#361: Inspirational Story: A Father’s Journey of Love, Emotional Healing & His Son's Lasting Legacy

Kevin Lowe: Today, my friend, is one of those stories.

Kevin Lowe: It's an interview with a father talking about his son.

Kevin Lowe: Today's guest is Christopher Cochran, but the story is about his son, Christian Cochran.

Kevin Lowe: Today is going to be a lesson in how to live, but also how to die, all taught to us by a young man who left this world too soon.

Kevin Lowe: And yet, in some way, it was like it was all planned out this way because.

Kevin Lowe: Well, he packed a lot into the years that he was here on Earth.

Kevin Lowe: And the legacy he leaves behind is far lasting.

Kevin Lowe: It made an impact on me the moment that I heard about this story.

Kevin Lowe: When I sat down and I had Christopher Cochran on the podcast and we recorded today's episode, it totally changed my life.

Kevin Lowe: And my friend, I can only hope and pray that it's going to do the same for you.

Kevin Lowe: Because by the end of today's episode, I'm going to have you waking up tomorrow morning, asking yourself a very important, yet so simple of a question.

Kevin Lowe: What's good about today?

Kevin Lowe: With that, my friend, I welcome you to an episode that I hope is going to completely change your life from this day forward.

Kevin Lowe: I welcome you to episode 361. Hey, I'm your host, Kevin Lowe, and you are listening to Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

Kevin Lowe: I am here in the studio today with a guy I have been so excited to get to talk to again.

Kevin Lowe: Chris, welcome to the podcast, man.

Christopher Cochran: Hey, thank you so much, Kevin. I'm so excited to be here with you.

Christopher Cochran: And I knew we were getting together again.

Christopher Cochran: The other time was, of course, off air, but just excited to talk to you.

Christopher Cochran: You always bring such a light to so many conversations. So thank you again.

Kevin Lowe: Oh, man, I appreciate that very much. Well, well, listen, so obviously the story of your son, Christian, is going to be a big part of our conversation today.

Kevin Lowe: But before even just diving into his story specifically, would you mind just kind of giving me an overview of your family before diagnoses, before any of that drama?

Kevin Lowe: What was just family like for you?

Christopher Cochran: Yeah, I grew up in central Pennsylvania in a small town called Camp Hill, Pennsylvania.

Christopher Cochran: I have four brothers. I had two loving parents.

Christopher Cochran: My parents were good people. My mother was a church-going woman, so I spent my Sundays going to church.

Christopher Cochran: Even when I didn't want to, my mother would make sure I was there.

Christopher Cochran: I grew up very competitively in a competitive environment with brothers.

Christopher Cochran: I was a wrestler in high school.

Christopher Cochran: I wrestled in college at the University of Tennessee.

Christopher Cochran: And so I was raised, you know, in this atmosphere. My father was a Navy guy.

Christopher Cochran: He was a frogman, which predates the seal.

Christopher Cochran: So you can imagine growing up in this atmosphere of very loving, very tough, and really driving me to be a better person.

Christopher Cochran: And so I made my way through high school, like lots of people.

Christopher Cochran: And I was very blessed that this is now 40 years ago. So I was invited to a party by a good friend of mine. His name's Brian.

Christopher Cochran: It was an upperclassman party. I got to go to the party. As I entered the party, I was going up a flight of stairs.

Christopher Cochran: We passed these two girls coming down the stairs. It's the second girl that I made eye contact with.

Christopher Cochran: And we had a sparkle, you know, sort of like being that this was the 80s, like a slowdown version of a movie where you have this connection with someone.

Christopher Cochran: We didn't talk at all. We didn't say anything. I knew she was an upperclassman.

Christopher Cochran: Two grades ahead of me, but the next day, I never talked to her that night, but the next day she showed up at my house I wasn't there. She left a note on a paper plate with my little brother.

Christopher Cochran: And he gave me that note and said, this girl came by, she was driving a really beautiful car, Mercedes, and he was more enamored by that.

Christopher Cochran: But the name stood out. Her name was Danielle.

Christopher Cochran: And I said, Danielle, why would she be reaching out to me?

Christopher Cochran: And so I decided to make this phone call. And I'm glad I did.

Christopher Cochran: We decided to go on a date. She asked me out to the movies. We went to the movies and we had a beautiful relationship, continue to have that. I'm married to her.

Christopher Cochran: We've been married now, what, 30 years? We dated for 10.

Christopher Cochran: And so we started the American dream.

Christopher Cochran: We dreamed of having children. And that led us to the point where we had three beautiful children.

Christopher Cochran: And so it continues to this day that we are together and sharing life's journeys of ups and downs.

Christopher Cochran: And certainly, as we'll talk about, the journey of losing our firstborn child, Christian, but I came from a good family and I'm very blessed to have had that along the way.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, I love it so much. Talk to me a little bit about your three kids.

Kevin Lowe: I'd love to hear a little bit about each one of them.

Christopher Cochran: So Christian is our oldest. He is 26. My daughter is 25.

Christopher Cochran: She's located in Norfolk, Virginia. She is the wife of a naval officer who actually serves overseas on the USS Cole right now in the Middle East.

Christopher Cochran: So he's definitely involved in things that are going on over there.

Christopher Cochran: He's on deployment. My younger son, Nicholas, is currently enrolled as a junior at the University of Indiana, Pennsylvania.

