Can Self-Love Transform Your Love Life? An Inspirational Valentine's Day Revelation

We're talking today about self-love.

Self-love, Kev, what are you talking about?

That sounds rather conceited.

No, we're not going there.

We're talking about self-love in a different sense, a respectful sense.

The idea that you come first, that you matter more than anyone else.

You have to learn to love yourself in order for you to have a healthy relationship with anyone else.

Today's episode is coming out here on the week of Valentine's Day.

And well, I'm no person to be in a position to be talking to you about love in terms of your relationship, but I can surely help you out with love in terms of yourself, respecting yourself, loving yourself, so that therefore everything else can fall into place.

My friend, if this sounds like your cup of tea or your cup of coffee, well, grab a mug and let's dive in.

This is episode 263.

What's up, my friend, and welcome to Grit Grace and Inspiration.

I'm your host, Kevin Lowe.

Twenty years ago, I awoke from a life-saving surgery only to find that I was left completely blind.

And since that day, I've learned a lot about life, a lot about living, and a lot about myself.

And here on this podcast, I want to share those insights with you.

Because, friend, if you are still searching for your purpose, still trying to understand why, or still left searching for that next right path to take, well, consider this to be your stepping stone to get you from where you are to where you want to be.

If we're talking about love, self-love, well, do you love yourself enough to make this year be the best year of your life?

Do you love yourself enough to make your dreams come true?

To have the career that lights you up, to have the light.

That is like a dream.

Well, friend, it all starts by you understanding you.

And nothing helps that more than discovering your life's purpose.

My friend, I invite you to text the word discover the 55444.

Again, text the word discover the 55444, and I'm gonna get you information into how I can help you to discover your purpose.

Now, let's get back to a little talk of self-love.

When we talk about self-love, you probably picture the idea of spa days going and getting your nails done.

Or if you're a guy hitting the golf course with a couple of buddies, that is definitely some self-love.

But no, we're talking about something different today, a different type of self-love.

Those other things, well, I would call those more like self-care.

Self-love is different, it's more meaningful, it's more impactful.

Self-love is about acknowledging your worth, it's respecting yourself, and it's not settling for anything less than what you deserve.

I want you to recognize the fact that loving yourself, it's not you being conceited.

No, it's honestly an essential step for healthier relationships, for a better version of you.

My message today is here to help you because we are bombarded in social media, on TV.

If you still find a magazine, maybe at the doctor's office, all the places.

We're bombarded by the idea of who we should be or who we should strive to be, when in fact, really, we should just strive to be us.

Honestly, I feel like standing firm in your own self-love with your own self-appreciation, it's honestly revolutionary.

And in my opinion, it's a game changer.

Because if you struggle in today's world with always comparing yourself to that idea of what you should be, well, maybe it's time to stop and instead start realizing that who you are is just awesome enough.

I believe it's you saying to yourself that listen, I love myself.

I know I'm flawed.

I know I'm not perfect, and that's okay because I'm uniquely me.

And the world needs more of us to stand up and say, we don't want to be like everybody else.

I just want to be like me.

That's what this world needs.

That is exactly what I am trying to get at with today's episode is the idea of you loving and respecting yourself, which in turn, I believe, will help all aspects of your life, from your relationships to your career to just your everyday life.

You have to learn to love and respect yourself.

Now, I want to take time to kind of dive into this a little bit deeper, of trying to understand a little bit why this may seem hard to you.

Why, when I say this, do you roll your eyes?

Why do you think, uh, this isn't for me?

He doesn't know me.

He doesn't know my past, he doesn't know my flaws.

I can't love myself.

I want to explore that a little bit deeper.

I want you to begin thinking where that thought comes from.

Where is that lie coming from that you keep telling yourself?

I believe it goes without saying that our ideas of who we are today, the way that we view ourselves, a lot of times are reflected by early in life, our childhood, in those important formative years of us becoming who we are.

Maybe it was somebody who told you something, was a kid in school, maybe it was a family member who told you that you were anything less than perfect, who made you believe that you had to strive to be something different, to be better, because who you were wasn't enough.

Not hearing words of encouragement, to not be told as a child how amazing you are, to not be reminded how beautiful you are, even as an adult, it can leave us questioning.

It can leave us thinking to the negative.

Because so many times that's just where our minds go.

Because, well, if they didn't tell me that I'm beautiful, they must think I'm ugly.

And just like you maybe had experiences as a child in adulthood, it goes without saying that you may have been in some relationships with somebody who put you down, who made you feel less than who you are, who honestly stole your identity.

I want to help you to regain that identity.

I want you to regain the understanding that who you are is amazing all by yourself, that you don't need anyone, anybody, anything to make you better, to improve your self-worth.

No, you are fine just by yourself.

You are fine just as you are right now as you listen to this podcast.

So here's the next question.

If we know that these thoughts are a part of our life, they're a part of us, then it makes it really hard for you to love yourself, for you to exhibit this idea of self-love.

Well, how can we fight against it?

Because I'm here to tell you that this isn't permanent.

We can help you to realize how amazing you are.

And I believe the first step is acknowledging the past.

It's unpeeling your life like you're peeling back the layers of an onion, figuring out all the little things that have happened in your past.

Because again, in order for you to change something, you first have to acknowledge its presence.

And then once you acknowledge it, well, then you can use the very aspect of this podcast, a little grit and grace to change it.

