Show Transcript

It's no doubt that a single moment in time can completely change the rest of your life.

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Today, it's a story of a moment, a decision, and it completely changed the life for today's guest.

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I want you to imagine, imagine back when you were a teenager with nothing but

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the hopes for the future, enjoying life, excited about tomorrow.

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And then, of course, that moment happens, a decision, a single moment in time,

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and everything changes.

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Our guest today, John Antonucci, he knows this story all too well.

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That moment was devastating.

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That moment would change the lives of so very many, including his own.

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Faced with a 14-year prison sentence, John Antonucci could have viewed his life as done.

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But instead, as the story goes, he would use this as a transformation because,

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well, he realized every setback is a setup for an amazing comeback.

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Today is one heck of a comeback story.

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Now, here's how today's episode, though, is going to mean something more to you.

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Is that while you listen, I want you to keep in mind that it's not what happens

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in this life that matters.

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No, it's how we react to it that defines us.

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Keep that in mind as you listen to his story and understand how that moment,

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that doesn't make him who he is.

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Instead, it's all the things that he's done since then. My friend,

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I welcome you to episode 284.

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What's up, my friend, and welcome to Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

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I am your host, Kevin Lowe. 20 years ago, I awoke from a life-saving surgery

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only to find that I was left completely blind.

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And since that day, I've learned a lot about life, a lot about living, and a lot about myself.

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And here on this podcast, I want to share those insights with you.

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Because friend, if you are still searching for your purpose,

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still trying to understand why, or still left searching for that next right

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path to take, we'll consider this to be your stepping stone to get you from

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where you are to where you want to be.

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Do you and your family watch much TV? If so, then you have probably seen the

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commercials for MyPillow.

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Well, did you know that here on the podcast, we are sponsored by MyPillow?

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And what does that mean for you?

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Well, that means you get to use the promo code Kevin And you can get the best

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available price on any of their more than 250 products.

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link that makes it easy for you.

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Remember, just use promo code Kevin when shopping at MyPillow.

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Last week on the podcast, I mentioned

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that I wanted to start doing prayer requests for you, my listeners,

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and today we are going right along with that, and I have a prayer request from

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Debbie, and she asked prayer for her son, Shannon.

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Shannon recently underwent massive heart surgery, and she just asked if we could

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be praying for Shannon for complete and total healing,

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that he will get strong and well and can get back to living the life that he was.

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His name is Shannon, and it would be amazing if you could say a prayer for him today.

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And please remember, if you would like to have your prayer request featured

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here on the podcast, I've made it super simple.

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All you have to do is send your prayer request via text to 877-749-8178.

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Again, that phone number is 877-749-8178.

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And remember, don't call that phone number. Just send a text message.

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That is what it is set up for. So send a text message to that phone number with your prayer request.

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And I would love to feature it here on the podcast. With that,

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my friend, it's back to the episode.

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Here is my interview with John Antonucci.

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I grew up in the foothills of Colorado in a town called Fort Collins.

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And was the probably the most entrepreneurial young man that you have ever encountered.

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I don't know if you've even heard more, but at seven years old,

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I started my own lawn business.

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By the time I was 12, I was running that and delivering newspapers and selling

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newspaper subscriptions and going up to the local convenience store.

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I think they call it convenience plus back then. Anyways, and like making the

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coffee and stocking the shelves and helping a little local produce stand selling

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old town and really just work and work and work.

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And because I was homeschooled my entire life, that gave me the opportunity

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to get the schoolwork out of the way and get back to work.

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So very ambitious young man, somebody that my parents were often known as John's

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parents in the neighborhood.

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And yeah, just very, very much a go-getter. And then at about 12,

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I got involved with martial arts.

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And that was something that I just really took to really, really quickly.

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And so from that point on, that was kind of the passion.

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I still worked and did all the other jobs, but my dream was to become an instructor.

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And I was able to officially realize that dream when I was 17 years old.

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We'd moved to Arizona by that time.

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It was an unfortunate situation, but one of the instructors that had been a

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longtime instructor with the company that I was a part of, passed away.

