Discover Your Life's Purpose. And Make Money with It!

People don't trust me.

People don't seek me out for guidance.

You know, people don't listen to me.

And it's because I'm kind of a jerk.

So, so so then it's like, okay, so what I want to do is I want to say, I don't want to be like that.

I want to change.

I want to start focusing all my energy outward because I truly believe that I can create hope in people if I help others be better.

SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'm Kevin Lowe, the host of The Lowdown with Kevin Lowe.

Here on the podcast, my aim is to show you the world through blind eyes.

And my hope is that you leave feeling inspired, motivated, and excited to take on the deck.

Hey, what's happening?

Welcome back to the Lowdown with Kevin Lowe, your weekly source for a little inspiration, positivity, and maybe even a little motivation.

Today, it's episode number 42, and I'm joined by guest Dave Chapter.

Now, today we're gonna get a little bit serious on you, because we're wanted to talk about what your life's purpose is, and we're gonna take it a step further.

It's identifying what your life's purpose is, and then how to monetize it.

Doesn't that sound appealing?

Figuring out what we really are supposed to be doing with our life, and then realizing, you know what, maybe there's a way that we can make some money out, and I guess in a bigger picture, more meaningful way, is how can we then use our life's purpose to benefit somebody else?

That's what I'm talking to Dave Chef about today.

There's a quote from Mark Twain I want you to keep in the back of your mind as you listen to my conversation with Dave Jeff.

And that is the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

SPEAKER_04: Yes, finding that life purpose, finding that reason that you're here.

I work with a lot of people who have accomplished their goals and they're very successful.

You know, they're they make a six-figure income, they they have the wife, the family, the the kids, but they feel very unfulfilled.

And a lot of time it's because they're they're going through the motions, doing what's expected of them, but they're not doing what they're passionate about.

They're not doing what they're meant to do, what they enjoy doing.

And that a lot of time lines up with your life purpose.

And the way that I identify that is just I help people find authenticity in their life.

Because I've met a lot of people, a lot of clients that I've worked with over the years, that when they start telling me how great their life is, it's very compartmentalized.

It's very fake.

They worry a lot about what other people think of them.

They worry about what society says about them, they worry about what society says about their family, their kids.

And they're just literally not being authentic.

They're not doing something that they love.

You know, I've had people who work 20 years in an industry that they can't stand.

They they literally dread going to work every morning.

And if if you dread going to work, then you are not living your life's purpose.

SPEAKER_01: I think, and I think that is such a common problem here, at least I don't know about worldwide, but especially, I mean, here in America, I think that is such an issue because I think so many people you hear about who they hate their job.

SPEAKER_04: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

And a lot of times because they just, again, they're they're not being authentic.

They're they're not speaking their mind, they're not speaking their truth.

They're they're sitting on this rusty nail in their chair that hurts, but it doesn't hurt enough to get up.

You know, so what it is is they have limitations that have been put on them by people.

Sometimes it can be limitations put on by a teacher, a parent, a first girlfriend, a first boyfriend.

All these different things that people feel limited and they have these shackles because they just don't respect themselves.

They don't feel worthy.

They feel like there's definite limitations in place and limited beliefs.

They create these negative thought forms that they believe that they have no power in the world and they can't make a difference.

So why try?

You know, if I never have hope, if I never get excited about something, then I'm never going to be disappointed.

And that is some of the worst behaviors and toxicity that you can have in your life.

I mean, there's so many different things that people can do in order to have hope.

And when I work with people, when I teach them what authenticity really is, when I teach them how to decompartmentalize their life, then I want to work with them so that they can find their true purpose, so they can find their power, so they can live a life with integrity and then leave a legacy by actually making changes in their community, make leaving a legacy that their children will be proud of.

SPEAKER_01: Why do you think this is?

Why do you think that there is such this issue of this happening?

SPEAKER_04: I think the biggest thing is just people give away their power.

It's something that, you know, society has these certain expectations.

You know, you need to go to school, you need to get your high school diploma, you need to go to college, you need to join a fraternity, you need to buy a house, you need to get married, you need to have 2.5 kids, you need to work in a job and retire from that job and have a 401k.

And if you don't do that, something's wrong with you.

SPEAKER_01: Yep.

SPEAKER_04: And that that right there is just it's people who have made these decisions about how your life should be, who are not even living any longer.

You know, so so you're coming into this world and you're starting out your life, and people who are dead are dictating whether or not you get to be happy.

So I just I call bullshit on that.

And it's like, no, you deserve all of the unlimited happiness, all the unlimited abundance in the world.

But it's up to you to not listen to other people's beliefs or thoughts or choices or judgments, not worry about the expectations of others and get rid of that self-doubt and try to identify the toxic behaviors that are both within you and within others.

You know, and a lot of people who deal with this, they've had people who manipulate them, they have people who lie to them.

They are selfish or uh selfish parents who, you know, I didn't do well in my life, so I'm going to mold my child in the person that I should have been.

And that is that's absolutely horrible when you have a parent that tries to live through you.

You know, and then you've got this sense of entitlement that goes around a lot nowadays.

And you've got men who cheat, you've got, you know, arrogance, overly competitive, holding a grudge, stubbornness.

All of these things are just toxic behaviors within yourself.

You know, the overuse of technology, worrying about the future, never letting go of the past.

These are all things that I work with with people so that I can, you know, just figure out what are the first steps that you can make so that we can discover hope.

Because if you don't have hope for the future, then you are not going to be able to identify what's toxic.

You're not going to be able to remove these limiting beliefs, and you're not going to be able to realize what your true life's purpose is.

SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And it is, and I guess, and I just equate this going back to being in school and everything.

It is we grew up, especially me in school, is basically it was kind of of this mindset that if you did not go into high school, your honors classes set you up to go in and get into a big university to go get your four-year degree, then what are you going to do?

And and it becomes this point where, and I've seen it with so many, even of my friends and stuff, where they end up going through the motions of what they think they should be doing because it's what we've been taught all growing up, versus what are they actually interested in and want to do.

SPEAKER_04: Exactly.

You know, the they'll go in at 18, 19 years old, they pick a major that for the rest of their life is going to impact them.

And they don't know what.

They'll switch it two or three times.

And then they end up getting a marketing degree.

They have no interest in marketing, nothing at all.

Yeah, you know, or they're being told by parents, hey, you need to go into something that's going to make some money, so let's become a doctor or lawyer.

And then you do all this studying and you're you get all of this debt, and then you realize that you're unhappy.

I know several people who have been to law school who hate it, absolutely hate it.

They never went for the bar because they hate it so much.

Yet, because of the pressure that they had from families and friends, that they had to do it.

They felt like it was their obligation.

And what they're doing is they're letting other people have power over them.

So when I work with people, the first thing we do is figure out authenticity.

You know, I want you to be able to say, hey, no, this is not who I am.

This is not what I want.

You know, I have passion working with animals.

Okay, so does that mean I'm I want to be a vet?

Does it mean I want to be a dog walker?

There's no shame in either.

And that's what I tell people.

It's like you can live a life and monetize anything.

You can be an entrepreneur for anything that you want to do as long as you're happy.

And that's the biggest thing.

Does it bring you joy?

Because then when you're in joy and when you're in alignment with yourself, you start making these incredible decisions.

You start attracting people to you who are like-minded.

Then you can have an incredible mate, you can have incredible children, you can raise an incredible family, and you can leave a legacy that is about what you're passionate about and make changes to your community that are for the better because you're living an authentic life where you are not afraid of what people say about you.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think that's so amazing.

And I think that's so kind of uh lifts like the weight off your shoulder to think that you don't have to have a certain goal in mind, a certain passion that that is that quote unquote, you know, mindset that's going to a career that's going to get you the you know big dollar amounts that your parents and teachers have told you about.

But the fact that first identify what that passion is and then figure out how can I monetize that.

SPEAKER_04: Exactly.

You know, and and that's one of the biggest things, you know, nowadays they're called side hustles and and just different things like that.

And when COVID hit, a lot of people are like, you know, when they lost their jobs, they're like, okay, well, what can I do?

What can I do to make some money?

And a lot of people have learned that they can monetize a lot of different things and they can live with hope and they can build strength and courage because they're not listening to their inner voice or not listening to their, you know, other people saying, hey, you know, I'm not good enough, you're not good enough, you can't do this.

You know, the pandemic kind of brought around things like, okay, so I need to provide for my family, so I'm gonna think outside the box and I'm gonna start doing some things.

And then they're finding strength.

Some of the, I think Gwyneth Peltra once said on one of her interviews, I think on the Graham Norton show, where she was like, if you live a life without obstacles, you're just gonna be an asshole.

Because the obstacles to overcome so that you feel that you have accomplished something, so that you don't feel entitled, so that you don't just walk to the front of the line, so that you don't have everybody at your beck and call.

That's no kind of life to live.

You want a life to live where you can stand tall, stand true, realize your power, set things in motion, speak your truth, live with integrity, and live by your own rules to where you're helping others.

That's why we're here.

That should be everyone's life's purpose.

When you find your life's purpose, it generally is in something with connection and you're helping someone.

SPEAKER_01: Yep.

SPEAKER_04: Because when you find your true life's purpose, you find the courage, willpower, determination, and the truth to help others.

And that's what it means to be on this planet.

SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.

That's what I mean.

I've said that with with my own life experience of becoming blind at 17, is it took me a long time.

It took me a long time in the whole healing process of that.

But when I came to the point when I could say it and know it both in my head and in my heart, was that if I could help someone else by sharing with them what I have been through, then it makes all of it worth it.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, exactly.

You know, and that's the thing, is like that's some of your best life coaches out there are the ones who have been like drugged through the mud and they've overcome all of these things.

I mean, that's how my life has been.

You know, I and I've made some stupid decisions in my life, some stupid choices.

And it's like, holy cow, how did I even survive that?

You know, and how is it that I can still laugh about it?

But the thing is, though, is I made all these horrible decisions and I made all these bad choices.

I've been hurt, I let people use me, I've used people, I've lied to people, I've done all of these things in my life that we do in our 20s and 30s.

But then when I got into my 40s and 50s, I was like, oh shit, I gotta fix all this stuff, you know?

And it's like, oh my God, you know, what did I do?

And you're you're like blazing through in your your teens, 20s, and 30s.

And it's like, okay, let's kind of let's kind of write the ship now.

And I have to say, for me, social media was a good aspect.

I was able to find people that I lost contact with through social media.

And I was like, hey, you know, when I was 22, you reached out a hand to me and I freaking bit it because I did not understand that you were trying to be kind to me.

And I thought that everybody just was evil and I needed to use people in order to survive.

And I'm sorry.

And I have gotten some of the best replies in the world because of doing that.

And and on the inside for myself, I learned that by being vulnerable and saying, hey, you know, I fucked up, that I can, I'm a good person, you know, because of that.

Because I did try to write the ship, and I realized and I learned lessons.

Because if I if you do all this stuff, if you if all of these things happen to you and you don't learn a lesson from them, they continue to happen.

You continue to make these poor choices, you continue to not pay your bills, you continue to just put people off, you continue to burn through relationships, you continue to use people.

