456: How to Forgive Yourself for Past Mistakes Before Regret Steals Your Future (Summer Shift Week 9)

Kevin Lowe: What today is about is what I've watched happen to too many people, people I love.

Kevin Lowe: They don't lose their future because they've run out of talent.

Kevin Lowe: But instead, they lose it because they've decided somewhere deep down that their past disqualifies their future.

Kevin Lowe: They decided that they are no longer worthy, that they are no longer deserving, because of something that happened in their past.

Kevin Lowe: Today, we are calling that lie. And yes, I said a lie out by name.

Kevin Lowe: Today is the ninth week in our summer shift series.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, I am your host, Kevin Lowe, and this, of course, is Grit, Grace, and Inspiration, episode 356.

Kevin Lowe: As I said, this is week number nine in our summer shift series.

Kevin Lowe: That means we are on the home stretch, baby.

Kevin Lowe: Yes, we have just rounded turn number four at Daytona International Speedway, and we are headed for the checkered flag.

Kevin Lowe: Whew, I hope you've enjoyed our summer shift series. But I have to say, of course, I saved the best for the end because that's how everything is.

Kevin Lowe: You got to stack the deck.

Kevin Lowe: And my friend, the weeks to come, I hope to really give you the shift you need to make some big gains in your life.

Kevin Lowe: And I hope that all starts right now with today's episode.

Kevin Lowe: My hope with today's episode is that it gives you permission to set yourself free, to undo the chain, to let go of the anchor that you've been dragging behind you, that's been stopping you, slowing you down, Keeping you from living a life of freedom.

Kevin Lowe: So many people walk around this life carrying a sentence that they were never given.

Kevin Lowe: Well, except they gave it to themselves. They gave themselves the sentence.

Kevin Lowe: And what it's done is it's robbed them of the opportunity to truly get to love life, to enjoy life, to get to experience all that this life has in store for them.

Kevin Lowe: Because they're still carrying around with them something that happened in the past.

Kevin Lowe: You know the stories. I blew it. I'm too far gone. I'm too old.

Kevin Lowe: People like me, people like me who've done what I did, I don't deserve anything better.

Kevin Lowe: They live their life like the verdict is already in.

Kevin Lowe: So what I want to talk about, what I want you to begin to make a shift on is shifting out of that mentality and understanding that what was is exactly that, was.

Kevin Lowe: It is not what is, and it is not what will be.

Kevin Lowe: It is in the past, and the past is where it belongs.

Kevin Lowe: So, to reiterate, the shift I want you to make right here and now is the simple truth.

Kevin Lowe: Your past is evidence. It is not a verdict.

Kevin Lowe: A verdict, it says this is who you are. Case closed.

Kevin Lowe: Evidence, it just simply says this is what happened.

Kevin Lowe: And let's be honest, what happened to you, what you did, is real.

Kevin Lowe: Let's give it that truth.

Kevin Lowe: But that, my friend, is a chapter, a single page in your story.

Kevin Lowe: It is not the entire book.

Kevin Lowe: So, will you please give yourself the permission here today, by the end of this episode, to let yourself free of whatever that is that you're holding on to from the past?

Kevin Lowe: Because, quite honestly, the thing that you're carrying with you, it happened way back on page 22, chapter 2.

Kevin Lowe: Meanwhile, you're on page 223, chapter 11, and yet you're still carrying with you the same crap all the way back from nearly the beginning of the story.

Kevin Lowe: Let it go, my friend. Please, let it go.

Kevin Lowe: You are indeed the author of your own story.

Kevin Lowe: And you can't go backward, but you can go forward.

Kevin Lowe: It's the only way to go. You hold the pin. You get to choose what happens from here.

Kevin Lowe: So don't you want to make the story good? Don't you want to finally turn the page, make the choice, make the shift in your mindset, that you are no longer tied to what was, but instead you are only determined, to make what is better than it could have ever been before.

Kevin Lowe: Now, here's a truth bomb for you. Most people are not held back because of their past, but instead they're held back by what they've decided their past means.

Kevin Lowe: And this usually comes down to three specific lies we tell ourselves.

Kevin Lowe: Lie number one, because I did that, I am that.

Kevin Lowe: You made a mistake, so now you believe you are the mistake.

Kevin Lowe: But the fact is true. Who you are and what you did were never the same thing. So let yourself free.

Kevin Lowe: Lie number two, if people only knew who I am, who I truly am, if people only knew what I did, they certainly wouldn't love me.

Kevin Lowe: They certainly wouldn't like me.

Kevin Lowe: And therefore you hide. In hiding, it keeps you small.

Kevin Lowe: How are you ever supposed to live out a life of pure joy and enjoyment when you're hiding your past?

Kevin Lowe: So scared of what somebody might find out about you.

Kevin Lowe: Lie number three, the big one. It's too late for me.

Kevin Lowe: Fear, it loves this one. Fear capitalizes on your feeling that it's too late.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, again, that is just a lie. Okay.

Kevin Lowe: So the question is, if those are the lies, what do we put in their place? What shift do we make?

Kevin Lowe: Well, this is exactly the shift I want you to make.

Kevin Lowe: I want you to begin to believe this instead. Your past is preparation, not a prison.

Kevin Lowe: Everything you've lived through, even the bad stuff, the stuff that you wish you could forget, it was all an experience.

Kevin Lowe: And experience is exactly what qualifies you to move forward, to help someone else.

