Show Transcript

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I want to ask you right off the bat, what do you need to hear today?

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Could you use some inspiration from somebody who figured out how to turn pain into purpose?

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What about a story of a woman who went from being hurt to hosting healing retreats?

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And what about a story of that same woman who went from being homeless to housing

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and helping other women?

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And of course, I couldn't fail to mention the fact that this woman,

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the Inspirational Beauty Boss, she's going to teach you what it means to be walking in your faith.

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You are about to meet the absolutely incredible Takiyah LaShawn,

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a woman who is going to blow your mind at her level of positivity,

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at her incredible story of the challenges she's overcome,

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the challenges she still overcomes.

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And yet she is here today with a mission to inspire and empower you.

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My friend, I welcome you to episode 292.

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What's up, my friend? And welcome to Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

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I am your host, Kevin Lowe. 20 years ago, I awoke from a life-saving surgery

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only to find that I was left completely blind.

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And since that day, I've learned a lot about life, a lot about living, and a lot about myself.

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So in here on this podcast, I want to share those insights with you because

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friend, if you are still searching for your purpose, still trying to understand why,

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or still left searching for that next right path to take, we'll consider this

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to be your stepping stone to get you from where you are to where you want to be.

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So listen, I'm putting the PSA out there. It is not too late for you to still

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Find all details and information inside of today's show notes.

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So the Inspirational Beauty Bots is a moniker. It's a name that I go by to describe

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myself. And that came about.

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Maybe about four or five years ago, when people started asking me, you know, what do you do?

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And I kind of would freeze up, not because I didn't want to tell people what

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I did, but God has put my hands to so many amazing things that narrowing it

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down, it was almost like giving that 60 second elevator pitch.

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And so I had to come up with something that encompass everything that I am, that explains it all.

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So the inspirational beauty boss is exactly who I am and what I do.

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I have been in the beauty industry for the last 14 years.

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I'm an entrepreneur with my own line of salons and spas. And I also have launched

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my own brand of beauty products.

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So in the beauty industry, I'm an entrepreneur. So that's where the boss part comes from.

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And then the inspirational part is everything that that ties into that.

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It's the foundation and it's the platform of who I am.

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I use every bit of what I've come from and what God has brought me through.

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And he's blessed me to turn that into business, into entrepreneurship.

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And it's my purpose and it's my calling. And I just for years heard so many

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people say, you're so inspiring.

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You're so inspiring. You inspire me. What you're doing is inspiring.

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So I became the Inspirational Beauty Boss.

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I love it. That is a amazing title to have.

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I think any of us would be proud of that. And so, well, that was really amazing,

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the story behind that, because my next question is trying to figure out where it all began.

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Where does your story, your journey begin that kind of leads up to becoming

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this Inspirational Beauty Boss? Take me back to earlier years and give me an

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idea of where it all begins.

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Yeah, good question. So where my foundation begins would be in my childhood.

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I am not only a survivor and overcomer and a thriver of abuse.

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I have encountered pretty much every form of abuse that there is to have mental,

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emotional, physical, psychological and sexual abuse. And so those are things

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that where my the root of my story starts.

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And I endured many of those things in my childhood and on through my teen years,

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young adult years, and even things that God is still healing me through and

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teaching me to overcome now.

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And that foundation is where my story began.

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It's things that on the outside to the exterior were things that people would

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look at and go, wow, that should have took you out.

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Those things going through not one, not two, but many traumas are things that

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you should have lost your mind.

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You maybe should not be here. Just by statistics, God has allowed me to overcome those things.

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And he taught me to turn that pain into purpose.

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And I had to determine very early on, and I say early on because I knew before

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leaving my parents home, which was the birthplace of the trauma,

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the dysfunctional family.

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I knew very odd that I was not going to allow what I was going through to dictate

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who I was going to become.

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OK, I knew that I did not want to allow the pain of my past to be something

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that I use as an excuse in life to have this self-pity or look down on myself.

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I knew that I wanted more out of my life.

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I knew that when I became a parent, I was going to be the best version of myself that I could be.

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And I also learned very quickly that once I turned that pain into a purpose

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to help other people, because that's where I found my healing and I'm still

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on that healing journey. But that's where I found joy.

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I found joy in linking arms with other women and other people that had come

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from situations where doing things like I was in showing them that,

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you know, hey, I went through that as well.

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But I'm not letting that dictate who I am.

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I'm gonna take that and I'm actually gonna flip it upside down and I'm gonna

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step on that and I'm gonna use that as my platform to propel me into my purpose.

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And as the years went on, I started to turn that purpose into passion and that

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passion into profit, P-R-O-F-I-T.

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And so that's how this became who I have become.

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Hmm. Incredible. I listened to you.

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And the next question I have to ask is, where do you get this,

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this mindset, this amazing, I mean, boss woman spirit?

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Did it come from a role model? Or is this just you through and through?

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Wow. I think I certainly have role models, but in this sense of the term, it's who I am.

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I would say I love how you put that me through and through. It's my heart and

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my heart is rooted in my faith.

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Going through the things that I did, I went through a lot of trauma.

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I had a lot of setbacks. I had a lot of questions.

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God, why and how come? And there was this hurt and this pain and anger.

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But when I really found my relationship and my faith in Christ and with God,

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God loved on me and showed me how to heal those things.

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And he showed me his love and in showing me his love, that did something to my heart.

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And it caused me to have a heart to see people the way that he sees people,

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even in all their brokenness and their mess and their hurt and their trauma.

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I have a heart to see people.

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And so it's just who I am because God is in me and God is love.

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And I also determined I came from some of that abuse that was verbal abuse.

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I was told consistently in my childhood that I would never be anything,

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that I would not amount to anything,

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that I would just turn out to be the single mother on welfare,

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all of these things that I was still a child and didn't even really know what I was being told.

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But again, my mindset, I just knew I'm not those things.

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I'm not going to be those things. I'm going to prove people wrong and show them

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that I am something, that I do have value. you.

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And so I adopted that mindset that the only person that I have to compete with is myself.

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And each day I strive to be a better version of myself. And so it's not, I'm not this superhero.

