Post-Traumatic Growth: Could Your Past Trauma Hold the Secret to a Beautiful Life?

Now, a lot of times, especially for people like myself, who are very positive people, the glasses always pretty much have full.

I tend to think back on the good memories in life.

And well, today we're gonna change things up a little bit because today we're gonna reflect back on some of the hard times, the tough stuff, the stuff that you honestly really rather not think about.

Yeah, that's right.

I'm going there.

I'm going deep.

I'm gonna have you going deep.

But I'm gonna explain why in just a moment.

Growing up, I used to always tell my little stepbrother, every time he would fall and get hurt, I'd say, ah, don't worry about it.

It builds character.

Yes, yes, that broken arm, don't worry about it.

It builds character.

And if nothing else, it makes for an awesome story down the line.

Now, today we're talking about more than just bumps and bruises and broken arms.

We're talking about the real stuff, the tough stuff, and the stuff that really leaves an impact on our lives, whether we believe it or not.

But here's the thing: I'm talking about the stuff that we would ordinarily say were things that happened to us that were bad, that were tough, that we wouldn't have wished on our worst enemy.

But here's an idea.

What if we flip the script?

What if just maybe all of those bad things were all actually working out for your good?

Now, trust me, I know.

I know that seems a little hard to believe, maybe even stupid, when we think of all the bad things that can happen.

But just hear me out for where I'm going with this.

Is that like I used to would tell my stepbrother about those bumps and bruises building character, I believe that the bad times that we go through, the tough stuff, I believe those build our character also.

More than just our character, they help to create us in to the people we become.

And for that reason, I feel it's so vitally important for us to not hesitate from going back to looking at our past.

Because kind of like some type of crime movie, maybe the secret that everybody's been searching for is in the past.

Yeah.

Think about your life.

Oftentimes the secret lies in the place where no one wants to go.

It's the deep dark corner, the past that we don't care to remember.

It's those places where I'm talking about this secret being, the key to your success in life moving forward.

I'm talking about the marriage that in your eyes you failed at because it ended in divorce.

I'm talking about that dream job you had that for one reason or another, you let slip through your fingertips as you were fired.

I'm talking about the marriage that you were in, the relationship that you were in that wasn't good.

It was an abusive relationship.

And yet you got out of it.

You are a survivor.

And yet, even though you survived, you certainly don't feel like it.

I'm talking about that split second decision you made that ended in a terrible accident, resulted in a life-changing injury that has impacted your life moving forward.

But as I said, what if you do let yourself go back and reflect on that period of your life and discover the secret that's lying inside?

Because I'm here to tell you that more times than not, the secret to your life is inside those dark places.

And I believe that secret is the key that's going to unlock a lifetime of beautiful and amazing wonders for you.

To better illustrate what I'm trying to say, I want to share with you three different scenarios, three situations, three real life stories that illustrate this idea absolutely perfect.

This idea that our past trauma could somehow be the key to our successes in our future.

The first story is my own.

The second story is of a client who I work with.

And the third, well, the third is really close though.

Because it's the story of my grandparents, my nana and poppy.

Each of these three stories are totally different from one another, and yet they're all common in the theme that they use the past to propel the future.

So here's a segment of my story.

Now, I will preface this by saying that to be honest, I feel like I've told my story so many times that you're probably already hitting the fast forward button.

Like heard it, done this.

But I have to remember that not everyone has heard my story.

And so that's why I want to share a piece of it with you today to illustrate the principle that I'm trying to teach.

It goes without saying that I would not wish what happened to me on my worst enemy.

Awaking from a surgery at 17 years old that was meant to save my life, to better my life, to instead find that in one way it kind of destroyed my life.

And the fact that I awoke to be left completely blind.

As a junior in high school with my dream truck, a life of possibilities, a life that I loved.

This was devastating because everything that I knew, everything that I had ever enjoyed, was taken from me in an instant, including any ideas or dreams I had for the future.

And I'll tell you, one of the things that impacted me the most, and to be honest, it still does today, almost 19 years later, is not being able to see the faces of my family, to not get to see my young cousins, now grown adults, not getting to see the face of my mom or my dad, my sister, my grandparents.

That's always impacted me the most.

But over time, I would learn to see the world differently.

Slowly but surely, I would learn that this world is made up of more than just what the eye can see.

I learned to see the world through my other senses, through experiencing the world, not just seeing it.

I've learned to see what my family looks like based on their personality, based on their voice.

And yeah, that distant memory I have of what they looked like now, almost 19 years ago.

But here's the truth of the matter.

What happened to me happened for a reason.

And I believe a good reason at that.

It allowed me to have a new perspective on life, to view people from a better view, to see people based on who they are, the words that they speak, not based on what they look like.

And that's really the principle of this very podcast.

It stems from this whole idea of getting to talk to people, to meet people and share their stories with you, all based on the words that they speak, the stories that they tell, not based on what they look like.

And then again, using what happened to me to help others, that's when I started being a coach.

Where now I'm really able to not just inspire you, but I'm able to actually empower you, encourage you by working with you one-on-one to overcome your own obstacles, to jump over your own challenges, and figure out ways in which you can make good out of what was supposed to have been bad.

And ultimately, the hard times that I had, the sleepless night spent sobbing into my pillow, the countless unanswered prayers for God to let me wake up and see again.

But that paired with the triumphs made along the way, learning to live again, to love life again, have all shaped and molded me into the man that I am today, which I believe is a better man than I ever would have been if I hadn't gone through this experience.

The biggest realization for me came when I thought to myself, wow, maybe all that I've been through has been worth it.

If I'm able to help just one other person get through their hard times.

And for me, that's how I found the most use out of this bad situation.

It's the way that I've been able to make good out of the bad, is by turning it around and using it to help others.

