#405: Stop Trying to Fit In: How Embracing Who You Really Are Changes Everything

Kevin Lowe: We don't stand out, To be sure that we fit in with the crowd.

Kevin Lowe: And yes, I am talking about all of us.

Kevin Lowe: We tend to think that this just happens in school. My friend, no, because if we're honest, we know it happens in the workplace just like it did back in elementary school.

Kevin Lowe: But the truth that I want you to understand and why today's episode is even happening is I want you to understand that fitting in might get you accepted, but it will never allow you to stand out.

Kevin Lowe: So that is why today I'm going to show you that the most impactful thing you can ever do for yourself is for you to run your own race, for you to throw yourself Your own party.

Kevin Lowe: For you to be you. My friend, I've said it before and I'm going to say it again.

Kevin Lowe: The world needs more of you.

Kevin Lowe: This is episode 405 of Grit, Grace and Inspiration.

Kevin Lowe: And me, well, I'm your host.

Kevin Lowe: Kevin Lowe, a guy on a mission to inspire the world. And yes, that includes you to never give up on life, Even when it may feel like life is.

Kevin Lowe: Giving up on You.

Kevin Lowe: I do it through this podcast. I do it through my role as an inspirational speaker, Which, side note, by the way.

Kevin Lowe: Are you part of a company, an organization, an association, needing an inspirational speaker for your next event?

Kevin Lowe: If so, please be sure to check out kevinspeaks.org.

Kevin Lowe: So you can learn more as to what I can bring to your stage as an inspirational speaker.

Kevin Lowe: I will include a link to that website at the top of today's show notes.

Kevin Lowe: But again, it's just simply kevinspeaks.org.

Kevin Lowe: So with that said, my friend, let's get on with today's episode so that you can get back to being you.

Podcast Intro: Yeah, I got grit, grace, and inspiration on my mind.

Kevin Lowe: With every interview that I get to record For this podcast.

Kevin Lowe: There's always something that I learned from my guests. Some of my guests, They have stories that are inspiring.

Kevin Lowe: They're motivating. They're empowering.

Kevin Lowe: Sometimes they just bring words of wisdom, a point of view that Just kind of lets you see.

Kevin Lowe: Things from an angle maybe you hadn't thought of before.

Kevin Lowe: When I did the interview with Tick Maynard, he was featured in our last episode.

Kevin Lowe: That would have been episode 404.

Kevin Lowe: There were so many takeaways, but one of the biggest was a lesson that I learned from the way he showed up to a championship.

Kevin Lowe: It was called Road to the Horse, where the world's best horse trainers gather together and they compete against one another.

Kevin Lowe: Now, if you heard my interview with Tick Maynard, which if you didn't, my friend, please be sure to go back and listen to episode 404.

Kevin Lowe: Such a powerful conversation about more than just horses, More than about this competition.

Kevin Lowe: But about life and how amazing it is to do it like Tick has done it with something that he loves, and that includes horses.

Kevin Lowe: But in regards to what I'm talking about is when he was getting ready for this competition, which is invite only, it is exclusive.

Kevin Lowe: He was faced with a dilemma. Does he show up as himself like he'd always been or does he try to fit in?

Kevin Lowe: And even as an adult, even as somebody at the top of his game, he was struggling with this.

Kevin Lowe: Do I try to be like everybody else? Does he show Up with the typical cowboy attire?

Kevin Lowe: The Wrangler jeans, the Stetson hat, the cowboy boots.

Kevin Lowe: Or does he show up like he'd always been?

Kevin Lowe: Because Tick, he was raised in a family that they rode horses.

Kevin Lowe: And they did it in a style that is called English. Now, I don't claim to act like I know much about horses or about riding horses.

Kevin Lowe: But from what I learned from Tick is this style of English, They don't wear the typical cowboy attire. No, they have the tight pants that are tucked inside of the tall.

Kevin Lowe: Knee-high boots. They wear a helmet. They don't wear a cowboy hat.

