Changing Careers to Chase Your Calling: The Good, The Bad, and The Emotional Toll

The the big meaning of question about life, like what's the meaning?

What's the purpose?

SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Lowdown with Kevin Lowe, the podcast shining light on the inspiring stories of ordinary people choosing to live out anything but ordinary lives.

All in the hope that you will be inspired to live out your best life because this life is meant to be lived.

This podcast is meant to inspire you to do it.

What's going on and welcome back to the Lowdown with Kevin Hello?

My name, of course, is Kevin, and this is episode 117.

Hopefully, your day is going incredible, and my hope, as always, is that the podcast helps to make it even better.

Inside of today's episode, I will be speaking with Sheila Morgan as we unpack her life story of finding where she's truly meant to be in life, what she's meant to be doing, what her gifts truly are, what lights her up and what truly makes an impact on the world.

I was really excited to learn that she used to work in a sawmill where she truly excelled and truly enjoyed it.

Yes, out there with the sawdust and all.

But it was the interaction that she had with her colleagues that really lit her up inside.

But the same fuel that lit her up was the same fuel that made her realize this wasn't where she was meant to be.

It wasn't where she ultimately wanted to be because her gifts were meant to do more than what she was able to do in this career.

Sheila wanted to help people by building them up, by bringing them to a higher level than they ever thought possible, showing them that they are capable of more than they may have ever even realized.

She didn't want to knock them down.

She didn't want to have to fire them.

She didn't want to be the one to tell them that they weren't good enough, that they weren't capable enough.

And ultimately, that's what led to her decision that she needed to move on with life.

And that's why today Sheila is working as an incredible coach, helping people to realize who they are, what they are capable of, lifting them up to be their best version of themselves.

If you have ever felt like you weren't living to your fullest potential, or maybe that's how you feel right now, like what you're doing, you enjoy it, you love it, but it's not really pulling on those heartstrings, it's not lighting up your true passion.

Then I encourage you to turn up the volume, open your mind, and if able, go ahead and close your eyes and let yourself fully escape into today's episode.

Because it's time for you to have all that you can imagine.

This world, this life, it's way too big, it's way too short for you to not be doing what you truly love.

Because the truth is you have gifts that need to be given.

You have a spark that needs to light up the world.

And if you've not been doing that, then maybe today's conversation with Sheila will be the spark that lights that flame and has you thinking to yourself, wow, maybe I could do that too.

With that being said, I introduce you to today's guest, the absolutely beautiful Sheila Morgan.

Sheila, welcome to the podcast.

Thank you.

I'm so excited.

Well, I'm excited to have you here today.

And so, first and foremost, where are you joining us from today?

Where are you located in the world?

SPEAKER_03: I am in the beautiful Willamette Valley of Eugene, Oregon.

SPEAKER_00: Ooh, okay, wonderful.

Well, sounds great.

Sounds great.

Well, we're super excited to have you on the podcast, getting to dive into your story, specifically kind of around this idea of career transition, kind of falling into our passions.

And so, but before we get into what you're doing today as a coach, I would love for us to kind of back up a little bit and give everybody an idea, kind of what life was like for you, because you you had a unique career in working in a sawmill.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

unknown: Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: So would you mind sharing with me a little bit about what life was like back then?

And then maybe we can lead into what led you, you know, to go on the path that you're at today.

SPEAKER_03: Sure.

Yeah.

I had uh kind of a traditional start working in an office.

Uh, it was a logging office.

And I'd sit at a desk and I was a secretary and I did all that kind of stuff.

But I'd sit there every day and see the foresters going in and out and hopping in their trucks and taking off.

And I'd look out the window and it's a beautiful day, and here I am inside.

And I always wanted to do something more than sitting at a desk.

And I didn't know what that was.

So, of course, I started trying to go back to school and doing all of the things and trying to search.

And I ended up going to an event actually with my daughter to uh one of the community college here, and it was non-traditional careers for women.

And I thought okay.

And and they had things like welding and and things like that, which I had done some welding in high school.

I had actually taken a forestry class in high school.

So I had some background and interest in things that were non-traditional.

And one of the things that they had there was an opportunity to build your own wooden toolbox.

So yeah, it was fun.

So my daughter and I sat down and we built ourselves these little little, they were huge and they were heavy.

They were made out of plywood.

And so we we made those.

And then I signed up for the Carpentry Apprenticeship Program, which was not something I'd planned to do.

But it was so much fun.

And so what happened with that was it, they put me on a list.

It's through the union, and you have to be on a list, and you have to actually take a bunch of tests to see if you are, I guess you're smart enough and you're k you don't, you don't have some skills in different areas to see if you know you could become an apprentice.

So I took the test, I got on the list, and then it was like a year or so went by before I even got contacted because I was way down the list.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: I got contacted and they asked me if I wanted to go to work for this company as an apprentice.

And meanwhile, I was still working in an office.

Okay.

And I had 24 hours to decide.

So I said, yes, I'll take it.

And so I thought, what the heck?

