Starting Over After Domestic Abuse: Kat Polsinelli's Inspiring Journey from Survivor to Entrepreneur & Advocate

I'm your host, Kevin Little, and I'm excited to welcome you inside.

What's going on, my friend, and welcome back to the podcast.

My name is Kevin Lill, your host, and this is episode number 183.

Have you ever heard somebody's story, or maybe it's somebody you know personally, who has been through something traumatic in their life.

And yet somehow they come out the other side and don't just keep going, moving forward, but rather look back by giving voice to those who need it, by uh realizing that where they came from, they're not the only one who is there.

Because there's other people who were there too.

And now they want to be there to support them.

That's the kind of story, that's the kind of person who is on the podcast today.

Her name is Kat Paul Sanelli.

In case you're new here, my name is Kevin Lowe.

I am a transformational life and business coach.

And the whole goal of this podcast is to be a source of inspiration, of motivation, of encouragement, and to remind you that even on the worst days there is hope that you got this, that even though life may be hard today, in the mountain ahead of you may seem impossible to pass, that you got this.

Because, well, life has its way of challenging us.

I know.

Back in 2003, during my junior year of high school, I woke up from a surgery that I thought was going to just be there to better my life, to remove a brain tumor, was gonna set me back on path in life.

Instead, I woke up to be left completely blind.

That was not in the cards, but in fact, it was.

In fact, it was part of my plan.

It was now my opportunity to choose, though, what I was gonna do with it.

I was dealt these cards.

Do I make the most of them and keep pushing forward?

Or do I stay still and get stuck?

Well, I chose to be positive.

I chose to think positive, be positive, and keep moving forward.

And well, that's what I encourage anybody to do when the roads get tough is to keep your eye on the prize, to never look down, always keep focused ahead on the horizon.

Because the best thing you can do in when times are tough is to focus forward.

For my guest today, Kat Pulsanelli, that's what she's done.

Kat has been through the weeds, she's been in some unimaginably tough times.

I'm talking about eight years in an abusive relationship, in a relationship that no one, man nor woman should ever have to endure.

And yet this woman spent eight years in the thick of it.

What makes Pat Pulsinelli so freaking awesome though is that she finally got out.

She saved her life, she saved the life of her children, and she made the tough choices.

Now, choices like this are not easy.

And what comes after that tough choice is also generally going to be pretty difficult.

But the reason why behind it is more powerful than anything else.

I can't wait for you to get to meet this woman, to hear her story of her overcoming such a traumatic point in her life.

And like I said at the beginning of today's episode, some people don't just keep going, but instead they turn back because they want to help the other people who are going through the same thing.

And that's what Kat has done.

That is what Kat is doing.

She's giving voice to those who don't have a voice.

She is there to be that hand to help pull the others along.

Now, whether or not you yourself are in the thick of it, doesn't matter.

Because today's episode is here to remind us all that when we are, that there's always a way out.

Gotta keep focused forward, keep moving forward, and don't slow down.

Not one bit.

With that said, it's time for me to introduce you to Kat Pulsanelli.

Cap Pulsanelli, welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me.

I'm so excited to be here.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I'm super stoked to have you here and to get to unpack your story for my audience.

And I would love to start with something that I had had read.

I'm not sure if I had read it on your website in a bio about you, but it was something that really caught my attention.

And it was, it said that you believe that some people are meant to go through some stuff so that they can be the voice for others.

And I would love for you to kind of unpack for me kind of what that means and how you came to, you know, develop such a belief.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

So it's funny enough, that is actually it's in a several different places.

It's also part of my bio when anyone asks for it as well.

So I feel that people, some people go through hardships so that we can be the voice for others.

And the reason why I say that is because of my own hardships.

So I I've been through a few things from being pregnant at 16 and trying to figure that out, which by the way, my son is almost 19 now.

So um I was able to keep him and graduate early and all of that, to moving in with a boyfriend at the age of 18 and ending up in an eight-year abusive relationship.

And coming out of that at the age of about 27, 28, my kids were 10 and 7, both of my boys.

And I literally started life over.

