Show Transcript

0:00:01 - (Kevin Lowe): When you think of paying it forward, what do you envision? Maybe you've been lucky enough to be part of an effort of paying it forward. What I think of, well, I think of those amazing stories about the drive through line at the local McDonald's where one person paid for the car behind them and that set out a chain reaction because that car then paid for the next person. That person overcome with joy, disbelief that somebody would do that for them, well, they pay for the car behind them.

0:00:35 - (Kevin Lowe): Today we're talking about paying it forward, but in a whole different sense, because today's guest, Remy Storak, he has dedicated part of his life to paying it forward to kids cancer care of Alberta, Canada. As a child, Remy was there. He got to experience this camp, and it was transformational. Matter of fact, Remy says that having cancer and going through three different heart procedures as a kid was the best thing to happen to him because of kids'cancer care.

0:01:15 - (Kevin Lowe): Today you're going to hear the story about a child who was at a camp with other kids who were sick, too. Now, the reality of the situation is that these kids who were really sick, and year to year, some of the kids, they didn't make it back. Today is about giving back. It's about paying it forward to kids cancer care to those who didn't make it back to camp. But it's equally about setting off on adventure, living life to the very most that it is.

0:01:53 - (Kevin Lowe): Because Remy, well, we're not only talking about kids cancer care, we're also talking about him being a big game horseback guide in the middle of nowhere with his two brothers. The adventure stories you are about to hear are going to leave you in awe, my friend. I'm telling you what if you're up for a sense of adventure, if you're up for also a heartfelt story about a kid, about a man who is now giving back, who is paying it forward, then, my goodness, this is the episode for you, my friend. I welcome you to episode 272.

0:02:38 - (Kevin Lowe): What's up, my friend? And welcome to grit Gracelet Inspiration. I am your host, Kevin Lowe. 20 years ago, I awoke from a life saving surgery only to find that I was left completely blind. And since that day, I've learned a lot about life, a lot about living, and a lot about myself. And here on this podcast, I want to share those insights with you. Because, friend, if you are still searching for your purpose, still trying to understand why or still left searching for that next right path to take, we'll consider this to be your stepping stone to get you from where you are to where you want to be.

0:03:16 - (Kevin Lowe): Woohoo, baby. How many points did you earn today? Me? I totally crushed yesterday's score. Of course. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the rise and thrive personal development tracker. Something that I created so that I can become the best version of me and so that you can become the best version of you. If you are on a journey to live this life to the fullest, to be sure that you are making the most of every day by becoming a better version of you today than you were yesterday, well, you got to jump on board. With the rise of thrive personal development tracker, I've made it super easy to download. All you have to do is text the word rise rise to the phone number 33 triple seven.

0:04:06 - (Kevin Lowe): Again, simply text the word rise rise to the phone number 3777. I also will leave a link inside of today's show notes if that makes life any easier, because I'm telling you, you got to get in the game with the rise and thrive personal development track.

0:04:28 - (Remmy Stourac): It wasn't until I was 20 years old that my mom was able to give me the full gravity of the situation. But I get to tell people that cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me. But at the age of four, I was diagnosed with leukemia. And now I understand it to be that by the time I was diagnosed, my bloodstream was about 90% cancer cells and I had 24 hours to get a blood transfusion or I would have died.

0:04:53 - (Remmy Stourac): And so that translated to every vein in my left knee down and my leg ended up exploding. And lo and behold, I'm still here. But it was three heart procedures and three and a half years of chemotherapy and treatment later. But I get to say I'm extremely lucky to be here. So I have nothing but gratitude for how my life has unfolded ever since.

0:05:16 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. Wow. Now, growing up, did you have any brothers or sisters?

0:05:22 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah, I was the youngest of two other brothers and an eldest sister.

0:05:26 - (Kevin Lowe): Okay. During that time and stuff, just out of my own curiosity and stuff, were they a big help to you? Just comforting and being there with you?

0:05:37 - (Remmy Stourac): I mean, I was in the hospital for two months, I believe, and so my mom was 100% my biggest supporter. And when I was so young as a kid, I also get to realize that I'm quite fortunate that my sense of normalcy hadn't really even existed yet.

0:05:52 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah.

0:05:53 - (Remmy Stourac): But when I did get to come home, we did have a bit of an outdoorsy life. We had a little bit of an acreage. And so even though my immune system was low. I couldn't go to real school, but I could still be catching frogs in the backyard and bringing out the slingshot with my brother. So absolutely. It was a big support.

0:06:10 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. Amazing. Well, talk to me about kids cancer center, because that's a big part of your story, and I'm curious to understand what exactly it is and where it kind of fit into this story of yours.

0:06:27 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah, absolutely. So kids Cancer Care foundation of Alberta. A nurse ended up approaching my mom three years into my treatment, and she said, hey, there's this kids cancer care camp where survivors and siblings can get away for five days and parents can finally take a breather of the tight grip that every parent rightfully would have when their kids going through such turmoil. But I got to go there, and me and my siblings as well. For kids age seven to 17.

0:07:01 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. I got to go to this camp for five days and be among other survivors like my, I get to say some of my great friends growing up were double brain tumor survivors, amputees, blind, and they're the happiest people I've ever met. And so to have this camaraderie of people who are kind of, like, celebrating their scars and realizing, like, oh, I have a variety of different gifts that have been given to my life and the resilience that comes with it. And so it allowed a place for us to shift the narrative and for us to go and scrape our knees again after we've had the safety bubble on our life. Right.