Kevin Lowe: Experience is why you're the amazing person that you are.

Kevin Lowe: The things that you've gone through, the good and the bad, they're a part of you.

Kevin Lowe: They are not you, but they are a part of you and they've shaped you in ways that I believe have made you the amazing person that you are.

Kevin Lowe: So understand it. Your past is preparation. It's not a prison.

Kevin Lowe: The second belief I want you to understand, the people with the most powerful futures are almost never the ones with the cleanest past.

Kevin Lowe: Instead, they're the ones who took a messy past and turned it into something great.

Kevin Lowe: They figured out a way to turn the odds in their favor.

Kevin Lowe: They learned from experiences. They let the experience give them wisdom.

Kevin Lowe: They took what was needed to better themselves and to better their lives, and they left the rest back where it was.

Kevin Lowe: And the third belief that I want you to adopt is that you are not auditioning for your future based on your past.

Kevin Lowe: Grace, it does not work like a background check.

Kevin Lowe: In your next chapter, it's not waiting on you to be perfect.

Kevin Lowe: It's waiting on you to be willing to turn the page, to leave what was back then into a bark on something new.

Kevin Lowe: It's just waiting on you to have the courage, to have the self-respect for yourself.

Kevin Lowe: To believe in yourself enough to leave all of that stuff behind and instead focus on writing the next best chapter of your life.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, I want you to think of a sailboat. How far does a sailboat go when its anchor is thrown off the boat?

Kevin Lowe: Well, it's only going to go as far as the chain has length for, as far as the rope will extend out, and then it's going to stop.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, the past that you've been holding on to, the thing that you did 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 50 years ago, that you still, in the middle of the night, beat yourself up over, convince yourself that it's why things in life aren't working out for you, because God is holding it against you, My friend, please hear me when I say, let it go.

Kevin Lowe: That is not yours to hold on to. You have to let the anchor go if you ever want to sail forward.

Kevin Lowe: And the fact is true, is what I said earlier. No one put this sentence on you, but yourself.

Kevin Lowe: So therefore, you can be the one to remove the sentence. You can clear your record.

Kevin Lowe: You have that choice.

Kevin Lowe: This week, I want to put you to the challenge to identify the one thing from your past that's been holding you back.

Kevin Lowe: The one thing that you're so scared for anybody to know. The thing that you beat yourself up over.

Kevin Lowe: And I want you to write it down.

Kevin Lowe: I want you to write whatever that is down. Now, preferably, if you can, grab a pen and a notepad, your journal, a piece of paper. This is just meant for you.

Kevin Lowe: And I want you to write it out. Write out exactly what that thing is.

Kevin Lowe: When you write it down, I want you to say it out loud.

Kevin Lowe: I want you to own it. I want you to declare it.

Kevin Lowe: And then I want you to notice something really powerful.

Kevin Lowe: It's just a single sentence.

Kevin Lowe: It's not a book. It's not a novel. It's not a chapter. It's not even a page.

Kevin Lowe: It's a single sentence.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, you have been allowing your life to be dictated, to be tied down, to be robbed based on a single sentence. Right?

Kevin Lowe: Your life is worth more than that single sentence. You deserve more than that single sentence.

Kevin Lowe: Stop allowing that single sentence to rob you of the chance to experience what this life has in store for you.

Kevin Lowe: Put that piece of paper in your wallet. Put it in your nightstand. Tuck it away in a drawer.

Kevin Lowe: It's not meant for anybody else to ever read it, but you.

Kevin Lowe: And here's the most powerful thing you can do of all is when you're ready and only you will know when you're ready.

Kevin Lowe: I want you to take back out that piece of paper and I want you to shred it.

Kevin Lowe: I want you to rip it up and I want you to throw it away.

Kevin Lowe: I want you to use that as a symbolism that this is no longer going to have control over me or my future or my life ever again.

Kevin Lowe: What was, was then. That mistake is not who I am.

Kevin Lowe: And I am no longer tied down in my life because of that thing.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, I want the best for you.

Kevin Lowe: I hope that you want the best for you.

Kevin Lowe: And let's face it, there's a lot of stuff in this life that's really tough, that's really hard.

Kevin Lowe: Trust me when I say I understand. But if there's something that's in our control, that we can control like this, then my friend, my gosh, listen to me as I beg you to let it go.

Kevin Lowe: Your past will always be there.

Kevin Lowe: It's not going to suddenly disappear when we write it down or we shred it up.

Kevin Lowe: But it no longer gets the final word on who you are, what your life is, or what tomorrow will hold.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, that's the shift I want you to make today. Shifting from being a person who's been living with this life sentence to a person who's been set free.

Kevin Lowe: And that, my friend, is what will shift everything for you, not just in the summer.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, as always, I hope you've enjoyed today's episode.

Kevin Lowe: I hope it sparked something for you. And by all means, if there's somebody in your life who you think could really benefit from today's episode or any of the episodes in maybe our Summer Shift series, it would mean the world to me if you would just share today's episode with them.

Kevin Lowe: Send them a link. Tell them about the podcast.

Kevin Lowe: Let them get to experience what it feels like to no longer be tied down, to finally have the encouragement to cut ties, to let go of the anchor, and let themselves sail free.

Kevin Lowe: Because my friend, the horizon is waiting on you.

Kevin Lowe: Until next time, I'm your host, Kevin Lowe. And this, of course, was another episode of Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

Kevin Lowe: Thank you.