I'll I'll take it.

And and I took it and I went to work for a local construction company.

And it turns out that that particular company does very heavy construction, like building tall buildings and pouring concrete and all of that.

And I was more interested in trim work, like finish work, like putting in cabinets and things like that.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

Yes.

SPEAKER_03: But everyone ahead of me on the list had turned this company down because you have to work so hard.

It was such a physical job.

And I didn't really understand how physical.

So I got started out building the first thing that I did was working at a facility where they were building human waste produ uh not production, human waste processing facility.

It was called a bioplant.

I don't even remember the name of it now.

I know all the nicknames we had for it, and I'm not going to say that, but it was hard work.

You know, you're out there in all the weather and you're you're you s have a big hammer or some kind of big tool all the time, carrying sheets of plywood, doing all that kind of work.

And I was hurting and I was taking a lot of like Advil and pain pills and stuff trying to get through this.

And I thought, well, I'll just, you know, I'll just get used to this and it'll be fine.

And then I'd look around in the break room and I see these guys sitting in there.

They're all popping Advil, they're all hurting, they've been doing it for years.

They did, you don't get used to that kind of work.

You get stronger, but it's hard, it's hard on you.

It's really physical.

Of course.

Yeah.

So I said, well, this is too much.

You know, that's just like 180 degree.

He's from City Get a Task, you know?

That's too much.

Yeah.

And my dad uh worked for a major lumber company and logging company.

And he'd always wanted me to come to work there.

And at the time I was married, and my husband worked there as well.

And so both of them were really encouraging me to go work.

And it was a good place, good pay, good benefits, lots of great things to it.

So um I had actually applied to it before I got called for the apprenticeship.

And then the day that they called me to test for that company was the same day that they called me to see if I wanted to do the apprenticeship.

SPEAKER_00: Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

And I chose the apprenticeship.

And so when I realized that's not what I really wanted to do, I had to wait until the company had another hiring event.

Before I could apply for them.

So I did.

And I got hired and started my career as a just sweeping up chips, you know, wood chips and doing cleanup and wheelbarrows full of sawdust and still working hard, but it wasn't as physical.

And there were a lot of people there that I knew, and there was community.

And I really enjoyed it.

I think the hardest thing about it was the hours.

You know, it was a 24-7 facility, and we might start our shift at 4 a.m.

Or, you know, we might work all night and get off work at 4 a.m.

Crazy hours.

Absolutely crazy hours.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

So what was this place producing?

SPEAKER_03: Well, it's a it's a sawmill, and so raw logs would come in from the woods.

Okay.

And we would we'd cut them up into lumber, and it was two-inch dimensional lumber.

So it was widths of four inches up to twelve inches wide and lengths up to twenty foot.

So everything that they you'd use it, you know, to build a house.

Like you'd go to Home Depot, you see the aisles of lumber.

It was all that stuff.

Yes.

So it was it was good quality stuff too.

It's all Douglas fir.

So we had one specie that we dealt with.

We had just those simple dimensions.

And so we had the sawmill part would actually make this rough lumber.

And then those loads of rough lumber would go into our planer.

And the planer would make it nice and pretty.

It would put this spray on it that would keep it from molding so that it didn't get into your house because it was green lumber.

And if you built a house with it, it would mold.

And it with that black mold, it was dangerous.

So they'd spray the anti-mold on there, and then everything would get sorted into grades, lengths and grades, and then those would get packaged up neatly.

And then we had a shipping department that would load it up on trucks and rail cars and send it mostly to California, but lots of other places across the country.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, that's so interesting.

Now, I have little, little experience of kind of knowledge of understanding a little bit about the whole sawmill thing, because I remember when I was in middle school, eighth grade, I remember I went with my dad, and we drove from Florida all the way up to Kansas City, Kansas, to pick up a portable sawmill.

SPEAKER_03: Oh.

SPEAKER_00: And so it was one that, you know, just hooked behind the truck.

And so that picking up the sawmill was the funnest part about operating the sawmill.

Because I can remember us bringing it home and my dad having it set up and and he had all these logs and a total learning experience running the sawmill.

On there, there's a lot to it, you know, um just the different type of trees and how it's gonna interact.

And and you know, and and he had had logs that had been cut down and dried.

Well, those become so hard, too hard to cut with the sawmill.

And you know, and and the sawdust, like you mentioned, is just a massive, massive amount of sawdust.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: So that's interesting.

So now I have to ask, yeah, were there many women who worked at the sawmill?

SPEAKER_03: There weren't.

There weren't that many.

No, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: I didn't think so.

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: Maybe gosh, probably 20, 25 women out of 250 people.

Yeah.

So it was actually, you know, what not even just a few years before I started there, there were maybe two women working there.

So in a short period of time, we started getting more and more.

And and it was fun because there was one night shift, it was a weekend night shift that ended up being all women, which was crazy and awesome.

It was so cool.

We had one guy on the shift, he was a sawfiler, and and we'd tease about, you know, he it was him and his harem, and like like the whole joke about like like it was just him and all the and he's like, you know what?