Kevin Lowe: It's all this a little bit more sophisticated way of riding a horse.

Kevin Lowe: And so despite the fear of not fitting in, Of being afraid that he would look weird, that he would feel like an outsider.

Kevin Lowe: He did it anyways. He stayed true to who he was. And you know what happened?

Kevin Lowe: He won the whole dang thing. And not just once, But twice.

Kevin Lowe: He's a two-time Road to the Horse champion. An amazing accomplishment.

Kevin Lowe: And.

Kevin Lowe: I have to Believe that part of it.

Kevin Lowe: The reason it all happened the way it did, Is that Tick.

Kevin Lowe: Decided to show up as himself, to remain true to who he was.

Kevin Lowe: And my friend, I share this Because I believe.

Kevin Lowe: It's a lesson that we all need to be reminded of.

Kevin Lowe: No matter how old we are.

Kevin Lowe: No matter what stage of life we're in, we all need a reminder that Who we are.

Kevin Lowe: Is who we're supposed to be. We're not supposed to be like everybody else.

Kevin Lowe: We're not supposed to look like everybody else.

Kevin Lowe: We're supposed to be who we are.

Kevin Lowe: So this got me thinking, how many times do we, maybe without even thinking about it, adjust who we are just so we can fit in?

Kevin Lowe: Think about you at work. Are you who you really are at work just like you are at home?

Kevin Lowe: In your meetings, do you tend to be a little bit quieter just so that you can fall in line to do what you think you're supposed to do? Are you a parent and you're in line waiting to pick up your kids?

Kevin Lowe: Are you comparing your car, your life to the others? Or do you fall Into that trap of.

Kevin Lowe: Seeing the friends with their big brand new home and suddenly the house that you always loved no longer seems like it's enough?

Kevin Lowe: And you start going online.

Kevin Lowe: Researching new homes, bigger homes.

Kevin Lowe: All with this sudden idea that comparison.

Kevin Lowe: It's beginning to rob you of what you already loved.

Kevin Lowe: And when I talk about comparison, I mean it's true, my friend.

Kevin Lowe: Because comparison is a trap, a horrible trap that some people stay stuck in their entire life.

Kevin Lowe: Equally so, conformity, well, that's also a trap in its own way.

Kevin Lowe: because all that's going to do Is it robs you of who you are.

Kevin Lowe: What you like.

Kevin Lowe: Maybe you don't like the kind of house that everybody else does.

Kevin Lowe: That's good. Maybe you don't like to have the same color car.

Kevin Lowe: That everybody else is. Awesome.

Kevin Lowe: I love that. We all have way too many people who try to fit in.

Kevin Lowe: To want the same thing, to act like they like the same thing as everybody else.

Kevin Lowe: We need more people who like something different. And I want you to be the person, the trendsetter, to start setting that forth.

Kevin Lowe: And talking about trendsetter, I can't help but think of two different stories from my childhood.

Kevin Lowe: Now, I'm not going to act like I was anything special As a kid.

Kevin Lowe: I was just a kid. But I remember distinctly third grade.

Kevin Lowe: I had to switch schools, which if you can remember, That's a big deal.

Kevin Lowe: To leave all your friends and have to go to a whole new school, it's terrifying.

Kevin Lowe: And if there's ever an opportunity for us to fall victim to this idea of fitting in, it's in that situation. And yeah, I can remember that I had my older sister And I always kind of took my fashion from her friends, Thought they were the cool kids.

Kevin Lowe: And so me, I was rocking my chain wallet.

Kevin Lowe: Yes, I had the total skater surfer vibe going on.

Kevin Lowe: I think that was about the time when Vans had first come out.

Kevin Lowe: Yes, I know. I am aging myself with that. But, you know, we had the Vans, The corduroy billabong jacket.

Kevin Lowe: And, I mean, heck, third grade JNCO jeans hadn't even really hit the scene.