Christopher Cochran: That's where all my kids went to school. And so all of them are wonderful kids, all different.

Christopher Cochran: They always say, when you have these kids, you think they're going to be somewhat similar, but they couldn't be more different from one another and how they go about things.

Christopher Cochran: So it does challenge you as a parent as you navigate this life, but they're all wonderful children. And I love seeing them every moment I get.

Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. I just, I wanted to ask that question just because as we continue our conversation today, I just want to be sure that I recognize the fact that what happens as we talk about the story about your son, Christian, I'm sure it's something that has impacted your entire family, each one individually, as well as a whole.

Kevin Lowe: And so as we go today, I just want everyone to understand that we're not just talking about you and your son, we're talking about a family.

Christopher Cochran: Yeah, absolutely. All of us have been affected by this.

Christopher Cochran: We still continue to this day, and it's only been three years, but we navigate, but we're close. You know, that's the thing.

Christopher Cochran: You know, we support one another, and that's critical when you go through things like this.

Christopher Cochran: And we all have our ways of navigating grief and how we go about it.

Christopher Cochran: It's not an easy task by any means, but we're not going to be able to do it.

Christopher Cochran: But we love one another and we've always been close.

Christopher Cochran: So it's just an extenuation of things.

Christopher Cochran: But much like life, you just you have these difficult moments as everyone's going to have.

Christopher Cochran: Right. It's it's inevitable in this life that everyone things are going to turn on a dime.

Christopher Cochran: And the question is, how do you react to it? How do you approach life going forward after that?

Christopher Cochran: Do you give up? Do you not give up? How do you interact with others?

Christopher Cochran: And so, yeah, I have a beautiful family that has been hit by this tremendously, and we all do it in different ways, but we're there to support each other.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. Well, I guess if you wouldn't mind, would you kind of start diving into the story about your son, Christian?

Kevin Lowe: Obviously, the whole reason that we're here is because of him and the life he lived and the legacy he's left. And so I would love for you to kind of take it from where you think the best part is, is to start to share his story.

Christopher Cochran: Well, Christian, yeah, I love talking about Christian. I love talking about my kids. So all of them, by the way.

Christopher Cochran: But Christian in particular, obviously first born, you know, after we got married and for a couple of years enjoyed the blissful life of marriage, we decided to have a child.

Christopher Cochran: We knew right from the get-go we were going to name him Christian because we knew he was destined for extraordinary things and felt the name was fitting for him.

Christopher Cochran: Ever since he was born, he was extraordinarily different from everyone else.

Christopher Cochran: He had this innate ability to show empathy for others.

Christopher Cochran: Even as a young child, it was quite extraordinary. We would always refer to him as Mr. Comfort.

Christopher Cochran: And he could comfort my wife when she was going through her birth with the other children when they were born, just to let her know that he loved her and he was proud of her.

Christopher Cochran: And it's something unusual you see in a child.

Christopher Cochran: So even as Christian was getting older, and I remember when he was eight years old, the first day at the bus stop, you know, all kids are clamoring to get on that bus, but not Christian.

Christopher Cochran: He wanted all his friends to get on first. They all would want to be next to each other.

Christopher Cochran: And he would then let the special needs kids go on next. And he would always be the last one.

Christopher Cochran: And he did that because it brought him joy to see others find joy.

Christopher Cochran: Right. And so much of this world we're filled with what's good for me.

Christopher Cochran: What can I get out of this? And that's not how he operated. even as a young boy.

Christopher Cochran: And so that carried on. Even as a teenager, we witnessed things and how he was giving all of himself to others, whether it was through a smile, laughter.

Christopher Cochran: He was extremely funny. He just brought he just when he walked into a room, he lit it up and you wanted to spend time with him because you just were drawn in to his presence.

Christopher Cochran: And so ultimately, you know, Christian went to college.

Christopher Cochran: He went to Indiana University of Pennsylvania, graduated from the honors college there. He came back in 2020 at the end of 2020.

Christopher Cochran: And I remember this was during COVID and he had some back pain and we treated it as such.

Christopher Cochran: We saw doctors. They said it was nothing because he was incredibly healthy kid.

Christopher Cochran: And ultimately the pain had gotten so great. We eventually went and got tests, had to have CT scans.

Christopher Cochran: We were brought into a room. This was during COVID. It was just myself and Christian.

Christopher Cochran: And the doctors all walked in, their faces were covered. You could only see their eyes.

Christopher Cochran: But I knew as soon as they walked in the door, they were about to deliver the news, the worst news possible for Christian and ultimately what we were all going to have to deal with as a family.

Christopher Cochran: And they told him that he had a cancer and ultimately it was a terminal cancer.

Christopher Cochran: He had a grapefruit sized tumor on his liver.

Christopher Cochran: And I'll never forget the first of many acts of superpower. Christian looked at me, my knees were buckling. He put his hand on my and he said, Don't worry, everything's going to be okay. And he calmly asked the doctors how much time he had to live.

Christopher Cochran: They didn't want to answer that question. And of course, I had to go home and we had to have this discussion with his mom. And when we told Christian how sorry we were, how difficult this was, he said, it's okay, mom and dad.

Christopher Cochran: I wouldn't want this on anyone. This is my burden and it's okay.

Christopher Cochran: He was very accepting of it and not a moment from the day he was diagnosed, which was August 26th of 2020 to the moment that he took his last breath with us around him here at home on September 1st of 2021, almost a little over a year, did he ever complain once?