I like working with you girls better than I like working with those those guys.

That is so funny.

And it was fun.

It was really fun.

And I think most of those women now are have been there long enough.

They're like on day shift and they have the better positions now.

Because it was a union shop.

And so if you wanted a good position, you had to bid there and you had to be there a while and get seniority.

SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.

So what what do you feel like made made you like because you had an office job.

But I I take it that you you enjoyed this better than working inside an office doing what you were, or yeah, I I get bored easy.

SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00: I love it.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

So in my office job, that I had a very narrow parameter of things they would let me do.

And anytime something came along and I thought, oh, I can learn how to do that, then they would bring in some new young intern engineer person and give him whatever I was working on.

Well, we're gonna go ahead and let the new intern take care of that.

You just go back to doing that, doing your secretary things.

And and it was it was sexist.

It was very much a sexist office.

It was a man, it was a man's world.

It was logging and all the stuff, you know, that whole thing.

So and I have a brain.

I don't know if most people realize that, but but have brains and we can figure stuff out.

We can do all these things.

And I felt like I was very underutilized.

And I was young at the time and didn't really know how to advocate for myself and to really stand up and take on the things that I wanted to do.

So I kind of just, you know, went with the flow.

I was a people pleaser and and quiet and all of that.

And so I so I would just kind of get felt stuck in that place.

And I felt like the only thing I could do for myself was to leave.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: That was it.

So so that's what I did.

And and then being at the sawmill, the way you got a better job was being there for a while.

And we'd sign our bid postings, and if you had enough seniority, you'd get it.

And you didn't have to fight for your position.

You just got it.

Just by being in there and hanging around.

So that was easy.

And I did every job on that plant site shy of one or two.

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

SPEAKER_03: And there were lots of jobs.

So everything from pushing a broom in the sawmill to running a big machine with with big with a big band saw that would make those big round logs into square logs so that they could just run through another machine that looks I always call it like a um, it's like an egg slicer where you just run one, has a bunch of saws lined up and you one square log goes through and a bunch of boards come out the other side.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

And then and then everything like sorting all of those out and then driving the forklift and taking those loads out and bringing them over to the planer.

And then I ran the planer just I never really got good at it, but I could stay in there and watch the boards go by because it was highly automated.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: And and everything in between from there being a lumber grader, I was a lumber grader.

I ran the I did a position called Optimizer where your job was to control the speeds of the planer and the sorter and all of this.

It's it was high tech.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

And fast.

SPEAKER_03: Like we could run a million board feet in a shift.

What?

So fast.

That's incredible.

Yeah, so fast.

Wow.

And it helped because we had those very similar dimensions.

We didn't have a huge variety, so we could really get that thing cranking.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: And so and I could run the sorter, the stacker, I strapped the loads, I could put the loads away with the forklift.

I could load the trucks and the trains, everything.

And then when I left there, I was a supervisor.

So I ended up doing pretty much every job there.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

Wow.

Well, that's incredible.

You are you are just too stinking awesome, my goodness.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah, no.

I mean, that's just I mean, I'm just like, ooh, get it, Sheila.

I'm like, ooh, doing, you know.

Just bump everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So how long did you work there total?

SPEAKER_03: Goodness.

I started in 2001.

I left for a year.

I actually moved to Chicago for a year.

And then I came back in a couple years later.

I actually moved back to Portland after a year in Chicago.

And then my boss called me when they found that I was in Portland and asked me to come back.

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

SPEAKER_03: And because I had become a journeyman sawfiler, which meant I took care of the saws, which is critical.

And it's a job people don't even really know exists.

SPEAKER_01: Of course.

SPEAKER_03: You don't you think that, oh, you get this saw, you put it on there, and then you just run logs to it.

But those things get beat up and you have to take care of them.

So and saw filers were becoming rare.

It was one of those jobs that as sawmills were shut down, as logging became something that was not done by little small sawmills anymore.

It became very productive and you had to be very efficient.

So it was mostly big companies that were doing it at that point.

And they didn't need as many saw filers.

And yeah, it just wasn't it wasn't as sexy as being an electrician or something like that.

So we've kind of pretty much lived in the basement and we just came out and put saws on, and then we went back into our basement again.

SPEAKER_00: Exactly.

I gotcha.

I gotcha.

So so now talk to me about career transition because we're talking about something very, very different from the realm of coaching.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: I mean, I mean, in in so many different degrees.

I mean, not only workplace, but talking about working with, you know, employees, building things, literally creating stuff.

So, so walk me through the transition from sawmill to coaching.

Love it.

How that happened.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

So remember how I felt like a desk wasn't the place for me, and I felt like there was more for me in the world.

I I never lost that feeling, even through going to the construction and then going into the sawmill.

And every single one of those jobs I bid to was still me either trying to find a better shift or a better job.

Job, or this isn't what I really want to do.

There's more, there's more, there's more.

And so I just kept having that drive and that feeling.

