Show Notes

In this heartfelt and emotional interview, we explore the inspiring journey of John Boyle, who overcame adversity to become a Harvard Business School graduate and published author. If you've ever felt held back by your past, doubted your potential, or struggled to overcome childhood trauma, this episode is for you.

Looking for the Links?


John Boyle's journey from a troubled home to Harvard Business School will show you that your past doesn't define your future. You'll discover how to harness your experiences, both good and bad, to fuel your success and create the life you've always dreamed of.

What's This All About?

From a coal mining town in West Virginia to the halls of Harvard Business School, John Boyle's life is a testament to the power of resilience. Listen as he shares intimate details of his turbulent childhood, the pivotal moments that changed his trajectory, and the mentors who believed in him when no one else did. This episode is a raw and emotional journey that will inspire you to overcome your own obstacles and reach for your dreams.


Some Key Points:

  • Listen as John shares his experience growing up in a violent home and its impact on his early life.
  • Discover the pivotal role that mentors and teachers played in John's transformation.
  • Take inspiration from John's academic achievement to go from learning difficulties to graduating from Harvard Business School.


And that is literally not even half of it! Just listen - You'll not be disappointed!


Today's Featured Guest

John Boyle is the author of "Appalachian Kid" and a Harvard Business School graduate. Growing up in a small coal mining town in West Virginia, John overcame a violent home environment and academic struggles to become a successful civil engineer. His inspiring journey from near failure in school to academic excellence and professional success serves as a powerful example of resilience and the transformative power of education and mentorship.


Hey, it's Kevin!


I hope you enjoyed today's episode! If there is ever anything I can do for you please don't hesitate to reach out. Below, you will find ALL the places and ALL the ways to connect!




Stay Awesome! Live Inspired!

© 2024 Grit, Grace, & Inspiration

Show Transcript

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Kevin Lowe: If you clicked on today's episode, expecting a heartwarming conversation with



00:00:06.639 --> 00:00:12.119


Kevin Lowe: a guy who shares his life story about growing up in a small coal mining town



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Kevin Lowe: in West Virginia to getting to where he is today,



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Kevin Lowe: graduating from Harvard Business School, from becoming a published author with



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Kevin Lowe: his book, Appalachian Kid,



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Kevin Lowe: well then you found the right place.



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Kevin Lowe: Because today is a story about a kid who had every bit of adversity one could expect.



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Kevin Lowe: And yet he overcame.



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Kevin Lowe: Today is a story that I think can pull at your heartstrings,



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Kevin Lowe: can pull at your emotions, but more than anything else, can leave you realizing



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Kevin Lowe: that anything is possible.



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Kevin Lowe: Sometimes we just got to work at it. We got to keep going.



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Kevin Lowe: And in the end, well, you have a story to tell.



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Kevin Lowe: Today is an interview with John Boyle, the author of Appalachian Kid, A story of his life.



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Kevin Lowe: A story that's going to guide today's conversation.



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Kevin Lowe: My friend, it's episode 327. I'm glad you're here. I look forward to seeing you inside.



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Intro: Yo, are you ready to flip the script on life? Because those bad days,



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Intro: they're just doors to better days.



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Intro: And that's exactly what we do here at Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.



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Intro: Your host, Kevin Lowe. He's been flipping the script on his own life,



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Intro: Turning over 20 years of being completely blind into straight up inspiration,



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Intro: motivation, and encouragement just for you.



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Intro: So, kick back, relax, and let me introduce you to your host, Kevin Lowe.



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Kevin Lowe: John, man, welcome to the podcast, dude. It is a pleasure to have you.



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John Boyle: Thank you so much, Kevin. I've been looking forward to this since we talked



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John Boyle: a month ago. Yeah. And it's an honor to be on your show.



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Kevin Lowe: Oh, man. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely, dude. Well, John, I'm excited for us to



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Kevin Lowe: explore kind of this entire kind of life's journey you've been on.



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Kevin Lowe: And I would love for you to just kind of take us back in time.



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Kevin Lowe: Put us in the place of childhood. Where did you grow up? What was childhood



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Kevin Lowe: like for you? Just kind of paint that picture.



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Kevin Lowe: And I figured that would be an awesome starting point.



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John Boyle: Absolutely. I would be happy to. If I get too long-winded, you let me know, Kevin.



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John Boyle: I grew up in a small mining community in Kingwood, West Virginia.



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John Boyle: It's a town of 2,000 people, and it's on the border of Maryland and Pennsylvania.



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John Boyle: And where I grew up was just up in the mountains. It's a farming and mining community.



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John Boyle: And growing up, it was a beautiful place. It was a safe place.



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John Boyle: It was somewhere where you could go out and you could ride your bike and not



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John Boyle: come home until it was dark.



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John Boyle: And I always played outside and with my friends.



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John Boyle: And I love the area and the people.



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John Boyle: And really, I couldn't have asked to grow up in a better place, Kevin.



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John Boyle: But when I was growing up, I didn't know it until I was older.



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John Boyle: But I grew up in a violent home. You know, when you're a little kid,



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John Boyle: you don't know how to compare your circumstances with someone else's.



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John Boyle: You're just doing the best you can to get from one day to the next.



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John Boyle: And maybe that's a really high level summary.



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John Boyle: But growing up in those circumstances, Kevin, it gave me a lot of difficulty.



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John Boyle: And as I, you know, from my earliest memories until, you know,



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John Boyle: well into elementary school, I really had a lot of difficulty and it stemmed



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John Boyle: from, you know, violence in the home.



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John Boyle: And, you know, look, this is something that just isn't isolated to me.



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John Boyle: This is quite common in our society.



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John Boyle: And the children who grow up under those circumstances carry the ramifications



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John Boyle: of those actions with them into adulthood.



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John Boyle: And so my childhood was great in many senses.



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John Boyle: And I have to this day, Kevin, my closest of friends are the ones I grew up



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John Boyle: with in Preston County, West Virginia.



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John Boyle: And so I, again, I couldn't have asked for better circumstances.



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John Boyle: However, there was a great deal of adversity, especially in childhood and into



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John Boyle: high school and college. Yeah.



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Kevin Lowe: Now, did you grow up with brothers and sisters?



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John Boyle: Yes. I had three younger sisters, or have three younger sisters rather,



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John Boyle: and I was the oldest and the only male.



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Kevin Lowe: Okay. Wow.



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Kevin Lowe: You said, you know, the thing of, you know, when you're growing up and you're



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Kevin Lowe: a kid, you don't you don't realize that anything's different about the way you're growing up.



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Kevin Lowe: How old were you when you realized, wait a minute, this isn't normal?



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John Boyle: Well, I would say first or second grade, maybe third grade in that area.



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John Boyle: There would be family members who would come to our house and kind of witness



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John Boyle: some of the treatment, so to speak, ill-advised treatment, really.



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John Boyle: And I could tell from the reactions from my aunt, especially, that it wasn't kosher.



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John Boyle: And so I began to have radar towards that treatment.



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John Boyle: And really, when I realized that this wasn't going on in everyone's home was



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John Boyle: when I started to have sleepovers at friends' houses or go to friends' houses after school.



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John Boyle: And, you know, I would hear, you know, their parents say little things like,



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John Boyle: I love you. You know, those were things that I didn't hear in my home.



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John Boyle: And I'm not trying to pick on my parents. That's just the way it was.



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John Boyle: And, you know, just the overall treatment and what they incurred in their home



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John Boyle: and what I incurred in mine was quite different.



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John Boyle: And that's when I began to see that there was something going on in my home



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John Boyle: that didn't go on in everyone's. Yeah, absolutely.



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Kevin Lowe: How did that then impact kind of the rest of your childhood?



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John Boyle: Overwhelmingly. As time went



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John Boyle: on, Kevin, third and fourth grade became exceedingly difficult for me.



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John Boyle: I started to be sent to the classroom where there were readers that were behind



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John Boyle: or kids that were behind in math. It was almost like I was impaired.



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John Boyle: And really what was going on,



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John Boyle: Kevin, I was displaying symptoms of a mental disorder I didn't know I had.



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John Boyle: And so I would disassociate with my surroundings at school, especially after



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John Boyle: something troubling had happened in my home.



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John Boyle: And, you know, when I was disassociating in school, I was typecast by many of



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John Boyle: my teachers as being lazy and a daydreamer.



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John Boyle: And that really enraged my father because he didn't like laziness, right? Right.



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John Boyle: And so I would incur punishment on top of the abuse from my mom for having bad



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John Boyle: grades and not being able to function in school.



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John Boyle: And one played off another and my grades got worse. Those actions didn't do any good for me.



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John Boyle: And by sixth grade, Kevin, I almost failed. I almost failed.



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John Boyle: I almost failed sixth grade.



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John Boyle: And I remember distinctly, Kevin, going to a parent teacher conference with



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John Boyle: both of my parents. And I remember my sixth grade teacher looking at my parents



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John Boyle: and saying, this kid will never make it to college, much less graduate.



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John Boyle: And so that was my elementary school years and junior high didn't get any easier.



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Kevin Lowe: Wow. Wow, wow, wow. During this time in your life that we're up to at this point, was there anything?



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Kevin Lowe: I mean, we talk about school is tough. We talked about home life is really hard.



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Kevin Lowe: Was there anything or anyone, though, that you kind of clung to that maybe got



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Kevin Lowe: you through it looking back?



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John Boyle: That's a great question. And not to foreshadow the ending of my book,



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John Boyle: but that is the ending of my book.



