: And then, you know, suck up my ego and ask for state assistance for a time because

00:11:46.609 --> 00:11:49.929

Tamara Zoner: my ex, as soon as I decided to stay, cut me off from her bank accounts.

00:11:50.229 --> 00:11:56.809

Tamara Zoner: So I had no money, three kids. And I was not so proud that I wasn't willing

00:11:56.809 --> 00:12:01.029

Tamara Zoner: to ask for the social assistance that is available to a lot of us.

00:12:01.129 --> 00:12:02.469

Tamara Zoner: And sometimes we're too proud.

00:12:02.629 --> 00:12:08.829

Tamara Zoner: And so we keep ourselves stuck because we won't ask for help. But I did. And I got it.

00:12:09.029 --> 00:12:12.429

Tamara Zoner: And that helped me get back on my feet and be where I am today,

00:12:12.469 --> 00:12:14.049

Tamara Zoner: which is in a really amazing place.

00:12:14.449 --> 00:12:20.989

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Wow. It's such a powerful story. and I hope for anyone,

00:12:21.349 --> 00:12:27.409

Kevin Lowe: man or woman listening to this today, who's in a relationship, as you have described,

00:12:28.209 --> 00:12:34.109

Kevin Lowe: I hope that this can be that little spark that they need to hear today,

00:12:34.769 --> 00:12:36.749

Kevin Lowe: that they don't have to stay.

00:12:37.089 --> 00:12:40.449

Tamara Zoner: Me too, because it's only a belief in our mind that we're stuck.

00:12:40.449 --> 00:12:45.309

Tamara Zoner: I held it for so long. I was so attached to the belief that I had to make that

00:12:45.309 --> 00:12:48.829

Tamara Zoner: marriage work, that I was stuck in it, that I could never leave.

00:12:48.829 --> 00:12:52.429

Tamara Zoner: My own parents will celebrate 60 years of marriage in December.

00:12:52.789 --> 00:12:59.589

Tamara Zoner: So I thought I had to make this work, that I just had to deal with life, but that's not living.

00:13:00.929 --> 00:13:05.549

Tamara Zoner: That's not living. And so if anybody listening is feeling stuck,

00:13:05.729 --> 00:13:09.629

Tamara Zoner: like you don't know what to do, you don't have to know how to do it.

00:13:09.909 --> 00:13:13.429

Tamara Zoner: You simply have to decide what you want.

00:13:13.749 --> 00:13:14.189

Kevin Lowe: Yeah.

00:13:14.409 --> 00:13:15.609

Tamara Zoner: I want to feel better.

00:13:16.802 --> 00:13:25.262

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Wow. Now, after that part had ended and you, you separated,

00:13:25.502 --> 00:13:28.722

Kevin Lowe: you left your husband, you're back at home.

00:13:28.942 --> 00:13:36.122

Kevin Lowe: How do you kind of begin to create a new kind of chapter for you, for your kids?

00:13:36.142 --> 00:13:38.722

Kevin Lowe: How does that all pan out for you?

00:13:39.242 --> 00:13:44.382

Tamara Zoner: One day at a time. And I really got clear on what I wanted my life to look and

00:13:44.382 --> 00:13:46.702

Tamara Zoner: feel like. So I use the very process that I teach.

00:13:47.042 --> 00:13:54.242

Tamara Zoner: So, you know, when my life is ideal, I am able to easily support my children

00:13:54.242 --> 00:13:56.242

Tamara Zoner: in their emotional and physical growth.

00:13:56.402 --> 00:14:03.222

Tamara Zoner: When my life is ideal, I am working in a job or a career that I love that makes

00:14:03.222 --> 00:14:07.422

Tamara Zoner: me feel alive and step by step by step like that.

00:14:07.622 --> 00:14:12.662

Tamara Zoner: So I, of course, I had kids to feed. So I did go, I was a brand new coach.

00:14:12.982 --> 00:14:17.402

Tamara Zoner: So here I had just begun building my business in the UK. And now I was back

00:14:17.402 --> 00:14:20.982

Tamara Zoner: here in Michigan, starting over from scratch.

00:14:21.402 --> 00:14:26.222

Tamara Zoner: And eventually I was like, going to stay true to being a coach and not go get a J-O-B.

00:14:26.582 --> 00:14:29.082

Tamara Zoner: But then I needed to feed my kids. And my parents were like,

00:14:29.242 --> 00:14:31.262

Tamara Zoner: what are you doing, Tam, are you going to get a job?

00:14:31.882 --> 00:14:37.282

Tamara Zoner: And so I started looking for positions that felt good.

00:14:37.442 --> 00:14:42.142

Tamara Zoner: I didn't want to just do anything. I wanted to, for the first time in my life,

00:14:42.242 --> 00:14:45.702

Tamara Zoner: to stay true to me, to stay authentic to me, to stay in integrity,

00:14:45.702 --> 00:14:48.762

Tamara Zoner: because I had been out of it for so long.

00:14:49.082 --> 00:14:54.862

Tamara Zoner: And so by the time I got a call from a senior community, I didn't even remember

00:14:54.862 --> 00:14:57.022

Tamara Zoner: what I had applied for. It had been weeks.

00:14:57.222 --> 00:15:01.942

Tamara Zoner: I was living on, I had state assistance. I had a little bit of savings from a tax return.

00:15:02.402 --> 00:15:08.502

Tamara Zoner: And I finally got this call, went into a senior community to be interviewed

00:15:08.502 --> 00:15:14.202

Tamara Zoner: for whatever position they had open. And I ended up in life enrichment and activities,

00:15:14.302 --> 00:15:16.242

Tamara Zoner: which was a perfect fit for me.

00:15:16.973 --> 00:15:22.773

Tamara Zoner: The place was five minutes from my house. So I could still watch my kindergartner

00:15:22.773 --> 00:15:27.413

Tamara Zoner: get on the bus in the morning, go to work, be on time, even if I left late,

00:15:27.453 --> 00:15:31.533

Tamara Zoner: and then be home in time for him to get back off of that bus.

00:15:32.413 --> 00:15:39.053

Tamara Zoner: Or have my mother, who I was now living with my parents, meet him at the bus if I couldn't be there.

00:15:39.173 --> 00:15:46.053

Tamara Zoner: So it wasn't me working around the clock. It was me still being able to be a

00:15:46.053 --> 00:15:50.973

Tamara Zoner: present parent and have my children at home where I actually grew up,

00:15:51.093 --> 00:15:51.953

Tamara Zoner: which was pretty amazing.

00:15:52.313 --> 00:15:57.113

Tamara Zoner: So it's a big 10 acres of land so they could run and play and I'd have to watch

00:15:57.113 --> 00:15:59.093

Tamara Zoner: them every second. And that was amazing.

00:15:59.973 --> 00:16:03.753

Tamara Zoner: And then I still kept coaching and speaking on the side,

00:16:04.153 --> 00:16:08.293

Tamara Zoner: running workshops here and there, but having fun in senior communities until

00:16:08.293 --> 00:16:12.773

Tamara Zoner: finally I got another call from a friend who there was a full-time director

00:16:12.773 --> 00:16:16.453

Tamara Zoner: of life enrichment position available at another senior community,

00:16:16.713 --> 00:16:18.493

Tamara Zoner: an independent senior community,

00:16:18.813 --> 00:16:20.573

Tamara Zoner: pretty luxury too.

00:16:20.933 --> 00:16:23.913

Tamara Zoner: And so I interviewed for that job and had it within three days.

00:16:24.093 --> 00:16:28.213

Tamara Zoner: And that really, now I was fully on my own feet.

00:16:28.353 --> 00:16:33.393

Tamara Zoner: I was working more, but it was a fun job and it was definitely enriching.

00:16:33.553 --> 00:16:37.593

Tamara Zoner: So one of my rules of life is to do things that light me up.

00:16:38.193 --> 00:16:43.913

Tamara Zoner: I don't think any of us have to struggle through life. If we do,

00:16:44.113 --> 00:16:46.633

Tamara Zoner: that's just our mind lying to us.