So I started to volunteer for things at the sawmill that were above this or beyond the scope of my job.

Okay.

Things like helping new hires and helping be a mentor for them.

I took part in all of the safety programs there.

I became a forklift trainer.

I started teaching people how to drive forklifts.

Okay.

I became a chainsaw trainer.

I was teaching people how to use a chainsaw because a lot of people would come in, they're right from high school or fresh from college.

I don't even know what is a chain.

What channel do you hold?

You know, those kinds of things.

Exactly.

So I had to I helped them with that.

I helped create the chainsaw program that we did.

I helped revise the forklift training program.

It didn't the forklift training ended up becoming kind of my baby.

It was the thing that I created and I trained other trainers so that they could teach people, you know, how to how to drive a forklift.

I was really into teaching people and training them because I wanted them to have a good experience.

I wanted them to be safe.

I wanted the place that we worked in to be a good environment.

I wanted to have a huge impact on that.

And the thing is, is that I didn't realize how much of an impact I was having until I left and then I came back and I saw they were still using my training programs and they were still doing the things that I had taught.

And I thought, that makes me feel really good.

It's nice to know that these are working.

So that felt good.

And then I took on something that I was just dying to do, which was every time we bring in a group of new hires, we bring them in in a like a group of like 20, and they have a 60-day trial period where by the end of those 60 days, they have a give have to give a presentation.

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

SPEAKER_03: And we would sit them down and actually teach them how to do that, because lots of people had never given presentations.

I don't know how to give a presentation.

And I'm coming in to work in a sawmill.

Why do I need to give a presentation?

And mostly the whole idea was to see how well they worked as a team or if they followed directions well, if they were willing to participate.

You know, this was kind of a test of what kind of a person they were going to be, what kind of an employee they were going to be in the company.

And and plus, when they gave their presentation, we asked them to talk about the sawmill and what are they learning and share a little bit about themselves.

So it was this really great program that really helped you know who you were bringing on board and what their skills were, what they were contributing.

And I get got to teach them how to do those presentations.

And it was so much fun.

It was one of my favorite things to do there.

Why?

SPEAKER_00: Why that?

What was what was so appealing?

SPEAKER_03: Because I love helping people.

I love helping people step beyond what they think is possible for them.

And there were people that would cry.

They they'd give their presentation and they would say, Man, I didn't know that I could stand up in front of a group of people and share myself like that, or talk in front of them.

And they learn things about themselves that they didn't know when they came in there.

They thought, I'm just coming in to push a brain.

Exactly.

I didn't know it was going to be a personal growth experience.

SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.

But I mean, I have to say though, like in terms of a company taking that type of investment into their employees is really actually pretty powerful.

In the fact that you take somebody and I I look at that and I think, wow, talk about a way of getting more out of an employee by making them feel as though their meaning at this business is greater than the position they are coming in for.

You know, to show them that they matter, to show them that this, you know, we're investing in you by doing that.

I mean, because I've never heard of a company doing something like that.

You know, having somebody come in, starting out and be like, okay, but you know, we're doing this presentation.

I think that's I think that's pretty powerful.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Yeah.

It was great.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

And so so you got a lot out of that, of training them.

SPEAKER_03: I saw some things that I was capable of that I didn't know that I was capable of.

And and yet I still had that feeling of there's more, there's more for me.

And even those things that I was doing, I was still constrained by corporate rules and it was still horrible hours.

I still worked weekends, either late at night or early in the morning.

And being a supervisor gave me an opportunity to help people and talk to people.

But when you're in a corporation like that and they say, go coach your employee, it's not usually, you know, coach them to be a better person, have a better life.

It's more coach them so that they stop coming in late.

Exactly.

It's more fix the problem of this employee rather than let's let's raise this person up.

It it was more stop having that be a problem.

And that wasn't my favorite kind of coaching.

And I the turning point for me was I'll try not to cry, but I'm gonna.

The first time I had to fire somebody.

SPEAKER_01: Uh yes.

SPEAKER_03: And I I worked with him.

I I tried to help him, and he ended up going to a different ship.

And so he wasn't my direct employee anymore.

But unfortunately, the day that they decided, you know, this isn't gonna work, he needs to be fired.

I was the one there.

So I got to go and actually do the firing.

And I knew what his personal life was like.

I knew that he had a young baby.

I knew that, you know, he he was in the guard, you know, that like I knew all these things he had.

I also knew that he needed to show up to work and he needed to do his job and and those things weren't happening.

And so my boss sat me down.

He said, Sheila, sometimes letting people go is the best thing for them.

And and so I had to go into that meeting with that mindset that this could be a catalyst for him to have a better life.

And and I and I had that in the moment, and I just was just with him, and I saw him start to tear up and and I knew some of the conversations we'd had, and and it was still really tough.

It was really, really tough.

And I thought, this is not the kind of thing that I want to do.

I don't, I don't want to do this.

I I want to inspire people and motivate them and help them become a a greater version of themselves and help them excel.

