Show Notes
Did you know that simply waking up and declaring you want to be happy can actually make you unhappy? Discover why this counterintuitive truth is key to unlocking genuine happiness.
Many of us chase happiness like it's an elusive prize, only to find it slipping further away. This episode unpacks why our approach to happiness might be all wrong and offers a new perspective that could change everything!
In this eye-opening episode, host Kevin Lowe dives into the science and philosophy of happiness, sharing insights from Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. Kevin explores the powerful SPIRE framework—spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational, and emotional well-being—that can guide you to a more fulfilling and joyful life. Get ready to learn practical tips and transformative strategies to reframe your pursuit of happiness.
Some Key Takeaways:
- Understand the SPIRE Framework: Learn how spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational, and emotional well-being create a holistic path to happiness.
- Practical Daily Actions: Discover small, actionable steps you can integrate into your routine to enhance each aspect of your well-being.
- Real-Life Application: Hear real-world examples and inspiring insights on how to implement these changes effectively in your life.
Ready to transform your life? Hit play now and start your journey to genuine happiness with practical strategies that work!
Mentioned Links & Resources:
Hey, it's Kevin!
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Stay Awesome! Live Inspired!
© 2024 Grit, Grace, & Inspiration
Show Transcript
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Did you know that research shows that if you wake up in the morning and say
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to yourself that I want to be happy today, that you will become unhappy?
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Yeah, let me say that again. Research shows that if you wake up and say to yourself
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that today I want to be happy, that you will actually become unhappy.
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Happy. The reason for this?
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Well, it's because we've been chasing after this idea of being happy.
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And in reality, it's like trying to catch a shooting star.
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It's just not going to happen. But today, I'm going to share with you a whole
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new way to look at happiness.
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I'm going to break it down into five parts, five easy actions that you can do every day.
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And when repeated, needed, guess what happens?
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You will become happy.
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Today is a masterclass on happiness. Today is episode 289.
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What's up, my friend, and welcome to Grit Graceland Inspiration.
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I am your host, Kevin Lowe. 20 years ago, I awoke from a life-saving surgery
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only to find that I was left completely blind.
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And since that day, I've learned a lot about life, a lot about living, and a lot about myself.
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And here on this podcast, I want to share those insights with you.
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Because friend, if you are still searching for your purpose,
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still trying to understand why, or still left searching for that next right
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path to take, we'll consider this to be your stepping stone to get you from
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where you are to where you want to be.
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As a podcast host, you probably assume that I I also enjoy listening to podcasts
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in addition to recording them.
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And if you thought that, well, you are indeed correct.
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And I was recently listening to one of my go-to podcasts, and that is the Mel Robbins podcast.
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And in this particular episode, she had interviewed the number one expert on happiness.
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His name is Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. And the insights that he had to share about happiness,
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they absolutely blew me away to the point that I actually went back,
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re-listened to the entire interview again, but this time I took a bunch of notes
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because, well, I thought to myself, if I'm this blown away,
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then I guarantee my audience would be as well.
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So today I'm going to share some of my biggest takeaways from that interview. you.
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I'm also going to encourage you to go listen to the interview yourself,
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which there will be a link left in today's show notes that will take you directly to that episode.
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But today, we are going to explore what I took away from that episode about
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how you can achieve happiness.
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At the start of today's episode, I gave you this crazy fact that research shows
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that if you wake up and say that you want to be happy, that you'll actually
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end up being unhappy. happen.
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Well, I want to give you an analogy of exactly what this means.
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When you walk outside, it's a sunny day. Are you able to look up at the sun
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and see every detail of it?
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No, you're probably not because, well, if you stare directly at the sun,
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it's going to burn your eyes.
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You're going to be unable to see it.
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But you know how you can see the sunlight? You use a prism And the sunlight
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hitting that prism, it will break the sunlight into all the different colors of the rainbow.
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And that way, you can see the sun just now indirectly.
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Happiness actually works the exact same way.
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One thing that I found very fascinating, before I continue, is the fact that Dr.
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Tal Ben-Shahar, he likes to reference the definition of happiness as stated by Helen Keller.
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And that is that happiness is wholeness.
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So, focusing on this idea of happiness equaling wholeness, we're going to focus
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on five key areas of happiness that make up the acronym SPIRE.
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Now, each letter in the word SPIRE, it is one element that is going to have
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you achieving a life of happiness.
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The first is spiritual wellness. The second is your physical wellness.
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The third is intellectual.
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The fourth is relational well-being.
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And the last is emotional well-being. You could pretty much say that those are
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the metaphorical colors of the rainbow that make up happiness.
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So if you go back to that example of the sun, think of happiness as the sun
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shining light. and you use a prism to break it up into its colors.