00:16:46.813 --> 00:16:51.993

Tamara Zoner: And it's really actually so important that we do things that bring us light

00:16:51.993 --> 00:16:57.213

Tamara Zoner: and joy and love, because that opens up a world of possibilities for us when

00:16:57.213 --> 00:16:58.753

Tamara Zoner: we're in this energy of love.

00:16:58.973 --> 00:17:03.733

Tamara Zoner: Then I think from my personal perspective, like a spirit or source or whatever

00:17:03.733 --> 00:17:07.593

Tamara Zoner: you call that big guy in the sky or don't call, it doesn't matter to me.

00:17:08.393 --> 00:17:14.353

Tamara Zoner: Then that greater being responds like, oh, you're doing good stuff for you here.

00:17:14.513 --> 00:17:15.653

Tamara Zoner: I'll give you some more of it.

00:17:15.913 --> 00:17:22.653

Tamara Zoner: And so life just kept getting more fun and more rich and until COVID hit,

00:17:22.853 --> 00:17:26.413

Tamara Zoner: but that's a whole second segment of the story. Right.

00:17:26.753 --> 00:17:31.193

Tamara Zoner: So I just took one day at a time and really allowed my heart to guide me?

00:17:31.493 --> 00:17:38.773

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Wow. Now, when I'm listening to you talk about this, the question I have

00:17:38.773 --> 00:17:46.433

Kevin Lowe: when you talk about almost like talking to the person listening today and you

00:17:47.708 --> 00:17:51.188

Kevin Lowe: So many times I think we get stuck in a rut.

00:17:51.368 --> 00:17:54.748

Kevin Lowe: Like when you talk about like following what you really like,

00:17:54.908 --> 00:17:59.008

Kevin Lowe: what you love, your passion is, what lights you up, what is fun.

00:17:59.568 --> 00:18:05.888

Kevin Lowe: I think so many times as adults, we get stuck in the thing of what's it's it's

00:18:05.888 --> 00:18:09.888

Kevin Lowe: the it's our job, whether we like it or not. we go to work, we do the job.

00:18:10.348 --> 00:18:15.488

Kevin Lowe: And there's probably not even anything that most people can say that they have

00:18:15.488 --> 00:18:18.168

Kevin Lowe: as even a hobby that they love or enjoy.

00:18:18.708 --> 00:18:20.548

Kevin Lowe: What do you say to that person?

00:18:21.128 --> 00:18:24.748

Tamara Zoner: Find that hobby. Like a lot of people have forgotten because you're right,

00:18:24.928 --> 00:18:28.528

Tamara Zoner: we're weighed down by all the shoulds of adulthood. We're supposed to do this.

00:18:28.668 --> 00:18:32.628

Tamara Zoner: We have this checklist that we're, you know, we have to get a degree or a good

00:18:32.628 --> 00:18:35.868

Tamara Zoner: job or a career and then a house and then a partner, and then a family.

00:18:36.028 --> 00:18:40.408

Tamara Zoner: And we think this is this prescribed way of being that we have to do the same.

00:18:40.868 --> 00:18:45.628

Tamara Zoner: And so many times, and this is typical of my clients, they get to this point

00:18:45.628 --> 00:18:49.108

Tamara Zoner: where they say, Tamara, I've checked all the boxes and I'm still not happy.

00:18:49.648 --> 00:18:54.068

Tamara Zoner: Well, what is something that used to make you happy? So here's what I encourage

00:18:54.068 --> 00:18:57.408

Tamara Zoner: people to tap into. What used to make you feel happy?

00:18:58.088 --> 00:19:04.048

Tamara Zoner: What lights you up? Maybe you love true crime. Who cares?

00:19:04.428 --> 00:19:09.188

Tamara Zoner: Maybe you love dancing. Maybe you love singing. That is one thing that I love

00:19:09.188 --> 00:19:15.448

Tamara Zoner: doing that I had put up on a shelf because my husband told me I was too loud and I should be quiet.

00:19:15.588 --> 00:19:18.508

Tamara Zoner: So I stopped singing, which is such a part of me.

00:19:18.788 --> 00:19:22.308

Tamara Zoner: And once I left, once in a while, I'd go do karaoke.

00:19:22.588 --> 00:19:27.668

Tamara Zoner: And guess what? I would feel so alive. I love it. So what's one thing?

00:19:28.108 --> 00:19:33.068

Tamara Zoner: It can be small, it can be big, but it needs to be accessible so that you can

00:19:33.068 --> 00:19:35.808

Tamara Zoner: do it on a regular basis that makes you feel alive.

00:19:35.928 --> 00:19:42.068

Tamara Zoner: And I really don't care if it's watching funny cat videos on Instagram or taking

00:19:42.068 --> 00:19:44.628

Tamara Zoner: a walk through the woods for five minutes.

00:19:45.970 --> 00:19:50.810

Tamara Zoner: Or just sitting and remembering what you used to do and really allowing yourself

00:19:50.810 --> 00:19:53.850

Tamara Zoner: to imagine or remember, because it's the same thing to the brain,

00:19:54.030 --> 00:20:01.830

Tamara Zoner: what that felt like and feeling yourself come alive just that little bit.

00:20:02.030 --> 00:20:06.870

Tamara Zoner: And then bonus points if you go do the thing. It could be laughing with your kids or your grandkids.

00:20:07.130 --> 00:20:15.470

Tamara Zoner: I remember one of the first times that I had fun with my kids again after I left my marriage.

00:20:15.970 --> 00:20:21.470

Tamara Zoner: We lived up on a hill with my parents where I was raised. And so we would sled

00:20:21.470 --> 00:20:23.330

Tamara Zoner: to the bus stop in the winter.

00:20:26.270 --> 00:20:33.310

Tamara Zoner: And it was so much fun. And I remember laughing as the sled was spinning around and around.

00:20:33.510 --> 00:20:37.570

Tamara Zoner: And the four of us were going down, you know, a few times because we had time while we waited.

00:20:37.910 --> 00:20:44.110

Tamara Zoner: And I remember laughing so hard and thinking, oh, my God, I'm having fun with my kids.

00:20:44.110 --> 00:20:54.110

Tamara Zoner: I hadn't had fun in years and it was total abandon and joy and we're all meant

00:20:54.110 --> 00:20:57.130

Tamara Zoner: to experience that at least sometimes.

00:20:59.996 --> 00:21:05.876

Tamara Zoner: So to tune in to like, oh, what? Okay, right now nothing makes me feel alive, but what did?

00:21:06.616 --> 00:21:13.316

Tamara Zoner: What did? What did I put away for the shoulds that maybe I could pull out for five minutes today?

00:21:13.816 --> 00:21:14.296

Kevin Lowe: Yeah.

00:21:14.596 --> 00:21:14.876

Tamara Zoner: Yeah.

00:21:15.036 --> 00:21:21.436

Kevin Lowe: I love that so much. So in this kind of journey that you're taking us on,

00:21:21.676 --> 00:21:25.216

Kevin Lowe: and I don't know if I'm going to skip too far ahead with this question,

00:21:25.216 --> 00:21:30.956

Kevin Lowe: but I'm kind of curious is, so when did you become the lady? around happiness.

00:21:32.416 --> 00:21:38.236

Tamara Zoner: So during COVID, so COVID hit my senior community and suddenly we were actually

00:21:38.236 --> 00:21:41.836

Tamara Zoner: the first senior community in Michigan to have a positive COVID case.

00:21:41.956 --> 00:21:44.816

Tamara Zoner: And I found out about it the day I went into work.

00:21:46.096 --> 00:21:49.976

Tamara Zoner: And so, yeah, I laugh because that's my defense mechanism, right?

00:21:50.156 --> 00:21:56.556

Tamara Zoner: So I get to work, we're on lockdown, all the residents who usually it's my job

00:21:56.556 --> 00:22:01.476

Tamara Zoner: to bring them together in groups are now isolated in their apartments.

