446: She Lost Her Sister… Then Her Mother — But Refused to Let Grief Be the End of Her Story #FanFav

Kate Gladdin: It has been a long time getting to chat together. I'm excited because I really thoroughly enjoyed having you on my show and was very inspired.

Kate Gladdin: So it's great to be back collaborating again.

Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. I agree 100%. Yes. Well, Kate, wanting to dive right in, your story has many different elements that we're going to get to today.

Kevin Lowe: And I believe there's a lot of it that's going to help somebody in many different aspects of life who are maybe struggling, who are in the thick of it.

Kevin Lowe: They're going through some stuff and you have life experience that I know is going to be able to help them.

Kevin Lowe: But before we get to all of that, where I would love to start is getting to kind of better understand where things started for you.

Kevin Lowe: I know you're from Australia, and so I would love to know what was life like for little Kate growing up in Australia?

Kevin Lowe: If you wouldn't mind, I would just love to hear about that, whether it's a favorite story, a memory, just a snapshot, just to give a little bit better context of where you've come from.

Kate Gladdin: Oh, good question. I love it. Little Kate. Gosh.

Kate Gladdin: I think, you know, I grew up surrounded by a whole lot of love and a whole lot of beaches. So I guess you're from Florida, right, Kevin?

Kate Gladdin: Correct. Yes. Yeah. So it's probably similar, less human, thankfully.

Kate Gladdin: I think if you were, when you said favorite memory, I think, you know, I grew up, I was the youngest of three.

Kate Gladdin: So I have my sister who was four years older and then my brother, six years older than me. And I think it was Sunday mornings.

Kate Gladdin: We lived by a bay and we'd walk along the bay and the sun would be shining and we'd go down to my pop's place and we'd have bacon and eggs and a family brekkie, as we'd say, or breakfast together.

Kate Gladdin: And I look back now and that some of my fondest memories, just my pop just hanging out down the road and walking by the bay, sunshine.

Kate Gladdin: You know, Australia does get cold. I'll give it that. I think a lot of people think it's stinking hot all the time.

Kate Gladdin: But yeah, that's, I had a really, yeah, full life and then lots of happy family memories, which especially now I'll hold close to my heart.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. Now, did you have extended family as part of your childhood as well?

Kevin Lowe: Or was it just pretty much your siblings and your parents?

Kate Gladdin: I've got cousins, particularly on my mom's side that I'm really close with and we're still very connected now.

Kate Gladdin: But yeah, we'd all, particularly, you know, Christmas and those times, we'd all come together and play in the pool. So that's the fun thing.

Kate Gladdin: I guess actually Florida is probably pretty warm at Christmas too, but I tell Americans that we have Christmas in summer and they're like, why do you have Christmas in July?

Kate Gladdin: I'm like, no, it's summertime.

Kevin Lowe: Hey, that was kind of confusing me too. So yeah.

Kate Gladdin: But yeah, so Christmas, you know, I'd be on my, I think they're called, are they called noodles?

Kate Gladdin: Did you ever, did you spend much time in the pool growing up where you'd have those little like noodle pool toys and you'd float around them?

Kevin Lowe: The little foam, the foam thing that you'd float. Yes, of course. Yes.

Kate Gladdin: We'd have noodle walls in the pool and then you'd have your dessert and your ice cream running down your arms because it would be hot and melting.

Kate Gladdin: That was Christmas in Australia for you. But yeah, that's particularly when all the cousins would come together.

Kate Gladdin: And I don't know about you, Kevin, but I'd give anything for a day to go back and just enjoy some of those memories all over again, for sure.

Kevin Lowe: Oh, if that is not a summary of the thoughts that I have way too much of how nice it would be sometimes to just get to go back.

Kevin Lowe: To when we were just little kids. And, you know, we always thought growing up, we always thought growing up is what we wanted to do.

Kevin Lowe: And then we get there, we're like, nope, please somebody hit the rewind button.

Kate Gladdin: Yeah, take me back where the biggest, you know, thing of my afternoon is beating my cousin, you know, the noodle wall.

Kate Gladdin: It's like, yeah, there's so much, you know, to get that innocence back would be a beautiful thing.

Kate Gladdin: But, you know, we can't turn back time. All we can do is continue forward and enjoying the present moment.

Kate Gladdin: But I do hold very dearly, you know, I just, I had such an amazing family-filled childhood and that means a lot to me.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. I love it. Now, as you grew older and stuff, did you ever have any type of dreams for the future?

Kevin Lowe: Like any dream careers or specific plans of like going to college after high school? Anything like that?

Kate Gladdin: Well, if you looked at my, I think it was like year one, so it was kind of like first grade yearbook. It says, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Kate Gladdin: And I said, I want to own a dog farm.

Kate Gladdin: And I wanted to have hundreds of dogs.

Kate Gladdin: That was what I put. So I don't quite have a dog farm. I've got two beautiful dogs now, though. So I'm somewhat there. And I live on a few acres.

Kate Gladdin: So maybe a little bit of a dog farm. But I always really loved surprising now, given my, sorry, not surprising now given my occupation is a speaker, but I always really loved speech and drama, public speaking.

Kate Gladdin: Expressing myself, taking a message and using it to connect with an audience, move an audience.

Kate Gladdin: I remember like third grade, Kate used to get pulled out of class to go learn poems and monologues for competition. So I did always really love connecting through speech, but I didn't really know what I wanted to do with that.

Kate Gladdin: I remember telling dad, I just want to be like a public speaker.

Kate Gladdin: He's like, what are you going to talk about? I'm like, I don't know because leaving high school, I haven't really yet, have a story. And I always tell students who come up to me now and I'm like, I want to do what you do.

Kate Gladdin: I'm like, let life kind of happen and unfold for you. You never know where it might lead you.

Kate Gladdin: But I did end up going into, I got a business degree and I was planning on specializing more in like marketing and PR because I'm like, you know, then that way you're kind of constantly pitching and bringing ideas to life, which I really love.

Kate Gladdin: So I had a corporate job actually straight out of university.

Kate Gladdin: And I did that for about six weeks to quit and really discover it wasn't for me.

Kate Gladdin: But that's because between getting that job and starting it, there was a pretty big life quake, I like to say, kind of shattered my family and I in the lead up to that.

Kate Gladdin: And I realized I really wanted different things out of life than just sitting at a corporate desk all day.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, yeah, understandable. Before we get to that life quake moment, would you mind sharing with me a little bit more about your siblings as far as who they were, y'all's relationship growing up, if you were close, remain close even as you got older? I was kind of curious about that.

Kate Gladdin: Oh gosh. So my sister and I shared a room up until I was about 12 or 13.

Kate Gladdin: So like she, from the moment I'd wake up to the moment I'd go to sleep, like my sister was always around. So we were super close.

Kate Gladdin: We didn't actually fight that much for sisters, which was nice.

Kate Gladdin: But I just, I always looked up to Nicole. She was four years older than me.

Kate Gladdin: So there was this age gap where I just wanted to be her.

Kate Gladdin: She was the most beautiful ballet dancer. So I did ballet and was maybe the beautiful didn't quite match me. But I tried.

Kate Gladdin: She was very loud and just like you'd hear from a mile away.

Kate Gladdin: So I just always really admired her energy, her love for life, her courage to go after things.

Kate Gladdin: And my brother and I, you know, I look back and we, him and I used to play a lot of Xbox together.

Kate Gladdin: So I used to love car racing and all those kind of games.

