From Single Mom to 7 Businesses: How to Start Over with God When Life Falls Apart (with Sandy Moll)

Today, I'm in the studio with Sandy Mole, a woman who is here to share her story of the wins and the losses, the ups and the downs, the good times and the bad.

But ultimately, she's here to be an inspiration to us all to just keep going.

Now, as we dive into Sandy's story today, you're gonna find that one thing is true.

Her story is a reminder that the most powerful transformations that we have in our life, they so many times happen in the quiet, humble moments of life.

The times when we finally get quiet and actually allow ourselves to listen to God.

We spend all this time praying and asking, and sometimes we have to stop and slow down and actually listen to what he's trying to tell us.

Sandy's story is one that involves a life of getting married very young, having children, but then finding herself divorced in a single mother.

But sometimes, right when we think all hope is lost, is right when things are about to get good.

And that would come with her second marriage, her second relationship, blending together two families out of love.

Together, her and her husband have built an amazing life for themselves.

Now that doesn't mean that it's been easy.

No, you're gonna hear about the business side of things from losing it all and being forced to start from scratch.

But most of all, you're just gonna hear the amazing transformational story of a woman who has found love, has found success, and is here to inspire you.

That there's no reason the same can't be true for you in your story.

In case you're new here, I am your host, Kevin Lowe.

This is the 419th episode of Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

And when I'm not here on the podcast, I am an inspirational public speaker.

So, my friend, if you belong to a company, an organization, association looking for a speaker for your next event, somebody who can inspire your audience, can empower them, can be a reminder that you know what?

Sometimes the impossible can be made possible.

Well, I would encourage you to learn more and possibly think about bringing me to your stage by visiting kevinspeaks.org.

That, of course, is inside of the show notes.

And with that, my friend, it is my interview with Sandy Mall.

And hey, I always hope that you listen all the way through every episode of the podcast.

But I get it.

Sometimes we get bored, we get preoccupied by something else, and we forget to finish an episode.

Well, my friend, I want to remind you, there is a special surprise at the very end of today's interview.

So, right about the time you think it's all over, and Kevin lied to you, there is nothing special.

Just keep listening, and you will find where I have taken the essence of today's interview, the story of Sandy Ball, and turned it into a song called Jesus Carry Me.

Again, you just gotta listen.

First, listen to the interview, and then you get the song at the end.

So, my friend, that is it for the intro.

Let's dive right into my amazing conversation with Sandy Ball.

What's happening, and welcome back to Grit Grayson Inspiration.

Today I have the pleasure of being in the studio with a woman who I can't wait for you to get to hear from for so many different aspects of her story to hopefully inspire you, motivate you, empower you.

And it all comes by way of the name Sandy Mole.

Sandy, welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_02: It is so great to be here, Kevin.

I I have to chuckle because I feel like you inspire me.

SPEAKER_01: So well, we shall inspire the world together.

SPEAKER_02: There we go.

I will partner with you any day.

SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, amazing.

Well, well, Sandy, before we dive into your story, what I would love for you to answer is for the person listening today, if they are to really listen and maybe take to heart everything that you're about to share with us, what do you hope that they come away with at the end of our conversation today?

SPEAKER_02: That they are valued and they are worthy and they are loved.

SPEAKER_01: I love it.

Absolutely love it.

Well, Sandy, if we look at your story and we go back to the beginning, take me back to the beginning, back to those childhood years that I think are so pivotal for so many of us.

What was life like for you growing up as a kid?

SPEAKER_02: You know, it's interesting.

I get asked that question periodically, and I don't remember a lot of my childhood.

And I've had people say, well, you blocked it out because it wasn't really a very loving childhood.

You know, I think my parents did as good as they could, but their marriage wasn't always a great example of love.

And so for me, where I found solace and I found peace and joy was the churches in the neighborhood and reading scripture and other people.

So I have people that I consider my family that are not blood related, and that's okay.

Both of my parents are deceased now, and you know, I think I think we all in the world do as best we can.

And I have learned a lot from my childhood on the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And I pray that I am a much more present and loving parent because of that.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love it.

Now you talked about church and stuff.

Was going to church, was that a big part of your childhood?

SPEAKER_02: Well, it wasn't for my family.

My mom went to church sometimes and was involved in a church sometimes.