0:07:36 - (Remmy Stourac): And I give so much credit to the counselors because it's a nonprofit, of course. And so to have the leadership come from people who are there for the sake of itself and to be the best person of value, you have to be the goofiest, most selfless, lead with humility kind of person around. And so I started to see this totally different set of values that doesn't really exist in the real world. And so to grow up and be that and the best friend you possibly can for all these other kids who are cracking the bubble of what's possible for their life and redefining potential literally daily among these people who said, can't scrape your knees because your blood clots won't work and stuff. Right.

0:08:19 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. To just redefine our lives little bit by bit, that place just became a home of miracles for us.

0:08:25 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. Wow. Now, how old were you when you first went there?

0:08:28 - (Remmy Stourac): So I am still about the most veteran kid because I started as young as I could at age seven, went all the way to 17, and then became a full time counselor, and we'll get to the story later. I only ever missed three summers to be a big game horseback guide, but now I've been going back every single summer as an adult to teach future counselors. So I have, like, 17 years in that place.

0:08:50 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow, dude, that's amazing.

0:08:53 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah, it's incredible.

0:08:55 - (Kevin Lowe): So was it something? Was it the same time every year, like a week during the summer, that you all would go?

0:09:01 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah, that's right. Just five days in the summer. And then as soon as we were growing up, where we could finally have two weeks as 17 year olds and then two months as an adult, I was like, man, I'm so prepared to work ten months a year just so I can volunteer two months. This place has so much magic hiding in it that it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.

0:09:19 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, amazing. Talk to me about some of the friends that you made there. If some of those kids continued going as long as you. I was just kind of curious about that.

0:09:30 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. So I'm definitely the OD one out in that sense. I still have some childhood friends who have now finally come back around to volunteering again. And it's funny because so many people say, oh, I don't have enough money to take a week off to do that. And it's like, dude, spiritually, I don't know if you can afford not to. We got to get our childhood back.

0:09:54 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah.

0:09:56 - (Remmy Stourac): But to have some friends that I've known since I was ten to come up and just kind of watch the childhood get back into their bones and see how good they are again, just to be the most rowdy kid in the room and then be like, oh, if the adults. If this is a version of maturity that exists that gives so much hope to the kids on their way up, they're like, oh, we don't have to be hardened adults. As soon as we get into the real world, we can move forward into life with this composure that's playful and that's, like, one of the biggest things that I advocate for.

0:10:28 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, I love it. Now, when I talked with you before, you told me about a particular story when you guys came back to camp and one of the friends that you had had wasn't. Yeah, I would love to ask. Yeah. To share that story.

0:10:47 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. The most pivotal story, for sure, especially as a young kid. So when we're seven, of course, we don't have Facebook or anything. We're frantically giving each other our mom's phone number so we can end up at the same week of camp. The following year, I remember being twelve years old, and there was, I think, seven or eight of us, and we're all coming. It's like, oh, we're here again. We waited a whole year to be back to this place, and we're all looking around, but there was only one friend missing who was Davis.

0:11:17 - (Remmy Stourac): And the younger sister, her name was Jesse. Davis had the same cancer that I had, leukemia. And she had to say, like, yeah, Davis cancer relapsed, and he actually didn't make it this time. And so a whole bunch of twelve year old kids are now having survivors guilt. As soon as we get back to camp, and it's this time of celebration, but it probably didn't take more than, like, half an hour for us to realize that.

0:11:43 - (Remmy Stourac): I think the best thing moving forward is that we have to be twice as courageous in life because Davis doesn't get the chance to be courageous anymore. And so that was a promise that we made to each other, and that just amplified the way that we've moved forward in life. And there's definitely been times that we check back on some of these friends, and some of them are musicians now and stuff, and entering in these creative careers, and they're like, yeah, man, it scared the crap out of me, but we got to do it. What else is there to it?

0:12:12 - (Remmy Stourac): And so, yeah, just that attitude of this wonderful force that birthed out of a tragedy that you can't point any fingers anywhere for it. Right. But it's like, man, there's magic to be made of that, too.

0:12:24 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, absolutely. And, I mean, I can't help but think to myself, like, how profound for a bunch of kids who, when you look back at it now, to realize the magnitude of that situation and then to have the resolve to be like, let's go all out because he's not here. Yeah, that's powerful. At some point in time, I'm assuming it's when you had missed a couple of years going to camp. Is that when you took off on some crazy adventure with your brothers?

0:12:58 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. So I had been this full time counselor. Finally, I wasn't legally allowed to, so I came back as kind of like an undercover volunteer when I was 17, just on the brink of 18, and then full time when I was 18, going into 19. But I made the promise. I was like, man, this place is in my bones. Servitude is just for me. Like, I am such a good servant leader in the sense of knowing what these kids had been through, especially through all the different age demographics of seven to 17.

0:13:31 - (Remmy Stourac): Where I had been the insecure kid who was crying at night because I was homesick, and the 13 year old kids who don't really have their hygiene figured out, but they're falling in love for the first time. I could just appreciate the entire spectrum of it. But I was like, man, I can't imagine anything ever taking me away from this place. Right?

0:13:50 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah.

0:13:50 - (Remmy Stourac): But my two older brothers, they'd even experienced camp as well, but they had worked their way up the hunting guiding industry all through Alberta, BC, the Yukon, Northwest Territories with their summers afterwards. And they ended up getting this wonderful reputation. And one of the best hunting outfits in North America ended up reaching out to them and asked if they wanted to bring horses back into the northwest Territories because 40 years ago, four guys tried to do that.