00:22:02.396 --> 00:22:06.016

Tamara Zoner: And one of them wanders down kind of confused.

00:22:06.176 --> 00:22:09.236

Tamara Zoner: It's independent living, but that didn't mean that everybody was like,

00:22:09.416 --> 00:22:11.656

Tamara Zoner: you know, 100% cognitively functioning.

00:22:12.456 --> 00:22:14.656

Tamara Zoner: One of the residents came down, was confused.

00:22:16.056 --> 00:22:19.276

Tamara Zoner: And he was like, why do I have to be in my apartment?

00:22:19.556 --> 00:22:23.036

Tamara Zoner: And so I just said, let me escort you back to your room and I'll,

00:22:23.036 --> 00:22:24.496

Tamara Zoner: I'll explain it on the way.

00:22:24.836 --> 00:22:29.076

Tamara Zoner: And so as I was walking him back to his apartment, you know,

00:22:29.216 --> 00:22:32.076

Tamara Zoner: we didn't have any personal protection gear yet.

00:22:32.296 --> 00:22:39.096

Tamara Zoner: We didn't know much at all about this COVID thing because it was March 17th of 2020.

00:22:39.596 --> 00:22:43.796

Tamara Zoner: And it was all new and none of us really knew anything. And he was coughing.

00:22:44.296 --> 00:22:48.696

Tamara Zoner: And so I'm trying to stay six feet away from him, like the news said to,

00:22:49.616 --> 00:22:53.696

Tamara Zoner: But I'm walking a resident, you know, up to his apartment.

00:22:54.116 --> 00:22:57.156

Tamara Zoner: I have to take an elevator with him because he can't do the stairs.

00:22:58.394 --> 00:23:03.094

Tamara Zoner: To the third floor. And that was a Monday. And by Friday, I had symptoms.

00:23:04.414 --> 00:23:06.354

Tamara Zoner: Two weeks later, that resident passed away.

00:23:06.554 --> 00:23:07.134

Kevin Lowe: Oh, wow.

00:23:07.694 --> 00:23:12.074

Tamara Zoner: Yeah. And because it was so new, of course, I didn't go to work.

00:23:12.234 --> 00:23:15.034

Tamara Zoner: I didn't know. They weren't giving tests to young, healthy people.

00:23:15.454 --> 00:23:17.954

Tamara Zoner: So I had a fever. I wasn't going to work.

00:23:18.834 --> 00:23:24.494

Tamara Zoner: So I had some time. I had still been coaching and doing the passion testing on the side now and then.

00:23:24.974 --> 00:23:28.574

Tamara Zoner: And it was still in my heart that that's what I wanted to be doing full-time.

00:23:28.854 --> 00:23:34.914

Tamara Zoner: But I was struggling, too, to find a way to make it more accessible to people.

00:23:35.134 --> 00:23:36.634

Tamara Zoner: Passion is kind of airy-fairy.

00:23:37.034 --> 00:23:41.234

Tamara Zoner: And people think, oh, well, yes, but I'm supposed to be doing this other stuff.

00:23:41.354 --> 00:23:42.354

Tamara Zoner: So I have responsibilities.

00:23:42.834 --> 00:23:46.294

Tamara Zoner: Passion is a luxury. That is not true, my friends. Nevertheless,

00:23:46.734 --> 00:23:49.054

Tamara Zoner: I honor that belief when it's out there.

00:23:49.294 --> 00:23:53.854

Tamara Zoner: But there was this happiness training. I had read the book, Happy for No Reason.

00:23:54.634 --> 00:23:59.194

Tamara Zoner: Years ago, as I was trying to find my way back to myself and gain that courage

00:23:59.194 --> 00:24:00.714

Tamara Zoner: and confidence to leave my marriage.

00:24:01.374 --> 00:24:05.994

Tamara Zoner: And I had seen Marcy Shymoff in the movie, The Secret, which is really a one-on-one

00:24:05.994 --> 00:24:07.054

Tamara Zoner: don't take it to heart people.

00:24:07.334 --> 00:24:12.414

Tamara Zoner: It's just a primer about, you know, manifestation and changing your life and

00:24:12.414 --> 00:24:14.054

Tamara Zoner: creating what you want and all of that.

00:24:14.554 --> 00:24:23.394

Tamara Zoner: And her ads kept popping up in my feed and in my email while I was sick from COVID.

00:24:25.354 --> 00:24:28.754

Tamara Zoner: So I clicked the links as you do.

00:24:28.994 --> 00:24:32.814

Tamara Zoner: And there was her training, her happiness, happy for no reason,

00:24:32.974 --> 00:24:34.914

Tamara Zoner: certification training to become a happiness trainer.

00:24:35.094 --> 00:24:40.714

Tamara Zoner: And I, it all just made sense to me. This was a really science backed approach

00:24:40.714 --> 00:24:45.294

Tamara Zoner: to happiness where she had interviewed experts in the field.

00:24:45.294 --> 00:24:49.854

Tamara Zoner: She had interviewed the happiest people she knew. And then she'd taken all of

00:24:49.854 --> 00:24:55.914

Tamara Zoner: it, science plus personal stories, and put it together in one place with happy for no reason.

00:24:56.154 --> 00:25:02.034

Tamara Zoner: So I went through her training. And I love it so much because it is really grounded in research.

00:25:02.254 --> 00:25:08.174

Tamara Zoner: And I'm a Capricorn, and I'm an academic, and I like grounded scientific research

00:25:08.174 --> 00:25:11.974

Tamara Zoner: and evidence paired with anything is possible.

00:25:12.874 --> 00:25:14.714

Tamara Zoner: Manifestation, we can create what we want.

00:25:16.174 --> 00:25:19.634

Tamara Zoner: So I decided to go through

00:25:19.634 --> 00:25:22.474

Tamara Zoner: that training and then I as we opened up a

00:25:22.474 --> 00:25:27.214

Tamara Zoner: little bit more and more and residents whenever there was were no cases of COVID

00:25:27.214 --> 00:25:30.994

Tamara Zoner: in the building then I could have small groups together I could have up to 10

00:25:30.994 --> 00:25:36.254

Tamara Zoner: residents at a time in this large lecture room that we had all spaced out but

00:25:36.254 --> 00:25:40.754

Tamara Zoner: I couldn't hire anybody and one of our our pillars was lifelong learning,

00:25:41.334 --> 00:25:45.134

Tamara Zoner: And so normally I had art lectures and history lectures and all these wonderful

00:25:45.134 --> 00:25:50.434

Tamara Zoner: things and people come in, but nobody could come in. So I started giving happiness lectures.

00:25:52.353 --> 00:25:57.193

Tamara Zoner: I thought, why not practice on them to practice my own speaking skills,

00:25:57.333 --> 00:26:02.013

Tamara Zoner: to really learn this material and the research and, and then share something that could work.

00:26:02.113 --> 00:26:07.713

Tamara Zoner: Why have I been keeping my coaching self so separate from my director of life

00:26:07.713 --> 00:26:11.973

Tamara Zoner: enrichment self when really it's all me and it's all good for them.

00:26:12.153 --> 00:26:19.033

Tamara Zoner: So I started giving these lectures and almost all of my 130 residents eventually went through it.

00:26:19.213 --> 00:26:22.573

Tamara Zoner: I taught it week after week, after week, after week, after week.

00:26:22.973 --> 00:26:27.353

Tamara Zoner: And I had multiple residents tell me that I changed their lives.

00:26:28.393 --> 00:26:35.253

Tamara Zoner: One specifically who said, Tamara, I've been so depressed and I didn't like

00:26:35.253 --> 00:26:38.373

Tamara Zoner: the way medicine made me feel. I didn't like taking the pills.

00:26:38.613 --> 00:26:42.413

Tamara Zoner: I couldn't see a way out of my depression, but you gave me a way out.

00:26:44.233 --> 00:26:47.493

Tamara Zoner: Through practicing skills of happiness.

00:26:47.573 --> 00:26:53.413

Tamara Zoner: And I thought, oh my gosh, I can't just keep this in the doors of the senior community.