When I say started over, I mean like I had to buy my first car, I had to buy my first cell phone, I had to file for bankruptcy.

I literally didn't have anything.

And through those lessons and over the years of starting to do more personal development work and learning about myself, what I realized was how many other people around me have been through some type of traumatic event.

And what I find is that a lot of people keep it to themselves for, you know, reasons of shame or feelings of guilt.

I know that for me that was huge because, you know, I used to get asked the questions of, you know, how could you let your children go through that?

Right.

And so I kept a lot of it to myself, but there are so many people that have had some type of experience that has shaped their lives.

And not everyone has the strength or the support or the push to be able to get past those humps.

And so they suffer in silence.

And I do feel like that I went through that as a way to learn from the other side and then be able to understand what it's like to go through that.

And I am a person that has learned to find her strength and her courage through my children, which has led me to being around other people that need that kind of strength.

And I want to be that strength and that courage and that support for others that feel like they are alone, that feel like no one understands what they're going through or what the thoughts in their head is.

I want to be that person to share my story and give them my strength to push them to do better, to try something new or to get out of the hole that they're in.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that so much.

It to be honest, it's probably why it kind of caught my attention because it's kind of the same type of mindset I have.

And something that I always share is that I feel like in life, you know, we we separate things into good and bad.

And I say, but when we look at our life and we we look at the the things that happen to us and things that are seen as quote unquote bad, well, are they really bad if we can figure out a way to make good out of them?

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: You know?

So I love that so much.

Now so when you kind of look back on your kind of life's journey, what would you say was kind of the uh I would say maybe like pivotal point or circumstance situation that you would say kind of set you on the journey that your life has taken to leave you with such kind of like a noble, profound like look on life?

SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh.

I feel like I had a couple of pivotal moments.

However, I think the one that probably stuck the most was after getting out of the abusive relationship, I became the famous people pleaser and refused to do a lot of work on myself.

I didn't, I worked with my children and put them in therapy and did all the things for them, but I didn't think that there was a problem, right?

I was taught to just kind of push through things and have the strength and move on.

The pivotal moment with that was actually when I got into my first relationship after the abuse, and I thought everything was going great and we moved in together.

And then what I found was I was starting to do some of the same things that I did in my last relationship.

There was a lot of yelling.

I was very defensive.

And not only did that show in my relationship, but it also started showing in how I parented my kids.

And then my children reflected back those behaviors toward each other and toward me.

And that was a really pivotal moment for me of sitting back and going, holy crap, like I have two boys that I do not want to go down the same road of the things that they had been through and the way that I was treated.

And yet I'm putting them in an environment and doing some of the similar things that I wanted out of, right?

There was never the piece of narcissism and stuff like that, but I hadn't healed myself.

And so I was trying to parent my children, who at the time my youngest one was becoming a teenager.

He was about 13.

And I was parenting from a place of hurt, which ultimately was actually hurting my kids.

And I was starting to notice that.

And I couldn't continue down that pathway knowing that I was creating broken adults.

And so I started doing a lot of inner work.

I put it out there that like I knew things needed to change and I didn't know how.

And from there, it was kind of weird.

Like certain doors started opening up.

I met someone that started talking with me about mindset and manifestation.

And so I got involved in this group and I met an amazing mentor online who I followed for like two and a half years, but I loved all of her content.

Anytime she offered something free, I jumped into it.

And from that, what I realized was if I didn't start working on myself and start healing myself and learning to come from a different standpoint, how was I any different from what I had been through?

Where was the change?

And how ultimately was that going to affect my kids in the way that they went through their lives, especially their teenage lives and young adult lives?

And where was I going to be pushing my hurt onto them, which then was going to later turn affect how they are, not only in society, but in their relationships in general.

And I just knew that I couldn't let that happen.

And I knew that I had to do something about that.

And I knew that that meant that I had to start with me.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I mean, that's so powerful, so powerful.

Now, if you don't mind me asking about the abusive relationship that you talk about, what I guess I'm curious about is there's a lot of women, unfortunately, who get involved in a relationship that is an abusive relationship.

Whether that's physical, mental, doesn't matter.

