Show Transcript

0:00:00 - (Kevin Lowe): Today, we're challenging the negativity. We're switching it to positivity. We're getting focused on you and what you want, not what your subconscious is trying to tell you that you want. What's up, my friend, and welcome to Grit, Grace and Inspiration. I am your host, Kevin Lowe. 20 years ago, I awoke from a life saving surgery only to find that I was left completely blind. And since that day, I've learned a lot about life, a lot about living, and a lot about myself.

0:00:34 - (Kevin Lowe): And here on this podcast, I want to share those insights with you. Because, friend, if you are still searching for your purpose, still trying to understand why, or still left searching for that next right path to take, we'll consider this to be your stepping stone to get you from where you are to where you want to be. As children, we're scared of the monster lurking under our bed. As adults, well, as adults, we get scared of other things, bigger things, like the stranger lurking around the corner.

0:01:11 - (Kevin Lowe): But why is it that we don't get scared of ourselves? Why is it that we aren't fearful of the face staring back at us in the mirror? Because, after all, if you think about it, who beats you up more than anyone else? Who tells you that you're not worthy more than anybody else? Who tells you that you are not beautiful, not handsome? More than anyone else? You. We all do it. I do it to me, you do it to you, it's just a part of life.

0:01:46 - (Kevin Lowe): Or is it? Is it really a part of life? Maybe it's something that we can change, something that we can flip the script on to stop beating ourselves up. And, well, that's what today is all about. In case we haven't met, my name is Kevin Lowe. I am the host of Grace and Inspiration, as well as a transformational life coach. It is my mission to be here on this podcast to bring you something that you can implement in your life.

0:02:20 - (Kevin Lowe): Whether it's a piece of advice, maybe a story that inspires you, or maybe today it's some tactics that you can put in place right away to make tomorrow a little bit better than today. That's what it's about here on the podcast. This is episode number 218, in which we are working to eliminate those self defeating habits. What's powerful about today's topic is that today's topic is something that so many people wrestle with, yet some don't even realize it.

0:03:01 - (Kevin Lowe): Maybe that's you. Maybe you don't even understand what I'm even talking about, and you're immediately thinking, I don't think that pertains to me, but whoa, whoa, whoa. Before you go turning it off and jumping over to another podcast, let me explain. What exactly are self defeating habits anyways? I like to think of them as those pesky little silent saboteurs who are trying their best to stop us from growing into our best selves who are trying to stop us from living out our best lives, who are trying to prevent us from being us.

0:03:43 - (Kevin Lowe): A lot of times this can look like a negative self talk procrastination or having that lovely self doubt that, no, there's no way I could do it. Why am I even trying? That voice in the back of your mind that is there reminding you that you're not able to do this, you're never going to be as good as anybody else, so why are you even trying? Yes, that is what I'm talking about today. Now, why this is so important is because, well, this is holding us back from living our best lives, from achieving our dreams.

0:04:24 - (Kevin Lowe): And to be honest with you, that's no way to be living this life. Our time here on planet Earth is way too short. We got to be sure that we are living it for every second that it's worth as our best selves possible. Now let's talk a little bit more. These self defeating habits, what are they doing to us? How are they negatively affecting your life today? Now, when I'm talking about this topic today, I want you to understand this is that I never want you to think that I'm making light of it. I never want you to think that what I'm talking about is easy.

0:05:06 - (Kevin Lowe): No, it takes work because, well, when we're trying to fight against ourselves, to defend ourselves from our own mind, it's tough. It's not easy. It takes work, it takes effort. But I promise you that if you put in the reps, you're going to see the gains. You just can't give up. You can't try it once and throw in the towel. You have to keep moving forward. Little steps each and every day they add up. They make a difference.

0:05:41 - (Kevin Lowe): I promise. And today, well today I want to give you this boost. I want to give you a head start because I got five actionable tactics that you are going to be able to put in place to kick these self defeating habits to the curb. First step, recognize and reflect. The first step to anything that we want to change in our life is awareness. You've got to identify those moments when you feel stuck or held back.

0:06:10 - (Kevin Lowe): Is it procrastination? Is it negative self talk? Is it telling yourself that you can't? You got to be aware of it because as I said, this is our subconscious. This is stuff we do without even realizing we're doing it. But this is the part where I talk about you got to work on it. You got to start paying attention to your own thoughts. And yes, sometimes our own thoughts can scare us, but start paying attention to them. Pay attention to how many times you're congratulating yourself or how many times you're telling yourself you did it, you're awesome. Way to go.

0:06:51 - (Kevin Lowe): Or the other side of the spectrum, which is more like the case of the negative side of us beating ourselves up, start being aware of it. Start noticing it. And I would encourage you, when you notice it happening, try to remember it. If you have time to bust out a pen and paper, make a little note, do a little journal exercise. If pen and paper isn't your style, well, just grab out your handy dandy phone you've got in your pocket or in this case, probably in your hand already as you're listening to this podcast and pull up the notes and go ahead and jot down a note.

0:07:32 - (Kevin Lowe): Easy enough. You can dictate it. You don't even have to type. I just want you to make a note of how you felt to start realizing and addressing the fact that I am having these thoughts. I am trying to stop myself without even realizing it. But right now, with this exercise, we're letting it be known, we're letting your very thoughts know that you see them, that you're aware of them, and you're coming after them.

