#411: How to Find Hope When Life Falls Apart: 3 Life Lessons I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self

Kevin Lowe: It's all going To be okay? It's an interesting thought. It's something to think about.

Kevin Lowe: And today, I want you to do that very thing. Because even though we can't actually go back in time.

Kevin Lowe: We can start today.

Kevin Lowe: We can make an impact on our lives right now by maybe taking our advice as.

Kevin Lowe: If we were Already in the future. So my friend, today I'm going to share with you a speech that I actually recently gave as part of a speaking competition called Next Top Speaker, in which I made it to the top 100. But I.

Kevin Lowe: Felt too compelled By what I had to share that.

Kevin Lowe: I wanted to share It with you here on the podcast. So today is a letter to my younger self.

Kevin Lowe: Dear younger me.

Kevin Lowe: And the reason this means anything to you is that I have to believe that what I had to share with my younger self might just be able to help you as well.

Kevin Lowe: So, my friend, if you're interested.

Kevin Lowe: If you want to learn more, Well, then I hope you'll keep listening. This is episode 411 of Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

Kevin Lowe: And I, of course, am your host, Kevin Lowe, an inspirational speaker, blind visionary, and your very host of this podcast.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, it's always a pleasure to have you here. So let's go ahead and dive into today's episode.

Podcast Intro Music: Yeah, I got grit, grace, and inspiration on my mind.

Kevin Lowe: What was the date that your world stopped spinning? Mine, it was October 28th.

Kevin Lowe: 2003.

Kevin Lowe: I was 17 years old and I was already checked in at the hospital.

Kevin Lowe: I was already in the hospital bed.

Kevin Lowe: Had the cute little gown on, IV in.

Kevin Lowe: I was all Prepped and ready for the day's surgery. And the nurses, they were pushing me down the long hallways, headed to the operating room.

Kevin Lowe: Now, I remember, of course, There's that final long hallway, so cold, headed to those double swinging doors, the operating room.

Kevin Lowe: And right before We pushed the bed through those double doors.

Kevin Lowe: They paused and Let me say goodbye to my parents.

Kevin Lowe: My mom and dad, They had been walking with me the whole way. and they each bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Kevin Lowe: They grabbed my hand, Told me everything was going to be okay, that they'd see me in a little bit.

Kevin Lowe: And I always say that if I knew then.

Kevin Lowe: What I know now, I don't know that I Could have allowed them to push me through those doors.

Kevin Lowe: I don't know that I Could have gone through with it because that would be the last time that I would ever see the faces of my parents again.

Kevin Lowe: If I had known then what I know now, I don't know that I could have stopped staring.

Kevin Lowe: Trying to remember every single detail, Exactly the color of their eyes, every wrinkle, every crease, the exact shape of their noses, the exact color of their skin, every single detail.

Kevin Lowe: Because as I said.

Kevin Lowe: That would be the Last time I would ever get to see them.

Kevin Lowe: Now, how did I get here? Well, that happened just a few weeks earlier.

Kevin Lowe: And it came with the result of an MRI.

Kevin Lowe: The doctor, he called my mom on a Friday evening to give her the news that the results were in.

Kevin Lowe: And unfortunately, it wasn't good news. He asked her to pull over before giving her the news That her son.

Kevin Lowe: Had a brain tumor.

Kevin Lowe: As he said, it was worse than he ever expected.

Kevin Lowe: Nobody thought I Was going to have something like that.

Kevin Lowe: Not something so severe.

Kevin Lowe: And yet it was a tumor the.

Kevin Lowe: Size of a plum right in the Center of my head.

Kevin Lowe: Now, thankfully, this tumor was non-cancerous. But due to its size, Due to its position.

Kevin Lowe: They said I had at most six months to live.

Kevin Lowe: At 17 years old, I was six months away from dying.

Kevin Lowe: And nobody would have even known why.

Kevin Lowe: I probably just wouldn't have woken up one morning.

Kevin Lowe: But thankfully, surgery was the answer. I would have surgery.

Kevin Lowe: My life would be saved. Everything would be fine. That was exactly the mindset headed into October 28th.

Kevin Lowe: 2003, is this was just a little bump in the road.

Kevin Lowe: I'd go in for surgery.

Kevin Lowe: They'd remove the tumor.

Kevin Lowe: They said I'd be out of school for about three weeks, which as a junior in high school, I was like, hallelujah, three-week vacation from school.