What I guess I'm kind of curious about though is how did you get out?

SPEAKER_00: Oh, so that's interesting.

So for for me, for for the abuse that I went through, while there was physical, there was a lot more emotional and mental.

And my therapist would have put it.

I was basically brainwashed over an eight-year period.

And for anyone to kind of break that down, that's your gaslighting.

That's basically, you know, someone every time that you say something, they object to it or change it so that it's somehow your fault.

And what ultimately happens is, you know, you do start to question yourself.

You know, like, okay, is it me then?

Is it not them?

Am I doing something wrong?

And you kind of start to basically lose yourself and fall into their perspective.

I had one of those pivotal moments.

I was about six years in, and I knew a little before then that things were difficult and they weren't necessarily working, but I was also raised to be very strong.

And so I was like, oh, you know, I just, I just need to help him, that kind of thing.

What actually ended up happening was we had an argument one night, and my children at the time, who were even younger, because they were 10 and 7 when we got out.

So maybe seven and five, we were having an argument and they came out of the room to be a part of it.

And my both of my children said, you know, yeah, mom, dad's right.

Why are you doing this?

Or why are you being like that?

And that for some reason struck me so different than him saying it to me that I realized, holy crap, I am teaching my kids how to be like this.

And so from that point, it was actually a battle of knowing that I needed to leave, not knowing how I was going to do it.

I worked two and three jobs while he stayed at home.

My kids were in school.

I was barely making it by.

He was always stealing money from me.

I got back in contact with my family that I actually lost contact with for quite a while, on and off for like four years.

I was at work one day and I snuck to use the work phone because I wasn't allowed to have a cell phone.

And I was like, something has to change, like something, I have to do something different.

So we tried to hatch a plan and we couldn't really get it to work out.

And then every time I would get close, I'm like, no, I can't do it.

I started listening to Joel Olstein on Sundays because I wasn't allowed to go to church anymore.

And so that was kind of like my thing.

And I loved what he kept talking about and, you know, changing and letting go and things like that.

And so that kind of kept pushing me down that direction.

I finally got a medical job, which put me in a really great position.

And then funny enough, we ended up having a huge blowout after I dropped my kids off one morning, a little worse than what it normally was.

I had a busted lip and I needed to get to work and I had bruises.

And so anyway, I actually went to work and uh I went to the back to kind of, you know, clear myself up and cry it all out and get back to work.

And I had a patient that came in that I had known for about two and a half years.

They were in the attorney field.

They worked at the court system.

And so I was honestly just kind of chatting with them and having a conversation.

And I was kind of asking questions, but like eluding, right?

So I was like, yeah, you know, we just kind of had an argument and this is this and this.

And they kept asking questions.

And um, I don't know exactly what I told them, but I know that I gave enough away for them to understand what was going on.

And I am so thankful to this person to this day because I remember them sitting up from in the private room that they were in, where they were on a therapy table.

And he looked at me and he said, You don't deserve this.

And now you've told me what's going on.

So either you contact the police or I have to because I work in the domestic violence center.

SPEAKER_01: Wow.

Wow, wow, wow.

SPEAKER_00: So that was that was my moment.

And um it's it's funny because I I think about it now and I knew that I wanted to leave.

Yeah, but I I think I would have stayed if he hadn't had given me that ultimatum.

And so I made the call.

And literally everything happened within a matter of hours that day from sending someone to the school to make sure he couldn't pick my kids up to making sure that I had a temporary restraining order out.

I contacted my family.

It just everything happened so fast within the blink of an eye that day.

SPEAKER_01: Wow.

Now, one thing that I want to ask you about, really as confirmation to be sure that me and my audience understand the magnitude of a relationship like this.

When you said that you had not been in contact with your family, that you could not go to church, does that mean that your husband would not allow that contact?

SPEAKER_00: Yes, but it was in a more subtle way.

And then this is kind of where that brainwashing comes from.

So we had talked about going to church.

He acted like he wanted to, but every time I would get ready, he would decide to take a shower 15 minutes before we left.

And then so it would be, you know, 30 minutes into the service, and I'd be like, Well, we can't show up now.