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John Boyle: The ending of my book, Kevin, is that my life is a miracle and that I didn't



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John Boyle: realize that when I was a kid, but God put people in my life that gave me enough to get from A to B.



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John Boyle: My dad's friend, best friend growing up was a guy named Jeff.



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John Boyle: And he used to take me, you know, hunting. He used to take me fishing.



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John Boyle: You know, we would go camping.



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John Boyle: He had some kids, but younger than me.



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John Boyle: And before he had children, he spent time with me. And it really left an impression on me.



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John Boyle: I had an aunt who from the youngest years I can remember was always defending me.



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John Boyle: And if she saw treatment that I shouldn't be receiving at home,



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John Boyle: she would be vocal about it. But she was the only one that really spoke up and



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John Boyle: even to this day continues to speak up and say it's wrong.



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John Boyle: There were others, you know, friends. My best friend Moose to this day,



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John Boyle: you know, he used to walk me from class to class in junior high to make sure no one picked on me.



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John Boyle: There were so many people that God put in my life that changed it.



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John Boyle: And all through my life, there were people that just it just changed the trajectory.



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John Boyle: And when I got to high school, Kevin, I didn't say this part,



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John Boyle: but from about fifth grade on, as a young man, I just took the approach that



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John Boyle: when I was hit, I was going to defend myself.



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John Boyle: And that made the reaction from my mother much more vicious.



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John Boyle: And to be honest with you, as a child, I really didn't care.



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John Boyle: I saw it as no one's going to protect me, so I'm going to do it.



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John Boyle: And And right, wrong, or indifferent, that's what happened.



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John Boyle: And so there became a dynamic in my home where there were altercations constantly, constantly.



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John Boyle: And by the time I was 14 or 15, you know, it was happening quite frequent.



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John Boyle: And my father pitched the idea that I could go to a boarding school.



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John Boyle: And really, that was my way out. And when I went to that boarding school at



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John Boyle: 15, I was a sophomore. more.



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John Boyle: And when I got to that school, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.



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John Boyle: I may say that over and over, but there were many good things that happened to me.



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John Boyle: And I can't stress that enough.



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John Boyle: This is not a story about those who did me wrong.



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John Boyle: This is a story about the goodness of God.



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John Boyle: And he placed all of these teachers in my world from 15 to 18 that took a kid



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John Boyle: that almost failed 10th grade again,



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John Boyle: Kevin, was next to last in my class and just mightily struggling because I didn't



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John Boyle: have a good educational background.



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John Boyle: I was disassociated all through elementary school and much of junior high.



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John Boyle: And I'm not making excuses.



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John Boyle: That's just my journey. And so there were many, many teachers there.



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John Boyle: My English teacher, my math teacher, my football coach, my Spanish teacher, the head of school.



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John Boyle: These people plowed into me and didn't have to, too, but they did and it changed my life.



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Kevin Lowe: Wow.



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John Boyle: That's the essence of mentorship right there.



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Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely.



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Kevin Lowe: Before kind of moving forward, did your sisters endure the same treatment as you?



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John Boyle: You know, Kevin, I don't really write about my sisters in my book.



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John Boyle: I do in a few stories about my childhood just to give the story the proper context.



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John Boyle: But, you know, from my vantage point, they certainly had it difficult.



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John Boyle: I don't know that they had it as difficult as I did. But honestly,



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John Boyle: that's something that they would have to answer.



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John Boyle: I really, you know, I really left the house at 15 and I didn't come back.



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Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Okay. So at boarding school, you spoke about that was really kind of a,



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Kevin Lowe: I would consider a pivotal shift, a positive shift forward.



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Kevin Lowe: Were there any other kind of standout moments when you look back at that period



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Kevin Lowe: in time that you feel like was really pivotal in getting you kind of on the



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Kevin Lowe: course that you ended up taking that's led to kind of where you are today?



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John Boyle: Yeah. The first image that comes into my mind when you ask that is the day that



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John Boyle: I left West Virginia and went to Salzburg, Pennsylvania.



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John Boyle: The name of the boarding school was the Kiske School.



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John Boyle: And until this year, it was all male. And there was when I pulled up to my when



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John Boyle: my family pulled up to the dorm to drop me off, there was a man standing outside.



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John Boyle: The dorm's name was Clark Hall.



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John Boyle: I remember it well. It was in the fall of 1992.



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John Boyle: And there was a man standing outside the doors with a Kiske ball cap.



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John Boyle: And I was the first student to move in the dorm that day. And just that handoff, Kevin,



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John Boyle: was so symbolic for me and looking back at it to see a man who was welcoming,



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John Boyle: who said, we're glad to have you here and I'm going to help you get oriented.



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John Boyle: And we're looking forward to spending this year with you. just things like that.



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John Boyle: It just, it just gave me a feeling of I'm welcome.



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John Boyle: That man, his name's Mark Orsatti and he's still a teacher there.



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John Boyle: And when I, when I launched my book, did my, my book opening in September of



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John Boyle: 23, I did it at that school and he showed up and I told that story,



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John Boyle: Kevin, and I said it to everybody there.



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John Boyle: And I looked over at him and he was just, I mean, just crying his eyes out.



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John Boyle: Wow. And it was so cool for me because I don't know that he ever knew that. Right.



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John Boyle: When you're a mentor, I don't think, you know, the impact that you have on a child.



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John Boyle: And I think to get feedback like that, well, obviously it meant something to him too.



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John Boyle: So there were many other moments, Kevin, I don't want to ramble here.



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John Boyle: So you cut me off if I am, but you know, my first grade reading,



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John Boyle: the head of school reads your grades to you.



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John Boyle: There's only about 200 students in the school. So it's pretty personable.



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John Boyle: And his name was Mr. Pigeon. And he read my grades to me. And he told me I was last in the class.



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John Boyle: And Kevin, he didn't tear into me. He didn't tell me that I was going to be



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John Boyle: nothing but a truck driver and that I was stupid and the things that I used



00:14:14.271 --> 00:14:19.071


John Boyle: to hear about my grades. He just said, John, your effort grades are B's.



00:14:19.191 --> 00:14:22.451


John Boyle: And if you get them up to A's, you'll be my hero.



00:14:23.471 --> 00:14:29.391


John Boyle: He didn't he didn't land base me over having 60 and 70 percent in certain classes.



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John Boyle: And and I'll give you one over. He didn't do it all year.



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Kevin Lowe: Yeah.



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John Boyle: And he just stood beside me. And there were dorm parents in a dorm at Kiske.



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John Boyle: There are family housing connected to the dorm. So you're more or less in a



00:14:44.631 --> 00:14:49.491


John Boyle: family atmosphere and you have what's called dorm parents and those dorm parents are teachers.



00:14:49.811 --> 00:14:54.251


John Boyle: And one of the men there was a guy named Dr. Lane and he taught me how to study.



00:14:54.331 --> 00:15:01.071


John Boyle: And my junior year, my football coach really helped me get more prepared in



00:15:01.071 --> 00:15:05.691


John Boyle: the season before I started school. school, I came back with an idea of what



00:15:05.691 --> 00:15:06.871


John Boyle: I was getting myself into.



00:15:06.971 --> 00:15:11.651


John Boyle: And my first grade reading, my junior year, I made the honor roll for the first time in my life.



00:15:11.831 --> 00:15:13.931


John Boyle: And I think it shocked anybody that knew me.



00:15:14.151 --> 00:15:17.711


John Boyle: But the man that was happiest for me was the guy who taught me how to study,



00:15:17.851 --> 00:15:21.231


John Boyle: Dr. Lane. And he was a man's man, tough.



00:15:21.831 --> 00:15:25.451


John Boyle: And he gave me a hug when I told him. He couldn't have been happier.



00:15:25.631 --> 00:15:29.311


John Boyle: And those moments, I can't express how much they meant to me.



00:15:29.671 --> 00:15:30.451


Kevin Lowe: And I



00:15:30.451 --> 00:15:31.471


John Boyle: Write about in my book.



00:15:31.471 --> 00:15:38.331


Kevin Lowe: Yeah yeah absolutely the the power of of a mentor the power of a teacher the



00:15:38.331 --> 00:15:43.911


Kevin Lowe: power of somebody just shows a kid that they care it's profound it



00:15:43.911 --> 00:15:45.911


John Boyle: Is and when you grow up like me it's critical.



00:15:45.911 --> 00:15:46.451


Kevin Lowe: Absolutely



00:15:47.725 --> 00:15:55.265


Kevin Lowe: So in sixth grade, you were told you would never graduate. You would never amount to anything.



00:15:55.545 --> 00:15:59.265


Kevin Lowe: But obviously that was wrong.



00:15:59.545 --> 00:16:04.965


Kevin Lowe: Talk to me about life continuing out of high school. What happens?



00:16:05.425 --> 00:16:13.605


John Boyle: Well, I graduated high school in the summer before I graduated college or went to college. I'm sorry.



00:16:13.945 --> 00:16:17.765


John Boyle: In between the summer when I graduated high school and started college,



00:16:18.005 --> 00:16:23.145


John Boyle: I had worked for my family business, which was in road construction for years at this point.



00:16:23.365 --> 00:16:29.885


John Boyle: And I started to realize, I started to consume alcohol and I started to realize



00:16:29.885 --> 00:16:37.385


John Boyle: that alcohol covered up some of the symptoms I was having that I didn't know I had a mental disorder.



