Wendy’s Inspirational Story: How 3 Near-Death Experiences Inspired Her Personal Growth Journey

SPEAKER_07: Okay, what if there's a blizzard and everyone has to sleep over, ready to go with extra buddy and tables?

SPEAKER_05: From guest ready essentials to holiday decor you can trust.

Wait there in the world.

SPEAKER_00: What if the same helicopter that you rescue that was lifting your scattered body off the side of the mountain was indeed the same helicopter that was lifting you into what would become your best self, the best version of you.

Today is a Total Women's Empowerment episode talking about rebuilding your life, taking the brokenness, and creating something even better.

If you, my friend, need a little inspiration, some motivation, some empowerment, well then, my friend, you are exactly where you're meant to be.

I welcome you to episode 373.

And you are listening to Great Great and Inspiration.

What's happening and welcome back to another amazing episode of here on Great Grace and Inspiration.

Today, I have the pleasure of being in the studio with none other than the amazing Wendy Feldman.

Wendy, welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, thank you.

Thank you so much.

So super excited to be here.

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, well, Wendy, I'm excited to have you here.

I'm excited to get to share your story.

And I want to kick off our conversation today with a question of we're gonna obviously unpack all the different elements of your story, the stuff you've gone through.

But given all that you've gone through in life, where you sit today, how would you describe the person you are today?

SPEAKER_01: So we have an hour when 20 minutes, we're only gonna have like three hours, because I don't know.

You know, today I am a very, I think I'm a very different human than I was 20 years ago, 30 years ago.

And in the sense I feel actually more I'm I'm 61 and I feel more myself, better in my own skin, just happier with who I am as a as a human, as a person, as a mom, than I really have ever felt.

And I actually look so forward to the future, and I know that sounds could sound so I don't want it to sound like looking through rose-colored glasses, because clearly there's so much in the world going on, but I really feel like I got 40 years ahead of me and I look at it in a with a very different lens than I have in my life before.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that very much.

Well, I guess my next question is is something that I'm gonna say is is a chapter of your life, and that is cycling.

How did you get started in in cycling?

SPEAKER_01: Oh, thanks for asking that question.

That was a very huge, as you know, that was a really big part of my life.

So I started cycling, gosh, in probably 2003.

And it was, you know, I always loved riding a bike, and so but I got really into the, you know, I always loved running when I was in college at UC Santa Barbara, everyone rode their bikes around.

So you had this cruiser bike, you know, you're two-wheel with no gears or anything, and that's how you got around town.

You know, you just kind of went at night, middle of the night, whatever, you're riding your bike around, and that was the mode of transport.

So I always loved it then, and I kept going when I lived in the city.

I would ride over the Golden Gate Bridge on my mountain bike and do some mountain biking.

So I just loved this sport, but it was really like in 2003 when I wanted to get into road cycling, very different, right?

You're on a very lightweight bike with little tiny skinny little tires, you know, and there's not much between the rubber of the tire and the the road underneath you.

It just became a passion of mine, and I started riding, and uh one of my really dear girlfriends that she used to race, and so she and I would ride together, and so one time we did this, we did a hundred-mile ride, and you know, it was a coordinated ride, and I was on my still on my same mountain bike that was heavy, heavy.

And she was on a racing bike, and you know, we're we we did the whole ride, and she I'll never forget, she said to me, I am so afraid, free, when you get a get get a real road bike because I can't believe you did this on this on this tank.

It was it was the mountain bike I had since I was 20, you know.

So it was just like this jalopy.

It was a jalopy.

And I I remember we ended up, you know, you started at this high school where the race started, where the ride started.

And Kevin, we got back to the high school, and I was so sick of that bike.

I I left it there.

I said I'm done with this bike.

SPEAKER_02: I just left it.

I thought, I don't care who takes it, you know.

It was like something of it, because I it had taken me for through so many rides, and I'm like, that's what I'm getting.

SPEAKER_01: So that's when I bought my first road bike, and then I just had the bug.

I I had the bug, and I just it was challenging, it was freeing, it was fun, it was community.

I met so many neat people.

Sometimes you'd go out, you'd ride up, be on, you know, on the road on your own.

I'd go out for three or four hours during the day, kids were at school, and I'd go out in the day and I'd ride, and I'd go out on my own a lot.

Sometimes I'd ride with people, but you always meet someone on the road.

You didn't meet someone cycling on the back hills or back roads, and I live in a place where you could just from my house jump on and ride for 75 miles, you know, just go.

SPEAKER_02: And a beautiful territory, but you meet people, you know, you just meet them, you sit and chit-chat, you ride for a while together, they peel off, you peel off, or you and you continue riding, and sometimes you become friends and you ride again, or you don't, you say goodbye and you never see them again, you know.

It's just it's kind of a cool little world.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.

And I mean, I guess I can't help but but hearing you just this idea of freedom in the cycling.

SPEAKER_01: Freedom.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.

Yeah, amazing.

SPEAKER_01: Total freedom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was it was freedom in a sense of um, I think just I it also, you know, connected me so much with nature.

And because in nature and out in the universe, there is freedom.

It's open, it's open territory, right?

The sky's the limit.

I mean, that's just the term you use, but it's true.

I mean, it's just vast, it's open.

So you can get on the bike, the sky's the limit.

You can go as fast as you want, you could go as slow as you want, you could ride with people, you could ride on your own.

And when you're out there, you're just you're literally right in touch with nature because you're you're you're riding right alongside the terrain, you're riding right alongside the beauty of the plants and whatever it is and the smells, and and I just saw so many things that I might not ever even notice in a car, you know.

So it's just really cool.

Very, very cool uh sport.

Very cool.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.

Now, did you ever get into racing or always just more enjoyment?

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, great question.

No, I never got into racing.

I rode with a lot of people that raced, and so I learned from them.

And I would ride in big Peloton groups once a week.

Usually we'd I'd go on this, you know, coordinated ride.