Something that I'm able to do only because of what I went through.

Now, I want to shift gears and I want to tell you the story of one of my coaching clients.

Without telling you her name, I want to explain to you her situation.

Her life, much like my own, was rocked by medical issues.

No, she didn't have anything as dramatic as waking up from surgery to be left completely blind happen in an instant.

But instead, it's been years.

It's been a lifetime of challenges, of constant ups and downs due to this complex and rare medical situation.

The impact on her life is just as traumatic as me going blind was on me.

It's different, yet ironically, the same.

With this medical condition, she's not stopped living though.

Yeah, it makes it hard, but she's kept going.

She got a job that she enjoys.

She loves it at times, hates it at times, just like all of us.

But the truth of the matter was that she was just going through the motions.

Finally, one day, she stopped and she took stock of her life and realized that even though she enjoyed her job, it's not where her passions were anymore.

She realized that she was missing something in her life.

That she was supposed to be doing something more in some way, giving back, doing something for others more than just what her job could allow.

But she was left dumbfounded.

But what is it?

What do I do?

And as you may have guessed, the secret, the answer, well, it lied in the very medical issues that she's been battling her entire life.

And so we look at this and we think to ourselves, so you're telling me that the struggles that she endures, has endured her entire life that have impacted her in so many negative ways could possibly be used for good?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

She has been dealing with this for so long, for basically her entire life.

She's done so much research, gone to so many different doctors, been through it all, been to the hospitals, been all over the country to different doctors trying to figure out not only what was wrong with her, but how to fix it.

So to say that she's gained her own medical degree through experience would be an understatement.

Well, she finally realized that you know what?

Maybe I could start being a help to somebody else, to other women who are undergoing the same issues that I have been.

So that's where I have helped her to take what she'd been doing inside of Facebook groups and instead turn it into one-on-one results where she's working as a coach.

That's right.

I, her coach, have helped her become a coach herself.

Now, she still has her normal job, but she does the coaching on the side.

And it's something that she's not looking to make a full-time career out of, but instead to just help to give her life an extra boost of purpose.

And at the end of the day, she's able to help others.

And in turn, it helps her.

And that's what this is all about.

So I would look at you and say, is there something that you've been plagued with your entire life that you know so much about that you could now turn it around to help someone else?

Think about it.

Maybe you could be like this woman who's now using such a bad thing to be so amazing to so many others.

The last example really hits home.

And that's because it's the story of my grandparents.

The story of my nana and papa, a beautiful woman, a handsome man, both came from their own bad situations.

You could say that both of these people were just trying to survive, just trying to do life when their lives had the two of them connect with one another.

This woman, she had two very young children, and she was young herself, moved away from her hometown, living in a new place.

Yeah, she had family, but it was all new to her.

Running away from a broken home, from broken dreams in pursuit of something better.

And yet the future was uncertain.

The man, well, he was a young man himself, just trying to live life.

He came from a broken home himself.

And yet the two of them would find each other.

And the two of them would go on to fall in love.

They would become husband and wife.

They would go on to live a good life, raise a good family, raise their children, raise their grandchildren, create a family dynamic in which they are the center.

A family dynamic that isn't full of hurt.

It's not full of disappointment.

It's full of love.

That they built a place where everybody wants to come home to because they would be there for their family always and forever.

My grandfather, he's the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back.

My grandmother, she's the woman who would give you the food off her plate.

I would like to say that these two, they created a masterpiece out of a pile of rubble.

They didn't fall victim to their circumstance.

They didn't allow the trauma of their childhood to bring them down.

And they certainly didn't allow the trauma that they endured growing up to influence the way in which they raised their own family.

Well, I guess you could say they did, but they did the opposite.

They made sure to shower their family with love.

Husband and wife, parents, and then grandparents.

When I look at my grandparents, my nana and papa, I think to myself, wow, am I man enough to have done what they did?

I don't know.

They're pretty darn amazing.

My grandfather is one incredible man, and my grandmother is one absolutely phenomenal woman.

The two of them are a beautiful example to me that our past never has to dictate our future.

That we are the ones in control of our future.

And it's up to us to make the decisions, to be determined, to live this life how we want to live it.

In essence, I want you to remember that you have a choice.

You can allow your past troubles, your challenges, the obstacles, the hurt, the heartache to bring you down.

You can allow that to be a sore spot in your past.

You can allow it to be a dark spot that you never go back to, a chest that never gets opened.

Or you can instead open your heart, open your mind, explore it, figure out hey, you know what?

How was I able to overcome that?

What did I do to get through it?

And is there any way that I can use any of this to now be the guiding light for my future?

I would hope that today's episode inspires you to think about it.

And if you would like help in exploring this a little bit more, to discover is there anything really about my past that could truly light my way forward?

If you want help with that, I'm going to invite you to book a call with me.

Let's sit down and let's explore your past.

Let's look at the stuff that you've overcome, the stuff that you've dealt with, the bad stuff, the good stuff, all the stuff.

And let's figure it out and see: wow, is there some piece that you're missing?

Some golden key that you've not been able to see before.

But now, through working with me, through us having a conversation together, see if you can't see that golden ticket now, that golden key to unlock the chest that's going to open a world of opportunity for you from this day moving forward.

If you would like to book that call, please be sure to look inside of today's episode show notes, where I will be sure that there is a link for you to access my calendar.

And let's get that on the books.

I would love to meet you, to talk to you, and see if we can't discover together what about your past is going to propel you forward.

Thank you for joining me today for another episode here on The Lowdown with Kevin Lowe.

As always, I hope today's episode has somehow inspired you, empowered you, encouraged you to get out and take on the day every day, and no matter what obstacles or challenges stand in your way.

Have an incredible day, and until next time, this is the Lowdown with Kevin Love.