Christopher Cochran: He never said, why me? Why did this happen to me?

Christopher Cochran: Quite the contrary. He would remind us every day, he would say, what's good about today? With a question.

Christopher Cochran: And when we were down, he would say, what's good about today.

Christopher Cochran: And it would help us remind us that there is beauty. There is wonder.

Christopher Cochran: There's so many special things that are in this day that we have to focus on, not the negative.

Christopher Cochran: And there are plenty of bad days, but we try to focus on the good because it's a choice, right? It's a choice we can all make.

Christopher Cochran: And Christian left that legacy with us. And so that's what inspired myself, of course, to write the book, What's Good About Today, A Purpose Driven Life, to document this love story as a family. So that's Christian.

Kevin Lowe: Wow. Remind me again how old he was when you guys received this diagnosis.

Christopher Cochran: So Christian was diagnosed at 22 years of age.

Christopher Cochran: Like I said, just graduating college, ready to take off. He was I glowed on him. And I always hear that tap on my shoulder.

Christopher Cochran: Dad, don't talk too much about me because he was so humble, you know, but you're a dad. This is what you do.

Christopher Cochran: You talk about your kids. You love your kids. But he was so talented.

Christopher Cochran: I mean, the most important part is that he was so loving and caring and loved us as parents and loved his family. But he was a talented actor on stage.

Christopher Cochran: He was always the lead in every musical, every play. He had already been in a major motion picture of the Batman movie.

Christopher Cochran: And actually, he was a paid actor in that movie. And so he was ready to take off.

Christopher Cochran: He was doing so many wonderful things with his life and making an impact.

Christopher Cochran: But yeah, hit it 22, passed away. actually at the age of 23 on his sister's birthday, Kate, September 1st, which I'm not surprised about.

Christopher Cochran: They were extremely close. They were 15 months apart.

Christopher Cochran: So he died on that day.

Kevin Lowe: Wow. How do you as a parent even begin that year to be told that your son has a year to live, especially for the fact that we're not supposed to know when we're going to die?

Kevin Lowe: And yet you guys found that out.

Kevin Lowe: How do you even how do you even keep living for that year?

Christopher Cochran: Well, I think our motivation was to try to save Christian. Right.

Christopher Cochran: There was a less than one percent chance he could even make it to five years.

Christopher Cochran: So I knew the odds were stacked against us. I never told my wife and my kids the statistics. Right.

Christopher Cochran: I knew what they were. I had private conversations with doctors that this was not going to be an easy journey.

Christopher Cochran: But we threw everything we could to save Christian.

Christopher Cochran: And Christian entrusted his family, trusted my wife and I, his aunt and his uncle, to, we called it the CC Advisory Group, to focus on a 24-7 operation where we researched every possible avenue to save his life, whether it was experimental drugs.

Christopher Cochran: Certainly, immediately, we got him on the standard of care in this world.

Christopher Cochran: The standard of care in cancer is chemotherapy.

Christopher Cochran: And you go right to that. Literally, I think we found out on a Saturday or Friday.

Christopher Cochran: By Monday, he was on it. And he was being hit with the most powerful chemotherapy drugs that were out there.

Christopher Cochran: And we were just trying to knock this thing down.

Christopher Cochran: And it's such a strong cancer. He had what's called cholangiocarcinoma.

Christopher Cochran: And it's, by definition, it's called bio-duck cancer.

Christopher Cochran: The bio-duck is connected to the liver, but ultimately it's what filters out all the badness in our body.

Christopher Cochran: But you can imagine it already at stage four, grapefruit size on his liver, had already had started to spread to his lymph nodes.

Christopher Cochran: He had ultimately kept it at bay for months, but we knew that this was, the chemo was not gonna be the answer.

Christopher Cochran: So we were always researching DNA, RNA factors, we went to every DNA facilities to the molecular level to break down his DNAs and find out if there were any drugs on the market that could sustain his life.

Christopher Cochran: And we did, here's the thing about this cancer.

Christopher Cochran: It's only really seen mostly in older people, and in Southeast Asia. Not a kid in Northwest Pennsylvania, right?

Christopher Cochran: It's just not something you see. So it was extremely unusual.

Christopher Cochran: And we just knew that we were up against some major odds. He did too.

Christopher Cochran: I think he knew even when he was diagnosed what was going on.

Christopher Cochran: He had already accepted this, I think, a long time ago, even before he had cancer.

Christopher Cochran: I think he lived such a big life.

Christopher Cochran: So I think he understood that. So I think for us, our focus to answer your question is we focused on Christian.

Christopher Cochran: That's what kept us going. We had hope. You always have hope, right?

Christopher Cochran: You always feel like you're going to be that outlier. But Christian knew, and I'd had private conversations with him. He knew his time was coming to an end.

Christopher Cochran: And so, but that's tough. It's tough to keep in as a parent and stuff to, but to remain hopeful, right?

Christopher Cochran: And tell him like, Like, hey, we're going to keep moving forward.

Kevin Lowe: At what point did you come to the realization that he wasn't going to get better?

Christopher Cochran: Well, I think probably I'm going to say three months prior to his passing.

Christopher Cochran: I think that nothing was working.

Christopher Cochran: The cancer had spread to his bones recently.

Christopher Cochran: We knew, I knew of extremely aggressive cancer. But I think, you know, look, I still held out hope even three months in it.

