Show Notes

In this heartfelt and emotional interview, we explore the inspiring journey of John Boyle, who overcame adversity to become a Harvard Business School graduate and published author. If you've ever felt held back by your past, doubted your potential, or struggled to overcome childhood trauma, this episode is for you.

Looking for the Links?


John Boyle's journey from a troubled home to Harvard Business School will show you that your past doesn't define your future. You'll discover how to harness your experiences, both good and bad, to fuel your success and create the life you've always dreamed of.

What's This All About?

From a coal mining town in West Virginia to the halls of Harvard Business School, John Boyle's life is a testament to the power of resilience. Listen as he shares intimate details of his turbulent childhood, the pivotal moments that changed his trajectory, and the mentors who believed in him when no one else did. This episode is a raw and emotional journey that will inspire you to overcome your own obstacles and reach for your dreams.


Some Key Points:

  • Listen as John shares his experience growing up in a violent home and its impact on his early life.
  • Discover the pivotal role that mentors and teachers played in John's transformation.
  • Take inspiration from John's academic achievement to go from learning difficulties to graduating from Harvard Business School.


And that is literally not even half of it! Just listen - You'll not be disappointed!


Today's Featured Guest

John Boyle is the author of "Appalachian Kid" and a Harvard Business School graduate. Growing up in a small coal mining town in West Virginia, John overcame a violent home environment and academic struggles to become a successful civil engineer. His inspiring journey from near failure in school to academic excellence and professional success serves as a powerful example of resilience and the transformative power of education and mentorship.


Hey, it's Kevin!


I hope you enjoyed today's episode! If there is ever anything I can do for you please don't hesitate to reach out. Below, you will find ALL the places and ALL the ways to connect!




Stay Awesome! Live Inspired!

© 2024 Grit, Grace, & Inspiration

Show Transcript

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Kevin Lowe: If you clicked on today's episode, expecting a heartwarming conversation with



00:00:06.639 --> 00:00:12.119


Kevin Lowe: a guy who shares his life story about growing up in a small coal mining town



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Kevin Lowe: in West Virginia to getting to where he is today,



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Kevin Lowe: graduating from Harvard Business School, from becoming a published author with



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Kevin Lowe: his book, Appalachian Kid,



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Kevin Lowe: well then you found the right place.



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Kevin Lowe: Because today is a story about a kid who had every bit of adversity one could expect.



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Kevin Lowe: And yet he overcame.



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Kevin Lowe: Today is a story that I think can pull at your heartstrings,



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Kevin Lowe: can pull at your emotions, but more than anything else, can leave you realizing



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Kevin Lowe: that anything is possible.



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Kevin Lowe: Sometimes we just got to work at it. We got to keep going.



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Kevin Lowe: And in the end, well, you have a story to tell.



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Kevin Lowe: Today is an interview with John Boyle, the author of Appalachian Kid, A story of his life.



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Kevin Lowe: A story that's going to guide today's conversation.



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Kevin Lowe: My friend, it's episode 327. I'm glad you're here. I look forward to seeing you inside.



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Intro: Yo, are you ready to flip the script on life? Because those bad days,



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Intro: they're just doors to better days.



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Intro: And that's exactly what we do here at Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.



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Intro: Your host, Kevin Lowe. He's been flipping the script on his own life,



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Intro: Turning over 20 years of being completely blind into straight up inspiration,



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Intro: motivation, and encouragement just for you.



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Intro: So, kick back, relax, and let me introduce you to your host, Kevin Lowe.



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Kevin Lowe: John, man, welcome to the podcast, dude. It is a pleasure to have you.



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John Boyle: Thank you so much, Kevin. I've been looking forward to this since we talked



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John Boyle: a month ago. Yeah. And it's an honor to be on your show.



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Kevin Lowe: Oh, man. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely, dude. Well, John, I'm excited for us to



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Kevin Lowe: explore kind of this entire kind of life's journey you've been on.



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Kevin Lowe: And I would love for you to just kind of take us back in time.



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Kevin Lowe: Put us in the place of childhood. Where did you grow up? What was childhood



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Kevin Lowe: like for you? Just kind of paint that picture.



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Kevin Lowe: And I figured that would be an awesome starting point.



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John Boyle: Absolutely. I would be happy to. If I get too long-winded, you let me know, Kevin.



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John Boyle: I grew up in a small mining community in Kingwood, West Virginia.