For me, it was more of that's where I went to hang out with other kids that made me feel loved, or or people that that I felt like I was loved by.

So it's yeah, church was not a huge part.

It was more of a safe place that I sought out, sought out.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's that's understandable.

Yeah.

Well, as you progressing through life and talking about, you know, kind of life is as a book, chapters and stuff, moving into more adulthood and marriage, talk to me about that chapter of life.

SPEAKER_02: Well, and I don't know that we've talked about this in the past, Kevin.

So I I think I growing up in high school, I was always searching for something and searching for love, searching for acceptance, searching to be valued, and got married probably too young, became a mother of three, and that marriage did not last for a lot of reasons.

So became a single mother of three.

And that taught me a lot.

Looking back, I I realized all it did teach me.

Then met my current husband, who is a very strong faith person, and my kids call him dad, his son calls me mom.

It's just, I think, where God wants us to be.

And it's that was 25 years ago.

And today it's it, I feel like the last 25 years, I'm finally at a place of peace and love.

You know, we all make a lot of mistakes.

And I look back and I'm like, oh my gosh, I made so many mistakes throughout my life.

But knowing that God has given me grace and love, and he has forgiven me before I forgive myself for any mistakes, that's a very peaceful place to be.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, without a doubt.

So, how old were you when you would would have your first child?

SPEAKER_02: I was 24.

So I wasn't young, but I wasn't old.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, of course, of course.

Of course, now looking at it now, we can say, oh my gosh, yeah, that's young.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The older I get, the younger that is.

SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely, absolutely.

So coming out of the first marriage into the second marriage, so you you guys blended family.

So he had children of from a previous marriage as well.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he had one son and I had three, a a boy and two daughters.

And, you know, it's looking back, it could have been a really difficult blend, but everybody, I mean, I think Dave and I both were were searching for the acceptance and the love that we somehow gave to each other.

We we both believed that God definitely brought us together.

And so our family melded.

I mean, we had we had problems, just like every family does, whether you're blended or not.

But I I always joke that I'm blessed that my kids are all adults.

Three out of the four have families of their own and are very happy.

My youngest daughter, I don't know that ever will get married.

She likes her single life, she likes to travel, and that's she's happy, and everybody seems really balanced.

And they did that despite of me, is the joke.

SPEAKER_01: I love it, I love it, absolutely love it.

So once you began this kind of another new chapter in life, marrying now your your second husband, and you said his name is Dave?

SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01: Dave.

Okay, amazing.

So now, at what point in time did kind of faith, relationship with God, church, like when did that kind of enter back, you know, or really enter the picture for you?

SPEAKER_02: Well, I think it's always been there, but I think with my first marriage, it wasn't as prevalent.

I think, you know, and I don't think this is uncommon, but I think we were, we had our own struggles in the marriage.

And if we would have probably really sought out God, probably those struggles wouldn't have been there.

But I think we tried to handle things on our own.

And reality is you just you just can't.

So I think they were always there.

And it it it was kind of a it was kind of a relief when I became a single mom because it's like, all right, now I get to focus on my relationship with God on my terms.

And and you know, I've always taught my children that, you know, the most important thing is your personal relationship with God, whatever that looks like.

You know, don't stress on what religion you may call yourself or what church you may go to.

The first and foremost priority has to be that personal relationship with your Lord.

And, you know, they they don't all go to the same church.

They don't, sometimes they don't even go to church, but they don't get hung up on that.

It's like God loves us and has forgiven us and gives us that grace.

And as long as what's in your heart is what you're you feel at peace with, you'll always find the joy that God gives you.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.

Amen.

Amen to that 100%.

Well, continuing on then, kind of in this story, I know around the time period of like the 07-08 is gonna be a big pivotal point in your story.

Give me an idea of life coming into that time period.

SPEAKER_02: Well, I still had kids at home.

Things were changing a little bit.

We Dave and I were married, we got married in 2000, the end of 2000.

And, you know, I think the world changed a little bit for a lot of people in that time.

And Dave and I had we had some businesses that we were kind of doing on the side of W-2 jobs.

And then one day, where we both worked was sold, and we were out of a job and retired, and we lost our retirement.

Um and it was okay because we both, and I I shouldn't speak for my husband, but I believe we both had that very strong faith that you know what, this is okay.

God has a plan, and we're gonna follow what that plan looks like.