00:16:37.545 --> 00:16:40.985


John Boyle: I didn't know what was going on with me at this point. But even through high



00:16:40.985 --> 00:16:48.425


John Boyle: school and certainly became more pronounced in college, I began to suffer from bouts of insomnia.



00:16:48.565 --> 00:16:50.605


John Boyle: I mean, bouts of it for weeks and weeks.



00:16:50.825 --> 00:16:59.485


John Boyle: I was having flashbacks and just negative memories that were coming into my



00:16:59.485 --> 00:17:01.105


John Boyle: brain for no apparent reason.



00:17:01.185 --> 00:17:04.305


John Boyle: They were being triggered by smells and sights and thoughts.



00:17:04.505 --> 00:17:07.725


John Boyle: And I just didn't know anything about them, right?



00:17:07.845 --> 00:17:13.885


John Boyle: So I was having difficulty when you peel back the onion or peel back the curtain



00:17:13.885 --> 00:17:17.405


John Boyle: to my private life that no one was seeing.



00:17:17.565 --> 00:17:22.045


John Boyle: And I would have chronic muscle tenseness. I was having nightmares.



00:17:22.545 --> 00:17:27.985


John Boyle: My fight or flight response would get stuck on. And I would feel like there



00:17:27.985 --> 00:17:30.485


John Boyle: was a bomb threat called in for no reason whatsoever.



00:17:30.865 --> 00:17:35.385


John Boyle: And so I really had a lot of difficulty. And what I figured out was that alcohol



00:17:35.385 --> 00:17:37.005


John Boyle: covered up a lot of these symptoms.



00:17:37.385 --> 00:17:42.945


John Boyle: So I began drinking. And when I went to college, I went to the number one party



00:17:42.945 --> 00:17:45.445


John Boyle: school in the United States. I went to West Virginia University.



00:17:46.393 --> 00:17:51.433


John Boyle: And I went to the School of Engineering. And so by my fourth day of college,



00:17:51.533 --> 00:17:53.973


John Boyle: Kevin, I was arrested for driving under the influence.



00:17:54.313 --> 00:17:59.413


John Boyle: And it was really a, no pun intended, a sobering moment for me.



00:17:59.633 --> 00:18:06.653


John Boyle: And it really got me back on track and made me realize very early that I was



00:18:06.653 --> 00:18:09.373


John Boyle: becoming someone that I didn't intend to be.



00:18:09.493 --> 00:18:14.793


John Boyle: And that those actions really blemished the work that I'd done in my life thus



00:18:14.793 --> 00:18:19.553


John Boyle: far. And so I was able to get my focus back on track.



00:18:19.793 --> 00:18:25.213


John Boyle: I graduated from the School of Engineering, the civil engineering degree in 1999.



00:18:25.953 --> 00:18:31.233


John Boyle: But really, I also struggled in college, Kevin. I struggled mightily with the



00:18:31.233 --> 00:18:33.473


John Boyle: symptoms that I've talked about already. ready.



00:18:33.733 --> 00:18:38.193


Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Wow. I wanted to back up a little bit.



00:18:38.313 --> 00:18:43.613


Kevin Lowe: You said something about, I guess, that in between high school and college,



00:18:43.733 --> 00:18:47.273


Kevin Lowe: you mentioned something about your family's business. Yes.



00:18:47.693 --> 00:18:50.573


Kevin Lowe: So what kind of business was that?



00:18:50.693 --> 00:18:56.913


Kevin Lowe: And I guess I guess I kind of failed to ask was during your time in boarding



00:18:56.913 --> 00:19:03.353


Kevin Lowe: school, what kind of contact and relationship did you keep with your family?



00:19:03.953 --> 00:19:10.593


John Boyle: Well, I was much closer with my father than my mother. My dad was a coal miner.



00:19:10.733 --> 00:19:11.873


John Boyle: He was a hardened individual.



00:19:12.153 --> 00:19:18.093


John Boyle: And I don't fault him for being that. Those were his circumstances and that's just who he was.



00:19:18.713 --> 00:19:25.233


John Boyle: And so, especially when I was in junior high, my father didn't like the comments



00:19:25.233 --> 00:19:30.713


John Boyle: that would come home with my report cards about me being perceived as lazy or a daydreamer.



00:19:30.793 --> 00:19:34.333


John Boyle: And so he put me to work at 13.



00:19:34.553 --> 00:19:40.133


John Boyle: I began working in a machine shop. When I was 13, my family had a mining business.



00:19:40.393 --> 00:19:43.893


John Boyle: They had some surface mines and some deep mines, and they mined coal there.



00:19:44.341 --> 00:19:48.721


John Boyle: In North Central West Virginia. And so I worked in the machine shop where they



00:19:48.721 --> 00:19:52.601


John Boyle: rebuilt some of the miners and underground equipment and, you know,



00:19:52.601 --> 00:19:57.581


John Boyle: really just clean the bathroom, clean the floors, the dirtiest jobs you can imagine,



00:19:57.741 --> 00:20:03.501


John Boyle: unhooking hydraulic hoses from roof boulders and miners and shuttle cars and things like that.



00:20:03.741 --> 00:20:08.961


John Boyle: And, you know, that was in the late 80s. And into the early 90s,



00:20:08.961 --> 00:20:14.961


John Boyle: my family pivoted more into road construction and asphalt paving and things



00:20:14.961 --> 00:20:17.881


John Boyle: more in the public infrastructure realm.



00:20:18.301 --> 00:20:24.141


John Boyle: So through high school, I was working, putting in water lines and sewer lines.



00:20:24.321 --> 00:20:28.801


John Boyle: I worked behind an asphalt paver. And really, by the time I got to college,



00:20:29.061 --> 00:20:31.341


John Boyle: I had worked five or six summers.



00:20:31.501 --> 00:20:33.761


John Boyle: And I was very knowledgeable.



00:20:33.981 --> 00:20:41.041


John Boyle: So into college, I was a crew supervisor and a surveyor and even a project engineer towards the end.



00:20:41.361 --> 00:20:49.221


Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Now, when you would end up graduating, would you go back and work with



00:20:49.221 --> 00:20:54.841


Kevin Lowe: the family business after graduating college or would you pursue a different career path?



00:20:55.221 --> 00:21:01.461


John Boyle: I did pursue all the options that I could find in the late 90s for engineers.



00:21:01.741 --> 00:21:10.381


John Boyle: There wasn't a robust market hiring. And really my closest job I was offered was in Washington, D.C.



00:21:10.701 --> 00:21:14.721


John Boyle: And being a kid from the country and I went to boarding school in the country,



00:21:14.901 --> 00:21:18.281


John Boyle: I just didn't see myself in a city at that time in my life.



00:21:18.401 --> 00:21:22.321


John Boyle: So I turned those offers down and I went to work for my family.



00:21:22.441 --> 00:21:25.801


John Boyle: I was offered a job right out of college and I did that.



00:21:26.641 --> 00:21:32.661


Kevin Lowe: Hmm. Wow. How long, how long would you end up working there?



00:21:32.941 --> 00:21:37.101


John Boyle: So I don't remember how old I was when I graduated college. I'm just going to



00:21:37.101 --> 00:21:40.781


John Boyle: guess I was 22. I worked there until I was 40.



00:21:40.961 --> 00:21:41.621


Kevin Lowe: Oh, wow.



00:21:42.061 --> 00:21:43.261


John Boyle: Yeah. Yeah.



00:21:44.061 --> 00:21:44.501


Kevin Lowe: Now...



00:21:47.141 --> 00:21:55.241


Kevin Lowe: Did you during this time, I guess when I hear this, I guess it's such a shock



00:21:55.241 --> 00:21:58.081


Kevin Lowe: because it's like boarding school. You got away from that.



00:21:58.421 --> 00:22:03.921


Kevin Lowe: And then after graduating college, you kind of went back to hometown.



00:22:04.561 --> 00:22:09.701


Kevin Lowe: Did you have much of a relationship with your mother?



00:22:10.181 --> 00:22:13.421


John Boyle: No, no, I did not. Yeah, I did not, Kevin.



00:22:13.561 --> 00:22:18.661


John Boyle: And I really, because of the interactions at my earliest ages,



00:22:18.921 --> 00:22:23.561


John Boyle: I would say I never really had a relationship with her, even as a child. Yeah.



00:22:23.681 --> 00:22:26.701


John Boyle: I always kind of saw myself as having one parent.



00:22:26.841 --> 00:22:32.101


John Boyle: One parent was involved in my life. He wasn't perfect, but no one is Kevin.



00:22:32.361 --> 00:22:38.761


John Boyle: And I believe he tried. I think he tried as much as he knew how to navigate that situation.



00:22:39.521 --> 00:22:44.361


John Boyle: But my dad was an all-business guy, Kevin, and he was gone a lot in my childhood



00:22:44.361 --> 00:22:46.541


John Boyle: for work. He traveled a good bit.



00:22:46.681 --> 00:22:53.001


John Boyle: And when I got the chance to go travel with him for work, things were better



00:22:53.001 --> 00:22:54.861


John Boyle: for me than they were at home.



00:22:55.121 --> 00:23:01.901


John Boyle: And so really, in my early 20s, I wasn't putting all the pieces together as



00:23:01.901 --> 00:23:04.901


John Boyle: to how much my childhood would affect my adult life.



00:23:05.141 --> 00:23:11.101


John Boyle: And I knew I was dealing with symptoms and problems, But I didn't know what they stemmed from.



00:23:11.321 --> 00:23:17.241


John Boyle: Right. So I was just doing my best. And I knew that business inside and out.