0:14:22 - (Remmy Stourac): And it's 500 km from the middle of the road where the Yukon ends into the Northwest Territories. Like twelve back to back marathon days just to get in where we start and we have a guy come and airdrop us a pickaxe and flagging tape and we would give them coordinates and be like, touching down hunters for the first time in 40 years. Because 40 years ago, those four guys on their way out got stuck in this terrible snowstorm and two guys froze to death and had to leave all their horses out there and they died.

0:14:54 - (Remmy Stourac): And so my brothers are like, let's make it a family thing. I'm like, man, I was like, it broke my heart, but I was like, the call to adventure, man. I made this promise as a little kid. I'm like, it'd be crazy if I didn't.

0:15:12 - (Kevin Lowe): Absolutely.

0:15:12 - (Remmy Stourac): Lo and behold, the adventure happened.

0:15:15 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That is crazy. It's crazy enough that you guys are even taking on this trip. And so now I'm just excited for you to keep telling this story because what the heck happened?

0:15:27 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. So there's been many evolutions of how that affected my life afterwards because I initially had a fair amount of resentment, actually, that this wonderful situation was happening and we were literally handed a map and good luck on our way into the wilderness. And so it's not like there was Google maps through the marshes. And so the first couple of days, we were literally just like, our horses were swimming through the bog and I ended up getting this terrible knee injury because my horse fell through the earth and was, like, swimming forward and the three horses that I was trailing behind got spooked. And so I was kind of stretched out between holding my horses and my horses fell sideways and my knee got wrapped around the stump. And basically pulled my kneecap off.

0:16:19 - (Remmy Stourac): And so then I had no choice if we weren't getting medevac out, like, we had to keep going. And so I ended up walking a fair amount of the next while just because sitting stretched out in the saddle was so unbelievably painful that I ended up just, like, building muscle mass around this wounded knee. That was, like, the beginning of this. But I was like, man, I'm just out here getting my butt kicked by horses. And this is an incredibly glamorous journey that so few will ever have the privilege to experience in this untouched land. But I'm like, I want to go be of service, man.

0:16:53 - (Remmy Stourac): And it was just really, like, tearing at my heart for a while. And it kind of just came to the point where I was praying, where I had nothing but God to talk to, to resonate. Because even though my brothers had experienced kids cancer care, this was their passion. And so they're kind of like, it's time to grow up, right? I was like, man, it's not that they didn't quite understand how special that place was for me. So I was praying one night, and I'm like, God, how can I break my arm or my leg in the least painful way so I can go be of service again? Because I just feel like this is absolutely not for me.

0:17:30 - (Remmy Stourac): And this is a wonderful detail just because I think we have time. But I had a friend whose mom reached out to me, and I had only known her a couple of times, but she had taken an interest. And just with the kids cancer care story and stuff, she's like, I just know you're going to do great things. And she's like, God told me to give you this book. And she's like, I've never read it. And she invited me over for a coffee before I left, and she literally didn't even look at the bookshelf. She put her finger on this book and pulled it out, and the title of the book was called, God, thank you for my opportunities, but please send somebody else.

0:18:09 - (Remmy Stourac): And so I'm like, okay, I think it's time to read this book.

0:18:12 - (Kevin Lowe): Yes.

0:18:14 - (Remmy Stourac): I can't remember exactly what it was in the book, but it just, like, the accumulation of things that had brought me to that moment, I just realized, okay, God, I didn't come here to die. I didn't come here to look for opportunities to hurt myself, to leave. I'm like, if you're going to bring me to it, you're going to bring me through it. And so I came to all these situations, the wrangles that I did every morning, I would just take up my shotgun and I would walk through rivers and bump into grizzly bears and have these standoffs. And luckily, I never had to kill one in self defense, but I was surrounded by wolves in the middle of the night, which I'll get to another time, swept down glacier rivers. And it's just like, if it wasn't for that total shift of mentality that if God's going to bring me through it, he'll get me through it. And it was just a total shift of gratitude.

0:18:59 - (Remmy Stourac): To be like I am in this present moment and nothing else matters. And to think that I should be wishing myself somewhere else is a disservice to the craziness that is my life.

0:19:08 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, you know what? That's a really powerful mindset. And I think that's something, honestly, that all of us need to be reminded of, is sometimes it's like we work so hard to get where we are, and then things maybe don't go quite the way we want, and we hope and we pray to be out of it and to be somewhere else. And there's something to be said for just embracing the moment, whether it's good or bad.

0:19:41 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. Especially the bad man. I was chatting with friends now, and the spirit of people who be like, I can profit off of pain, not like monetarily, but spiritually. Be like, my diligence could be somebody else's deliverance. If I can struggle with class and pay it forth, then somebody else can breathe easier. And I'm like, man, that's a noble way to go.

0:20:02 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, absolutely. Well, before we continue on learning more about this crazy adventure journey, I was kind of curious. Your faith, was that something that was always part of you or developed later on?

0:20:16 - (Remmy Stourac): Honestly, it was kind of present in my youth, I would say. But there was definitely some experiences where I had witnessed people trying to say, hey, this is the right way to be. But then it was also hypocritical. And so I'm like, man, people who are walking in faith, they kind of come with a peace and a confidence of like, no, this is good for me. And it comes with a thriving sense of actualization. But the people who were kind of sharing their story were kind of using God's excuse to be like, oh, this is what God chose for me. And it's like, I don't know if I can agree with that because you're very fearful of your own life and you're staying in bad relationships, and so I'm like, I don't know if I can agree. I don't want to agree with a relationship that I see to not be exciting you or leaving you fearful about your own life. And so, honestly, I think it was majorly going up into the wilderness and kind of having my own spiritual experience and then coming home and realizing that I had lost my gratitude because I needed God in every minute when I was walking through the rivers, I'd be like, God, keep my feet firm, keep me steady, keep me dry, and keep me at peace with everything out here. But when I got home and everything was so easy, which was a very shameful problem for me, that I would start to pray and be like, hey, God, I haven't talked to you in a while.