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I go through things every day. I'm human. Like I tell people,

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you cut me, I'm going to bleed red, just like the next person.

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So I have emotions and feelings and things as well. But I just simply have a

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mentality of, I will not quit.

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I'm not built to quit. I don't know what that means. It's not in me.

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And I believe for me, having children helped to further that because I have

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these lives that I'm responsible for, not just myself.

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So I just never adopted a mentality of, I'm going to quit or give up.

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And while those things that were said to me were intended to put me down,

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they were things that I actually took and said, I'm going to prove you wrong. And I did that.

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You talk a lot about your faith. Where did that begin for you,

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your journey with faith?

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My journey with faith began when I was about 21 years old, 2021 years old.

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I was eight months pregnant with my first child, my daughter,

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and that was, gosh, she's 26 now.

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She's almost 27, which is crazy because I feel like I'm still 25.

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I was eight months pregnant with her.

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She was in in my womb, and I was working as a child care provider at a daycare.

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And the woman that owned the daycare, she invited me to her church.

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And that was my first experience.

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I didn't grow up in church. I didn't grow up in a household where we went to

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church or we talked about God or anything like that.

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So fast forward to me being 20, 21 years old, someone invites me to church and I go.

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And I just remember being encompassed by such this feeling and this desire and

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this drive to accept Christ when the altar call, when it was offered that,

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you know, ask Christ to come into your life.

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I just felt like that was the right thing to do. And I did it.

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And that was the entrance of my walk in faith.

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It took many years to get to the place where I've learned earned relationship

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and cultivating, you know, my faith with God.

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But it was started in that moment when my daughter was, I was eight months pregnant

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with my daughter in the womb and the belly.

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And so now, like I said, that was almost 27 years ago. Yeah.

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Amazing. Wow. Now my next question is before I have us kind of move forward in your, in your story,

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you sound like obviously Obviously, the home that you grew up in was not,

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and I'm just going to assume,

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a loving home, an encouraging home.

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How did you make it not turn out to be what they told you you would be, that mother on welfare?

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How do you feel like you didn't fall victim to your circumstance and instead

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broke outside of it? Yeah.

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So I'm smiling as you say that because I don't know that anybody has ever actually

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asked me that so poignantly.

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And I'm smiling so big because the first thing that comes to mind is I'm stubborn.

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If we want to sum it up in a ball, in a nutshell, I'm stubborn.

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I am going to prove you wrong.

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I am going to prove you that I'm not the negative things. I wouldn't say I'm

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competitive, but I have always been someone that's like.

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If you tell me I can't do that, I'm going to show you I can do it.

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And if you tell me that it can't be done, I'm going to show you it can be done.

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And so I just believe I have always had that as a child.

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And I wouldn't say, you know, it was a very difficult home environment.

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There are times that I recall love and laughter and joy in the home,

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but there are also times that it just turned into discord and dysfunction and no peace.

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And so I just I was stubborn. I just was like, I'm going to you tell me I can't do it. Yes, I can.

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I believe it's Audrey Hepburn.

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She said the word is actually it's not impossible.

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It's I'm possible. impossible.

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And I always see the glass is half full, never empty. Yeah, I love it so much.

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Wow, wow, wow. I love the impossible. No, I'm possible that I've never heard that before. I love it.

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I have it in I have a bunch of affirmations throughout my studio in my home.

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And that's one of them. When you walk in, when people walk in to visit me,

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there's all of these positive affirmations. And that's one of them.

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Wow. That's incredible.

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So back kind of on, on your life, you talked about when, when you were pregnant,

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but give me an idea of, of life from childhood, moving into adulthood,

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what did life kind of go from there?

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Oh, well, you know, Kevin, I was a mess.

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I mean, coming from trauma and abuse, I again, Again, grew up in a two-parent

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home, but my stepfather was my abuser.

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So it was like a two-parent home physically, but lacking all the other aspects of what I needed.

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And so I grew up with...

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Some traits that I had to learn lessons from.

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Like I said, I had to walk out. There was no one there to tell me what was right

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and wrong and those things that were done.

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And really no one there to tell me that, you know, this is the path that you

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should or shouldn't take.

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And so I learned a lot of lessons.

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Like I'm cautious to use the word made a lot of mistakes because I feel like

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it's only a mistake if we don't learn from the lesson, right?

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Like if we We don't learn from it. We're going to keep going through it.

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But looking back over that, I have learned in my life that to be human,

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to be easy on myself, to acknowledge what I've gone through and what I've come from,

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and to also acknowledge all the amazing things God has given me to do and just

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to be easy on myself, as well as give myself that grace to be human.

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And again, to learn those lessons as quickly as possible so I don't have to

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keep going through them again.

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Wow. Yes. Powerful, powerful, powerful.

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Talk to me about some of these these things that you went through,

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because I know at some point and you'll have to fill in the gaps. You were homeless.

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How did that all come about? Yeah. So that's one of the things that happened.

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My children and I, when my son was about four years old, my daughter was about 10 at this time.

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And I had found myself in a relationship.

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I thought I was going to marry this guy. We had a home together.

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He had his business. At this time, I had walked into entrepreneurship.

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I'd started a cleaning company. My daughter was two years old,

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was very successful. I got with someone who I thought we were successful together,

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and he turned out to be physically abusive.

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So it was just that pattern of what I'd come from. I still found myself falling

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into relationships like that.

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And I found myself in this state of deep depression because here I am,

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not only myself being subjected to this, but my children.

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And how do I get out of this? How did I get in the middle of something that

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I said I never would again?

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And I really started to spiral until one day, I actually, God gave me this,

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all I know how to describe it as is this out-of-body experience.

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Like you see in the movies, the action movies going on and then the screen slows

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up and everything's in slow motion and the sound goes away.

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I had an experience like that one day. I was standing in the home.

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And the guy, the gentleman that I was dating at the time engaged to,

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he was really angry with me.

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And he started walking towards me screaming and yelling as if he was going to physically harm me.

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And in that moment, my children were upstairs. Again, my son four, my daughter 10.