Kate Gladdin: And so we'd play those and I always looked up to just, my brother was the more studious one very hard working and so I kind of as the little sibling again looked up and wanted to do well academically like he did my sister was very bright but can't say she loved her schoolwork whatever she put her mind to she you know she could do it but she had to make sure she liked what she was learning otherwise she wasn't that interested in it but yeah so I um yeah you know we go on uh family trips together

Kate Gladdin: and and I really I'm grateful that I had two siblings to look up to.

Kate Gladdin: And now my brother and I, we live in opposite ends of the world now, but he's got three beautiful boys.

Kate Gladdin: So I'm the auntie to three nephews now, which is awesome.

Kate Gladdin: And we always catch up when I go back home and everything like that.

Kate Gladdin: And I guess my sister and I are still very close, I guess, just in a way that I never really imagined.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Yeah. Well...

Kevin Lowe: Well, Kate, talk to me about your sister and talk to me about that life quake moment, I think you called it.

Kevin Lowe: If you wouldn't mind, take me back to that day, to that time period, and share with me what happened.

Kate Gladdin: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I guess I should note, I remember going to bed the night before and I feel so, that person who I was feels so foreign to me now.

Kate Gladdin: But I was very perfectionistic. I was quite an anxious person, very high achieving, very much like I need to try and control all the things I can because I need to try and be really smart and well-liked and successful.

Kate Gladdin: And so success for me was very externalized, what people thought of me and all this kind of stuff.

Kate Gladdin: And I think I just wanted to mention that because it's what happened next really made me rethink all of my priorities in life.

Kate Gladdin: But I do remember going to bed and I was very stressed about my university exams that I had coming up.

Kate Gladdin: It was a Friday night. So I also think I was stressing about what I was going to wear to the party the next day because, you know, all the important things.

Kate Gladdin: And, you know, I just went to bed and I actually remember I looked on Facebook and my sister had posted up some really beautiful photos because she was on a holiday, as we'd say, but a vacation to Thailand with her boyfriend at the time, Jamie.

Kate Gladdin: And I was just jealous. I was like, I look like they're having the nicest time.

Kate Gladdin: I just wish I was lying on a beach reading a book. And so I went to bed that night and yeah, I still can hear that.

Kate Gladdin: I noticed my phone was ringing and I normally don't hear it.

Kate Gladdin: So it was surprising, but I grabbed it and I flipped over and I could see it was like 3.37 AM. And I'm like, cause it's 3.37. And then I realized it was my mom.

Kate Gladdin: And, you know, when your mom's calling you at 3.30 in the morning, you know, it's not for just a nice little hello chat.

Kate Gladdin: So I answered it and, you know, I'm half asleep, like what's going on?

Kate Gladdin: And it's funny, this is like, you know, only a sister would know this.

Kate Gladdin: Mom's like, do you know your sister's email password?

Kate Gladdin: Like, what's going on? It's 3.30 in the morning.

Kate Gladdin: I'm like, what are you talking about? And I remember at first, my mom was just trying to, I think, remain composed to not stress me out too much.

Kate Gladdin: But she's just like, look, your sister's been in an accident.

Kate Gladdin: We just need to try and get into her travel insurance.

Kate Gladdin: And apparently, it's on her email. And I feel like you'll be able to guess her password, which I did, like only a sister can.

Kate Gladdin: So I forwarded that along. And in my head at first, my sister, despite being a dancer, I'm very beautifully coordinated and moving poetry on stage.

Kate Gladdin: She also kind of was very accident-prone. I don't know.

Kate Gladdin: She was once on this, like, do you guys have the water ride where you sit in a donut and you just blob around and it kind of carries you around like a lagoon?

Kate Gladdin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I can't remember what it's called.

Kevin Lowe: Like a lazy river?

Kate Gladdin: Yeah, yeah, something like that. The most chill ride in, like, this is a theme park in Australia called Wet n Wild.

Kate Gladdin: Oh, we have one of those. Okay, yeah. So we went there a lot as kids because my nan, she lives on the Gold Coast in Queensland. So we'd go up every year and spend some time with her up there. And we always used it at a theme park.

Kate Gladdin: And I remember it just like Nicole on the most calm ride, fell off her donut, hit her head and got a mini concussion. And I just remember she got wheeled out in a wheelchair.

Kate Gladdin: And so I was just like, oh gosh, like she's probably done something just like silly, like the donut ride.

Kate Gladdin: Like I wasn't too worried. And then it was just as I went to hang up the phone, mum goes, look, she's being rushed into surgery with head injuries and just pray to God she survives.

Kate Gladdin: And that was the beginning of the life quake.

Kate Gladdin: That was when the tremors started setting in because I was like, what do you mean pray to God to yourself? Like, what?

Kate Gladdin: And so that's when, you know, I just, that anxiety, the shaking and everything comes over you.

Kate Gladdin: And so I couldn't sleep anymore. By this point, it's probably like 4 or 4.30 a.m.

Kate Gladdin: And so I got up and I went down and watched the sunrise by the beach that morning and just trying to wait for the news and that morning was like it was just the most beautiful sunrise coming up over the ocean and I really I felt like oh my gosh this is my sign like Nicole's going to be okay it's going to be so beautiful like I took a photo of the sunrise with the intention of showing the Nicole the photo when I would go and visit her because you know she's going to be okay and then by this point I'm like I should probably head back to my parents because

Kate Gladdin: I was actually at my boyfriend at the time's house.

Kate Gladdin: And so I kind of get in the car and I'm like, okay, here we go.

Kate Gladdin: My phone starts ringing.

Kate Gladdin: And it's funny how your brain tries to rationalize things. Like I saw it ringing and I'm like, mom just wants me to get some milk on the way home.

Kate Gladdin: So I answered it just so casually. And my mom just screamed, she didn't make it.

Kate Gladdin: And I just thank God I wasn't driving at the time.

Kate Gladdin: I remember like I had not quite even closed the car door yet so I just literally fell back out of the car onto the grass and I just, yeah, I...

Kate Gladdin: I wanted to scream, but you can't like, it just felt like all my oxygen was gone from my lungs.

Kate Gladdin: And I'm like, I just, I don't remember my, I remember running inside my, my boyfriend at the time's dad grabbing me, like, you know, they just put me in a car, they drive me home.

Kate Gladdin: And then we get home and there's just already people in the house because mom and dad had already booked flights to go and rush to be at Nicole's side in Thailand.

Kate Gladdin: And so that was also really so overwhelming because I'm walking in, there's people everywhere. I know they're trying to help, But really, all I want is to hug my mom and dad.

Kate Gladdin: But then, you know, in my hug with mom, she's like, look, I just need you to look at me like we've booked our flights. We've got to leave for the airport.

Kate Gladdin: Your dad and I, we're leaving in 30 minutes.

Kate Gladdin: And, you know, I just lost my sister, my best friend, like the person I thought was always going to be by my side.

Kate Gladdin: And then to physically let my mom and my dad go at that moment when I really needed them was so hard.

Kate Gladdin: But I know that Nicole really needed them more in those moments.

Kate Gladdin: Like she deserved and would have wanted and I wanted for her, for mom and dad to bring her home.

Kevin Lowe: Wow. Now, how old were you at this point?

Kate Gladdin: Oh, I was 20 and Nicole was 24.

Kevin Lowe: Wow. Now, your brother, did you call him or your parents call him?

Kate Gladdin: That would have been my parents, I believe. I remember he was at the house around the same time, I think.

Kate Gladdin: And then he and his wife moved in back into my parents' house where I was kind of like half living, half not like, you know, kind of 20-ish years old where you just bounce it around the place, living life.

Kate Gladdin: But yeah, they moved back in and it was about a week or so that mom and dad ended up having to be away because unfortunately, the justice system in Thailand, the legal system.

