#389: Never Ask. Never Get a Yes! Your Fear of Rejection Is Costing You More Than You Realize

Kevin Lowe: It isn't the word no. But instead, it's you never asking in the first place.

Kevin Lowe: My hope is that by the end of today's episode, you will never hesitate again in asking for what you want, for what you dream, what you desire.

Kevin Lowe: Because, my friend, the worst thing you could possibly do is to never ask the question.

Kevin Lowe: This is episode 389 of Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

Kevin Lowe: I'm, of course, your host, Kevin Lowe, a guy on a mission to be sure that I inspire you, I empower you, I encourage you to take advantage of every single moment you're given on this planet because, my friend, every day is a blessing, and I want to be sure that you make the most of every second of it.

Kevin Lowe: And today, it all starts by you having the courage, the bravery, the guts to ask the question.

Podcast Theme Song: I got grit, grace, and inspiration on my mind. No matter the storms that rise, I won't be left behind. I'm stepping out in faith because I'm perfectly designed. I got grit, grace, and inspiration on my mind.

Kevin Lowe: The reason I bring up today's topic is because, well, I was living it out loud.

Kevin Lowe: I was doing what I always do. I was drinking my morning smoothie, hanging out in the kitchen, getting the day started while listening to one of my favorite podcasts, The Ed Milet Show.

Kevin Lowe: Yes, my friend, if you've been listening to this podcast, you've heard me reference Ed's show before.

Kevin Lowe: And Ed is the man when it comes to some powerful interviews.

Kevin Lowe: Every interview he's ever done has been extraordinary.

Kevin Lowe: But today's interview, the one I was listening to, it just hit different.

Kevin Lowe: His guests had an amazing story, powerful story.

Kevin Lowe: And he's today one of the most biggest in-demand, inspirational, motivational speakers there are.

Kevin Lowe: And while I was listening, though, there was a point in the interview when something just clicked.

Kevin Lowe: Something that screamed to me, you got to reach out.

Kevin Lowe: And now, again, when I'm talking about the Ed Milet show, Ed's show is huge.

Kevin Lowe: The guests he have on are huge. And this guy was certainly no exception.

Kevin Lowe: So if you want to talk about using that term out of my league, you could say this guest was out of my league.

Kevin Lowe: And yet, what did I do?

Kevin Lowe: I went ahead and I pulled up his website. I'm sitting there on the laptop, set the smoothie aside and started scrolling through his website.

Kevin Lowe: Just to see what else did I need to know about this guy? What else did I need to learn?

Kevin Lowe: And was there a way to reach out to him? And now, mind you, people like this, they have a gatekeeper for the gatekeeper.

Kevin Lowe: You want access to them? You got to go through somebody.

Kevin Lowe: And in this case, it's probably going to be going through somebody who knows somebody who's got somebody else's number.

Kevin Lowe: But instead of letting any of that stop me, you know what I did?

Kevin Lowe: I just asked the question.

Kevin Lowe: I literally found a contact form, a simple contact form.

Kevin Lowe: The very thing that everybody will tell you, never waste your time filling out.

Kevin Lowe: Because most of the time, the contact form on a website goes to an email address that isn't monitored, that's often forgot about, and it's nothing but spam.

Kevin Lowe: But that was the one, the easiest way that I found that I could reach out to this person. So I just thought, what the heck? Why not?

Kevin Lowe: Why not just send a message and see what happens?

Kevin Lowe: Now, I want to make this one important point before I continue.

Kevin Lowe: When I sent this message, I didn't do so with any expectation.

Kevin Lowe: If you want to say I had expectations, they were next to none.

Kevin Lowe: They were extremely low.

Kevin Lowe: So I just sent it like a one-on-one personable note.

Kevin Lowe: Me, heart to heart, reaching out to a guy who I just listened to on the Ed Milet show and was completely blown away. And what happened next?

Kevin Lowe: Well, you're going to have to hold that thought because we're going to come back to that.

Kevin Lowe: But before we get back to that, I want to be sure that this is applicable for you so that you be sure that you do not make the mistake of never asking in the first place.

Kevin Lowe: Because if you have been somebody who has failed to ask the question, do you ever wonder why that is?

Kevin Lowe: Well, I feel like it comes down to a couple of different points.

Kevin Lowe: The first, of course, is the fear of rejection. If we get real and honest, nobody likes to be told no.

Kevin Lowe: Nobody likes the feeling of being rejected, to be led to believe that you're less than or not equal to, that you're not deserving.

Kevin Lowe: So oftentimes that fear of rejection, it keeps us quiet. It keeps us still.