Christopher Cochran: I think about a month and a half prior was when you could really see Christian's cancer take over his body.

Christopher Cochran: And there's nothing worse. My son, and people can see pictures of him.

Christopher Cochran: He's absolutely gorgeous kid.

Christopher Cochran: He's a beautiful kid and curly brown hair and brown eyes and just the best smile ever.

Christopher Cochran: But when you see that dwindle away what cancer does to someone, it just takes their body and it debilitates them down. He couldn't walk.

Christopher Cochran: His bones were being affected. Everything was being invaded by the cancer.

Christopher Cochran: And so you see a beautiful child just sort of fade away in terms of his body, not his mind. He still had his mind.

Christopher Cochran: So those are kind of the different points. It's different moments.

Christopher Cochran: You know, I think you go through that process of, hey, we had good results and you hang on to that and then you don't. But yeah.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. During this time, this year that you guys had in the midst of cancer treatment, the sadness of it all.

Kevin Lowe: Talk to me about some of the times that you look back on and that they make you smile.

Kevin Lowe: That something maybe that Christian did that he said and experienced?

Kevin Lowe: Because I know there has to be moments that you smile.

Christopher Cochran: Oh, yeah. Wow, there's so many. I mean, that's the thing about Christian is he never, like I said, never complained, but he was always making jokes and having fun, making us laugh, making others laugh.

Christopher Cochran: He always wanted to be all of himself when someone would come visit Christian.

Christopher Cochran: Remember, this is during COVID, right?

Christopher Cochran: So when someone would come to see him, it was tough for Christian because he's the entertainer and he wants he doesn't want you to feel sad for him.

Christopher Cochran: He never wanted to be that kid with cancer.

Christopher Cochran: He used to tell me like, Dad, I don't want to be known for that.

Christopher Cochran: You know, I don't want to be known for that. I want to be known for positivity and the good things. And so he would always do things to make us laugh.

Christopher Cochran: He loved video games. So I remember setting him up in near our living room so I could have visual of him.

Christopher Cochran: So I never lost touch with Christian. I never wanted to miss a reaction.

Christopher Cochran: His laughter with his friends talking on TeamSpeak or something.

Christopher Cochran: He had this infectious laugh.

Christopher Cochran: But I will tell you a story. Christian, we went on a walk together and we would go on these different walks when he could walk just to keep his health up.

Christopher Cochran: And I remember going on this walk and Christian said to me, I said, I said to Christian, I said, Christian, do you have any regrets in life?

Christopher Cochran: Do you have anything that you wish you had done differently?

Christopher Cochran: And I remember Christian looking at me seriously and saying, yeah, I have a regret.

Christopher Cochran: And I hung on every moment of that because I was like, to me, Christian was such a philosopher of life and understood it so well.

Christopher Cochran: He said, I said, well, what is it? He said, I wish I hadn't done so much homework.

Christopher Cochran: And I started laughing. I said, Christian, I go, come on, tell me what are you regretting? Is there anything? He says, no, dad.

Christopher Cochran: I just wish I hadn't done so much homework. Look where I'm at.

Christopher Cochran: I did too much homework during this time.

Christopher Cochran: And it made me chuckle. It was a joke. And it was the way he brought levity to a situation. He always had a way of bringing things back into order.

Christopher Cochran: And so it's just his normal, he had such a great comedic timing and how to approach things.

Christopher Cochran: And so that I remember very distinctly and how he brought lots of laughs to everyone who was around him, especially his family.

Kevin Lowe: You know, I listened to this and I think Christian, he was...

Kevin Lowe: The let's say the patient the person who's sick and yet he's also the one who wants to be sure that everybody around him is okay he doesn't want you guys to be sad that's powerful.

Christopher Cochran: Yeah yeah he always he always did that even up to the uh again a they're tough moments the last three weeks of his life when he could speak he i remember him saying dad he was so knowledge he was so mature and he, and he said, dad, you've got two beautiful children to take care of and you're going to, they're going to need you more than ever during this time.

Christopher Cochran: And so he, yeah, he, he was, and here he is thinking about his brother and sister, thinking about me and his mom.

Christopher Cochran: And so he didn't think in terms of, you know, what's next for, you know, he knew where he was going.

Christopher Cochran: He knew what was next. And he, and we had those conversations where he knew he's going after this. He was very confident in that.

Christopher Cochran: To him, honestly, death was just another journey.

Christopher Cochran: It wasn't a problem for him. He took it as an adventure, the biggest adventure of his life.

Christopher Cochran: He loved adventures. He had traveled the world, studied abroad, been to India.

Christopher Cochran: So this was just another journey for him. But he did care about everybody and how they felt. That was the biggest impact for him.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. So, so amazing.

Kevin Lowe: And what a just an amazing son that you raised.

Kevin Lowe: What you just said, it really just kind of segues into the next kind of question I wanted to ask you to talk about was, how do you guys do some outreach?

Kevin Lowe: I know you guys did something with your church and you set up an organization.

Kevin Lowe: Talk to me about that whole aspect.

Christopher Cochran: Yeah, we set up what's called the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund.

Christopher Cochran: It's through the Pittsburgh Foundation. I should actually say we didn't set this up. My son Christian set it up, if you can believe that.

Christopher Cochran: Prior to his death, he wanted us to set up a foundation that stuck to his core values, his mission, which was to care for others, to give to others that are less fortunate.