But if you start learning a lesson of like, well, hey, that's it doesn't make me feel good.

It doesn't bring me joy to do that.

I don't have a good support system.

People don't trust me, people don't seek me out for guidance, you know, people don't listen to me.

Uh, and it's because I'm kind of a jerk.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: So, so, so then it's like, okay, so what I want to do is I want to say, I don't want to be like that.

I want to change.

And then I want to focus, I want to start focusing all my energy outward because I truly believe that I can create hope in people if I help others be better.

You know, so for me as a life coach, that's what I try to do.

I focus on helping others rise into their power, rise into their life's purpose, rise into their dreams based on truth and integrity so that they can leave a legacy.

And for every person that I help who leaves a legacy, then I was a small part of that.

And then I'm leaving legacies all over this world through people.

For me, that's my life purpose.

That's what I enjoy doing.

I build leaders, I build creators, I build incredible people because they teach people that they need to look within and that they're worthy and that there's so much forgiveness that they need to do from within.

And we work through that.

We work with the shadow, all the darkness within someone.

I always tell people that the shadow side of you, that's your power.

The side that you're trying to hide, the side that you're ashamed of.

I don't want you to be ashamed of it.

I want you to bring it right on the front porch and show it to the world because that's your power.

That's who you are.

If people don't love you for every bit of who you are, then they don't, they shouldn't be in your life.

SPEAKER_01: Yep.

It is, it's so true.

And and there's something you were saying is is I think it it it speaks so much truth, is that as I've heard something, and I I, of course, I'm not even gonna attempt to quote it exactly because I'll screw it up, but it's something, you know, is it it's not so much what you do on this life while you're here that matters, it's it's the legacy you leave behind.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: You know.

SPEAKER_04: Exactly.

What are you remembered for?

What it how did you impact your community?

How did you impact your family?

How did you impact your son, your daughter?

How did you impact your parents?

How do you impact your friends?

You know, how how do you impact the world?

Yep.

And the and these are things that people they they should think about.

SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, absolutely.

Now, there was something you mentioned earlier, and I don't I don't want to get too far ahead without bringing attention to it, is in talking about in in terms of a career or you know, something that you're doing, you're you're monetizing that passion, something that you said, and I thought to myself, you know, that would probably be something really good for somebody listening, and they're wondering, but what is that?

And when you mentioned side hustle, because a side hustle is something that most people they choose to do because it's something they enjoy, they're good at.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, exactly.

You know, and and it's funny too, because people, when they when people think about side hustles, they always go through a process.

And usually, you know, 50% of people start with some kind of multi-level marketing because they're sitting there and they're like, okay, I want to do something better.

I want to bring in some extra income, but I don't know what to do.

And then you follow these ads or or you start searching, you know, I'm looking for extra income, and then all of a sudden, multi-level marketing pops up on your screen all over, all over because you mentioned the word.

And then you get roped into these multi-level marketings, and then you go through this painful lesson of, well, this person's successful, so I'm going to be just like them.

And then two years down the line, you're like, well, that was a waste of my time and energy.

Um, and it's true.

And it's so sad because you you burn through a lot of relationships when you're a multi-level marketer as well, because you're, you know, you it's just, it's so bad.

But what it is, is if you feel the urge to make extra money or the need to make extra money, then figure out what you love.

You know, it's very simple.

I did life coaching on my own for years.

You know, I went to school.

I worked a full-time job and I went to school.

When I got done to school, I started my own practice.

I had no clients at all.

I was just doing free stuff in the beginning.

And then it was, it turned into I got when I got my first client, I was like, oh my God.

And then I started out by renting an office.

And it was just one day a week where I rented an office because I didn't have a lot of money back then.

So it turned into a situation that I would work my 40 to 50 hours a week, and then I'd work another 20 or 30 at night and the weekends.

And that I it never felt like work because it was my passion.

Like I would be up until 11:30 at night doing stuff for my website, doing stuff for my coaching, working with clients, work, you know, doing things.

And it never ever felt like work.

And I never felt like I was working two jobs.

It felt like I had my job that paid my bills, and then I then I had my job that that fed my soul.

SPEAKER_01: Yep.

Yeah, it's true.

And I mean, and I can even I can even take it on a very personal note, is last year, it was basically a year ago, May of last year, when I decided to start this podcast as a uh kind of side hustle in conjunction with my travel agency.

And it didn't take long before people started saying, you know, Kevin, you know, you're really good at that.

And and I'm like, well, you know, I'm like, I really love it.

And so then it kind of was like, well, you know, Kev, maybe you should really focus some attention on that, you know?

So because I'm like, as I told somebody the other day when when I was emailing them on a Saturday afternoon about, you know, a podcast interview.

And and I said, I'm like, now I'm like, I know it's a Saturday.

I don't expect you to be answering, you know.

I said, but maybe right now, I said, I just love the fact that I'm reaching out to you, somebody with this awesome story, lives on another side of the country, instead of being on hold for three hours with a supplier trying to cancel a vacation with my traveling to say.

I'm like, this is awesome.

SPEAKER_04: That's funny.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so now I want to ask you.

So I hesitate to even ask you because I know I'm gonna butcher it as to pronouncing it.

But I want you to tell me about Reiki.

SPEAKER_04: Reiki, no, you you said you said it right.

SPEAKER_01: I did.

SPEAKER_04: Yes.

Okay, so it's is it it's Reiki?

Reiki, yeah.

R-E-I-K.

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01: Well, I am shocked.

SPEAKER_04: You did.

You said you said it right.

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

So so what is that?