00:26:53.753 --> 00:27:00.393

Tamara Zoner: It's time for me to go full-time. And now I felt like I had a tangible way to reach more people.

00:27:00.633 --> 00:27:04.733

Tamara Zoner: And I also had another really good tax return.

00:27:06.013 --> 00:27:10.533

Tamara Zoner: So I had a little bit of a cushion that would get me through a few months of

00:27:10.533 --> 00:27:12.273

Tamara Zoner: not having a steady paycheck.

00:27:13.233 --> 00:27:19.773

Tamara Zoner: And I took the chance. I took the chance because I know now that the how is none of my business.

00:27:20.033 --> 00:27:25.833

Tamara Zoner: My attention is to be on the what I want to create. And then I take action toward it.

00:27:26.253 --> 00:27:30.653

Tamara Zoner: And the how shows up. That's the inspiration part, right? I've got the grit.

00:27:31.673 --> 00:27:39.333

Tamara Zoner: There's some grace involved. And then I take inspired action and life unfolds better and better.

00:27:39.813 --> 00:27:43.973

Tamara Zoner: And that doesn't mean it's without challenges or hard times or frustrating moments.

00:27:43.973 --> 00:27:48.513

Tamara Zoner: But that's why I love this practice of happiness so much.

00:27:48.613 --> 00:27:56.053

Tamara Zoner: Because if we simply tap into checking our mindsets, questioning our thoughts, this is huge.

00:27:56.193 --> 00:28:00.193

Tamara Zoner: Most people don't. We have 60,000 thoughts a day on average.

00:28:00.893 --> 00:28:04.693

Tamara Zoner: 95% of them are repeated day after day after day. I'm stuck.

00:28:04.793 --> 00:28:07.153

Tamara Zoner: I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I can't, I can't, I can't.

00:28:07.593 --> 00:28:13.093

Tamara Zoner: 80% of them are negative. But if we take a breath and create the space to question

00:28:13.093 --> 00:28:14.273

Tamara Zoner: those thoughts, is that true?

00:28:15.393 --> 00:28:17.533

Tamara Zoner: What does that belief serve me?

00:28:18.693 --> 00:28:22.893

Tamara Zoner: What I'm thinking negative, all these negatives, like what are some positives?

00:28:23.013 --> 00:28:26.013

Tamara Zoner: What's actually good in my life right now? We turn to a little bit of gratitude.

00:28:26.093 --> 00:28:27.713

Tamara Zoner: We start practicing that.

00:28:28.193 --> 00:28:32.533

Tamara Zoner: And slowly we shift toward more authentically positive.

00:28:34.124 --> 00:28:34.584

Kevin Lowe: Hmm.

00:28:35.224 --> 00:28:39.204

Tamara Zoner: I don't believe in fake it. I don't believe in fake or toxic positivity.

00:28:39.484 --> 00:28:42.864

Tamara Zoner: I believe that you, every one of us has something good in our lives,

00:28:43.044 --> 00:28:44.924

Tamara Zoner: no matter how hard it feels right now.

00:28:45.404 --> 00:28:51.344

Tamara Zoner: And if we can just put more attention on that, then that's what grows stronger.

00:28:51.504 --> 00:28:59.504

Tamara Zoner: That feeling, that open path, that what can I do instead of what can't I do?

00:29:00.084 --> 00:29:02.144

Tamara Zoner: That's how we make changes in our lives.

00:29:02.384 --> 00:29:05.884

Kevin Lowe: Wow. You referenced the term like skill.

00:29:06.464 --> 00:29:17.444

Kevin Lowe: Now, do you view happiness itself is a skill or that there's skills involved to achieve happiness?

00:29:18.184 --> 00:29:23.104

Tamara Zoner: Yeah, there are skills involved in experiencing happiness.

00:29:23.104 --> 00:29:27.144

Tamara Zoner: And I don't think it's anything anyone has to achieve because if you really

00:29:27.144 --> 00:29:31.264

Tamara Zoner: look at your life, your day, you've had some moments of happiness, right?

00:29:31.264 --> 00:29:37.984

Tamara Zoner: It's not someplace to get to, but there are practical skills that help us build

00:29:37.984 --> 00:29:43.904

Tamara Zoner: feelings of happiness so that we feel more content,

00:29:44.304 --> 00:29:51.144

Tamara Zoner: more joy, happier, more often than we feel that the stuff we want to avoid,

00:29:51.384 --> 00:29:55.204

Tamara Zoner: the negatives, but it's all important, right? It's all part of this human experience.

00:29:55.724 --> 00:30:01.064

Tamara Zoner: And one of the things that I love to teach people is how to actually gently

00:30:01.064 --> 00:30:06.524

Tamara Zoner: lean into those uncomfortable feelings that we don't want to have and to honor

00:30:06.524 --> 00:30:09.284

Tamara Zoner: those too, because that's where we can grow.

00:30:09.644 --> 00:30:16.964

Tamara Zoner: You know, if we talk everything under the rug, it gets pretty lumpy and suddenly

00:30:16.964 --> 00:30:18.904

Tamara Zoner: it hurts to walk over that part of the floor.

00:30:19.464 --> 00:30:21.644

Tamara Zoner: Eventually, we're going to have to do something.

00:30:22.544 --> 00:30:29.264

Tamara Zoner: If we are willing and courageous enough to start to gently lean into any uncomfortable

00:30:29.264 --> 00:30:32.104

Tamara Zoner: emotion, then we never are sweeping stuff under the rug.

00:30:32.564 --> 00:30:37.324

Tamara Zoner: There's no big, big cleaning job that needs to happen because we're maintaining.

00:30:38.704 --> 00:30:42.044

Kevin Lowe: Wow. I love it so very much.

00:30:42.044 --> 00:30:48.144

Kevin Lowe: The whole thing of happiness, I guess the next thing is, is we continue to pick

00:30:48.144 --> 00:30:56.884

Kevin Lowe: your mind around this whole thing of happiness is we, we talked earlier about fun, but what about,

00:30:57.164 --> 00:31:02.024

Kevin Lowe: is there a difference do you feel between say happiness,

00:31:02.484 --> 00:31:04.104

Kevin Lowe: fun, and joy? Yeah.

00:31:05.065 --> 00:31:06.765

Kevin Lowe: Or are they all one in the same?

00:31:07.405 --> 00:31:12.005

Tamara Zoner: I think they're all linked. I think that they're all variations of happiness

00:31:12.005 --> 00:31:13.445

Tamara Zoner: or contentedness, right?

00:31:13.705 --> 00:31:23.105

Tamara Zoner: So we can be overarchingly happy, but not necessarily feeling big moments of joy every moment.

00:31:23.565 --> 00:31:26.405

Tamara Zoner: Or we could feel content, right?

00:31:26.525 --> 00:31:31.585

Tamara Zoner: Like the definition that I still use today for happiness comes from Marcy Shymoff's

00:31:31.585 --> 00:31:35.545

Tamara Zoner: book, Happy for No Reason. And it is an inner sense of peace and well-being

00:31:35.545 --> 00:31:37.745

Tamara Zoner: that doesn't depend on circumstances.

00:31:38.045 --> 00:31:41.685

Tamara Zoner: So this inner sense of peace and well-being. And that doesn't mean we're always

00:31:41.685 --> 00:31:44.985

Tamara Zoner: just like skipping and laughing and having so much fun.

00:31:45.545 --> 00:31:52.665

Tamara Zoner: It also means that sometimes we're just neutrally content, like at ease, fulfilled.

00:31:53.905 --> 00:31:57.325

Tamara Zoner: And when the harder stuff hits

00:31:57.325 --> 00:32:01.185

Tamara Zoner: then we have resources to

00:32:01.185 --> 00:32:04.365

Tamara Zoner: move through them more easily and efficiently than

00:32:04.365 --> 00:32:07.165

Tamara Zoner: maybe we used to maybe we used to get stuck in the

00:32:07.165 --> 00:32:15.085

Tamara Zoner: down the fear the scarcity the lack the pain now if we have practiced the skills

00:32:15.085 --> 00:32:25.305

Tamara Zoner: of happiness we can move through the hard stuff much more quickly and get back to, oh, I'm okay.