Christopher Cochran: He loved animals. He loved nature.

Christopher Cochran: So he is really the person who set the foundation up. He guided me in where I needed to go, knowing this was the ultimate outcome.

Christopher Cochran: And he also wanted us to make sure we gave back to a church.

Christopher Cochran: This is a church called St.

Christopher Cochran: Stanislav's. It's the oldest Polish church in Pittsburgh. It's located in downtown Pittsburgh.

Christopher Cochran: It's located in the most urban and awesome area of Pittsburgh.

Christopher Cochran: It's the hottest area in Pittsburgh, big crowds.

Christopher Cochran: And right next to the church on the main street and 21st Street.

Christopher Cochran: You cannot miss this. There are six boulders that are each a ton in weight that have holes drilled through them with water coming out through the top and pouring over these rocks with a beautiful angel in the middle and a beautiful plaque called the What's Good About Today fountain.

Christopher Cochran: It has a picture of Christian. It talks about Christian's legacy.

Christopher Cochran: And on those things, he said, be kind to everyone because you never know what someone is going through.

Christopher Cochran: And so that's written there it's in bronze it's it's beautiful picture of him but it's seen by thousands and thousands and thousands of people across this country and the world we've heard from people from all over the world who have seen this and come and it's become a bit of a destination where people come to pittsburgh they see this it's a beautiful landscape and it's a it's a testament to what christian wanted us to get back to the church to the city of Pittsburgh.

Christopher Cochran: And through the foundation, through the church, the diocese did it only six months after Christian's passing.

Christopher Cochran: So you can imagine for you to get the diocese blessing to take up land that they own to put it on the most prominent area of Pittsburgh so everyone can visually see this, that was important.

Christopher Cochran: And the thing is important to know is Christian was a Christian, obviously, but he was very spiritual.

Christopher Cochran: He loved all faiths. He loved all people. He's the most inclusive individual you ever met.

Christopher Cochran: And so that's what this talks about. It talks about Christian loving all people and to bringing them into positivity.

Christopher Cochran: And we're real proud of that, proud what Christian put together and what he wanted to do.

Christopher Cochran: We just follow in his mantra and he's always the guiding light there.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. In terms of that and following in his mantra, how has it been for you to, as a parent, after his passing, to not just want to close up and to not just lock away the world and kind of forget about everything else.

Kevin Lowe: And instead to be very outgoing with this.

Kevin Lowe: I mean, obviously there's times, many times by yourself, the quiet family, but the fact that you've kept going. You've written this book.

Kevin Lowe: You guys pursued this with this amazing fountain.

Kevin Lowe: How do you feel like you did that?

Christopher Cochran: I wouldn't be honest or candid if I didn't tell you that the first year and a half, I wasn't a mess, that I wasn't the best that I could be.

Christopher Cochran: I don't think any of us were. We were in a daze. You're numb.

Christopher Cochran: Christian's clothes are here in this house, right? His room has not changed since he came home from college. His clothes are there.

Christopher Cochran: His shoes are outside in the garage.

Christopher Cochran: You know, there's nothing that's changed. On our street, people have green lights in there.

Christopher Cochran: All the way down the street, there are lanterns that people still have that Christian's favorite color was green that you see every night illuminate the streets.

Christopher Cochran: So I'm always reminded of that. We are, as a family, reminded of that.

Christopher Cochran: But for the first year to year and a half, I was not a healthy individual.

Christopher Cochran: And not that I'm a drinker, but I certainly turn to anything that would take me away that would allow me to fall asleep.

Christopher Cochran: But I always remind myself of a quote.

Christopher Cochran: Bruce Lee used to say a quote and it was powerful for me. It's a simple quote.

Christopher Cochran: Don't pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.

Christopher Cochran: And I used to say that to myself all the time because life is not easy. Life, it's tough.

Christopher Cochran: But I think knowing what I know of Christian you said it earlier which he wants us to be happy he wants us to be joyful I think happiness sometimes is an elusive state for anybody right I I look back and I was extremely happy then. Am I happy today?

Christopher Cochran: No. I mean, I'm joyful moments. I have moments, pockets of joy that I try to build my heart up.

Christopher Cochran: But to sit here and say that I'm happy, no, because I still struggle with it.

Christopher Cochran: I struggle talking about it. I struggle. But I know at the heart of it is Christian.

Christopher Cochran: And it's him telling me to push.

Christopher Cochran: He's telling me, you have to be out there to help people. The message is too important.

Christopher Cochran: That life is so precious. Life is so good. And if we narrow it down to the simplest things that in our day, which it is, right?

Christopher Cochran: You can have bad days, but you can find beauty in those days.

Christopher Cochran: That's what drives me. That's what drives my family, drives my wife, you know, and my kids.

Christopher Cochran: And so I don't think there's any other, to your point, which is either, and a lot of people statistically break up. marriages break up when things like this happen.

Christopher Cochran: It's well over 50% that marriages fall apart and families come apart because of the grief. It's just so intense.

Christopher Cochran: But we fought through it to stay loving.

Christopher Cochran: I know it's such a cliche, you put one foot in front of the other, and it really is.

Christopher Cochran: You have to just get up and focus on what you can do good today.

Christopher Cochran: And Christian had this wonderful thing. Christian didn't have to-do list. He had to love list.

