442: The Hardest Part Isn’t What Happened… It’s Letting Go of the Life You Imagined

Kevin Lowe: Hopefully, you're having a great day.

Kevin Lowe: And if I have it my way, Well, your day will certainly be a little bit better after listening to today's episode.

Kevin Lowe: Now, quick announcement before we dive into today's topic, And that is the simple fact that if you are not already following the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Kevin Lowe: I want you to do so.

Kevin Lowe: So if you are somebody who are listening just on your computer through the website, maybe through the monthly newsletter I send out, be sure that you open up your phone, pull up either Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and click that little follow button at the top of the page where you see the podcast, Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

Kevin Lowe: Yes, the podcast you're listening to right now. And the whole reason is so that you can get notified each week when a new episode is released.

Kevin Lowe: Every Tuesday morning, this podcast is dropping a new episode in your lap, ready to help you in your day.

Kevin Lowe: So do yourself a favor and yes, do the podcast a favor as well.

Kevin Lowe: by being sure that you start following the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or whatever listing app you prefer.

Kevin Lowe: Now, I always think that every topic I talk about on the podcast is hopefully of some level of importance, but I have to believe that today kind of hits somewhere special.

Kevin Lowe: And that's because at some point in your life.

Kevin Lowe: In some point in your story, things aren't going to go as planned.

Kevin Lowe: Probably there's been a lot of instances in your story where things have not worked out the way you hoped.

Kevin Lowe: You had it all figured out. You had the plans made.

Kevin Lowe: Everything was set.

Kevin Lowe: And then life got in the way. And if we want to be honest with ourselves, most people don't struggle because life is hard.

Kevin Lowe: But rather they Struggle because life didn't turn out the way they thought it would.

Kevin Lowe: When things don't work out, when things go off script, we typically don't just deal with reality.

Kevin Lowe: Instead, we fight it.

Kevin Lowe: We want what we wanted. We want what we had.

Kevin Lowe: And we can get so easily stuck in this trap of constantly looking backwards.

Kevin Lowe: Of comparing our life today to what it was.

Kevin Lowe: Or sometimes the worst is what we thought it would be.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, my life, my situation is certainly no exception. There's been many things that have happened in my life that I.

Kevin Lowe: Did not plan for I did Not expect I did not ask for and I did not want And yet, somehow, someway, it's all found a way of working out And I have to believe it's all worked out for the best, Now, along this path of getting trapped in this mindset of comparing our life to what was or what we wanted, we can easily start believing something really dangerous.

Kevin Lowe: If this is my life now, then it must not be good.

Kevin Lowe: That belief can keep you stuck.

Kevin Lowe: Can be worse than anything else.

Kevin Lowe: Is this idea, this belief, this thought that just because it's different, that means now that it can't be as good as what I had planned.

Kevin Lowe: Instead, the shift we're making is what Today is all about.

Kevin Lowe: Is that just Because it's different doesn't mean that it still can't be good.

Kevin Lowe: Again, what I want you to understand about that, different does not mean worse.

Kevin Lowe: Different simply means different. And sometimes different can actually come to mean better.

Kevin Lowe: Not worse.

Kevin Lowe: Instead, sometimes what I've found to be the case in life.

Kevin Lowe: Is that Things end up working out.

Kevin Lowe: In a way better than we had ever imagined.

Kevin Lowe: Now, rarely is that the case because typically our dreams are pretty darn amazing.

Kevin Lowe: But yet somehow when you look at it from a really big picture.

Kevin Lowe: A lot of Times you can see how all the pieces somehow just found a way of fitting in, found a way of fitting together just right, even in the messiness of it all.

Kevin Lowe: So as much as all of us love certainty, we love plans to work out, we love to be in control, life has a way of humbling us.

Kevin Lowe: Of reminding us That we don't.

Kevin Lowe: Always know what tomorrow will hold.

Kevin Lowe: Well, I guess better said.

Kevin Lowe: We never know what tomorrow will hold. We can plan for it. We can anticipate it.

Kevin Lowe: We can expect it.

Kevin Lowe: But at the end of the day, I believe we really just have to be willing to see where it goes.

Kevin Lowe: And I think the most important aspect here is that a lot of times it's not what actually happens that is the big thing. Yeah, of course, the loss.

Kevin Lowe: The tragedy, the incident, it's monumental, it's meaningful.

Kevin Lowe: But more so than any of that, it's the loss of the life that you thought you were going to live.

Kevin Lowe: Going blind back in 2003, Yeah, it was horrible.

Kevin Lowe: I can still tell you today, Over 20-something years later.

Kevin Lowe: It's still really tough. And I would love to get to see again.

Kevin Lowe: But you know what was even harder?

Kevin Lowe: Was getting to understand that the life I dreamed of was no more.

Kevin Lowe: You, my friend, have lived out this scenario In your life.

Kevin Lowe: Maybe you didn't go blind, but you've had Some things happen that have dramatically changed the course of your life.

Kevin Lowe: And your life today probably looks nothing like you ever dreamed it would.

Kevin Lowe: But instead of us freezing, instead of us getting stuck, we have to Understand that the version of life that you dreamed of.

Kevin Lowe: It was never guaranteed, right?

Kevin Lowe: Just as tomorrow is not guaranteed, the dreams we have for the future are not guaranteed.

Kevin Lowe: They never were. But here's the important Thing that I want you to understand.