Kate Gladdin: Is to be quite honest somewhat corrupt and so i felt like very quickly it went from you know oh my god my sister's died like the pain and the grief to just fear and confusion because basically to describe for listeners what happened because we actually have video footage of it that we got from the hotel nicole and jamie had just been out for a quiet dinner one night.

Kate Gladdin: And in all other photos that we've seen of Nicole riding like a moped, motorbike, things that people hire in countries like Southeast Asia to get around, she's wearing a helmet.

Kate Gladdin: But this one time, I can imagine she's been out to dinner, she's got her hair done, she's feeling beautiful.

Kate Gladdin: She didn't put a helmet on this one time. And they're turning into the driveway of their hotel, like meters from safety.

Kate Gladdin: When you just see this local rider just speed up on the wrong side of the road, like he just cuts up on the wrong side of the road and hits and slams into the back of the bike at which Nicole was on.

Kate Gladdin: So Nicole did take the full impact.

Kate Gladdin: Like her partner, Jamie, who was driving the bike, barely had a scratch.

Kate Gladdin: But unfortunately, Nicole fell off, hit her head, and yeah, didn't make it.

Kate Gladdin: And I think it was so hard because the Thai police wanted Jamie to sign something, a statement that he couldn't understand. He's like, this is all in Thai.

Kate Gladdin: I'm not signing it. So they took his passport.

Kate Gladdin: So he couldn't leave the country. And so my dad, like, my God, like, just his strength.

Kate Gladdin: I admire him so much. You know, his daughter's just being killed. But he spent...

Kate Gladdin: At least a day or two with Jamie in the police station, sitting opposite the police, trying to negotiate with them to get Jamie's passport back.

Kate Gladdin: So it was everything from, you know, they even suggested at one point, let's just say Nicole was driving.

Kate Gladdin: And mom's like, no, we're not blaming my daughter for something that was not at all her fault.

Kate Gladdin: And we have video footage of it. And we're just so lucky that the hotel gave the footage to us and not the police, because I don't know.

Kate Gladdin: That was our only bargaining chip to be like you can't make up a story we have the full story here but you know there's there's atms in the police station there just put it that way um wow yeah so it was intense like i just remember my mom holding the video footage in her hand like i think it was on like a cd-rom back then because this is 2012 so you know technology wasn't what it is today and she and she was on like a glitchy skype call and just seeing the fear in her face like she's like we just gotta we've got to hold on to this

Kate Gladdin: footage to try and get Jamie out.

Kate Gladdin: But my dad stood by him and negotiated and it ended up being, I think he ended up signing a blank statement.

Kate Gladdin: They just signed this piece of paper and there was nothing on it.

Kate Gladdin: And then we had to pay some compensation to the other driver for damage to his bike.

Kate Gladdin: So it was all really very messy, very unjust.

Kate Gladdin: And I think it's just It's also the lack of empathy or care that they were showing towards my parents, you know, who've just lost a daughter. It was really challenging.

Kate Gladdin: And I think that's where, you know, unfortunately, I mean, we won't give away the full story now, but just sitting where I am now today, I can't believe how.

Kate Gladdin: Much a lot of it feels like deja vu.

Kate Gladdin: But yeah, so that kind of is what happened.

Kate Gladdin: It took about, yeah, about a week for them to get home. And then that's kind of when it finally felt like the reality set in of like, oh, Nicole's not coming home.

Kate Gladdin: I remember the airline kindly organized just like a private room for us to meet at the airport when they got off the plane. And I just remember my mom walking in with this huge brim white hat.

Kate Gladdin: And it was the hat that I remember Nicole had bought a couple of days before she left. And she was like, Katie, look at my hat.

Kate Gladdin: Like she was all excited to take it with her to Thailand.

Kate Gladdin: And then just seeing this hat without Nicole being able to wear it and just seeing that empty hat, I was just like, oh God, she really has gone.

Kate Gladdin: So then the next week or two was, you know, I'm 20 years old and writing a funeral speech.

Kate Gladdin: And coming face-to-face with the reality that if it had been me where my sister was, would I be proud of how I'm living life, how I treat people, how I talk to people?

Kate Gladdin: The honest answer was no. It really made me reflect how much my fear of failure, my fear of what other people think of me really dictated so many of my decisions.

Kate Gladdin: And so that was a big, painful wake-up call. but I stood at my sister's memorial and delivered that speech and made that commitment to now live my life with more passion, more courage, more compassion for others.

Kate Gladdin: And I've done my best. I'm not perfect at it, but it's really kind of what's put me towards this path that I'm now on today.

Kevin Lowe: Wow. Speaking at your sister's memorial service, was that something that you immediately knew that you wanted to do, you had to do, or was that a hard decision?

Kevin Lowe: Because anytime that I've gone to a funeral, somebody who's lost somebody, especially just unexpected, I always have such admiration for the people closest to them who can get up and speak.

Kevin Lowe: How was that for you?

Kate Gladdin: Honestly, it was the first option that you mentioned.

Kate Gladdin: It just felt like you couldn't have stopped me if you tried it.

Kate Gladdin: I needed it for my own healing.

Kate Gladdin: Because as I've said, since a young girl, and I don't know if there's, you know, I hate looking back and going, this was meant to happen. I don't believe that.

Kate Gladdin: But at the same time, I've always felt like, you know, when I lost my sister, I felt like I'd lost everything but my voice.

Kate Gladdin: And so I just I had to stand up there for her because she doesn't get to speak anymore but I know I knew my sister well enough and I still feel like you know like she's whispering things in my ear is like what to express and what to say and so yeah I do look back now like just seeing little 20 year old me I didn't feel that young at the time you know you're like oh I'm 20 I'm so grown up.

Kate Gladdin: Now I'm like, oh my gosh, I was just a baby. Yeah. I do have admiration for my younger self being able to do that.

Kate Gladdin: But it was like, my brother did it. My mom did it.

Kate Gladdin: My dad did it. I think the love gives you strength that you did not know that you had.

Kate Gladdin: My love is deeper than my pain right now.

Kate Gladdin: So it really, I think it helps you find the words and the courage to speak.

Kate Gladdin: And, you know, I even spoke out and this kind of can pivot a little bit as to what journey it took me on next.

Kate Gladdin: But like I spoke at my gym's Christmas party.

Kate Gladdin: It was like four weeks after Nicole died delivering a message on travel safety because I had discovered that an Australian tourist was dying in Thailand every two to three days with a major cause being from accidents where people have taken risks that they wouldn't only take back at home.

Kate Gladdin: Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Kate Gladdin: In Southeast Asia in its entirety, it's like an Australian tourist is dying there. I think it's like basically every day.

Kate Gladdin: There are a mix of causes, but a huge part of it is that part of the world just don't have the same safety standards.

Kate Gladdin: They don't have the same care for life. And so you get over there and you see people riding without helmets and kind of having a few drinks and getting on the road and like just being so carefree like there's no rules but without rules you're also without any protection and so many young Aussies love to travel to these places and they are beautiful and they you know they've got so much going for them I'm not trying to say don't visit there or the people most people there are really some of the you know

Kate Gladdin: most beautiful people you'll meet but you do have to take your safety seriously because split second And decisions can change lives forever.

Kate Gladdin: And so that's why I'm like, I can't change what happened. I can't change the culture over there.

Kate Gladdin: I can't change the legal system over there. But I can make people more aware and better prepared for what they might need abroad in these places and try and shatter the sense of invincibility that it won't happen to me.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Grief. It looks different for all of us.

Kevin Lowe: How did you handle the grief in the weeks, the months after?

Kevin Lowe: Was there anything that you did to help yourself?