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John Boyle: It's a town of 2,000 people, and it's on the border of Maryland and Pennsylvania.



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John Boyle: And where I grew up was just up in the mountains. It's a farming and mining community.



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John Boyle: And growing up, it was a beautiful place. It was a safe place.



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John Boyle: It was somewhere where you could go out and you could ride your bike and not



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John Boyle: come home until it was dark.



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John Boyle: And I always played outside and with my friends.



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John Boyle: And I love the area and the people.



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John Boyle: And really, I couldn't have asked to grow up in a better place, Kevin.



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John Boyle: But when I was growing up, I didn't know it until I was older.



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John Boyle: But I grew up in a violent home. You know, when you're a little kid,



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John Boyle: you don't know how to compare your circumstances with someone else's.



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John Boyle: You're just doing the best you can to get from one day to the next.



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John Boyle: And maybe that's a really high level summary.



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John Boyle: But growing up in those circumstances, Kevin, it gave me a lot of difficulty.



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John Boyle: And as I, you know, from my earliest memories until, you know,



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John Boyle: well into elementary school, I really had a lot of difficulty and it stemmed



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John Boyle: from, you know, violence in the home.



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John Boyle: And, you know, look, this is something that just isn't isolated to me.



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John Boyle: This is quite common in our society.



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John Boyle: And the children who grow up under those circumstances carry the ramifications



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John Boyle: of those actions with them into adulthood.



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John Boyle: And so my childhood was great in many senses.



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John Boyle: And I have to this day, Kevin, my closest of friends are the ones I grew up



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John Boyle: with in Preston County, West Virginia.



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John Boyle: And so I, again, I couldn't have asked for better circumstances.



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John Boyle: However, there was a great deal of adversity, especially in childhood and into



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John Boyle: high school and college. Yeah.



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Kevin Lowe: Now, did you grow up with brothers and sisters?



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John Boyle: Yes. I had three younger sisters, or have three younger sisters rather,



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John Boyle: and I was the oldest and the only male.



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Kevin Lowe: Okay. Wow.



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Kevin Lowe: You said, you know, the thing of, you know, when you're growing up and you're



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Kevin Lowe: a kid, you don't you don't realize that anything's different about the way you're growing up.



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Kevin Lowe: How old were you when you realized, wait a minute, this isn't normal?



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John Boyle: Well, I would say first or second grade, maybe third grade in that area.



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John Boyle: There would be family members who would come to our house and kind of witness



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John Boyle: some of the treatment, so to speak, ill-advised treatment, really.



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John Boyle: And I could tell from the reactions from my aunt, especially, that it wasn't kosher.



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John Boyle: And so I began to have radar towards that treatment.



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John Boyle: And really, when I realized that this wasn't going on in everyone's home was



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John Boyle: when I started to have sleepovers at friends' houses or go to friends' houses after school.



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John Boyle: And, you know, I would hear, you know, their parents say little things like,



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John Boyle: I love you. You know, those were things that I didn't hear in my home.



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John Boyle: And I'm not trying to pick on my parents. That's just the way it was.



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John Boyle: And, you know, just the overall treatment and what they incurred in their home



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John Boyle: and what I incurred in mine was quite different.



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John Boyle: And that's when I began to see that there was something going on in my home



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John Boyle: that didn't go on in everyone's. Yeah, absolutely.



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Kevin Lowe: How did that then impact kind of the rest of your childhood?



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John Boyle: Overwhelmingly. As time went



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John Boyle: on, Kevin, third and fourth grade became exceedingly difficult for me.



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John Boyle: I started to be sent to the classroom where there were readers that were behind



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John Boyle: or kids that were behind in math. It was almost like I was impaired.



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John Boyle: And really what was going on,



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John Boyle: Kevin, I was displaying symptoms of a mental disorder I didn't know I had.



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John Boyle: And so I would disassociate with my surroundings at school, especially after



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John Boyle: something troubling had happened in my home.



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John Boyle: And, you know, when I was disassociating in school, I was typecast by many of



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John Boyle: my teachers as being lazy and a daydreamer.



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John Boyle: And that really enraged my father because he didn't like laziness, right? Right.



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John Boyle: And so I would incur punishment on top of the abuse from my mom for having bad



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John Boyle: grades and not being able to function in school.



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John Boyle: And one played off another and my grades got worse. Those actions didn't do any good for me.