Kevin Lowe: The version of life that you can build from here, that is still wide open.

Kevin Lowe: Because even though right now looks different than what you thought it would.

Kevin Lowe: Even though plans didn't work out, That's okay. because you can start designing your life for.

Kevin Lowe: What you want it To be starting right now.

Kevin Lowe: Now, of course, this whole topic is about being willing to adjust and adapt to life happening, To life getting in the way.

Kevin Lowe: But that doesn't mean that we don't plan at all. It doesn't mean that we give Up all hope. It doesn't mean that we just leave everything up to chance.

Kevin Lowe: No, we start designing. We start adapting.

Kevin Lowe: We start moving with the wind instead of always fighting it.

Kevin Lowe: Instead, sometimes we just have to open up our sails, adjust to the changing patterns of the wind.

Kevin Lowe: And let it take us where it will.

Kevin Lowe: So the question is, is what do you actually do when life looks different than.

Kevin Lowe: You had planned?

Kevin Lowe: I believe it starts with a simple reframe.

Kevin Lowe: Instead of asking, why did this happen?

Kevin Lowe: Instead, start asking, what is still possible now? Even though this did happen.

Kevin Lowe: That one question, it changes everything. It opens up opportunity.

Kevin Lowe: It makes things possible again.

Kevin Lowe: It gets you dreaming again.

Kevin Lowe: For the practical application in today's episode.

Kevin Lowe: I'm going to give you a three-step plan that's going to equip you with what you need to do to rebuild your life, even if it Is different than you had planned. First, I want you to focus on what you still have.

Kevin Lowe: I don't want you to dwell On what's gone.

Kevin Lowe: What should have been, what could have been, Because where that energy is focused, well, that's where life is going to go.

Kevin Lowe: Instead, we're focusing on what you still have. We're counting the blessings that you still have in your life.

Kevin Lowe: So, easy way to think of it.

Kevin Lowe: If you focus on loss, then you shrink.

Kevin Lowe: If you focus on possibility.

Kevin Lowe: You grow, you adapt, you overcome.

Kevin Lowe: Second step, I want you to begin designing your life around your reality, not your past. Not your past dreams.

Kevin Lowe: Not what you thought life would be.

Kevin Lowe: But on what it is. The thing that keeps people stuck the longest is they keep trying to live Out a life.

Kevin Lowe: That is no more. Instead, I want You to start asking yourself the question of.

Kevin Lowe: What do I want out of life right now? With what I have in my hand today, what can I build with it?

Kevin Lowe: What can I do with it? I want you to start focusing on that.

Kevin Lowe: And third, I want you to give yourself permission to love life again.

Kevin Lowe: Even though it's different, even though it's hard, Even though it may not have gone like you hoped.

Kevin Lowe: It doesn't mean that it still Can't be great. You sometimes just have to be willing to give yourself permission to love again.

Kevin Lowe: To live again, to be grateful, to experience life, to enjoy life, To find joy in the little things. If you keep yourself closed off from all of that, then my friend.

Kevin Lowe: What is any of it worth? Again, we can't always Control what happens in this life, but we can always control how we respond.

Kevin Lowe: How we react to it. This is your opportunity that even though things are different, you have a Chance to make them better.

Kevin Lowe: Than they ever could have been.

Kevin Lowe: Today is a simple reminder that even though things in life might Not go like you planned.

Kevin Lowe: Even though all your plans that you had, the dreams you made, all went astray, I don't want you to lose hope in tomorrow.

Kevin Lowe: I don't want you to lose hope in today.

Kevin Lowe: Because it can all still be great if you just simply decide.

Kevin Lowe: Honestly decide, that you're going to make the most Out of life.

Kevin Lowe: No matter what.

Kevin Lowe: That no matter what you have compared to what you thought you would have.

Kevin Lowe: You get the choice to make it great. So make it great. This is your opportunity.

Kevin Lowe: This is your permission to forget about what was supposed to have been.

Kevin Lowe: Forget about what you thought.

Kevin Lowe: And instead, just focus on what you have.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, I guarantee you, if you sit with it and you start to really count your blessings, the littlest things, Sometimes when life is hard.

Kevin Lowe: We have to get really small and focus on the little, tiny, little things that are going right for us.

Kevin Lowe: Sometimes it can be as simple as the belief that life can still be great.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, if there's ever Anything I can do for you.

Kevin Lowe: If you need somebody to talk to, Somebody who can just be a friend to you because maybe you're trying to figure this all out and you're struggling, my friend, reach out to me.

Kevin Lowe: All you have to do is go to my website, Gritgraceinspiration.com. You can also just open up the description of this episode in the episode show notes and find contact information for me.

Kevin Lowe: Send me an email.

Kevin Lowe: Send me a message through the website. Reach out.

Kevin Lowe: I would love to hear from you.

Kevin Lowe: Love to simply help you get through what you're going through.

Kevin Lowe: That's what I'm here for. The podcast is, I hope, just one little piece of the puzzle of what I can do in my mission of inspiring you to never give up on life, even.

Kevin Lowe: When at times it May feel like life is giving up on you. So my friend, don't give up on today.

Kevin Lowe: Don't give up on life, even if it may look different than you thought.

Kevin Lowe: My name is Kevin Lowe, and this is Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

Episode Outro: Podcast Theme Song plays, "What If It All Works Out" - by K-Lowe Music