And he's like, Oh, well, I guess we're not going, right?

So it was things like that.

We had one vehicle, so I was only allowed to go somewhere if he came with me.

And so I'll give you an example with family.

When my youngest one was born, we were having a disagreement with my family.

My family was pushing back to see.

He kept telling me what they were doing and how they were trying to, you know, take me away from him or brainwash him.

And his mother was a part of that equation as well, and fully led into what he was saying.

And so they weren't even allowed to come to the hospital to see my youngest one.

So if I wanted to see my parents, it was an utter fight to even have contact with them.

And every once in a blue moon, if he was in a great mood and it was a holiday, he may say, Well, let's give him a shot.

And then would shut it down later with, Well, they said this and they talked about this, and this is the reason why we're not around them.

So it wasn't like what I guess most people think, where you know, you ask for something, they're like, No, you can't do that.

Because that would have triggered me to shut someone down because I did have that kind of strength behind me.

So it was very in a very narcissistic way to manipulate the wording and the use of things around me so that I felt like what he was saying was true.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

That's what I just started to say, is very manipulative.

Yeah.

Wow.

So, I mean, first and foremost, I want to applaud you for finally realizing it and making the hard choices and doing the hard things to get away from him.

And I mean, because it's not easy.

It's not even easy.

And I can imagine that the fear had to be just ridiculous when you decided to get away.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it I I I appreciate that.

And I I thank you very much for for that.

And I think that's why it's it's so important to me to share this story and to put it out there for others to see and to hear and to understand because one, people do feel so alone and so isolated.

I don't think that others realize that we have such similar stories when I'm talking with other people.

And two, I I want to educate those that haven't been through it.

And I want people to be able to ask me questions like you are, so that I can give them an insight to what it's like to create more of an open conversation and understanding for those that have been through it.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love it.

I love it.

So, so you you get out of that, you I believe you said that you you moved in with your parents, correct?

SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.

I did.

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

So here you are.

You've gotten out of this horrible relationship, you have your your two kids, you're moved back in with your parents.

What's going through your head at that point is fine.

As far as your present situation, your future, what was the mindset?

SPEAKER_00: So at that time, I don't think I really even focused on the future.

Um, it was literally getting my children stable, making sure that they had the support that they needed.

They were both in school.

So I had to make sure that, you know, they were still in that.

My mindset was to focus on anything and everything I possibly can to make life better for my children and start making up for the things that they had never had and fully dive into my work, giving back to my family for letting me come back in any way that I possibly could.

And I put myself back through college.

So in the evenings, uh, when my kids would go to bed, I signed myself back up to finish my medical degree so that I could have an accomplishment, something that I tried to do while I was with him that could never be accomplished.

And so I was determined to get my college degree and get through that.

But I think beyond that, that kind of process wasn't there.

I don't even think that I knew how to think about the future.

I was only able to focus on like moment by moment at that time and do anything I possibly could not to be alone with my own thoughts.

So driving to and from work was really hard because I would hear certain songs on the radio that just I would burst into tears.

And then, you know, I'd like, okay, okay, get it together like you're gonna be in front of your kids.

They can't know that you're upset, they're not gonna understand.

And so that that's kind of where where my head was at on a on a constant basis.

And I was always on a constant swivel because I knew that I didn't necessarily, or I guess I believed at that time that I didn't have time to heal.

I didn't have time to deal with it because I needed to make sure my kids were doing great.

I needed to make sure I was doing great in my job so I didn't lose that.

I needed to make sure I was doing for my family so they knew I appreciated them.

And then on top of all of that, uh I was in and out of court for the domestic violence and all the things there.

I was constantly being harassed by my ex, unfortunately, where he would show up at the bottom of our driveway in the middle of the night because he knew we had cameras and he would wear a mask on his face and stand there.

Or he showed up at my house that I was renting while I was trying to get things out of it and he would leave flowers across the table, or, you know, he built a shrine in our bedroom of all the things that we had been through and drew pictures for me.