SPEAKER_04: So Reiki is it's a Japanese technique.

That's been taught for a long time now.

And it's basically a form of energy healing that promotes stress reduction and relaxation by laying on hands.

So it's an amazing technique that when you have someone like we use like massage tables.

And so someone will get on a massage table.

And me personally, I use crystals as well.

So I use crystals to help heal.

So I'll put someone on my table and I do Reiki on them, or I will send them distance Reiki energy.

And it's basically just universal life force.

Some call it love.

You know, people have different words for it.

But the best analogy I can give you is something that I use is, and I don't know the name of the doctor, but there's a documentary, and there's a Japanese scientist who does, he did a documentary in a web series on water molecules.

And when you take water molecules and you hold it in a bottle and you focus anger and rage into the water, he then puts it under a microscope.

And you see that the water molecules are shattered and distorted and they don't, you know, you can just see that they're not moving.

Then he takes another bottle of water and he holds it and he is grateful for it.

He puts in hope, he thanks it for nourishing his body.

He he shares love with this water.

He puts that water under the microscope, and you see these beautiful water molecules that look like snowflakes.

And they're really incredible.

It's a fascinating documentary.

But if you think about the human body having so much water in it, that's kind of how we react.

Like the water molecules in our body, from day to day, with the rage that we do from our inner voice, from the rage that we feel from work, from the rage that we feel just from driving home in a rush hour, that impacts the water in our body.

But throughout through a Reiki session, when you're working with a Reiki healer and the Reiki healer is just putting in love and enhancing gratitude energy and all of this life force energy into your body, it helps repair the water molecules in your body and it helps repair your energy fields in your body.

And it just changes uh different things of how you're feeling.

They have uh something called aura cameras, where a special camera has a special type of film that will take pictures of your aura.

And I've I've taken pictures of my clients before I started Reiki, and then I've taken pictures afterwards, and the aura is completely different and completely brighter, and where there was dead areas of energy, there was now energy just after an hour session.

That's fascinating.

Yeah, it it's very interesting.

It's becoming a lot more mainstream.

It's been around, like I said, for a long, long time.

But you know, currently hospitals are starting to have Reiki practitioners on staff so that they can go in and kind of help with as part of the healing process.

And it's just one of those things where you do things physically to heal, you do things emotionally to heal, and you do things spiritually to heal.

And as an intuitive life coach, which is what I am, I work with the mental, the physical, and the spiritual.

So when you do work with me, you you get exposed to all different things that you know might push you outside your comfort zone.

But it turns into a good way to combine that mental, physical, and spiritual.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's wild.

And and and I was sitting there, and and and I don't know if if I'm thinking of it in the wrong sense, but when you were talking about the whole thing with the water molecules, and I couldn't help but thinking to myself of say as ourself, as me being that that that cup of water, those water molecules.

And you know, sometimes you get around people and just their energy is negative, yes, or their energy is super positive, and and literally like they don't have to say anything amazing, they don't have to yell at you, but either you come away, you leave, and you're like, oh my gosh, I just feel yucky, or you just walk away and you're smiling because of and it it's like it's it's truly like this force, this external force of their energy impacting you.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it it really is.

I mean, when you walk into a room, you can kind of sense the energy that's in that room.

And, you know, or people come in, all of a sudden the energy shifts, some positive or negatively.

So, so definitely feeling that energy is something that is is very strong with people.

But there are many, many, many forms of energy healing that that help people and help with energy like that.

But I always tell people that you're responsible for the energy that you bring into the room.

SPEAKER_01: Yep.

SPEAKER_04: You know, and and you can either leave some or you or you take it.

So it just depends on what kind of what kind of mood you're in, what kind of person you are.

If you have no hope, if you constantly have that inner voice that is always sabotaging you, all you know, just your life is full of self-sabotage because you won't try new things, you won't push yourself outside your comfort zone.

You know, you just feel like you're holding on to the loss, you're resisting new experiences, you don't speak your truth, you ignore self-care, you overuse technology, you worry about the future.

These are all things that they inhibit you.

So then if you're stuck with this negative voice inside your head, you know, 24 hours a day and it's just saying I'm not good enough, I can't do this, I can't do that, these are all just toxic traits, toxic behaviors that you have.

And you need to stop them because it's just bringing you into that negative force.

And other people feel that from you.

Other people won't trust you, they won't buy from you, they they won't listen to, you know, if you're trying to build a relationship with them, if you're trying to start your side hustle, if you don't believe in yourself, then nobody's gonna believe in you either.

So it all starts with just believing in yourself, believing that you are worthy.

And that's the first step of my signature program is literally just like trying to figure out who you are, what your values are, and overcoming this lack of worthiness.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

Now, does that tie in with the whole thing of I see that like you help people reclaim their personal power?

SPEAKER_04: Yes, big time.

So and I used to work hourly with people, and you know, we would do four to six sessions and we move on to one thing.

And and then I did a a while uh several years where I was a business coach where I worked with people with their business.

Something I transitioned to over the last couple of years, though, is I I mainly work with the person now.

Because if I can work with the person, then they can take care of their business, they can take care of their marriage, they can, they can do all of these things.

So when I work with someone, it it is all ultimately about taking back their power.

You know, I teach someone to forgive themselves, I teach someone to lead themselves, I teach someone to build new thought patterns, new thought forms.

I teach them to lead, I teach them to attract followers and not followers on Instagram.

I'm talking about followers in life, yeah, you know, people who support you, people who trust you, people who seek your guidance.

And then at the end of my one-year program, I teach people, okay, so now that that we've we've got this, what what is it that you can do to change the culture in your community and set the tone for your relationships?