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And they were in a bind to try to fill all of the classes.

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And at that point, a 17-year-old ambitious young man was all that was really required.

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I had the rank, I had the ambition, and they had the needs. So we complimented each other in that.

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And by the time I was 19, I was instructing over 500 students across the Phoenix

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Metro Valley and really, Really, really just continuing on.

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So that's kind of an overview of what I was doing.

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Yeah, amazing. Now, what do you think it was about martial arts in particular

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that really attracted you to it?

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You know, I think it's hard to say. It's hard to say. Being homeschooled,

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as much as that gave me an incredible amount of opportunity.

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This was back in the days before homeschooling was cool, certainly pre-COVID.

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Yeah. And so I think there was a lot of kids that are near me that didn't know how to take that.

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So probably a little bit to try to overcome some bullying and things.

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But but I think honestly, if I look back on it now, I kind of became a bully there for a while.

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And so I think a lot of it was just a desire to be powerful,

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a desire to command control and respect.

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What do you mean when you say that you kind of became a bully?

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Why? Why would you say that? Well, you know, hindsight being 2020,

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which it always is there, there's just, you can look back on it and say,

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you know, there wasn't a real heart for self-defense.

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There was more a heart for dominance.

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And especially when I look back on the way that I treated my siblings,

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I got, I have a lot of remorse over some of the ways that I treated my siblings. I'm the oldest of five.

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And so I just look back and I'm so thankful for the wonderful relationship that

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I have now with each of them. but boy, I sure could have treated them better

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growing up. Yeah, yeah, understandable.

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Now, real quick, kind of while we're still in this same kind of a period of

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your life, the move that you guys did, how old were you when you guys moved

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and how was the move on you and life?

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So I was 15 when we moved.

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And I think for me, it was a huge adjustment. So we moved out here.

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My father has been in the ministry since I was born.

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And he moved here to help with a church that was, or I shouldn't say here.

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I'm not in Arizona anymore. more. But he moved to Arizona to help with the church there.

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And so I think from one perspective, it was something new. It was something exciting.

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Being the oldest, I was kind of the fearless one of the group,

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but it definitely changed a lot as well.

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All of the little business ventures I had going obviously kind of evaporated.

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And I don't know how much you know about Arizona, but while Colorado was lush

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with trees and grass and things to mow and rake and shovel, Arizona, not so much.

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So about the most you're going to get with landscaping as a 15-year-old kid

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in Arizona is pulling weeds and raking rocks.

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And so that kind of put the kibosh on that.

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But I was able to get a job. I started working for Safeway and did pretty well there once I turned 16.

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Martial arts also took a big change because in Colorado, going back to kind of that bully idea.

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I was just, I was undisputedly kind of the top of the class,

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even before I was officially ranked top or the oldest, it was just, it took to it naturally.

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And so while that was great, it didn't necessarily foster a spirit of growth.

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Well, I came to Phoenix and Phoenix being a much larger area where the company

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that I was a part of was actually founded.

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There were people that were just a lot better.

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And so I went from kind of being the top dog to being a nobody in a matter of moments.

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And I think that was really, really beneficial for part of my growth journey.

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Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

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Now, when you were talking about kind of at the height of this martial arts,

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when you were, I think you said 19 and you were teaching martial arts,

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just from my own knowledge of your story,

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something else kind of happened at 19 that I feel like is a pivotal moment in your story.

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Would you unpack that for us? Yeah, absolutely.

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The age of 19 is huge because it was both the apex of who I was as well as the

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rock bottom that resulted in who I am.

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The successes that I had found growing up, and it really was, it was the Midas touch.

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Everything I did turned to gold and it really was enough to really lend to an

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already overinflated ego. go.

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And so when I was probably 18, I was paired up with some people that I was working

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with and all societally good people.

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We were all kind of doing the right thing, except there was one of us who had

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found some ways to kind of cook

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the books a little bit when it came to our instructing of martial arts.

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And so that kind of led me down a rabbit hole.

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I'm not a creative person by any any stretch of the imagination,

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but I am certainly an innovative person.