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And when it does, it breaks up into those five different elements.
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So I'm about to give you some tactics, some real world examples of what this
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would look like in your life.
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Because again, you're no longer gonna wake up in the morning and say to yourself
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that today I'm going to be happy because we know that doesn't work.
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Research tells us it doesn't work. And you've probably found it doesn't work already in your life.
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But instead, if we wake up and we focus on these five key areas and be sure
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that we achieve each of them each day, lo and behold,
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you'll probably find yourself starting to wake up and imagine that feeling happy.
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For the tactical application of this acronym SPIRE, I want you to think of small
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incremental changes in your day.
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I don't know if you ever read the book Atomic Habits, but that's basically what we're talking about.
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These small little things that by themselves seem totally insignificant,
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but when done together and done over a period of time, the results are magnificent.
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And in this case, the results are you getting to be happy.
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I'm going to give you some guidelines, but the fact is true is I want you to
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experiment with each of them.
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If something you do makes you happier, well, then do more of it.
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I just want you to realize that all these small little changes,
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they can equal a big impact in your life.
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So I said that the first letter INSPIRE stands for spiritual well-being.
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So what does that look like in your day-to-day application?
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It could be as simple as you taking one minute,
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yes, just one minute to meditate, one minute to pray, one minute to do something
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spiritual, something that connects to a source bigger than you.
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Now, I didn't say one hour. I didn't say half the day. No, I just said one single minute.
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Now, the second aspect is physical well-being.
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And if you're thinking that he's telling me I got to go to the gym, no, I'm actually not.
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Because, well, most of us realize that gym memberships are a total waste of
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money because we never go.
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Instead, we're focusing on small actions to equal big results.
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Results so think of how you
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can do a single exercise for
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30 seconds whether it's sit-ups pull-ups jogging up the stairs whatever it is
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do it for 30 seconds that's it now maybe over time you get to where three times
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a day you can do that exercise or a different exercise for just 30 seconds.
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And at the end, well, you've just got an awesome, amazing workout in just three
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sections of your day of 30 seconds each.
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Again, minimal effort is what we're talking about.
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When I talk about intellectual well-being, I am talking about you learning something
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new, expanding your mind.
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So what this could look like is, well, learning something new online or better
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than being online, in my opinion, is talk to somebody.
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Learn more about somebody.
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Somebody who you know knows a lot about a subject. Well, ask them about it.
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If you're interested in it, learn a little more.
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That's what we're talking about with intellectual well-being.
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Because, well, the fact is true. Those who are curious live longer. though.
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Now, relational well-being, that's as simple as a hug.
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Being sure that you tell your family, your spouse, I love you before you walk out the door.
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Or it's maybe you sending your spouse a text message in the middle of the day
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simply to say, I love you.
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And I feel like this relational well-being is so vitally important because studies
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show that the number one predictor of unhappiness is loneliness.
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And well, it kind of makes sense if I think about it.
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So I encourage you to really focus on this relational well-being,
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whether it's with friends, with its family, with your spouse,
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whoever it is, you got to have people in your life.
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Interact with them, be with them. It will make a big difference in the end.
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Here's something else, though, before I move on is when we talk about relational
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well-being, I want you to remember that it's not just being around friends that matters.
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No, it's being present when you are around your friends.
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How many times does it happen that you or somebody you know,
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you guys go out to dinner and somebody, if not everybody, is on their own phone.
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Yeah, they're trying to be part of the conversation, but they're also distracted
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by whatever they're scrolling on their phone with.
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That is not a good practice of relational well-being.
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I encourage you, if that is you, to put away that phone, to not pull it out, to not start scrolling.
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It's become such a ridiculous habit that we all are guilty of that,
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to be quite honest, it's really quite sad and it's really scary how quickly
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we've adopted this horrible habit.
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So I want you to remember, it's all about being present in the moment.
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And that's really the fact about everything we're talking about today,
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is being present in the moment.
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Yeah, it's important to think about tomorrow, to plan for the future,
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but it's even more important for you to be present right now.
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Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, he used an amazing example of what this is like when we
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are out and about out with friends,
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talking with them while on our phone, is he said it's basically the equivalent
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of you putting on your favorite song on the radio and you turn it up loud.
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You then put on your second favorite song and you turn it up loud also.
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You now have what were your favorite songs, both playing at the same time,
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which equals horrible noise.
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You can't make out one song from the other and you just want it to stop.
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Well, that's basically what's going on in your mind each time you are not focused on the here and now.
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So use that as a really good visualization of exactly what this looks like going on in your head.
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And if you're like me, the thoughts of two of my favorite songs blaring at the
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same time, that does not sound very appealing.
