When Love Can't Fix It: A Mother's Story of Heartbreak, Hope, & Holding On

Today is episode 469.

And today I'm actually going to be releasing an episode way back from 2021.

This originally was episode 61, in which I was fortunate enough to have literally my best friend in the studio with me.

That, of course, being my mom Teresa.

And today I'm re-releasing my interview with my mom because this week is the big anniversary week.

The anniversary of when my life was saved, but also, of course, the same anniversary of the day that I became completely blind.

Today is October 27th.

Tomorrow, October 28th, is the 23-year anniversary of when all of this went down back in 2003 when I was just a 17-year-old kid who thought I was going into surgery to simply have a brain tumor removed.

I thought everything was going to be fine.

The reason I'm re-releasing this specific episode is well for the simple fact that I hope that if you're listening today, then maybe you could use not somebody talking to you with this sense of inspiration and motivation, but maybe somebody just sitting with you.

Because maybe you're a parent, you're a father, a mother, and uh you have a child who's hurting, and you're dealing with the pain that you can't fix it because there's some things that you can't make all better and you're struggling.

Well, I hope that today this conversation with my mom, I hope it can connect with you.

So I hope you enjoy it.

I hope you get something out of it, and I hope you stay until the very end because I've attached a song that I have written and produced a little while back, but feel it is so relevant to today's episode.

And the song is titled When a Mother Hits Her Knees.

So stay tuned to the very end, and you can hear that song at the end of my conversation with my mom.

So, with that said, my friend, I really hope that you get something out of today's episode.

I hope that something said by my mom is exactly what you need to hear.

So, until next week, I'm your host, Kevin Malow, and this is my interview with none other than my amazing mom.

Mom, welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Kevin.

I'm a bit nervous, but uh excited to be here.

SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm so thrilled to have you here, Mom.

I feel like for any fellow podcasters listening to today's uh episode, if you're kind of worried about pitching to guests, if you feel uncomfortable about it, I must uh suggest going ahead and trying to convince your mom to come on your podcast.

Because if you can do that, then I promise you, you can you can pretty much get any guest you could possibly want.

Because if your mom's anything like mine, it took a little bit more than arm twisting to get her on here, wouldn't you say, Mom?

SPEAKER_02: Yeah, more like pulling teeth.

unknown: All right.

SPEAKER_03: Perfect, perfect.

Well, mom, I'm super excited that you did finally say yes and willing to come on here because I feel like so many times I get to share my side of my story.

And especially here it is, the 18th anniversary of kind of when when I say my story kind of, you know, really stopped and began.

And I feel like, you know, and I always tell everybody that, you know, my family is is the part that plays a huge role in my story.

And so I'm excited to get to interview you today on what this anniversary, you know, kind of means to you.

So uh thank you.

You're welcome.

All right.

So wonderful.

So, mom, I guess the first thing that I would like to start with is, you know, we never know who could possibly be listening to this podcast.

And I feel like, you know, maybe some something about this could help somebody.

And so I would love for you as a as a mother to explain to people listening what was going on with me back 18 years ago that made you think that something wasn't quite right.

SPEAKER_02: Well, it actually goes further back than that because I knew something was wrong, probably from the time you were in middle school.

However, I had a pediatrician that I totally trusted and believed in.

And therefore, I just continued to let them basically tell me that there wasn't anything wrong.

SPEAKER_03: So what were kind of some of the symptoms that I was having that you thought something wasn't right?

SPEAKER_02: A big flag was your growth.

You you weren't growing like a teenage boy should grow.

Your eyesight was not getting any better, even with correction glasses.

Your vision continued to get worse.

And you also had headaches every day of your life.

Those were probably the things that flagged me as well as your weight gain.

You were gaining weight, but not growing.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Yeah.

I always remember the weight gain, as I always remember the doctor always claimed that I must be a closet eater to explain the weight gain, even though we said that I didn't eat much.

SPEAKER_02: Yes, I remember that was a very frustrating doctor visit for me because I knew your eating habits and knew that you were not a sweet eater.

You weren't a huge eater at all, and you definitely weren't a closet eater.

And they just basically wouldn't listen to me and just said that that had to be, and you just needed to stop eating and lose weight.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Yeah.