Christopher Cochran: And so I think it's such a powerful thing that when I get up and we get up as family, we don't have these to-do lists. Like I gotta get this done.

Christopher Cochran: I gotta to love somebody. How do I love someone better?

Christopher Cochran: How do I put more good into this world that's negative in so many ways?

Christopher Cochran: So I just do what Christian does and follow that. And that's the point of the book is that I tried to document those ways.

Christopher Cochran: That you can do exactly the same thing.

Kevin Lowe: Wow. Before we dive into the book, because that was honestly my next question, but you spoke about the house, about his bedroom, about the shoes in the garage.

Kevin Lowe: You mentioned earlier that Christian actually passed away at home.

Kevin Lowe: Typically, we think of somebody being sick like that, maybe being in the hospital.

Christopher Cochran: Yeah.

Kevin Lowe: Was that a choice that you guys made?

Christopher Cochran: It's a great question. You know, that's the first question. I've been a lot of podcasts, lots of interviews.

Christopher Cochran: No one's ever asked me that question. I think it's because they're worried of what, you know, how's that going to come out?

Christopher Cochran: It's a great question. I'm glad you asked it, by the way.

Christopher Cochran: So it was a choice. It was a choice by Christian. It was a choice by all of us.

Christopher Cochran: There was no way, no way that Christian was going to pass away in a hospital.

Christopher Cochran: I didn't want that. He didn't want that. I wanted him surrounded by the love of his pets.

Christopher Cochran: The home he was raised in where all the joy was.

Christopher Cochran: That was important that we had that. Now, I will tell you three weeks prior, the cancer had spread to his spine and there was a real chance he was going to be, you know, paralyzed because the cancer was so aggressive.

Christopher Cochran: So God bless Christian.

Christopher Cochran: We talked about this. There was something they could do, a procedure, not a very painful type of situation on the spine to allow that not to happen so that he could be at home with us.

Christopher Cochran: And we surrounded him. I'll tell you something that's – and I talk about it, so it's not something I'll talk about. but there was a night when we thought Christian's breathing had come very slow and we surrounded him.

Christopher Cochran: And this is a testament to Christian's humor here.

Christopher Cochran: We surrounded him. It was probably four, three o'clock in the morning.

Christopher Cochran: I woke up everybody because I slept next to Christian in the living room and his girlfriend did too.

Christopher Cochran: She had flown in. She stayed with us for well over a month to stay next to him.

Christopher Cochran: And we surrounded him praying. We had candles, just telling him how much We loved him.

Christopher Cochran: And at about six o'clock, his eyes open, looked at all of us.

Christopher Cochran: And he said, we said, Hey, Christian. And he said, he says, did I miss something?

Christopher Cochran: Did something happen? Like, and he just had this, it was in a way of being funny.

Christopher Cochran: And we, we laughed and we said, well, Christian, we thought this was it.

Christopher Cochran: And he's like, we said, we called the priest to come over here and the last rites.

Christopher Cochran: And Christian said, Oh, you tell him, save, save the trip. I'm okay right now.

Christopher Cochran: You know he just you know here he is he's literally at the final point he says oh tell father Tom and father Nick to to save the trip um you know um and and ultimately father Nick did come out later on the day but but ultimately to talk to Christian privately but but yeah he he made a joke of that situation we all laughed we're around him crying but we're laughing.

Christopher Cochran: And again, he just found a way to make us laugh and cry all at the same time.

Christopher Cochran: And so one of the doctors said, you know, your son taught us how to live, but he also taught us all how to die. And he did. It was a beauty.

Christopher Cochran: And all that awfulness, there was so much beauty.

Christopher Cochran: It's hard to explain how beautiful it really was.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Wow. I love what you just said about that. He taught you how to live, but he also taught you how to die.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. That's what a beautiful summary of this little section of his life. Your book, his book, what made you decide to even take on such a, such a task, such a, such a responsibility, however you want to view it, but this, this project of, of writing a book?

Christopher Cochran: About a year and a half ago, I got that nudge from Christian to do something.

Christopher Cochran: I didn't know what that was.

Christopher Cochran: I knew I had to step up. I had to be a better person, a better parent, a better personality, but it had to be something different than this person who wanted just to stay in bed all day.

Christopher Cochran: And I did, I got up, I started to go back. I journaled Christian's life when he got sick.

Christopher Cochran: So I would, between midnight to four in the mornings, I was always journaling.

Christopher Cochran: I didn't sleep, not very much, maybe catnaps here and there, just to try to catch up. But I would write the journaling.

Christopher Cochran: And so I had all these journals and I wanted to be able to capture some of those journals in a story as part of the book, right?

Christopher Cochran: And tell the story of how I met my wife and where we come from and what we did and how this love story that was built around Christian.

Christopher Cochran: But yeah, I just started going back in time and it's hard to relive those moments.

Christopher Cochran: I haven't looked at it since, right?

Christopher Cochran: I know a lot of it's in the book, but you piece it together because you want it to flow well and tell a beautiful story.

Christopher Cochran: But ultimately, yeah, it was Christian. He continues to drive me.

Christopher Cochran: During the process, I wanted to stop. I couldn't do it.

Christopher Cochran: But it was always Christian pushing me to do this and keep moving forward, push yourself through difficult things.

Christopher Cochran: And, um, that's what I did. And, and ultimately the, the book came out late August and it's been, uh, I think an incredible success based on the things I hear and then, and the reports I get, I think it's special to see that the book is selling overseas in different countries.