0:21:47 - (Remmy Stourac): I would be complaining about something, right? I'm like, man, this is a bad friendship, let alone a relationship with my creator. Right?

0:21:54 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah.

0:21:56 - (Remmy Stourac): That's actually the perfect question because specifically because I felt guilty that I had ruined and gotten complacent with the best relationship that I had ever grown, as far as I'm concerned. I'm like, that's why I wanted to go back into the wilderness for around two to renew my relationship with my spirituality, because I just started walking as if I had earned the goodness in my life, and it started to build an ego that was really improper. And so I'm like, I got to go humble myself again and get God back, in a sense.

0:22:29 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. Wow. So powerful. So back on your adventure, we're going to fill in some gaps here and go back. But I have to ask the biggest question. Did you all make it? Did you succeed or were you helicoptered out?

0:22:46 - (Remmy Stourac): Oh, yeah. No, man. We were there off grid for 110 days at a time, nearly four months.

0:22:53 - (Kevin Lowe): Oh, my gosh. Dude, that's forever.

0:22:58 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah, it is. And to go in when the sun is, like, we were so far close to the arctic circle that the sun did not set for the first month and a half up there. And so we would get a tiny bit of shade at 03:00 a.m. When the sun dipped behind a mountain, if we were lucky, if we were positioned properly. But it would be 30 degrees or 85 degrees at 330 in the morning. Like, we couldn't sleep. We would get roasted out of our tents in the last month. It would be below freezing every morning. We'd be slapping snow off of our tent in the middle of the night so it didn't cave in on us. Like, we just had little two man tents because everything had to be carried on our horse's backs. Right. We couldn't have anything luxurious.

0:23:41 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow, dude, that's insane. Now, how many horses did you guys have with you?

0:23:47 - (Remmy Stourac): Between us three brothers, we had 14.

0:23:50 - (Kevin Lowe): Okay. Did all 14 make it?

0:23:53 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. So that was actually a really wonderful thing because this is kind of a gnarly detail. But there was neighboring outfits in the Yukon that weren't nearly as far into the wilderness, maybe 300 km instead of 500. So still a crazy jaund in. But there is a reputation that the way through the marsh into the wilderness was so bad that we had to kind of account for the possibility of casualties along the way. Right. And there was like, of course, nobody wants that.

0:24:23 - (Remmy Stourac): But we hadn't lost any horses in the three years that we all did that together. And that was a really big deal because the neighboring outfits would lose, like, one to three horses every season. And it's devastating. Right. Like, it's family as far as you're concerned. When it's all you have and it's precious cargo, precious weight, all your adventures are on the backs of these crazy beasts. And so. Yeah, no, we were extremely fortunate and had wonderful friendships and talked to our horses like buddies.

0:24:51 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, absolutely. So on this adventure, we've realized now it's not just like you're out there for a weekend. We're talking extended amount of time. Talk to me through some of your most memorable moments. Whether because they were scary, because they were amazing. I'm just kind of curious to learn some more details.

0:25:15 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah, man. Okay, I'll give you a funny one before I give you the scary one. Okay. I had this horse, boots, that I was wrangling on. And the most loving way to put it is that this horse was so unbelievably strong, but he was so unbelievably dumb. And because they're herd animals, they are so in tune with each other and the direction that they go. And so every night we have the horses tied up all day because it takes a whole day, at least, for all the food to go through their stomach. It takes about 4 hours for a horse to graze and fill their stomach.

0:25:57 - (Remmy Stourac): And so overnight we would let them go. We have bells on their neck, but I would have to track them by their footprints in the ground and by the poop that they leave behind. And I would just walk into the wilderness and find out where they were.

0:26:09 - (Kevin Lowe): Oh, wow.

0:26:10 - (Remmy Stourac): But if we had few enough hunters, then we could keep two horses in. So they'd always need a buddy, otherwise they would get afraid. So I had boots and blue who would stay in and I would hop on boots in the morning, and we would ride off into the wilderness. And I was trusting boots before I understood that he wasn't as smart as I realized. And he ended up trailing me through willows, and he was galloping, man. I was pulling back as hard as I could, but his head was down. He was so sure that he was finding his buddies, but he was following caribou tracks for 20 minutes and we ended up in the middle of the valley.

0:26:50 - (Remmy Stourac): This horse looked down, like, side to side and realized he had no idea what he was doing. And I literally had blood on my cheeks from branches whipping me in the face. And this horse just turned rounds and gives up. I'm like, no, absolutely not. And on the way back, I realized that the horses had actually done a circle around our camp and went out the opposite direction. And so the horse went back to camp and basically wanted to give up, and so I had to drag him out of camp.

0:27:19 - (Remmy Stourac): And so I was basically doing extra work just to pull the horse out. And so there's literally the opposite of every point of having this wrangle horse. But as soon as I found a track, I pulled the horse's face down into the ground to make him look at it, and he got all excited and I hopped into the saddle and I got my shotgun, like, slapping across my back as he's, like, trotting away. And I'm kind of, like, getting used to it because I know I'm going to be trotting for a while.

0:27:44 - (Remmy Stourac): And then, like, five minutes into it, the horse just goes to a dead halt and plants its back legs into the ground. So, surprisingly, I literally front flip over boots head and I'm holding onto the reins in my left hand, and as it pulls up, I literally punch myself in the chin on the way down, holding onto the reins, and my back lands on a rock and I'm just like. And I'm like, what? And I turn over and I see this steaming pile of bear crap right beside my head. I'm like, okay.

