Show Transcript

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Did you know that research shows that if you wake up in the morning and say

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to yourself that I want to be happy today, that you will become unhappy?

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Yeah, let me say that again. Research shows that if you wake up and say to yourself

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that today I want to be happy, that you will actually become unhappy.

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Happy. The reason for this?

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Well, it's because we've been chasing after this idea of being happy.

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And in reality, it's like trying to catch a shooting star.

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It's just not going to happen. But today, I'm going to share with you a whole

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new way to look at happiness.

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I'm going to break it down into five parts, five easy actions that you can do every day.

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And when repeated, needed, guess what happens?

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You will become happy.

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Today is a masterclass on happiness. Today is episode 289.

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What's up, my friend, and welcome to Grit Graceland Inspiration.

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I am your host, Kevin Lowe. 20 years ago, I awoke from a life-saving surgery

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only to find that I was left completely blind.

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And since that day, I've learned a lot about life, a lot about living, and a lot about myself.

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And here on this podcast, I want to share those insights with you.

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Because friend, if you are still searching for your purpose,

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still trying to understand why, or still left searching for that next right

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path to take, we'll consider this to be your stepping stone to get you from

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where you are to where you want to be.

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As a podcast host, you probably assume that I I also enjoy listening to podcasts

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in addition to recording them.

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And if you thought that, well, you are indeed correct.

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And I was recently listening to one of my go-to podcasts, and that is the Mel Robbins podcast.

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And in this particular episode, she had interviewed the number one expert on happiness.

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His name is Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. And the insights that he had to share about happiness,

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they absolutely blew me away to the point that I actually went back,

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re-listened to the entire interview again, but this time I took a bunch of notes

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because, well, I thought to myself, if I'm this blown away,

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then I guarantee my audience would be as well.

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So today I'm going to share some of my biggest takeaways from that interview. you.

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I'm also going to encourage you to go listen to the interview yourself,

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which there will be a link left in today's show notes that will take you directly to that episode.

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But today, we are going to explore what I took away from that episode about

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how you can achieve happiness.

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At the start of today's episode, I gave you this crazy fact that research shows

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that if you wake up and say that you want to be happy, that you'll actually

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end up being unhappy. happen.

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Well, I want to give you an analogy of exactly what this means.

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When you walk outside, it's a sunny day. Are you able to look up at the sun

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and see every detail of it?

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No, you're probably not because, well, if you stare directly at the sun,

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it's going to burn your eyes.

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You're going to be unable to see it.

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But you know how you can see the sunlight? You use a prism And the sunlight

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hitting that prism, it will break the sunlight into all the different colors of the rainbow.

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And that way, you can see the sun just now indirectly.

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Happiness actually works the exact same way.

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One thing that I found very fascinating, before I continue, is the fact that Dr.

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Tal Ben-Shahar, he likes to reference the definition of happiness as stated by Helen Keller.

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And that is that happiness is wholeness.

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So, focusing on this idea of happiness equaling wholeness, we're going to focus

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on five key areas of happiness that make up the acronym SPIRE.

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Now, each letter in the word SPIRE, it is one element that is going to have

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you achieving a life of happiness.

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The first is spiritual wellness. The second is your physical wellness.

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The third is intellectual.

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The fourth is relational well-being.

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And the last is emotional well-being. You could pretty much say that those are

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the metaphorical colors of the rainbow that make up happiness.

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So if you go back to that example of the sun, think of happiness as the sun

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shining light. and you use a prism to break it up into its colors.

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And when it does, it breaks up into those five different elements.

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So I'm about to give you some tactics, some real world examples of what this

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would look like in your life.

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Because again, you're no longer gonna wake up in the morning and say to yourself

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that today I'm going to be happy because we know that doesn't work.

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Research tells us it doesn't work. And you've probably found it doesn't work already in your life.

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But instead, if we wake up and we focus on these five key areas and be sure

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that we achieve each of them each day, lo and behold,

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you'll probably find yourself starting to wake up and imagine that feeling happy.

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For the tactical application of this acronym SPIRE, I want you to think of small

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incremental changes in your day.

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I don't know if you ever read the book Atomic Habits, but that's basically what we're talking about.

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These small little things that by themselves seem totally insignificant,

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but when done together and done over a period of time, the results are magnificent.

