How to Forgive Yourself for Past Mistakes Before Regret Steals Your Future (Summer Shift Week 9)

What today is about is what I've watched happen to too many people.

People I love.

They don't lose their future because they've run out of talent.

But instead, they lose it because they've decided somewhere deep down that their past disqualifies their future.

They decided that they are no longer worthy, that they are no longer deserving because of something that happened in their past.

Today, we are calling that lie.

And yes, I said a lie out by name.

Today is the ninth week in our summer shift series.

My friend, I am your host, Kevin Lowe, and this, of course, is Grit Grace and Inspiration, episode 356.

As I said, this is week number nine in our summer shift series.

That means we are on the home stretch, baby.

Yes, we have just rounded turn number four at Daytona International Speedway, and we are headed for the checkered flag.

unknown: Whew.

SPEAKER_01: I hope you've enjoyed our summer shift series.

But I have to say, of course, I saved the best for the end because that's how everything is.

You gotta stack the deck.

And my friend, the weeks to come, I hope to really give you the shift you need to make some big gains in your life.

And I hope that all starts right now with today's episode.

My hope with today's episode is that it gives you permission to set yourself free, to undo the chain, to let go of the anchor that you've been dragging behind you, that's been stopping you, slowing you down, keeping you from living a life of freedom.

So many people walk around this life carrying a sentence that they were never given.

Well, except they gave it to themselves.

They gave themselves the sentence.

And what it's done is it's robbed them of the opportunity to truly get to love life, to enjoy life, to get to experience all that this life has in store for them.

Because they're still carrying around with them something that happened in the past.

You know the stories.

I blew it.

I'm too far gone.

I'm too old.

People like me, people like me who've done what I did, I don't deserve anything better.

They live their life like the verdict is already in.

So what I want to talk about, what I want you to begin to make a shift on, is shifting out of that mentality and understanding that what was is exactly that.

Was it not what is, and it is not what will be.

It is in the past, and the past is where it belongs.

So, to reiterate, the shift I want you to make right here and now is the simple truth.

Your past is evidence.

It is not a verdict.

A verdict, it says this is who you are.

Case closed.

Evidence, it just simply says this is what happened.

And let's be honest, what happened to you, what you did, is real.

Let's give it that truth.

But that, my friend, is a chapter, a single page in your story.

It is not the entire book.

So will you please give yourself the permission here today, by the end of this episode, to let yourself free of whatever that is that you're holding on to from the past.

Because, quite honestly, the thing that you're carrying with you, it happened way back on page 22, chapter two.

Meanwhile, you're on page 223, chapter 11, and yet you're still carrying with you the same crap all the way back from nearly the beginning of the story.

Let it go, my friend.

Please let it go.

You are indeed the author of your own story.

And you can't go backward, but you can go forward.

It's the only way to go.

You hold the pin.

You get to choose what happens from here.

So don't you want to make the story good?

Don't you want to finally turn the page?

Make the choice, make the shift in your mindset that you are no longer tied to what was, but instead, you are only determined to make what is better than it could have ever been before.

Now, here's a truth bomb for you.

Most people are not held back because of their past, but instead, they're held back by what they have decided their past means.

And this usually comes down to three specific lies we tell ourselves.

Lie number one, because I did that, I am that.

You made a mistake.

So now you believe you are the mistake.

But the fact is true.

Who you are and what you did were never the same thing.

So let yourself free.

Lie number two, if people only knew who I am, who I truly am, if people only knew what I did, they certainly wouldn't love me.

They certainly wouldn't like me.

And therefore you hide.

In hiding, it keeps you small.

How are you ever supposed to live out a life of pure joy and enjoyment when you're hiding your past, so scared of what somebody might find out about you?

Lie number three, the big one.

It's too late for me.

Fear, it loves this one.

Fear capitalizes on your feeling that it's too late.

My friend, again, that is just a lie.

So the question is: if those are the lies, what do we put in their place?

What shift do we make?

Well, this is exactly the shift I want you to make.

I want you to begin to believe this instead.

Your past is preparation, not a prison.

Everything you've lived through, even the bad stuff, the stuff that you wish you could forget, it was all an experience.

And experience is exactly what qualifies you to move forward, to help someone else.

Experience is why you're the amazing person that you are.

