#413: Comparison Isn’t the Problem — You’re Just Doing It Wrong!

Kevin Lowe: And just as a side note, in case you're new here, my friend, by all means, please be sure that you hit the follow button on whatever app you're listening, because coming up in the next month, which is October 2025.

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Kevin Lowe: The reason is because the month of October, it's meaningful to me.

Kevin Lowe: And I'll get to that inside of our next episode once we kick off the month-long series.

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Kevin Lowe: So my friend, this is Grit, Grace, and Inspiration. I'm your host, Kevin Lowe.

Kevin Lowe: And my friend, I hope you enjoy today's episode. Yeah, I got Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

Podcast Intro: I got Grit, Grace, & Inspiration on my mind

Kevin Lowe: So here's what got me thinking about this whole idea of comparison.

Kevin Lowe: And more so, how can we begin to view comparison differently?

Kevin Lowe: It's because at the time that I'm recording today's episode, I'm one day away from my birthday.

Kevin Lowe: I'm turning 39 years old.

Kevin Lowe: And yes, my friend, you know what that means. I'm a year away from turning 40.

Kevin Lowe: And there's nothing that gets us thinking about the big picture of life, comparing our lives to others more than a birthday.

Kevin Lowe: You know, when we're kids, birthdays are nothing but balloons, birthday parties, having fun.

Kevin Lowe: As we grow older, they begin to take a whole new dynamic. Yeah, maybe we like to celebrate, but in our alone time, at 3 a.m.

Kevin Lowe: In the morning, you can't help but start to think about your life, where you're at, what goals you haven't achieved, what plans didn't work out, and how your life looks to everyone else.

Kevin Lowe: And so, of course, you just go ahead and twist the knife a little deeper as you're jabbing yourself in the eye because you go on Facebook, you go on Instagram, and you start scrolling.

Kevin Lowe: And you start comparing your life to everyone else's highlight reel.

Kevin Lowe: You know it's not true. You know it's not something you should do.

Kevin Lowe: But we do it anyways. We start doom scrolling, scroll after scroll, comparing our life to everyone else's.

Kevin Lowe: Why did they have it all work out? Why do they have it so good?

Kevin Lowe: And why am I here? What is wrong with me?

Kevin Lowe: Why am I almost 40 years old and I'm at this point in my life?

Kevin Lowe: And yet people I went to school with, they're at this whole other point in their life.

Kevin Lowe: Comparison. It can be the thief of joy.

Kevin Lowe: Unless we flip the script and we begin to use it to our advantage.

Kevin Lowe: So here's the shift that we have to start to make. It has to be a conscious shift. It has to be something that we do with intention.

Kevin Lowe: So when you catch yourself in that state of mind where you're beginning to compare yourself to others, I want you to instead flip comparison upside down.

Kevin Lowe: Because I'm about to show you the cheat code, the shortcut to have you improving your own life by using comparison, but in a positive way.

Kevin Lowe: Because what I want you to realize is what I'm about to tell you is going to prove that comparison doesn't have to be the bad guy.

Kevin Lowe: It can be one of your biggest motivators for success.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, we've all just been trained to look at comparison in the wrong direction.

Kevin Lowe: Or maybe more specifically, we're looking at the wrong place for comparison.

Kevin Lowe: We're looking next to us instead of behind us. We're looking at everyone else instead of at ourself.

Kevin Lowe: The three different ways that I want you to begin to use comparison for your good start with number one is that I want you to begin to compare backwards.

Kevin Lowe: So the next time that you're in that state of mind and you're beginning to beat yourself up, you're beginning to compare yourself to others.

Kevin Lowe: You know, we all are in our own race. We're all in our own life.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, we're doing life together, but life looks different for every single one of us.

Kevin Lowe: Each one of us are writing our own book, our own story of life.

Kevin Lowe: And so instead of comparing your book to someone else's, I want you to compare where you are today to where you were yesterday, to where you were last week, last month, 10 years ago.

Kevin Lowe: When you do that, you can begin to ask yourself, compared to where I was then, how far have I come? How have I advanced?

Kevin Lowe: What have I gone through and yet I've overcome? Probably a lot.

Kevin Lowe: And so chances are you've made progress that you've not even taken the time to give yourself credit for.

Kevin Lowe: Because you've been comparing your story to someone else's.

Kevin Lowe: Instead, just look backwards. Look back a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade, and see how far you've come.

Kevin Lowe: Now, maybe, just maybe, you're not happy with the progress.

Kevin Lowe: Well, I'll tell you one of two things. Either that's your motivation that you need to do more.

Kevin Lowe: Or maybe it's time to give yourself a little bit of grace, give yourself a break and realize, yeah, maybe I didn't achieve all those goals and dreams I had in the past 10 years. But what have I been through?

Kevin Lowe: What have I overcome? Because if you're like me, life isn't easy.

Kevin Lowe: There's health challenges. There's financial difficulties. There's family drama.

Kevin Lowe: There's all this stuff that we deal with that we tend to blow off.

Kevin Lowe: We tend to not think about when we're looking back.

Kevin Lowe: But sometimes we have to let ourselves really dig deep and pull out the stuff that maybe we'd rather forget about.