00:32:25.525 --> 00:32:30.965

Tamara Zoner: And then when we're in that, I'm okay. It's easier to access feelings of joy.

00:32:31.165 --> 00:32:36.905

Tamara Zoner: It's easier to lean into having some fun. If I'm miserable and I'm stuck there

00:32:36.905 --> 00:32:41.765

Tamara Zoner: and someone invites me to do something fun, I'll probably decline so that I

00:32:41.765 --> 00:32:43.405

Tamara Zoner: can stay in my misery. Right.

00:32:44.805 --> 00:32:46.105

Tamara Zoner: But if I'm,

00:32:47.304 --> 00:32:52.864

Tamara Zoner: fluid in my emotional states and willing to pass through and experience all

00:32:52.864 --> 00:32:56.564

Tamara Zoner: of it, then if someone invites me to something that sounds fun,

00:32:56.724 --> 00:33:00.264

Tamara Zoner: I'm more likely to say, okay, yeah, I'll try that.

00:33:00.984 --> 00:33:07.584

Tamara Zoner: I deserve fun. I welcome fun. A lot of us don't even feel like we deserve to

00:33:07.584 --> 00:33:11.644

Tamara Zoner: be having fun or joy because we should be doing something else.

00:33:13.224 --> 00:33:16.284

Tamara Zoner: So I like to say bite-sized chunks

00:33:16.284 --> 00:33:19.304

Tamara Zoner: are the key to big transformations so baby

00:33:19.304 --> 00:33:22.424

Tamara Zoner: steps create big change so if you

00:33:22.424 --> 00:33:29.444

Tamara Zoner: were feeling like there isn't any fun or you should be doing something responsible

00:33:29.444 --> 00:33:36.624

Tamara Zoner: maybe you just take a bite of a little fun maybe you just uh skip through your

00:33:36.624 --> 00:33:40.464

Tamara Zoner: living room or do I love Monty Python.

00:33:40.744 --> 00:33:45.964

Tamara Zoner: So I had one client to access his sense of fun.

00:33:46.444 --> 00:33:50.284

Tamara Zoner: I invited him every time he had to get up to the... He worked from home.

00:33:50.424 --> 00:33:53.884

Tamara Zoner: So every time he had to get up to go to the bathroom or get a cup of water or

00:33:53.884 --> 00:33:55.564

Tamara Zoner: a snack, he had to do a silly walk.

00:33:58.924 --> 00:34:05.204

Tamara Zoner: That was his assignment for the week. And just something so simple brought him joy in those moments.

00:34:05.384 --> 00:34:08.484

Tamara Zoner: He's getting up grumbling because his workday is hard. But then he's like,

00:34:08.544 --> 00:34:11.664

Tamara Zoner: oh, yeah, I have to do a silly walk. And he does a silly walk as he walks to

00:34:11.664 --> 00:34:13.364

Tamara Zoner: the kitchen. And now he's laughing.

00:34:14.064 --> 00:34:14.264

Kevin Lowe: Yeah.

00:34:14.684 --> 00:34:17.264

Tamara Zoner: It takes no time at all. It's nothing extra.

00:34:18.484 --> 00:34:27.624

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, I love that. Now, do you believe that some people are naturally,

00:34:27.624 --> 00:34:30.764

Kevin Lowe: say, more happier than others?

00:34:30.764 --> 00:34:39.264

Kevin Lowe: And therefore, this whole idea of kind of being happy, having happiness is easier

00:34:39.264 --> 00:34:40.784

Kevin Lowe: for some than it is for others.

00:34:42.605 --> 00:34:45.985

Tamara Zoner: Yes, I actually do. And also the science backs that up.

00:34:46.145 --> 00:34:52.145

Tamara Zoner: So we have what researchers have started calling a happiness set point.

00:34:52.905 --> 00:34:59.165

Tamara Zoner: And if I set my living room thermostat at 70 degrees, no matter how hot or how

00:34:59.165 --> 00:35:01.185

Tamara Zoner: cold it gets outside, it's going to stay at 70.

00:35:01.505 --> 00:35:03.625

Tamara Zoner: Maybe my happiness set point is the same.

00:35:03.965 --> 00:35:05.985

Tamara Zoner: My sister's is lower than mine.

00:35:07.185 --> 00:35:11.525

Tamara Zoner: I think I came in with a pretty high happiness set point, which is why I was

00:35:11.525 --> 00:35:15.485

Tamara Zoner: able to recognize when I was so unhappy and go, wait a second,

00:35:15.485 --> 00:35:16.905

Tamara Zoner: I wasn't always this way.

00:35:17.065 --> 00:35:23.145

Tamara Zoner: So yes, some people have a lower set point than others and it's not fixed.

00:35:23.825 --> 00:35:29.265

Tamara Zoner: We can crank it up. We can turn up the happiness heat through the practices

00:35:29.265 --> 00:35:33.465

Tamara Zoner: and the skills of happiness, through checking your mindset, through opening

00:35:33.465 --> 00:35:35.745

Tamara Zoner: your heart and forgiving instead of holding on to resentment,

00:35:36.165 --> 00:35:39.625

Tamara Zoner: through taking care of your physical body with sleep and food and exercise,

00:35:39.625 --> 00:35:42.965

Tamara Zoner: through all these different seven main areas of happiness.

00:35:42.965 --> 00:35:48.365

Tamara Zoner: If we give our attention and start taking care of ourselves in those areas,

00:35:48.365 --> 00:35:50.085

Tamara Zoner: those are the skills we practice, right?

00:35:50.245 --> 00:35:54.585

Tamara Zoner: We actually can change our neurology to be happier.

00:35:54.765 --> 00:35:58.425

Tamara Zoner: So we create neural pathways every time we do something new and we strengthen

00:35:58.425 --> 00:36:01.005

Tamara Zoner: those neural pathways every time we repeat something.

00:36:01.245 --> 00:36:06.645

Tamara Zoner: So most of us have really, really strong negative neural pathways, right?

00:36:06.965 --> 00:36:11.605

Tamara Zoner: And that served us. That's why we evolved into this cozy, comfy civilization

00:36:11.605 --> 00:36:15.445

Tamara Zoner: that most of us experience instead of living in caves and on rocks and running

00:36:15.445 --> 00:36:16.545

Tamara Zoner: away from saber-toothed tigers.

00:36:17.759 --> 00:36:21.079

Tamara Zoner: We were aware of the dangers, the brain pays attention to them so we can get

00:36:21.079 --> 00:36:22.859

Tamara Zoner: away from them fast or avoid them in the future.

00:36:23.159 --> 00:36:28.479

Tamara Zoner: Our brain hasn't evolved like civilization has. So our brain is still reacting

00:36:28.479 --> 00:36:30.079

Tamara Zoner: as if everything's an emergency.

00:36:30.719 --> 00:36:35.819

Tamara Zoner: And if we do nothing, if we just sleepwalk through life, like I think a lot

00:36:35.819 --> 00:36:38.539

Tamara Zoner: of people do, then that's how we'll live.

00:36:39.479 --> 00:36:45.619

Tamara Zoner: But if we take action to create more conscious awareness in our lives,

00:36:45.739 --> 00:36:50.699

Tamara Zoner: in ourselves, then we can say, well, wait, I'm actually going to practice the

00:36:50.699 --> 00:36:53.839

Tamara Zoner: skill of paying attention to what's good around me.

00:36:53.979 --> 00:36:58.139

Tamara Zoner: So I'm going to stop right now and look around me and find three things that

00:36:58.139 --> 00:36:59.899

Tamara Zoner: are good. Three positives.

00:37:00.359 --> 00:37:04.279

Tamara Zoner: Like the dog is sleeping peacefully. The sun is shining through the window,

00:37:04.459 --> 00:37:06.939

Tamara Zoner: lighting up my plant. And oh, look, my plant has new growth.