Kevin Lowe: Obviously, your life started taking new directions. Maybe it was as much as you just having to focus forward and pivot.

Kevin Lowe: I was just kind of curious, how was it for you, this grief journey of this young woman, 20 years old tragically losing your sister and now trying to to live in this world without her yeah

Kate Gladdin: Yeah.

Kate Gladdin: I mean, the first few weeks and everything, it does feel like such a blur, but I can mention just a few things that I know will help because the only way through grief is through it.

Kate Gladdin: It demands to be felt because it comes really, it comes from love.

Kate Gladdin: We don't grieve people just because we've lost them, but because we love them.

Kate Gladdin: And so I think what I did quite, looking back now, I can see really was helpful.

Kate Gladdin: Please know at least once a day, every day for the first year, basically, there was big meltdowns and crying.

Kate Gladdin: But I think that's actually part of being resilient is letting yourself feeling it and let it out. Our body releases endorphins after a big cry.

Kate Gladdin: It does help actually be resilient through crying. So I think it's allowing myself to feel what I needed to feel.

Kate Gladdin: My little mantra that I had and I still have today is smile and laugh whenever you can and cry and reflect whenever you need to.

Kate Gladdin: It's just like trying to make space for.

Kate Gladdin: The full human experience. And I think that's really important because I think too many people are focused on trying to be happy.

Kate Gladdin: I'm like, you don't want to be happy when you lose someone that you love.

Kate Gladdin: You want to feel what you need to feel in order to honor and process the whole experience of grief.

Kate Gladdin: But I did do like, I know even, I think it was like the next day or probably two days after I think, Nicole died.

Kate Gladdin: I got myself into the gym and I remember I think I was walking like two miles an hour.

Kate Gladdin: It was very slow. But that metaphor of just being on the treadmill and just putting one foot in front of the other and letting my body remind me of my strength and my ability, it just was a good metaphor of like, this is how you're going to get through this, just one foot in front of the other.

Kate Gladdin: I did a lot of journaling. I found it quite helpful to journal to my sister. So I would write to her.

Kate Gladdin: Each day. And I remember I'd always give myself the challenge to finish the journal, like the entry with something based in like gratitude and love and not just focused on the pain.

Kate Gladdin: Because I would picture if I was getting the chance to speak to Nicole one last time, I wouldn't just want to sit there and tell her how much pain I'm in and make her feel bad.

Kate Gladdin: I'd want to just remember like the reason this hurt so much is because I had someone I loved so much and brought so much into my life and so I would try and find that that balance again in the journaling I spent a lot of time outside in nature I'd watch sunrises because my sister would always love sunrise and it became quite a you know cathartic time for me because I did watch the sunrise the morning she died and looking back at that photo now you know I thought it was the sign she was going to be okay.

Kate Gladdin: But in this way, I feel like it was her way saying, like, I am okay.

Kate Gladdin: This is just going to be a new beginning for us both. We're going to have to learn how to be sisters in a whole new way.

Kate Gladdin: And I've just had to learn how to love beyond what... And wow, Kevin, I didn't... I realized as I say this, you really know this yourself.

Kate Gladdin: It's being able to love what you can't necessarily see now. You've got to learn beyond like how to...

Kate Gladdin: I know my sister's still in this world. I just can't see her.

Kate Gladdin: She's not in this tangible way anymore. And I've just had to learn how to love her in a different way.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. You know what? That's how I feel like we all have to get through life when change happens, is we have to learn how to love in a different way.

Kevin Lowe: Just like me, I had to learn how to see in a different way.

Kevin Lowe: You know before we continue tell me again because i loved it and i want to be sure that the person listening soaked it in the mantra that you said it was so simple but it was so perfect yeah

Kate Gladdin: Yeah it really is sometimes when we just simplify it all down it hits such a truth so my mantra for for grief, for life in general, really, is, you know, smile and laugh whenever you can and cry and reflect whenever you need to.

Kevin Lowe: Mm-hmm.

Kevin Lowe: I absolutely love that.

Kate Gladdin: Yeah. I think it's good because I like whenever you can because it's, I don't know, sometimes I think people feel pressured to be positive and smiley and bubbly.

Kate Gladdin: It's like you don't have to every day, but when you can, when you can find those moments.

Kate Gladdin: And I think it's an interesting thing with grief too and I'm sure many listeners who have had an experience with grief is it is strange that first time you start smiling and laughing again and some people start to feel guilty for that.

Kate Gladdin: So I think it's also giving yourself permission to be happy again, to find moments of joy again and know that that's not saying you're happy that they're not here anymore.

Kate Gladdin: I always say like, every day I get on this earth is another day my sister didn't and it's up to me to make the most of it I you know she'd give anything to have a laugh to watch a sunrise to, you know, hug my dad one more time. So it's just like, I want to experience these moments and now I'm doing it for the two of us.

Kate Gladdin: So yeah, that mantra, I hope it helps someone out there because it really kind of brings it back to the truth of what life is all about.

Kevin Lowe: 100%. I love it. I love it. Well, talk to me moving forward, your career path.

Kevin Lowe: You briefly mentioned earlier about getting a job but you were there for a very short time when then this tragic accident happened with your sister and then life has gone off in this whole other direction talk to me about forming the foundation for your sister and just all the things to follow yeah

Kate Gladdin: So i feel like the first little spark of an idea of the foundation for Nicole was, I remember in the week or two after she died, it looked like we lived in a floral shop.

Kate Gladdin: There were so many flowers in the house and it was so beautiful.

Kate Gladdin: People were just pouring their hearts out. When someone's so young and so loved and dies so suddenly, it really does send an earthquake through the community so the outpouring was unbelievable because my sister was just you know she was a dancer and she was involved in so many different things so she had friends everywhere literally around the world because she danced in london and new zealand and japan and so it was just like incredible but we're like there's like thousands of dollars worth

Kate Gladdin: of flowers in here and these poor things are going to die you know in about a week we want people contributing to something that's going to live on beyond Nicole and carry forward her legacy.

Kate Gladdin: We had a funeral that was kind of semi-private. Only a few hundred people went to that.

Kate Gladdin: And then we said goodbye to Nicole there.

Kate Gladdin: And then we had her celebration of life at the local football stadium for, because my sister was a huge rugby league fan and they, she worked at a TV station at the time.

Kate Gladdin: So we were able to put together just this incredible celebration of life, huge like screens and over 3000 people attended her, her memorial there.

Kevin Lowe: Wow.

Kate Gladdin: Yeah. And there were like hundreds and hundreds also streaming online.

Kate Gladdin: And so ahead of that, we're like, let's let people know that we've decided initially due to Nicole's love of dance and like performing and just love of like watching people go for their dreams.

Kate Gladdin: Like Nicole would cry watching people win gold medals at the Olympics.

Kate Gladdin: She'd be like, oh my God, just imagine how that feels.

Kate Gladdin: Like she was just so happy for them. And she also, though.

Kate Gladdin: Went to a performing arts school where a lot of the students came from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, and they didn't get the opportunities that she had growing up to go to certain competitions.

Kate Gladdin: And she really hated when finance was the thing holding such talented, passionate people back. And so that's why we decided we'll give grants to performing artists and athletes who were, going through some sort of adversity themselves and financially being held back and could use just that bit of extra support to get to that next step because that's what Nicole was all about.

Kate Gladdin: It's not just about the result. It's about the experience of just going out there and giving life the best of you regardless of the outcome.

Kate Gladdin: And so that's what started the foundation. So we launched it at her memorial, the Nicole Fitzsimons Foundation.