The things that you've gone through, the good and the bad, they're a part of you.

They are not you, but they are a part of you.

And they've shaped you in ways that I believe have made you the amazing person that you are.

So understand it.

Your past is preparation.

It's not a prison.

The second belief I want you to understand: the people with the most powerful futures are almost never the ones with the cleanest past.

Instead, they're the ones who took a messy past and turned it into something great.

They figured out a way to turn the odds in their favor.

They learned from experiences.

They let the experience give them wisdom.

They took what was needed to better themselves and to better their lives.

And they left the rest back where it was.

And the third belief that I want you to adopt is that you are not auditioning for your future based on your past.

Grace, it does not work like a background check.

In your next chapter, it's not waiting on you to be perfect.

It's waiting on you to be willing to turn the page, to leave what was back then, and to embark on something new.

It's just waiting on you to have the courage, to have the self-respect for yourself, to believe in yourself enough to leave all of that stuff behind and instead focus on writing the next best chapter of your life.

My friend, I want you to think of a sailboat.

How far does a sailboat go when its anchor is thrown off the boat?

Well, it's only going to go as far as the chain has length for, as far as the rope will extend out, and then it's going to stop.

My friend, the past that you've been holding on to, the thing that you did 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 50 years ago, that you still, in the middle of the night, beat yourself up over, convince yourself that it's why things in life aren't working out for you, because God is holding it against you.

My friend, please hear me when I say, let it go.

That is not yours to hold on to.

You have to let the anchor go if you ever want to sail forward.

And the fact is true, is what I said earlier.

No one put this sentence on you but yourself.

So therefore, you can be the one to remove the sentence.

You can clear your record.

You have that choice.

This week, I want to put you to the challenge to identify the one thing from your past that's been holding you back.

The one thing that you're so scared for anybody to know.

The thing that you beat yourself up over.

And I want you to write it down.

I want you to write whatever that is down.

Now, preferably, if you can, grab a pen and a notepad, your journal, a piece of paper.

This is just meant for you.

And I want you to write it out.

Write out exactly what that thing is.

When you write it down, I want you to say it out loud.

I want you to own it.

I want you to declare it.

And then I want you to notice something really powerful.

It's just a single sentence.

It's not a book.

It's not a novel.

It's not a chapter.

It's not even a page.

It's a single sentence.

My friend, you have been allowing your life to be dictated, to be tied down, to be robbed based on a single sentence.

Your life is worth more than that single sentence.

You deserve more than that single sentence.

Stop allowing that single sentence to rob you of the chance to experience what this life has in store for you.

Put that piece of paper in your wallet, put it in your nightstand, tuck it away in a drawer.

It's not meant for anybody else to ever read it, but you, and here's the most powerful thing you can do of all is when you're ready, and only you will know when you're ready.

I want you to take back out that piece of paper, and I want you to shred it.

I want you to rip it up, and I want you to throw it away.

I want you to use that as a symbolism that this is no longer going to have control over me or my future or my life ever again.

What was was then.

That mistake is not who I am.

And I am no longer tied down in my life because of that thing.

My friend, I want the best for you.

I hope that you want the best for you.

And let's face it, there's a lot of stuff in this life that's really tough, that's really hard.

Trust me when I say I understand.

But if there's something that's in our control that we can control, like this, then my friend, my gosh, listen to me as I beg you to let it go.

Your past will always be there.

It's not going to suddenly disappear when we write it down or we shred it up.

But it no longer gets the final word on who you are, what your life is, or what tomorrow will hold.

My friend, that's the shift I want you to make today.

Shifting from being a person who's been living with this life sentence to a person who's been set free.

And that, my friend, is what will shift everything for you, not just in the summer.

My friend, as always, I hope you've enjoyed today's episode.

I hope it sparked something for you.

And by all means, if there's somebody in your life who you think could really benefit from today's episode or any of the episodes in maybe our SummerShift series, it would mean the world to me if you would just share today's episode with them.

Send them a link, tell them about the podcast, let them get to experience what it feels like to no longer be tied down, to finally have the encouragement to cut ties, to let go of the anchor, and let themselves sail free.

Because my friend, the horizon is waiting on you.

Until next time, I'm your host, Kevin Lowe, and this, of course, was another episode of Grit Grace and Inspiration.