Kevin Lowe: But it's a part of us. It's a part of our story. And my friend, it's all a reason of why you are where you are today, for better or worse.

Kevin Lowe: Now, the second way, second direction I want you to compare is I want you to compare upwards.

Kevin Lowe: If there is somebody ahead of you that you admire, maybe that you're a little jealous of, instead of resenting them, why not use their success as a source of motivation, a source of inspiration?

Kevin Lowe: Look at what they've done. Look at their level of success and study it.

Kevin Lowe: See if you can copy it. See if you can achieve what they've been able to achieve.

Kevin Lowe: There's nothing wrong with that. Because comparison, when used right, when used from this positive lens, it can raise your ceiling rather than shrinking your confidence.

Kevin Lowe: Now, the third direction I want you to begin comparing is inward.

Kevin Lowe: This could be the most important way that I want you to begin to use comparison out of any that I mentioned.

Kevin Lowe: Because whatever you're thinking about in the moment, I want you to really think and dig deep and get true with yourself.

Kevin Lowe: Does this really even matter? Does it truly align with who I am or what I want?

Kevin Lowe: Or am I just stuck in this comparison trap of looking at what everybody else has?

Kevin Lowe: Do you really and truly want their life? Do you really and truly want to have that person's life that you think is so great?

Kevin Lowe: From the outside, yeah, maybe at first it seems flashy and glamorous, but do you really want what they have?

Kevin Lowe: Or what you already have, what you're working on, say it may be what's maybe more true to you.

Kevin Lowe: Now, not to make you too dizzy, but when you can begin to use these three strategies by comparing backward, upward, and inward, you can begin to flip the script on comparison by turning comparison from a negative thing into a positive thing.

Kevin Lowe: So what I want you to do this next week is when comparison begins to creep into your mind, I want you to try this simple exercise.

Kevin Lowe: I want you to compare backward. I want you to write down one way in which you're further ahead, that you've improved personally, professionally, that somehow you've moved the needle forward in some aspect of your life from where you were a year ago, from where you were 10 years ago.

Kevin Lowe: Or if it's a person that you look at and you wish you could be like them, you wish that you had their success, but why don't you instead write down one thing that you could learn from them, that you could copy that they're doing?

Kevin Lowe: That's by you looking upward, comparing upward.

Kevin Lowe: And then, of course, the third question that you could ask yourself is by looking inward. Is what I am trying to compare to, the thing that I want, is it really true to who I am?

Kevin Lowe: Does it really matter? Do I really and truly want that?

Kevin Lowe: Or do I just think so in the moment? Is it my emotions leading the way?

Kevin Lowe: If you can begin to train your mind to ask yourself these type of questions, when comparison starts to try to rob you of joy, my friend, you're going to find yourself enlightened.

Kevin Lowe: You're going to find yourself with a whole new positive outlook on life.

Kevin Lowe: Because every time that we can find a little way to switch the negative into a positive, my friend, that is a positive impact on our life.

Kevin Lowe: It might seem insignificant. It might seem so small.

Kevin Lowe: But my friend, I'm here to tell you, it matters a lot.

Kevin Lowe: And to end today's episode, I want you to be reminded that you are not behind.

Kevin Lowe: You are right where you are meant to be.

Kevin Lowe: Now, trust me, I get it.

Kevin Lowe: That's easier said than believed because sometimes we want things to happen.

Kevin Lowe: We've been chugging away. We've been trying.

Kevin Lowe: And it seems like we're just on this never-ending treadmill. I get it.

Kevin Lowe: But I promise you that your time is coming.

Kevin Lowe: We never know what tomorrow will bring.

Kevin Lowe: All we can do is focus on today. We can focus on being our best, doing our best.

Kevin Lowe: We can focus on comparing the right things, not the wrong things.

Kevin Lowe: To stop looking around, to stop looking on Facebook and Instagram.

Kevin Lowe: Instead, start looking at ourselves.

Kevin Lowe: Comparing us to us.

Kevin Lowe: That's the only person I ever want you to compare yourself to.

Kevin Lowe: So my friend, remember, starting today, comparison, it's perfect as long as you use it the right way by comparing backward, upward, and inward.

Kevin Lowe: Use those three ways of comparison, and my friend, you are going to be ahead in life.

Kevin Lowe: And we've just flipped the script on what used to be the thief of joy and now turned it into your secret weapon for your own personal growth and development.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, I'm your host, Kevin Lowe. I hope today's episode makes you think about things a little differently.

Kevin Lowe: I hope maybe it sparks an idea inside of you.

Kevin Lowe: And ultimately, I hope that it helps you in some way, shape, or form. That's why I'm here.

Kevin Lowe: That's why I do what I do, is I just want to be a help to you.

Kevin Lowe: So my friend, until next episode, get out there and enjoy this beautiful day.

Kevin Lowe: And remember, you're more awesome than you give yourself credit for.

Kevin Lowe: So just get out there and keep living life, doing what you can.

Kevin Lowe: Realize every day is a gift. So take advantage of it.

Podcast Outro: I got Grit, Grace, & Inspiration on my mind...