I remember coming home to our kids and telling them, and I remember all this starter going, oh my gosh, I'm I'm supposed to go to college.

Should I not?

Should I get a job?

And it's like, no, it's gonna be okay.

We don't know what that's gonna look like, but we know it's gonna be okay.

And ironically, the next day or a few days after that, I can't remember, I started getting calls from banks that needed help.

And out of that, another company was born for us, and that was almost over 15 years ago.

And I do believe very strongly that, you know, we as adults sometimes forget to dream, or sometimes don't even realize we it's okay to dream, or we've forgotten how to dream, or we don't even know that dreaming is a legit thing.

But I do believe that we all need to take a step back and really think about what are our dreams, because those are things that God has put in our heart that He's saying, okay, this is a dream.

This is something I want you to do, and I'm gonna give you all the resources you need to do it.

All you have to do is accept this dream.

And and that's came to that has come very much to light for us.

Currently, Dave and I own seven companies.

He focuses primarily on one company, I spoke focus on one company, and then we both we both work in the others, but they're all kind of set up where they operate, oh, kind of on their own.

Our youngest son and daughter-in-law run one of the companies, and you know, we've we've got a blessed life, but it's always remembering, okay, God put these dreams in our heart, and He tells us He's He's gonna be with us to finish these dreams.

And that's important that we sometimes really step back and go, all right, God, what is the dream you're putting in my heart?

You know, I I think Kevin, you and I talked in the past about, you know, I'm a big believer in spending time in silence.

And I think the school of silence is not utilized like it should be in today's world.

So, you know, every day I spend some time in silence.

And I just, I don't, I don't worry about what that looks like.

I don't worry about meditating.

I don't worry about whatever it looks like.

I just know that I need that silent time, and that's when I personally can hear more clearly of what God wants me to do.

And I think I'm a huge believer in that we all need to spend more time in silence.

We need to turn our notify.

I I was I was on a podcast last week, and it was funny because the host was saying, Sandy, now do you turn your notifications off?

And I must have smiled unusually big or something.

I don't know.

And he goes, Okay, what was that for?

And I said, What do you mean?

And he goes, Well, that smile.

And I said, I don't ever have the notifications on my phone on.

I just don't.

My phone is a tool, and it's a tool that I get to pick how I use.

And if the notifications are on, it's a disruption.

And he he said, Oh my gosh, when I need to have it, it's face up.

If somebody tries to call me, it usually lights up.

Doesn't ring, it doesn't do any of that, it lights up.

And so I can glance, unless it's family.

I don't, I don't, or, or in a call I'm expecting, or if it's Kevin.

If it's you, Kevin, I would answer my call.

But I believe we've all gotten way, way it's we all have FOMO.

And the only thing I have the fear of missing out is making it to heaven.

And nothing else really matters.

I think sometimes I had somebody ask once, well, don't you worry about making enough money.

I said, Well, what is enough?

I said, That's you know, what is enough?

I said, I believe if I focus on what God wants me to focus on, He brings me what I need.

And that's what I focus on.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.

I I I love that.

Now I want to back up a little bit because obviously, or I don't know, maybe you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm gonna assume it probably wasn't your dream to have your career end abruptly for you and your husband to to come home with without work.

So talk to me a little bit about because at that point, if I'm not mistaken, 0708, that was during the big kind of financial crisis and everything happening in the US.

So give me a little bit better insight because that that's a big moment in a life to then be able to transition and bounce from and go from working from somebody to all of a sudden now you're opening your own company.

I would love to have you dive a little bit deeper into that.

SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, looking back, and Dave and I talk about this a lot, and we actually talked about it a lot at that point.

Neither one of us felt like what we were doing was our calling.

We we were never passionate.

It was just, it was a job, it paid the bills.

And we we believe now, looking back, and we've believed this for many years since then, that God was giving us nudges on, hey, this isn't what I want you to do.

But we weren't listening.

And so I do believe God will smack you upside with a two by four.

Um, God will make you listen if you're not listening.

And I think that was one of those days that he's like, this isn't what I want you guys to do.

There is something bigger and better for you.

And that was the two by four hit.

And I'm not gonna say it wasn't like oh S-H-I-T that day, but it was it was really closing your eyes and going, okay, God, I get it now.