What are you going to do to impact the world and leave a legacy?

Because at this point, at the end of working with me for a year, you have become someone's hope.

SPEAKER_01: And let me ask you this.

How obviously it's way too complex for me just to ask a simple question.

You tell me, how in the world do you do this?

Because this is oh my gosh.

We could because I'm sure I'm not the only one who's just like you the stuff that you're talking about is almost like we we we all know people, or we are that person.

And and the thoughts that that we could go to somebody for help with this seems kind of crazy.

And so I'm just interested, like, I don't know.

Is there a way that you can kind of generalize how you go about it?

SPEAKER_04: Well, what I do is I do one-on-one weekly conversations, first of all.

I generally do them over Zoom or in person.

And during that hour, it's pretty powerful.

I have a I have a way of digging deep and pulling stuff out of people that allows for some shifting to happen on the soul level.

Because we literally, I'm very blunt, I'm very frank.

I we talk about what's important to you, we talk about passion, we talk about what the bad choices you're making, we talk about the good choices you're making, we figure out what's good in your life, we figure out what brings you joy, what makes you happy.

Learning your values, learning what integrity is.

So, so the first generally, you know, I have I have my program broken up into five parts.

And the first part is basically teaching hey, you you are worthy.

You have, we need to learn to love yourself.

That's that's the first step.

But when you constantly live in self-doubt, when you constantly say these toxic things to yourself, you can you can never find who you really are and what you can do.

The other thing is all of the horrible crap that's happened to you in your life, we need to realize that it was lessons that you needed to learn, and each one taught you something.

So you need to value that.

It's not a curse, it's it's a gift in a lot of ways.

I've had some very hard things happen to me in my life.

I've had other clients the same thing.

And when we learn that they're gifts because of what we learned from them, then it gives us that wisdom.

And the wisdom is where we discover that hope.

And then I help them become stronger mentally, physically, and spiritually.

And that's the first part.

The second part of my program is where we really go into claiming your power.

Now that you love yourself, now that you have started to respect yourself, you start to set boundaries.

And a lot of people don't even know what a boundary is.

And I teach them what boundaries are, what it means to conquer your own thoughts, what it means to have an inner voice that when you look in the mirror, you see your best friend.

Because what that does is it lets you start building this wonderful life that you want to build.

And then when we get to the third part of my program, it's all about self-leadership.

You know, I want to teach you how to lead yourself and then how to go into the greatness that you are.

I, you know, how to take initiative, how to stop with procrastination, how to live your values, how to remain true, how to know hope, and how to rise into your power.

You know, my program is uh I'm a big King Arthur nut.

You know, I've always loved the whole stories of Merlin and King Arthur and all these kind of things.

And I tell people, you know, I'm your Merlin.

I'm I'm gonna come into your life and we are going to teach you how to live a life of integrity by your own rules, so that you can have the courage and willpower and determination to be the man that you want to be, so that you can attract the right kind of followers, so that you can build a kingdom that is yours, so that you can build your Camelot.

And it is a process, but I have had great success at it.

SPEAKER_01: Wow.

And I'm sitting here thinking, and who wouldn't want some of that?

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and and a real uh there's a lot of there's a lot of people who they really can't believe in themselves until someone believes in them first.

That's so powerful.

You know, and and that's a lot of what I do is you know, I'll sit back and I'll I meet people and I just start telling them things about themselves that that that I can I can sense.

And and we're we're talking and they're opening up.

And they're so hard on people are so hard on themselves.

People are just so mean to themselves.

And that's what I started to ask you.

SPEAKER_01: What again, why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh.

It's a lot of outside influences, it's a lot of TV.

I mean, I've always had weight issues, and it was always like, well, because I'm fat, I suck.

You know, I can't love myself, I'm just a fat piece of shit.

You know, I'd look in the mirror and I would say this stuff to myself on a daily basis.

And and then it's like, no, fuck that.

Okay.

I I just know.

And then and then I went through my own thing and I went through my weight loss and I went through my health and fitness, and I've I've lost a lot of weight and I've still got a lot to go.

But is it's just one of those things to where it is something that is for me, and I don't give a shit what anybody thinks.

If someone says, well, he's not a good life coach because he's fat, well, fuck you.

You know, find another life coach then.

But I can tell you, I'm a good life coach because I am fat and I and I have seen these things and I know how to overcome it, and I'm working to better myself because of it.

That's what makes me incredible at what I do.

SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.

Do you feel like this type of trait characteristic is something that is something that we are only we develop because of society, or do you feel as though some people are just naturally born with more of a mindset like that?

SPEAKER_04: I I I think it can be a combination of both.

You know, I definitely think society plays a huge role in it.

Other people's expectations, other people's judgments.

You know, but but I I think at times too that sometimes people are just born a certain way and they need to figure out what they can do in order to overcome this.

You know, so so it just depends.

I I'm not I'm not schooled enough or learned enough to make that diagnosis in a lot of ways.

But what I can say is that when the people that I've helped, it has been a situation where we dope into both aspects.

What is it external versus what is it internal?

And some people, it's just a deficiency of a certain vitamin, you know, because I work with people and they get, you know, look at their lab test to get a full checkup, a full the full thing.

And you know, I had a friend who was sick all the time, and or not a friend, a client, who was sick all the time, and he did a full panel of blood and he realized that his vitamin D was dangerously low.

And then as soon as he started on some vitamin D supplementation and some different things with his with his lifestyle to change that, he started not being so depressed.

He started being happier, he started feeling better about himself, more confident, uh, not sick all the time.

So it so it kind of just depends, but it's one of those things to where when I work with somebody, we do do mind, body, spirit.