00:23:17.301 --> 00:23:21.921


John Boyle: And it made a lot of sense for me because I could go in to my family's business



00:23:21.921 --> 00:23:26.881


John Boyle: and and really have an accelerated career, if that makes sense.



00:23:26.881 --> 00:23:31.421


Kevin Lowe: Yeah, no, absolutely. Absolutely. You spoke a little bit ago,



00:23:31.581 --> 00:23:38.421


Kevin Lowe: a little bit about the drinking and you told us in college,



00:23:38.641 --> 00:23:43.441


Kevin Lowe: right after the start, getting caught drinking and driving.



00:23:44.512 --> 00:23:47.612


Kevin Lowe: After college, you're in this career.



00:23:47.792 --> 00:23:52.912


Kevin Lowe: How would alcohol kind of impact the rest of your story?



00:23:53.072 --> 00:23:58.252


John Boyle: In every way possible, Kevin. I was someone in my 20s.



00:23:58.272 --> 00:24:02.192


John Boyle: I would say maybe the term is binge drinking.



00:24:02.492 --> 00:24:07.992


John Boyle: I don't know if that was exactly it, but I drank to numb myself.



00:24:08.392 --> 00:24:15.012


John Boyle: I drank to numb my mind. I drank to not have the thoughts that I would have when I was sober.



00:24:15.212 --> 00:24:17.612


John Boyle: I now know those as flashbacks.



00:24:18.652 --> 00:24:22.532


John Boyle: But when I drank heavily, I didn't have nightmares.



00:24:22.972 --> 00:24:27.512


John Boyle: I didn't have flashbacks. I didn't have poor thoughts.



00:24:27.812 --> 00:24:31.872


John Boyle: Even my fight or flight response wouldn't get stuck on.



00:24:32.112 --> 00:24:35.412


John Boyle: So I saw alcohol as giving me a break.



00:24:35.632 --> 00:24:40.372


John Boyle: And so I didn't necessarily drink every night in my 20s.



00:24:40.792 --> 00:24:44.992


John Boyle: But I would go out on the weekends, Kevin, and I would have more than anyone



00:24:44.992 --> 00:24:46.552


John Boyle: around me. Let's put it that way.



00:24:46.672 --> 00:24:50.572


John Boyle: You know, if people around me were having four or five, I'd be at 10 when we



00:24:50.572 --> 00:24:54.132


John Boyle: left, right? 10 drinks versus four or five for everybody else.



00:24:54.592 --> 00:24:59.572


John Boyle: And I wasn't someone, at least I don't think I was, that acted out of line.



00:24:59.692 --> 00:25:02.112


John Boyle: I didn't get in trouble again.



00:25:02.692 --> 00:25:05.712


John Boyle: But the damage I was doing was to myself.



00:25:06.332 --> 00:25:08.912


John Boyle: And if I could, I'll just explain a little bit more.



00:25:09.737 --> 00:25:14.557


John Boyle: As I got into my mid to late 20s, I met my first wife.



00:25:14.937 --> 00:25:20.357


John Boyle: And when we got married and she started living with me every day,



00:25:20.537 --> 00:25:26.697


John Boyle: she could start to see that there was something wrong with me that had not been diagnosed.



00:25:27.077 --> 00:25:30.597


John Boyle: And she was one of the first ones in my life who started to say,



00:25:30.697 --> 00:25:35.517


John Boyle: hey, let's go and get you help and let's figure out what's going on. And I did.



00:25:35.717 --> 00:25:39.917


John Boyle: I knew there was something going on and I didn't want to deal with it.



00:25:39.957 --> 00:25:43.077


John Boyle: And I certainly didn't want to drink every weekend to have to get through it.



00:25:43.217 --> 00:25:46.517


John Boyle: Unfortunately, I was misdiagnosed for about 10 years.



00:25:46.697 --> 00:25:52.717


John Boyle: And so I believe I started walking in the door at 26 or 27 to psychologists,



00:25:53.057 --> 00:25:56.797


John Boyle: to my family doctor, to therapists.



00:25:57.357 --> 00:26:04.917


John Boyle: And I was trying to get help. And I was diagnosed with, with I was having medication



00:26:04.917 --> 00:26:10.677


John Boyle: and prescriptions given to me for all these things I didn't have, depression, anxiety.



00:26:11.297 --> 00:26:17.757


John Boyle: These were not the root causes. And really, Kevin, what happened there was there



00:26:17.757 --> 00:26:20.497


John Boyle: were a lot of disguise presentations where I would go in and say,



00:26:20.577 --> 00:26:21.737


John Boyle: hey, I'm having this problem.



00:26:21.957 --> 00:26:26.257


John Boyle: I wasn't putting all the symptoms together and saying, hey, there's a breadth



00:26:26.257 --> 00:26:29.077


John Boyle: of issues here and I need treatment.



00:26:29.217 --> 00:26:31.237


John Boyle: What is the diagnosis? What's wrong?



00:26:31.477 --> 00:26:37.117


John Boyle: And I just didn't know anything about it. And I was just trying to navigate the best I could.



00:26:37.257 --> 00:26:43.457


John Boyle: So I tried the medication route for several years and it just didn't move the needle.



00:26:43.797 --> 00:26:48.597


John Boyle: And I was just being prescribed larger and larger doses because my body was



00:26:48.597 --> 00:26:52.557


John Boyle: becoming used to what I was given and it wasn't moving the needle.



00:26:52.657 --> 00:26:57.477


John Boyle: And so I was so frustrated by my early thirties that I stopped taking medication



00:26:57.477 --> 00:27:00.977


John Boyle: and I started drinking every day. And that's where things went haywire.



00:27:01.597 --> 00:27:07.697


Kevin Lowe: Yeah. 37, I know from notes, is a pivotal year.



00:27:07.997 --> 00:27:09.897


Kevin Lowe: What happened at the age of 37?



00:27:10.377 --> 00:27:15.017


John Boyle: Can I back up just a bit? I want to say one thing before we go to 37.



00:27:15.557 --> 00:27:16.037


Kevin Lowe: Absolutely.



00:27:16.317 --> 00:27:21.317


John Boyle: When I was 29, on top of all these personal issues I was having,



00:27:21.457 --> 00:27:27.197


John Boyle: on top of my first wife being pregnant with our first son, my father got sick



00:27:27.197 --> 00:27:29.117


John Boyle: and he had a heart attack and.



00:27:29.884 --> 00:27:33.824


John Boyle: He basically called me one day and said, Hey, I need you to come to the hospital.



00:27:34.004 --> 00:27:35.144


John Boyle: I came up to the hospital.



00:27:35.524 --> 00:27:38.444


John Boyle: He was sitting outside in his truck and he was upset.



00:27:38.604 --> 00:27:43.164


John Boyle: And he told me what happened that night. And he just looked at me and said,



00:27:43.264 --> 00:27:44.364


John Boyle: You're in charge. Good luck.



00:27:44.544 --> 00:27:46.944


John Boyle: So at 29, I took over the family business.



00:27:47.184 --> 00:27:51.364


John Boyle: I was the company's president. And I didn't know what I was getting myself into there.



00:27:51.884 --> 00:27:56.804


John Boyle: So there was a lot going on when I was in my 30s. I was running a company and



00:27:56.804 --> 00:28:01.824


John Boyle: I had the intelligence to do so and the technical know-how, but really the emotional



00:28:01.824 --> 00:28:04.424


John Boyle: intelligence in me was lacking.



00:28:05.004 --> 00:28:07.864


John Boyle: So I was also coping with that with alcohol.



00:28:08.064 --> 00:28:11.984


John Boyle: I was coping stress with alcohol. I was coping my symptoms with alcohol and



00:28:11.984 --> 00:28:13.444


John Boyle: I was drinking every day.



00:28:13.524 --> 00:28:16.124


John Boyle: I was not late for work. I was highly functional.



00:28:16.404 --> 00:28:20.424


John Boyle: Our company went from having 80 employees to around 600.



00:28:20.764 --> 00:28:23.444


John Boyle: And it was, it was a, it was a true blessing.



00:28:23.804 --> 00:28:27.964


John Boyle: And, and I loved every minute of it. But, you know, in my personal life,



00:28:28.004 --> 00:28:32.744


John Boyle: after I got home, I was, I mired in difficulty and I was, you know,



00:28:32.744 --> 00:28:37.284


John Boyle: in some nights I was just sitting in a dark room trying to reset my brain and



00:28:37.284 --> 00:28:38.504


John Boyle: even alcohol wasn't working.



00:28:38.644 --> 00:28:42.964


John Boyle: So when I was 37, to answer your question, I started to turn,



00:28:43.024 --> 00:28:47.504


John Boyle: my skin started to turn sheet white and I really started to get scared.



00:28:47.564 --> 00:28:49.244


John Boyle: I stopped being able to keep food down.



00:28:49.644 --> 00:28:54.664


John Boyle: And I went to the doctor and I said, what is wrong? And got some tests run.



00:28:55.084 --> 00:28:59.584


John Boyle: Tests came back and said that my liver was failing and it wasn't processing vitamins.



00:28:59.844 --> 00:29:06.124


John Boyle: And if I continued this route, I'm a dead man. And so I began to realize that I had to quit now.



00:29:06.504 --> 00:29:09.704


John Boyle: And when I went to quit, Kevin, I couldn't.



00:29:09.744 --> 00:29:10.224


Kevin Lowe: Yeah.



00:29:10.364 --> 00:29:11.584


John Boyle: I couldn't do it on my own.