I don't think if Dave and I, I don't think if we wouldn't have had the faith in something bigger than us that we would have been able to do all we've done.

You know, I I know other people that lost their job that same day and it it didn't go well.

But when you talk to them, they panicked.

They didn't have a strong feeling in their heart that God had their back and he was gonna take care of everything.

And with Dave and I, we we worked very hard and continue to work very hard, and we're not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, about knowing that God has the plan.

And he's not gonna put us, you know.

So what if we would have lost the farm, or so what if we would have, you know, had to file bankruptcy?

So what?

Those are not gonna prohibit us from getting to heaven.

And there's a lot of people who have gone through much worse.

We had our health and we had our family.

And I'm a big believer that when things go bad, if you have to hide in your closet to have quiet time and just journal about all the good things you have, it will all change.

You cannot, you cannot be sad or upset or hurt when you count your blessings.

It's actually physically impossible.

And and Kevin, I think you're a great example of that.

You have gone through some traumatic things, but counting your blessings kept you going.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it absolutely.

And and you know, that is that is one way in which I start my day every single day, and I encourage everyone to is the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is I thank God for everything that I can think of in that moment.

Of it can be as simple as thank you, God, for letting me sleep good last night.

Thank you for the bed that I slept in, thank you for the air conditioner that kept me cold.

Thank you for my family, the dog I hear barking, waking me up.

All these little things, because exactly what you just said, when you immediately fill your heart, your soul full of gratitude, it makes less room for all that other negative stuff.

SPEAKER_02: Bingo.

Bingo.

You know, I'm I'm a big believer.

What you fill your head and your heart with and your entire body, whether it's physical, spiritual, emotional, it matters.

And I'm not gonna say, you know, I had a mocha frappuccino thing this morning, probably loaded with sugar.

I don't know, but it was really good.

Probably shouldn't have had it for my body, but I'm not perfect.

But yeah.

I think you hit the nail in your head.

You can't, you can't have a bad day when all you focus on is the good things you have.

Now, bad things can happen to you, and you can even do some bad things when you focus on on the good, but I I don't think that happens very often.

But yeah, I mean, everybody listening has several things to be grateful for, starting out by they got up in the morning and they can hear this and they have the ability to hear it.

I mean, I I don't even know the people that are listening, but I can name probably several things that they should be grateful for.

And we all have a tendency sometimes to get caught up in the minutiae and the crap that's in the world, and we forget that there's something bigger going on, and there's not a lot we can do other than stay in a positive light.

Or if you want to run for office, or I you know, there's there's things you can do, but the best thing we can all do is live in a state of gratitude and love.

And I think if everybody in the world lived in a state of gratitude and love, that the world would be a better place.

Because I mean, when you when you live in that state of love, what you're really saying is I care more about what goes on with the other people than I do myself.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_02: And and when you when you care more about what goes on with the people around you than yourself, that's gonna change the world.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

Exactly.

Exactly.

So I want to ask you about the idea of of dreams.

Of we we spoke about it a little bit earlier about you know having a dream and and and this idea of pursuing it.

But sometimes, even though we have a dream and even though we feel called, like we're we're perfectly in alignment with what God wants for us, it doesn't mean that it always uh comes easy.

Sometimes uh it seems like the dream uh never will come true, and we're constantly working and we're trying, and we start to doubt and wonder, okay, well, maybe am I chasing the wrong thing?

What what do you have to say for that person experiencing that?

SPEAKER_02: Well, I think the first thing I'd have to say is sometimes, and I'm including myself, we think this is the dream, but is it really?

I I always tell people everybody has a dream.

God, God put dreams in us.

But the older we get, especially in a in a in a noisy world, it's easy sometimes to think, well, this is my dream.

But the reality is it's really not your dream.

You've been influenced and you think it's your dream because of external factors.

So you you ask a bunch of high school kids what their dream may be, and they may say, Well, I want to have a million dollars.

Well, why?

Well, I I don't know why.

Then why is that your dream?

So I think the first thing you have to really go back to is it your dream that's inside of you, or is it a dream that you feel like the external parts of your life have pushed in you?

And that's why I think you know, I've had dreams.

I I've had a lot of dreams that that I wrote down, and then if I sit in silence and I say, okay, Lord, please give me clarity on these dreams.

Some of those dreams aren't really my dreams.