Kevin Lowe: I'm down.

Kevin Lowe: But everything didn't go as planned because there we were in the hospital.

Kevin Lowe: Everything was checked out.

Kevin Lowe: I went into that operating room. I said goodbye to my parents.

Kevin Lowe: And the doctor, he came out many Hours later to let my family know that everything went great.

Kevin Lowe: Surgery, a total success. he was able to successfully remove the tumor.

Kevin Lowe: Their son's life was saved, but at what cost?

Kevin Lowe: No one ever talked about the cost.

Kevin Lowe: No one ever expected the cost.

Kevin Lowe: When I awoke from that surgery, expecting for everything to be okay, everything wasn't okay because I awoke to a world gone dark.

Kevin Lowe: There were no lights. There were no shapes.

Kevin Lowe: There were no faces.

Kevin Lowe: There were voices. There were noises.

Kevin Lowe: But everything was dark. It was just black. I was left completely blind, completely unexpected.

Kevin Lowe: Never in a million years was it thought that this would happen.

Kevin Lowe: And yet it happened to me.

Kevin Lowe: I awoke to be left completely blind. And I can tell you, for the longest time.

Kevin Lowe: I would go to bed every single night the exact same way.

Kevin Lowe: Sobbing into my pillow. Crying.

Kevin Lowe: Screaming.

Kevin Lowe: Begging God to please just let me see again.

Kevin Lowe: Becoming blind. it took everything from me.

Kevin Lowe: So I thought the truck I got when I turned 16 a year before, big, beautiful forest green Ford F-150 was sitting in the driveway.

Kevin Lowe: But the thing that hurt me the most was my family.

Kevin Lowe: I couldn't see my mom anymore. I couldn't see my dad, my sister.

Kevin Lowe: I couldn't even look out my bedroom window and see the deer feeding in the yard like I used to do every morning as I'd watch the golden, Beautiful rays of sunlight start cresting the horizon, watching the deer quietly feeding in the side yard.

Kevin Lowe: All of that was gone. Everything I ever loved, Ever dreamed about.

Kevin Lowe: Was taken from me in an instant. And every night I would cry myself to sleep, begging God to just let me see again.

Kevin Lowe: Even if nothing more, Then God just let me be able to see the faces of my family and nothing else.

Kevin Lowe: That would be okay. And yet every morning, the same thing would happen.

Kevin Lowe: I'd open my eyes, expecting to be healed.

Kevin Lowe: And yet I would see the same thing that I did when they were closed.

Kevin Lowe: If I could go back in time.

Kevin Lowe: I would go back to this point In my life, to a 17-year-old boy whose life had just been destroyed.

Kevin Lowe: And I wish so badly That I could go back.

Kevin Lowe: And I could lay down beside him In that bed.

Kevin Lowe: Simply to be there To tell him.

Kevin Lowe: That it's going to be okay. But more specifically, I've narrowed it down to three specific things that I would tell That 17-year-old boy.

Kevin Lowe: And these are the three Same things that I'm going to tell you today. Because the chances are.

Kevin Lowe: Is that you've Had moments in your life where it's felt like your entire world has stopped spinning. Where you felt like you couldn't go on any further.

Kevin Lowe: Maybe you're there right now.

Kevin Lowe: If you are, then please know I'm talking to you.

Kevin Lowe: The first thing That I would tell him is to not give up on your faith, nor your family.

Kevin Lowe: At the end of the day, when all is said and done, those will be the two things, your cornerstone, your foundation, that will get you through the darkest days and the longest night.

Kevin Lowe: Because there's going to be nights when.

Kevin Lowe: You feel like giving up.

Kevin Lowe: When you pray that if God won't heal you.

Kevin Lowe: That he'll give You the courage to end your life.

Kevin Lowe: Maybe you've already been there. Maybe you've already gotten to that point.

Kevin Lowe: But when you lean on your faith and your family, those will make it so That you never even go a step further. Because you'll realize that.

Kevin Lowe: You have an Entire family there with you. and that, yeah, maybe ending your life helps you.

Kevin Lowe: But what will it do to them?

Kevin Lowe: I'm saying this as the person who's already lived it.

Kevin Lowe: Who already knows What it's like to want something so bad that won't be given to you.

Kevin Lowe: To want to end the pain so much that you feel like the only way out is to End your life.