00:29:11.904 --> 00:29:18.224


Kevin Lowe: Wow. How long would you try to quit?



00:29:18.224 --> 00:29:20.904


John Boyle: Well, I tried for about a month on my own.



00:29:21.584 --> 00:29:29.284


John Boyle: Somewhere in there. And I would say every night I'm going to stop and I couldn't make it through.



00:29:30.064 --> 00:29:33.164


John Boyle: I couldn't make it until six 37 o'clock in the evening.



00:29:33.284 --> 00:29:39.964


Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Wow. So what was the turning point?



00:29:40.064 --> 00:29:42.344


Kevin Lowe: How, how did you stop?



00:29:42.724 --> 00:29:48.984


John Boyle: That's an excellent question. And I believe it's just, it's one of the best parts of my book.



00:29:49.144 --> 00:29:53.564


John Boyle: And I write about it in chapter nine. And it's a book about my,



00:29:53.644 --> 00:29:55.864


John Boyle: it's a chapter about my drinking problem.



00:29:56.164 --> 00:30:02.764


John Boyle: I had a, at this point, I'm serving on boards of companies and I had a board meeting in Las Vegas.



00:30:02.984 --> 00:30:06.524


John Boyle: And so I was in Las Vegas about a month after I needed to quit.



00:30:06.584 --> 00:30:09.844


John Boyle: And you know, Las Vegas isn't doing me any favors.



00:30:10.004 --> 00:30:14.584


John Boyle: And so I get on a plane and I'm having this conversation with myself.



00:30:15.104 --> 00:30:18.544


John Boyle: I'm not drinking today. I'm not drinking tomorrow.



00:30:19.124 --> 00:30:23.644


John Boyle: It's not gonna happen. I'm done. And so Kevin, I didn't even make it to when



00:30:23.644 --> 00:30:25.424


John Boyle: the flight landed in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.



00:30:25.744 --> 00:30:28.084


John Boyle: I didn't. I was with a coworker. He drove me home.



00:30:29.324 --> 00:30:33.224


John Boyle: And I'm just as far from being able to quit as possible.



00:30:33.384 --> 00:30:39.944


John Boyle: So that weekend, I went to a bar with a friend and we went to downtown Morgantown



00:30:39.944 --> 00:30:45.444


John Boyle: and was at a bar that I always went to and I was very comfortable, but I'm upset.



00:30:45.784 --> 00:30:50.344


John Boyle: And my friend could see that. And this is someone that I'd known from a long time from my hometown.



00:30:50.844 --> 00:30:55.924


John Boyle: And he looks at me and he says, how are you doing? And I looked at him and I said, not good.



00:30:56.264 --> 00:30:59.384


John Boyle: And he said, well, what's going on? So we talked for a little bit.



00:30:59.424 --> 00:31:02.724


John Boyle: I don't get into every detail, but Kevin, he looked at me and he said,



00:31:02.844 --> 00:31:05.564


John Boyle: why don't you come to church with me? And I'm like.



00:31:06.344 --> 00:31:10.244


John Boyle: What? You go to church? That was my response, right? It wasn't no,



00:31:10.484 --> 00:31:13.404


John Boyle: it was, I was kind of caught off guard.



00:31:13.564 --> 00:31:18.104


John Boyle: And this, this was something that I had not heard ever discussed in a bar at night.



00:31:18.364 --> 00:31:24.884


John Boyle: And I began to have this feeling come over me. And I began to realize that this was a lifeline.



00:31:25.304 --> 00:31:29.204


John Boyle: And so in a couple moments, I looked at him after I asked him if he went to



00:31:29.204 --> 00:31:31.884


John Boyle: church, I didn't know. And I just said, what time?



00:31:32.104 --> 00:31:39.304


John Boyle: And then when Sunday came around, I went to church and it was a great experience



00:31:39.304 --> 00:31:41.244


John Boyle: and I just felt peace come over me.



00:31:41.424 --> 00:31:47.764


John Boyle: And so that didn't make me quit, but I went back the next Sunday, right?



00:31:47.864 --> 00:31:51.184


John Boyle: I'm really struggling here. I'm sheet white. I'm not keeping down food.



00:31:51.384 --> 00:31:54.884


John Boyle: My eyes are bloodshot at this point and I can't quit drinking.



00:31:55.044 --> 00:31:59.404


John Boyle: My body's craving I'm not making it to past seven o'clock in the evening,



00:31:59.504 --> 00:32:01.104


John Boyle: but I am cutting back when I'm drinking.



00:32:01.284 --> 00:32:04.704


John Boyle: So I went back the next Sunday and the next Sunday.



00:32:04.884 --> 00:32:11.424


John Boyle: And very soon I began to realize that my life and the way I'm living it is in



00:32:11.424 --> 00:32:14.924


John Boyle: conflict with what God wants for my life.



00:32:15.144 --> 00:32:17.584


John Boyle: And so I agreed.



00:32:17.964 --> 00:32:24.004


John Boyle: I had a sister who was telling me that I should consider going to detox or rehab.



00:32:24.544 --> 00:32:28.064


John Boyle: And I walked in her office and I just said, you know, I agree.



00:32:28.284 --> 00:32:32.284


John Boyle: I need to do this. If I don't, I'm not going to be around for my son.



00:32:32.484 --> 00:32:36.804


John Boyle: And that was not an acceptable outcome for me. I didn't want to do anything bad to him.



00:32:37.104 --> 00:32:40.464


John Boyle: I'd had a very hard childhood and I didn't want him to have that same one.



00:32:40.564 --> 00:32:42.824


John Boyle: And so I chose to go away and get help.



00:32:43.124 --> 00:32:48.264


Kevin Lowe: Wow. You had never been to church before this?



00:32:48.624 --> 00:32:53.764


John Boyle: Well, I wouldn't say that. I grew up Catholic and I'm not Catholic now.



00:32:54.533 --> 00:32:58.533


John Boyle: Really, I kind of separated myself from the Catholic Church in my early 20s.



00:32:58.673 --> 00:33:02.153


John Boyle: And for the difficulties that I've already talked about, you know,



00:33:02.233 --> 00:33:09.153


John Boyle: it was hard for me to understand why God would let me go through this as a child.



00:33:09.293 --> 00:33:09.573


Kevin Lowe: Yeah.



00:33:09.953 --> 00:33:16.153


John Boyle: And I don't think I was ever purposefully mad at him, but I was very, very frustrated.



00:33:16.373 --> 00:33:19.913


John Boyle: And I just felt that there were people that church was meant for,



00:33:20.013 --> 00:33:24.413


John Boyle: and there was people that it wasn't meant for, and I was in the latter category.



00:33:25.013 --> 00:33:30.493


John Boyle: And that's a terrible way to look at it. It is, but I'm being honest with you.



00:33:30.673 --> 00:33:35.813


John Boyle: I didn't have any faith life in my later 20s, in my early 30s.



00:33:35.933 --> 00:33:39.693


John Boyle: I might've prayed every once in a while for things that I wanted.



00:33:39.873 --> 00:33:44.293


John Boyle: I certainly wasn't praying for, hey, God, use me for something good.



00:33:44.413 --> 00:33:46.193


John Boyle: Hey, God, what do you want me me to do today.



00:33:46.413 --> 00:33:51.813


John Boyle: It was completely selfish if I did pray and I wasn't going to church, very little, if at all.



00:33:52.053 --> 00:33:58.873


John Boyle: And so this particular church that I was invited to was non-denominational Christian church.



00:33:58.953 --> 00:34:03.333


John Boyle: It just so happens to be the largest one in West Virginia. And it's a wonderful



00:34:03.333 --> 00:34:07.853


John Boyle: organization with wonderful pastors and they changed my life,



00:34:08.013 --> 00:34:09.973


John Boyle: Kevin. Wow. Completely.



00:34:10.433 --> 00:34:13.273


John Boyle: Well, Well, we both know that God and Jesus did that, right?



00:34:13.373 --> 00:34:19.753


John Boyle: But they were the catalyst and they were so welcoming and so kind and invited



00:34:19.753 --> 00:34:22.593


John Boyle: me as I was. Yeah. And accepted, right?



00:34:22.733 --> 00:34:22.933


Kevin Lowe: Yeah.



00:34:23.113 --> 00:34:24.193


John Boyle: That's discipleship.



00:34:24.493 --> 00:34:30.333


Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. What was your experience like at the rehab facility?



00:34:30.533 --> 00:34:33.453


Kevin Lowe: Or I'm not sure the correct term for it.



00:34:34.152 --> 00:34:39.412


John Boyle: That's what I call it, Kevin. Okay. Okay. I've heard it called a clinic before,



00:34:39.472 --> 00:34:44.192


John Boyle: but so I, I prayed, I guess, selfishly, right?



00:34:44.652 --> 00:34:48.612


John Boyle: I prayed the night before I left for rehab and I just said, God,



00:34:48.672 --> 00:34:52.092


John Boyle: I'm done with this. Please help me. Please help me get over the hump.



00:34:52.572 --> 00:34:57.392


John Boyle: Please take the urges away. The morning I left, I got on the plane and I was shaking.



00:34:57.492 --> 00:35:05.052


John Boyle: I was in bad shape. and when I landed, went straight to the rehab clinic and it was in Florida.



00:35:05.312 --> 00:35:10.232


John Boyle: There that day, I was diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder.



00:35:10.472 --> 00:35:19.292


John Boyle: I was also diagnosed with alcohol use disorder and I was given a tranquilizer to help me.