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And if you show me that something is possible, I'm going to show you how we

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can make that possibility better.

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And, uh, that's, you know, that's kind of what I did.

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He, he showed me that there was a possibility of, of skimming off the top of the books.

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And I said, well, if you can do it that way, then you can also do it this other,

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and this other, and this other, and this other, and this other way.

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Eventually, of course, when you get greedy and you do things that are the lack

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integrity, I think the Bible says that things that are done in secret are shouted from the housetops.

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And so that's, that kind of what happened. I was called on the carpet for it.

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I made up a lie about what my intentions were, that I was trying to find all

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of the problems with the system.

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And they bought that just for about as much truth as it contained.

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And I was, of course, fired.

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And so after being fired, of course, the reason that it was caught,

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all the books were being audited.

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And there was kind of a series of events that happened. But to kind of just distill it all down.

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I was fired. My best friend who originally kind of showed me that this was possible

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was under investigation.

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And we were both what we lacked in an integrity we made up for in creativity, I guess.

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And so one day as we were talking, we were talking about me starting up my own venture.

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And he was kind of scared a little

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bit because remember, I was 17 when I originally signed my contract.

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So my non-compete clause, I didn't feel was enforceable, but he was significantly older than me.

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And so his contract had been signed at an elder age.

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And so he was trying to figure out, you know, what are we going to do about

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that? Because, you know, eventually I know I'm getting fired too, basically.

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And so he made this comment. It was done in passing. I didn't really take it

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seriously, but he was like, you know, we should just burn the whole place down.

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And I was like, ah, you're stupid. Shut up. And within moments of that,

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I mean, it wasn't like it was even talked about really.

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It was just kind of in passing that the conversation ended and I didn't give it much thought.

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And it wasn't until probably a month or two later that it came up again with

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two mutual colleagues who said that they had overheard the same friend talking

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about the same idea, but this time in front of students.

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And they were pretty concerned about, you know, not only where this idea was

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going, but also the fact that it had been mentioned in front of other people.

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And that was kind of when it got serious because I was like still very insecure

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with myself, still lacking any integrity and courage in myself.

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And with some weird, weirdly placed

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sense of importance, I felt the best thing to do was to take charge.

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And all right, I'm going to talk to Josh about this. And we went toward that direction.

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But instead of, you know, hey,

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we should never have talked about this or this. This is a terrible idea.

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I more went at it from the perspective of you can't say things like that in front of students.

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Yes. And that's that kind of snowballed the the conversation into,

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you know, what were you even talking about?

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And eventually there was a plan that was put into place.

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And to make a very long story very short, when I was 19, me and three of my

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friends thought that it would be a bright idea to go light that building on

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fire, the office building where we worked.

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And so on, I believe it was June 13th of 2009,

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we all donned black attire and scaled an awning that allowed us to break a window

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in the second story offices of that office building.

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And we had a whole plan. The whole plan collapsed immediately after going in.

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I don't think any of us wanted to be there.

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I think we were all freaked out. I think if any one of us had said,

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I'm not doing this, the rest would have said, and we all would have left. But none of us did.

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I was too much of a coward to make such a statement.

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And so we broke the window. We entered into the office that we were supposed to disperse from.

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None of us ever left that that office. Most of us just left our gasoline that

00:15:10.949 --> 00:15:12.569

we had brought with us in that office.

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I was the first one out the window with one of the others close behind.

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And I was literally just running away as fast as I could when I saw the fireball

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erupt into the sky behind me.

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And the alarm went off. And my best friend, an older brother,

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he had apparently lit the match while he was still standing in that room.

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And I didn't see him again until after I pulled my truck around trying to look for him.

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And he was at that point kind of rolling around up on the awning with flames

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coming off of his clothing.

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I was unable to stop my car in time. I tried to make a U-turn,

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but in the time that I made the U-turn, the fire truck passed me.

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And he had said during the quote unquote planning phase, you can call what we

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did planning, that if anything went wrong, all of us were supposed to get out

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of there and preserve our lives

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as we were all much younger than him and that he would take care of it.