Like I was in a constant state of survival and making sure that my kids were safe and I was focusing on them and then making sure I was aware of where he was at at all times and what was going on consistently for gosh, probably the first year.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

How did that finally end?

SPEAKER_00: I'd love to say that the uh justice system did their job.

I do feel like they failed.

I do understand that they deal with a lot of people that come through claiming abuse and go right back to their abusers.

And I wish there were more programs that helped around that.

But I would say after probably close to a year-long battle of back and forth with that, he was finally charged with domestic abuse and stalking charges.

And because he was on probation, they gave him 11 days at a workhouse.

The end.

In the process of all of that, I was also in and out of court for visitation for my youngest son, who was his.

So that was a constant battle.

So I was never able to actually separate myself completely from him because he was still seeing my son.

I would still have to kind of be around him or drop him off in a car where he was close.

So I would love to say that it was a happy ending and he disappeared, but um he's he's still around.

However, I have learned a lot about myself and I've learned a lot on how to cope with things and deal with the anxiety that I used to have when he would even come near me.

So my son was in basketball.

And so even when he would be in the basketball room, if I seen him, my body shut down, I would start kind of panicking internally, but I didn't want anyone to see it and I wouldn't be able to breathe.

So I had to teach myself how to handle those situations so that again I could be present for my kids because I didn't want them to see mom falling apart.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.

So how do you move past this to get to where you are today?

I mean, when you look back, what again we we've talked about kind of pivotal moments in your life, but I mean, what would be that pivotal moment?

Because I look at I look at what you're doing today and I think, wow, how incredible.

SPEAKER_00: Well, well, thank you for for that.

I I would say that honestly, it took me diving into me, learning about codependency, narcissism, and triggers, what PTSD meant, because I I had that for a while, understanding what anxiety was, I had no clue what that was, and honestly becoming a student of that, learning about it, understanding it, looking for other people's stories that I could relate to and seeing what they had been through and how they had come out of it, so that I could kind of build myself up from that point.

And I would say that I think one of the pivotal moments to really breaking free from that and starting to find my own confidence and courage would be when I left my four and a half year relationship where I was engaged and I made the decision that we we were not supposed to be together, that, you know, we just we were on separate pages.

I was going through a really healing journey and I really started to understand what I really wanted in someone.

And when I had to be the one to actually, this sounds horrible.

When I had to be the one to hurt someone else, knowing that they loved me, but also knowing that it was the best thing for me, there was such a sense of freedom in that.

And that kind of really pushed me into the next stage of my life.

And funny enough, we're we're actually still friends.

He's a really great person.

It just wasn't who aligned with me, but I realized that.

And that empowerment of realizing that alignment and stepping into my power to say, you know what, this is what I want, this is what I need, and this isn't it, really kind of catapulted me forward into a lot of things.

I started striving more in my first entrepreneurial journey as a real estate agent, which ended up leading into development with the company that I was with, taking a corporate position, and then realizing again through all of that that I really enjoy helping others succeed.

And through all of that and being okay with saying, you know what, this doesn't align with me and I would prefer not to do it anymore, it started becoming more of a habit to do that, which again, it's so freeing and empowering and scary, like all at the same time.

But it gives you that sense of self-confidence where you can push forward to the next thing.

Because as soon as you do it, you're like, you know how you like hold your the covers over your face when you're watching a scary movie and then it passes, you're like, oh, that wasn't so bad.

That's the feeling that that I would get.

And you're like, oh, I can't do this, I can't do this.

And you do it and you're like, oh my God, that was that was great.

Like people understood, or it pushed another door open.

It's it's actually how I met my amazing husband that I that I have now was through stepping into that and knowing more of what I wanted and being okay with letting go of what didn't fit for me.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love it.

So I gotta back up though.

So so in between the man that you you had left, the the one who had the abusive relationship, the man you have now, there was a four and a half year relationship in between.

There was, there was gonna say, I was I was gonna say, I'm like, you just tried to kind of skate over this whole thing, and like we got the tail end of you walking away, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, we just skipped over four and a half years.

Like, how did that come to be?

How was that relationship any different than the first?

Like, you gotta give me some details because I know, especially for my ladies listening to the podcast, they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, back it on up.