00:35:19.612 --> 00:35:24.432


John Boyle: Basically the tranquilizer in rehab, it helps you detox. It tricks your mind



00:35:24.432 --> 00:35:27.492


John Boyle: into thinking that you have alcohol, but actually it's a replicate.



00:35:27.772 --> 00:35:34.332


John Boyle: And so once I was given that tranquilizer, I slept for about 14 hours and woke



00:35:34.332 --> 00:35:37.172


John Boyle: up sober for the first time in over 10 years.



00:35:37.552 --> 00:35:37.992


Kevin Lowe: Wow.



00:35:38.292 --> 00:35:44.832


John Boyle: And dude, it hurt. Far late 10 years where the hangovers into one day and yeah,



00:35:44.972 --> 00:35:48.792


John Boyle: it was a tough one, but I got through it and the urges were gone the next day.



00:35:48.952 --> 00:35:51.472


John Boyle: Really? I've never had an urge to drink again. Really?



00:35:51.732 --> 00:35:55.372


John Boyle: God took those urges away. Wow. Absolutely.



00:35:55.832 --> 00:35:59.212


John Boyle: I can sit here and say, yeah, I was given a tranquilizer and it helped,



00:35:59.312 --> 00:36:00.852


John Boyle: but God took the urges away.



00:36:01.012 --> 00:36:04.452


John Boyle: I've not drank since that day. That was April 1st, 2017.



00:36:05.012 --> 00:36:05.572


Kevin Lowe: Wow.



00:36:06.112 --> 00:36:07.392


John Boyle: 2014. I'm sorry.



00:36:07.572 --> 00:36:14.712


Kevin Lowe: Wow. That's absolutely remarkable. And it is absolutely, absolutely.



00:36:15.432 --> 00:36:23.712


Kevin Lowe: How did your life look different and does it still look different today without alcohol? Yeah.



00:36:24.412 --> 00:36:29.572


John Boyle: Hmm. Very much so. The immediate things that I saw changed were the obvious ones.



00:36:29.792 --> 00:36:33.592


John Boyle: Like, oh, I've got a bunch more free time now because I'm not sitting around



00:36:33.592 --> 00:36:34.852


John Boyle: drinking or going to bars.



00:36:35.152 --> 00:36:39.872


John Boyle: And boy, I have a lot more money in my checkbook, right? Because I'm not buying alcohol.



00:36:40.312 --> 00:36:46.492


John Boyle: But those are superficial answers, right? The real change happens in parenting.



00:36:46.812 --> 00:36:48.832


John Boyle: The real change happened in



00:36:48.832 --> 00:36:54.872


John Boyle: me starting to seek who God wanted me to be and what he wanted me to do.



00:36:54.972 --> 00:36:59.312


John Boyle: I grew much more as a Christian in rehab and outside of rehab.



00:36:59.732 --> 00:37:08.372


John Boyle: And I grew a lot personally in my understanding of my disorder and understanding



00:37:08.372 --> 00:37:14.212


John Boyle: the things that I needed to change and in mending some of the



00:37:14.252 --> 00:37:18.072


John Boyle: damage that I'd done as an alcoholic, right?



00:37:18.252 --> 00:37:26.192


John Boyle: I didn't do a lot of damage to others. Most of it was to myself and that had to be repaired too.



00:37:26.472 --> 00:37:32.972


John Boyle: And so it took a lot of time to heal and I got help as I needed it. I read a ton.



00:37:33.232 --> 00:37:39.352


John Boyle: I started reading the Bible every day and I could give you 10 or 12 more examples



00:37:39.352 --> 00:37:43.712


John Boyle: of things that happened in my career and personal life that just, I mean,



00:37:43.752 --> 00:37:52.912


John Boyle: it's unfathomable for me coming from where I have to be a part of what I ended



00:37:52.912 --> 00:37:55.872


John Boyle: up doing after I got sober and God coming into my life.



00:37:56.152 --> 00:38:04.572


Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. What I love about your story, though, is that's not the end.



00:38:05.592 --> 00:38:12.192


Kevin Lowe: No. Because you, and obviously there's a lot that you can fill in the gaps as



00:38:12.192 --> 00:38:15.152


Kevin Lowe: needed, but you would actually decide to go back to school.



00:38:15.532 --> 00:38:19.172


John Boyle: I did. About a year after I got sober.



00:38:19.552 --> 00:38:25.132


John Boyle: I'm all about education. I believe I'm going to strive to get better and be



00:38:25.132 --> 00:38:27.472


John Boyle: the best version of myself until the day I die.



00:38:27.852 --> 00:38:32.972


John Boyle: And I've always been big into education. and I was a part of a group called



00:38:32.972 --> 00:38:36.012


John Boyle: YPO, which stands for Young Presidents Organization.



00:38:37.112 --> 00:38:41.532


John Boyle: And it's really a networking and learning organization for young presidents



00:38:41.532 --> 00:38:44.652


John Boyle: and CEOs who need polishing.



00:38:44.992 --> 00:38:51.432


John Boyle: And so I was on a trip, an educational trip, and I was one of the only people



00:38:51.432 --> 00:38:53.452


John Boyle: in the group who didn't drink.



00:38:53.572 --> 00:38:58.872


John Boyle: And so there was a happy hour event and I was on the beach reading a book instead



00:38:58.872 --> 00:38:59.972


John Boyle: of standing around a bar.



00:39:00.552 --> 00:39:04.732


John Boyle: And a guy rolls up to me on a beach in a wheelchair. I'd never seen that before.



00:39:06.318 --> 00:39:10.638


John Boyle: And he rolls up and he says, what do you read? So I answer him and we start talking.



00:39:10.958 --> 00:39:15.578


John Boyle: He asked me what I do and what my past has been like.



00:39:15.738 --> 00:39:18.978


John Boyle: And so I'm talking to this guy, kind of wondering, you know,



00:39:18.978 --> 00:39:21.918


John Boyle: where he's gone with this. And he looks at me and he says, have you ever thought



00:39:21.918 --> 00:39:23.518


John Boyle: about going to Harvard Business School?



00:39:23.818 --> 00:39:26.798


John Boyle: And I looked at him, Kevin, and I just started busting out laughing.



00:39:27.558 --> 00:39:30.958


John Boyle: I'm like, there's no way that place is letting me in.



00:39:31.118 --> 00:39:34.498


John Boyle: And he just looked at me and very nicely said, do you like this island?



00:39:34.498 --> 00:39:36.418


John Boyle: Island. Yeah, man, it's a beautiful island.



00:39:36.658 --> 00:39:40.358


John Boyle: He said, that's nice because I own it. And I'm going to give you a piece of



00:39:40.358 --> 00:39:41.738


John Boyle: advice and I hope you listen to me.



00:39:41.858 --> 00:39:44.918


John Boyle: He said, my name's David V. Johnson. I'm from Detroit, Michigan.



00:39:45.178 --> 00:39:49.018


John Boyle: And I think you're an excellent candidate to go to this program that I went to.



00:39:49.278 --> 00:39:53.758


John Boyle: And if you apply online, you can put my name at the bottom.



00:39:53.878 --> 00:39:57.938


John Boyle: And he said his name again. I'd never met that man before that moment.



00:39:58.058 --> 00:40:05.278


John Boyle: I've never talked to him since, but I took his advice. I applied and I got in like three weeks later.



00:40:05.338 --> 00:40:08.858


John Boyle: And then I had to figure out like I really wasn't expecting to get in.



00:40:08.938 --> 00:40:13.358


John Boyle: Then I had to figure out how I was going to do my job and go to Boston to go to school.



00:40:13.458 --> 00:40:17.638


John Boyle: And so I figured that out and I went.



00:40:17.878 --> 00:40:22.478


John Boyle: And in 2017, at 40 years old, I graduated from Harvard University.



00:40:23.098 --> 00:40:23.618


Kevin Lowe: Wow.



00:40:24.418 --> 00:40:25.718


John Boyle: It's incredible. Wow.



00:40:26.538 --> 00:40:35.198


Kevin Lowe: More incredible than a kid who in sixth grade was told he'd never even graduate high school.



00:40:35.338 --> 00:40:42.998


Kevin Lowe: More incredible than that is the fact of the power of Jesus Christ to put you



00:40:42.998 --> 00:40:45.418


Kevin Lowe: in that position on that beach,



00:40:46.238 --> 00:40:51.378


Kevin Lowe: reading a book, and then that man right at the right time, right in the right



00:40:51.378 --> 00:40:56.018


Kevin Lowe: place, all was made and it was all part of the plan.



00:40:56.398 --> 00:40:59.398


Kevin Lowe: And that is magical, my friend.



00:40:59.678 --> 00:41:05.218


John Boyle: It is. It's so good. And it made for such an awesome story that,



00:41:05.258 --> 00:41:10.458


John Boyle: you know, I really I sat in my basement for two years and made sure that I explained



00:41:10.458 --> 00:41:14.078


John Boyle: it in the best way possible, because if he'll do that for me,



00:41:14.218 --> 00:41:16.598


John Boyle: he'll do it for the people listening to your call.



00:41:17.058 --> 00:41:19.258


Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.



00:41:20.172 --> 00:41:26.412


Kevin Lowe: So you've graduated once, you know, with engineering degree.



00:41:26.772 --> 00:41:31.512


Kevin Lowe: Now you graduate at 40 years old from Harvard Business School.



00:41:32.072 --> 00:41:35.892


Kevin Lowe: Where does writing a book fit into this whole puzzle?