So now, and I and I kind of feel like it's kind of an important life lesson that that I feel fortunate now that we can share with people is even if you're going to the quote unquote best doctor there is, to trust your own instinct.

SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.

I kept knowing there was something wrong.

I kept going to different specialists about different issues that you were having, but none of the doctors pieced it together.

It was like everything was separate, but nobody would put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

And yes, I would always tell people if your gut instinct is that there's something wrong and you're not getting the answers, even if it is supposedly the best doctor around, go get another opinion.

SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.

Absolutely.

So now at what point then, mom, did things change that we did finally get a doctor to listen to us?

SPEAKER_02: It was kind of a blessing, I believe, at the time my my husband's insurance had changed.

And therefore, we needed to change doctors.

So I decided to just go ahead and move you to a family practice doctor since you were 16.

And that doctor listened to me and immediately told me there was an issue and I needed to get you to a pediatric endocrinologist immediately.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Yeah.

And now fast-forwarding a little bit from that point, because you know, from that point, it kind of seemed like things started moving really quick.

And that's when we had the MRIs and got scheduled for an MRI and all that.

And I would love for you, mom, to tell everybody about the phone call you received from the doctor and what the results of the MRI.

SPEAKER_02: Well, I'll back up just a second because there were actually two different times.

The one time, the very first was we went to the pediatric endocrinologist, and he immediately asked me the symptoms, and I told him all the symptoms that I could think of from the time you were young.

And his first response to me was that humans don't grow in the way that your growth chart had showed.

He also immediately told me that he suspected that you had a brain tumor.

I didn't want to believe that.

I think in my heart I knew he was right, but that's at the point that he told us that he wanted us to go home, get an MRI.

And he said, and I don't mean next week, next month.

He said, I mean immediately get an MRI done.

And so that's what we did.

And then fast forward to the MRI coming back.

Actually, I believe we had the MRI done.

And then I was driving down the road on my way home from work.

And at the time we we had a boat and we're going up to St.

Augustine for the weekend to stay on the boat.

And everybody was at home getting ready.

I was on my way home from work, and the surgeon actually called me and had me pull over and told me that it was definitely a brain tumor and it was bigger than they thought.

And we needed to get in right away.

And I'm sorry, actually, that was the endocrinologist.

And he told me that he had the surgeon waiting, even though it was after five o'clock.

He had their office waiting for me to call to get an appointment to be able to come in immediately.

And I I remember pulling over, and I just remember sitting in my car and sobbing and not knowing what to do.

SPEAKER_03: Now, at that point, though, I mean, because I think most of the time when we hear of a tumor, a brain tumor, we think cancerous.

Did they tell you right then that it wasn't cancerous?

SPEAKER_02: No, they didn't.

I believe at some point they told us that they didn't that those type of tumors usually aren't cancerous, but they wouldn't ever give us a definitive answer on that until they actually did the surgery.

SPEAKER_03: Oh, wow.

Wow.

Now, do you remember, because I remember faintly, but do you do you remember when you actually gave me the news of the results of that MRI?

SPEAKER_02: I do.

We actually went on up to St.

Augustine, and you were sitting at the table in the boat looking at a magazine, and I sat down and told you what had happened.

And you immediately started crying.

And you actually ended up, uh, Nana and Papa ended up coming up to St.

Augustine and picking you up and taking you back with them for the night.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was gonna say, because I can't, I can't remember like the moment you told me, but all I remember was at some point getting so upset.

And I remember climbing out of the boat, getting up on the dock, and I remember like running up to the top of the marina where there was the railing, and I just can remember standing there staring out at the marina.

Yeah.

Just kind of at like a loss.

So now from that point, from the time that we found out that I had a brain tumor, how long was it between then and when we actually had my surgery?

Do you remember?

SPEAKER_02: When I found out that was a Friday night, and if I remember correctly, I believe we went to the surgeon that the beginning of that week, I believe.

And the surgeon showed us the MRI results and explained what type of surgery would be needed.

And he actually had an opening the next morning because something had canceled, and we could go ahead and get you in, which I wanted to do that.

I wanted to do that and get you fixed right away.