SPEAKER_00: So yeah, sure.

So um I'm more than happy to fill in the blanks.

So so after the eight-year relationship, when I came out of that, I met a gentleman in in the in-between who, funny enough, was uh ended up being my attorney for a little while.

And it just kind of progressed.

So, and I'm I'm so thankful that I that I met him because I did realize a lot through the relationship with him.

But what I realized now that I did was I did what a lot of women or men that have been in abusive relationships tend to do, and that is they bounce from one relationship to the next.

Because when they're not with that one person, they feel unfulfilled.

And so they feel like they need to be with somebody else to fill in that void.

And that is where codependency comes in.

So for anybody listening, please look that turn up.

There are tons of books on it, read about it.

Because I was like codependent.

I'm independent.

What I found was that I craved that relationship and I craved helping someone else, but in the wrong ways.

So I met him shortly into moving into the court system and going through all of that.

We did end up buying a house together.

We moved in together, we moved his grandmother in.

He had a son as well.

And I was in the medical field at that time, and kind of toward the end of the relationship was when I realized that, you know, things needed to change.

It needed to be different.

We had had some conversations, but I just felt like we were on very, very separate pages.

And in that interim, I ended up actually losing my medical job due to moral reasons where I actually stood my ground to my doctor, which pushed me into the entrepreneurial journey of real estate.

And again, it just kind of started opening those doors.

And that's when I realized through our relationship, which was very different.

Now, what I will say is at that point in time, there were a lot of things that he was unhealed with as well that I was not aware of that he never discussed.

So we were basically triggering each other.

We would have conversations, which would turn into arguments because I wasn't seeing his side and he didn't see mine.

It was never violent.

It was never, you couldn't do this.

I was free to do whatever I wanted.

He was always encouraging me to do things, but there was just very different understanding from a personality perspective and from personal views that just kept missing each other and not aligning.

So at that time, like I said, when I started really working on my trauma and my healing, I made I did make the offer for us to go through the journey together.

And he decided not to.

And through that year process is when I really started realizing that, okay, if if I don't have someone that wants to move forward with me, how is it ever going to work?

Right?

Like I can't keep going up and someone stay down 10 feet below me.

How are we supposed to connect?

How are we supposed to be conjoined?

How are we supposed to raise children together?

And so that was kind of the breaking point for me was understanding that.

And funny enough, that mentor I talked about actually had a free session that I hopped on to because I was looking for any help from any direction I could possibly get of someone to please tell me I'm not crazy.

There is a reason why I feel like this.

And I sat through a 90-minute session with her, and one of the things that we focused on was relationships.

And so she told me to take a piece of paper out and write down what I would be looking for in someone and why, which was really interesting.

And um, so I was like, okay, I want someone that's adventurous.

And she said, Why?

I said, Well, I love to be outdoors, I love to hike, I, you know, I want someone that wants to do those kinds of things with me.

And so I listed out these 10 things of what I really, really wanted in someone where they could grow and be their own person and I could do the same, but we could come together as well.

And when I looked at that list and she asked me how the other person lined up, I realized that there was this huge misalignment.

And it wasn't that it was a horrible thing, it's just I realized that we would be better off probably as friends versus trying to do a journey together in a relationship.

And so I kept that with me and I put that away and I really started focusing on that.

And that's kind of what gave me the courage to be like, okay, I can't keep doing this.

And what I realized was not only was I hurting myself by continuing the relationship, but it also wasn't fair to him because he was thinking that we were going to get married and we were gonna continue a family together.

And I already knew that that wasn't going to work based on the way that I was wanting to go.

And so it wasn't fair to keep dragging his feelings through the mud either because I wanted to move forward in one direction and him not.

So that was kind of the turning point.

And um, it's it's funny because through all of that, when I met my husband, he actually checked off everything on that list, which is kind of funny, but he did.

He he checked off everything on that box.

And uh to make it even better, he actually wasn't someone I was searching for at all.

When I decided to end my relationship, I decided that you know I didn't need anybody, I needed some time to myself, and um, I was not looking for a relationship at that point in time.