I feel like they're things I when you really analyze, it's like, okay, this is what I should be doing because this is what society wants me or tells me, or it's an external factor.

But I think if you really take the time to sit down in silence and get clear on your dreams, God gives you the tools to do those dreams.

Now they're not necessarily always going to be easy, and you have to be resilient because he's gonna continue to be with you in that dream, and it may change a little bit, but he expects you when you get knocked down to still get up.

And he's teaching you something through that.

I mean, when we started ABS years and years ago, we didn't always have it easy.

And I tried to make changes, and then it was like, and I kept listening to people, well, you can't do this, or you have to do this, or whatever.

And Dave and I had already had other companies that were successful, but I kept hearing this noise, and it was like I tried to do what these people told me because I thought they were much smarter than me.

Well, the reality is I took a step back and went, okay, Lord, please, if I'm not supposed to do this, I I'm okay with that, but tell me what to do.

And a few days of just sitting in silence and just kind of being patient and waiting, all of a sudden it went, do what's in your heart.

So I completely changed uh a lot of things we were doing, almost changed our entire business model, and we just started flourishing.

And still still to this day, when I get up in the morning, I spend at least the first 30 minutes just in silence.

You know, I may read a little scripture, I may say, okay, God, what is this scripture telling me?

And you know, what do you want me to learn from it?

But a lot of times it's just like, okay, Lord, I'm here.

I'm here.

And I think sometimes sometimes it's when when your dreams and you're working on them get hard, we forget to take a step back and say, okay, God, this feels hard.

Where do you want me to go?

What do you want me to do?

What am I doing wrong?

Or is it just supposed to be hard right now?

And what am I learning from it being hard?

But I tell people, sometimes people say we just gotta push through it.

I say actually, no, you need to take a step back and sit in silence first and get really clear on what you're pushing through.

I don't know if that answered the question, Kevin.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, absolutely, absolutely.

And honestly, it just it makes me think of this question is you said something, you said many things.

That leads me into this next question I want to ask you is you have how many different companies?

SPEAKER_02: We currently have seven.

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

You have seven companies.

And yet most people who own one company, they're in that entrepreneur mindset.

We hear about the need to hustle, to get up earlier, to work later.

They they have yeah, and so what I am trying to figure out is how do you do it all?

How do you manage the ability to create a business, to maintain a business, and still maintain such amazingness for yourself of silent time, of silencing your notifications, of spending time with God.

How is it even possible?

SPEAKER_02: The reality is it's not possible if I don't do those things.

It's pretty easy.

I mean, one of our companies is an event space that our youngest son and daughter-in-law run.

We still own it.

We still are a little involved, but they run it.

We helped them build up the SOPs and we're working on it.

Some of our companies, we've just made sure that as we've grown them, we've put really good systems in place.

And so, really, what our role is is to check the systems and check the numbers and make sure the systems are supporting the numbers we want.

But the reality is we couldn't do it if it wasn't something God wanted us to do.

And if we don't spend time thanking him and being grateful for all he's given and really spending that time in a respectful and introspect way, it would be hard.

But there's, you know, I I try not to have any meetings on Mondays and Fridays.

And I usually work 10 to 3, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but I still get it all done because I start the morning saying, okay, Lord, am I still supposed to do what you want me to do?

Make sure I feel clear on that.

And if you need to hit me with another two by four, I've learned how that hurts, but I'm I can handle it.

But what are the things you want me to focus on today?

You know, I I do have a to-do list.

People laugh because I still use pen and paper.

I still have an actually a book laying right next to me that has my entire September to-do list of things that have popped up during my silent times of, okay, I need to focus on this or this or this.

And I take notes.

And then each morning I'm like, okay, Lord, what do you want me to focus on?

Well, it is kind of interesting that my to-do list isn't sitting with me during my silent time.

I have a journal that I do sit with me in my silent time.

And if something pops up in my head, I'll I'll write it down just because then I can go back to being silent and I don't get, I don't chase that squirrel.

But I'd say 99% of the time, at least two of the three things that I ask God to say, what do you want me to focus on today?

What is what are the three things or one thing?

What do you want me to focus on today?

And usually I'll come up with two or three things.

And majority of the time, those things are already on my to-do list.

So he helps me prioritize.

You know, sometimes during the day, yeah, this morning I got an email when I logged into my email that I needed to review a report for a client.