I don't want them to feel like they're failing and that I'm I'm cutting them off and sending them away, you know.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

Yes.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

And and up until then, I had been trying to have like some kind of business on the side or do or do my own thing.

Because again, I was always like, what's more?

What's more?

And I had learned what coaching was.

I had had someone coach me on starting a business, and I'd learned about the coaching industry.

I found a podcast called The Life Coach School, and I've been listening to that and learning how to coach myself.

And I decided I wanted to be a coach.

So while I was still working there, I went and I got certified as a coach and tried using my skills at this corporation.

And that wasn't the kind of coaching they wanted.

They, in fact, they had hired me a coach, and that coach was uh, he would sit me down and we would have Grafts in charge of our my cruise production.

And I think that's not really the kind of coaching I'm gonna do.

I'm not an executive coach or or whatever kind of coaching that's considered.

I I knew that I wanted to help people improve how they thought about themselves.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: And how how they showed up for themselves and how they took on the world and how they saw the world.

Yes, that was what my jam was.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

It's one of those things, like it's just deep down in you, you kept having this nag, this nagging feeling, like, Sheila, just keep moving forward, keep moving forward.

And and I and I look at the story of that employee, and I think to myself, as much as that hurt, though, I think to myself, so many times we need doors to close to allow better doors to open.

You know, and and so even though that that really, if you think about it, that door closed for him, but it also really it closed for you.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: You know, as well, showing you that this isn't where I want to be.

So shut that door, let a new door open.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

And I got really clear on that when it was becoming, it was getting close to my mid-year review time, and I just didn't have the heart for it.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: I was um starting to get ready for it, and I thought, there's no goals I want to set here.

There's nothing I want to create.

And I felt I felt hollow about my job.

Yes.

I haven't said this out loud.

And it came time for my review, and uh I was preparing.

Well, actually, it was a week before.

And I had decided and told my husband, I'm going to I'm going to quit my job.

And I'd threatened that many times.

Yeah.

But he says, okay, pick a date.

And so I picked a date.

And the week before my review, which I was planning on giving my notice during my review instead of doing the review.

Okay.

But the week before, my boss sat me down and offered me a different supervisor position.

He offered me the job of supervising the shipping crew, which was like the Cush supervisor job there.

It was Monday through Friday, it was seven to three, it was cleaner, it was quieter.

You had a few forklift drivers, they're professionals, they know what they're doing.

There, you know, you you hardly ever have any issues.

All you have to do is keep them well supplied with what they need and just let them do their thing.

And oh man, that was the ultimate job there for me.

And I was, of course, this is gonna come up right when it's when I decide I'm going to quit.

And I said, Can I let you know?

And he said, Yeah, take your time, let me know.

And so when I came in for my review, I said, okay, I've decided that I'm not going to take it, and I am actually going to turn in my notice.

And we had a really great conversation.

And I really respect my former supervisor.

And by the end of our conversation, he said, Wow, you got me thinking that maybe there's something more for me out there that I should be doing.

And I said, Don't get me in trouble.

I don't want you quitting and getting me in trouble.

SPEAKER_00: So, but but Sheila, how I literally got goosebumps when you told me that about them coming the week before and offering you this promotion.

Because I sat there and I thought to myself, wow, how cruel life can be.

Testing us.

Yeah.

Letting you that final straw, how confident are you?

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: How much do you want this?

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the question that came up in my head.

Yeah, how much do I want to do this?

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: And and I didn't have a full coaching.

I, you know, I wasn't making much money.

And and I had a good salary there, good benefits.

And fortunately, I have a very supportive husband who said, well, we'll make it work.

This will be good.

We'll figure this out.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: He just knew that it was it was not good for it was not good for me to be there, you know, just to be in that space.

And it was a a really very negative space.

I mean, to be honest.

I mean, there there were great people there that were trying to do good work, and but then the majority were people who were just counting the days till they retire.

SPEAKER_00: Yep.

Yep.

SPEAKER_03: And that kind of energy, it wears you down.

It really does.

SPEAKER_00: Oh, tremendously, tremendously.

The the negative energy, positive energy uh emitted by by the people we're around, it's a true, it's a true thing.

You know how you can be in a room and you can be in the best mood you're in.

But if there's somebody in there with such negativity, it just radiates.

And so then to be in a work environment day after day when you're the kind of person inside of you, you're still knowing I'm made for more.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: And so then to have that.

So so talk to me about what you did.

What did you start doing after you you quit?

How did how did that whole new endeavor go into the realm of coaching?

SPEAKER_03: Well, the first two months I went into a total breakdown.

Oh no.

Oh no.

What am I doing?

Oh my gosh.

I don't know what to do with my day.

There was so there's like there was too much time and not enough time was the dilemma that I found myself in.

And it was scary.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: What the heck?

And and it was freedom.

I mean, I got to visit family.

I got to, I didn't have to check in with anyone before I went somewhere or took time for myself, any of that.

And yeah, there was a lot of Netflix.