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John Boyle: And by sixth grade, Kevin, I almost failed. I almost failed.



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John Boyle: I almost failed sixth grade.



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John Boyle: And I remember distinctly, Kevin, going to a parent teacher conference with



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John Boyle: both of my parents. And I remember my sixth grade teacher looking at my parents



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John Boyle: and saying, this kid will never make it to college, much less graduate.



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John Boyle: And so that was my elementary school years and junior high didn't get any easier.



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Kevin Lowe: Wow. Wow, wow, wow. During this time in your life that we're up to at this point, was there anything?



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Kevin Lowe: I mean, we talk about school is tough. We talked about home life is really hard.



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Kevin Lowe: Was there anything or anyone, though, that you kind of clung to that maybe got



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Kevin Lowe: you through it looking back?



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John Boyle: That's a great question. And not to foreshadow the ending of my book,



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John Boyle: but that is the ending of my book.



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John Boyle: The ending of my book, Kevin, is that my life is a miracle and that I didn't



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John Boyle: realize that when I was a kid, but God put people in my life that gave me enough to get from A to B.



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John Boyle: My dad's friend, best friend growing up was a guy named Jeff.



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John Boyle: And he used to take me, you know, hunting. He used to take me fishing.



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John Boyle: You know, we would go camping.



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John Boyle: He had some kids, but younger than me.



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John Boyle: And before he had children, he spent time with me. And it really left an impression on me.



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John Boyle: I had an aunt who from the youngest years I can remember was always defending me.



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John Boyle: And if she saw treatment that I shouldn't be receiving at home,



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John Boyle: she would be vocal about it. But she was the only one that really spoke up and



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John Boyle: even to this day continues to speak up and say it's wrong.



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John Boyle: There were others, you know, friends. My best friend Moose to this day,



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John Boyle: you know, he used to walk me from class to class in junior high to make sure no one picked on me.



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John Boyle: There were so many people that God put in my life that changed it.



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John Boyle: And all through my life, there were people that just it just changed the trajectory.



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John Boyle: And when I got to high school, Kevin, I didn't say this part,



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John Boyle: but from about fifth grade on, as a young man, I just took the approach that



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John Boyle: when I was hit, I was going to defend myself.



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John Boyle: And that made the reaction from my mother much more vicious.



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John Boyle: And to be honest with you, as a child, I really didn't care.



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John Boyle: I saw it as no one's going to protect me, so I'm going to do it.



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John Boyle: And And right, wrong, or indifferent, that's what happened.



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John Boyle: And so there became a dynamic in my home where there were altercations constantly, constantly.



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John Boyle: And by the time I was 14 or 15, you know, it was happening quite frequent.



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John Boyle: And my father pitched the idea that I could go to a boarding school.



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John Boyle: And really, that was my way out. And when I went to that boarding school at



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John Boyle: 15, I was a sophomore. more.



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John Boyle: And when I got to that school, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.



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John Boyle: I may say that over and over, but there were many good things that happened to me.



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John Boyle: And I can't stress that enough.



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John Boyle: This is not a story about those who did me wrong.



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John Boyle: This is a story about the goodness of God.



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John Boyle: And he placed all of these teachers in my world from 15 to 18 that took a kid



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John Boyle: that almost failed 10th grade again,



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John Boyle: Kevin, was next to last in my class and just mightily struggling because I didn't



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John Boyle: have a good educational background.



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John Boyle: I was disassociated all through elementary school and much of junior high.



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John Boyle: And I'm not making excuses.



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John Boyle: That's just my journey. And so there were many, many teachers there.



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John Boyle: My English teacher, my math teacher, my football coach, my Spanish teacher, the head of school.



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John Boyle: These people plowed into me and didn't have to, too, but they did and it changed my life.



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Kevin Lowe: Wow.



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John Boyle: That's the essence of mentorship right there.



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Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely.



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Kevin Lowe: Before kind of moving forward, did your sisters endure the same treatment as you?



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John Boyle: You know, Kevin, I don't really write about my sisters in my book.



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John Boyle: I do in a few stories about my childhood just to give the story the proper context.



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John Boyle: But, you know, from my vantage point, they certainly had it difficult.



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John Boyle: I don't know that they had it as difficult as I did. But honestly,



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John Boyle: that's something that they would have to answer.



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John Boyle: I really, you know, I really left the house at 15 and I didn't come back.



