Show Transcript

You know those days when you get stuck in that trap of endlessly scrolling through social media and you can't help but find yourself diving into all the posts from that person you grew up with, the kid you went to high school with. And yeah, they got the perfect life now.

They married their high school sweetheart, they got a beautiful family, the perfect career, and meanwhile you're like, what the heck went wrong in my life? Why can't I have their life? Well, my friend, today we are putting the brakes on that comparison trap.

So buckle up, buttercup, because by the end, you'll turn. I wish I was somebody else. Into positive results and action. In your own life, you do not want to be like anyone else.

You just want to be the best version of you. And I'm about to prove it to you. So, my friend, you just stepped foot into what is episode 337. Kevin, I look forward to seeing you inside. Yo.

Are you ready to flip the script on life? Cause those bad days, they're just doors to better days. And that's exactly what we do here at Grit, Grace and Inspiration.

Your host, Kevin Lowe, he's been flipping the script on his own life, turning over 20 years of being completely blind into straight up inspiration, motivation, and encouragement just for you. So kick back, relax, and let me introduce you to your host, Kevin. Hello.

Today we're gonna uncover exactly why it is that we crave to be somebody else. We're also gonna explore something called identity exploration.

And of course, I'm gonna end things with three awesome tactics for you to turn comparison into inspiration. So, my friend, you don't wanna go anywhere, because today we're getting real. Today we're gonna help you out.

If you've listened to more than just one episode of this podcast, you know that I'm a man who loves some examples. And this example, you're just going to have to trust me and roll with me on this one.

It's going to sound a little silly, but I promise I'm going to tie it together where it makes sense. I want you to imagine your identity as a house. Your foundation. Well, that's your principles, your guiding light. The.

The things that you stand true on in your life, the non negotiables. Basically think of the foundation as who you are at the core. Now, the rooms in your house, well, they're constantly changing.

You're constantly painting them a new color. You're constantly changing out the flooring, ripping up the carpet, putting down some tile.

And then when tile is out of style, you're putting down some cool wood flooring you're constantly renovating.

And heck, sometimes you go as far as busting out some walls, making things look totally different inside, AKA inside the house is a lot of times a little bit of chaos, a little bit of mess. But here's where we get stuck.

Because we see other people's houses, their lives, their successes, their beautiful Instagram feed, and we can't help but think, wow, I want that. I want that for my life. And what is wrong with me that I don't have that?

But what we forget to realize is that we're only seeing the exterior of the house. We are not able to see the messy renovations happening inside their home, just like yours.

So the question is, how do we use this desire to be someone else positively? Well, I've got three strategies to help you do just this.

When you wish that you are like someone else, I want you to use your someone else as inspiration, not comparison. What I'm getting at here is the truth is you don't want to be them. No, you want to be yourself.

But there's things about that person that maybe you admire. Certain characteristics, certain traits, certain things that they've achieved in their life.

And so I would love for you to start to ask yourself, what is it about this person that I admire? What about their life do I want? You don't want to be them, you don't want their life.

No, you just recognize that there's aspects of their life that you would like in your own life. Once you recognize that, well, now you have something to work towards, so you have something to start to cultivate in your own life.

It's honestly not that difficult when you really break it down into its basic form. I mentioned earlier about this idea of exploring different identities, or some people call it identity borrowing.

Basically, my friend, this is like trying on a costume. In real life, you watch somebody on stage speaking and you love how they handle themselves. You love just their charisma.

But why don't you try it on for yourself? If you love somebody's sassiness, if you love somebody's cool guy attitude, give it a shot. You only get one chance at this life.

You have an opportunity to be who you want to be. So maybe it's your turn to try on that costume.

If you admire that person, if you find yourself feeling envious of them and their life, well, why not try to adopt it in your life and see how it fits, how it feels? Now, the thing I want you to remember here is I want you to practice a Little self compassion when you're exploring these new identities.

Because it's okay for you to try out these new identities and find that they actually don't fit. They're actually not you.

That's honestly the whole point here, because this is all valuable information into identifying who you really and truly are. Again, you don't want to be like everybody else. No, there's enough of those. The world needs more of you.

And sometimes it takes a little bit of exploring, a little bit of trying on some new identities, taking on some new characteristics to find that, you know what? I actually just really kind of like who I am now. Don't take my word for it. Give it a shot in your life, because you won't ever know unless you try.

And hey, you know what? What's the worst that can happen? You actually find that, whew, I kind of like living like this. And you keep doing it until you don't.

Now, what I want you to remember is that the desire to be someone else, it's not about escaping who you are. It's not about erasing your identity. I instead like to think of it as more about expanding who you are.

Your brain is realizing that there's more potential for my life. So I encourage you to explore it. I'm going to use another beautiful analogy of exactly what I'm trying to say, and that is the caterpillar.

Like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly. This journey, it brings out the truest potential in the caterpillar. That butterfly was always inside of the caterpillar.

The caterpillar was always the butterfly. The process just brought it out.

So the next time that you find yourself thinking that you want to be someone else, I want you to pause and say, you know what? This isn't about escaping who I am, because I'm not meant to be a carbon copy of anyone else.

This is just about me wanting to be sure that I'm showing up to the world in my greatest potential possible. Because you recognize the fact that you're meant for more.

You're made for greatness, and you just want to be sure that you're showing up your best each and every day. So I don't want you to think of it as a negative. I don't want you to think down on yourself. No.

The fact that you recognize things in others that you want or that you admire, it only shows that you're willing to grow. So to wrap up today's episode, I'll remind you of this. Embracing your desire to be different.

It's not about rejecting who you are, but instead it's honestly about loving yourself enough to explore all the opportunities of who you might become. If you don't find some inspiration in that statement, well then, my friend, I encourage you to rewind and listen again.

Because today's entire episode was about you recognizing the fact that you are amazing. That if you find yourself falling into the trap of wishing that you were someone else, wishing that you had someone else's life, well, that's okay.

But there's some things you can do. There's some things you can try. You can figure out what it is about that person that you admire.

You can test out that identity, try it on for size just like you do on Halloween. And of course, I want you to realize that it's a journey. Give yourself some compassion. Be nice to yourself.

Stop beating yourself up on this journey to becoming the best version of.