There was a lot of now what?

And oh my goodness, what's happening?

And yeah, that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: Gosh, now I'm thinking, like, how like 2019 seemed so long ago, right?

Like it was like decades ago.

SPEAKER_00: Well, I I I think we can all say because of as soon as 2020 came, we feel like we feel like we kind of fell in a hole.

And it was a hole that we kind of feel like it it did weird things with time.

Like it feels like it went by like super fast.

But then when we look back and it feels like it was forever ago.

And at the same time, it's so yeah, I I totally understand what you mean.

Yes.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

I tell people that when I say last year, I mean somewhere around 2019.

SPEAKER_00: The last, the last year that that really existed.

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: Before the great vortex happened.

Yes.

Yeah.

And I remember 2019 was that year.

Remember, all the celebrities were dying in 2019.

It seems like that was the big like, oh, thanks, 2019.

You know, click another one.

Like that whole thing.

And we just thought how great 2020 was going to be.

SPEAKER_00: Oh, of course.

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Anyway, we could go off on that tangent all day long.

SPEAKER_00: Exactly.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

So so I it was an opportunity to really explore, like mentally explore.

And I there was like the roller coaster, and and I kept thinking, you know, I'm going to really work on my business.

This is really going to take off.

It's going to be really great.

What I didn't realize was how much I still needed to work on myself and my own beliefs.

And that I didn't know how to run a business.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: I I had my little fun side business thing, but you know, that was that was peanuts.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: So my new goal was to figure out how to run a business and to be completely transparent.

I'm still figuring that out.

I mean, that's still the thing.

And I feel like that that's kind of an ongoing thing.

Other coaches I've talked to, we all kind of believed that there was one way to do it, but now we're all discovering there are so many ways to have a coaching business and to coach people and work with people.

SPEAKER_00: I believe that's just literally called the world of entrepreneurship.

Entrepreneurship is an endeavor that we embark on, that we are willing to work double the amount of time for way less money than we made, all in this thing of chasing our passion and doing what we love.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

And it's worth it.

SPEAKER_00: And being exactly and being uncertain and in and living in life that's just this crazy, beautiful, mixed-up mess that we love because we're doing what we love.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

So so talk to me about falling in line with coaching and particularly about the type of coaching that you do.

SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_00: How did that come about?

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Yeah.

I I wasn't sure like who my ideal client was.

You know, you had supposed to pick a niche and you're supposed to do all that kind of stuff.

Like, oh, what's my elevator pitch and all of those things?

And and I got all hyper focused on that.

Instead of just going out and helping people.

So I kind of kept wavering back and forth.

Oh, I help.

I think at one point I said I was gonna I was helping women in male-dominated businesses, which, hey, I know, I know how to coach that.

Exactly.

I've been there.

So that was a thing.

And then I started the Facebook group called what was it called when I started it?

It was called Make Love, Not Drama.

And it was about not fighting and about, you know, being peaceful and loving.

And people thought it was a sex thing.

So people got into like, oh hey, I'll do that.

Love me in.

Yeah, yeah.

And then so I finally changed the name to the People Pleasers Revolution because I wanted to help people who were always people pleasing stand up for themselves and to show up as authentically themselves and all of that.

And like that became my jam.

And so I was just playing with all of these different things, and I still felt like I needed to learn more, that there was still some guidance I wasn't getting.

So that podcast that I had found, the Life Coach School, they had a school, they have a training, like it wasn't just their podcast, but they have a training.

It's it was founded by Brooke Castillo, and I wanted to go to that training.

To me, that was like the cream of the crop.

That was that was the best school to go to.

So I signed up for that.

And that school started for me.

That our my class started March of 2020.

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

SPEAKER_03: Wow.

And if you yeah, and if you have the opportunity to pick a place to be at the start of a pandemic, I suggest being in a coaching school or somehow surrounded by coaches or people that can help you, healers and therapists, or you know, somebody, Reiki, whatever it is you're into, get you know, get yourself immersed into that if there's gonna be something scary happening in the world, because I don't know what I would have done if not for that.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: Every week we met, we got coached, we coached each other, we supported each other.

I have new friends from that school that I talk to still every week.

And just that whole coach energy.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: Being people who are willing to look at their dark side and become friends with their dark side, but then also how can we move forward?

Like, what's the possibility for us?

What can we create?

What can we make happen in the world that's going to have a positive influence?

Yes.

It just does something to you and it and it just brings out the best and makes you want to step up and take your place with all the rest of the people who are doing great things.

And I just, oh, the energy of it is it's just incredible.

SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.

Yeah.

Wow.

So where did where did coaching, where did you fall in?

Who after the you know, the trials, the errors, what what is your expertise when it comes to coaching?

Who who wants to be like, I want to work with Sheila and no one else?

SPEAKER_03: That would be the people who are so concerned that their life is a mess and they can't fix it.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: Especially people who are in their second or third marriage and they're seeing the same problems come up that were in their previous marriage.

