The Vicious Attack Left Me Bloodied and in Shock

SPEAKER_00: Hey, welcome back to the podcast.

I'm super excited to have you here today for episode number 35.

As you can tell by today's title, today's episode is gonna be a little bit different than normal because, well, normally we don't talk about attempted murder charges, especially those against appliances and silverware.

But, anyways, I thought there's a lot of crazy stuff going in the world right now.

There's a lot happening right here in the United States.

And I don't know, I've found myself kind of inundated with all of this different news coverage, whether it's on TV, it's on the Facebook newsfeed, it's on the radio, in other podcasts I listen to.

And to be quite honest, for myself, it's just not been doing good for me, for my mental health.

I've honestly found myself distressed out, worried, upset.

I think all of us, we're always worried about things that we don't know, things that we can't control.

And I've honestly just had to hand it over to God.

And, you know, I've talked a lot on this podcast before about my faith and in the role that it plays in my life.

And to be honest, and that's where I've had to this week, I've just been like, you know what, God, I want you to handle it.

You're in charge, you know what you're doing.

And you know what?

It's my job to just remember that you're in control and find peace in that.

And I have.

And so I thought, you know what?

You've just got to get back to what makes you happy.

And that's when I thought, you know what?

I bet there's other people who are feeling the same way I have.

And I thought, let's go ahead and make you laugh.

And so today I have a couple of funny stories.

Well, funny at my expense, but as it is, I want to make you laugh.

So let's get on with today's episode.

Okay, so I mentioned that my goal with today's episode is to make you laugh.

And well, I don't know what it really says about those of us who enjoy shows like it, where for some reason people get such a kick out of other people getting hurt.

People trying crazy things, and and something doesn't go right, and it's a big blooper.

I mean, those things have been around forever.

And there's one show that I remember super popular when I was a teenager, and that was called Jackass.

And basically, you had a group of guys out doing ridiculous different things, and every time they're getting hurt, something fierce, and everyone just went crazy about it.

And well, I guess today's episode is kind of uh kind of like my little version of Jackass.

So, anyways, I want to start off by asking you a quick question.

When you were at home, do you wear shoes?

Now, I'm born and raised here in Florida, right here on the coast of the Atlantic Ocean.

And I grew up, had a swimming pool in the backyard.

We went to the beach all growing up, and I mean, not to mention, it's Florida.

It's hot.

And so I grew up never wearing shoes in the house.

Now, our house was never one of those houses, you know, there were some of those friends' houses that you would go over to, and it was, they had the rule, like, no shoes in the house, you know.

Our house was not like that, but it was just the pure thing of out of comfort, you got home, you took your shoes off, and you walk around barefoot.

Well, this ordinarily is not a big deal until I went blind.

And I say this because I can't tell you how many times after I went blind and I had my mobility instructor would come to the house and work with me on getting around the house.

She'd work with me outside of the home, you know, using my cane, the white cane that I use, you know, all of that kind of stuff.

But they couldn't understand why in the house I didn't wear any shoes.

And then when we went outside of the house, I would only wear a pair of flip-flops, or at most maybe put on a pair of boat shoes.

Certainly nothing with socks.

As I like to say, my feet get very claustrophobic when you start putting socks and clothes-toed shoes on them.

But the big thing was that they always harped on this whole thing about, you know, shoes, shoes, shoes, because of protecting your feet.

And well, that's what brings me to my first couple of stories is my poor toes.

And so I can't tell you how many times in the house.

Now, now listen, I consider myself pretty, pretty efficient, pretty uh safe when it it comes around the house, when out places.

I'm definitely people always, when they when they go out to eat with me, for some reason they feel like I'm blind, so I should probably be like a really messy eater or something.

I don't really get that.

Everybody has this like weird thing of like, I don't understand how you can take a fork and get a scoop of food from your plate and get it to your mouth without spilling it or hitting that fork onto your nose.

And I'm just like, what?

Like, this is like, you know, this this isn't a big deal.

But anyways, so what I'm saying is is that for the most part, I'm pretty good.

But there are times when around the house when something happens, a chair gets left out, and that doesn't happen very often.

But I can't tell you how many times I'm walking through the house.

And now, when inside of a house, my house, I don't use my cane at all because I know the house too well.