Kate Gladdin: Where I kind of started to find my my next calling and purpose was honestly just through my own curiosity at first I remember, sitting at the family table and just like feeling so broken and I'm like how many other poor families are going through what we're going through like how is this my sister just you know is this just a senseless accident or how often is this happening and so I just went on google and literally googled like you know motorbike tourist accidents in Thailand and

Kate Gladdin: that's when I discovered that alarming statistic I told you of losing an Australian over there every two to three days and in Bali every four days and you know Thailand have the second deadliest roads in the entire world yet it's promoted over there as such a fun thing to do to just hire a motorbike on roads that you have no idea how it works over there and everything like that.

Kate Gladdin: And so I sat back and I'm like.

Kate Gladdin: You know what, like, I know I can't save everyone, but if I can save one life, if I can help one young person make a different decision in honor of Nicole, and that helps bring them home safely and smiling to their loved ones, like, I'm not going to stop until I can do something about that.

Kate Gladdin: So that's when I decided, like, what if I started sharing Nicole's story and speaking at schools and just telling them, you know, sharing some of the video footage, we don't show the actual impact, but it shows the split second before it.

Kate Gladdin: And it just felt like every bone in my body wanted me to do it.

Kate Gladdin: But I did have already this corporate job lined up, which was a really big deal to get.

Kate Gladdin: And so, you know what? I'll just give it a go and see.

Kate Gladdin: But very quickly, I knew it wasn't quite the right fit. I'm glad I did it.

Kate Gladdin: Now running my own business and there's hard days with that, I still know I'd be happier doing this than that kind of work life.

Kate Gladdin: Just nothing against the corporate world at all. It just definitely doesn't suit what I wanted out of a career.

Kate Gladdin: So after about, yeah, six weeks, I started in January. And then by, I think it was like end of February-ish, I was like.

Kate Gladdin: I told my parents, I need to talk to you. And they're like, oh God, what have you got to say? Because I was kind of nervous.

Kate Gladdin: I'm 20. I'm still very much looking for my parents' approval and things.

Kate Gladdin: And I was kind of nervous to tell them that I think I want to quit my job.

Kate Gladdin: But when I told my dad, I want to quit my job.

Kate Gladdin: I want to take on Nicole's foundation full-time. I want to travel to schools.

Kate Gladdin: I want to share this around Australia.

Kate Gladdin: He started crying, but they were just like tears of joy and love because he's like oh my god I'm so proud he goes I would never ever want to influence your career I was never going to tell you to quit but he was very proud and that was great you know I was at I was 20 years old I moved back in with my parents like because I wasn't getting paid at first this was all pro bono like just trying to create a movement so thankfully I was at an age where I'd already got my degree out of the way but I wasn't yet bogged down with a mortgage.

Kate Gladdin: So I could be, and that's what I try and encourage so many young people.

Kate Gladdin: I see so many trying to, they're like 23 and they're trying to race into like certainty over their life and locking in decisions. I'm like, uh-uh, you're 27.

Kate Gladdin: You know, exploring and messing up and learning and trying and risking and growing.

Kate Gladdin: And so, yeah, I'm very passionate about trying to carry that forward because that was the best thing I did. It's put me on the path I'm on today.

Kate Gladdin: And to cut a long story short, I ended up taking my presentation to all states around Australia, reaching over 300,000 students. We ended up partnering with the Australian government who we're still now proud to be partners with.

Kate Gladdin: They have an arm of their government called Smart Traveler and they promote very similar travel safety and tips to be aware of so I drive a lot of students there like they have at every country you visit around the world they just have a page of like hey.

Kate Gladdin: Here's the risks and things to be mindful of when you're traveling there.

Kate Gladdin: And I also partnered with the Insurance Council of Australia because I never thought I'd be 20 years old and passionate about travel insurance.

Kate Gladdin: But I can tell you it saved my family over $50,000 and they were so caring.

Kate Gladdin: They even sent flowers to be at Nicole's funeral.

Kate Gladdin: They really helped us navigate a very scary and overwhelming situation of bringing a body back home from overseas.

Kate Gladdin: So just financially, but also emotionally, the support of having travel insurance was huge, yet so many young people don't even know it exists or why bother paying a few hundred dollars to insure your trip.

Kate Gladdin: And so just sharing with them how financially devastating it can be if you do require any medical treatment overseas to have that financial protection through the insurance is absolutely essential.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. That's incredible, incredible journey.

Kevin Lowe: I think the part of that story that touched me the most is you sitting down with your parents and your father crying.

Kevin Lowe: And I think that's, it's such a beautiful thing and I think it just lends its hand to showing how important, meaningful, purposeful the work that you were about to embark on was going to be.

Kevin Lowe: You know that it's it's it's bigger than just your sister you know it's it's bigger than than one person it's bigger than than just you deciding to to leave this corporate career and do this it's bigger than all that it's bigger it's about helping people who knows how many people that you've been able to touch and help.

Kevin Lowe: I think that's absolutely amazing. And none of us want to experience loss But I always say, if we can find a way, though, that on the other side of whatever the tragic event is, if we can find a way to make good come out of it, that's what it's about, you know, because it doesn't need to be for nothing.

Kevin Lowe: And I think that's just really powerful.

Kevin Lowe: So I guess, curious about your life then, this is all in Australia.

Kevin Lowe: You, when would moving to America come into play?

Kate Gladdin: Oh, yeah. I can certainly tell you it wasn't initially in the plans at all.

Kate Gladdin: But I guess I did the presentations in person from like 2012 to about 2016.

Kate Gladdin: And I, you know, people would resonate, like love the travel safety message, but then they were really just inspired by exactly what you said, like that ability to move.

Kate Gladdin: Not only find the good, but create the good and find meaning and move forward and be resilient.

Kate Gladdin: And so I'd have these 17, 18-year-old boys move to tears by the story.

Kate Gladdin: And then so many of them would be like, oh my gosh, I don't know how you're so strong up there. I could never be that strong.

Kate Gladdin: And that's really what ignited my passion when I really pivoted more towards resilience and how to build it during tough times. Because I was like, oh my gosh, I used to be mentally fragile at best.

Kate Gladdin: I was not born resilient. Everything used to crumble me like losing a tennis match.

Kate Gladdin: So I really became passionate about, okay, I've got my story now, but I really want to learn strategies and how to teach them to other people because I know that they have this same potential and capacity to be resilient as I do.

Kate Gladdin: So in 2016, I went over to California and I did a week like life coaching program that continued on a few months after that, but the rest of it was virtual.

Kate Gladdin: But that was my first big moment of kind of betting on myself.

Kate Gladdin: It was like, it was quite expensive, but I really felt called to do it.

Kate Gladdin: And so I kind of got certified in life coaching back then, like around by 2017, I kind of was also starting to expand into the resilience world and wanting to still do the travel safety talks, but then also begin to talk about resilience and kind of mental strength and.

Kate Gladdin: I'd done a few schools and put together my first website. And again, I found this lady who is now a dear friend of mine, but I loved her websites.

Kate Gladdin: But again, because the Australian dollar does not stack up very well against the US dollar.

Kate Gladdin: So I'm just like barely any money I was making, I was just pouring into my business at the time.

Kate Gladdin: And so I started my own little company.

Kate Gladdin: It was in my major, like Kate Fitzsimons Proprietary Limited.

Kate Gladdin: I was going all in and I set up this website.

Kate Gladdin: And I remember thinking like, I've got to think as my future self, as the businesswoman and impact leader that I want to be.

Kate Gladdin: So I created this great website and it was honestly like the best investment that I made because a few months later, a school principal in Idaho Falls found my website, loved it, loved my messaging and everything on it.