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Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Okay. So at boarding school, you spoke about that was really kind of a,



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Kevin Lowe: I would consider a pivotal shift, a positive shift forward.



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Kevin Lowe: Were there any other kind of standout moments when you look back at that period



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Kevin Lowe: in time that you feel like was really pivotal in getting you kind of on the



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Kevin Lowe: course that you ended up taking that's led to kind of where you are today?



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John Boyle: Yeah. The first image that comes into my mind when you ask that is the day that



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John Boyle: I left West Virginia and went to Salzburg, Pennsylvania.



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John Boyle: The name of the boarding school was the Kiske School.



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John Boyle: And until this year, it was all male. And there was when I pulled up to my when



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John Boyle: my family pulled up to the dorm to drop me off, there was a man standing outside.



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John Boyle: The dorm's name was Clark Hall.



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John Boyle: I remember it well. It was in the fall of 1992.



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John Boyle: And there was a man standing outside the doors with a Kiske ball cap.



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John Boyle: And I was the first student to move in the dorm that day. And just that handoff, Kevin,



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John Boyle: was so symbolic for me and looking back at it to see a man who was welcoming,



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John Boyle: who said, we're glad to have you here and I'm going to help you get oriented.



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John Boyle: And we're looking forward to spending this year with you. just things like that.



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John Boyle: It just, it just gave me a feeling of I'm welcome.



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John Boyle: That man, his name's Mark Orsatti and he's still a teacher there.



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John Boyle: And when I, when I launched my book, did my, my book opening in September of



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John Boyle: 23, I did it at that school and he showed up and I told that story,



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John Boyle: Kevin, and I said it to everybody there.



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John Boyle: And I looked over at him and he was just, I mean, just crying his eyes out.



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John Boyle: Wow. And it was so cool for me because I don't know that he ever knew that. Right.



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John Boyle: When you're a mentor, I don't think, you know, the impact that you have on a child.



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John Boyle: And I think to get feedback like that, well, obviously it meant something to him too.



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John Boyle: So there were many other moments, Kevin, I don't want to ramble here.



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John Boyle: So you cut me off if I am, but you know, my first grade reading,



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John Boyle: the head of school reads your grades to you.



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John Boyle: There's only about 200 students in the school. So it's pretty personable.



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John Boyle: And his name was Mr. Pigeon. And he read my grades to me. And he told me I was last in the class.



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John Boyle: And Kevin, he didn't tear into me. He didn't tell me that I was going to be



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John Boyle: nothing but a truck driver and that I was stupid and the things that I used



00:14:14.271 --> 00:14:19.071


John Boyle: to hear about my grades. He just said, John, your effort grades are B's.



00:14:19.191 --> 00:14:22.451


John Boyle: And if you get them up to A's, you'll be my hero.



00:14:23.471 --> 00:14:29.391


John Boyle: He didn't he didn't land base me over having 60 and 70 percent in certain classes.



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John Boyle: And and I'll give you one over. He didn't do it all year.



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Kevin Lowe: Yeah.



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John Boyle: And he just stood beside me. And there were dorm parents in a dorm at Kiske.



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John Boyle: There are family housing connected to the dorm. So you're more or less in a



00:14:44.631 --> 00:14:49.491


John Boyle: family atmosphere and you have what's called dorm parents and those dorm parents are teachers.



00:14:49.811 --> 00:14:54.251


John Boyle: And one of the men there was a guy named Dr. Lane and he taught me how to study.



00:14:54.331 --> 00:15:01.071


John Boyle: And my junior year, my football coach really helped me get more prepared in



00:15:01.071 --> 00:15:05.691


John Boyle: the season before I started school. school, I came back with an idea of what



00:15:05.691 --> 00:15:06.871


John Boyle: I was getting myself into.



00:15:06.971 --> 00:15:11.651


John Boyle: And my first grade reading, my junior year, I made the honor roll for the first time in my life.



00:15:11.831 --> 00:15:13.931


John Boyle: And I think it shocked anybody that knew me.



00:15:14.151 --> 00:15:17.711


John Boyle: But the man that was happiest for me was the guy who taught me how to study,



00:15:17.851 --> 00:15:21.231


John Boyle: Dr. Lane. And he was a man's man, tough.



00:15:21.831 --> 00:15:25.451


John Boyle: And he gave me a hug when I told him. He couldn't have been happier.



00:15:25.631 --> 00:15:29.311


John Boyle: And those moments, I can't express how much they meant to me.