So we we talk with, we go into every detail.

You know, I offer master classes, I offer audio trainings, webinars, meditations, all kinds of different things that I add to my program when I work with somebody.

And I push people outside their comfort zone.

You know, we we look at different things.

You know, I work with a lot of men, so sometimes we have to look at testosterone levels, you know, you know, and and we don't, and this is all done through doctors, you know.

So we just we figure out what it is that we need to supplement with, whether it's eastern medicine, western medicine, whether it's spiritual medicine, whatever, but we figure out holistically how to approach this, you know, because I'm I'm not somebody that's gonna say, well, we have to do it this way.

No, we're gonna do it in a way that you feel comfortable with, in a way that you believe in, but we're at least gonna look at it and I'm gonna give you as as many of the facts as I can so that you can make the best choices.

I don't tell you who you are, I show you who you are.

SPEAKER_01: I love it.

I love it.

And and I and I can't help but think back to this.

It was in it was in one of these Facebook support groups that I belong to that is support groups for people who are blind or visually impaired.

And it's so it's people literally all over the world who are just like me.

Many of them didn't go blind till later in life, like me as teenagers and stuff.

And the other day, there was a guy in the group, and he was he was born completely blind, so he's never seen.

And he posted something in there the other day, and it really just made me stop and think.

And he asked, What does it mean?

He said, People always say, Oh, that person's ugly, or that person's pretty.

He's like, he's like, I don't even understand what that means.

He's like, How can you tell by by without even talking to someone that that person is ugly or pretty?

And I thought, what a beautiful way, if you think about it, to think of life and to think of each other's and think of ourselves of not know you know what I mean?

Like, like we we think of we think of like when we first hear that of somebody who's never seen before, and and you think of it as oh, that's so sad.

But then when he said that, I thought, yeah, what a beautiful thing, also.

SPEAKER_04: It really is.

It's it's a way of looking at life.

And and I and I that's something that I try to teach along those lines, is you're not just looking for the the instant gratification or the physical beauty, you know.

If you're looking on a dating website, if you want to approach a girl in a bar and you're thinking, well, you know, I want her because she's the hottest, that's not the right way to think.

You know, I I mean, I I think we're wired biologically that you know, and and even through our makeup throughout the centuries has been like we we dislike things that kind of look unhealthy towards us.

So if we see something that looks unhealthy, then we have an aversion to it.

But that doesn't mean that just because someone might be unhealthy, that there's something wrong with them.

Or that if they have an injury or for any reason or something that is not 100% perfect, they still need to be open-minded and sense out and feel a person's energy and say, hey, you know, I'm standing next to this person, they they kind of feel like they have a lot of joy, they laugh a lot.

So maybe it's worth getting to know them, maybe it's worth introducing myself.

SPEAKER_01: Yep.

I'm curious because I'm I'm honestly I'm really amazed talking to you.

Well, thank you.

Not only, not well, not only because like you're crazy intelligent in everything that you're talking about, and and and you're leaving me just thinking how amazing this is.

But I'm also wondering, kind of like the deep down, what is it, why do you have such this strong passion to help others in this way?

SPEAKER_04: You know, it's it's funny because I used to, I used to have that mentality that I hated myself.

Like I said, I would look in the mirror and just say all these horrible things to myself.

And at first it started out to where if I was good to people, if I did things for people, if I bent over backwards for people, they would like me.

And it started with that of feeling that, well, the only way that I'm gonna have any kind of validation is if someone says, Hey Dave, you're a great guy.

Or hey, Dave, thank you so much.

And that used to fuel me.

And that was such an unhealthy and toxic behavior of myself, because I would just do anything for anybody.

If anybody said, Hey, will you have a move this weekend?

Or will you, will you go get this?

Will you go wash my car?

I always said yes because I was a total yes man.

And I never understood that people will like me if I had boundaries.

And I didn't understand that because myself didn't have any.

So then when I when I truly started to love myself, when I truly realized who I am, when I came into my power, I started having boundaries and I started saying no.

You know, that's my big thing right now is you know, no, thank you.

That's my big thing.

And if people wanted the answer right away, I'm like, well, if you want an answer right away, the answer would be no.

But if you let me think about it, I'll think about it.

And that's always my favorite.

They're like, okay, I'll just think what I did.

So it started out like that.

Then it felt like more of a calling because I get intense satisfaction when someone is uh improves their life because of something that I said.

You know, I've been doing my podcast now.

My podcast is called Coaching for Leaders, and I'm on in my like episode 35, I think, right now.

And I've been doing it since COVID hit.

And it's just a way for me to get free material out to people so that they can listen to things.

And I teach all the stuff that we're talking about today.

I teach all these different things to people and I talk about it.

And I'm very blunt, I'm very direct, I'm kind of an asshole.

I admit that.

I am not easy to work with because I call it like it is.

I'm I'm not afraid to say what's on my mind.

I never filter anything.

But the things that I say, I say it with compassion.

And I say it, I'm not saying it to hurt you, but you know, I got a call last night and it was like asking me these questions.

And I'm like, what is the point of this phone call?

Why why are you calling me about this girl?

And I don't get it.

That this is such a simple thing that you already knew the answer for.

But this is something that you're just afraid to make a decision or or afraid to confront?

What's going on there?

What's the deeper issue?

And then I keep going, so what's the deeper issue?

And then he's like, Well, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I'm like, well, you called me, you called me, buddy, so you're not getting on the front until we resolve this, you know.

But I do, I push people outside their comfort zone.

But that's good because when you're outside your comfort zone, you grow.

So to answer your question, I love making a difference in people's lives.