0:28:15 - (Remmy Stourac): And so boots is trying to yank me and I'm, like, just gasping for air. And I'm just holding onto the reins with my left hand as this horse is, like, dragging me on the ground. I'm like, oh, my God, this is still before seven in the morning and all this crap is happening. I'm like, this is an unbelievable day. But lo and behold, I ended up finding horses, like, ten minutes after. But that was like a day in the life, man.

0:28:38 - (Remmy Stourac): As much glamorous as there was, it was a rodeo.

0:28:42 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow. And we all thought being a cowboy was sexy.

0:28:49 - (Remmy Stourac): But the stories after, like, that, it's the best part to be able to laugh at yourself because you can get an ego. Like, yeah, I'm like, modern day cowboy. But it's like, yeah, dude, I punched myself on the way down from flipping off the horse. I am not special.

0:29:04 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That is hysterical. So that's a funny story. What about a scary story?

0:29:12 - (Remmy Stourac): So my signature life changing story.

0:29:15 - (Kevin Lowe): Oh, okay, now we're getting deep.

0:29:17 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah, we're getting to it. This was season two, day 67. I remember journaling. We ended up in the same camp that we found the first year around. It was our favorite area. We called it Coons Camp. And this was, like, old, like, just native names that they had left on the map. So it wasn't our choosing. But the previous year, our first year, winter had came a month early in August. And so we were hunting for a caribou. And the caribou migration ended up walking down our valley.

0:29:51 - (Remmy Stourac): And so we were looking for one and we ended up climbing a hill. And we watched hundreds walk by and we're like, wow, what do we do with that? And so we're like, oh, my God. Same time next year. Let's go. And so we did that. And as it should have been, winter did not come in August. And so me and my eldest brother, it was just the two of us because we only had one hunter. And so our middle brother, Lauren, actually got to go off in the bush plane and he got to go backpack elsewhere and he got to change of scenery, which was really cool. So it was just me and the one brother for this situation.

0:30:27 - (Remmy Stourac): So we hunted in every direction that we possibly could for the four days. And because the sun doesn't set and my brother is a maniac, we would hunt for like, 20 hours a day because he's like, I want results. I want a story for our hunter. And so we were exhausted, but we did not see anything. And so we came back on the fourth day and he's like, okay, I think the best thing I can do is take eight of the horses. I'll take the hunter. I'm going to go down the valley about 7 hours to what was called Death Valley because a glacier had basically wiped out this entire train. So it went from this extremely densely forested area to what was, like, literally a sheer wall of just, like, nothing but a couple of willows. And if anything exists out there, you can see it. It can see you and it's just wide open. And so I was like, yeah, man, I haven't had a break in two months. Like, go ahead, like, bye bye.

0:31:23 - (Remmy Stourac): And so I was like, absolutely, I'll take three days off. He said, yeah, I'll be back in three days, I promise. And so I'm like just taking it in, sleeping in a little bit until seven in the morning because I still got to get my horses. But it was day two of this break and I was sitting around the fire for dinner. I was just like, I cooked caribou steaks over the fire and I'm just enjoying life. Reading Game of Thrones. I carried this book 500 km just to have something to relax to.

0:31:53 - (Remmy Stourac): And I have my six horses in a semicircle behind me and there's this s shaped river beside me by my fire. And I see this grizzly walk out from 100 yards and it just casually walks right across the river. So he's about ten yards from me and it stands up on its back legs. And I always got my shotgun right there. But bears are like 95% good. They're just curious. But at the same time I'm like, okay, well, it smells my food 100%.

0:32:20 - (Remmy Stourac): And so it's just like kind of taking it in and I got my shotgun there. And so I'm saying like screaming bloody murder, like, do something if you're going to come, come now while I have the upper hand and you're going to have to run through this river on your way to charge me. But I'm standing up like shotgun ready, like it's in my sights. But this bear is standing on its back legs and it's looking all around at my horses. My horses are looking at it and it doesn't even look at me while I'm screaming at it. And it gets back on four legs and walks off and I'm like, that's way scarier.

0:32:55 - (Remmy Stourac): It didn't even bother to look at me while I'm like, scrim, I'll kill you. I'm like, man. I'm like, it's going to come back in the middle of the night for sure. And so I'm like, oh, dude, like now this is a bad situation because I have to let my horses go every have. I don't get to keep two in. Like I have to let them all go. So I was kind of preparing for the worst. I'm like, man, I just got to get through one night and then Ben will be back.

0:33:20 - (Remmy Stourac): And so the horses knew that this grizzly wanted to come back. And so as soon as I let them go, I just hear their bells ding, ding, ding into the distance. And I'm like, am I actually alone now? In the first time in the wilderness, I'm like, I've done wrangles alone. But at this moment, I was like, okay, now there's actually something that is stalking me.

0:33:38 - (Kevin Lowe): Yes.

0:33:39 - (Remmy Stourac): And so I had everything ready to, like, a big bonfire set up, and so it dwindled overnight, but just to be able to flick it and have everything light up, and I went to bed with my headlamp on my head, ready to rock and roll. And it wasn't until 02:00 a.m. That I finally fell asleep. I ended up waking up at 440. I remember still pitch black, but I thought I was having this nightmare where there was, like, wolves howling and yapping, and I tried to close my eyes because I'm like, I'm waiting for a bear, but it was so loud that it was screeching in my ear. And I'm like, oh, shit, they're circling me.