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And they ran down and stood on the stairwell. And they're watching this whole

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scene between he and I. All of a sudden, everything slows down like a movie.

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I could see faces, but I couldn't hear voices. I could see actions.

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And I hear the voice of God speak to me and say, look at your son.

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Is this what you want him to think he's supposed to do, how he's supposed to

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treat women? You know, and my son had this look on his face,

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like it just excited him.

00:18:10.583 --> 00:18:14.303

And then I hear, look at your daughter. And my daughter looked terrified and

00:18:14.303 --> 00:18:15.503

she's crying and she's afraid.

00:18:15.783 --> 00:18:19.083

And I hear, is this what you want your daughter to think women are supposed

00:18:19.083 --> 00:18:22.223

to be treated like? And I remember I screamed, no.

00:18:22.443 --> 00:18:27.563

And whoosh, all the sound, everything came back in. And I yelled for my kids,

00:18:27.683 --> 00:18:29.223

come on, come on, come on, let's run, let's go.

00:18:29.503 --> 00:18:34.623

And we ran in our pajamas with no shoes on our feet, left everything behind,

00:18:34.883 --> 00:18:43.023

the cleaning business, the home, vehicles, personal items, just left and ended up homeless.

00:18:43.023 --> 00:18:46.323

Homeless but I walked away with my life I

00:18:46.323 --> 00:18:49.203

walked away with my children seeing that their mom

00:18:49.203 --> 00:18:52.223

was not going to allow them to

00:18:52.223 --> 00:18:55.683

grow up in a environment that

00:18:55.683 --> 00:19:00.123

perpetuated the abuse that I had come from and so in that day I changed the

00:19:00.123 --> 00:19:04.963

trajectory of my children and their mindset my daughter knows you do not allow

00:19:04.963 --> 00:19:09.803

a man to physically hurt harm or endanger you my son knows you do not ever put

00:19:09.803 --> 00:19:13.203

your hand on and physically hurt, harm or endanger a woman.

00:19:13.343 --> 00:19:19.623

And so we ended up homeless. And that actually was one of the most pivotal moments

00:19:19.623 --> 00:19:22.083

in my life because it was tough.

00:19:22.803 --> 00:19:28.263

But it was in that moment that God gave me a clean slate and he put me in the beauty industry,

00:19:28.403 --> 00:19:31.383

which took me through the 14

00:19:31.383 --> 00:19:36.983

year journey of self-esteem and self-love and self-care and women's empowerment

00:19:36.983 --> 00:19:41.403

and becoming the inspirational beauty boss and authoring and publishing six

00:19:41.403 --> 00:19:46.243

books and becoming a talk show host and a podcast host and just so many things

00:19:46.243 --> 00:19:49.563

and sitting here now sharing that testimony and telling this story.

00:19:50.383 --> 00:19:57.583

Wow, wow, wow, wow. Before I get to the question of how do you transition from

00:19:57.583 --> 00:20:03.763

running out of that home to being homeless to all that you just gave us a preview you for.

00:20:04.043 --> 00:20:09.543

I just want to acknowledge one fact that even way back then,

00:20:09.643 --> 00:20:12.143

what an amazing mom you were.

00:20:13.058 --> 00:20:18.938

The fact that the fact that you put your children first, you put their safety

00:20:18.938 --> 00:20:25.238

first, but not even just their safety, but you had this opportunity to make a glimpse at the future.

00:20:25.638 --> 00:20:30.818

And again, you were able to remove them from a situation, remove yourself,

00:20:31.038 --> 00:20:34.598

throw yourself into homelessness.

00:20:34.898 --> 00:20:36.078

So scary.

00:20:36.578 --> 00:20:41.698

So just unknown, uncertain. certain, but you knew that was worth it.

00:20:41.718 --> 00:20:46.378

If you could save the lives of your children and not just their life,

00:20:46.438 --> 00:20:47.718

but who they would become.

00:20:48.358 --> 00:20:50.098

Yeah. Amen. Exactly.

00:20:50.838 --> 00:20:56.278

Exactly. Gosh, you had me tearing up, just reminding me and putting it like that.

00:20:56.418 --> 00:20:58.918

I mean, that's 100% what it was about.

00:20:59.098 --> 00:21:03.898

It was me making sure they were okay and changing the trajectory of their lives.

00:21:03.998 --> 00:21:08.418

And while we left and And when we left, I mean, we were living comfortably,

00:21:08.658 --> 00:21:10.798

you know, beautiful home, vehicles.

00:21:11.118 --> 00:21:14.718

He had a business. I had, you know, on the outside looking in,

00:21:14.758 --> 00:21:19.538

we look like the great, you know, all American family. We achieved success.

00:21:19.678 --> 00:21:26.158

I had come out of my back story and now I have kids and I'm going to get married and she's doing great.

00:21:26.218 --> 00:21:30.158

But inside of those walls, there was still turmoil going on.

00:21:30.158 --> 00:21:35.398

And so to leave all of that and to end up homeless by choice,

00:21:35.718 --> 00:21:38.878

people would go. And here's the thing. I had friends.

00:21:38.998 --> 00:21:42.538

I had family. I could have called on people and said, look, I need a place.

00:21:42.598 --> 00:21:47.698

But I will tell you, I was so ashamed that I had ended up in that space that

00:21:47.698 --> 00:21:51.878

I felt like I got to figure this out and fix it myself. Looking back on it now,

00:21:52.078 --> 00:21:54.998

I probably wouldn't have made that because so many of my friends are like,

00:21:55.058 --> 00:21:56.358

I can't believe you didn't call me.

00:21:56.438 --> 00:21:58.698

So I was always surrounded by love.

00:21:58.818 --> 00:22:02.418

But it was just one of those things where I allowed the shame and the guilt

00:22:02.418 --> 00:22:04.078

to say, you got to figure this out for yourself.

00:22:04.498 --> 00:22:08.558

And I remember telling God, I made this choice. I made this mess.

00:22:08.918 --> 00:22:11.818

Whatever we're in, I'm going to trust you fully.

00:22:12.473 --> 00:22:17.173

I know you're going to bring us out of this. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't look good.

