Stop Trying to Fit In: How Embracing Who You Really Are Changes Everything

My friend, no, because if we're honest, we know it happens in the workplace just like it did back in elementary school.

But the truth that I want you to understand and why today's episode is even happening is I want you to understand that fitting in might get you accepted, but it will never allow you to stand out.

So that is why today I'm gonna show you that the most impactful thing you can ever do for yourself is for you to run your own race, for you to throw yourself your own party, for you to be you.

My friend, I've said it before, and I'm gonna say it again.

The world needs more of you.

This is episode 405 of Grace and Inspiration.

And me, well, I'm your host, Kevin Lowe, a guy on a mission to inspire the world.

And yes, that includes you to never give up on life, even when it may feel like life is giving up on you.

I do it through this podcast.

I do it through my role as an inspirational speaker, which side note, by the way, are you part of a company, an organization, an association needing an inspirational speaker for your next event?

If so, please be sure to check out kevinspeaks.org so you can learn more as to what I can bring to your stage as an inspirational speaker.

I will include a link to that website at the top of today's show notes, but again, it's just simply kevinspeaks.org.

So, with that said, my friend, let's get on with today's episode so that you can get back to being you.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I got grid grace and inspiration on my mind.

SPEAKER_00: With every interview that I get to record for this podcast, there's always something that I learned from my guests.

Some of my guests have stories that are inspiring, they're motivating, they're empowering.

Sometimes they just bring words of wisdom, a point of view that just kind of lets you see things from an angle maybe you hadn't thought of before.

When I did the interview with Tick Maynard, he was featured in our last episode, that would have been episode 404.

There were so many takeaways.

But one of the biggest was a lesson that I learned from the way he showed up to a championship.

It was called Road to the Horse, where the world's best horse trainers gather together and they compete against one another.

Now, if you heard my interview with Tick Maynard, which if you didn't, my friend, please be sure to go back and listen to episode 404.

Such a powerful conversation about more than just horses, more than about this competition, but about life and how amazing it is to do it like Tick has done it, with something that he loves.

And that includes horses.

But in regards to what I'm talking about, is when he was getting ready for this competition, which is invite only, it is exclusive.

He was faced with a dilemma.

Does he show up as himself, like he'd always been, or does he try to fit in?

And even as an adult, even as somebody at the top of his game, he was struggling with this.

Do I try to be like everybody else?

Does he show up with the typical cowboy attire, the Wrangler jeans, the Stetson hat, the cowboy boots?

Or does he show up like he'd always been?

Because Tick, he was raised in a family that they rode horses.

And they did it in a style that is called English.

Now, I don't claim to act like I know much about horses or about riding horses, but from what I learned from Tick, is this style of English, they don't wear the typical cowboy attire.

No, they have the tight pants that are tucked inside of the tall knee-high boots.

They wear a helmet.

They don't wear a cowboy hat.

It's all this a little bit more sophisticated way of riding a horse.

And so, despite the fear of not fitting in, of being afraid that he would look weird, that he would feel like an outsider, he did it anyways.

He stayed true to who he was.

And you know what happened?

He won the whole dang thing.

And not just once, but twice.

He's a two-time road to the horse champion.

An amazing accomplishment.

And I have to believe that part of it, the reason it all happened the way it did, is that Tik decided to show up as himself, to remain true to who he was.

And my friend, I share this because I believe it's a lesson that we all need to be reminded of.

No matter how old we are, no matter what stage of life we're in, we all need a reminder that who we are is who we're supposed to be.

We're not supposed to be like everybody else.

We're not supposed to look like everybody else.

We're supposed to be who we are.

So this got me thinking, how many times do we, maybe without even thinking about it, adjust who we are just so we can fit in?

Think about you at work.

Are you who you really are at work just like you are at home?

In your meetings, do you tend to be a little bit quieter just so that you can fall in line to do what you think you're supposed to do?

Are you a parent and you're in line waiting to pick up your kids?

Are you comparing your car, your life, to the others?

Or do you fall into that trap of seeing the friends with their big brand new home?

And suddenly the house that you always loved no longer seems like it's enough.

And you start going online, researching new homes, bigger homes, all with this sudden idea that comparison, it's beginning to rob you of what you already loved.

And when I talk about comparison, I mean it's true, my friend, because comparison is a trap, a horrible trap, that some people stay stuck in their entire life.