00:41:37.312 --> 00:41:42.432


John Boyle: Well, there was one step in between this. So between my second and third year at Harvard,



00:41:42.592 --> 00:41:50.692


John Boyle: because of my difficulties with post-traumatic stress disorder and my frustration



00:41:50.692 --> 00:41:55.032


John Boyle: with just trying to navigate a family business and having that disorder.



00:41:55.472 --> 00:42:00.232


John Boyle: My dad came back into the business and we were at odds on several things.



00:42:01.032 --> 00:42:05.052


John Boyle: And when we would be at odds, sometimes he would get elevated.



00:42:05.272 --> 00:42:10.172


John Boyle: And once he got elevated, it put me in a bad place. And there was only so much I could take of that.



00:42:10.312 --> 00:42:14.972


John Boyle: And at this point in my late 30s, I wasn't drinking and I'm not getting that,



00:42:14.972 --> 00:42:18.912


John Boyle: that drug to take the edge off. And I just couldn't deal with it anymore.



00:42:19.252 --> 00:42:28.232


John Boyle: And I resigned my, I resigned my position as CEO a few months before my third year at Harvard.



00:42:28.692 --> 00:42:36.652


John Boyle: And so, you know, after, after I graduated, I started to seek opportunities elsewhere.



00:42:37.112 --> 00:42:42.592


John Boyle: And I found a company in, it's a Charlotte-based bridge building company,



00:42:42.772 --> 00:42:45.672


John Boyle: and they do a lot of work in South Carolina and Georgia.



00:42:46.032 --> 00:42:49.532


John Boyle: I found an opportunity there as a chief operating officer.



00:42:49.912 --> 00:42:54.632


John Boyle: And so in my last year at Harvard, I was at a company called United Infrastructure



00:42:54.632 --> 00:42:56.772


John Boyle: Group, and I'm still there today. But-



00:42:57.460 --> 00:43:02.620


John Boyle: When, after about a year of being in the Charlotte area, my oldest son,



00:43:02.680 --> 00:43:07.420


John Boyle: who was 11, really needed a dad closer than being home every other weekend.



00:43:07.620 --> 00:43:09.900


John Boyle: And so I chose to move back for



00:43:09.900 --> 00:43:13.740


John Boyle: my son's benefit and really just help him get to where he needs to get.



00:43:13.920 --> 00:43:17.480


John Boyle: And so I kind of furloughed my own career to do that. And then the pandemic



00:43:17.480 --> 00:43:20.680


John Boyle: hit. And when the pandemic hit, then I had the time.



00:43:20.800 --> 00:43:26.420


John Boyle: I stopped being able to be a board member in several positions that I had,



00:43:26.600 --> 00:43:31.020


John Boyle: paying positions, because I have asthma and I was scared to get on a plane.



00:43:31.180 --> 00:43:35.420


John Boyle: And right, wrong, or indifferent, that grounded me. And I was at home and I'm



00:43:35.420 --> 00:43:42.960


John Boyle: not someone, Kevin, who sits around and does nothing. And I just kept feeling



00:43:42.960 --> 00:43:45.260


John Boyle: this calling to write a book.



00:43:45.380 --> 00:43:52.760


John Boyle: And years previous to that feeling and that calling, I had some Harvard classmates,



00:43:53.160 --> 00:43:55.940


John Boyle: one in particular, Thomas Wigelman, Dr.



00:43:56.080 --> 00:44:00.140


John Boyle: Thomas Wigelman from Munich, Germany, who just kept hounding me.



00:44:00.140 --> 00:44:03.320


John Boyle: You've got to write a book, John, you've got to tell your story.



00:44:03.460 --> 00:44:11.000


John Boyle: And I told a really brief version of my story in a family business class in Boston in my first year.



00:44:11.460 --> 00:44:15.780


John Boyle: And, you know, I was encouraged by many people to write a book about it because



00:44:15.780 --> 00:44:20.040


John Boyle: it's just an interesting story that you don't hear really at all.



00:44:20.100 --> 00:44:24.660


John Boyle: I don't think in books and in business class and, you know, family businesses



00:44:24.660 --> 00:44:28.740


John Boyle: are tough, but most family members will not talk about it because they They



00:44:28.740 --> 00:44:30.380


John Boyle: don't want to make the other family members mad.



00:44:30.660 --> 00:44:33.360


Kevin Lowe: And so for that very reason,



00:44:33.400 --> 00:44:37.940


John Boyle: I didn't want to write a book. And so I'd had a friend or two hounding me for a couple years.



00:44:39.410 --> 00:44:43.630


John Boyle: When the pandemic hit, to make a long story short, that's when things changed



00:44:43.630 --> 00:44:46.990


John Boyle: and I started seriously considering it and getting underway.



00:44:47.270 --> 00:44:55.730


Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Okay. Okay. So it's one thing to decide you're going to write a book.



00:44:55.830 --> 00:44:59.990


Kevin Lowe: It's a whole other thing to actually write a book and publish it.



00:45:00.150 --> 00:45:06.030


Kevin Lowe: How was that process for you? Especially the fact of you had to force yourself



00:45:06.030 --> 00:45:10.290


Kevin Lowe: to go back. I'm sure, to a lot of memories that were hard.



00:45:10.750 --> 00:45:15.730


Kevin Lowe: What was it like for you to be able to make it through all of that and come



00:45:15.730 --> 00:45:22.010


Kevin Lowe: up with this finished product, this amazing book that you would be comfortable



00:45:22.010 --> 00:45:24.030


Kevin Lowe: then sharing with the world?



00:45:24.290 --> 00:45:28.230


John Boyle: It was a long journey and it was as difficult as you can imagine,



00:45:28.390 --> 00:45:32.830


John Boyle: especially the parts about going back to childhood and admitting,



00:45:32.990 --> 00:45:36.470


John Boyle: right, that you went through this to yourself and to others.



00:45:36.670 --> 00:45:44.030


John Boyle: And then the thought of it being public and well, there's no more secrets in your life.



00:45:44.630 --> 00:45:47.730


John Boyle: That's overwhelming when you first start the journey.



00:45:48.130 --> 00:45:53.250


John Boyle: And don't forget now that I've never taken a writing class in my life.



00:45:53.750 --> 00:46:00.150


John Boyle: Never. I hadn't had any type of writing training other than what I had at Kiske



00:46:00.150 --> 00:46:02.090


John Boyle: Prep School in the early nineties.



00:46:02.430 --> 00:46:06.150


John Boyle: And past 12th grade, I'd never really written a paper.



00:46:06.490 --> 00:46:09.110


John Boyle: Again, I went to engineering school because I didn't want to.



00:46:09.530 --> 00:46:13.170


John Boyle: I was dead set in my thoughts that I'm an engineer and not a writer.



00:46:13.430 --> 00:46:15.550


John Boyle: So it was hard for me to get off base from that.



00:46:16.428 --> 00:46:19.708


John Boyle: And even though I'm not a writer, I love to read.



00:46:20.228 --> 00:46:26.528


John Boyle: And I would say, especially after I quit drinking, I would read all the time.



00:46:26.528 --> 00:46:31.128


John Boyle: Some nights I would read a whole book from start to finish because it kept my



00:46:31.128 --> 00:46:36.628


John Boyle: mind focused on something and kept me out of trouble. So why not do it? Right.



00:46:37.148 --> 00:46:42.808


John Boyle: And you learn from reading. So I knew what a reader wanted in a book,



00:46:42.908 --> 00:46:44.288


John Boyle: or at least I thought I did.



00:46:44.468 --> 00:46:50.168


John Boyle: But being able to transcribe that to sitting with a laptop on your lap and writing



00:46:50.168 --> 00:46:52.208


John Boyle: doesn't necessarily translate.



00:46:52.208 --> 00:46:56.108


John Boyle: And so really, I had to write



00:46:56.108 --> 00:47:01.348


John Boyle: a whole first draft the whole way through the book and throw it away before



00:47:01.348 --> 00:47:07.808


John Boyle: I really knew how to write a book that could take a reader up and down in the



00:47:07.808 --> 00:47:14.408


John Boyle: joys and pitfalls of my life and make it engaging and keep people reading and,



00:47:14.468 --> 00:47:21.428


John Boyle: you know, tell stories with inside within facts of what had happened in my life.



00:47:21.428 --> 00:47:26.788


John Boyle: Life to, to make it a journey that people could engage with and relate to.



00:47:27.008 --> 00:47:31.708


John Boyle: And so, you know, the one good thing I have had in my, in my life is growing



00:47:31.708 --> 00:47:36.988


John Boyle: up in West Virginia and storytelling is something that happens in the country and it's an art form.



00:47:37.128 --> 00:47:42.228


John Boyle: And so, you know, this like recognition of having an inner voice and telling



00:47:42.228 --> 00:47:48.568


John Boyle: a story in a unique way is what really in the second draft made my book what it is.



00:47:48.748 --> 00:47:53.068


John Boyle: And the one thing that I didn't know when I was writing was I didn't know where



00:47:53.068 --> 00:47:53.988


John Boyle: I was going to end the book.



00:47:54.108 --> 00:48:00.348


John Boyle: And so what gave me so much difficulty in the first draft was I wasn't writing



00:48:00.348 --> 00:48:01.668


John Boyle: a book with the end in mind.



00:48:02.348 --> 00:48:07.688


John Boyle: And that's what I realized in the second draft that I didn't get in the first.