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So I made yet another cowardly move and I ran away.

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I drove away, really, and turned

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my phone off so I couldn't be tracked and drove away as fast as I could.

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I have no idea where I went. It's all just kind of a blur.

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But eventually, we all met up at my house and the other three of us.

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We concocted a lie that It's what we felt would be an alibi for all of us.

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And we left it at that. And to continue to try to fast forward through the story,

00:16:38.609 --> 00:16:42.929

the police called me the next day as his wife had indicated I was the last one

00:16:42.929 --> 00:16:47.009

to be seen with him, assuming that I would be able to lie my way out of that

00:16:47.009 --> 00:16:49.889

quandary, just like I had everything else in my life.

00:16:49.969 --> 00:16:54.129

I went to the police station and answered the questions in my most convincing tone.

00:16:54.309 --> 00:16:58.049

And they believed me for the exact amount of truth that was in my statements as well.

00:16:58.681 --> 00:17:02.801

And I found myself with the handcuffs being clasped around my wrists as they

00:17:02.801 --> 00:17:07.341

clipped shut and being led away, being charged with arson of an occupied structure

00:17:07.341 --> 00:17:10.541

and what was classified in Arizona as first degree murder.

00:17:10.801 --> 00:17:14.681

Not because they thought we intentionally killed him, but because when you commit

00:17:14.681 --> 00:17:17.701

a felony and someone dies, it's considered a capital murder.

00:17:17.901 --> 00:17:19.561

So it's classified the same as first degree.

00:17:20.021 --> 00:17:23.141

Wow. So your friend did die?

00:17:23.381 --> 00:17:28.301

Yes. The next day, I assumed he was in the hospital. I had no idea where he

00:17:28.301 --> 00:17:32.141

was, but to me, I'd watched apparently one too many episodes of CSI.

00:17:32.341 --> 00:17:36.321

And I thought, well, there's this giant database, so I'll find him.

00:17:36.481 --> 00:17:40.661

And so I called the police to file a missing persons report saying that we were

00:17:40.661 --> 00:17:44.221

supposed to leave and that he had taken off to run an errand and never returned.

00:17:44.401 --> 00:17:48.981

In case anyone's wondering, no such giant database exists, but they will charge

00:17:48.981 --> 00:17:53.861

you for filing a fraudulent report when they find out that the person was not

00:17:53.861 --> 00:17:55.021

missing and you were with him later.

00:17:55.121 --> 00:17:58.721

So that's a fun fact. But yeah, I tried filing a report.

00:17:58.961 --> 00:18:01.521

They were unable to find him. I didn't know what was going on.

00:18:01.561 --> 00:18:05.701

And it wasn't until I received a call from a mutual colleague later that day

00:18:05.701 --> 00:18:09.361

where they said that they thought they had found Josh's body at the scene that

00:18:09.361 --> 00:18:11.801

I learned that he had passed. Wow.

00:18:12.741 --> 00:18:16.601

Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. My

00:18:16.601 --> 00:18:20.421

how a series of bad

00:18:20.421 --> 00:18:24.261

decisions can just completely snowball and

00:18:24.261 --> 00:18:27.061

completely change the course of your

00:18:27.061 --> 00:18:29.941

life yeah yeah no one saw it

00:18:29.941 --> 00:18:36.121

coming uh not especially not me but but yeah no it went from uh i think i've

00:18:36.121 --> 00:18:41.361

said i was i went from being the the golden boy to the goober i went from being

00:18:41.361 --> 00:18:46.021

the the person that was doing good things to just being an absolute loser in

00:18:46.021 --> 00:18:48.101

a matter of matter of minutes Wow.

00:18:48.261 --> 00:18:51.521

So what happens next?

00:18:51.701 --> 00:18:56.681

After you're arrested, all of this, what happens?

00:18:57.583 --> 00:19:01.123

A long and very positive journey.

00:19:01.563 --> 00:19:04.683

And when I say positive, I don't mean fun. I don't mean comfortable.

00:19:04.