Christopher Cochran: And that's a really important thing.

Christopher Cochran: And because I think it's a message that can spread everywhere.

Christopher Cochran: It's a simple phrase, right? What's good about today.

Christopher Cochran: And you can, in, in, if you look at it and ask that question of yourself, it can have a big impact. So yeah, Christian drove me.

Christopher Cochran: He still continues to drive me to do the things I do. To be here with you today, it's always Christian driving me, inspires me to do good things and talk.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, I love it so much. Is there something in the book that maybe you could share, maybe a story that you wrote that maybe you haven't really touched on today to give us a little bit deeper insight into exactly the power of this book?

Christopher Cochran: Yeah, one of the things I talk about, I talk about faith, right, and spirituality.

Christopher Cochran: And one of the things Christian always does, talked about was his connections with Buddhism and Judaism, and of course, the Christian faith.

Christopher Cochran: But one of the things he also talked about was talism.

Christopher Cochran: So, you know, talism is about flowing with the river.

Christopher Cochran: There's a lot of discussion of how talism talks about how we move with the grace of water and to let our lives flow like water.

Christopher Cochran: And Christian believe that don't fight the current.

Christopher Cochran: Much of us, we fight that current. And there's a whole chapter on Christian's Tao, which is to talk about how he didn't fight that river and that he understood that life is an easier path when you follow the stream and you flow with how things go in this world, that you can lead a better life and you can become closer to your fellow man, connect better, and understand your circumstances no matter how dire they can get.

Christopher Cochran: So I think that's a tidbit. We didn't really talk about that, but, you know, I think I tried to capture a lot of what I believed, you know, Christian used to discuss with us and how he looked at the world that way through his eyes.

Christopher Cochran: So I think it was an important part of the book.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. After publishing this book, starting speaking publicly about Christian story, coming on podcasts like this, how has it maybe helped you in the whole grieving process?

Christopher Cochran: Well, I think everybody goes through grief, some form or fashion.

Christopher Cochran: It's the commonality that we all have in this life that we're all here.

Christopher Cochran: Someone's going to pass away that's close to us. But I've realized that when you get through these things, this is really about two things.

Christopher Cochran: One is absolutely always show humbleness, humbleness before God, humble before everybody, humble in your life.

Christopher Cochran: And the second thing is to realize you're not in control.

Christopher Cochran: You think you're in control, but ultimately God is the one who controls how things work.

Christopher Cochran: And we're just here to make the best of things.

Christopher Cochran: But I think one of the things that it's taught me is that, you know, really there are three things that it's taught me.

Christopher Cochran: One is the power of perspective, right?

Christopher Cochran: I believe that every day you got to ask yourself this, what's good about today and focus on that because that gives you some perspective. I also think that there's something resilience and choice.

Christopher Cochran: And I think, you know, watching Christian endure these endless treatments, therapies, surgeries, I realized something profound.

Christopher Cochran: Resilience isn't a trait. It's a decision. Right. So resilience isn't a trait. It's a decision.

Christopher Cochran: And Christian made the decision every single day to be positive and to be funny and to face these challenges.

Christopher Cochran: And then ultimately, it's leave a legacy.

Christopher Cochran: Legacies are built on small moments.

Christopher Cochran: Right. And I try to remind that every interaction we have, every small kindness, every smile, that's what people remember.

Christopher Cochran: Because it's easy to get caught up in wanting to achieve big things.

Christopher Cochran: But the truth is our greatest legacies is built every day in the smallest of moments.

Christopher Cochran: So when you, you know, narrow it down to small moments and you can make sure that you have resilience of your choice and you have a strong power of perspective.

Christopher Cochran: Those are three things I think you can take away daily.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah, I love it. Before we continue for somebody hearing us talk about your book, where is the best place for people to find your book at?

Christopher Cochran: So the book is available for global distribution. It can be found online.

Christopher Cochran: Again, it's What's Good About Today, A Purpose Driven Life.

Christopher Cochran: You certainly could Google Christian Cochran.

Christopher Cochran: You'll probably get all kinds of information on Christian.

Christopher Cochran: And that's the most important thing. There's certainly christiancochran.org.

Christopher Cochran: That talks about all the things we're doing in Christian's name, the foundation, the things he cared about, the stories about Christian, certainly pictures about Christian.

Christopher Cochran: And you can certainly find the book at Amazon.

Christopher Cochran: So it's on Amazon and you can find Barnes & Noble.

Christopher Cochran: But I think it's in almost most all, I mean, it's certainly in Christian stores, it's in different locations.

Christopher Cochran: So if you can't get it at Barnes & Noble on site, you can order it from there.

Christopher Cochran: But online, it's a pretty easy thing. You get it, they make it so easy now to get these books.

Christopher Cochran: You could order it today. You probably have it by tomorrow.

Christopher Cochran: So, yeah, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and any retailer that sells books.

Kevin Lowe: Well, fantastic. Well, I will be positive that all of that is in the show notes for anybody interested for making that super easy to access to get a hold of this book.

Kevin Lowe: Because I think it's, as we've heard it, it's more than a book.

Kevin Lowe: I mean, it's honestly like a manual for how to live life like Christian.

Kevin Lowe: And as you talk today, I mean, it's obvious, no doubt, that your son was a one of a kind.

Kevin Lowe: And you even made mention of it that he lived a lot in his life.