And I feel like that's my life purpose.

And that's why I do it.

I offer so much out to people and I help people, but I stay within my boundaries.

I stay true to myself.

I do self-care.

I love myself.

I love my family.

I've been with my husband for 32 years.

You know, we have a great relationship and we build each other up.

And he's the most supportive person because he let me take my side hustle, which was my life coaching.

And several years ago, I just called him one day because I was walking down the hallway, going to the bathroom at my day job.

And I was just thinking, oh my God, I have 40 more phone calls to make because I was in sales and I was very good at.

Sales, but I hated it.

And I was like, Can I quit my job and just do coaching?

And he's like, he's like, Well, you kind of make a lot of money doing that.

And I said, I know.

And he says, Well, what are you willing to give up?

I said, I'm willing to give up anything at this point because I just want to, I just want to coach.

And he's like, Okay, do it.

I gave my notice and I've been on my own since then.

And the first year was tough.

I and then the second year I started making money.

Then the third year, COVID destroyed me.

And when COVID hit, I was like, uh-oh, because I was face-to-face with everything that I did.

And I was like, oh no.

So then I had to learn online really quick.

And I thought of the solution.

I learned Zoom.

I learned podcasting.

I learned all these different things.

And I'm just as effective over Zoom as I am in person.

So it it's great.

So I never saw COVID as something that destroyed me.

It was, it was just another challenge.

It was just an obstacle that, okay, so now, because of COVID, I'm able to help more people and I'm able to get my message out to, you know, around the world.

I'm in over 25 countries on my podcast.

So I love that.

I absolutely love that people in other countries are listening to it.

I would not have had that had the pandemic not hit.

You know, and for all the horror that the pandemic has brought upon the world, it's also done some good things for some people's personal development, some people's beliefs and some people's adaptability and things like that.

So I just and that's what I do.

I when COVID first hit, I was that's what I was saying.

It's like, hey, if you've lost your business, let me help you.

Let me figure out a way that you can still make money.

And I I was doing it for free.

I was just like, hey, reach out to me.

What are you doing?

Let me help you figure out how to monetize this so that you can continue making money, so that you can continue to pay your employees, so you can continue to pay your bills.

And I had good success with that because I was able to teach that.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: But that's what I wanted to do.

SPEAKER_01: That's that's so awesome.

So awesome.

Wow.

So I gotta ask you about this thing called the Soul Cube.

The Soul Cube.

Tell me about what what is the Soul Cube?

SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh.

So the Soul Cube is my book that I'm currently writing.

I am in the editing process right now.

So it is written, but then it's written, and then it goes before the people who are editing it for me, and they're like, they send it back with a lot of red.

So I I changed the release date like a month ago to fall 2021 because I'm like, you people are killing me.

But but basically what the what the Soul Cube is and what what I've figured out through my my learning and and everything that I've been working with with people is that each of us within us has God spark, a divine spark within us that is divinity, that is the source of all creation.

We each have a piece of that.

And if if all of us were just to sit back and realize that within us is a piece of divinity, a piece of source energy, then why aren't we worthy?

Why aren't we worthy of all the greatness in the world?

There's so much abundance in the world.

This feeling of because they have it, I don't, so they suck, is so wrong.

Because what it is is there's so much abundance for everybody.

There is so much that we deserve that we can do, but when we have these limited beliefs, because we don't believe that, that's where a lot of the trouble comes into our life.

So when I talk about the soul cube, the picture of it on my book is kind of like it looks like a Tesseract, which is basically like a 3D cube, and in the middle of the cube is this spark of energy, and that's that's the soul cube, that's the the spark.

And when your soul cube is in balance, your life is in balance.

So I I did the cube when I when I created it, and and the drawings I have of it are each side represents something, and the the opposite of it is the exact opposite.

So I have uh divine masculinity and divine femininity are the front and the back.

And then the sides uh are your light and your shadow, you know, so the the goodness within you and then the darkness within you.

And then the top and bottom, the top is your spirit, your spiritual, and the bottom is your physical.

So when you're holding when you're holding out your hand and you have your soul cube in your hand and you're you're visualizing this and you're seeing this in your mind's eye, if you are out of balance, if you're living too much in the dark, then your soul cube is not gonna be balanced.

When you are too masculine, that toxic masculinity that that a lot of a lot of the meat kids in the fitness industry have that I work with.

Yeah, because I work a lot with bodybuilders, I work a lot with in the fitness industry.

And there's just times where there's just so much of the divine masculine, so then I have to bring in the divine feminine there, bring in some compassion, bring in some emotion and teach them what emotion is.

So when we balance out the feminine and the masculine, we when we balance out the light and the dark, and when we balance out the physical and the spiritual, then we find that our lives are pretty incredible.

And we're living something that is more fantastic.

And when we have imbalances, that turns into aggression, that turns into passitivity, that turns into self-love versus self-hate, you know, all these different things.

So my my book is about this, and my book is about creating leaders, building your kingdoms, all of these different things of what you can do and accomplish with a balanced soul cube.

SPEAKER_01: Man, you take like the deepest stuff and make it seem so simple.

Like, and I'm sitting there thinking to myself, I thought, man, we just took like the most complex thing and put it into something called a soul cube, where now we can all picture it in our mind.

And now I'm thinking, and somehow he puts it all inside of a book.

I mean, you're pretty awesome.

SPEAKER_04: Oh, thank you so much.

I I'm I'm really having a lot of fun.

You know, it doesn't help that I can't spell and I suck at grammar.

I'm gonna be honest with you there.

And that's part of my weakness of vulnerability.

And, you know, there's so many ways to say two and dare.