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And in this case, the results are you getting to be happy.

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I'm going to give you some guidelines, but the fact is true is I want you to

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experiment with each of them.

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If something you do makes you happier, well, then do more of it.

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I just want you to realize that all these small little changes,

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they can equal a big impact in your life.

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So I said that the first letter INSPIRE stands for spiritual well-being.

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So what does that look like in your day-to-day application?

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It could be as simple as you taking one minute,

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yes, just one minute to meditate, one minute to pray, one minute to do something

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spiritual, something that connects to a source bigger than you.

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Now, I didn't say one hour. I didn't say half the day. No, I just said one single minute.

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Now, the second aspect is physical well-being.

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And if you're thinking that he's telling me I got to go to the gym, no, I'm actually not.

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Because, well, most of us realize that gym memberships are a total waste of

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money because we never go.

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Instead, we're focusing on small actions to equal big results.

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Results so think of how you

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can do a single exercise for

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30 seconds whether it's sit-ups pull-ups jogging up the stairs whatever it is

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do it for 30 seconds that's it now maybe over time you get to where three times

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a day you can do that exercise or a different exercise for just 30 seconds.

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And at the end, well, you've just got an awesome, amazing workout in just three

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sections of your day of 30 seconds each.

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Again, minimal effort is what we're talking about.

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When I talk about intellectual well-being, I am talking about you learning something

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new, expanding your mind.

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So what this could look like is, well, learning something new online or better

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than being online, in my opinion, is talk to somebody.

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Learn more about somebody.

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Somebody who you know knows a lot about a subject. Well, ask them about it.

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If you're interested in it, learn a little more.

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That's what we're talking about with intellectual well-being.

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Because, well, the fact is true. Those who are curious live longer. though.

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Now, relational well-being, that's as simple as a hug.

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Being sure that you tell your family, your spouse, I love you before you walk out the door.

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Or it's maybe you sending your spouse a text message in the middle of the day

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simply to say, I love you.

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And I feel like this relational well-being is so vitally important because studies

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show that the number one predictor of unhappiness is loneliness.

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And well, it kind of makes sense if I think about it.

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So I encourage you to really focus on this relational well-being,

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whether it's with friends, with its family, with your spouse,

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whoever it is, you got to have people in your life.

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Interact with them, be with them. It will make a big difference in the end.

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Here's something else, though, before I move on is when we talk about relational

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well-being, I want you to remember that it's not just being around friends that matters.

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No, it's being present when you are around your friends.

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How many times does it happen that you or somebody you know,

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you guys go out to dinner and somebody, if not everybody, is on their own phone.

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Yeah, they're trying to be part of the conversation, but they're also distracted

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by whatever they're scrolling on their phone with.

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That is not a good practice of relational well-being.

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I encourage you, if that is you, to put away that phone, to not pull it out, to not start scrolling.

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It's become such a ridiculous habit that we all are guilty of that,

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to be quite honest, it's really quite sad and it's really scary how quickly

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we've adopted this horrible habit.

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So I want you to remember, it's all about being present in the moment.

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And that's really the fact about everything we're talking about today,

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is being present in the moment.

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Yeah, it's important to think about tomorrow, to plan for the future,

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but it's even more important for you to be present right now.

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Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, he used an amazing example of what this is like when we

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are out and about out with friends,

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talking with them while on our phone, is he said it's basically the equivalent

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of you putting on your favorite song on the radio and you turn it up loud.

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You then put on your second favorite song and you turn it up loud also.

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You now have what were your favorite songs, both playing at the same time,

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which equals horrible noise.

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You can't make out one song from the other and you just want it to stop.

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Well, that's basically what's going on in your mind each time you are not focused on the here and now.

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So use that as a really good visualization of exactly what this looks like going on in your head.

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And if you're like me, the thoughts of two of my favorite songs blaring at the

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same time, that does not sound very appealing.

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The final aspect of Spire is emotional well-being.

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This can look like you being sure that you give gratitude.

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It's amazing to write it down. I encourage you maybe at the end of each day

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to pull out a journal and write down five things that you are grateful for that day.

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I want you to get in the practice of of being true with your emotions,

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with this act of gratitude.

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And what's powerful about writing it down is, well, sometimes it helps to get stuff out of our head.

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Sometimes we hold stuff in without even realizing it.