0:34:14 - (Remmy Stourac): And so I roll out of my tent, I turn on my headlamp, and I see three sets of eyes to my left, two to my right, and I can hear more behind me. I'm like, I only have four bullets. And so I just pop a shell in the chamber, and I fire one into the air and just holler into the darkness, and it goes dead quiet. And I just run over to the fire, frantically light it up, and I'm just, like, hugging this as I'm frantically looking around in the darkness, like, not seeing any eyes, and it's just eerie quiet.

0:34:46 - (Remmy Stourac): And I'm just thinking, Ben's never going to believe this. He's never going to believe this. And the sun starts to rise, like, about 40 minutes afterwards. And instead of following my horse tracks, I ended up following the wolf tracks on top of the horses, and they had ended up harassing my horses. None of them were hurt, thankfully, but they were pretty pissed off. I was like, me too. Let's go. Ben's coming back today.

0:35:10 - (Remmy Stourac): Everything's going to be fine. And so that whole, like, I can't even sit still. I'm just like, I see all these, like, there's the bear tracks around my camp. There's these wolf tracks everywhere. I'm like, ben's never going to believe this.

0:35:23 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah.

0:35:23 - (Remmy Stourac): And the whole day goes by, and the sun starts to set again, and Ben's not coming back. And I'm like, all I had was his promise. I'm like, he has the satellite phone. I don't have any means of connecting with him. I'm like, I have to repeat this every night until he's back. I'm just holding down the fort now. And so my mind goes worst case scenario, right? I was like, why would my brother go off on his promise?

0:35:46 - (Remmy Stourac): And it's not like it was crazy weather or anything as far as I was concerned. I'm like, he's not pinned down in a blizzard, right? And so, yeah, mom was like, man, he's got to be hurt. Hunters hurt, something. I was like, well, if there was like a medevac helicopter or something, I would probably hear it. Like, nothing else goes over these valleys, but nothing happened. And so I'm like, man, I just got to repeat this every night until he comes back. And so day 34567 go by, and my mind is just worst case scenario.

0:36:16 - (Remmy Stourac): And so there was this one bear, but there was literally a second one that was way bigger that there was this airstrip maybe 500 yards behind our camp just through some trees, but there was this fuel barrel that we put there to have an extra saddle in case one got broken. And this bear was like, pawing and beating the crap out of this fuel barrel because they can chew on the leather and they like the salt from the sweat.

0:36:40 - (Kevin Lowe): Oh, wow.

0:36:40 - (Remmy Stourac): So I was seeing this other bear beat the crap out of this. I'm like, man, it's got to be desperate. I'm so like, man, there's these predators everywhere. And so it just felt like my bubble was getting smaller and smaller, and I was just kind of like having a stern word with God, like, what the hell is this for? What could justify the stress? And I realized that I carried that Game of Thrones book 500 km by horseback to have something to relax to. I'm like, man, what if I wrote something and I could give 10% back to kids cancer care? I'm like, if I'm going to die young, I might as well do something that pays it forward.

0:37:12 - (Remmy Stourac): And so in that time to keep my head on straight, I ended up starting to write the initial ideas that became the first fantasy books that I wrote, and that kind of brought me into the authorship world. And I wasn't a crazy reader or writer prior to, I was a total fraud, but it was kind of like just a desperate attempt to keep my head on straight, but it was something that just really just seeped into my bones. I'm like, this is something I'm going to do.

0:37:37 - (Remmy Stourac): So when my brother came back on day seven, he kind of, like, swaggered into camp, and he had this record book, caribou, and he was all happy. I'm like, I don't even care. Not cool, man. This wasn't fun. And I was just not in a good mood. I kind of, like, had a little fake celebration. Like, yay. But I'm like, look, like this was the worst week of my life.

0:37:58 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah.

0:37:58 - (Remmy Stourac): I was initially so excited, but, yeah, that was, like, a canon moment of my life that made me become an author.

0:38:06 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow. Again, I said profound, I think, several times in our conversation, and I'm going to say it again, because here you are in a situation. You have no idea if your brother's alive or dead. You've got packs of wolves swarming around you. You've now got two different grizzly bears potentially ready to eat you. I mean, you're walking around with food, your horses, and you think to yourself, I want to write a book. I want to donate 10% to the kids cancer care.

0:38:44 - (Kevin Lowe): Who thinks of that?

0:38:48 - (Remmy Stourac): It's a total trauma response. That's all it is.

0:38:53 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow. I mean, that is pretty darn cool, I must say that. So talk to me about from that point in the book, and where does life kind of go from there and the process of writing the book.

0:39:10 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. So I can fast forward a little bit here. So we did a second season, and I ended up doing a third, and this is as far as I consider. I kind of call it like a divine intervention, because, again, I kind of lost my gratitude, and I was like, okay, well, maybe I'll go into the wilderness so I can have space to write my book again. And I kind of was almost cheaping out on doing the hard work and just sitting down and doing what I set my spirit to do. Right. But it's like, oh, no, I got this paycheck, and I'm this horseback guy, and I'm enjoying time with my friends like I've earned it, and I'll do the hard work when I'm back into the wilderness, when I have no distractions.

0:39:48 - (Remmy Stourac): But on the third season, I ended up getting flown out, not for a major injury, but because of the heart procedures I had as a kid. I can end up having heart palpitations that I've been able to manage just by being fit my whole life, not being an alcoholic and stuff. But if I get one of these palpitations, it goes from 70 to about 230 beats a minute, and I can't stop it for 15 to 30 minutes. And it's like being in a dead sprint nonstop the whole time. It's like my whole torso vibrates.