Equally so, conformity, well, that's also a trap in its own way.

Because all that's gonna do is it robs you of who you are, what you like.

Maybe you don't like the kind of house that everybody else does.

That's good.

Maybe you don't like to have the same color car that everybody else is.

Awesome.

I love that.

We all have way too many people who try to fit in, to want the same thing, to act like they like the same thing as everybody else.

We need more people who like something different.

And I want you to be the person, the trendsetter, to start setting that forth.

And talking about trendsetter, I can't help but think of two different stories from my childhood.

Now, I'm not gonna act like I was anything special.

As a kid, I was just a kid.

But I remember distinctly third grade.

I had to switch schools, which, if you can remember, that's a big deal.

To leave all your friends and have to go to a whole new school, it's terrifying.

And if there's ever an opportunity for us to fall victim to this idea of fitting in, it's in that situation.

And yeah, I can remember that I had my older sister.

And I always kind of took my fashion from her friends, thought they were the cool kids.

And so, me, I was rocking my chain wallet.

Yes, I had the total skater surfer vibe going on.

I think that was about the time when vans had first come out.

Yes, I know I am aging myself with that.

But um, you know, we had the vans, the corduroy Billabong jacket.

And I mean, heck, third grade Ginko jeans hadn't even really hit the scene.

I'm talking old school.

But, anyways, the chain wallet.

I would rock my cool guy chain wallet, and nobody else in the school had it.

And yet, by the end of the school year, even the older kids had a chain wallet.

And I have to think, hmm, maybe I had something to do with that by being different, by going against the grain, by doing something a little unusual.

Same thing happened in middle school, into high school.

Is well, you can tell I was growing up, my style was changing drastically from skater kid to deciding to rock a pair of pointy-toe cowboy boots in the eighth grade.

And yeah, I was the only one.

But it didn't take long before my friends they started wearing their own boots.

Again, sometimes what's cool is when we decide to do what we want to do, it encourages other people to do the same.

Because being who you are, my friend, it's like a breath of fresh air.

It's enlightening, it's amazing.

It gives people that chance to also be themselves.

Because the hardest thing that any of us can do is to be the first one, to be the first one in line, the first one to show up with something outside of the norm.

But if we do, and we have the courage to stand in our own, to believe in ourselves enough, then just watch what can happen.

The ripple effect can be absolutely monumental.

So, my friend, I want to end today's short episode with a challenge.

A challenge to you.

Wherever you are in life, wherever you're at in this season of life, I have a challenge for you.

If you have been showing up to work as a different version of you than you are at home, I want you to try being more of you.

If you've remained quiet in the meetings and yet you're really not that person, well, I want you to speak up.

Yeah, it might seem uncomfortable.

And yeah, obviously it's work.

So you gotta be sure that you're following some lines to be sure you don't end up without a job.

But what I'm saying is, is that maybe you've been holding back.

And if you would start to show up as you, who I'm here to tell you is the best version of you, maybe work will become a better place.

Maybe you can make an impact far greater than you even realize.

Because you start being you.

Or what about you and the style that you're into?

If you've been trying to just do what everybody else does, even though it's really not you, well, my friend, start being you.

Wear something different, even if nobody else is wearing it.

If everybody else is constantly wearing drab colors and you're really into the bright stuff, my friend, bust out the bright colors and rock it.

And I want you to be confident in it.

I want you to walk with your head held high because you are being you.

And it doesn't mean that it's easy, it will be uncomfortable, but the more you do it, the better you'll be.

Because, my friend, the worst thing any of us can do is to try to hide and to put on a mask and pretend that we're something that we're not.

So, whatever the situation you're in, I want you to take action and just be more of you.

It's as simple as that.

I'm not asking you to do anything hard or difficult.

I just want you to be you.

Because as I've said earlier, as I've said on many different episodes of this podcast, the world needs more of you.

We have enough of everybody else.

We just need you.

So, my friend, if you love it, if you like it, please be sure to share today's episode with somebody else who you feel could use a reminder that maybe they're not showing up as who they truly are.

And you realize, wow, they could really benefit from hearing this.

We'll share today's episode with them.

It would mean the world to me.

And until next time, I am your host, Kevin Lowe.

And this, of course, was another episode of Grit Grace and Inspiration.

SPEAKER_01: I've got grit grace and inspiration on my mind.