00:22:17.213 --> 00:22:20.733

I'm going to trust that you have better in store for me. And he did.

00:22:20.913 --> 00:22:25.413

And so that transition from having it all together to losing everything.

00:22:25.533 --> 00:22:33.233

And we actually ended up living on a farm, sleeping in a barn and a horse trailer and a tack room.

00:22:33.373 --> 00:22:36.873

I ended up meeting this woman and I kind of gave her part of my story,

00:22:36.933 --> 00:22:39.153

but not all of it because I don't want to share everything. thing.

00:22:39.193 --> 00:22:43.633

And she says, you know, well, I have this place that you can stay in. You can stay there free.

00:22:43.773 --> 00:22:48.053

It's not the greatest thing. So I took it. And eventually we became really good

00:22:48.053 --> 00:22:49.233

friends because she learned my

00:22:49.233 --> 00:22:52.013

story and was like, well, let's get you and your kids out of this place.

00:22:52.293 --> 00:22:57.313

But in that space, living in that barn, sleeping in a tack room or sleeping

00:22:57.313 --> 00:23:00.873

in a horse trailer with my two kids, I will tell you what, Kevin,

00:23:01.033 --> 00:23:03.053

my kids did not skip a beat.

00:23:03.173 --> 00:23:06.353

They were so resilient. resilient they were happy that we

00:23:06.353 --> 00:23:09.293

were out of that situation to them it was an adventure

00:23:09.293 --> 00:23:12.433

and I made it as such there were nights that I

00:23:12.433 --> 00:23:17.773

would cry and I would lay on my face boohoo crying to God about ending up homeless

00:23:17.773 --> 00:23:21.293

and being in a situation but then there were days that my kids I'd look and

00:23:21.293 --> 00:23:25.633

they were out there in this field running and playing with horses and feeding

00:23:25.633 --> 00:23:30.053

chicken and it was the most enjoyable and peaceful time of their lives and they

00:23:30.053 --> 00:23:31.373

had no clue that we We were homeless.

00:23:31.573 --> 00:23:34.753

They just knew mom got us out of this situation and we're good.

00:23:35.193 --> 00:23:39.933

Yeah. You know, that's exactly what I started to say is they probably didn't

00:23:39.933 --> 00:23:44.533

realize it then, but they had been taught one of the most valuable lessons of

00:23:44.533 --> 00:23:47.113

life is that the things that matter are family.

00:23:47.933 --> 00:23:54.053

It's being together. It's life. It's none of those big homes and fancy cars and all of that.

00:23:54.093 --> 00:23:59.913

That's just stuff. What matters is being with family, being safe,

00:24:00.253 --> 00:24:02.093

feeling safe, feeling love.

00:24:03.003 --> 00:24:07.203

And that's exactly what you gave to your children. Yeah. Yeah.

00:24:08.863 --> 00:24:15.783

So talk to me from there. I mean, I mean, I mean, let's just like paint the picture like, woo,

00:24:15.983 --> 00:24:21.443

baby, this is like the rags to riches movie that we all be watching on Hallmark

00:24:21.443 --> 00:24:26.863

Channel about the girl in the tack room on the farm to where you are today.

00:24:27.043 --> 00:24:30.683

So so let's you got to skim us along.

00:24:30.843 --> 00:24:35.323

Let's let's hear it. So, yeah, that's so funny you put it like that,

00:24:35.403 --> 00:24:38.983

because, I mean, I always tell people of my life is literally a Lifetime movie.

00:24:39.103 --> 00:24:44.483

Like I am so waiting on Lifetime Movie Network to reach out to me because it's a it's it's good.

00:24:45.003 --> 00:24:51.163

Yes. Amazing movie. So coming through all of that, where is this woman at today?

00:24:51.323 --> 00:24:56.263

As I mentioned, you know, one of the things that I I have always been a writer,

00:24:56.343 --> 00:25:00.783

even in my childhood, I would write very exceptionally. emotionally.

00:25:01.003 --> 00:25:03.843

I was noted, I was commended and noticed for that.

00:25:03.943 --> 00:25:07.183

And I learned that that was a gifting and a talent that God gave me.

00:25:07.203 --> 00:25:10.863

And so as I started maturing, I wrote because it was therapeutic.

00:25:11.163 --> 00:25:14.983

It was a way for me to talk about what I was going through when I didn't have

00:25:14.983 --> 00:25:17.543

anybody to talk to, or I couldn't trust anyone.

00:25:17.863 --> 00:25:20.163

So I would write. And so now I'm,

00:25:20.440 --> 00:25:26.460

I write as an author. I've written and published six books ranging from my first,

00:25:26.660 --> 00:25:30.800

which talks about my story and that homelessness and everything we've talked

00:25:30.800 --> 00:25:35.740

about here on up through women's devotionals, self-help journals.

00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:38.400

You know, just different things I write.

00:25:38.660 --> 00:25:44.020

I've launched a podcast, Behind This Smile, which is the platform for the next

00:25:44.020 --> 00:25:48.440

book that I'll be releasing called Behind This Smile. And it's me going behind

00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:53.020

those photos that you see of me on social media, the rags to riches.

00:25:53.140 --> 00:25:56.080

Look at this girl. She's smiling. She's happy. She's traveling.

00:25:56.220 --> 00:25:59.920

Yeah, but let me take you behind the smile and tell you what I was enduring

00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:04.500

behind that and go deeper and be very vulnerable and authentic and transparent.

00:26:04.760 --> 00:26:08.640

And so that's what the podcast talks about. That's what the book will talk about.

00:26:08.840 --> 00:26:14.780

I founded a nonprofit, Heal Her, which offers restorative retreats to women

00:26:14.780 --> 00:26:19.500

where they can and have safe spaces and gatherings and events and getaways and

00:26:19.500 --> 00:26:24.220

be connected with counselors and therapists for resources and just have that

00:26:24.220 --> 00:26:26.900

mental health moment or that mom day if they need it.

00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:31.840

I work with youth. I love working with youth girls and talking to them about

00:26:31.840 --> 00:26:37.020

where I came from when I was their age so I can hopefully inspire them and cut those things off.