It's like usually 30 or 40 people, and these people were great, they were really good cyclists.

So it was challenging for me because you know, you're riding your wheels are right on there, you know, and so it was um I learned a lot on how to cycle.

I learned how to be a very strong good cyclist, you know, how to climb and how to do all that.

And uh, but yeah, no, it was purely enjoyment.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love it.

I love it so much.

Now, during this time of cycling, before we ever even get to to your own incidents, did you ever witness any any crashes of while you were out with others?

SPEAKER_01: I I really didn't.

I mean, I'd see people never think bad.

Let's put it this way.

I mean, you see you might see people fall or but never anything tragic that would have ever made me go, oh gosh.

I mean, I was fearless.

And that's the weird that's the crazy thing.

There was a point where we would ride, we'd leave, you know, a group of us would go, and we'd ride, like I said, 70, 80, sometimes 100 miles in a day.

And we would ride through traffic, we'd ride along trucks.

I mean, you just, you know, you're because you had to cut through certain towns, you know, you'd be cut through down, you know, you're obviously you're going that much that far.

You're clearly, I don't live in a rural area.

So you are with cars and you're at stop signs and your stoplights, and you gotta keep up with traffic.

And I just you kind of weave in between.

I never, I just was fearless.

It didn't, I don't know, it didn't phase me.

I guess I just I felt so one with it.

And um, so no, I did not answer a question on that.

Didn't even witness my own first because I was unconscious, so so didn't see that.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I even missed that one.

I even missed I even missed my own classic, you know, classic me.

Funny.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.

Well, would you mind talking through that?

Because I know that correct me if I'm wrong, that we're gonna be talking about today.

You had three different kind of near-death experiences in the span of eight years, correct?

SPEAKER_01: Two was road cycling, one was not, but yes.

SPEAKER_00: Okay, so talk to me about this first one.

SPEAKER_01: So the first one was on May 21st, 2013.

So, you know, I know you've talked in in a previous podcast about, you know, traumatic anniversaries, and so I always know the dates of all of them.

I will never forget the dates.

So it's yeah, it was a Tuesday morning, and oddly enough, the night before, so I was going through a hard difficult time in my in my marriage, and we were married 20 years, and the night before, we my ex-husband and I had, at the time we were married, we had broken up and separated, and we kind of had gotten back together.

And the night before, the day I crashed, we had a pretty big disagreement, and we realized this is just it's not gonna work anymore.

And so the next morning I woke up and I used to, you know, never question getting on the bike.

It was like, yeah, just get on the bike and go.

And that morning I really questioned, I thought, I don't know if I should ride today.

It was like I was really upset, I was really emotionally not in a good state.

And but I thought on the other side, I thought, well, maybe it'll clear your head, you know, it's maybe a good fruit.

And I really grappled.

I s I stood there in the garage next to my bike, going, should I really ride today or should I just take a pass?

And I opted to ride.

And so I got up, you know, I went up on the hills behind her.

I live, you know, we always riding up in the Berkeley Hills, right above the Berkeley campus.

It's gorgeous up there, beautiful.

And I'm riding along, and I actually passed a couple riders I knew, kind of waved to them.

And um, shortly after I saw them, I went down this hill that I'd never gone down.

It's very, very steep descent.

I had climbed up it, so I knew how hard it was, but I'd never gone down it.

And I turned to go down it.

And again, at the top, I was kind of thinking, should I go that way or should I take the longer way home?

And I thought, no, I kind of want to get home.

I'll just take this shortcut.

And I went down this road.

And as I was going down the road, I started to pick up speed.

And this cyclist came up behind me.

And you know, when you're cycling, someone will let you know they're coming up, and they they kind of yell out on your left, right, to let you know there's someone coming up.

And he must have said it twice because I didn't hear it the first time.

And so I must have been really kind of in my own world.

And he screamed it and it kind of jostled me, and I thought, oh gosh.

And he went by very fast.

And so I kept riding, and I realized at that point that I was just kind of in my own world.

I wasn't really focused on the road.

So as I kept going down the descent, I started picking up a lot of speed and had a garment.

You know, he had this little monitor on my bike, and I remember it saying about 40 miles per hour.

And that was about the last time I remember much because all of a sudden I looked up and I went down a very there was a very steep part of the hill that I didn't even know was there.

Took a deep drop, and he had stopped.

This other cyclist had stopped at the bottom of that little hill where there was a stop sign, had no idea there was a stop sign there.

Then there was a bunch of pine needles, and I which you're not supposed to do, I slammed on the brakes, but it was it was such instinct.

Jammed on the brakes, bike like went, you know, I in my head the bike fish tailed because it's it started to swerve on the pine needles, and all I remember is literally with everything went into this very, very odd, like a slow motion in a movie.

And I literally screamed out, I'm going to die.

This is it.

And I swore and I said, I'm this is that I'm dying.

And that was the last thing I remember.

And thank goodness he was there because he heard me fall.

I just went flat over.

I didn't fall off the bag, I just because I had stopped, you know, I don't know about the slow motion.

That must have been maybe that was my brain.

I have no idea.

But I just went flat over to my left and slid on the road.

And he, fortunately for him, he stopped, he looked back and he was like, Oh my god.

So he screamed, he didn't even have a cell phone at the time, so he yelled, you know, call 911.

There was we were up in the hills and there's botanical gardens up there, and he heard the um landscapers because he heard the blower, you know, so he knew there were people there, so he started screaming, call 911.

I was unconscious, and he took his bike and he literally threw his bike about 15 feet behind me because the road, because cars come down that road.

So where I was lying in the middle of the road was around a corner.

So if a car was coming down, they wouldn't even have time to stop.

They so he put his bike back there as kind of like a flare to say stop, you know.

Then he was able to call, they were called for help, and it turned out I was they put me in an ambulance, and because I was in the we were in kind of a very tree covered area, and the helicopter could not land there, so they had to put me in an ambulance to take me to uh to take me around the bend where there was a more of an open clearing where the helicopter could land.