00:37:07.139 --> 00:37:08.319

Tamara Zoner: I love that. That's great.

00:37:08.579 --> 00:37:13.599

Tamara Zoner: Three good things right there. strengthening neural pathways toward the positive.

00:37:13.999 --> 00:37:20.439

Tamara Zoner: And what we want to do and what happier people have done is exercise the positive

00:37:20.439 --> 00:37:26.319

Tamara Zoner: neural pathways. We've worked them to strengthen them. So now they're stronger than the negative.

00:37:27.619 --> 00:37:33.499

Kevin Lowe: Amazing. So powerful. I guess I'm listening to you and I'm like,

00:37:33.739 --> 00:37:38.099

Kevin Lowe: wow, I never knew there was so much involved in happiness.

00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:45.259

Tamara Zoner: And I love that awareness because that's the problem. I think most people don't

00:37:45.259 --> 00:37:48.959

Tamara Zoner: realize it's anything we're supposed to work at, but it really is.

00:37:49.059 --> 00:37:53.739

Tamara Zoner: If we want to feel good, we have to put effort forth into feeling good.

00:37:53.879 --> 00:37:59.519

Tamara Zoner: I made a cute little meme one time about it, that misery is easy.

00:37:59.779 --> 00:38:02.059

Tamara Zoner: It's happiness that takes effort.

00:38:03.299 --> 00:38:06.759

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, it is. I agree. I agree 100%.

00:38:06.759 --> 00:38:09.739

Kevin Lowe: Now with all of this

00:38:09.739 --> 00:38:12.519

Kevin Lowe: just bomb of knowledge you've dropped in

00:38:12.519 --> 00:38:19.139

Kevin Lowe: our lap about happiness tell me what exactly are you doing today kind of fast

00:38:19.139 --> 00:38:24.659

Kevin Lowe: forwarding in this journey we we we talked about the last time that you were

00:38:24.659 --> 00:38:28.239

Kevin Lowe: still working with the seniors and then you you realized you had to take this

00:38:28.239 --> 00:38:31.319

Kevin Lowe: show on the road and so where has it led to

00:38:32.325 --> 00:38:37.785

Tamara Zoner: So today I speak and coach almost full-time, however much I want to.

00:38:38.225 --> 00:38:43.765

Tamara Zoner: And I have private clients, group clients. And this year I did my first retreat.

00:38:44.125 --> 00:38:49.085

Tamara Zoner: It was amazing. So I'm repeating it in 2025. In May, 2025, I'll be doing a radiant

00:38:49.085 --> 00:38:53.105

Tamara Zoner: happiness retreat right here in beautiful, pure Michigan.

00:38:53.105 --> 00:38:59.425

Tamara Zoner: And it's something I love to do so much is to really help people build the skills

00:38:59.425 --> 00:39:04.265

Tamara Zoner: to be happier, to be more loving, kind and compassionate to themselves.

00:39:04.665 --> 00:39:10.985

Tamara Zoner: And so that's what I do primarily. I also have recently taken on yoga teacher training.

00:39:11.125 --> 00:39:15.785

Tamara Zoner: I'm a meditation teacher already and I've been doing yoga for the last 30 years

00:39:15.785 --> 00:39:18.125

Tamara Zoner: and I walked into a studio last October.

00:39:18.125 --> 00:39:24.485

Tamara Zoner: It's been just a year and I haven't left since essentially it's around the corner

00:39:24.485 --> 00:39:28.185

Tamara Zoner: from my house. I started doing my meetups there.

00:39:28.525 --> 00:39:33.205

Tamara Zoner: I run their wellness weekends. So I talk about all of these things in a slightly

00:39:33.205 --> 00:39:39.525

Tamara Zoner: longer format, a workshop format, and teach people the skills and actions and habits of happiness.

00:39:40.125 --> 00:39:45.925

Tamara Zoner: And soon I'll be adding yoga to my tool belts for others so that I can teach

00:39:45.925 --> 00:39:52.125

Tamara Zoner: and guide others in movement as well, because that's such a vital part of our well-being.

00:39:52.425 --> 00:39:55.405

Tamara Zoner: I love it so much. So that's how I play, Kevin.

00:39:55.685 --> 00:40:01.005

Tamara Zoner: I get to help people tap into what makes them feel alive and then teach them

00:40:01.005 --> 00:40:04.085

Tamara Zoner: the skills to back it up so that they can actually create a life they love.

00:40:04.225 --> 00:40:06.885

Tamara Zoner: Now, not like 10 years in the future, but today.

00:40:08.325 --> 00:40:14.185

Kevin Lowe: Well, thank you for segwaying perfectly into my next question because you,

00:40:14.545 --> 00:40:19.025

Kevin Lowe: I guess, is it your brand, But it's called A Life You Love Now.

00:40:20.235 --> 00:40:27.275

Kevin Lowe: And what I wanted to ask when I when I read that is, how do you get that?

00:40:27.775 --> 00:40:30.655

Kevin Lowe: How do you how do you get a life that you love?

00:40:30.855 --> 00:40:36.515

Tamara Zoner: You first have to get clear on what that would look like and feel like for you.

00:40:36.735 --> 00:40:42.415

Tamara Zoner: So that's where the passion test comes into play, is identifying what would

00:40:42.415 --> 00:40:45.675

Tamara Zoner: make you feel really good in your life.

00:40:45.835 --> 00:40:48.735

Tamara Zoner: Like, what do you want your relationships to look like? Like relationships with

00:40:48.735 --> 00:40:50.435

Tamara Zoner: others and relationships with self.

00:40:50.875 --> 00:40:54.435

Tamara Zoner: Most important relationship with self. What do you want your environment to

00:40:54.435 --> 00:40:58.435

Tamara Zoner: look like? Your career, your spiritual relationship, your health,

00:40:58.795 --> 00:41:01.095

Tamara Zoner: your well-being, who do you see in the mirror?

00:41:01.235 --> 00:41:03.755

Tamara Zoner: Do you like them or do you want to like them?

00:41:04.315 --> 00:41:09.415

Tamara Zoner: So we start there and you can love your life now.

00:41:09.575 --> 00:41:13.715

Tamara Zoner: This is why I put the, originally I put the now on the end of that because the

00:41:13.715 --> 00:41:18.275

Tamara Zoner: creative the life you love and a life you love wasn't available as a domain.

00:41:18.795 --> 00:41:25.255

Tamara Zoner: So again, I say it's synchronicity at play, but I added the now and that is

00:41:25.255 --> 00:41:26.915

Tamara Zoner: the thing that impacts most people.

00:41:27.115 --> 00:41:31.615

Tamara Zoner: They say, I really loved the now part because it made it really present because

00:41:31.615 --> 00:41:33.095

Tamara Zoner: you can love your life now.

00:41:33.295 --> 00:41:38.675

Tamara Zoner: You don't have to love every part of your life now, but there are parts of your

00:41:38.675 --> 00:41:40.955

Tamara Zoner: life that you probably love now.

00:41:41.235 --> 00:41:48.915

Tamara Zoner: And when we are mired in the misery, it's harder to see those and feel those, the good stuff.

00:41:49.155 --> 00:41:53.475

Tamara Zoner: And so what I want people to know is that all you have to do is start looking

00:41:53.475 --> 00:41:57.655

Tamara Zoner: for it and you'll start to see it and to feel it.

00:41:57.775 --> 00:42:00.315

Tamara Zoner: And so that now means we're not working.

00:42:00.495 --> 00:42:08.215

Tamara Zoner: We are working on future goals when I work with clients and we're experiencing them now, right now.

00:42:08.415 --> 00:42:14.295

Tamara Zoner: You can smile and you can feel the effects of that right now.

00:42:15.329 --> 00:42:22.529

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, I love that so much because that is, it's such a simple word,

00:42:22.669 --> 00:42:28.729

Kevin Lowe: yet it holds such impact of the word now that it can happen right now.