But you were adamant that you did not want to do it that day.

And the only other opening that he had was two weeks later.

And I was very upset about it because I didn't want to wait.

But he finally pulled me aside and told me that two weeks really would not matter.

And that if it was that important to you to just let you wait.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

And I think it's important to note at this point, too, is devastating and as upsetting as all this was, at the same time, we were kind of reassured by by the doctors and stuff that, you know, everything was going to be okay.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

It was supposed to be basically a surgery where you were in and out fairly quickly, and then you would be back to school in like three weeks or something.

It was a very short time frame that they expected that you would be back to school and this would solve a lot of your issues.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Yeah.

So now, and at this point too, I have quite the sense of humor.

If you, if you've been listening to this podcast for any length of time, hopefully you've picked up on that.

And I will tell you that in my mind, I viewed all of this as something pretty cool after, of course, the shock of it all.

Because for me, that meant that I got to get out of school for a few weeks.

And I also went as far as I named my tumor.

I named my tumor Bob.

And we actually, I guess it was during that two-week span when we actually had a big uh going away Bob party, right, Mo?

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

I I don't remember exactly when we had it, but yes, um, your Aunt Kelly and Uncle Mike hosted the party at their house, and we had all the relatives there, and it was just a fun, happy time.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.

So now, fast forwarding two weeks, it's day of surgery.

We're already over there.

We had had to check in the day before at the hospital.

Do you remember that morning?

SPEAKER_02: I do.

I remember when they came to get you very early, and your dad and I walked back with you, and you were like in the waiting area, the holding area, whatever.

And you were kind of getting a little bit punchy with your because they were starting to medicate you.

But I took your little glasses off and we kissed you.

And I remember the the surgeon came in and I remember him saying good morning.

And you said that you had something along the lines you had hoped he had his Cheerios because he was up late the night before, because he had been doing some tests on you, and he was up so early.

So you you were because he said, How are you?

I believe.

And you said the question is, How are you?

Um I think maybe at that point he realized what a sense of humor that you you did have.

And I will say this, they they did warn me that with these types of surgeries, there are many, many times that the patient does have personality changes.

And I will say that that is one of the biggest blessings that God gave me is that it did not change your personality at all.

You were still the happy-go-lucky kid.

You were, you were just full of life as always.

And that was a blessing because I I could not have handled it if you had changed.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.

I can I can even remember when we when we were learning about all the possible risks and stuff associated with the surgery.

And I remember that was something that really kind of upset me was the the thought that that could be a reality of coming out of surgery as kind of a different person.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

Uh yeah.

That was really probably the only worry at that time that I really had.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Now, do you recall how long I was in surgery for?

SPEAKER_02: I believe that the surgery was six or seven hours.

I know that we had so much family and friends there that they just gave us an entire waiting room.

And I believe there was about 25 of us all there the whole day waiting and praying for you and for the surgeon.

And yeah.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Now, mom, do you remember then?

So I come out of surgery.

And do you remember kind of, you know, what what happened then?

Because, you know, things at that point kind of didn't start going as well as everyone thought they would go.

SPEAKER_02: Well, I was really glad that you and I had met with a mom and a son that had already been through this.

And she gave me a few tips on things to not let frighten me.

She said that you would probably be intubated and you would have, you know, bandages and all kinds of stuff, and not to worry about that, not to let that scare me because that was typical.

I remember that she, one of the things that she also told you was not to worry if you couldn't see right away, because they would have actually like patches on your eyes and stuff.

And to this day, I believe that that's part of why you weren't afraid when you did wake up because and couldn't see, because I think that was probably in the back of your mind.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, of course.

So now at what point then, like how long was it when I came out of surgery that you guys realized that I couldn't see?

SPEAKER_02: Well, first of all, I do want to give a shout out to Arnold Palmer Hospital.

That was where the surgery was done.

And I will say, like with all 25 people, when they wheeled you out of surgery, they allowed all 25 of us at one time to go down that hallway and be able to see you rather than trying to let people come one at a time.

They just did it as a group.

And that way everybody got to see you and know that you were okay.

And, you know, a lot of them then, of course, at that point went home.