It's like, you know.

And it's funny, but I'm okay with that.

I am totally okay that it that if I do something and I misspelled something, just deal with it, okay?

Yeah.

But I I I do have I do have editors that help, so hopefully by the time my book comes out, it will be professionally edited.

Yes.

But there are times where I write a blog or I'll write a post and you know something might be misspelled, and I'm okay with that.

Judge me if you want.

Just take the essence of the information that I'm trying to say and don't be a jerk.

SPEAKER_01: That's uh well, that there's so many times that me, like I have I have like the setting turned on in my in Gmail, and I'll be writing an email, and all of a sudden it will pop up with like a little thing, like telling me I did something wrong.

And I'm gonna go back and I'll be like, what's wrong?

And I'll be like, and I and I'll be like, oh, that's how you okay, fine, I'll go with your suggestion.

And then I go back and I reread, and I was like, wow, I just that does make more sense now.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah.

No, it is, but but that's okay.

You know, I I'm not a perfect person, and I'm okay with not being perfect.

Because what it is is I'm unique and I'm special.

And and I have a thing that I started about six months ago, and I started this with my husband, and it got kind of funny, but he I did something once, and I'm like, yep, I'm a gift to the world.

And and and he was like, Yeah, okay, whatever.

And he just laughs.

And then it got to the point where it annoyed him so much that I just kept saying it.

So then I started saying it to friends and family, and it just kind of caught on.

And then I did something really nice.

All right, no, I did something for my husband one time, and uh I oh, he needed a ride.

He's like, I need you to pick me up.

I said, Yeah, I'll pick you up, but you gotta tell me I'm a gift of the world.

And he's like, I'm not saying that.

And I'm like, well, then call Uber, man.

And I hung up and I hung up.

And he called me back.

He's like, You just hung up on me.

I'm like, say it.

So he's like, fine, you're a gift to the world.

You know, so I went and picked him up.

And then probably like three months later, I did something nice for him, and I forget what it was, but I I walked in and he's like, you know, you really are a gift to the world.

I'm like, oh my God, it's catching on.

You know, and then other people are saying it.

So I feel like uh Star Lord in the uh Guardians of the Galaxy.

You know, it's like at the end, they're like, they call him Star Lord, and he's like, yes.

SPEAKER_01: You know what?

I'm starting to I'm starting to understand why me and you are getting along so well.

Because it it's a very common thing in my family, and they're like, Kevin, if your head could get any bigger, you know.

Yep.

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04: I I had the luxury of taking care of my grandmother for the last seven years of her life.

So she moved in with us because Pete and I have always been caregivers, because my mom has stage four cancer for a long time now.

Uh she's a survivor and she's she's been fighting it.

So we we we just bought a big house and we created like you know little apartments in it.

So that's kind of our situation.

But my grandmother was with us, and for that last seven years, it was such a treat for me because she was all my life, she's been my biggest fan.

Like there was never anything that I could do wrong in her eyes.

And you know, I even my she believed in me when I didn't believe in myself.

She thought I was a good person when I didn't think I was a good person.

And she always called me Saint David.

And so the family just hated that.

You know, they're and so Saint David is like a they make jibes even now.

Oh, Saint David's home.

But but it would it would be like I would be working all day, and my mom and sister would be taking care of my grandmother, and she was in her wheelchair and just feeding her, taking care of her all day.

And I would walk in, and it was like the sun came out, and David's home, David's home.

And then she'd be having dinner.

She says, Dinner was great, thank you for making it for me.

You know, and my mom and sister are like, uh, we made that.

And and my only reply was, you're welcome, Nani.

I'd be glad to I love making new food.

You know, and she was an incredible woman.

And it was, it was both a gift and it was it was the hardest thing I ever had to do watching her die.

But we did it, and and I made her life good at the end.

And it's something I'm very proud of.

And it was probably, again, it was one of the hardest things we did as a family because we all came together to do it.

But I couldn't have done it without my mom, my sister, and my husband.

But I will be glad to take full credit for her happiness.

SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.

And that is so funny.

Well, as as you're talking about that though, I can't help but think of my own family.

And I can't help but think of my mom.

And my mom will be over at my grandparents' house.

And my mom will be over there for holidays.

And it's my mom will go over there, start early in the morning, helps Nana cook all day long.

And she's the one there slaving away.

As soon as brother Rick comes in five minutes late to dinner.

Oh, Rick, come, I got your tea made.

You know, and Nana's like, and my mom's always like, oh, I know, let the boys show up.

I'm the one who's slaving, helping you.

You know, the boys show up and everything's perfect, you know.

SPEAKER_03: Exactly.

I am I am totally okay with this.

SPEAKER_02: Exactly.

SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, man.

Dude, you have been absolutely incredible to talk to today.

SPEAKER_04: Oh, thank you.

Thank you so very much.

I I you know, I really have a lot of fun in life.

My my new rule is uh I did again, I have strong boundaries, I have a lot of self-respect, but it if it doesn't bring me joy, I don't do it.

And I am so comfortable saying no, thank you.

So if anybody gets anything out of today, if you could just think that if someone asks you to do something, if it doesn't bring you joy, don't do it.

Okay, because that's what life is about, and you deserve so much more than you think.

SPEAKER_01: That's so right on.

Spot on, man.

Thank you again for doing the podcast today.

SPEAKER_04: Oh, you're welcome.

This has been a pleasure for me as well, so thank you.

SPEAKER_01: And that's the lowdown with Kevin Lowe.

I hope today's episode inspired you, motivated you, and excited you to get out and enjoy life, no matter what obstacles may be standing in the way.