Kevin Lowe: But one important thing that we forget, and I believe it's something that I hope that if the fear of rejection has been holding you back from ever asking, is that when you're told no, nothing changes.

Kevin Lowe: Because if you think about it, before you asked, you were already at no.

Kevin Lowe: You didn't have what you wanted.

Kevin Lowe: You asked, they say no.

Kevin Lowe: Nothing gained, nothing lost. You're still just right where you were.

Kevin Lowe: So just go ahead and ask the question. Or maybe are you the person who instead of the fear of rejection, you just only assume the worst?

Kevin Lowe: You have led yourself to believe that asking is going to lead to humiliation.

Kevin Lowe: The person's going to think I'm an idiot.

Kevin Lowe: They're going to think I'm so stupid. They're going to talk trash about me.

Kevin Lowe: They're going to tell other people about me asking them out on a date.

Kevin Lowe: Whatever it is, we have this idea of the worst case scenario.

Kevin Lowe: But the fact is, is that in reality, that's rarely ever the case.

Kevin Lowe: We just assume the worst.

Kevin Lowe: But in actuality, it's oftentimes a much better outcome than we could ever believe.

Kevin Lowe: Or maybe the third scenario, do you just straight up underestimate what is possible?

Kevin Lowe: Some of the most successful people in this world are only where they are today because they have the courage to just ask the question.

Kevin Lowe: Because you never know what is possible when you just ask the question.

Kevin Lowe: You might be wanting one thing, but what you get is something even bigger, something even greater.

Kevin Lowe: So my friend, again, I encourage you, just ask the question. Stop being held back.

Kevin Lowe: Stop letting fear and anxiety and worry and doubt rob you of your opportunity to thrive in life.

Kevin Lowe: You have a question. You have a desire.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, ask the stinking question.

Kevin Lowe: So with that said, let's get back to the story. What happened?

Kevin Lowe: What happened after I pressed send on that contact form on this person's website?

Kevin Lowe: Did I hear anything? Did I get a response at all?

Kevin Lowe: Was I completely embarrassed because they responded with some mean response?

Kevin Lowe: No, none of the sort. Instead, you know what happened? I got a reply.

Kevin Lowe: Not a week later. That same day.

Kevin Lowe: And here's the thing. You know who the reply came from?

Kevin Lowe: It didn't come from a company, some big organization booking for this person.

Kevin Lowe: No, it actually came from him, the person, the one who I heard on the Ed Milet show.

Kevin Lowe: This big named person, top motivational, inspirational speaker in the world.

Kevin Lowe: He's the one who responded to me in less than 24 hours.

Kevin Lowe: His message was sincere. He read it. He understood what I meant.

Kevin Lowe: And what he said, it just blew me away.

Kevin Lowe: He recognized my own story, said that I inspired him, and that, yes, he would love to be a guest on my show.

Kevin Lowe: And again, it comes back to the point of today's episode. If I never asked, then I never would have the opportunity to get a yes.

Kevin Lowe: Because my friend, if you never ask, you'll never get a yes.

Kevin Lowe: You'll constantly wonder, what if?

Kevin Lowe: And if there is one thing that can rob you of joy faster than any other, it is the question of what if.

Kevin Lowe: So, my friend, today I encourage you to stop asking what if and start asking the question.

Kevin Lowe: Now, who is this guest that I'm talking about?

Kevin Lowe: Well, I'm going to keep you in anticipation because all you have to do is tune in next week to episode 390 of this podcast.

Kevin Lowe: So be sure that if you have not already hit that subscribe slash follow button inside of the app that you love to listen on.

Kevin Lowe: I'm talking about Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever else you love to listen to your podcasts.

Kevin Lowe: My friend, be sure that you have clicked that follow button, the subscribe button, so that you are notified next week, which will be on Tuesday, when that interview drops.

Kevin Lowe: I'm telling you, you do not want to miss it. One of the biggest interviews I've ever done with one of the most amazing people I've ever met, all here to share his insights, his amazing journey he's been on for your benefit.

Kevin Lowe: So, my friend, I leave you with one final word of encouragement to wrap it all up. If there's something on your heart, if there's something you desire, that you want, don't be afraid to ask for it.

Kevin Lowe: There is no harm, no foul in you simply asking the question.

Kevin Lowe: Because remember, if you never ask, then you'll never get a yes.

Kevin Lowe: Until next time, I'm your host, Kevin Lowe. And this, of course, was another episode of Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

Podcast Theme Song: I will not fear the storm. My hopes will define. I want my faith, not my sight...