Oh no, here we go again.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: You know, either I picked the wrong person or I'm doing something wrong, or or the worst to me is when they think I am unlovable.

I'm never going to have someone that loves me.

And feeling very small.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

Yes.

SPEAKER_03: Those are the people I want to work with because I want them to see how magical they are, how amazing they are, how valuable that they are, and that their partner is lucky to have them.

And if it turns out they don't want to stay in that relationship, how great it can be to be out of it, how great it can be to be in it, you know, all of the things, the common denominator being that they are a worthy and valuable person.

And it just takes learning to see that.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

Yes.

So so do you find that you work with primarily just one person, or do you like actually will you work with couples?

SPEAKER_03: So that's been a kind of a debate that I've had with myself for a while because I truly believe that your relationship can be better when you change how you think about yourself.

Yes.

Because you learn how to set boundaries, you learn how to ask for what you want, you learn how to show up with your partner in a way that's more authentically you rather than holding back and waiting for your partner to change or expecting them to do things differently.

You actually take the lead and your partner will follow.

They'll either follow or they'll hate it in the least.

But you can be the catalyst for changing your relationship.

And I've been talking to my husband lately, and I said, you know, we could create something for couples.

So he and I do have some ideas and some things in the works for couples who both parties want to have an impact in the relationship.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: Which I think is great.

But I also know that there are a lot of people in a relationship, there are partners, like everything's fine.

What are you talking about?

We don't need to go to therapy.

We don't need to go to a counselor, we don't need any of that stuff.

And the other partner doesn't want to leave them.

They love them, they want to stay, they want it to work, but they they're miserable.

You know, they want it to be, they want their relationship to be different.

So that's been my focus is helping them have a great relationship, despite how their partner shows up.

But I think that having when when both people want to do it, I want to create space for that.

Because I have coached couples, but as individuals in a completely different like I coached one, and then when they were done, they had their partner came and coached with me.

Okay.

And then that's a lot of fun because I'm coaching the second person.

And they say things like, Oh yeah, now we have this thing.

If we start to argue, we say, What would Sheila say right now?

I love it.

And so it, yeah, it kind of takes them out of that mode and lets them like start to talk about what's going on, you know.

And I thought, you know, that's a skill that I could teach both people in a program.

So we're looking at doing something where we bring the couple in, but we don't coach them together.

We coach them individually.

And whether it's me doing the coaching or my husband, and and my husband's an amazing coach.

He didn't go to a school, he's not certified anywhere, but oh my goodness, he has the biggest heart and he's so good with people.

So we're looking at creating that.

So that's something that's probably gonna come out in the fall.

So if anyone's interested in that kind of thing, then they just need to get on my email list and and that information will come out.

SPEAKER_00: Well, wonderful, wonderful.

Well, I will be sure that the how to get on your email list is left in the episode show notes.

So please check that out.

But I have to ask I have two questions.

So the first question is though, for the person listening, how would you describe the difference between what you're doing with coaching with couples versus them going to a marriage counselor?

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

SPEAKER_00: Like Yeah, I yeah, I was just wondering, like, you know, how is there a way that you would kind of differentiate the difference between for somebody who's not familiar with with coaching, coaching versus counseling, uh what they may, you know, expect to the difference between the two.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

So I have been asked that a lot.

And I actually I didn't know what marriage counseling actually what they actually did.

So I thought, well, maybe I should maybe I should find out.

So my my previous husband and I, we went to a therapist together.

And it it seemed like the therapist would was always trying to find what was wrong.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: Like trying to find the problem and trying to like diagnose whatever was happening.

And she'd tell us things like, well, that what you're doing is polarizing.

Yes.

I'm like, okay.

Yes.

At first I had then I had to go look up polarizing.

That meant, but but every time at the end of the session, I I'd always felt like we just had more things to fight about.

Yes.

Like we found more things, more problems, more things that were wrong.

And and we were basically sent away with you're doing this wrong and you need to do it better.

Yes.

Was kind of how I felt.

And so, you know, whether that's what most people get from it or or not, that was my that was my experience.

And there are a lot of rules that therapists that certified psychotherapists and that licensed counselors have to follow.

Yes.

And so there's certain protocols that they follow, certain things that they do, whereas coaches don't necessarily have those restrictions.

And I feel like being able to have conversations with people to help them see what's possible for them.

You know, help them see what they can create is much more in their service than just telling them they're doing something wrong.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: And and I imagine that therapists would probably tell me, well, we don't sit around telling people what they're doing wrong.

But I know that there's not a whole lot of how are we going to move forward, how are we going to make things better.

It's more like getting like figuring out the problem and diagnosing it as some kind of mental incapacity or something like that.

Yeah.

And and coaching, gosh, there I have a list of what the things that coaching is great for, and my brain just went completely blank.

So let me just be with that for a second, because that's one of the things that coaching is really good at, letting you just feel uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

Exactly.

But but I would say by by listening to you, I would, I would venture to say that the coaching aspect is really working on, especially when we're talking about couples, of truly not just figuring out what the problems are, but more so focusing forward, focusing on helping each person become the best version of themselves.