So I don't need it.

And so, anyways, but man, all of a sudden it never fails.

My toes are gonna find a chair that's been left pulled out.

Oh my gosh, hurts so bad.

Now, sometimes though, it's it's not even that furniture's been moved, it's me just straight up being stupid.

I can't tell you there was this one time I was telling my sister, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm like today.

I was in my bedroom and I spun around to walk back towards the door.

Well, I spun around a little too far and walked right into the dresser.

And of course, what hits at first is my toe swings up under the dresser, slams into it, and oh my gosh, hurts so bad.

And so I remember my sister who my sister, she she's kind of one of them tough love types.

And so I remember her telling me, well, it does seem like every time you spin around, there ends up being an issue.

Maybe you should stop spinning around.

I'm like, oh come on, come on.

But anyway, so those are like those funny things.

But the time that I really understood how it could come in handy of wearing shoes was one night I was the only one at home and I'm in the kitchen and it was late.

I was getting ready for bed, but I thought, you know what, before heading to bed, I was gonna quick wash up the last few dishes that were there in the sink.

Well, I was doing good, everything was going great, until my elbow happened to come in contact with the large glass mason jar that was sitting upside down on the drying mat next to the sink.

No sooner did my elbow hit that glass mason jar, it absolutely exploded on the tile floor.

I mean, I don't know.

It literally just it could not have been more perfect of a break.

There was not a solid piece left, the entire thing shattered all around me.

And I'm literally standing there bare feet in a kitchen full of shattered glass.

And I was like, oh my gosh, you have got to be kidding me.

And I think I even ended up, I thank goodness I had my cell phone in my pocket.

I called somebody and was like, oh my gosh, I'm like, can you uh come by?

Are you nearby, uh not in bed yet?

I could really use some help.

And I think though, by the time they actually got to the house, I had already gone ahead and figured out a way that just by scooching my feet, not picking them up, I was able to kind of push away most of the glass.

I think I only ended up with a couple of little shards in my food.

I know, I know.

I'm not gonna go into too many details here, not trying to get gross on you, but but anyways, I'm just trying to kind of paint this picture for you that uh that sometimes uh my feet have taken a beating.

And to be honest, it's not always just my fault.

Matter of fact, you know, when I'm out with somebody, we call it going sided guide.

And that's where I take their generally their right arm I hold in my left hand, and then I always still have my cane in my right hand, but I'm counting on them.

They're gonna let me know if there's a curb coming up and I need to step down or, you know, what have you.

Well, one day I'm out.

This wasn't real long after I had gone blind, and I had gone out to dinner with one of my buddies, and we had finished dinner, we're walking back to his car in the parking lot.

Dude straight up runs me flat straight up into the front of a parked car.

I mean, he could not have planned it any better than that.

And so my foot, I had on my flip-flops, my foot went right up under the front of the car.

And oh my gosh, it hurts so bad.

I'm like, oh, and he immediately feels horrible, totally just, you know, not used to having somebody on the side of him.

And so, oh my gosh, I remember, you know, of course, me, I'm being a man, and I'm like, no, no, no, it's it's cool, there's no big deal.

Well, he drops me off at my house.

Well, I can remember walking up to the door, and I could tell my foot was like slipping out of my leather flip-flop.

Why?

Because it was covered in blood where my toes were bleeding.

That was just, you know, one of those uh crazy instances where uh my toes uh they got the the brunt of the joke on that one.

But as bad as all of those little stories sound, in perspective, they really aren't that big of a deal.

I mean, uh a busted toe here and there, I mean, it, you know, it hurts at first, and then, you know, after a day, you kind of forget all about it until somebody happens to tell me, Kevin, why is your toenail black?

And I'm like, it's black?

Why?

Oh, that's right.

Because it got hit and the uh, I guess the blood, I guess when it dries up under the toenail, it turns black.

I know gross, we're not talking about it.

And in my world, my toes look just fine.

So it's always when somebody with uh some vision has to point out to me, wow, Kevin, I guess you busted one of your toes.

And I'm, uh yeah, yeah, just quit looking at my feet, people.

But uh, anyways, so all of this being said is building me up to what today's episode is really about, and that you saw in the title of today's episode about the garbage disposal and metal fork.