And that I don't even remember any of that.

I had no recollection of the ambulance.

And then when I did wake up though, the first sound I heard was the the blades of the helicopter, you know, going around.

And I couldn't open my eyes, they were like stuck shut, and I I was in pain, I was cold, found out I was cold because they had to literally cut all my clothes off of me because my eyes were puffing up so black and blue, and my ears, I was bleeding out of my ear and down my neck.

They thought that I was totally hemorrhaging out of my brain, so that's why they were like rushed me to the hospital, right?

So that's when I woke up and I remember waking up and hearing these sounds and hearing people talking and saying, get this, do this, do this, and the first words out of my mouth.

I just the first words out of my mouth were I I said, I I need to go, I need to pick up my kids at school, you know, someone's gotta get my kids.

It was the first thought in my head was who's gonna get my kids to school.

And then the next thing I knew, I was being strapped onto a plank.

So we're putting you onto a plank, we're gonna load you into a helicopter, you're on your way to the trick nearest trauma center, and then you know from there I was in and out of consciousness.

It was yeah, so that was the first one.

That was the first one.

It was um was rough.

SPEAKER_00: Wow, that is really traumatic.

Did you ever get in contact with that cyclist who had been there that day?

SPEAKER_01: Yes, I did, I did.

That's such a good question.

I did because I wanted to know what happened, and I'm trying to think, oh, I think because I had no idea what happened, right?

Imagine I get to the hospital, I'm there for seven days, no idea what had happened, and nobody did, you know, and so I was like basically a Jane Doe when I got to the hospital.

Because what happened is, you know, when you're cycling, you have a jersey, and your cycling jersey has little pockets in the back, and that's where you put kind of your stuff.

You don't have anything else on your bike, you don't have a backpack, you don't have anything with you.

And they had cut my clothes off, and so the police, the em police that show up to the scene, they take all your belongings with you.

So they had taken all that with me.

So they put me in the hospital.

I mean, in into the helicopter, it was like literally the blanket over me, the sports bra that they left on, and me, that's it.

There was nothing, so they didn't know who I was.

So they literally had no clue why I was coming in as a Jane Doe.

And because all my I always rode with my license and everything, but that was now at the police station.

So I was able to then through the police report and you know, contact the police, find out who was the person that gave the report.

From there, I was able to reach him, and then I also did reach out to the first responders, and of course I ended up bringing them, you know, a big thing of brownies and cookies and everything because it might save my life, you know, later when I can move.

But when I did call the first responders, like three weeks later, and when I got the name of the guy, and I got his name through a cyclist because he actually, one of my friends is the cyclist, he was a he was a first responder, not on site, but he works at that same station, he heard all about it.

That's actually they found out who I was because he had said, and someone he that guy recognized said, Oh, that's when that's when he feldman, and that's how they were to realize you know, realize who I was.

So, but when I called and I told that first responder when he heard my voice, he said, Wait, who is this?

And I told him, I said, I was the one up on by the botanical gardens.

And he was like, Oh my gosh.

He's like, Oh my god.

He goes, I I he goes, I can't wait to tell the guys about this.

He said, We literally, he said, I have to tell you.

He said, We put you in that helicopter, and he said we all loved each other.

He said, She's not she's not making it to the hospital.

But she's not making it.

And he was so and I said, Really?

He's like, Oh god, you were in and he said, Do you want to know?

And I he, you know, I said, I do.

And he told me the details and it was like, whoa.

But you know, so when I reached out to the guy, poor guy, I mean, he said he couldn't even get on his bike for weeks.

He said he he had to call a friend to come pick him up.

He said he was so traumatized that he said he sat there, he thought it was his fault.

He said it was my fault, his fault because he stopped at that stop sign and he didn't need to, you know, he had this whole thing, and I said, you know, no, you know, he's like, No, it's my fault.

I said, Look, if you weren't there, I wouldn't be dead.

So we actually kept into contact for a while.

He was a good guy, you know, he came out and I just wanted to assure him, you know, it was he saved my life.

You know, he saved my life.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

Wow.

Now, what kind of injuries did you end up sustaining from that accident?

SPEAKER_01: So it broke my skull in three places on the left temporal lobe.

Oh, okay.

And so I suffered very, yeah, very severe traumatic brain injuries.

Really, really horrific.

So that was that was tough to come back from.

That was tough to recover from.

Really bad headaches for a very long time.

I tore a hole in my left eardrum, so I couldn't hear out of that ear for a while.

I fractured the bones around my eye, fractured my jaw.

I broke my collarbone.

The only bone I broke was my collarbone.

So they I do have a plate and screws in that now, permanent fractured ribs, fractured my pelvis and five spots.

So yeah, it was a lot of fractures.

Not but I was very fortunate that I only broke the collarbone.

So that was very, very lucky.

But a rehab was tough, you know.

It was a lot of like learning to walk again, and it my eyes were swollen shut for days.

They were so swollen, Kevin.

I not a scratch on my face.

Thank God for the helmet, you know.

Thank God for the helmet.

SPEAKER_00: Wow.

How long would it take you, Wendy, to really recover from that?

I mean, to the point of getting back to, you know, quote unquote like normal life.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.

It took a good, gosh, eight, eight to ten months, I mean, of really feeling right.

I didn't have the headaches and I didn't get dizzy, I didn't get nausea.

I had nausea for a lot of time, just really severe, just feeling and waking up because the head, the head, you know, head trauma, so it's just dizzy.

And the first week I was home, um, we had to close off any light in the bedroom.

So, and we had to have the dog stay next door because I couldn't have any sound, because any type of sound was so hard for the brain.

So, even in the hospital the first week, they put me in like a literally a soundproof, double-doored, dark room because sound, light, anything was too much for me.

It was brutal to see anything or hear anything.