Kevin Lowe: And it's like, it's like it was all meant to be, you know, it's like sometimes there's some people who God knows they're going to leave a massive impact really quick.

Kevin Lowe: Maybe others, it's going to be a little bit longer time.

Kevin Lowe: And as much as all of us wish that no one had to leave, the fact of the legacy that your son has left on this world is absolutely beautiful.

Christopher Cochran: Thank you. Thank you, Kevin. Appreciate that.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah.

Christopher Cochran: I agree with you. I agree with you. Yeah, I mean, I appreciate saying it is a robe. I always refer to it as a roadmap, right?

Christopher Cochran: It's a roadmap to find purpose. I still continue to use the book as a roadmap.

Christopher Cochran: At the end of every chapter, it does give examples of how, you know, it sort of paraphrases the chapter at the end of every chapter to give people useful tools to use in their daily life the way Christian did.

Christopher Cochran: And so I'm still striving for that. I'm still striving to lead a purposely driven life.

Christopher Cochran: I think everybody is, right? We're all trying to figure out, why are we here?

Christopher Cochran: What's next? Why did God put me here?

Christopher Cochran: Why any of these things? But I think past the why, it's how we interact with others, how we go about our daily life.

Christopher Cochran: And so I think you're right, Christian.

Christopher Cochran: I have to believe that this was divine, the way God sets this out to be, right?

Christopher Cochran: I used to say to Christian, even when he was little, I always said this to Christian.

Christopher Cochran: I mean, when I was a little kid, I would say, when I grew up, Krishna, I want to be just like you.

Christopher Cochran: And, and I said that to him all the time because he just, that's how he, he led that, he kept leading this purposely driven life, whether it was traveling, connecting, helping those who are struggling.

Christopher Cochran: I document letters. There are letters from people in the book that, that I didn't know about Christian, right? I knew he's a great person.

Christopher Cochran: I knew he did all these wonders and he was a wonderful human being, but people would reach out to me that spent five minutes and how he changed their life. or I'd have old friends who are not included in something.

Christopher Cochran: One in particular story, a girl who was at college, she had sat down at the lunch table.

Christopher Cochran: Christian was over with his friends. This is in college and she was by herself.

Christopher Cochran: And Christian had this incredible, I mean, oh, there's not enough words to describe it. He understood people's pain.

Christopher Cochran: He could see it and he would go to it. He didn't run away from it.

Christopher Cochran: And so if he saw you were in pain, he saw you were isolated.

Christopher Cochran: She told me the story that Christian came to her and sat with her and introduced himself.

Christopher Cochran: And she said, I was in the worst place possible. I was in a very bad place.

Christopher Cochran: And your son brought me so much joy and light. He brought me into his friend group.

Christopher Cochran: He introduced me at that moment, said that he was one, I was one of them.

Christopher Cochran: And he would take whatever she needed when she was struggling.

Christopher Cochran: It's just, it's one of hundreds of stories that I recount in the book and talk about.

Christopher Cochran: I think it brings me peace to know that Christian was doing all the right things in this life to get him to where he wanted to go in the next life, ultimately.

Kevin Lowe: Yeah. To close out our conversation today, there's so much that your son has taught us about living, about dying.

Kevin Lowe: But if you had to just leave us with one thing, what is that one thing that you want every person listening today to remember about your son?

Christopher Cochran: Life will hand us challenges. It will bring us to our knees.

Christopher Cochran: And sometimes we won't know how to move forward. But there's one thing Christian taught me. It's this.

Christopher Cochran: There's always something good about today. It It might be small, it might be hidden, but it's there.

Christopher Cochran: When we choose to focus on that, when we embrace resilience, when we commit to creating a legacy built on love, kindness, and courage, We don't just survive, we thrive. So I would leave everyone with that and hope that people wake up, whether it's in the morning, it's in the afternoon, or it's before you go to bed, is to remind yourself what's good about today.

Christopher Cochran: Because I really, really believe it can help guide anyone moving forward.

Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. Christopher, thank you, man, from the bottom of my heart for, for being here, for, for sharing the story about your family, about your son, with me, with my audience. It means the world to me.

Kevin Lowe: And I can't say thank you enough.

Christopher Cochran: Well, thank you, Kevin. I want to thank you. You've shared your story and it always brings me so much joyfulness to my heart.

Christopher Cochran: When I hear your story, how you've strong resilience, how you lead your life.

Christopher Cochran: I love when you speak, you are filled with so much happiness.

Christopher Cochran: You have it. You just got, you've got that thing, Kevin. That's the thing.

Christopher Cochran: You and Christian have this thing.

Christopher Cochran: Not many people have it. I don't have it. That's the thing.

Christopher Cochran: But you have it. And it's a way to bring absolute smiles to someone's face.

Christopher Cochran: And so I want to thank you.

Christopher Cochran: Thank you for the opportunity to get to meet you. I know it was divine intervention that Christian brought us together for sure.

Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. Well, thank you. That truly means the world to me.

Kevin Lowe: And for you listening today, of course, I don't know if you clicked on today's episode expecting to hear what you heard today.

Kevin Lowe: It was a story combined with lessons about living, about dying.

Kevin Lowe: A story about a father, about a son, about a family.

Kevin Lowe: But more than anything else, I think it's a story that turns to you and asks you one important question. today, tomorrow, and every day, what's good about today?

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