Sometimes you got to dig deep, you got to do the work, and you got to give yourself grace along the way.

Grit and grace that can go a long way on this journey to loving yourself, to respecting yourself, to viewing yourself as the best person in this world.

My hope and prayer with today's episode is that maybe it can be that spark you need to say to yourself, wow, how do I view myself?

Do I love who I am?

Or am I always wishing I was somebody different?

I hope and pray that it's a spark that ignites a flame that has you realizing I'm perfect just the way I am.

I hope that you look in the mirror tomorrow morning and you see you for who you are, an amazing person who's been through some stuff.

Life's not been easy, but you've gotten through it.

You're a warrior, you're a fighter, you're absolutely amazing.

I want you to see that in yourself.

And I want you to realize that you're so much more incredible than you may realize.

I say this often on this podcast is I want you to remind yourself to start treating yourself like you would a best friend.

Tell yourself good things.

Don't beat up on yourself, but love yourself.

Tell yourself the good stuff.

Treat yourself with respect.

Treat yourself like you would a best friend.

Now, the truth of the matter is, is if we're talking about cultivating self-love, we got to tend to it like we would a garden.

It takes time, it takes effort.

You got to put in the work for those seeds to ever start growing.

Following are a few practical tips I've put together to help you do the just this, to help you do a little gardening in the department of self-love.

Number one, set boundaries.

I want you to realize what you like, what you don't like, what you love, and what you hate.

And I want you to respect that.

Because remember, this is about accepting who you are.

So I want you to set boundaries in your life, in your work, in your friendship, in your relationships.

If you don't want to do something, I don't want you to do it.

If something feels out of character, if something doesn't feel right, I want you to respect yourself enough to say, no, I don't want to do it.

No, I'm gonna stay home today, set boundaries, and respect those boundaries.

My second step is I want you to start a gratitude practice.

Either every morning or every night.

It's either first when you wake up or right before you go to bed.

I want you to take out a journal, to jot it down, or if you're cool to just think about it, to pray about it, well, you can do that also.

But I want you to write down all the things that you're grateful for about yourself, about the day, about life.

I want you to focus on the positive.

Because it's so easy for us to focus on the bad stuff, the negative stuff.

I feel like that's just us in this flawed world.

So if we make it a point, though, to fill our lives with positive as much as possible, well, then that leaves less room for the negative stuff to enter our life.

So start a gratitude practice by literally just saying, thank you.

Thank you for this and that.

Thank you for this that happened today.

Thank you for whatever you want to be grateful for.

My third step in helping you to cultivate self-love is to have compassion for yourself.

This goes back to that idea of treating yourself like you would a best friend.

If you're going through some hard times right now or in the future, give yourself a break.

If you find yourself starting to beat yourself up, to hate on yourself, just stop right now and stop.

And remember, you're talking to a best friend, you're talking to you.

Treat yourself with compassion.

Let yourself realize that it's okay.

It's okay if you're not doing the best right now because you're going through a lot.

Understand that it's okay to cry.

It's okay to curl up in bed and sleep the day away every once in a while.

You have to do what you have to do for you.

Nobody knows you better than you.

So I want you to take care of yourself.

And if that means showing yourself some compassion, that's what I want you to do.

My fourth tip is the opposite.

I want you to celebrate the wins, the good times.

If you did something good today, well, baby, I want you to remind yourself of it.

If you are happy about something, well, let it be felt.

Remind yourself of how awesome you are, of all the good things that happened.

I want you to cultivate that celebration, celebrating nobody but you.

Because the more you do that, it's just going to cultivate a sense of pride and self-worth.

It's going to help to build your confidence.

It's going to have you smiling a little more, holding your head a little higher, walking a little bit straighter.

Remind yourself of the wins.

Remind yourself that you're capable, you're able, and you're darn sure deserving of having everything you want in this life.

My last step is probably the most important.

Forgiveness.

Will you please work on forgiving yourself for the past?

I feel like so many times in this life, it's our past that holds us back.

It's our past mistakes.

It's our past things that haunt us in the night, that make us feel like we're unworthy, that make us feel like that's the reason why nobody should love me.

That's the reason why things aren't good in my life.

Will you please forgive yourself?

I promise you that God will forgive you.

So why can't you forgive you?

Work on that every day.

Remind yourself that it's okay.

The past is the past.

You've learned from it.

You're better because of it.

Forgive yourself.

Give yourself compassion.

Cheer yourself on.

Remind yourself that you are amazing, no matter what the past had.

Right now, we're focused on here and now in the future laying before you.

I want to end today on a high note.

I want to end today by reminding you: self-love does not mean that you're conceited.

It does not mean that you think that you are a gift from God to the world.

No, it means that you respect yourself, that you honor who you are.

It literally means that you're okay just being you, because you is good enough.

So, with that, my friend, I leave you with this.

Let's give a toast to self-love, to the love that conquers all else, the love that makes all else possible.

It's self-love.

It's loving you, respecting you, because, well, you're pretty darn amazing.

My friend, this is Kevin Lowe, and this is Grit Grace and Inspiration.

I hope you have enjoyed today's episode.

I hope that you've gotten something out of it.

And if you have, and you feel like there's somebody you know who could benefit from hearing this, please share it with them.

I want this news to be shared across the world.

That it's okay to love yourself.

It's often needed in order for everything else to take place.