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And just by being able to release it, you'll already feel so much better.

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All of those different activities are what he referred to as MVI,

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minimal viable intervention.

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Intervention what is the minimal thing

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that you have to do that's going to make an impact it's mvi what can you do

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for each of those elements each day that are going to end up making a difference

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in your life now i'm going to switch to a real life example because in the interview,

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Mel Robbins asked Dr.

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Tal Ben-Shahar to explain what exactly this looks like in real life application.

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What does his life look like on a day-to-day basis?

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And what he said is really shocking because what he said is nothing life shattering.

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It's not something like, oh my gosh, yes, that's what I need to be doing.

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It's just simple actions. It's the minimal viable intervention.

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Intervention his day-to-day routine well it starts by him meditating when he

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first wakes up that checks off the box of spiritual.

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Then, well, he reads quality stuff. He picks up a good book that he's loved.

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He's learning. He's expanding his mind.

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He then, well, he does real world stuff like taking the kids to school.

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One thing that I thought was amazing is he said on the way to school,

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he always gives his kids one message for the day, one thought,

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one thing that they could do that day that

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can make a difference in both their day and the day of another student.

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I thought this was such an amazing thing to do with your kids.

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Is using that time on the way to school to kind of give them a pep talk for

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the day, to cheer them up, to lift their spirits, and to get them thinking of

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how they can make a difference, not just in their own life,

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but in the life of other students.

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Then after dropping his kids off, well, he goes home and goes to work,

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just like many of you do as well.

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Whether you're working from home or working in an office, you drop the kids

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off at school and then, well, you go to work.

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On his lunch break, he goes to lunch with his wife. The relational well-being, check, check, check.

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How many times do you make an extra effort to go meet your husband,

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your wife, your best friend for lunch?

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If you haven't done it in a while, well, I encourage you to do it,

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to give the week a little extra spark, a little extra bit of being with the

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people we love, because that's what matters so much.

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He then finishes off with checking off the box of that physical well-being by

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doing some yoga in the afternoon.

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What I thought was powerful is the fact that Mel Robbins explained,

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wow, that seems very normal, just like a normal life. And that is true.

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And that is the power of his teachings, is that this doesn't have to be some

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radical change in your life.

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It's just giving focus to each

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of these five areas and you know what when

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you think about it when you hear about his day-to-day schedule

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doesn't it sound like a happy life that's

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what we're trying to achieve here to begin with the last note that i want to

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share with you is in relation to this whole idea of chasing after happiness

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of putting in the work of doing the the things of not just trying to focus on being happy, but no,

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focusing on these five key areas of happiness.

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Remember, the acronym ASPIRE, spiritual, physical, intellectual,

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relational, and emotional well-being.

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You focus on those key areas and your life is going to end up looking like Dr.

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Tal Ben-Shahar, just a happy life.

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And isn't that why we started listening to this episode in the first place.

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And I'll end with this. It's so important when we're talking about these little

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acts to not do what you feel like doing, but to do what you know is going to make a difference.

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Because what is so important is what we do rather than what we feel like doing.

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If we rely on us feeling like doing all these small little acts,

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well, we're going to fail.

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But instead, sometimes you just got to do it. What I told you today,

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I don't think is too much to ask.

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I don't think that any of these five different activities are that massive that

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you have to think to yourself. nope, can't do it. I got too much going on in my life.

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No, we're talking about a minute of meditation.

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We're talking about 30 seconds of exercise.

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We're talking about little things here and there throughout the day to equal happiness.

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My friend, my whole goal with this podcast is to inspire you,

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to empower you, and hopefully to give you some tips to make life a little bit better.

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In today's episode, well, the goal here is to hopefully give you a whole new

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way of looking at happiness.

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And the hope is that, well, by listening, you will indeed become a little bit happier.

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I'm Kevin Lowe. This is Great Grace and Inspiration. If you've enjoyed today's

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episode, I would love it if you would share it with a friend.

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Maybe there's somebody else who you know they could really use to hear this

00:19:27.678 --> 00:19:29.978

information all about happiness.

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Share today's episode with them. And that would be the biggest gift you could

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give me for this podcast, because

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I want this podcast to reach the ears of people all over this world.

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Get out there, get to practicing this idea of Spire, and I will see you next time.

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Music.