00:42:29.029 --> 00:42:35.409

Kevin Lowe: And I think, if anything, I hope for the person listening today who's maybe

00:42:35.409 --> 00:42:40.289

Kevin Lowe: struggling, that maybe that can give them some hope is that it's not something

00:42:40.289 --> 00:42:43.329

Kevin Lowe: that has to be far off. It can happen right now.

00:42:43.649 --> 00:42:50.209

Kevin Lowe: Yes. Yeah. For somebody who would love to learn more about you and what you

00:42:50.209 --> 00:42:54.409

Kevin Lowe: do and to get plugged in with your world, where can we send them?

00:42:54.529 --> 00:42:57.009

Kevin Lowe: What can we tell them? Give me all the details.

00:42:57.969 --> 00:43:02.309

Tamara Zoner: I play a lot on Facebook and Instagram, so you can find me there.

00:43:02.429 --> 00:43:06.749

Tamara Zoner: And my name is fairly unique. I don't think there's any more than one other

00:43:06.749 --> 00:43:08.149

Tamara Zoner: Tamara's owner in the whole world.

00:43:08.909 --> 00:43:12.169

Tamara Zoner: And she puts everything in Spanish, so that's not me.

00:43:14.549 --> 00:43:18.329

Tamara Zoner: So she probably also pronounces her name differently and you

00:43:18.329 --> 00:43:21.049

Tamara Zoner: can look at tamra's owner.com we'll take you to my website at life

00:43:21.049 --> 00:43:24.469

Tamara Zoner: you love now.com facebook meetup if

00:43:24.469 --> 00:43:27.189

Tamara Zoner: you happen to be local to the detroit metro area i do a

00:43:27.189 --> 00:43:34.809

Tamara Zoner: lot of in-person events i love a good hug so we we meet up a lot in person and

00:43:34.809 --> 00:43:40.249

Tamara Zoner: that's how you can get in touch with me and i do offer a free 30 minute session

00:43:40.249 --> 00:43:44.709

Tamara Zoner: to help people kind of get on their pathway to happiness.

00:43:44.709 --> 00:43:52.989

Tamara Zoner: And you will walk away with a tool today that will help you ask access joy,

00:43:53.329 --> 00:43:57.409

Tamara Zoner: access possibility, access loving your life right now.

00:43:57.829 --> 00:44:00.229

Tamara Zoner: If you're open to it, if you're willing.

00:44:00.909 --> 00:44:05.969

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Amazing. Well, I have just one last question for you today.

00:44:05.969 --> 00:44:12.609

Kevin Lowe: And it's something that I actually thought about while we were talking is say

00:44:12.609 --> 00:44:19.709

Kevin Lowe: that you're working on this yourself about focusing on happiness in creating a happier life.

00:44:20.169 --> 00:44:24.889

Kevin Lowe: How can somebody try to get their

00:44:24.889 --> 00:44:28.749

Kevin Lowe: family involved in this also so that they're not just doing it alone,

00:44:28.749 --> 00:44:35.169

Kevin Lowe: whether they're a single mom and it's their kids or whether it's a couple married and no children?

00:44:35.689 --> 00:44:40.949

Kevin Lowe: Whatever the family dynamic is, is there any advice that you would give to them

00:44:40.949 --> 00:44:43.709

Kevin Lowe: of how to get everybody possibly involved?

00:44:44.429 --> 00:44:48.769

Tamara Zoner: I love that question so much because it is so hard to do it all alone.

00:44:49.907 --> 00:44:55.487

Tamara Zoner: So a couple of different answers for the single parents, get your kids involved,

00:44:56.447 --> 00:44:58.047

Tamara Zoner: invite them to be team players.

00:44:58.227 --> 00:45:03.147

Tamara Zoner: So when I was in all my misery and really realizing that I needed to change

00:45:03.147 --> 00:45:05.287

Tamara Zoner: my life, it was because I was yelling at my kids.

00:45:05.407 --> 00:45:06.667

Tamara Zoner: That was my big indicator of

00:45:06.667 --> 00:45:10.087

Tamara Zoner: I am not okay right now. I'm yelling at these beautiful, precious beings.

00:45:10.627 --> 00:45:13.887

Tamara Zoner: And so one of my first decisions was to stop yelling.

00:45:14.007 --> 00:45:18.327

Tamara Zoner: And when I learned a little bit more, I put my attention on speaking with loving

00:45:18.327 --> 00:45:19.767

Tamara Zoner: kindness to my children.

00:45:20.067 --> 00:45:23.607

Tamara Zoner: And so I asked them to help me with that.

00:45:23.807 --> 00:45:30.887

Tamara Zoner: I said, we're a team and I am trying to, to be kinder and to respond slower

00:45:30.887 --> 00:45:34.807

Tamara Zoner: and not react to you guys when I, when something upsets me. So I'm wondering

00:45:34.807 --> 00:45:36.047

Tamara Zoner: if you could help me with that.

00:45:36.327 --> 00:45:41.007

Tamara Zoner: Here's how you can help. So I gave them specific information. Here's how you can help.

00:45:41.507 --> 00:45:44.107

Tamara Zoner: You could actually do what I asked you to do.

00:45:46.847 --> 00:45:49.707

Tamara Zoner: Right kids you could if you see me

00:45:49.707 --> 00:45:53.087

Tamara Zoner: getting frustrated maybe come and give me a hug you know

00:45:53.087 --> 00:45:57.407

Tamara Zoner: whatever i knew would work for me and my my my oldest was so brilliant at that

00:45:57.407 --> 00:46:01.087

Tamara Zoner: she would see me getting upset with a younger sibling and she would come over

00:46:01.087 --> 00:46:08.827

Tamara Zoner: and hug me and it worked every time but if you don't like that then you give

00:46:08.827 --> 00:46:11.847

Tamara Zoner: them different directions a spouse or a partner or a close friend,

00:46:12.027 --> 00:46:16.247

Tamara Zoner: like accountability is so vital for us. This is why coaches are coaches, right?

00:46:16.427 --> 00:46:20.647

Tamara Zoner: We know how hard it is. I know from personal experience, how hard it is to make

00:46:20.647 --> 00:46:23.947

Tamara Zoner: these big changes and stick with them.

00:46:25.196 --> 00:46:30.576

Tamara Zoner: Alone. It's really hard because the brain loves status quo, even if it doesn't feel good.

00:46:30.876 --> 00:46:34.476

Tamara Zoner: So it's very important to have an accountability partner.

00:46:34.556 --> 00:46:37.676

Tamara Zoner: And if it's your spouse or a close friend, or even a colleague,

00:46:37.856 --> 00:46:41.216

Tamara Zoner: you can say, Hey, I'm, I'm working on this.

00:46:41.436 --> 00:46:44.016

Tamara Zoner: Would you like to work on it together?

00:46:44.396 --> 00:46:48.216

Tamara Zoner: But then get specific and make it tangible and measurable.

00:46:48.536 --> 00:46:54.136

Tamara Zoner: So if I say I'm working on noticing more good in my life.

00:46:54.436 --> 00:46:57.056

Tamara Zoner: Okay. That's, that's great. And that's kind of fluffy.

00:46:57.496 --> 00:47:00.536

Tamara Zoner: So here's the action I'd like to take.

00:47:00.836 --> 00:47:06.056

Tamara Zoner: Oh, every day at four o'clock, could we meet and share, uh, three good things

00:47:06.056 --> 00:47:07.116

Tamara Zoner: from our experience today?

00:47:08.636 --> 00:47:12.836

Tamara Zoner: Okay. So like at my dinner table, every night I ask my family and now I have

00:47:12.836 --> 00:47:14.456

Tamara Zoner: a wonderful partner who is healthy.

00:47:15.376 --> 00:47:19.216

Tamara Zoner: What was the best part of your day? And sometimes they struggle to come up with

00:47:19.216 --> 00:47:22.716

Tamara Zoner: something. And sometimes there's an overflow of, oh, how can I choose just one thing?