00:15:29.671 --> 00:15:30.451


Kevin Lowe: And I



00:15:30.451 --> 00:15:31.471


John Boyle: Write about in my book.



00:15:31.471 --> 00:15:38.331


Kevin Lowe: Yeah yeah absolutely the the power of of a mentor the power of a teacher the



00:15:38.331 --> 00:15:43.911


Kevin Lowe: power of somebody just shows a kid that they care it's profound it



00:15:43.911 --> 00:15:45.911


John Boyle: Is and when you grow up like me it's critical.



00:15:45.911 --> 00:15:46.451


Kevin Lowe: Absolutely



00:15:47.725 --> 00:15:55.265


Kevin Lowe: So in sixth grade, you were told you would never graduate. You would never amount to anything.



00:15:55.545 --> 00:15:59.265


Kevin Lowe: But obviously that was wrong.



00:15:59.545 --> 00:16:04.965


Kevin Lowe: Talk to me about life continuing out of high school. What happens?



00:16:05.425 --> 00:16:13.605


John Boyle: Well, I graduated high school in the summer before I graduated college or went to college. I'm sorry.



00:16:13.945 --> 00:16:17.765


John Boyle: In between the summer when I graduated high school and started college,



00:16:18.005 --> 00:16:23.145


John Boyle: I had worked for my family business, which was in road construction for years at this point.



00:16:23.365 --> 00:16:29.885


John Boyle: And I started to realize, I started to consume alcohol and I started to realize



00:16:29.885 --> 00:16:37.385


John Boyle: that alcohol covered up some of the symptoms I was having that I didn't know I had a mental disorder.



00:16:37.545 --> 00:16:40.985


John Boyle: I didn't know what was going on with me at this point. But even through high



00:16:40.985 --> 00:16:48.425


John Boyle: school and certainly became more pronounced in college, I began to suffer from bouts of insomnia.



00:16:48.565 --> 00:16:50.605


John Boyle: I mean, bouts of it for weeks and weeks.



00:16:50.825 --> 00:16:59.485


John Boyle: I was having flashbacks and just negative memories that were coming into my



00:16:59.485 --> 00:17:01.105


John Boyle: brain for no apparent reason.



00:17:01.185 --> 00:17:04.305


John Boyle: They were being triggered by smells and sights and thoughts.



00:17:04.505 --> 00:17:07.725


John Boyle: And I just didn't know anything about them, right?



00:17:07.845 --> 00:17:13.885


John Boyle: So I was having difficulty when you peel back the onion or peel back the curtain



00:17:13.885 --> 00:17:17.405


John Boyle: to my private life that no one was seeing.



00:17:17.565 --> 00:17:22.045


John Boyle: And I would have chronic muscle tenseness. I was having nightmares.



00:17:22.545 --> 00:17:27.985


John Boyle: My fight or flight response would get stuck on. And I would feel like there



00:17:27.985 --> 00:17:30.485


John Boyle: was a bomb threat called in for no reason whatsoever.



00:17:30.865 --> 00:17:35.385


John Boyle: And so I really had a lot of difficulty. And what I figured out was that alcohol



00:17:35.385 --> 00:17:37.005


John Boyle: covered up a lot of these symptoms.



00:17:37.385 --> 00:17:42.945


John Boyle: So I began drinking. And when I went to college, I went to the number one party



00:17:42.945 --> 00:17:45.445


John Boyle: school in the United States. I went to West Virginia University.



00:17:46.393 --> 00:17:51.433


John Boyle: And I went to the School of Engineering. And so by my fourth day of college,



00:17:51.533 --> 00:17:53.973


John Boyle: Kevin, I was arrested for driving under the influence.



00:17:54.313 --> 00:17:59.413


John Boyle: And it was really a, no pun intended, a sobering moment for me.



00:17:59.633 --> 00:18:06.653


John Boyle: And it really got me back on track and made me realize very early that I was



00:18:06.653 --> 00:18:09.373


John Boyle: becoming someone that I didn't intend to be.



00:18:09.493 --> 00:18:14.793


John Boyle: And that those actions really blemished the work that I'd done in my life thus



00:18:14.793 --> 00:18:19.553


John Boyle: far. And so I was able to get my focus back on track.



00:18:19.793 --> 00:18:25.213


John Boyle: I graduated from the School of Engineering, the civil

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