They person who did it wanted me to review it specifically.

And so I emailed one of my admin people that's very good at that.

I said, Hey, Megan, why don't you look at this first and then let me know when you're done and I'll look at your notes.

So I think there's always times that I think entrepreneur are real good at thinking we have to do everything.

And the reality is we don't have to do everything, and we shouldn't do everything.

We should do only what we're supposed to do.

And getting clear on where your personal focus is, I don't know how people can do that without spending time in silence.

SPEAKER_01: Exactly.

And I actually want to ask you about the silence, because I hear a lot of people when they talk about silence, they're actually talking about like meditation, where they're focusing on this idea of absolutely clearing their mind, eliminating thoughts.

But it doesn't sound to me like that is what your silent time is, because you're talking about having these things pop in your head and jotting them down and getting them out, but it's not like this idea of clearing your mind.

Would you mind talking to me a little bit more about it?

SPEAKER_02: I have gone through trends and meditation training and I have done TM and other meditations, and I think there's a lot of value in those because I think they do aid your body, your physical body.

When I spend time in silence, I don't get so hung up on clearing my mind.

You know, last night my husband was gone, I went out on our deck, started the fire pit thing, it was getting dark.

I read my book, I put my book down, and I just sat there for 15 minutes.

Now, sometimes things came on my mind and it's okay.

Sometimes things came on my mind that I jotted down and said, Oh, I probably should check on this.

Sometimes things just came on my mind like, hey, I wonder if the chickens have put my themselves to bed or not.

You know, I I don't get hung up on focusing on one thing in my time of silence.

And again, I I think there are benefits to meditation.

Uh, for me, at this point in that season in my life, it's just getting away from the world's distractions and spending time in the world God made.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

Yes.

Yes, because goodness knows it is enough work to turn off the TV, not turn on the phone, not turn on the radio, to just enjoy the silence.

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: You know, last night when I was sitting on our deck, it was so cool because I went, oh man, the cicadas are just really noisy tonight.

And, you know, I could hear the ducks on the pond.

And it was like, Lord, thank you for letting me be able to hear them.

And it's amazing to me that you made all these things for me to enjoy and to witness.

Again, a lot of my time in silence is asking God questions and then just patiently hoping He answers me in a way I understand.

And sometimes it's a matter of, okay, God, you know, what do you want me to do about this?

I know you have an answer.

I know you're trying to teach me something, but I'm just not getting it.

Can you help me through this?

And I'll just kind of sit there.

And do I always have an answer that I understand right away?

No.

But throughout the next period of time, days, weeks, months, whatever, things come up.

And sometimes I think God is like, He's wanting to make sure that he and I are on the same page and even in the same book.

It's the old adage that I pray all the time every day, because prayer to me is just talking to God.

And I do that constantly.

And so I think the time for silence for me is it's the clarity it brings me.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.

I love it.

I love it.

When you look back on this journey you've been on from those childhood years to becoming a mother, marriages, divorces, to starting businesses, now thriving with seven different businesses.

What do you feel like is the biggest maybe lesson that you've taken away from it all?

SPEAKER_02: I actually was thinking about this this morning, Kevin, because for many years I was the typical person that had been through a divorce and I felt guilty.

Guilty about, you know, my kids, I should have, I should have put up with more, so my kids would have not had to go through a divorce.

But then I look at my kids like they are thriving and they love Dave.

I think the biggest takeaway is that forgiving yourself is sometimes harder than forgiving other people, and I don't know why that is, because God has already forgiven us and He knew what we were gonna do before we did it.

So I think I think it's really learning to forgive yourself.

I can easily forgive other people.

It's not a problem for me to forgive other people.

I mean, I've had some pretty horrible things done to me and my family, and I I can forgive other people.

Don't ask me why it seems so easy, but it does for me.

Forgiving myself was very difficult, and I think that is probably a biggest lesson that you can't move forward without forgiving other people and yourself.

And whether that's a failed business, whether that's a failed marriage, whether that's, you know, maybe you're sitting in prison and you've done some horrific things.

Well, there's a reason that you're there.

God has you on a path.

He's already forgiven you if you've asked and you really truly want him to forgive you, but you gotta forgive yourself.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: I think along with that, you've gotta, you've really gotta surrender your life to him.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

Yes.