So it took a while, so I couldn't hear music, couldn't hear I mean, I remember my son was so sweet when I was able to I walked with a little walker and I was able to go outside one day.

He said, Come on, mom, let's let's go in the backyard, and was able to get outside and he had his music with him, and he he put on a James Taylor song, and he played it really quiet, real like so quiet.

And I remember how you know over time we'd stay sit outside, he'd walk with me, and we'd sit outside, and he was able to turn the music up, you know, he's able to turn the music up, he's gonna get a better mom, you know.

You can you can listen a little louder now, you know.

It's like how to protect my eardrum and and everything.

So it it took time, but I got here, and I you know that, you know, it takes time, but the body is an amazing thing.

Body is amazing and the power of your mind too, you know, the power of your brain, and just say, tell yourself, you know, when Kevin, when when being strong is the only choice you have, you get through stuff.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that so much when being strong.

You know that.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know that.

Yeah when being strong is the only choice you have, and then and then you know that you've been in hospital beds, you know that.

Yeah when you're lying there and you you don't have another choice but strength and and make And did that make me strong?

I mean, and has it kept me to just go back to that?

And yeah, I know you get that.

I understand that.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.

Now, at this point, where were you at in your personal life with your marriage?

Were you separated at this point?

SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah.

That was a great question.

It was tough, you know, and and and and now I look back and I go, gosh, you know, I mean, if I were in my excess shoes and it was literally, I mean, clearly the morning that I crashed was we were both probably figuring, let's get her find our attorneys and let's get this going.

So then he finds out that I crash.

And you know, I was like, and you know, so he, I was at home.

No, we were still living in our same home, and you know, he took care of me, and we had to thank goodness where I had a community of people that people I didn't even know.

I mean, that's the crazy thing.

And I think you probably can relate, people you don't even know, that are like distant, like parents of my kids' friends that maybe had only met once or twice.

Oh my god, do they come out and help like support and do meals and are there?

And I had to have full-time people watch, you know, my husband go to work in the day and the kids were at school, but I needed to have someone with me all the time.

I couldn't be left alone because of the head trauma.

And so I always had, you know, I'd be sleeping a lot, but there'd be people in the other room just wait, you know, speak nearby if I needed them.

So that was for a couple weeks I had that.

So, but you know, once I pretty much healed, I did, I ended up, I did move out.

I separate, you know, we separated and and it was rough and it was tough.

But yeah, yeah.

So that was that was kind of going on through all that.

So it was not easy.

It was not easy.

There were a lot of different factors going on in that recovery.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.

Talk to me a little bit about the mental game, the mindset here in terms of here you are, you're you're a mother, you have children, you're you're cycling, you're doing this thing you love, and yet while doing that thing you love, you you literally almost die.

What does that do for you and your maybe just perspective on life?

I assume it had to have some type of impact.

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: Huge.

And I I look back now, and there's times, I mean a lot, and I really say, and thank you for asking that question, because that I think hopefully many of your listeners can can understand or relate to.

I'm sure many can relate to because people have traumas in all different fashions.

They come in all different shapes and sizes, colors, and whatever.

And it put so much in perspective.

It made me number one, it made me realize that yes, I what I'm doing, unfortunately, having to break up our family, that was the healthiest thing to do for my children and for myself, and I think ultimately for my and for my husband as well.

You know, it was not a healthy relationship.

And so it w we weren't doing any good to show the kids what an unhealthy relationship is like.

That that's not gonna do any good in a toxic household, you know.

And so it definitely solidified that.

It also put in perspective what I learned about people and I learned about you know who you count on and and what's important, like what really matters, like the stuff, I didn't care about the stuff anymore.

I mean, stuff that I thought was important, oh my gosh, it is not important.

I was like, no, because I realized how your health, how your health and the ability to be able to just move your body and breathe.

I mean, it it it it changes your perspective.

And so that day, literally, you know, May 21st, 2013 has really marked a day in my life that only it was one of the greater gifts in my life.

The three greatest gifts in my life is my three children, but one of the greatest gifts to me as a human of growth was on May 21st, 2013.

And, you know, it was funny, I was running at a very fast pace.

I was going, going, going, always going, always busy, always busy, and I and always on the bike.

And I'll never forget at the time when my husband at the time said to me, you know, you were going so fast, you're moving at such a fast pace.

That you keep up with this pace, you're going to crash and burn.

And I'll never forget that.

And he was right, because I did crash.

I didn't burn, but I crashed.

And that is the universe's way, has a very interesting way of sometimes saying, stop you in your tracks.

You're not ready to die.

I'm not gonna let you die because there's a reason that you're meant to be here, Wendy.

But it stopped me in my tracks to say, look at what's going on here.

Yeah what what's going on?

What are you doing?

And that did it.

That did it.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: And I needed that.

And man, did I slow down?

And did did I start new things and learn new things and start to do things I wouldn't have taken the time to do before.

And it was really healthy for me.

It's really good.

It's really good for me.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.

It's crazy how sometimes it takes something to happen to give us that that kind of needed perspective change, you know, to get to see life differently.

And that's powerful.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

And you know, yeah, no, no, no, we don't wish that.

We don't want people to go through that.

We don't want people to have to go through that, right?

But if that happens to you, if for whatever reason, it's you gotta remember that look at it for what it is, take it for what it is, get through it, be strong, get through the pain of it, heal, and move on.

And then learn what did what came out of that.

What can we take out of the negatives in life?

Because there's gonna be a lot of them.

What can we take from that?

And what can we how can we turn that?

You know, it's the adage, you know, turn lemons into lemonade.

But what it's true.

How can we take things that are negative?

Because they're good, you're gonna have get you're gonna be faced with them every day, all the time.

And how do you flip it?

It's like you sit all the time, flip the script, and it's flipping the narrative.

Change up your change talk, get your change talk up, you know.

How are you talking?

How are you seeing things?

How are you saying things?

How are you listening?

How are you perceiving it?