Kevin Lowe: But that is not the only way out, that there is more life to live, that the sun will rise again, And.

Kevin Lowe: That you will Learn to see that sunrise in a whole new beautiful way. You just have to give it time.

Kevin Lowe: But right now, draw close to your faith.

Kevin Lowe: Lean on your family. You're going to have a tendency, We all do, to feel like we need to protect those we love.

Kevin Lowe: We don't want to share with them how bad we're hurting because we.

Kevin Lowe: Don't want them to hurt anymore.

Kevin Lowe: But that's what family is for. That is why we are there for one another, is to be the person for someone to lean on.

Kevin Lowe: To come to. If we're not Willing to do that for them.

Kevin Lowe: How can we expect them To do it.

Kevin Lowe: For us? We want them to come to us with their pains, their problems.

Kevin Lowe: We don't want them to suffer alone. Well, it's the same for you.

Kevin Lowe: So lean on your family.

Kevin Lowe: When you're sad, don't be alone. Don't go to them, cry with them, climb in bed, and cry out the pain.

Kevin Lowe: It's much better to have somebody there with you than to go through this alone.

Kevin Lowe: And your faith, your faith is your cornerstone.

Kevin Lowe: Your faith is the one thing that will see you through every step of this journey.

Kevin Lowe: Don't give up on your faith.

Kevin Lowe: Don't give up on a relationship that you have with the creator of the universe.

Kevin Lowe: The creator who made you. And at the moment, You may feel like he's betraying you, like he's given up on you.

Kevin Lowe: That cannot be more from the truth.

Kevin Lowe: He loves you.

Kevin Lowe: And I promise, knowing what I know now, That all of this is for a greater purpose. And I know that doesn't make sense right now.

Kevin Lowe: You may not want to hear it right now, But I just am here to tell you, coming to you from the future.

Kevin Lowe: That it's all going to make sense soon enough.

Kevin Lowe: And that brings me to the second point.

Kevin Lowe: The second thing I want to tell you is.

Kevin Lowe: I want you to give Yourself grace. What you're going through is a lot.

Kevin Lowe: What you've been through is unfair.

Kevin Lowe: So don't beat yourself up. Don't listen to outsiders who have opinions about your life.

Kevin Lowe: About what you should be doing, about how far along you should be.

Kevin Lowe: They don't know anything. The only person's opinion who matters right now is yours.

Kevin Lowe: So again, if you're listening to the outside noise, Seek advice with caution. Only listen to those who you trust with your life.

Kevin Lowe: Who know you better than you know you. Those are the only people you listen to.

Kevin Lowe: Everyone else, you block out the noise. This is your race. You race it how you want to race it.

Kevin Lowe: Some people race it fast.

Kevin Lowe: Others take it a little bit slower.

Kevin Lowe: Some take breaks along the way.

Kevin Lowe: We're all on our own race. This is yours.

Kevin Lowe: Run it how You want to run it. If it takes you longer to get to stage one of the race with my friend, that is perfectly fine.

Kevin Lowe: Because again, no one knows what you're going through more than you do. So do not listen to them.

Kevin Lowe: Do not beat yourself up. And again, just give yourself grace and understand that it's going to be okay.

Kevin Lowe: That if you give yourself grace, if you're patient with yourself, I promise it's going to get easier. It's going to get better.

Kevin Lowe: But I want you to do This on your timeline.

Kevin Lowe: And I want you to do it your own unique way.

Kevin Lowe: And that brings me to the third point, is that blindness, it may have taken your eyesight, but it did not take who you are.

Kevin Lowe: You are still heaven low. You are still a boy with a big heart.

Kevin Lowe: With an amazing curiosity, with an amazing sense of creativity.

Kevin Lowe: You're still the boy who never really cares to do things like anyone else.

Kevin Lowe: you've always tended to go against the grain to do things your own way.

Kevin Lowe: Well, don't stop now. I want you to lean in to who you are more than ever before Because I don't.

Kevin Lowe: Want you to lose who you are.

Kevin Lowe: Again, what happened? It has taken so much from you. Don't let it take who you are.

Kevin Lowe: The world needs You just as you are.

Kevin Lowe: And I know it might not make any Sense right now.

Kevin Lowe: But I'm going to tell you That there's going to come a point.

Kevin Lowe: Down the line when that very sense of going against the grain, That very sense of finding ways around obstacles, of being curious, of being creative, it's going to let you find a way to see again.