00:48:07.908 --> 00:48:14.048


John Boyle: When you write with an end in mind, every story, every chapter has purpose and



00:48:14.048 --> 00:48:16.048


John Boyle: builds to, to your ending.



00:48:16.328 --> 00:48:19.228


John Boyle: And, and it just gives it the right context. And,



00:48:19.268 --> 00:48:24.248


John Boyle: and I wanted to write a book to Kevin that took people up and down and made



00:48:24.248 --> 00:48:29.408


John Boyle: people laugh and cry because some of the subjects of my life are very sad and



00:48:29.408 --> 00:48:32.968


John Boyle: not everybody just wants to read a sad book and only be sad.



00:48:33.348 --> 00:48:38.388


John Boyle: And so I tried to have fun with it and that helped me get through the difficulty



00:48:38.388 --> 00:48:39.848


John Boyle: of writing the sad parts.



00:48:41.048 --> 00:48:45.928


Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Yeah. Upon completion of your book, what has been the feedback you've



00:48:45.928 --> 00:48:51.008


Kevin Lowe: gotten from strangers and even people you know, family members?



00:48:51.508 --> 00:48:52.508


John Boyle: Oh, it's been...



00:48:53.391 --> 00:48:57.791


John Boyle: It's been overwhelming. It's been so good. It's been so encouraging.



00:48:58.191 --> 00:49:05.851


John Boyle: I think this is my 15th podcast, Kevin, not only during the publishing and people



00:49:05.851 --> 00:49:09.031


John Boyle: reading and getting back to me and saying, hey, I loved your book.



00:49:09.331 --> 00:49:17.311


John Boyle: Or, you know, some of the best compliments I've had is I had one woman who emailed me at like 6 a.m.



00:49:17.511 --> 00:49:23.151


John Boyle: And she said, hey, I got your book yesterday and I picked it up and I opened a few pages.



00:49:23.611 --> 00:49:26.151


John Boyle: And I couldn't put it down. I read the whole thing last night.



00:49:26.231 --> 00:49:28.411


John Boyle: I'm just going to bed right now at 6 a.m.



00:49:28.931 --> 00:49:33.291


John Boyle: You did a wonderful job. I'm like, I didn't, Kevin, I didn't think anybody would buy it.



00:49:33.811 --> 00:49:36.871


John Boyle: I gotta be honest with you. I didn't think anybody would publish it.



00:49:36.971 --> 00:49:41.071


John Boyle: And this is like just being short-sighted, right? Because God had a plan and



00:49:41.071 --> 00:49:44.031


John Boyle: I'm like kind of fighting it the whole way.



00:49:44.131 --> 00:49:47.191


John Boyle: Like God, no, I really don't want to write this book.



00:49:47.511 --> 00:49:51.311


John Boyle: I really don't want to talk about these these things? And what's the purpose?



00:49:51.371 --> 00:49:52.491


John Boyle: It's already done, right?



00:49:52.651 --> 00:49:56.231


John Boyle: And now I know, right, that God is using my story for good.



00:49:56.291 --> 00:50:01.451


John Boyle: And he's using my story to bring people closer to him. And he's using it to help people.



00:50:01.651 --> 00:50:04.631


John Boyle: And I'm flattered and honored by that.



00:50:04.951 --> 00:50:10.671


John Boyle: And a lot of the feedback I've gotten, I've gotten feedback from alcoholics



00:50:10.671 --> 00:50:13.831


John Boyle: who are trying to quit or have already quit and are trying to stay sober.



00:50:14.251 --> 00:50:21.231


John Boyle: I've gotten feedback from people who have struggled with the same upbringing



00:50:21.231 --> 00:50:23.991


John Boyle: as a child in a violent home that I have.



00:50:24.191 --> 00:50:28.611


John Boyle: And some of these people are well-known, right? Two of them,



00:50:28.691 --> 00:50:29.871


John Boyle: United States senators.



00:50:30.291 --> 00:50:36.611


John Boyle: And it's just, it's been incredible to hear people just open up to me and share



00:50:36.611 --> 00:50:39.271


John Boyle: their own difficulty and their own journey.



00:50:39.371 --> 00:50:45.191


John Boyle: And to hear Thank you from people like that for saying, I haven't felt like



00:50:45.191 --> 00:50:49.571


John Boyle: I could tell my story because of the retribution I would receive from my family



00:50:49.571 --> 00:50:54.311


John Boyle: and what it might do to fracture it. But I'm so thankful that you told yours.



00:50:55.031 --> 00:50:58.171


John Boyle: I've had, I'll say one more thing and I'll be quiet.



00:50:58.651 --> 00:51:03.891


John Boyle: I've had colleagues on boards, boards of directors as recently as a few months



00:51:03.891 --> 00:51:06.751


John Boyle: ago, tell me, Hey, I, I read your book.



00:51:06.851 --> 00:51:11.711


John Boyle: I loved it. And I bought three more copies and I gave them to my children because



00:51:11.711 --> 00:51:15.571


John Boyle: I want them to see, one, what can happen when you get off track in your life,



00:51:15.591 --> 00:51:16.891


John Boyle: but two, the goodness of God.



00:51:17.071 --> 00:51:21.651


John Boyle: And it's just and what an honor. Yeah, I can't say it in another way.



00:51:21.831 --> 00:51:27.911


Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. An honor. Please remind us the name of your book and where



00:51:27.911 --> 00:51:33.111


Kevin Lowe: somebody can find your book who's excited enough to read it because,



00:51:33.171 --> 00:51:36.771


Kevin Lowe: I mean, my goodness, you've sold us on it like nobody's business.



00:51:36.991 --> 00:51:39.691


Kevin Lowe: So where can we find it?



00:51:39.771 --> 00:51:44.191


John Boyle: And thank you. Thank you. This has been awesome for your listeners.



00:51:44.451 --> 00:51:50.351


John Boyle: My book, the name of my book is Appalachian Kid, Appalachian Kid.



00:51:51.240 --> 00:51:56.140


John Boyle: And it can be found on Amazon. There's hardback, there's paperback copy,



00:51:56.360 --> 00:52:01.240


John Boyle: there's a Kindle copy, and there's also an audio book.



00:52:01.480 --> 00:52:09.360


John Boyle: And if you type in my name, John Boyle, Appalachian Kid, it will pop up and you can buy it there.



00:52:09.520 --> 00:52:17.960


John Boyle: I also have a website, AppalachianKid.com, and there's a little bio of me and



00:52:17.960 --> 00:52:21.740


John Boyle: there's some endorsements that I received when I first published my book.



00:52:22.100 --> 00:52:26.600


John Boyle: And there's also a synopsis of the book itself, which gives the reader just



00:52:26.600 --> 00:52:28.200


John Boyle: a nutshell of what they'll be reading.



00:52:28.280 --> 00:52:31.920


John Boyle: But of course, anybody that listens to your show is going to know more than



00:52:31.920 --> 00:52:33.480


John Boyle: the synopsis would tell them.



00:52:33.580 --> 00:52:36.200


John Boyle: And I'm also on LinkedIn, John P. Boyle.



00:52:36.680 --> 00:52:42.940


Kevin Lowe: Amazing. John, I will be positive that everything is in the episode show notes



00:52:42.940 --> 00:52:47.480


Kevin Lowe: for anybody Anybody interested, please just check out the show notes for today's



00:52:47.480 --> 00:52:49.460


Kevin Lowe: episode for easy access.



00:52:49.960 --> 00:52:56.400


Kevin Lowe: John, man, I want to thank you so much today for sharing your story,



00:52:56.540 --> 00:52:59.480


Kevin Lowe: for taking us really on this journey.



00:52:59.700 --> 00:53:07.040


Kevin Lowe: And I want to say that I'm so happy for you and the place that you are today,



00:53:07.400 --> 00:53:09.340


Kevin Lowe: what you have overcome. come.



00:53:09.740 --> 00:53:17.580


Kevin Lowe: Life hasn't been easy, but I look at you and I think what an amazing testimony



00:53:17.580 --> 00:53:20.240


Kevin Lowe: you are to the power of God.



00:53:20.660 --> 00:53:24.300


John Boyle: Amen, brother. Amen. I couldn't have said it better.



00:53:24.800 --> 00:53:29.740


John Boyle: Thank you so much for having me. It's an honor. And I really hope this brings



00:53:29.740 --> 00:53:31.020


John Boyle: value to your listeners.



00:53:31.280 --> 00:53:34.060


John Boyle: It's been a great podcast. Thank you for having me.



00:53:34.380 --> 00:53:37.420


Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. Absolutely. For you listening today.



00:53:37.820 --> 00:53:43.500


Kevin Lowe: I hope, as always, that you've enjoyed our conversation with John as much as I have.



00:53:43.760 --> 00:53:48.000


Kevin Lowe: Such an amazing guy with such a heartfelt story to share.



00:53:48.180 --> 00:53:53.700


Kevin Lowe: I hope that something said today can be an impact to you in your life.



00:53:54.020 --> 00:53:58.220


Kevin Lowe: If something did resonate, if something made you think of somebody in your life,



00:53:58.420 --> 00:54:00.360


Kevin Lowe: please share today's episode with them.



00:54:00.420 --> 00:54:04.400


Kevin Lowe: That would be amazing. amazing and don't forget to check out the show notes



00:54:04.400 --> 00:54:10.580


Kevin Lowe: for all of the links to find john's book until next time i'm kevin lowe and



00:54:10.580 --> 00:54:13.440


Kevin Lowe: of course this is grit grace and inspiration



00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:32.751


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