00:26:37.460 --> 00:26:40.480

And I just, you know, I'm living life.

00:26:40.660 --> 00:26:44.360

I'm enjoying podcasting. It's very therapeutic for me.

00:26:44.440 --> 00:26:49.240

I'm enjoying the of speaking and it's, it's snowballing really quickly.

00:26:49.340 --> 00:26:53.540

I'm getting all kinds of opportunities and offers and open doors and I'm just

00:26:53.540 --> 00:26:55.280

enjoying life. I really am.

00:26:55.760 --> 00:27:01.960

Yeah. Oh my goodness. You are the inspirational, amazing, awesome beauty boss.

00:27:02.200 --> 00:27:04.600

I mean, we got to add some more words to the title.

00:27:06.740 --> 00:27:12.200

Wow. I mean, I mean, but, but truly, and, and I mean, here's what I want to

00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:18.060

acknowledge is, I mean, And it's not easy to build what you've built.

00:27:19.316 --> 00:27:25.076

It's not easy to be an entrepreneur. It's easier to be an employee. That is the easy route.

00:27:25.516 --> 00:27:30.536

But the fact that you did it and that you've done it, it's really remarkable.

00:27:31.156 --> 00:27:37.676

Yeah, it has not been easy. And I don't ever want anyone to have the misconception

00:27:37.676 --> 00:27:40.616

that it's just been so easy.

00:27:40.736 --> 00:27:45.356

Sounds like it was a walk in the park for her. No. No, enduring all of those

00:27:45.356 --> 00:27:49.896

things that I've gone through, the trauma, raising children as a single mother,

00:27:50.136 --> 00:27:53.676

building business while I raised my children as a single mother,

00:27:53.876 --> 00:27:58.296

learning of my own trauma and the impact of that, having diagnosis.

00:27:58.936 --> 00:28:03.636

I'm 47 now and I was in my early 40s the first time I saw a therapist.

00:28:03.976 --> 00:28:10.216

And it felt so liberating and so freeing because she put a title to what I had

00:28:10.216 --> 00:28:16.316

been dealing with. She said I was diagnosed extreme PTSD and severe depression.

00:28:16.736 --> 00:28:20.376

And those are harsh things to hear. But I'll tell you, when I heard it,

00:28:20.456 --> 00:28:26.616

I felt like this weight lifted, not because I had these diagnosis, but, oh, I'm not crazy.

00:28:26.836 --> 00:28:32.796

And I have been dealing with a lot. And she said, look at what you've overcome, Takiyah. That's a lot.

00:28:33.236 --> 00:28:39.816

And so I'm learning more and more to be proud of myself. I'm learning more and

00:28:39.816 --> 00:28:41.376

more to share more of myself.

00:28:41.656 --> 00:28:45.136

And it, like you said, it has not been easy.

00:28:45.356 --> 00:28:50.056

There are still days that I have to push through. Like I said, I'm human.

00:28:50.276 --> 00:28:56.996

I'm not superhuman, but my faith in God, I account it and attest it all to him.

00:28:57.756 --> 00:29:04.676

I wholeheartedly believe I would not and could not be here had it not for me

00:29:04.676 --> 00:29:08.996

having faith in God and allowing bowing and acknowledging his hand on my life

00:29:08.996 --> 00:29:16.396

and him allowing me to use the story of my journey to help other people, other listeners,

00:29:16.516 --> 00:29:21.636

other viewers, other people say, look, you can get up. Not only can you get up, take my hand.

00:29:21.756 --> 00:29:24.696

I'll help you and I'll walk through it with you. Hmm.

00:29:25.416 --> 00:29:32.356

Was there ever a time when you could say that your faith ever wavered?

00:29:33.736 --> 00:29:37.756

Yes i would be lying if i said.

00:29:39.716 --> 00:29:49.616

I would be lying if i said no now have i ever lost my have i ever stopped believing

00:29:49.616 --> 00:29:55.656

in god no i beyond a shadow of a doubt i have not that moment in that barn when

00:29:55.656 --> 00:29:56.876

my kids and i were homeless.

00:29:57.096 --> 00:30:02.276

I remember getting on my knees and crying. It was raining and the roof of the

00:30:02.276 --> 00:30:07.136

barn had deteriorated. And so it was raining and it was destroying and damaging

00:30:07.136 --> 00:30:09.776

the last little bit of clothes that I had managed to bring.

00:30:10.016 --> 00:30:13.276

And I got on my knees and I remember telling God.

00:30:14.482 --> 00:30:20.862

I trust you. I believe in you. It does not matter how it looks or how hard it will ever get.

00:30:21.002 --> 00:30:23.682

I will never stop believing in you.

00:30:24.062 --> 00:30:29.702

And I just have seen him move too much in my life to doubt him.

00:30:29.842 --> 00:30:36.062

But faith, yes, wavering. There were, like I said, times of asking him, well, why?

00:30:36.242 --> 00:30:39.082

Or even and telling him, I don't want to do this anymore.

00:30:39.502 --> 00:30:45.762

You know, just being real with him.

00:30:45.802 --> 00:30:49.862

But see, that's the relationship I've cultivated with God.

00:30:50.022 --> 00:30:52.722

I treat him just like a friend, a father.

00:30:52.902 --> 00:30:58.042

He's all of those things. And so I can come to him with my truth because he knows.

00:30:58.442 --> 00:31:04.802

And I remember I went almost a year, one year, where I didn't not pray,

00:31:04.962 --> 00:31:08.202

but internalizing I was angry with God.

00:31:08.502 --> 00:31:12.002

And I just was different in my walk and my relationship.

00:31:12.302 --> 00:31:17.302

And I remember a whole year later, folding clothes, and I remember hearing the

00:31:17.302 --> 00:31:19.782

voice of God just say, why don't you just say it?

00:31:20.182 --> 00:31:23.082

And I remember I screamed, I'm so angry with you.

00:31:23.462 --> 00:31:26.722

And it's like he knew it. He was just waiting for me to be like,

00:31:26.922 --> 00:31:29.182

why don't you just put it out there? I know you're mad at me.