That's what is gonna make the difference in this world is better understanding, being a little more patient with people, not passing judgment, all those things, that is how we learn to grow, and that's how we become a healthier, happier, more well planet as a whole.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I agree 110%.

So, Wendy, here's the thing.

Everybody so far, they're like, oh my gosh, I love Wendy.

Oh, I feel so bad for her.

But then I'm gonna ask the next question.

And I think they're gonna be like, this woman is crazy, she's stupid.

What is she thinking?

You, you, you took little age old thing of if you fall off the horse, you gotta get back on it.

So you did the same with the bicycle.

SPEAKER_02: I did.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh my god, yes.

And I kind of did it secretly too.

SPEAKER_01: You know, it's kind of like, oh my god, I have to do this and not let any of my family die doing this.

Because yeah, they're on like, you are flipping nuts.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: You're flipping nuts.

But, and maybe it was, but you know, you're right.

You're right, you're right.

It was kind of the get back up and do it to get off that fear.

And I kind of, as a matter of fact, I did kind of start it just for that, just like, okay, I'm gonna get on.

And we're rode like a mile from my house, like, you know, just up to the school near nearby school and then back home and really careful.

And someone went with me, you know, and and they're like, okay, you can do it, you know.

And then it was like, I can do this, and then I would do it every day.

And I was like, oh God, now I'm gonna do two miles and now I'm gonna get two days, you know.

And then I was like, yeah, I'm back, you know, and then I actually did a I did it on a Mother's Day, I did this really cool ride with this beautiful mountain, Monte Diablo, which is uh one of the taller peaks in the state of California.

And I used to ride it, you know, a couple times a week.

I would love it.

It's about a 4,000-foot climb.

It was one of my favorite mountains.

And they have this on Mother's Day, they had this challenge, it's called the Diablo Challenge, where you start, everyone starts, it's everyone starts at the bottom, and you get to the top as fast as you can.

And I did it, and I ended up placing third in my age group.

So I was um in my early 50s, so I ended up placing third in my age group, which was awesome.

I was like really excited, made a pretty good time, you know, not as good as I wanted, but I mean, and for the fact I did it, you know.

So I did get back on, and then I started riding kind of like, you know, with my group again.

And one day I did a group ride, that planned group ride I told you about with a lot of very strong racers.

Silly little dumb crash, actually.

I mean, we we were all going slow, we were just starting out, it was the beginning of a 75-mile ride, we're probably five miles into the ride.

Somehow, my front wheel just very by a hair caught a back wheel of a rider in front of me, and that takes you down, and then like five people fell on me from behind me, and I fell flat on my chin, and I think I must have blocked out for a very short second.

But unfortunately, and I got up and everyone stopped, and they're like, Okay, you know, Wendy, you gotta reiterate to a hospital.

And I was like, No, no, no, no, I'm fine.

Like, no, you know, my chin was bleeding and my hand was bleeding.

I'm like, no, no, no, you know, you guys go, it's a beautiful day, you guys write, I'm gonna write home.

And they're like, I don't think you should write home.

My hand was starting to swell up, and they're like, I think you should get to a hospital.

And I really said, you know what?

No, really, I'm really good.

I'm all good, I'm all good, I'm fine, scraped up, but I'm gonna write home and you know, be good.

And one woman said, No, I'm I'm gonna take you to the hospital.

So she put me in her car and we went to the hospital and get to the hospital, and I the doctor said, Were you here just like a year and a half ago with another, didn't we see you recently?

And I said, Yes.

And he said, Well, we're gonna scan your brain since you had a traumatic brain injury.

We're gonna scan it.

Looks like you hit your head again.

And I said, You know, I don't even know why I'm here.

I'm fine.

Like, please let me go home.

A scan comes back and he's comes in and he looks at me and he says, Well, I have to tell you, you're not so fine.

He said, You actually cracked your skull in the same place you cracked it the first time.

And he said, This crack is actually a little bit worse.

He said, Whereas on the first time there was no blood on your brain, he said, This time you have to actually have a little fracture on a part of the skull that is very close to nicking one of the largest arteries that goes up into your brain.

And I'm not saying this correctly because I don't really remember.

I think I tuned out everything he was saying at this point.

But all I knew is he said, if that little nick, that little sharp point of the bone were to rupture that, he said, you you're gone.

So he said, We're basically going to you and I see you, you're gonna be completely still for 24 hours, and we're gonna see, because there is bleeding on your brain now.

He said there's bleeding in there, and he said, We need to make sure that that little piece, that little shard, that little piece of bone can smooth out and not get close to that vein.

And we also want to make sure that the bleeding stops.

And he said, You have 24 hours.

If in 24 hours the bleeding stops, then you know I think you're gonna be fine.

If it does not stop in 24 hours, you're going in tomorrow morning for brain surgery.

And I looked at him and I said, You've got to be getting, and he said, You're done with cycling.

He said, Third time's a charm, you are done.

And I just remember going, Yeah, and my kids, and everyone's and that was it.

That was the end of my cycling days for sure.

Except for, you know, being on a peloton, a stationary bike.

Yeah, but yeah, road is done.

Road is done.

SPEAKER_03: Wow.

SPEAKER_01: So for your listeners, yes, the crazy lady who did get on is now no longer everybody's gonna say that crazy, that crazy, that crazy.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.

So how did it end up going?

Did we have good news in the bleeding?

No, I did not need the brain surgery.

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The next morning they said, good for you.

The bleeding has stopped.

You will be here for another four days.

We're keeping you for observation.

And um my chin was a mess.

My chin was, my chin was horrible.

I had this big, like, round chin that was it had been like raspberry, you know, when you scrape, you know, when you're a kid, you scrape something and it's like it's not but it was bleeding, but not like deep, but it swelled and it was huge.

And I don't want to jump ahead in the podcast, but you know, I found out years later, because I kind of had this little pointy chin.

I kind of found out years later what was wrong with it.