Kate Gladdin: So he reached out and invited me to speak with his students that December and, of 2018 in Idaho Falls. And so I was like, oh my God, I want to speak in America. Like that blew my mind.

Kate Gladdin: There's a thing called poor poppy syndrome. Have you ever heard of that, Kevin?

Kevin Lowe: Yes, but explain it to me. I want to be sure I'm on the same page. Okay.

Kate Gladdin: So basically, and God love Australian. Like I'm very proud to be an Aussie, but we do kind of have this sentiment. I think we get it a bit from the Brits where it's kind of like you can't grow too big for your own boots.

Kate Gladdin: Like they would say, oh, you can't, you know, people don't make it in America that like Aussies can't make it over there.

Kate Gladdin: There's too many people over there to make it big. Like we kind of don't really embrace the whole like American dream, AKA Australian dream.

Kate Gladdin: Like, I don't know. There's sometimes a little like, I always had this glass ceiling of like, that wouldn't be possible for me.

Kate Gladdin: So when it came along, it was like, I still remember the moment when it all got locked in and I was just like, going to America.

Kate Gladdin: And there might have been a double reason why that was exciting because I might have met a particular American on a trip earlier that year to the US with my mom.

Kate Gladdin: We had spent three weeks, two weeks in New York and a week in D.C.

Kate Gladdin: And because we actually sponsored a rugby league team, the Brooklyn Kings, through my sister's foundation, they wore the logo on their shirts and we gave them some funding to get them started over there from someone that Nicole had worked with.

Kate Gladdin: But anyway, we wanted to go watch them live. And so went over there and it's actually through a podcast, Kevin, that I met my now husband.

Kevin Lowe: Oh, wow.

Kate Gladdin: Yeah, because he has a show or had a show called The Rugby League in America podcast.

Kate Gladdin: And the owner of the Brooklyn Kings, Matt, my husband, Nate, had reached out to Matt and said, Oh, I'd love to get you on the show about the Kings.

Kate Gladdin: And Matt said, Oh yeah, you should also just chat with this girl, Kate.

Kate Gladdin: They're doing this really cool thing through the foundation that's really inspiring.

Kate Gladdin: So you should reach out to Kate.

Kate Gladdin: And so he reaches out to me and I find out he's in DC and I was like, Oh, we should just meet up while I'm in DC in like a couple of weeks.

Kate Gladdin: So Nate and I and my mom we all went to dinner when we're in DC and then I guess the rest is kind of history.

Kevin Lowe: Wow you know we knew there had to be a love story in there somewhere

Kate Gladdin: Yeah I like to say my sister was playing matchmaker you know from heaven because it was through her foundation so she's found this American who's crazy about rugby league which is her favorite game in the world and yeah kind of Nate, I was like, oh, I'm going to need a driver while I'm in Idaho Falls because I don't know how to drive in the snow.

Kate Gladdin: But yeah, that's kind of what started my American dream over here.

Kate Gladdin: And it was an amazing week.

Kate Gladdin: The students loved it. The teachers loved it. And so much so, his name's Bob Devine.

Kate Gladdin: That is the legend that I attribute my entire American journey to.

Kate Gladdin: He's a school principal, but he started up his own company so he could sponsor my visa to come over here and work. And so I put my head down and got my O-1 visa, which was the most expensive and hardest process I've done.

Kate Gladdin: But I wanted to make sure I got to the U.S.

Kate Gladdin: Off my own back and my own efforts. And so that was approved in, I think it was March, like 16, 2020.

Kate Gladdin: So I was like, woohoo, I'm going to go move to America and then got shut down and stuck in Australia for six months because of good old COVID.

Kevin Lowe: Yes.

Kate Gladdin: But yeah, in August, 2020 is when I moved over to the States and initially my husband was in the military.

Kate Gladdin: I'm very proud of his 23 years of service in the, in the air force, but he was, I lived in New Jersey for three years with him.

Kate Gladdin: And then we decided we wanted to get off the East coast and find somewhere peaceful, which is what took us to Wyoming.

Kevin Lowe: Wow. That is absolutely amazing.

Kevin Lowe: So, we bring us up to speed. So, you move to America.

Kevin Lowe: You find this love. Life is started over not too long ago. We're not talking about a long time.

Kevin Lowe: And I didn't realize that it has been that recent.

Kevin Lowe: And I would say life has been going good up until the time, honestly, Kate, of me and you first meeting.

Kevin Lowe: Because I was going to have you on the podcast and we were going to be talking about the story of your sister, about Nicole.

Kevin Lowe: And then as if life can't be hard enough, tragedy had to strike twice for you.

Kevin Lowe: Would you mind sharing what happened next?

Kate Gladdin: Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Kate Gladdin: Here we go. I think this is my first time. I actually spoke about this on the weekend in my first keynote addressing it.

Kate Gladdin: So this will be my first kind of podcast episode. So I just ask for grace, whatever comes out over the next few minutes, because it's obviously still quite raw for me.

Kate Gladdin: But I'm very determined to continue to honor this very special person to me also. So, yeah, so we live in a really beautiful town.

Kate Gladdin: It's called Sheridan in Wyoming. If you haven't visited it, it's picturesque mountains and a great downtown.

Kate Gladdin: And so my parents came and visited me here last year. They stayed for three weeks and we had the best time.

Kate Gladdin: And my mom lived, I feel like history and my pop loved like cowboy movies. And so that's her dad.

Kate Gladdin: And so she really loved everything around here and the community.

Kate Gladdin: She just, I was so excited when they came and visited again this May.

Kate Gladdin: The trip was off to a beautiful start. We're out and about downtown and mum and I went mother-daughter shopping on the weekend.

Kate Gladdin: And I just was really loving like, oh, this is so nice to just have my mum around and get to do these little everyday moments that when you live across the world, you don't get to do with your parents as much.

Kate Gladdin: So yeah, it was great. And mum even went to the Memorial Day service was on the Monday because she's like, oh, we've got to pay our respects to the troops.

Kate Gladdin: And so mom was always really wanting to be involved in the community.

Kate Gladdin: And so she went to the funeral home there and went to their memorial service.

Kate Gladdin: And that'll come full circle in a moment.

Kate Gladdin: But yeah, it was a Wednesday, the 28th of May. And I'd done some coaching in the morning.

Kate Gladdin: And mom was pottering around the house. And I had a meeting downtown.

Kate Gladdin: My friend does like a Boss Babes networking meeting for female business owners in the area. and you know I nearly didn't go because I'm like I've got so much going on I was trying to prep for a keynote but, My mom always really taught me, show up for your friends, show up for your community.

Kate Gladdin: So I was like, you know what, I'll go in. I'll just go for an hour and then be home.

Kate Gladdin: And mom goes, oh, you know what, I'll come into town too. I just want to go for a walk, see if I can find some lunch.

Kate Gladdin: And so we drove into town and it was so just mundane.

Kate Gladdin: You know, she called dad and said, get the meat out of the fridge for dinner tonight. Like it was just like, you know, life was so normal. We're just going about.

Kate Gladdin: I parked the car and I took my dog, Jayku, into town with me because he loved a ride.

Kate Gladdin: And I just parked in the shade and he just hangs out in the car.

Kate Gladdin: And mom goes, oh, you know what?

Kate Gladdin: I'll get back a bit earlier and I'll let Jayku out to stretch his legs and go for a pee.

Kate Gladdin: So I was like, okay, you take the car keys then. And funny...

Kate Gladdin: My last conversation with mom turns out that I was teaching her how to use a dog harness but.