00:31:29.482 --> 00:31:31.862

I can handle it. Let's talk about it.

00:31:32.482 --> 00:31:37.122

So now I let him know I'm angry. I don't like this.

00:31:37.302 --> 00:31:42.802

I'm not going to do this today, you know, but he's so loving and so gentle and

00:31:42.802 --> 00:31:45.402

so kind and so merciful and so patient.

00:31:45.862 --> 00:31:49.902

And he still has a plan. And it's just like Jonah, when he was in the belly

00:31:49.902 --> 00:31:52.142

of the whale, Jonah didn't want to go do something.

00:31:52.322 --> 00:31:55.522

He went through it for a little bit and then he He pouted and he finally was

00:31:55.522 --> 00:31:56.762

like, all right, God, what are we doing?

00:31:57.042 --> 00:32:03.082

You know, so that's, that's, I do, I do waver at times, but my firm footing

00:32:03.082 --> 00:32:06.522

is I love him and I know that he loves me.

00:32:06.962 --> 00:32:11.662

Yeah. I love it. You know, what I love about the way you explain that is you

00:32:11.662 --> 00:32:17.022

explain it exactly how I do is it's a relationship and it's just like every

00:32:17.022 --> 00:32:19.882

relationship where there's times when we get upset,

00:32:20.102 --> 00:32:23.642

we get angry, but we still love each other. You know what I mean?

00:32:24.522 --> 00:32:27.642

Yeah, absolutely. Still love each other. And that's it.

00:32:27.802 --> 00:32:33.882

And like I said, God, He showed me, He showed me His love in all of those situations I was going through.

00:32:34.042 --> 00:32:38.902

Even when I didn't love myself, when I hated who I had become or didn't understand

00:32:38.902 --> 00:32:41.822

and like it, God's love was just always there.

00:32:42.022 --> 00:32:44.402

And He, you know, how do we experience God's love?

00:32:44.602 --> 00:32:49.282

He can send it through other people. He can send it through our reading the Bible.

00:32:49.282 --> 00:32:53.222

He can sit it when we're sitting alone in those deep, dark places and we're

00:32:53.222 --> 00:32:56.642

hurting and we can just cry out and we may not be able to see him,

00:32:56.682 --> 00:33:00.082

feel him, touch him, hear him, but he's with us.

00:33:00.202 --> 00:33:02.782

If we have the opportunity to open our eyes.

00:33:03.688 --> 00:33:09.288

Then he's still got a plan for us. And that's his love. Amen to that. Oh my goodness.

00:33:10.388 --> 00:33:18.008

You're two kids. It's now been many, many years since you guys ran out of that home.

00:33:18.688 --> 00:33:23.148

Talk to me about your kids today. I just, you know, talking about your kids

00:33:23.148 --> 00:33:29.288

and being a mother all this time, would just love to kind of hear a little bit more about that.

00:33:29.848 --> 00:33:35.128

Yeah, yeah, that's a good question. So, again, there now my son is he'll be

00:33:35.128 --> 00:33:37.568

21 in like a couple of weeks,

00:33:37.808 --> 00:33:48.428

which I'm still grappling to figure out because, again, I'm only 25 and my daughter is 26.

00:33:48.728 --> 00:33:54.508

And I will say, you know, this process, this journey has not been easy for them

00:33:54.508 --> 00:33:56.928

either. They are off the top. They are amazing.

00:33:57.288 --> 00:34:02.928

They are brilliant. One of the things that I spoke over them all these years

00:34:02.928 --> 00:34:07.168

through their childhood and even now, I would tell them, I would say,

00:34:07.268 --> 00:34:10.188

God, give them wisdom beyond their years.

00:34:10.428 --> 00:34:13.988

And Kevin, let me tell you, sometimes they're so smart. I just want to tell

00:34:13.988 --> 00:34:16.348

them, just, you know, can you just go sit down? Stop talking.

00:34:18.388 --> 00:34:23.088

I'm the mom. OK. No showing me up.

00:34:24.628 --> 00:34:30.128

But they are. I, I, I've seen that manifest that God has really graced them

00:34:30.128 --> 00:34:31.968

with wisdom for their age.

00:34:32.108 --> 00:34:36.148

I mean, when they were young, my daughter, you know, I can remember her as young

00:34:36.148 --> 00:34:40.908

as 10, 11, 12, and she would come to me and she would give me these conversations

00:34:40.908 --> 00:34:42.768

and these talks and this motivation.

00:34:43.288 --> 00:34:46.588

She's in med school now. Her dream is to be a trauma surgeon.

00:34:46.968 --> 00:34:49.968

And so she took a little bit of break.

00:34:50.048 --> 00:34:55.648

She graduated high school and she took a little bit of a break because while I came from trauma.

00:34:56.028 --> 00:35:01.808

And while I did all that I knew to do in the moments that I had to do it,

00:35:01.848 --> 00:35:07.648

my trauma still affected my kids because of my struggles and my not understanding.

00:35:07.988 --> 00:35:13.128

And so my daughter is in the space that her and my son are six years apart.

00:35:13.328 --> 00:35:17.148

So she had six years of mom, where I call it my.

00:35:18.470 --> 00:35:24.250

Unknowing of unhealed trauma and things like that. And so she had six years of that.

00:35:24.410 --> 00:35:31.210

And then my son came along and he had mom who found Christ, who had a diagnosis,

00:35:31.510 --> 00:35:33.750

who was learning to deal with that.

00:35:33.850 --> 00:35:37.970

And so the dynamic is very different between my children, my two children,

00:35:38.050 --> 00:35:41.650

and we are all on a healing journey. We really are.

00:35:42.130 --> 00:35:45.030

There's times, there's seasons where we

00:35:45.030 --> 00:35:48.210

are absolutely close and then there's seasons where we have

00:35:48.210 --> 00:35:51.090

a little bit of distance because we're each working on

00:35:51.090 --> 00:35:56.590

our healing journey and they have just overcome so much and I'm extremely proud

00:35:56.590 --> 00:36:02.130

of them and I just like any parent I want and wish the best for both of them

00:36:02.130 --> 00:36:08.650

yeah absolutely did you ever get involved in another relationship after that

00:36:08.650 --> 00:36:10.070

one that you just spoke about earlier?