But after that, you were in recovery for quite some time, but you were still pretty much sedated.

And when you got into the room, you were still intubated and you started coming out of it.

And that's when they removed the tube and everything.

And I believe it was, and it had probably been just a day or so after the surgery.

I I really can't remember exactly, but I remember the night and the nurse had come in and was trying to calm you down because you kept taking the pulse oxidors off.

You hated those and you you just kept removing them.

And so they were, he was telling you, this nurse, that he was trying to show you the light, and he was saying, This light has to stay on.

This has to be on your finger, you have to keep this on.

Do you see the light?

And you were like, No.

And he's like, No, the light right here.

And you said, No, again, I don't see any light.

And I remember looking up and locking eyes with that nurse in pure terror.

And he turned the light on in the room at that point and was asking what you saw.

And then he started checking your eyes.

And you just kept saying, Oh, it's just gray.

It's, you know, I just it's just gray.

And and you were still so out of it that we were, you know, really trying to make sure that you couldn't see.

And he immediately left the room and called, called the surgeon's office to let them know that there was an issue with the eyesight.

SPEAKER_03: Now, do you remember then when when the actual the the pediatric neurosurgeon when do you remember the first time then he came to the hospital then?

SPEAKER_02: And after that, I mean I believe it was the next morning, that morning, that was late at night, and he came in the next morning and just was kind of in disbelief himself.

I believe it was a little bit later in the day that day he was sitting outside your room and he was doing notes at a little desk, and I had a breakdown.

And I I went out of your room and just slid down the wall in the hallway and was sobbing.

And I somebody, and I don't know who it was, it wasn't a nurse, but came up to me and sat with.

Me hugging me, and I was saying, I just didn't expect this.

And I looked up, and the doctor had a tears rolling down his face, and he said, Neither did I.

And I will always be appreciative of the sympathy, empathy that he did have.

SPEAKER_03: I feel like a doctor is high up as a pediatric neurosurgeon.

You know, a lot of times I think we think of them as having that godlike complex.

And I can tell you that that man is the most human, most real person that I've ever met.

SPEAKER_02: Yes, he's he's a very humble person.

I know the last time that we had to go to him for a checkup, I actually asked him, how many other patients did this happen to?

And I mean, this has been, you know, I don't know, maybe 12 years later or something.

And he said, one.

And I said, Oh, you had one other one.

And he said, no, just one.

He to this day said he really didn't know why.

They could only surmise that the optic nerves were already dying.

And then when they removed the tumor, it just kind of maybe had been circulating through the tumor.

So it was a very devastating time.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.

So now I ended up, you know, now remember when we say that, you know, nothing went like we we thought, because, you know, going into the surgery, you know, we thought, of course, had no idea that I would become blind that was never even in the equation.

And, you know, we said in three weeks I'd be back to school.

But but I stayed in the hospital for about two weeks after surgery, right, mom?

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

You you actually were in the intensive care for quite some time.

It was only probably maybe a week and a half into it that they put you in a regular floor room.

And they did not have a lot of experience in this type of thing happening.

And I remember that they kept wanting me to go look at like rehab facilities to put you in.

And so they gave me names of them.

And during the day, I I went out and looked at a couple of them.

And I said, No way.

I'm, you know, I don't understand why my son needs to even go there.

They actually had people in, they were actually gonna try, like they felt almost like they had to remove you from my care just because you were blind.

And I remember I got really mad about that.

And I remember I I didn't really realize how close that was to happening until a lady came in and told me that they had decided that you could go home with us because we had so much family support that there would always be people there to help us.

SPEAKER_03: And I think like what's so crazy is I mean, we're talking about 2003.

Yes.

We're not talking about, you know, in back in, I don't know, the early 1900s or something.

And so I find it just that whole thing I find just totally shocking to me that the whole blindness thing was, I don't know, that that that they really and truly didn't know what to do with me and thought I needed to go into a home.

SPEAKER_02: Right.

And and it's funny because of course we were we were aware that we had a blind services in our area and that that would be, you know, what you would need.

But but I was actually kind of in, I think from the moment it all set in, I was simply in survival mode.

I was on the phone all the time trying to figure out what we needed to do.

How could we help you?