And it turned out that that day I crashed, that there's a muscle called the mentalis muscle.

And the mentalis muscle is if you touch your chin right now, you kind of feel that little that little bit down there, kind of like the bottom of your chin, you know, it's kind of squishy.

SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01: That's a muscle right there.

And that muscle pulled away from the bone.

So if you pull yours, you can pull it down.

If you my muscle permanently pulled away from the bone, never knew that that happened in that crash, but it permanently pulled away.

So I didn't like it.

So, you know, three years ago, I had gone into a plastic surgeon to see if they could do anything about that.

And he that's when he told me about it.

He's like, Yeah, you've pulled your muscle away from the bone.

But he said, you know, we can you know kind of reattach it, kind of push it back up a little bit, and and I was like, Great, let's do that.

So on April 15th of 2021, so yes, remember that date.

Yes, I went in for that surgery to have that done.

And when they were prepping me for that surgery, I just wanted to have that little thing repaired.

So all I wanted, just put it back up there where it belongs.

And I'm supposed to be kind of relatively, you know, outpatient surgery.

My ex-husband was there, he actually took me to the surgery, and my daughter was gonna pick me up.

Anesthesiologist put a little put there in the IV in my hand, and he said, We're just gonna sedate you a little bit, get you a little calm before the procedure, and I said, Okay.

And that's the last thing I heard or knew until I woke up 36 hours later, intubated, so on a ventilator, with a tube down my throat, and my hands strapped to a table or to my bed, to my hospital bed.

And I woke up and my ex-husband was right there by my side, and the first thing I heard him say into my ear was, you really do have nine lives when he said, You really do have nine lives.

I remember thinking, what is he talking about?

And I couldn't talk, you know, but it's like you know, poor guy's gone through all three of these with me.

But I gotta tell you, you know, that was scary.

So I never had the surgery.

Bottom line is I never had this.

I still I still I still have the muscle that's hanging off of my chin.

But yeah, yeah.

So I I they oversedated me and my lungs collapsed basically, and almost died again.

And I am very that one I'm incredibly lucky to be alive from.

So they rushed me back to the trauma center, which is the same hospital that I've been in.

They saved my life.

I had to have two lung surgeries as a result of all that.

So yeah.

SPEAKER_00: Wow.

Wow, wow, wow.

Now, how long after your second the second crash on the bike was this this surgery?

SPEAKER_01: Uh that was about seven years, I guess.

Seven years.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

SPEAKER_01: So it's all within about a nine, nine, ten year span, I'm thinking.

I mean, I always think it's eight years.

I think it's always about it's 2013 to 2021.

So I guess that's uh that's nine years.

So nine year span.

So so that so the second crash was 2015, and then this was 2021.

So you're talking seven years, yeah, seven years, roughly, seven years after.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

So the time in between when you basically were told no more cycling, but you found a way to keep cycling, but without the fear of crashing on a stationary bike.

Um talk to me, talk to me a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01: Well, that's where the magic, that's where, that's where the you turn that lemon into lemonade.

So I loved this road.

I mean, it was very it was actually really hard to give that up because it wasn't just the bike, it was the it was the community I'd met, the people I'd met, the people, it's like you, you to you speak the similar language, you know, it's like the it's your tribe, it's your people.

And so I missed that.

I really missed that camaraderie.

That was hard, that was very challenging.

I needed to find something new, you know, that is gonna give me that.

So my kids, one of my kids said, you know, why don't you ride a stationary bike?

And that's when I said that, you know, and I was a teacher, I was a I was a bar instructor, like a Pilate Yoga kind of instructor, and I thought, why don't I look into becoming a spin instructor?

So I got spin certified, and then there was a studio that opened right around the corner of my house, and someone told me, hey, they're looking for spin instructors.

So I reached out to her, and I started, uh I taught there for six years until COVID, and then her studio unfortunately had a close.

But yeah, I became a spin instructor and loved it.

I mean, and I it was great because what I did in my rides is I would do the rides like I was taking people out on the road.

So, you know, and I still have people that'll well run into them and they're like, I used to love that ride when you take us on the back hill and you would take, and they still remember that, you know.

I would kind of say, Okay, well, we're gonna ride because I did so many cool rides around the area that I would say, well, now we're on this particular ride.

And I'd kind of mock them through it.

So it's like when we had to do a climb, we climbed and we'd sprint, and they were tough and they were fun, and we just, you know, the room was a sweat fest and it was great music and fun.

And I got such enjoyment out of that because I could really keep that, still bring that love of cycling and you know, keep those memories of my rides and bring the little fun anecdotes into it when I was riding and and it made it fun for them, you know, it made an hour go by so quick, and they loved it, and they got a great workout, and I pushed them and they pushed themselves.

And so that became that was actually really great.

So I taught, you know, spin a few days a week.

So that that was really great.

And then after the studio closed, and then COVID hit, you know, COVID, I ended up getting a Peloton bike, and that's become my like love that so I that's why I am with the cycling.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's it.

Amazing.

So now you're you're one of those Peloton people.

I hear about you people.

SPEAKER_02: Come on, join us, join us, join us, join us.

SPEAKER_01: You hear about it's true.

We're this weird, funky group of people, but it's true.

You and then you know what?

But it's a brilliant model because you have the same tribe because when you get on the bike, it's so different.

It's not like just riding a regular station.

I couldn't, I couldn't just get on a bike and ride on my own, I wouldn't do it.

But you've got the minute you get on, their instructors are inspiring, they're fun, the music's awesome, and you have this little leaderboard, you know, where people that are riding with you, you have your own little special name, and mine is Ladybug on Wheels, and you have these other ones, everyone's little leaderboard's name up there, so you're riding alongside with them, so you know there's people in there riding at the same time you are, and whether it's a live ride or virtual, and so you always feel like you're with people.