0:08:02 - (Kevin Lowe): Step two, I want you to challenge negative self talk. We all have that inner critic. That's just a given. But at this point, what I want you to do is when you catch yourself saying, I can't, I want you to immediately stop and pause and really think about this. Is this really something that you truly, honestly can't do? Or is that just your immediate gut instinct, your immediate reaction to say, no way. This is something new that I've not tried before without ever really investigating whether or not it's possible?

0:08:44 - (Kevin Lowe): That's what I'm doing in this stage, having you stop and counteract it and think about it, and if after you think about it, hopefully maybe you counteract it and you say, you know what? I think I can. Let me figure out a way how, or let me just take a chance and dive right in. An easy example for me to kind of illustrate what I'm talking about is let's use the theme of exercising, of running. What if somebody says to you today, your friend calls you up and says, hey, you want to go for a run tomorrow?

0:09:20 - (Kevin Lowe): And your immediate reaction is, how far are you running? And they say, I do a mile. You immediately, immediately, without even thinking, say, no, I'm out. I'm too busy tomorrow morning. Well, the fact is, last week you ran a half a mile, and you've been running a half a mile for a while now. So why couldn't you maybe run a mile tomorrow? But you didn't even give yourself a chance to think because you allowed that negativity to step in and take over your life.

0:09:56 - (Kevin Lowe): Today we're challenging the negativity. We're switching it to positivity. We're getting focused on you and what you want, not what your subconscious is trying to tell you that you want. The third step of the process. Remember, we got five steps total. So hang with me I hope you're taking notes is right. Now, step three we got to stay present with mindfulness. In our bustling lives, it's easy to operate on autopilot.

0:10:25 - (Kevin Lowe): And guess what? Imagine that. That's where so many of those self defeating habits lie. By practicing mindfulness, by meditating, by deep breathing, by just taking a moment to be with you, you can snap out of these automatic habits. So what I'm saying is just remember that in the busyness of life, when you're going through the motions and the day is cranking by, well, hopefully you've been remembering the previous steps.

0:10:58 - (Kevin Lowe): You've been remembering to pay attention to the thoughts that you're having. You're remembering to address them when you do have them. And now you just remember that you got to get grounded in you. Don't let your life be caught up in the hustle and bustle. Don't go through the day and get home at night and not even have a clue what you did that day. Because, good gracious, what does that really serve?

0:11:26 - (Kevin Lowe): I believe your life is way more important, way more impactful than to be living like that. I encourage you to slow down, to get present in the moment, to enjoy every breath you take. They're precious. It can be gone in an instant. Enjoy it, recognize it, and just start living. When it comes to defeating these self defeating habits, when we want to bust them down and get rid of them, sometimes we got to set and celebrate small goals, tiny goals, incremental goals to remind you that you are on the right path.

0:12:08 - (Kevin Lowe): So what I'm saying is I want you to dream big. My goodness, do not put away those dreams. You better dream big, but you got to start small, because big dreams are nice, but you got to break them down. You got to give yourself a little trail to follow because, well, if you only just focus on the big prize at the end and you never congratulate yourself for all the little victories, well, I feel like we're selling ourselves short on life, on the experience of getting to that big prize at the end.

0:12:44 - (Kevin Lowe): And in terms of this that we're talking about today, by celebrating, well, it's boosting your confidence. It's reminding you that, you know what? You're darn right. I am doing good. And in the end, all you're doing is building your resilience against the self defeating habits, trying to get in your way. Remember, you got stuff to do in life. You got places to go, things to do, and we ain't got time for no self defeating habits.

0:13:17 - (Kevin Lowe): That is the point in this episode. Lastly, step number five, realize you ain't in this life alone. Don't do it alone. Get a support team. Get a group of friends. Get your family behind you. If you want to work on improving your life by bettering yourself, making yourself become a better version of you, well, then, baby, you get you some people behind you. Now, you don't just go out there getting anybody.

0:13:46 - (Kevin Lowe): No, we got to get people who are also on the same path as you, people who are going to be that rising tide, and together, you all will lift all the boats in the harbor. That's what I'm talking about. So find a group, get connected with people, and do this life together to wrap up. I want to remind you of why you're doing this in the first place, why you're putting yourself first, why you're even focusing on this.

0:14:17 - (Kevin Lowe): It's because you matter. Your dreams matter. Your aspirations matter. What you want out of life is of utmost importance, and I don't want you to ever let anyone, including yourself, stand in the way. I want you to keep reminding yourself that you are amazing. Keep reminding yourself that you are able, you are capable, and you are deserving of having all that you want in this life. Remember, challenge every negative thought that you have.

0:14:48 - (Kevin Lowe): Celebrate the little wins. And on the pathway to success, you deserve to celebrate every win along the way. That's what this is all about. Until next time, I challenge you to keep growing, to keep reflecting, to keep becoming a better version of you. My name is Kevin Lowe, your host and man. I hope you've enjoyed today's episode. If it resonated with you and you thought, you know what? I bet my best friend Sally would love this.

0:15:22 - (Kevin Lowe): Or I got my budy Ken who needs to hear this. Please share it with them. Don't keep it to yourself. Share it with a friend. Let them know what's up here on Grit Grayson inspiration. Get out there. Take on the day, enjoy the day. And I'm just grateful to be on this journey with.