Kate Gladdin: Kind of show her I was like here's how you put it on Jaku and I said all right love you I'll see you back at the car at one and I had a great meeting and I was like oh shoot it's a few minutes past one so I jumped up walked out of the house just went straight around the corner to where the car was and immediately like mom wasn't there and it was like five past one I think it was actually about nine past one, something where I'm like, mom's never late.

Kate Gladdin: And I'm like, oh no, no, she has JQ, she's taking him out of the car.

Kate Gladdin: And then JQ's head just popped up out in the window. And I'm like, oh my God, mom hasn't made it back to the car yet.

Kate Gladdin: And instantly something fell off. So I called her phone. She doesn't answer. I called again.

Kate Gladdin: She doesn't answer. I'm like, okay, she's left her phone at home.

Kate Gladdin: So I called dad. I said, hey, can you see mom's phone there? he's like oh no I can't see it I'm like she was meant to meet me back here at one and he's like oh I'm sure she just you know lost track of time I was like something doesn't feel right so I just like I remember just storming straight back up the street where I'd come from but I because I hadn't looked to my right I just turned immediately to my left when I first got out of the house because I was running late and rushing back to the

Kate Gladdin: car but this time as I turned the corner and I looked up down the street that's when I just saw the emergency vehicles the lights flashing the roads closed just chaos everywhere and my mind just screamed like this can't be happening again but unfortunately it did my mom was struck down while she was crossing the road at the crosswalk with the walk signal doing everything right when a reckless driver just came zooming around the corner and killed her on impact.

Kate Gladdin: And so, yeah, it was like, I just remember walking like, fortunately, one of the girls from the meeting walked out as I was just standing there because I was shaking. I couldn't, I froze.

Kate Gladdin: Like, I just knew like no one needed to. I was like, that's my mom.

Kate Gladdin: And she goes, how do you know? I'm like, it's my mom. I really think that's my mom. And so she held my hand and walked me up to the police.

Kate Gladdin: And, you know, I was still like, like maybe she's just hurt her hip or something, you know, you'd still.

Kate Gladdin: But he told me, fortunately, he had her handbag because my dog's locked in the car now.

Kate Gladdin: And I was worried, like, I need to get my dog out too. And so it was all just this blur, blur, blur.

Kate Gladdin: But he's like, I'm like, how is she? Like, what, you know, condition is she in? And he just said she was unresponsive.

Kate Gladdin: Like, you need to get to the hospital.

Kate Gladdin: And so just that moment to then being, I just remember being in front of the surgeon and, you know, I asked him to please wait for my dad to get there, but he just kept talking. And then he's like, we did everything we could.

Kate Gladdin: And he said the injuries were just too bad. And he touched the back of his head.

Kate Gladdin: And I was like, I can't believe it. It's the exact same spot where my sister's head was hit.

Kate Gladdin: And so, two out of my five family members have both died from road accidents while traveling.

Kate Gladdin: The chances of that. And the chance, like my mom was so safety conscious because she'd already lost her daughter overseas. And so she waited for the light.

Kate Gladdin: She trusted in, you know, she legally owned that part of the road.

Kate Gladdin: When you've got your light, that's your spot.

Kate Gladdin: And she was into the crosswalk. She wasn't walking out on it.

Kate Gladdin: Like she was in it when this driver came around the corner.

Kate Gladdin: And I think what's even made it more unbearable is just learning about this guy's criminal history from previous DUIs, stalking, registered sex offender, drunk use, violating probation, evading police.

Kate Gladdin: And even through the point, five weeks before he killed mom, he was in court for domestic battery.

Kate Gladdin: Yet again, the system let him walk.

Kate Gladdin: He was legally required to serve three months in prison, didn't do it, let him off on probation.

Kate Gladdin: And then five weeks later, he's on the road to kill my mom. And on top of that, the charge is nothing more than a misdemeanor.

Kevin Lowe: Wow. And I'm sure there's a part of you that thinks, why does my mom have to be the one to go?

Kevin Lowe: When you have this man who has all this history, why does he get to stay?

Kate Gladdin: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Kate Gladdin: Yeah. I just remember sitting in the police room the next day and the officers speaking to us.

Kate Gladdin: And when he said misdemeanor, it was like, what the hell?

Kate Gladdin: How is someone's life just worth a misdemeanor? I thought misdemeanor is like when you shoplift, not when you kill someone.

Kate Gladdin: And I still have images from that day of the blood on the road.

Kate Gladdin: The trauma of which lives with our family, this has shaken us and changed us forever.

Kate Gladdin: And it's a misdemeanor. And so, again, I know what got us through Nicole's death in such a meaningful, healing way was, you know, what can we create from this? What good can we do?

Kate Gladdin: There is no good in this. This just sucks and it's wrong and it's unjust.

Kate Gladdin: But what can we do about it for what comes next? And so that's where a few things have come.

Kate Gladdin: But the big one I'm fighting for in particular is to change the law.

Kate Gladdin: So I've already started meeting with Wyoming politicians who work in legislation, who are open to bringing this into their next meeting next year, is to change it.

Kate Gladdin: So if you're charged with vehicular homicide, which is what this guy's been charged with, but it still is just a misdemeanor.

Kate Gladdin: It sounds like it's a big deal, but unfortunately it's not.

Kate Gladdin: But to make that charge where if you're charged with vehicular homicide and you have a serious previous driving conviction, such as this guy, he has at least 10 on the roads, but most recently, the big one was the previous DUI resulting in a crash.

Kate Gladdin: So if you get charged and you have a previous driving conviction, it becomes a felony because clearly you are not safe to be on the road.

Kate Gladdin: And it should, you know, I think that the time needs to reflect the crime of what you're committing and the consequences of that. So that's what I'm working on to try and change the law in Mum's Honour. It doesn't help our case.

Kate Gladdin: But I just don't want another family sitting there hearing that their loved one's death is just a misdemeanor with someone who has such a criminal violent record.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel like for you, having the purpose to pursue, do you feel like it's part of the grieving process for you?

Kevin Lowe: Do you feel like for you, So it, obviously what you're doing is noble. It's incredible.

Kevin Lowe: It's amazing that you're able in the midst of the grief to focus on a bigger picture like you did with your sister.

Kevin Lowe: But do you feel like at the same time, do you feel like it's something that you almost encourage other people to do to have this mission bigger to focus on?

Kevin Lowe: Like do you feel like that that has been a help to you

Kate Gladdin: Absolutely I in fact that's like, really what I'm learning. I joke that this isn't my first rodeo with grief.

Kate Gladdin: Like, oh, hello, I've done this before.

Kate Gladdin: But now as I'm 12 years on, I've learned a lot along the way, and I'm stepping out and I'm like, you know what?

Kate Gladdin: Resilience isn't built from positivity. It's built from purpose.

Kate Gladdin: Because as long as you have purpose, you have strength. You have a reason why.

Kate Gladdin: You still struggle, get tired, overwhelmed, but there's an energy yuling you, like that gumption to get your feet on the ground and face the day.

Kate Gladdin: And so, you know, the thing is like, there is no, like, we don't know why things happen, right? I don't have a crystal ball.

Kate Gladdin: I'm not the universe God that can tell you why things just happen, right? At the end of the day, no one can prove either way.

Kate Gladdin: And so that means we each get to choose the meaning of which we bring to a situation and what we choose to do next.

Kate Gladdin: And so I really do encourage everyone going through a shitty time.

Kate Gladdin: Stop trying to fake a smile and force positivity onto it.

Kate Gladdin: Actually step back, see all the broken pieces and go, what can I create from this?