00:36:10.410 --> 00:36:14.550

Oh my gosh. Yes, I did.

00:36:14.810 --> 00:36:18.710

I actually, Kevin, I actually got married and it wasn't right away.

00:36:19.170 --> 00:36:22.410

Um, it was probably my goodness.

00:36:22.490 --> 00:36:28.830

So that was about 2017 and I got married in 2020, January, 2021.

00:36:29.290 --> 00:36:34.550

So that was a long time. And I got into a relationship with someone that,

00:36:34.550 --> 00:36:39.690

you know, I first marriage, I waited, prayed, asked God, is this the person?

00:36:40.250 --> 00:36:44.910

And I actually was so nervous when I got a yes from God, because in dating,

00:36:44.970 --> 00:36:48.530

I normally was used to hearing God go, nope, no, not the one.

00:36:48.950 --> 00:36:53.490

And so when I got a yes, I, it shook everything in me, because I was like,

00:36:53.530 --> 00:36:56.970

oh my gosh, this is the person that God wants me to spend my life with.

00:36:57.150 --> 00:37:04.130

Like, wow, we dated, we went through all the motions, we did counseling, and we married.

00:37:04.904 --> 00:37:11.284

And two months into the marriage, the bottom fell out and there was infidelity

00:37:11.284 --> 00:37:14.304

and there was cheating and there was lying on his part.

00:37:14.424 --> 00:37:19.984

And I just could not understand, God, what happened here?

00:37:20.864 --> 00:37:29.824

And that was a journey that I am still healing from because we ended up separating. rating.

00:37:29.924 --> 00:37:33.604

And then I divorced and I actually had to file a restraining order,

00:37:33.704 --> 00:37:36.784

order of protection because he started stalking me.

00:37:37.084 --> 00:37:42.804

And that is something that added more stress and trauma to my life.

00:37:42.884 --> 00:37:47.284

And that is something that I'm healing from now.

00:37:47.384 --> 00:37:51.644

And it's actually, here's how God works because it's like, well,

00:37:51.764 --> 00:37:56.344

wait, Takiyah, I thought you prayed and sought God. God, I remember asking God

00:37:56.344 --> 00:37:57.644

the same thing. Did I miss you?

00:37:57.804 --> 00:38:01.584

I must not have heard you right. I must, did I just want this so badly?

00:38:02.124 --> 00:38:07.244

I remember God settling me and telling me, Takiyah, it takes two people to do the right thing.

00:38:07.944 --> 00:38:12.304

So it was never God's intention to put me through something that would hurt me.

00:38:12.424 --> 00:38:18.284

It was his intention for this man that I married to come alongside me and have a better life in Christ.

00:38:18.464 --> 00:38:24.424

But he refused to do the things that needed to be done. And so I'm still healing through that.

00:38:25.264 --> 00:38:28.184

But I look at it now.

00:38:28.404 --> 00:38:33.544

And I go, had I not gone through those things, I would not be sitting here on

00:38:33.544 --> 00:38:36.144

your podcast today talking about all of this stuff.

00:38:36.824 --> 00:38:42.104

Because I actually in the midst of all of that last year had a nervous breakdown. down.

00:38:42.584 --> 00:38:47.404

And in the midst of that, in that moment, it was when I was holding my cell phone later that day.

00:38:47.484 --> 00:38:51.924

And I just was kind of frustrated and going, I'm just swiping all these pictures

00:38:51.924 --> 00:38:53.824

of me smiling. Oh, she's traveling.

00:38:53.924 --> 00:38:58.984

She's smiling and she's living here and she's smiling. And I remember saying, I'm always smiling.

00:38:59.484 --> 00:39:02.644

If people really only knew the truth behind this smile.

00:39:03.124 --> 00:39:07.464

And in that instant, I heard God say, so tell them. And what evolved from that

00:39:07.464 --> 00:39:13.544

was the launch of a podcast. and I'm here sharing my story and talking and testifying

00:39:13.544 --> 00:39:16.884

and just being authentic and vulnerable and real.

00:39:17.044 --> 00:39:23.364

And I cannot tell you how much it's given me my power back and my voice and

00:39:23.364 --> 00:39:28.964

has propelled me even deeper and further into doing God's work and the tremendous

00:39:28.964 --> 00:39:33.864

amount of support and love that has come in and the lives that I hear being

00:39:33.864 --> 00:39:36.364

changed and breaking free because I'm sharing my voice.

00:39:37.904 --> 00:39:43.044

So very powerful. I'm going to make a really weird comparison.

00:39:43.624 --> 00:39:48.604

So you got to bear with me. But this is what, as you're talking,

00:39:48.804 --> 00:39:55.544

all I can think about, so living here in Florida, we always have afternoon thunderstorms in the summertime.

00:39:56.595 --> 00:40:01.295

And the thunderstorms will come through and there's days when they are fierce.

00:40:01.415 --> 00:40:05.735

The thunder rattles the windows, the lightning striking all over.

00:40:06.335 --> 00:40:08.535

You can say it can be pretty fierce and scary.

00:40:09.355 --> 00:40:14.995

But when the storm passes, if you go outside and you look at the yard,

00:40:15.275 --> 00:40:18.055

the grass is greener than it was before.

00:40:20.035 --> 00:40:26.495

That that grass the world it grew on the other side of that traumatic event

00:40:26.495 --> 00:40:33.075

and i can't help but but look at you and think of the same thing,

00:40:34.255 --> 00:40:39.235

that's so beautifully put that's that is so eloquent that's like that's what

00:40:39.235 --> 00:40:48.635

we call what is it um jesus talked in parables that was a parable like I will never forget that.

00:40:48.755 --> 00:40:52.115

I love it. Thank you so much for that. That really is.

00:40:52.315 --> 00:40:56.175

And there's a scripture that talks about how God will give us beauty for ashes,

00:40:56.415 --> 00:41:00.815

you know, and it just makes me think of that. But that's so beautifully put, Kevin. Thank you.