Kevin Lowe: I'm talking old school. But anyways, the chain wallet.

Kevin Lowe: I would rock my cool guy chain wallet and.

Kevin Lowe: Nobody else in the School had it.

Kevin Lowe: And yet, by the end of the school year, even the older kids had a chain wallet.

Kevin Lowe: And I have to think, hmm, maybe I had something to do with that by being different, by going against the grain. by doing something a little unusual.

Kevin Lowe: Same thing happened in middle school into high school.

Kevin Lowe: Is, well, you can tell I was growing up.

Kevin Lowe: My style was changing drastically from skater kid to deciding to rock a pair of pointy toe cowboy boots in the eighth grade.

Kevin Lowe: And yeah, I was the only one. But it didn't take long before my friends, they started wearing their own boots.

Kevin Lowe: Again, sometimes what's cool is, is when we decide to do what we want to do, it encourages other people to do the same.

Kevin Lowe: Because being who you are, my friend, it's like a breath of fresh air.

Kevin Lowe: It's enlightening. It's amazing. It gives people that chance to also be themselves.

Kevin Lowe: Because the hardest thing that any of us can do is to be the first one, to be the first one in line, the first one to show up with something outside of the norm. But if we do, And we have the courage to.

Kevin Lowe: Stand in our own, to believe in ourself enough, Then just watch what can happen.

Kevin Lowe: The ripple effect can be absolutely monumental.

Kevin Lowe: So, my friend, I want to end today's short episode with a challenge. A challenge to you.

Kevin Lowe: Wherever you are in life.

Kevin Lowe: Wherever you're at in this season of life, I have a challenge for you.

Kevin Lowe: If you have been showing up to work as a different version of you than you are at home, I want you to try being more of you.

Kevin Lowe: If you've remained quiet in the meetings and yet you're really not that person, well, I want you to speak up. Yeah, it might seem uncomfortable.

Kevin Lowe: And yeah, obviously it's work. So you got to be sure that you're following some lines to be sure you don't end up without a job.

Kevin Lowe: But what I'm saying is, is that maybe you've been holding back.

Kevin Lowe: And if you would start to show up as you, who I'm here to tell you is the best version of you, maybe work would become a better place.

Kevin Lowe: Maybe you could make an impact far greater than you even realize because you start being you.

Kevin Lowe: Or what about you and the style that you're into?

Kevin Lowe: If you've been trying to just do what everybody else does, even though it's really not you, well, my friend, start being you.

Kevin Lowe: Wear something different, even if nobody else is wearing it.

Kevin Lowe: If everybody else is constantly Wearing drab colors.

Kevin Lowe: And you're really into the bright stuff, My friend, bust out the bright colors and rock it.

Kevin Lowe: And I want you to be confident in it. I want you to walk With your head held high.

Kevin Lowe: Because you are being you. And it doesn't mean that it's easy.

Kevin Lowe: It will be uncomfortable.

Kevin Lowe: But the more you do it, the better you'll be. Because, my friend, the worst thing any of us can do is to try to hide and to put on a mask and pretend that we're something that we're not.

Kevin Lowe: So whatever the situation you're in, I want you to take action and just be more of you.

Kevin Lowe: It's as simple as that. I'm not asking you to do anything hard or difficult. I just want you to be you.

Kevin Lowe: Because as I've said earlier.

Kevin Lowe: As I've said on many different episodes of this podcast, the world needs more of you. We have enough of everybody else.

Kevin Lowe: We just need you. So my friend, If you love it, if you like it, Please be sure.

Kevin Lowe: To share today's episode with somebody else who you feel could use a reminder that maybe they're not showing up as who they truly are.

Kevin Lowe: And you realize, wow, they could really benefit from hearing this.

Kevin Lowe: We'll share today's episode with them.

Kevin Lowe: It would mean the world to me. And until next time, I am your host, Kevin Lowe. And this, of course, was another episode of Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

Podcast Outro: I got Grit, Grace, & Inspiration on my mind