And then that can be applied into their relationship, as with all aspects of life.

Would you agree?

SPEAKER_03: I would totally agree.

And to take it even one step further, the some of the things that I'm learning just in the last few months, because I'm in an advanced certification right now where we're learning how to help people stop numbing and buffering their emotions.

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

SPEAKER_03: The kinds of things that leads to over-drinking or overeating or over-netflixing or anything that's more than you want to be doing.

And that is allowing that we're not always going to be the best version of ourselves.

And allowing ourselves to be imperfect and be human and be in the struggle and giving ourselves some compassion and some room to do that, to be kind of stuck in it in the moment and experience all of the things that the human life has to offer.

You know, it's not all about joy, happiness, all that.

I mean, those are great, but it's also about pain and sorrow and grief and loss and, you know, the whole you gotta have both sides of the coin.

Yeah.

The full human experience is what matters.

Because what are we here for, right?

The the big meaning of question about life, like what's the meaning?

What's the purpose?

And I feel like the purpose is to experience life.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: You know, what whether you believe in an afterlife or whatever, like we were put on this earth in order to be human.

I think that's why human being is exactly a term.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I I love that.

And it kind of goes back to to a thing that that I often say of to me, the meaning of life, the true purpose here is to experience life, to build relationships, to to just live, you know, and do so to the best of our ability.

You know, what whatever whatever that means, you know, to to you is just living life.

And I think it's just a beautiful, beautiful way to look at life.

So Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: I think it's so easy to beat ourselves up.

Like I'm not doing as well today as I did yesterday, and thinking that that means something's wrong.

You know, there's so many uh experts out there for more efficiency, more productivity, leveling up, up, up all the time.

But that's not always the goal.

Sometimes the goal is just to relax, take a day off.

SPEAKER_00: Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Well, the the other question I wanted to ask you was do you believe that your own life's experience with relationships plays into you being the coach that you are?

SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes.

Absolutely.

And and the reason why is not because I can teach people, oh, well, in my experience, da-da-da-da-da.

It's more that I had to work through my own, my own trauma, my own triggers, all of those kinds of things.

I had to work through all of those, all of my own obstacles, so that I could hold a clean space for my clients who are going through that.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: And that I wouldn't find myself, the term we use is in the pool.

Like I'm not jumping in the pool of misery with them and suffering alongside them.

I'm on the side holding them and allowing them to do what they need to do or feel what they need to feel.

And I'm just a neutral space for them.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

SPEAKER_03: And they can experience whatever they're experiencing and not concerned that I'm going to get triggered or that I am going to somehow try to control what they have going on or change their experience in any way.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

I love it.

I love it.

Sheila, you're an absolute joy to talk to.

I I love your story of chasing your calling, chasing your passion.

We, you know, uh so many times we we hear people talk about it, but we just lived it with you of this experience of taking a chance, of you know, stepping outside of the comfort zone to experience what else is there.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: And and listening to you talk, it's quite evident that you've found where you're meant to be.

SPEAKER_03: Heck yeah.

I love it.

SPEAKER_00: Heck yeah, I love it.

I love it.

Well, well, Sheila, for those who are loving you as much as me and they want to, they want some more, Sheila, in their life.

Where can they find more?

Listen, I know you have a podcast.

Where is the best place for them to go to learn more about you?

Get on your mailing list, all the things.

SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.

Yeah, my podcast is called The Relationship Reboot, and it's on all the main podcast directories.

So that's pretty easy to find.

And then my website is SheilaMorgancoaching.com, and Sheila is spelled S-H-E-I-L-A.

Those are the best places to find me.

Yeah, I'm on Instagram, but it's hit or miss whether I'm posting there.

I'm definitely all over Facebook.

So Yes.

SPEAKER_00: Well, cool, cool, cool.

Well, perfect.

Well, I will definitely be sure that you the links to your info is left in the episode show notes.

And lastly, Sheila, just thank you.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to be here on the podcast, to share your story.

And like I said, a big part that I hope people take away from this is don't be afraid to make a change.

If you feel it in your heart, if something's nagging at you, take a chance.

SPEAKER_03: I love it.

SPEAKER_00: You know, and and I think you're a beautiful example of that.

So thank you.

SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Kevin.

It was an honor to be on your show.

I love what you're doing and the message that you're putting out there.

It's awesome.

SPEAKER_00: Well, wonderful.

Well, for you listening today, I can only imagine that you have totally been loving Sheila as much as I have.

Just another just beautiful ray of sunshine that we've had on the podcast, and who's just teaching us and reminding us what life is about and how what we have inside of us, our passion, our drive.

It's meant to be fulfilled.

We're meant to live this life for everything it's worth.

And I hope that this podcast episode today will be a reminder for you to do it.

And that's the Lowdown with Kevin Lowe.

I hope today's episode inspired you, motivated you, and excited you to get out and enjoy life, no matter what obstacles may be standing in the way.