You're not like pushing against them, but you're riding with them, and so it feels really good, and it's really become that, you know, where I have it, the bike is in my bedroom, and I've got a big, really big window next to next to it, and so and I look out all into trees in my backyard, and because I back up to wild open open space, it's like honestly, I leave the window open, and I just feel honestly, it's my own little wave.

I feel like, you know, I kind of feel like I'm back, I'm back on the road, and I ride for a long time and short, whatever, it doesn't matter.

It's like I get that same, I I get a very similar feel.

It's really, it's really neat, Kevin.

I have to say I found this and I am grateful, I'm grateful to Peloton for this because it's given me that for sure.

And I know it's given a lot of people that.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I think that's really powerful.

And and what I think is really amazing is is I can't help but be so grateful that that you were able to find that because I know for myself, um, you know, when I went blind, I grew up on the back of a dirt bike.

And I rode dirt bikes my entire childhood.

And I mean, every day from from I'd get home from school, immediately I'd jump on my dirt bike or four-wheeler.

And um it was hard to lose that.

Yeah, you know, and so to hear that you were able to find a way to to come up with something new.

Obviously, it's not the same, but you found something new, you found the tribe.

I just think that's really amazing.

And I think it it speaks a lot about just you as a person, of your ability and willingness to adapt to new situations and to, you know, make the most out of it.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

You know, you just said the word you said is adapt, and that I gotta that word, because that's exactly right.

As you, look, I admire you.

And for anyone who knows you is listening to you and listens to you, you're a hero in my eyes.

What you have gone through in your life and what you have done and what you've created, this little empire you've created, you're really an amazing you're you are you are true, grit.

You are so inspirational.

And I find you to be fascinating, but it's true because in life it's about adapting, and that is what how I work with my clients.

It's things are gonna happen, but it's you adapt, and we can all adapt.

Adapt to change, and it's how we look at it because yeah, things are gonna happen, and initially it might seem scary, it might seem like, How am I gonna deal with this?

It certainly was when I realized that my marriage wasn't gonna work.

I didn't think I'd be here at 61, that I'd be single, having to recreate my life and start over.

And I'm sure you didn't think you know, when you were 15, you didn't think you'd be where you are today, but look what you've created.

Yeah.

Look at the gift and look at the gifts you brought to so many people.

And so you've adapted.

And I think that if as humans, just as they just as animals do out in the wilderness, you know, you adapt, you camouflage, you adapt yourself and to your surroundings and to what and you find the positive in it, because there is a positive in it.

All you have to do is go outside and breathe the fresh air and look up at the sky.

Nature has a very incredible way of bringing some power to your mind and your body.

And it's r it's free.

It's free, it doesn't cost anything.

Go outside, go for a walk, get out in nature, go by yourself, listen to it.

Hear, what are you listening to?

What do you hear?

Smell.

Like, what do you smell?

What is going on?

The sight, the sound, the sound, and the smell and the feel of it is enough.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: And it it's it's so empowering, and it's so healing for our bodies, so healing for our mind.

And I just I cannot express enough how important it is to really let yourself be outside and you know, and and take.

Nature's there to give.

Mother nature, she's an amazing, amazing thing.

Like it's there for us.

It's right there for us.

And it's one thing that I think, you know, I would love more people to take advantage of Mother Nature, take advantage of our earth.

It's a beautiful place and honor it and take care of it the way we want to honor and take care of our bodies.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.

So that makes me think that you need to get onto Peloton and they need to do one of those crazy, like 4D experiences where it starts like spraying water at your face or shooting wind at you, making you think, you know.

SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love it.

Yes, because I used to ride in the rain too.

Craziness.

I would, I mean, I didn't want to, but sometimes I wouldn't get home in time, and then rain would come in.

It was like, oh god, and I get, you know, but I had a couple days where that was like, you know, that I didn't like because I do not like riding the web the ground grounding weapon.

Yes, you're right.

We could totally have the the wind, the rain.

You can't have truck sounds and everybody know that horns honking, all the horns.

SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.

Yeah, so you can really make it really, really virtual.

You know, people like, you know.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, you just you just let me know, Wendy.

I'll come over, I'll set up a box stand in front of you, that'll be the win.

I'll I'll have a little horn behind you, you know.

We'll start honking, you know.

I know.

SPEAKER_02: I wish you would totally you can be my you can be my little wingback and you can be back there doing all that.

But um, yeah, I'm gonna get one.

I'm gonna get another one, have you come over and I'm gonna have you ride.

SPEAKER_00: Exactly.

SPEAKER_01: That would be because the fact that you were the fact it wouldn't it be so fun?

The fact that you were a dirt biker, so you get it.

You get that freedom of being on, that being outside is you love that, right?

You get that, you know that that kind of I don't want to use the word that that rush, but it's it is, it's a certain, it's the feeling of openness, you know.

And I get it now, like I hike.

So now hiking's become a big part of my life, long walks, you know, or just hiking and just being again where it's challenging.

I challenge myself.

It's not easy, it's hard to do some of these things, you know.

I can't go as far, I can't go 70 miles, but you know, I can at least get a good chunk in.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I think it comes back to the theme that we've spoken about of freedom, you know?

SPEAKER_01: Freedom.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

Well, talk to me, Wendy, about what you do today with with your career as a, you know, I think you do like fitness and wholeness.

Instructor, talk to me a little bit more about that.

SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, yes.

So I have been a fitness instructor for 15 years, so I still teach, and I love that.

And I it gives me just I I love I love educating, I love teaching, I love supporting people, love helping people find their true inner self, their best self, and to feel the best self.

And I love to inspire, just like you do.

And so I became a health and wellness coach because I really felt that kind of brought all my things together.

And that's what I do now.

So, you know, building that little that business of health and wellness coaching, and it's holistic, right?

So it's not just about physical nutrition, what are you putting in your mouth or how much you, you know, what kind of movement are you getting in your day?

It's it's so much more.

It's about spiritual nutrition, it's about intellectual nutrition, you know, what are you feeding your brain?