0:40:20 - (Remmy Stourac): And so my body was just burning calories that I couldn't keep up with. And I ended up losing a lot of weight and to the point where it didn't make sense for me to be walking around in bear country with a heart problem because if I passed out and my brothers aren't concerned for me to be gone for like 6 hours at a time before they get worried. So I was like, this is just not realistic, man. I need to go find out what's going on with my heart because this is the most confident I've been in this situation.

0:40:48 - (Remmy Stourac): But my heart's really not in good shape, and so I had to find out. So that ended up closing my window into the guiding world in an essence, because it was a big ordeal for the company to fly out into the wilderness and get me flown back to Edmonton and stuff. Right? And so I ended up getting diagnosed with super ventricular tachycardia, which is basically the tube that was through my heart for a year as a kid. Kind of healed like an earring where that scar tissue, if there's a poor electrical impulse, then it just sends my body into a crazy flight or flight without the adrenaline perk. So I'm just there and my body's, like, going over mode when I'm just like, sitting there chilling and I'm like, man, this sucks.

0:41:32 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. That as far as I was concerned, I made it the meaning of like, okay, I believe God is closing this door so I can get my crap together and be the person that I said I was going to be and write this book. And so it sucked because I had to leave my brothers out there, and the two of them ended up managing and they ended up flying out a different wrangler to help. But there was nothing that a third guy could just get dropped in and be able to do the job that a brother could do, right?

0:41:57 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah.

0:41:57 - (Remmy Stourac): And so they managed to do it, but, yeah, I had this guilt that I was like, man, I left them behind against my own will, but I have to do justice by them. And so I put my head down and I started writing this fantasy book. And a year and a half later, I wrote it, grimm's prodigies. And I went hard, man. I was like, I'll be the next George R. R. Martin. And I had, like, 63 named characters and family trees and a map built by the first two books in two years.

0:42:27 - (Remmy Stourac): I was going so hard, but I realized I was in the entertainment industry. And not the philanthropy world, because even though I was getting a little bit of traction, I'm like, I keep having to shift the conversation from, oh, yeah, this book's great, but here's what I really want to do with the world and help with kids cancer care and pay it forward, right? And so I'm like, I feel like I'm really not in alignment here.

0:42:51 - (Remmy Stourac): So I ended up finding this app called Shaper, which sadly, doesn't exist anymore, but it was basically tinder but for business people. Okay? And so I'm like, I need to find people who are in nonprofits and living the values that I knew at kids cancer care. I need to be surrounded by people who are being of service for the sake of itself, because I really felt like a black sheep trying to be some guy who didn't have much money, trying to give back and just live this life of servitude while everybody's just going to work and getting their money and going and getting wasted on the weekends. And I just kind of felt alone.

0:43:26 - (Remmy Stourac): And so I ended up meeting this woman named Rachel, who was retired in her early 30s, full time mom because she had built some online assets, and she was just, like, teaching philanthropic business mentorship for the sake of itself. And I was like, oh, my God, you are an angel sent from heaven. And she ended up introducing me to John Maxwell's inner circle, which he's written, like, 83 leadership books, but just genuinely brought me into rooms of extraordinary people who had turned their business into philanthropic empires to fund cleft palate surgeries in Uganda or build rehabs for people after they themselves were cocaine addicts and stuff. And so I was, wow.

0:44:10 - (Remmy Stourac): Like, these are people who are genuinely, finally are holistically well, and they're leading with humility and vulnerability. And that's the first time I saw men being truly vulnerable in front of people and to their wives. And so it just cracked open the paradigm that I previously had of my life. And if I'm like, if I wanted to write a book about gratitude, even my own family, not to speak ill of them, but they're like, who can relate to a cancer surviving horseback guide?

0:44:39 - (Remmy Stourac): It's not going to be a seller. And so I'm like, okay, you guys have a vested interest in me. I'm like, I need your opinion, obviously. And so I kind of diminished my spirit that my actual story itself could be of value. But these people who had turned their turmoil of their life into a fuel to create something bigger than themselves so they could pay it forward they're like, man, you got to do something with that. You have a miraculous story, and there's a lot of substances there. It has nothing to do with the actual journey itself. It's the way that you saw your problems, like, insurmountable things, whether it was cancer or wolves and bears.

0:45:12 - (Remmy Stourac): But your spirit to be like, God didn't bring me here to die. That's it. And there's a reason I came here and stuff, right? And I could pay that forward and that I'm doing the scary things because I'm paying it forward to my friend Davis and just little things like that. I could have a reason to complain and be like, yeah, the world is a dark, scary place, and don't do too much because you'll get your butt kicked, right? But it's like, no, that's why it's exciting.

0:45:34 - (Remmy Stourac): That's why you got to go live, have yourself a story, right? And God forbid his story is that you got your butt kicked and you can laugh with your friends. What a joyous time you can have, too. You can profit off your pain in that sense, too. And so just to captivate that true spirit of gratitude in all the ways that it humbled me for the next two years to actually bring that book to life, where I could celebrate my friend's upbringing and the miraculous and the tragedies that came with it, but the fact that despite all genuine reasons to feel that you could play small in the world, that that was not a choice worth making.

0:46:09 - (Remmy Stourac): And so that became like a war cry that I've been living my life for. For the last five years now.

0:46:15 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. Wow. What a powerful, powerful story. Now, what is the name of the book?

0:46:23 - (Remmy Stourac): It is an arsenal of gratitude. Waging war on mediocrity and regret.

0:46:29 - (Kevin Lowe): What does that kind of mean to you? Waging war on it?