SPEAKER_01: So I have to be just kind of a little bit curious.

You talk about making a list.

What was something on that list?

SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh.

So it was I I wanted somebody that was non-judgmental to the things that I had been through that I would feel comfortable opening up to, and someone that was adventurous that enjoyed being outdoors.

My list was based off of you know, making things that made a person them, that made me me, and that we could also do together.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love it.

I love it so much, so much.

Wow.

I mean, you've been on such the journey in life, and I can't help but want to ask you for the woman who's listening who they're just nodding their head as you talk, because they've been there or they are there.

What's something that you would say to them?

That piece of advice, that that one thing that maybe you wish somebody had told you earlier on?

SPEAKER_00: I I would say don't trust everyone else's words over your own.

That is something that I really led me into staying in that relationship a lot longer than I should have been.

And that was I put the other person up on a pedestal so much above my own that I took their words as gold and as belief when I know even now looking back, there were moments where my body, my being, my soul was telling me something wasn't right.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love it.

I love it.

So, really, here's the final question.

And it's for the person who says, ooh, baby, I need some more of her in my life.

And so for that person, where do we go?

Where do we find you?

Because I know you have your website, I know you have a podcast, I know you're doing all the things.

Tell me about all the things and where to find you.

SPEAKER_00: Yes, of course, of course.

So, yes, you can obviously find my stuff on my website and you can connect with me through there.

It's agentsservicesplus.com and plus is spelt out.

I am also on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.

So you are more than welcome to follow me on there.

I am constantly sharing with other people my story.

My podcast is called Real Chat with Cat, and it's a collaborative space where entrepreneurs get to know each other that you wouldn't necessarily connect with.

And we talk about everything from business to failures to mindset to things that people have been through.

And it's in a beautiful collaborative space, just like this, where um people get to connect with other people on a human level.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love it, I love it.

Real chat with Kat.

I love it, I love it.

Well, well, Kat, listen, I want to thank you today, not just for for coming on the podcast, not just for sharing your story, but for really like opening up and being vulnerable.

Because, I mean, let's face it, it's not easy to talk about the dark times in our life.

But I guess it kind of though goes back to how we started out our conversation was realizing that we can turn that bad situation into good by talking about it, by sharing it in the hopes of helping someone else.

And I just want to thank you for being so gracious in doing that.

SPEAKER_00: Well, I appreciate you for sharing the space to allow me to share this story and it be shared with people that need to hear it or yeah, awesome, awesome.

SPEAKER_01: Well, Kat, listen, I'm gonna let you go, but uh please know that it has just been an absolute joy to get to to talk with you today, to get to know you a little bit better.

And uh so thank you for being on the show.

SPEAKER_00: Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and for you listening today, I hope that you have taken something away, have left that little spark in your mind that makes you realize, hmm, what am I doing in my life?

Am I in a good relationship or not?

Could I be a little bit more like cat in my everyday life?

Or how can I get a little bit more cat in my everyday life?

Which all those links are inside of the show notes.

So easy access, if that's the question swirling through your mind.

Either way, anyway, this is Kevin Lowe with grace and inspiration.

Now it's your turn to get out there and take on the day.

Hey, real quick before you go, I have one last thought to leave you with.

I of course hope that you've enjoyed today's episode, but more importantly, I want to remind you that I never want you to listen to an episode of this podcast to hear something that I have to say or that my guest has to share and think, wow, I wish I could be like them.

I wish I could overcome my own challenges and do the great things that they are doing, but I just can't.

Well, friend, that's where you're wrong.

You are capable, you are able, and you darn sure are deserving of having all that you can imagine in this life.

There's nothing special about me or any guests I have on this podcast.

We are all just normal people trying to make it in this life.

And so I encourage you to take a look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you know what?

I can do it too.

Now, of course, if you would like help along that way, reach out to me.

Whether that's as a listener of this podcast, a friend, or if you'd like to work with me as a coach.

My contact information is inside of every episode's show notes, just like this one.

So go down, check out my contact information, and reach out to me today.

With that said, I encourage you to take on the day every day with grid grid and inspiration.