What are you feeding your soul?

What are you spiritual, how are you spiritually, you know, and that could be nature, could be it, you know, it is for me.

But all these different, how are you in your career, in your in your your occupational world, you know, how are you feeding yourself?

You know, where do you rank them on a scale of one to ten?

You know, where are you?

And so that's how I work with people to really kind of find that balance, because it's when we find that balance, that's when we're really whole.

That's when we're well.

Because, you know, you will learn, you can read and hear wellness experts will say, you know, wellness is not the absence of disease.

Just because we're not sick, just because we don't have diabetes, or we don't have heart cancer, you know, heart heart issues or cancer, does not mean we're well.

Yes, we may be, quote, you know, we're free of it.

Yes, we're free of disease.

But how do you just really just get on that continuum, that wellness continuum, to say what makes you really well and healthy?

And that's my quest.

And that's how I feel, that's where I'm going.

That's what I'm always gonna be working toward.

And I feel better and better now than I've ever felt.

I really feel like I'm, but I'm not there yet.

I still feel like I've got ways to or you know, room to grow, and I want to keep educating myself and I keep learning, and I want to keep educating my brain, and I want to keep that going, and I want to keep my intellectual health going.

So that's how I work with my with my clients and I work with people.

You know, I've been doing podcasts more, which I really, really love this.

I am gonna be doing some motivational speaking next week at a at a conference on the East Coast, so we're doing it virtually, which I'm super excited about.

So yeah, that's kind of my, you know, and I'm a mom.

And my mom, that's my first and foremost love is being a mom.

And yeah, that's what I'm doing in my world, Kevin.

That's what I'm doing in my world.

SPEAKER_00: Well, I I love that.

Now, do you work with people virtually, like from anywhere, or is it just people local?

SPEAKER_01: Where yes, yes, yes, yes.

No, virtually.

As a matter of fact, even I do have local clients, but it's all virtual.

We do everything via Zoom, which thank goodness for Zoom, we love that.

Which is nice because it, you know, the sessions are 30 minutes and it's kind of a nice, although, you know, I do have to say, like, one client will do a um, she does live nearby, and so we walk, we'll do a 30-minute walk because one of her things is she wants to get more movement.

So instead of us doing a 30-minute sit-down call, I'm like, why let's go on a walk?

So we walk for a 30-minute session, and it's been it's been great, it's really nice.

We really, really enjoy that.

She really enjoys it.

And sometimes we'll go for about 45 minutes, but it's great because it gets it, it kind of kills two birds with one stone.

You know, it takes the time about, it takes our time together, and it gets it gets her outside as well.

So that's been really, really good.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: The majority, yeah, majority is virtual.

So yes, I can work with people anywhere, anywhere across the globe.

SPEAKER_00: Well, that's amazing.

Well, for somebody who might be interested, where's the best place for us to send them to learn more?

SPEAKER_01: They can go to my web.

Yeah, please, my website, which is wendyfeldmanwellness.com, just wendyfeldmanwellness.com, or social media is Wendy Feldman with an underscore and then wellness.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, amazing.

Well, I will be sure that that is in the show notes along with everything else on the website, all the places.

But Wendy, I have one last question.

Is with all that you've gone through, you know, these these near-death experiences, the personal struggles of just life, of of marriage, of divorce, of of being a parent, all this stuff.

If you could talk to yourself before all of this happened, what would you have loved that you could have told her knowing what you know now?

SPEAKER_01: Huh, there's a lot.

And that's it, I that is such a powerful, such a great question.

I think I would say, Wendy, don't try to be perfect, don't try to be someone you're not, resist the temptation to say yes to others when it means saying no to yourself, and resist that temptation to say no to others for fear of disappointing them.

Watch the people pleasing aspect.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

I love it.

SPEAKER_01: Just really watch out for that.

I think all those things I learned in the last ten years, and especially in the last, you know, well yeah, ten years.

I learned all about all those things.

That if I had told myself that younger, the younger Wendy, yeah.

I wouldn't change my life, Kevin.

That's the thing.

See, we evolved, right?

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't change it because I love what I have right now.

SPEAKER_03: Yes.

SPEAKER_01: And I've got the most three most amazing children, so I would know I would not change it.

Though it might have changed it, put things in different perspective.

Yeah.

You know, it might have, it might have altered different things.

So I think those things, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: I think that's what I would tell her.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.

Well, you know what?

It goes back to the conversation that me and you had before we ever started recording today.

Is that we can't control what happens in this life, but we can't control how we react to it.

And you, Mrs.

Lindy, have reacted in the most amazing of ways of adapting.

We talked about the importance of that, of evolving and continuing to evolve into the person that you've become and the person that you will be.

And I think it's a pretty darn beautiful journey that you've been on.

SPEAKER_01: Kevin, I am honestly, I wish I could talk to you forever.

It's like I feel so I I have chills.

I the world is is blessed to have Kevin Lowe in their presence.

And I hope that more and more people, certainly, I am all cheerleader go, Kevin, because you're a true inspiration to me.

And today has been has just solidified all of that.

And I will do whatever I can to help you in your life and and build your own career and your business because I think what you have gone through and how you have flipped your narrative and how you have flipped your script is so many people can learn from that.

And if we could all be as strong as the Kevin Lowe, I think we'd be, gosh, this world would be in a really great place.

SPEAKER_00: Wendy, you're amazing.

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01: You're amazing.

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

Well, for you listening today, I guess at this point I ask you, what did you take away?

Did you come away inspired?

Were you left empowered?

Or maybe were you just left to look at your own life from a different view?

Starting to view the challenges you go through is not bad things.

No, they're just things.

And it all depends on how we react to it, how you react to it.

I hope today that it left you thinking about you and your life, because that's what this is all about.

My friend, I'm Kevin Hello, and this is another amazing interview here on Grit Grace and Inspiration.

You get out there and enjoy the day.

Stay awesome and live in fire.