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The final aspect of Spire is emotional well-being.
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This can look like you being sure that you give gratitude.
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It's amazing to write it down. I encourage you maybe at the end of each day
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to pull out a journal and write down five things that you are grateful for that day.
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I want you to get in the practice of of being true with your emotions,
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with this act of gratitude.
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And what's powerful about writing it down is, well, sometimes it helps to get stuff out of our head.
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Sometimes we hold stuff in without even realizing it.
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And just by being able to release it, you'll already feel so much better.
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All of those different activities are what he referred to as MVI,
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minimal viable intervention.
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Intervention what is the minimal thing
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that you have to do that's going to make an impact it's mvi what can you do
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for each of those elements each day that are going to end up making a difference
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in your life now i'm going to switch to a real life example because in the interview,
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Mel Robbins asked Dr.
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Tal Ben-Shahar to explain what exactly this looks like in real life application.
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What does his life look like on a day-to-day basis?
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And what he said is really shocking because what he said is nothing life shattering.
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It's not something like, oh my gosh, yes, that's what I need to be doing.
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It's just simple actions. It's the minimal viable intervention.
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Intervention his day-to-day routine well it starts by him meditating when he
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first wakes up that checks off the box of spiritual.
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Then, well, he reads quality stuff. He picks up a good book that he's loved.
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He's learning. He's expanding his mind.
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He then, well, he does real world stuff like taking the kids to school.
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One thing that I thought was amazing is he said on the way to school,
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he always gives his kids one message for the day, one thought,
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one thing that they could do that day that
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can make a difference in both their day and the day of another student.
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I thought this was such an amazing thing to do with your kids.
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Is using that time on the way to school to kind of give them a pep talk for
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the day, to cheer them up, to lift their spirits, and to get them thinking of
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how they can make a difference, not just in their own life,
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but in the life of other students.
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Then after dropping his kids off, well, he goes home and goes to work,
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just like many of you do as well.
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Whether you're working from home or working in an office, you drop the kids
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off at school and then, well, you go to work.
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On his lunch break, he goes to lunch with his wife. The relational well-being, check, check, check.
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How many times do you make an extra effort to go meet your husband,
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your wife, your best friend for lunch?
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If you haven't done it in a while, well, I encourage you to do it,
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to give the week a little extra spark, a little extra bit of being with the
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people we love, because that's what matters so much.
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He then finishes off with checking off the box of that physical well-being by
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doing some yoga in the afternoon.
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What I thought was powerful is the fact that Mel Robbins explained,
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wow, that seems very normal, just like a normal life. And that is true.
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And that is the power of his teachings, is that this doesn't have to be some
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radical change in your life.
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It's just giving focus to each
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of these five areas and you know what when
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you think about it when you hear about his day-to-day schedule
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doesn't it sound like a happy life that's
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what we're trying to achieve here to begin with the last note that i want to
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share with you is in relation to this whole idea of chasing after happiness
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of putting in the work of doing the the things of not just trying to focus on being happy, but no,
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focusing on these five key areas of happiness.
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Remember, the acronym ASPIRE, spiritual, physical, intellectual,
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relational, and emotional well-being.
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You focus on those key areas and your life is going to end up looking like Dr.
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Tal Ben-Shahar, just a happy life.
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And isn't that why we started listening to this episode in the first place.
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And I'll end with this. It's so important when we're talking about these little
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acts to not do what you feel like doing, but to do what you know is going to make a difference.
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Because what is so important is what we do rather than what we feel like doing.
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If we rely on us feeling like doing all these small little acts,
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well, we're going to fail.
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But instead, sometimes you just got to do it. What I told you today,
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I don't think is too much to ask.
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I don't think that any of these five different activities are that massive that
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you have to think to yourself. nope, can't do it. I got too much going on in my life.
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No, we're talking about a minute of meditation.
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We're talking about 30 seconds of exercise.
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We're talking about little things here and there throughout the day to equal happiness.
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My friend, my whole goal with this podcast is to inspire you,
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to empower you, and hopefully to give you some tips to make life a little bit better.
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In today's episode, well, the goal here is to hopefully give you a whole new
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way of looking at happiness.
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And the hope is that, well, by listening, you will indeed become a little bit happier.
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I'm Kevin Lowe. This is Great Grace and Inspiration. If you've enjoyed today's
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episode, I would love it if you would share it with a friend.
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Maybe there's somebody else who you know they could really use to hear this
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information all about happiness.
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Share today's episode with them. And that would be the biggest gift you could
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give me for this podcast, because
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I want this podcast to reach the ears of people all over this world.
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Get out there, get to practicing this idea of Spire, and I will see you next time.
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Mus.
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