What I remember getting in contact with the line school in Jacksonville, or I'm sorry, St.

Augustine.

And we actually did end up taking you there just for a tour of it.

But it was just, I believe I was just in survival mode and and trying to do everything I could to make your life better.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you were being a mom.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Now, do you remember, do you remember the first day that we came home from the hospital?

SPEAKER_02: I do.

And I also remember, though, when they told me that we were gonna be going home, you were being discharged.

I was in full-blown panic mode.

I was terrified.

You had to have so many medications and shots given and everything that the tumor was a pituitary tumor.

So it killed everything that our bodies just know to do.

Your body had to have medications to make it do those things.

And I was just absolutely terrified because I didn't know how in the world I would take care of you because the hospital had been pretty much doing all of that stuff.

And it was the nurses that let me know that we would be fine.

That if there was anything that went wrong, we just go to the hospital.

It wasn't a big deal.

So the day I remember we rode home with Nana and Papa in the van.

And I remember you basically cried the whole way home.

And so did I.

And it wasn't a joyful homecoming.

It was a very scary, scary time.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no doubt.

No doubt.

No, I think like at that point, and I think for for a long time after, after that, and I think it, I think it differed for a lot of people in the family as far as what was gonna happen.

You know, because there were, you know, like we said, we we had no idea that this was going to happen.

We didn't understand why I became blind.

And so, you know, and we live in in this era when everything is fixable.

And, you know, and so I know there were members of the family who immediately went into to research mode and everybody trying to find somewhere in the world that that could fix this to make me see again.

SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, everybody did.

Everybody was was searching, and and we, of course, went to many different eye doctors and stuff hoping to get a different answer.

And it it took a long time to accept that there wasn't a fix to this.

And I think that's one of been one of the hardest things for me as a mom is that I couldn't fix this and I still can't fix it.

Because as parents, that's what we want to do.

We want to fix things for our kids.

And I haven't been able to do that.

But I do believe that God has his hands in this, and I know that this has happened for a reason.

And I think if nothing else, it's been that you have given so much joy and hope and positivity to so many people, that's how they know you.

And I know that you'll see again whether it's here or in heaven.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Now, before we move too far past, you know, talking about the time in the hospital, I feel like it has to be said in the fact of, you know, when I talk about my family playing this monumental role in my story in my life, I feel like, I feel like there's no greater example of that than when I was in the hospital.

And and now, mind you, that entire time in the hospital, I don't have any memory of it after going into the operating room.

From that point forward, I have no memory of the hospital whatsoever.

Yet it was such this huge moment in my family's, you know, kind of experience with it all of taking care of me.

And I feel like have to give a little bit of bit of credit to just all the members of my family for being there in the hospital.

SPEAKER_02: Yes, actually, despite the blindness, putting the blindness aside, there were so many medical issues going on.

And at one time, you became very combatative.

They didn't understand, you know, what was going on.

We finally did figure out it was your sodium levels were so messed up and they hadn't been able to bring them in right, but you were extremely combatitive.

You thought you were trying to pull out all the wires, trying to pull out the drain from your head.

You were, you were just like a crazy person.

And we literally chose to take 15-minute turns, and we had four people on each rotation, and we would hold you down and keep you from pulling out all the stuff because the other option was they were going to restrain you.

And we didn't want that to happen.

So all the family members just from both sides of the family stepped it up.

And I can remember your dad and the uncles and the male friends, and they would be trying to hold you down.

And you were very, for some reason, you were like extremely strong during this point in time.

And I can remember watching tears roll down all these big guys' faces as they were holding you down so that we didn't have to have you restrained.

And then, but it was so physically demanding and emotionally that literally we could only do it for 15 minutes at a time.

And so that's what we did.

I mean, I remember you were so strong at one point, you reached up, grabbed your dad by the neck, and actually lifted him off his feet, which was amazing because you were a little guy at that point.

You you weren't the big guy that you are today.

But I will be forever grateful to everyone that was there for us and and helped because it was the most horrible time of my life.

SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.

Absolutely.

I would love to ask you, mom, you know, if somebody's listening to this podcast today and, you know, we we all go through challenges in life, we all face adversity.