Kate Gladdin: Life is never going to be the same. I can't put the pieces back together the same way they were, but I can create something new and meaningful from this, whether it is even just creating art or music or a podcast show, but you get to talk about your experience or advocating for others, mentoring someone, on volunteering your time for others that are struggling like we need to tap in to the good that's within us sometimes and bring that to the situation to shape it into yeah something purposeful that gives

Kate Gladdin: you a reason to keep going like every day still I'm having a good cry I hurt I ache but I have a reason why I want to keep moving forward and beyond even changing or advocating to change the law and really talk about the injustice surrounding this because I know we're not alone.

Kate Gladdin: We have now renamed the foundation.

Kate Gladdin: The Nicole and Julie Fitzsimons Foundation.

Kate Gladdin: So it now includes my mom because she was such a driving force behind it all, particularly all the grant giving.

Kate Gladdin: We've given over $250,000 in grants and my mom was the one who made so much of that happen.

Kate Gladdin: And we wanted to carry her legacy forward with that.

Kate Gladdin: And we've also started a scholarship at the Sheridan College where we've got a legacy Fund, the Julia Fitzsimons Legacy Fund, so we can sponsor and give a scholarship to a performer or athlete each year at the college who is financially struggling.

Kate Gladdin: We can help them take that next step forward in their career.

Kevin Lowe: Wow. Wow. That's absolutely amazing.

Kevin Lowe: So, so beautiful. You talked about picking up the pieces and in building something, I feel like you've done an amazing job at that, not just from the foundations, from the charitable organizations you're talking about, but you've also, I know you have at least one book, you have a podcast, of course, speaking Talk to me a little bit about your decision to write your book, start a podcast.

Kevin Lowe: What prompted you to do that?

Kate Gladdin: Well, the podcast, it turns seven years old next month, which is crazy.

Kevin Lowe: Oh, wow.

Kate Gladdin: Yeah, I've kind of pivoted a little. So I initially started working just with youth and now I've expanded that to be adults also because, hey, I'm not getting any younger. So I thought I should better let my audience grow up with me.

Kate Gladdin: Yeah. So the podcast was, I just think it's such an amazing way to connect with people and to share stories and teach things.

Kate Gladdin: And it's just, I just think that it's an incredible platform and it's really helped me grow as a coach to learning so much and having incredible guests like you on.

Kate Gladdin: So that one was kind of easy. It was a little daunting at first, you know, figuring it all out, but I love it now. And if anyone's been thinking about doing a podcast, just do it.

Kate Gladdin: Stop overthinking it. Get a microphone, hit record.

Kate Gladdin: I mean, I think so many people are like, how do you do it? I'm like, just one thing at a time, but don't overthink it.

Kate Gladdin: And then the book. So my first three books, well, two are like books and then one's a workbook that they're for teens.

Kate Gladdin: So I had a publisher reach out and ask me to write those books.

Kate Gladdin: But with one of the editors that I worked on one of the books with who was like hearing my story throughout it she's she moved to publishers and then she reached out and she's like I just loved your story like even as an adult I learned so much from what you taught in the teen book would you be willing to share your story now but this one this is a book for adults going through and navigating through change and the unexpected and so what was quite special about that is that.

Kate Gladdin: Her email landed in my inbox on October 20, and that is the date of my sister's anniversary.

Kate Gladdin: And so it felt like Nicole nudging me and going, you're ready for this now.

Kate Gladdin: You're ready for this now. Because the idea of writing a book is quite daunting.

Kate Gladdin: And I think I kind of didn't really believe I was ready for it, but the opportunity came.

Kate Gladdin: And so last November, I did launch my book, Okay, Now What? how to be resilient when life gets tough so that's my latest book wow wow.

Kevin Lowe: You, you're absolutely amazing. For the person who would love to read your book, to listen to the podcast, to look at hiring you as a speaker, where can we send them?

Kevin Lowe: Whether it's multiple places, one place, you tell them and I'll be sure it's in the show notes for anybody to have easy access to.

Kate Gladdin: Oh, you're the best. Thanks, Kevin. so the best spots probably just jump on my website kategladden.com and that's gladden with an i so that's where you'll find my different services from speaking coaching the podcast my book i'm also super active on social media so mainly instagram it's at kategladden and linkedin you'll feel free to send me a request or a message or anything i read and respond to it all that would really love to connect with people.

Kate Gladdin: And if anyone is really going through it, send me a message on Instagram because I might be able to send you to specific episodes within the podcast because there's like over 300 on there now.

Kate Gladdin: So it can be a little overwhelming to know where to start.

Kate Gladdin: But yeah, I really hope people aren't shy if they have any questions, feedback or interest in my speaking and stuff.

Kate Gladdin: It would be more than happy to connect with you.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, amazing. Well, like I said, I will be positive that everything you just mentioned is in the show notes for anybody interested.

Kevin Lowe: And if show notes still confuse you, just go to the website, GritGraceInspiration.com, and you can find her episode right there with all the links.

Kevin Lowe: Kate, you are absolutely amazing. Your spirit, your absolute beauty.

Kevin Lowe: Is humbling, it's inspiring.

Kevin Lowe: You inspire me in so many ways. And getting to have you on the podcast today, to get to share your story with my listeners, it means the world to me.

Kevin Lowe: And I thank you in the most sincere way possible for being here and honestly, for just being such a positive light in this world.

Kate Gladdin: Oh, thank you, Kevin. I can say all of that right back at you.

Kate Gladdin: It's been a pleasure to have you come into my life and hear your story.

Kate Gladdin: I still get mind blown when I think about how you've learned how to see through like the vibrations. Isn't that right? Like that's how you see.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, yeah, the actual location. Yeah.

Kate Gladdin: I like randomly will think of that like while I'm driving. I'm like, that is just like the craziest thing.

Kate Gladdin: Like you gotta like think anything is possible.

Kate Gladdin: Like if that's possible, like I just really, yeah, I think it gives me inspiration in a lot of ways.

Kate Gladdin: Just yeah. So thank you for the opportunity to connect with you and your audience today.

Kate Gladdin: And you keep being a shining light in this world also because we definitely need it.

Kevin Lowe: Oh, thank you. so much. For you listening today, my hope as always is that you heard something today that touched your heart, that maybe left an impact, that maybe has you thinking a little bit differently about life, a little bit differently about your relationships with your family.

Kevin Lowe: If you haven't told somebody that you love them lately, let that be your goal right now, is to go out there and give your friend, your sister, your brother, your mom, your dad, Give them a call. Just let them know that you love them.

Kevin Lowe: We never know what tomorrow will bring.

Kevin Lowe: You hear that story so many times here on this podcast of when those life quake moments happen.

Kevin Lowe: We never know when they're going to be. So all we can do is be sure that we're living right now.

Kevin Lowe: Be sure that the people we're doing life with know how much they mean to us.

Kevin Lowe: And at the end of the day, that's all that any of us can do.

Kevin Lowe: So my friend, I appreciate you. I thank you for being here.

Kevin Lowe: And again, this was grit, grace, and inspiration.

Kevin Lowe: Hey, awesome, you're still here. And since you were cool enough to listen all the way to the very end of today's episode, I have a special surprise for you.

Kevin Lowe: The story you just heard, I turned it into a song.

Kevin Lowe: Now, how is this possible for a guy who can't sing nor play an instrument?

Kevin Lowe: Well, my friend, it's called Today's Modern Technology. It is amazing.

Kevin Lowe: And what I did was I took the essence of the story you just heard and turned it into a full song. And that's what you're just about to hear.

Kevin Lowe: Now, if you're curious to know how this works, and if I can make a song for you, well, head on over to https://klowemusic.com That is K-L-O-W-E music.com to have your own song created.

Kevin Lowe: But until then, I hope you enjoy this song.