Kevin Lowe: Just in a whole new, Incredible way.

Kevin Lowe: You're not going to get to see Like you used to. I'm sorry to say.

Kevin Lowe: And you're going to wish forever that you could see again, but you're going to find a new way to see. But you're going to get To see the world like a bat or a dolphin using echolocation.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, you're going to get to a point where you're able to retrain your brain to see through sound.

Kevin Lowe: It's going to blow your mind.

Kevin Lowe: But even more than that, you're going to learn to see the world, The people in this world.

Kevin Lowe: In a way far greater than sight Could ever allow.

Kevin Lowe: Because you're going to get to learn that there's so much more to this world than just what the eye can see. You'll begin to Appreciate the morning sunrise based on the heat that shines on your face.

Kevin Lowe: By the sound of the birds that chirp in the morning, That special song.

Kevin Lowe: They only do When the sun first starts to rise.

Kevin Lowe: You'll pay attention to the little things, the sound of the fluttering leaves, the feel of the cool breeze, The heartwarming laughter of a child. You'll see the warmth of your family's smiles by the very essence of just who they are.

Kevin Lowe: You'll be able to see your mom's face again in a whole new way.

Kevin Lowe: You'll get to understand what your dad looks like even as he grows older in a whole new way.

Kevin Lowe: And I know it doesn't make sense right now. And I know you just want to see Like you used to.

Kevin Lowe: But I promise it's Going to be okay.

Kevin Lowe: That there's so much more To this life.

Kevin Lowe: Than you even can imagine.

Kevin Lowe: You've just got to give yourself time.

Kevin Lowe: You got to Lean on your faith and your family in the hard times. You got to give yourself grace.

Kevin Lowe: And you have to just lean in to who you are and never stop being you.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, that's what I wish I could go back and tell my younger self.

Kevin Lowe: I'm coming up on the 22-year anniversary of when I became blind.

Kevin Lowe: And today, more than ever, I do wish so badly that I could go back and talk to my 17-year-old self.

Kevin Lowe: Simply to be there to Let him know that it's going to be okay. And obviously, that's not possible.

Kevin Lowe: But what is possible is for me to talk to you, who's listening to me on this podcast.

Kevin Lowe: You might be my nice-door neighbor, or you might be on the other side Of the world. But whoever you are.

Kevin Lowe: I understand that you're probably going through stuff In your own life.

Kevin Lowe: And I want you to know that it's going to be okay. And I encourage you to find your base, Your foundation. For myself, this has always been my faith and my family. For you.

Kevin Lowe: I encourage you to Find that base, the foundation, the cornerstone to your life, to your existence.

Kevin Lowe: And I encourage you to lean on it when you need to. I encourage you to give yourself grace when you find yourself Beating yourself up, when you find yourself talking bad to yourself, give yourself some grace.

Kevin Lowe: And of course, I say it often on this podcast and I'm going to say it here.

Kevin Lowe: The world needs more of you. I think you're amazing. The fact that you're listening to this podcast, It tells me that you care about your life.

Kevin Lowe: That you want to become better. You want to do better. You want more out of life.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, that is what this world needs. That's what you need.

Kevin Lowe: So lean in to who you are and never stop being you.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, my name is Kevin Lowe.

Kevin Lowe: This, of course, is Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

Kevin Lowe: If you ever need anything, Please reach out to me. If you check out the show notes, there's links to contact me.

Kevin Lowe: If you go to the website, gritgraceinspiration.com.

Kevin Lowe: You can find links to contact me there.

Kevin Lowe: And also, you know, if you're somebody.

Kevin Lowe: Part of an organization or association or maybe even a corporation and you have an upcoming meeting that you're needing an inspirational speaker for, Hey, I would love it if you would reach out to me.

Kevin Lowe: Again, all my contact information is in the episode show notes or right on my website at GritGraceInspiration.com.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, as always, it's an honor and joy to have you joining me each and every week here on the podcast.

Kevin Lowe: I hope you have an amazing day.

Kevin Lowe: And lastly, if there's somebody who you think could benefit from hearing today's message.

Kevin Lowe: I really hope That you'll share today's episode with them. Until next week.

Kevin Lowe: I hope you have an Absolutely beautiful day. Thank you so much for being here.

Podcast Outro Music: I got Grit, Grace, & Inspiration on my mind