I absolutely love, love what you just said, because I think that is without a doubt something that I think all of us can relate to is how difficult it is to forgive ourselves.

You know, I often say if we could all just treat ourselves like we do our best friend, we would be so much better off.

And yet, all we do is we tear ourselves down.

We are our own worst critic.

We, you know, we we point out all the flaws about us, but uh, you know, this idea of just treating ourselves better.

SPEAKER_02: Right.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I love it.

Well, uh, well, listen, for somebody who is interested in maybe diving deeper, they are interested to understand what you have to offer, how they can get in contact with you, because I want to be sure that, you know, the person hearing your story today that this doesn't end here.

What can we share with them?

Where can we send them to be sure that they stay plugged in inside of your world?

SPEAKER_02: Well, I I get asked this a lot.

And it's like, I'm because I do focus on on things that are a little bit more outside of our traditional world, I do have social media.

I am on LinkedIn, Sandy Mall.

I'm on LinkedIn, I'm also on Facebook, but I'm not on those a lot.

And I am very open to people just emailing me.

And my email is pretty easy.

It's S M-O-L-L, so it's small but with an O at ABS, so abs, and then the hyphen sign, the dash core, C-O-R-E dot com.

Yes, abs and core are both stomach names, but we have nothing to do with your stomach, sorry.

So yeah, S small at abs dash core.com, ABS dash C O R E.com.

Or to be honest, Kevin, I I even give out my cell phone number because people can text me and say, hey, I heard you on Kevin's podcast.

I I would just like to set up a time to visit.

And my cell phone is is it all right if I give that out?

SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02: My cell phone number is 913-731-6007.

Again, 913-731-6007.

And I do answer my texts.

You know, people say, but you don't spend a lot of time on your phone.

No, I don't.

But I do check my texts a couple times a day.

So I do reply.

And if they want to call me, I'm okay with a phone call too.

I usually, if it's a number I don't know, yeah, it'll go to voicemail, but that's okay.

Leave me a voicemail and I will call you back.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is amazing.

You are so incredible.

I'm gonna be positive for the person interested.

I'm gonna be sure that all of the details you just spoke about are inside of the episode show notes so that anybody, if you are interested in getting in touch, please just scroll down, expand the little show notes section, and uh you can find the links and phone number and email and all of that right there.

So you don't feel like you have to uh jot it down at this moment.

But um My goodness is such an enlightening conversation with you today.

It's been a real pleasure to get to hear your story, both personally and professionally.

I find it extremely inspiring, and I uh thank you in the most sincere way possible for being here.

SPEAKER_02: Well, Kevin, you inspire me, and I think of you almost daily, and you are.

You are an inspiration to me, and I know you're an inspiration for thousands of people.

And I think I think everybody in the world should know Kevin.

You you are like that, but there you go.

SPEAKER_01: Yes, you are so amazing.

Thank you.

Well, for you listening today, I hope that you're smiling like I am, but more so, I hope you're feeling inspired, empowered, that whatever obstacles you're facing, whatever challenges you're enduring, that there is another side.

That the mountain that you're facing, it's meant to be climbed.

And waiting on the other side might just be that dream that you've been chasing.

So get out there and chase it.

My friend, I'm your host, Kevin Lowe, and this was another episode of Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

SPEAKER_04: I got grit, grace, and inspiration on my mind.

SPEAKER_01: Hey, awesome.

You're still here.

And since you were cool enough to listen all the way to the very end of today's episode, I have a special surprise for you.

The story you just heard, I turned it into a song.

Now, how is this possible for a guy who can't sing nor play an instrument?

Well, my friend, it's called Today's Modern Technology.

It is amazing.

And what I did was I took the essence of the story you just heard and turned it into a full song.

And that's what you're just about to hear.

Now, if you're curious to know how this works and if I can make a song for you, well, head on over to KLOMusic.com.

That is K-L-O-W-E-Music.com to have your own song created.

But until then, I I hope you enjoy this song.

SPEAKER_04: Take this heart, I'm letting go.

I've been trying, but I can't anymore.

I've been holding on so tightly.

I just need you to take control.

Take this heart.

Carry me.

I grew up searching for a place.

Where peace was something more, something I had.

So I walk down to the little Where can I spell like them?

I've been trying to put a day.

I've been calling it.

I just need you to take it.

I can hear you speak.

Take this hug and carry me.