00:47:22.976 --> 00:47:26.596

Tamara Zoner: But the whole point is to simply put their attention on something good in their

00:47:26.596 --> 00:47:29.236

Tamara Zoner: day. So we go through reflecting on the day.

00:47:29.596 --> 00:47:33.736

Tamara Zoner: Oh, that was good. My friend made me laugh or somebody held the door open for me.

00:47:33.936 --> 00:47:39.796

Tamara Zoner: Or like last night for me, the gatekeeper at the guard house of my kids when

00:47:39.796 --> 00:47:42.996

Tamara Zoner: they're with their dad, he flirted with me and that was super funny and fun.

00:47:43.376 --> 00:47:49.476

Tamara Zoner: So, you know, it was like, oh, why haven't I seen you around before?

00:47:49.956 --> 00:47:52.576

Tamara Zoner: And I was like, I usually come earlier in the day. And he said,

00:47:52.656 --> 00:47:54.796

Tamara Zoner: well, I get off at 10 since you're here late.

00:47:57.016 --> 00:48:01.456

Tamara Zoner: And it was so cute and sweet and fun. So like just noticing the moments of your

00:48:01.456 --> 00:48:05.996

Tamara Zoner: day that are good and sharing it with your partner or friend or accountability

00:48:05.996 --> 00:48:08.696

Tamara Zoner: partner, whoever that is, and deciding together,

00:48:10.072 --> 00:48:14.152

Tamara Zoner: Even if it's just for five minutes a day, you're going to really put your attention

00:48:14.152 --> 00:48:15.612

Tamara Zoner: on the good stuff in your life.

00:48:15.672 --> 00:48:19.152

Tamara Zoner: Or maybe you're at work and you

00:48:19.152 --> 00:48:24.512

Tamara Zoner: say, hey, I'd like to have a five-minute dance party every day at 1.15.

00:48:24.552 --> 00:48:27.412

Tamara Zoner: Are you in? Will you come dance with me?

00:48:28.092 --> 00:48:32.852

Tamara Zoner: And you do that. It can be so easy. And I really, really feel that the smallest

00:48:32.852 --> 00:48:39.972

Tamara Zoner: actions are the most sustainable because we don't overwhelm our system with a big leap,

00:48:40.192 --> 00:48:45.932

Tamara Zoner: it's really hard for our brains to sustain big change all at once.

00:48:45.932 --> 00:48:51.772

Tamara Zoner: We need to take baby steps to allow our whole nervous system to move along at

00:48:51.772 --> 00:48:54.352

Tamara Zoner: a pace that's comfortable for the subconscious mind.

00:48:54.932 --> 00:48:58.632

Tamara Zoner: Its job is to protect us and it doesn't always work out the way we want it.

00:48:58.792 --> 00:49:04.252

Tamara Zoner: So having a partner in transformation is so important.

00:49:04.352 --> 00:49:07.792

Tamara Zoner: So I'd love that you ask that question. Just tell them what you want.

00:49:08.212 --> 00:49:13.432

Tamara Zoner: Ask them if they're on board and then create a daily action together and then

00:49:13.432 --> 00:49:15.612

Tamara Zoner: hold each other accountable in it.

00:49:16.212 --> 00:49:21.832

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. And, you know, what I picked up on was one of the most simplest things

00:49:21.832 --> 00:49:28.772

Kevin Lowe: that we could possibly do is change up the way we frame our questions is it's

00:49:28.772 --> 00:49:31.312

Kevin Lowe: so common when everybody gets home in the evening,

00:49:31.312 --> 00:49:36.892

Kevin Lowe: you say, oh how was your day and we default to all the negative bad stuff that happened

00:49:37.892 --> 00:49:41.032

Kevin Lowe: instead asking hey what was the best part about your day

00:49:42.301 --> 00:49:44.101

Kevin Lowe: It just flips that script in

00:49:44.101 --> 00:49:48.321

Kevin Lowe: the whole conversation and changes the whole mood. And I just love that.

00:49:48.841 --> 00:49:53.661

Tamara Zoner: I love that. That is one of my favorite things. I'll teach people to ask what's

00:49:53.661 --> 00:49:55.401

Tamara Zoner: good with you instead of how are you?

00:49:56.481 --> 00:49:58.781

Kevin Lowe: Yes. Yes. I love it.

00:49:59.001 --> 00:50:02.361

Tamara Zoner: Immediately framed for the positive. And then people are like, what's good with me?

00:50:05.981 --> 00:50:06.701

Tamara Zoner: It's great.

00:50:07.081 --> 00:50:09.941

Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. Well, my goodness. Well, Tamara,

00:50:10.221 --> 00:50:14.981

Kevin Lowe: it has been an absolute pleasure today to get to hear a little bit about your story,

00:50:15.161 --> 00:50:21.801

Kevin Lowe: but also just to get to soak up some of your amazing wisdom around a subject

00:50:21.801 --> 00:50:26.381

Kevin Lowe: that's so simple, yet so important of happiness.

00:50:27.221 --> 00:50:32.481

Kevin Lowe: And it has been an absolute joy to have you. And so thank you.

00:50:33.181 --> 00:50:38.041

Tamara Zoner: You're so welcome. Thanks for having me. I truly believe that this feeling of

00:50:38.041 --> 00:50:40.321

Tamara Zoner: happiness is accessible to everyone.

00:50:40.581 --> 00:50:44.841

Tamara Zoner: And sometimes it just takes some practice and someone to light the way and say,

00:50:44.881 --> 00:50:48.361

Tamara Zoner: it's possible for you. I know it because I've been miserable.

00:50:48.481 --> 00:50:52.121

Tamara Zoner: And now I'm one of the happiest people I know. And you can be too.

00:50:52.581 --> 00:50:56.201

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. Well, for you listening today,

00:50:56.201 --> 00:51:01.541

Kevin Lowe: if you would love to learn more about this amazing woman, And be sure to check

00:51:01.541 --> 00:51:06.001

Kevin Lowe: out today's show notes, where I will leave all the links to everything she mentioned

00:51:06.001 --> 00:51:08.081

Kevin Lowe: so that you can get plugged into her world.

00:51:08.681 --> 00:51:14.721

Kevin Lowe: And hey, if nothing else, I hope you heard today's episode and maybe put a smile

00:51:14.721 --> 00:51:17.601

Kevin Lowe: on your face and maybe try that today.

00:51:17.941 --> 00:51:21.581

Kevin Lowe: Walk around with a smile. People are going to look at you weird and ask what's

00:51:21.581 --> 00:51:25.421

Kevin Lowe: wrong with you, but maybe they also will start smiling.

00:51:25.941 --> 00:51:31.461

Kevin Lowe: And maybe we can start in kind of infecting the world with a little bit of goodness,

00:51:31.741 --> 00:51:34.201

Kevin Lowe: a little happiness. I think it would go a long way.

00:51:34.701 --> 00:51:39.181

Kevin Lowe: So until next episode, I'm Kevin Lowe. And of course, this was another episode

00:51:39.181 --> 00:51:40.841

Kevin Lowe: of Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

00:51:40.720 --> 00:52:00.050

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#367: From Emotional Abuse to Unshakable Joy: A Science-Backed Guide to Finding True Happiness with Tamara Zoner

#367: From Emotional Abuse to Unshakable Joy: A Science-Backed Guide to Finding True Happiness with Tamara Zoner

Do You Need a Mental Health & Happiness Boost?

Your Happiness Resources:

An Inspiring Story of Finding Happiness

Your Happiness Roadmap:

Make Your Happiness a Priority!

Today’s Inspiring Guest

Hey, it's Kevin!

Show Notes

Do You Need a Mental Health & Happiness Boost?

Your Happiness Resources:

An Inspiring Story of Finding Happiness

Your Happiness Roadmap:

Make Your Happiness a Priority!

Today’s Inspiring Guest

Hey, it's Kevin!

Stay Awesome! Live Inspired!

Show Transcript

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Overcoming the Unthinkable: How Kevin Lowe Turned Blindness into Purpose, Impact, & Inspiration

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