Now, I want you to tell you something.

Never underestimate the power of a garbage disposal in a fork.

Because let me paint the picture for you.

It's nighttime.

It's, I think it was about 12:30 at night.

I had been asleep, woke up, I'm dying of thirst.

And so I go into the kitchen and I'm like, I get a drink of water, but I'm like, you know what, that's just not enough.

I'm so thirsty.

So I go into the refrigerator, open up one of the bottom drawers, and grab out one of those little oranges.

I think they're like the little halos or cuties.

You know, they're those little like tangerines that are like super easy to peel.

They got no seeds.

I mean, I think they like made them for children to take to lunch with them.

And so I grabbed me a couple of those and stand at the sink.

And so I'm standing at the sink and I literally sat there and debated.

Okay, now it's late.

I don't want to wake other people up.

Maybe I won't use the the garbage disposal.

But then I'm sitting there, I ate them, I threw the peels in the sink, and I'm like, well, I don't want to just leave the peels sitting here in the sink.

So I'm like, you know what?

I'll just real quick, I'll just real quick run the run the garbage disposal.

It will be fine.

So I make sure, make sure there's nothing in the sink.

The only thing in the sink was a cereal bowl, and it had um, I don't even know, honestly, I don't know that it had anything in it.

I just knew over in like the far corner of the that side of the sink, there was a cereal bowl.

Big deal.

So I click, I turn the faucet on, and I then reach over, turn on the switch with my right hand for the garbage disposal, and I start feeding the uh orange peels into the garbage disposal.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I guess from the vibration in the sink from the garbage disposal, unbeknownst to me, there was a fork, a metal fork in that cereal bowl.

It perfectly, I mean, like, let's give it a 10 out of 10 on its fabulous swan dive.

It flips out of the cereal bowl, lands with the tines facing up right into the center of the uh the drain.

So now it's in the garbage disposal.

And all I know, of course, you know, I don't see this happen.

I'm kind of giving you a play-by-play, but all I know, all of a sudden, I've got my both hands down in the sink feeding in these orange peels, and all of a sudden, the most horrific noise of metal on metal, and this fork is literally whipping around as fast and as fast and fast as it can.

And the whole it's just smacking my hand, something fierce.

And I'm just like, oh my god.

And so you gotta love your instincts when like something happens, because let's face it, what should I have done?

What should I have done was simply pull my hands out of the sink.

Done deal.

But instead, more on me, my first instinct is I just reach up with my left hand and shut the faucet off.

Okay, well, that's awesome, Kev.

You just turned the water off, but you didn't turn the garbage disposal off.

So the fork is still spinning around, whacking my hands.

And so now finally it's like I get my bearings about me, reach over, turn off the garbage disposal.

Now, at that point, you want to talk about everyone in the house being woken up?

Yep, that can do it.

All of a sudden, everyone in the house who was dead asleep, they come running downstairs.

Oh my god, Kevin, are you okay?

Are you okay?

And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so I'm still kind of in shock at this point.

And all I know is my right hand is absolutely killing me.

Literally, it's just been slapped with this metal object.

Well, I didn't even realize that I wasn't just being slapped by the metal fork, it was also stabbing me.

And so literally, I had blood all over my hand.

I ended up with I had, I think, four puncture marks, one in my thumb and then three in my palm up near my knuckles.

It was horrible.

It literally, I said, I'm like, it literally was like a scene from like one of those Final Destination movies, like where, you know, it's coming for you.

You're gonna die.

And I was like, you know, I totally could just hear like the horror music, you know, playing like the, you know, as you know, being stabbed by this fork.

It was so ridiculous.

Now, that was why I said in the title about the garbage disposal of metal fork being uh charged with attempted murder, because straight up it was that severe.

Now, that is just a funny story for you, something that I thought maybe make you laugh.

Maybe you're sitting there thinking, this guy's a whack job.

But whatever you think of me at this point, I hope you enjoyed today's episode.

Hope you maybe got a laugh out of it.

And you know what?

Be careful of that garbage disposal.

It's after you.

SPEAKER_01: And that's the lowdown with Kevin Lowe.

Don't forget to check out the show notes for all of today's mentioned links.