And do you, though, from a mother, maybe talking to another, another parent, do you have anything like piece of advice, something that you would just tell somebody if if maybe they're going through something with their child in a situation like this?

Is there anything that you feel that you could share with them to help them?

SPEAKER_02: I'm not really sure.

I think I think the most important thing is just being there for them.

And if they're sad and they're crying, let them be sad and cry.

And then they will come out of it and then just try to find laughter, try to try to find the joy as little as it may be.

Just try to find that and still just live life with them.

Just live life to the fullest and just be there.

That's probably the most important thing is being there.

SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.

Absolutely.

It's really amazing to me that we can have this thing that happened now 18 years ago, which doesn't really even seem quite possible yet as we talk about it, how just the emotions can come right back.

SPEAKER_02: Yes, they definitely do.

And I'm one that I honestly try not to think of a lot of things very often because it is still an open wound.

And I don't like to be sad and cry about it because I am ever so thankful that God kept you here.

There was another boy in the hospital, his name was John.

He had the exact same thing wrong with him, and he never came home.

And sometimes I feel guilty when I'm upset that my son has all these medical issues still and blindness on top of it.

But then when I think about my friend and the fact that she doesn't have her son at all, it makes you thankful.

SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.

I think I think any any time that any of us go through any troubles in life, you know, I think I think the greatest thing that we can take out of it is to just be grateful and to be thankful for the little things and at the same time having compassion for those because there's always somebody who has it worse.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

And I I think that that's a very great gift that you have and the fact that you do always think about other people, even minute things.

We haven't mentioned it, but Kevin does have an older sister.

She is five years older than him.

She is actually a pediatric nurse.

And she went into the pediatric intensive care field because of what happened with Kevin.

And she actually worked at Arnold Palmer for many, many years.

But I remember when it was happening, she was going through nursing school.

And I remember clearly at the hospital her telling Kevin things like, you know, I I prayed that it that God would take it from you and give it to me.

And I remember Kevin looked over towards her and said, Sister, you couldn't handle this.

And then I remember when we got home, and and Kevin has always been my happy, happy kid.

And I remember Tiffany was upset one day because her, it seems like it was her hair wasn't quite right or something.

And I remember telling her, you know, if if Kevin can put a smile on his face every morning, I think we can at least try.

And I didn't realize it until later.

And Kevin came to me and he told me he was very upset.

And he told me that he never wanted to hear me say something like that again, that her problems were as big to her as his were to him.

And talk about making a mom feel like she's as big as an aunt, but that's that's the type of person that Kevin is.

And we are very thankful to God for leaving him the way he is.

SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.

Well, mom, I know I had to bust you out of your show a little bit to come come on the podcast, but um, I want to thank you.

It means so much to me that you did this for the simple fact that I I hope and pray that us sharing this by you sharing your your perspective of my story, that it can help somebody.

So thank you.

SPEAKER_02: I do too.

I always hope that other people don't have to go through what we did.

SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And for you listening today, I want to thank you as always for supporting the podcast.

And, you know, I I know today's episode was was a little bit somber, um, wasn't so uplifting and positive.

But, you know, I think the the truth of the matter is, is, is, you know, we all go through tough times.

And and on this episode's release coming out right at the 18th anniversary of of, you know, when when both my life was saved, as well as the marking the day that I became blind, you know, it's it's a lot of mixed feelings.

But you know, we all go through stuff.

I just hope that by my mom sharing her story, it can help somebody.

And, you know, as always, you know, the goal of this podcast is to to be a source of of positive energy, to to lift you up and and to remind you that, you know, we all are blessed in so many ways.

And you know, I can only hope that today's episode can can help you or help someone you know.

So thank you again, and I look forward to seeing you next week.

SPEAKER_00: I used to be the one who could always make it better.

Band aids and whispered prayers made the world feel safer.

This is something love can reach, and I don't know how to breathe.

I'd take it all if I could.

God, I swear I would When a mother hits turn, it's not turned, it's that you stay, it's the heart, it's great, don't need to.

They don't care the style.

They don't know.

They don't know the way it feels like, it comes down to the heartbreak.

It all stands up on my face, but we need on the side of the pleas.

And I fell up with that.