00:41:00.935 --> 00:41:05.075

Oh, of course. Of course. Well, I have one last question for you.

00:41:05.095 --> 00:41:10.875

But before I get to that question, will you please share with us where somebody

00:41:10.875 --> 00:41:16.215

can get Get plugged into your world to find your books, to listen to the podcast,

00:41:16.335 --> 00:41:20.695

to get all into your realm. Where can we send them?

00:41:21.335 --> 00:41:23.455

Yes, they want to get all up in my business.

00:41:24.475 --> 00:41:31.475

You can find me, the Inspirational Beauty Boss. I have made it so simple for you guys.

00:41:31.895 --> 00:41:37.035

It's every hashtag, social media, Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, website. site.

00:41:37.115 --> 00:41:42.795

You just simply put in your smile is your weapon and you will find me.

00:41:43.275 --> 00:41:49.335

Because I had a lady just last year, complete stranger, come up to me and I

00:41:49.335 --> 00:41:51.255

was having a rough day and she didn't know this.

00:41:51.295 --> 00:41:54.975

And she walked up to me and she hugged me and embraced me. And she said, you are beautiful.

00:41:55.335 --> 00:41:58.595

You never stop smiling. Your smile is your weapon.

00:41:58.955 --> 00:42:02.695

And that stuck with me. And so that is how you can You can find my books,

00:42:02.855 --> 00:42:08.015

my website, my speaking, my podcast is streaming on all platforms behind this

00:42:08.015 --> 00:42:08.915

smile with Tequila Sean.

00:42:09.435 --> 00:42:12.855

And you just plug in your smile as your weapon and you'll find your girl.

00:42:13.439 --> 00:42:16.399

Amazing. I love that so very much.

00:42:16.839 --> 00:42:24.179

My last question for you is for the person listening today, and maybe they're

00:42:24.179 --> 00:42:25.739

a couple of steps behind you.

00:42:25.999 --> 00:42:28.079

They're in that thunderstorm.

00:42:28.679 --> 00:42:35.379

They're in the thick of it all. What would you say to that person to give them

00:42:35.379 --> 00:42:39.359

the encouragement to get to where you are in life?

00:42:39.359 --> 00:42:44.939

So what immediately comes to mind is actually the title of a podcast episode I just did recently.

00:42:45.119 --> 00:42:50.499

It says, you got to go through it to get to it. Okay. And let me explain that.

00:42:51.239 --> 00:42:54.559

A lot of times we're dealing with things and say, oh, well, I'm going through

00:42:54.559 --> 00:42:57.619

this or I'm going through that or this is going on.

00:42:57.679 --> 00:43:01.699

I'm going through it. when you visualize going through something,

00:43:01.799 --> 00:43:02.879

I want you to see a tunnel.

00:43:03.459 --> 00:43:06.839

You're going through that tunnel. There's an entrance. And when you get into

00:43:06.839 --> 00:43:10.579

that tunnel, you know, it may be dark or you're just driving, driving, driving.

00:43:11.099 --> 00:43:14.159

In order to get to the other side of that tunnel and see the light again,

00:43:14.379 --> 00:43:16.879

you got to keep going to come out on the other side.

00:43:17.039 --> 00:43:21.359

So you can't stop is what I'm saying. You have to keep going.

00:43:21.699 --> 00:43:27.779

You have to not give up. And sometimes in that tunnel, it can be very dark.

00:43:27.779 --> 00:43:32.399

We can find ourselves in a dark place. We're alone. We're sad. We're depressed.

00:43:32.719 --> 00:43:37.279

We feel like nobody's there with us. And you may sit down and just you want

00:43:37.279 --> 00:43:39.039

to curl up in a ball in a fetal position.

00:43:39.199 --> 00:43:41.879

You just want to rest. You just want to stop. You're like, my goodness,

00:43:41.979 --> 00:43:45.899

how long is this tunnel? How long do I have to keep going through?

00:43:46.299 --> 00:43:48.099

You have to get up.

00:43:48.620 --> 00:43:54.260

And you have to keep going because in order to get to the other side of something,

00:43:54.540 --> 00:43:56.680

you have to go through it. Okay.

00:43:56.780 --> 00:44:02.860

So if you're going through, just remember, you'll come out on the other side. Eventually keep going.

00:44:03.060 --> 00:44:05.380

That is absolutely beautiful.

00:44:06.240 --> 00:44:12.360

Thank you so much for sharing such wisdom, for sharing your story.

00:44:12.360 --> 00:44:19.620

Story, inspirational, but even more so empowering is what I take from our entire

00:44:19.620 --> 00:44:24.100

conversation today is just pure empowerment.

00:44:24.380 --> 00:44:30.720

And I just want to thank you in the most heartfelt way for being here and for

00:44:30.720 --> 00:44:33.220

sharing all of that goodness with me and my listener.

00:44:33.600 --> 00:44:38.000

Thank you so much. It has been an absolute honor just to be here.

00:44:38.220 --> 00:44:42.940

And I love your questions, the prompts, so engaging and so thought provoking

00:44:42.940 --> 00:44:47.260

and just very touching to me as well. So thank you, Kevin, for everything you are doing.

00:44:47.500 --> 00:44:50.300

Oh, well, thank you so much. That means the world.

00:44:50.340 --> 00:44:56.720

And for you listening today, as always, I hope that this podcast can mean more

00:44:56.720 --> 00:44:58.420

to you than just something entertaining.

00:44:58.800 --> 00:45:03.860

So I hope that something said today can be an impact on your life.

00:45:04.120 --> 00:45:09.820

And remember, if there's somebody in your world who you think to yourself, wow, you you know what?

00:45:10.080 --> 00:45:14.820

They could really benefit from hearing this. Well, go ahead and share it with them.

00:45:15.380 --> 00:45:17.920

That's what we want to do. That's how we spread the message.

00:45:18.380 --> 00:45:20.480

That's how we make an impact in the world.

00:45:20.900 --> 00:45:24.980

So with that, I'm Kevin Lowe. This is Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

00:45:25.260 --> 00:45:26.880

Get out there and enjoy the day.

00:45:26.960 --> 00:45:45.762