0:46:33 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah. And that's a great question because I could say playing video games and stuff, but I'm like, I play video games. I don't guilt myself for that. Right. There's a cultural conversation that says what a mediocre thing could be, but at the end of the day, it's like you can have simple pleasures that you enjoy and you relax with, but at the end of the day, do you respect yourself? Do you love the person you fundamentally are, or do you feel like you are a great friend to the people in front of you?

0:47:02 - (Remmy Stourac): And so it's more of a calling to listen to your own life. And am I excited for tomorrow? Am I aligning my life in such a way that I see good things are coming, and gratitude in the sense of taking a genuine inventory of all the things that you have in your wheelhouse, in your arsenal to build whatever life you want, because all that you have is all that you got. And so even if it's not much, it has to be enough, because it's all that you have.

0:47:32 - (Remmy Stourac): Right. And so for the people that are bitching and moaning, it's like, that's also choice. And so when I have these friends who grew up and they had every reason in the world to bitch and moan about their experience, they chose not to. And so to have perfectly healthy adults that have chosen to become a victim, I don't take that upon myself, but I just live in such a way where I believe that to be such an audacity that they will look upon me and be like, wow, things are actually pretty good.

0:48:03 - (Remmy Stourac): People can say, like, oh, three heart procedures. Like, oh, that's pretty bad. That sucks. But I say, no. Cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me, and that's a choice. And then I can have a cool conversation with people and be like, yeah, man, here's these things that you say have power over your life. Whether it's depression or a relationship that didn't work out for you, could that become a fuel of flame for your life? Be like, no. The story is going to get way better.

0:48:27 - (Remmy Stourac): Watch me. And just to realign the vision of your life. We're all visionaries. We just don't act like it. Right? It's like, despite these reasons that I have to play small, that's why my story is awesome, that I don't act that way.

0:48:41 - (Kevin Lowe): Yes. Oh, my gosh, dude, I love it so much. And it's through this book that you're donating 10% back to the kids cancer care.

0:48:55 - (Remmy Stourac): Is that right? Yeah, I do it between all of them. Okay. And it's just, like, between my speaking gigs and everything that's come along the way, too. And I just got to say, on that note, it's so evident, too, the way that you speak. And as your brain tumor has brought you to this place of you've lost your vision, but you embody that essence of striving forward valiantly and having these amazing conversations. And so I think you are a walking example of taking your pain and turning it into something powerful. So I just want to say thank you for that, too.

0:49:27 - (Kevin Lowe): Man, oh, man. Well, that means a lot to me. I think that's exactly why I resonate with so much of your story. And what you're all about, because you know what it is. And it does come down to a choice. I often say we can't always depict what's going to happen in our life, but we could always decide how we're going to react to it.

0:49:54 - (Remmy Stourac): Absolutely, buddy.

0:49:55 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, I love it. So, my last question for you is, at this point in your life, all that you've gone through from the hard times, the good times, what does it mean to you to live a life well lived?

0:50:12 - (Remmy Stourac): I mean, I should have a straightforward answer because I've wrote a whole book trying to say exactly that. Right. But the conclusion that I came to is, this is kind of a spiritual answer in the sense of when people say, like, oh, I've transcended through my spirituality. I don't think we transcend. I think when we've actualized ourself as people, it's more of a homecoming to the person that we were fundamentally always capable of being.

0:50:39 - (Remmy Stourac): And to my answer, that is tied in with growing up around survivors. I think if you live like you're dying and act like you're on a timeline, as scary as that is, it's like I only have so much time to make these decisions and that I don't know if I have more than a week. But if I did have a week, I would probably note that this 30 minutes phone call or this hour long podcast that I did today, this is worth remembering. I'm going to write in my gratitude journal, this time with Kevin Lowe. Unbelievable that I could meet all these people in the whole world, but I get to meet this guy who I get to celebrate my story with, and just to really sit in the moment and live from where my feet are grounded and live courageously, because I don't know how many more courageous opportunities are coming, but to act as if time is limited and that the people that you spend time with, just treat it with unbelievable diligence, that you could be doing anything else in the world, but your feet are right here. Are you happy with where they are?

0:51:37 - (Remmy Stourac): And just take accountability. Be like, yes, I am proud, and I am happy, and I'm grateful that these people are in front of me, and this is the people that I get to bring into my atmosphere and overflow to, and these people get to overflow into me. And so that's kind of my version of living like you're dying.

0:51:52 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. I love it. You know, Remy, your story is incredible, but what's more incredible is your outlook on life, because we just have heard a kid who had cancer a kid who went to camp with other kids who had cancer, some who didn't make it back to then. Crazy stories of living out in the wild and all of that is a heck of a story. But then to listen to you getting so deep about life, that's where your superpower is.

0:52:31 - (Kevin Lowe): And I thank you for being here.

0:52:33 - (Remmy Stourac): Yeah, I appreciate you having me, man. You've created something seriously wonderful here. So for anybody that this overflows to, man, I just want to express that extreme gratitude, that time is precious and time invested in the Kevin Lowe podcast is well placed, man. You've created something wonderful.

0:52:51 - (Kevin Lowe): Oh, thank you so much for you listening today. My hope, my prayer as always, is that you are not just entertained through this podcast, but something said by my guest truly impacts your life. And my hope also is that if something said today resonated with you and you think to yourself, man, you know what? I bet my friend would really like to hear this. I encourage you to share today's episode with that friend because, well, that's how we get to make the impact a little bit greater, my friend.

0:53:28 - (Kevin Lowe): I'm Kevin Lowe. This is great grace and inspiration. Get out there and enjoy the day.