Revealing Your Higher Self with Luminary Artist Kristen Girard

Link and additional information is in the show notes.

Enjoy today's episode.

SPEAKER_04: For me, what happens is I'll get a sense and I'll just start following my pencil.

Usually I start them as drawings, but I'm at lately now, I'm just shifting to pure color just to get because it's so much fun to get on the canvas.

Um I never know.

Like it could go this way, and then it's like, nope, we're going that way.

SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04: It evolves, you know.

It's like the, you know, they're they're 2D paintings that I do, but they feel to me like 3D sculptures that go back and forward through space and time.

SPEAKER_03: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: I never know.

Like, I think I get a sense of where the the drawing of the painting is going, and then it tends to evolve and do its own thing.

SPEAKER_03: Welcome to Grit, Great, and Inspirate.

I'm your host, Kevin Lowe, and I'm excited to welcome you inside.

This is the kind of place where your glass will never be anything other than half full, because we choose to focus on the positive side of life.

Now, this doesn't mean that we shy away from the real part.

No, not a fair.

Matter of fact, we explore all aspects of life.

From the good, the bad, and the ugly.

But all of that is done with one purpose.

Inspire you to never give up on life, even when it may seem like life has given up on you.

Now I get it, life is hard.

But starting today, we've got grit, grace, and inspiration.

What's going on and welcome back to Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.

My name is Kevin Lowell, and today is episode 127.

Today we are picking up where we left off last week inside of episode 125, where I introduced you to a wonderful person named Kristen Girard.

Now, if you did not catch last week's episode, I would highly encourage you to go back and listen to that right now.

Yes, I am giving you permission to hit the pause button and go back and listen to the first part of Kristen's interview because it's gonna give you the context needed to fully understand and grasp what we're talking about inside of today's episode.

Now, I do want to be completely transparent with you.

The conversation with Kristen gets a little deep inside of today's episode.

We talk about things like depression and suicide.

And I just want to give you that heads up in case that could be a trigger to you.

I just want you to know what is happening inside of this episode today in my effort of just being fully transparent.

Now, the purpose of this episode today is to show you, though, what has come of this amazing woman who I introduced you to last week, and you got to see her past, the trials and tribulations that she has faced, and my goodness, there have been many.

She still battles with many of these health issues still today.

But what Kristen has been able to do, harnessing her own truly unique gifts, is extraordinary.

And that's what's exciting about today, is because we are diving into her skill of these higher self-portraits.

Now, I'm not even going to begin to try to put it into words exactly what these are, because Kristen does a much better job of it.

And if you listen to the end of today's episode, you're going to actually get to listen to this happening in real time because Kristen verbally paints my higher self-portrait.

Yeah, it's really exciting stuff, and I'm excited for you to get to listen to it inside of today's episode.

Now, before we dive into today's interview with Kristen, I of course want to give a shout out to our new sponsor.

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Please check out today's show notes where you can find additional information and a link to start shopping today.

With that said, it's time for today's episode.

I hope you enjoy.

SPEAKER_04: So on an operating table, the guy does the best he can, but he was only able to take out half the scleral buckle.

Basically, had to Frankenstein stitch my eye together.

So remember what I said earlier that your sclera doesn't heal?

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: It had been 30 years and my sclera hadn't healed because it doesn't.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: And I wake up from the surgery and the the surgeon says to me, Don't rub your eye too hard, it will pop.

You don't have a third chance.

Your eye is translucent.

I can see through it from the outside.

Oh.

Stretch it that much.

SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.

SPEAKER_04: And the chances of me losing it are really high.

Like really, really high.

My husband likes to joke about the kind of eye patches he thinks would be cool.

SPEAKER_03: He's voting for Captain America's Shield.

Thanks, honey.

You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: You know, you try to have a sense of humor because it's so terrifying.

SPEAKER_03: Of course.

SPEAKER_04: You know, it's losing the entire eye.

SPEAKER_03: So how long has that been since that happened?

SPEAKER_04: Uh that happened in 2013.

SPEAKER_03: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: This recording, it's 2022, so it's been nine years.

SPEAKER_03: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: And it is just as bad, really, as you know, the first initial healing, like, you know, you're it's after the swelling went down.

So the first surgery I had so much freedom with.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: But this second surgery was different.

And it wasn't just because I was older, which I thought at first, oh, you know, I'm just older, and you know, of course, you're not as young, you don't feel things more.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: I did not expect the level of like not just trauma from the injury, but the level of trauma that woke up.

You know, I was joking earlier about how I remembered struggling against a whole team on surgery table as a kid.

When I had that second surgery, that got woken up so badly.

I cannot sleep in a sleeping bag.

I can't have anything holding me down, and I can't have anything covering my face.

COVID was fun.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: Because especially beginning, I would start having instant panic attacks with having a mask over my face.

Like all of it.

It was like the second surgery, it was just so much worse somehow.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: And what was extra bad was all of those really bad colds I've mentioned were because I had a fungal infection on the surgery site.

And I ended up having a fungal infection in my whole body on top of everything else, which is why I was getting so sick.

SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.

SPEAKER_04: And yeah.

SPEAKER_03: Good gracious.

SPEAKER_04: So I had all this, and my retina had come detached when I was a kid.

SPEAKER_03: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: It came detached again now, just enough that it was salvageable if I was straight ahead, did not bend at the waist.

I can never do sit-ups or run again.

Doesn't sound like a big problem, the grand scheme of things, unless you happen to like to run.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: Or if you wanted to like try to work out for something, yes.

Can't do it because it's too much pounding.

I can't lift weights because that will it create like an internal pressure.

And if you have any retinal problems, it actually can cause the retina to detach altogether.

So I can't do stuff like that.

And because of the way my eye was put back together-ish, it's right underneath one of the muscle groups that moves your eye around.

So if you can imagine having pain every time you move your eye, we move our eyes constantly, even though we don't think we do.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: I can't teach photography anymore because I can't look through a camera lens.

I tried my right eye is my dominant eye, despite everything.

I can't get it to switch.

And when I have days where I have to photograph my artwork, I know that I'm going to have to have a rest day the rest of that day in the next couple of days because then it's so painful for my eye.

It's become this thing.

And it feels like uh the end of a pencil eraser, but like it's a little bit gritty.

And the more I ignore the injury and try to pretend it's okay and that I'm fine and it's not really there, the grittier it gets until it feels like there's sandpaper wrapped around a pencil eraser at that surgery site.

Not pleasant.

Don't recommend it.

SPEAKER_03: No, I mean, I mean I was sitting here thinking to myself, I mean, I know how horrible it is just to have dry eyes just from allergies.

That's no comparison to what you're talking about.

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow.

SPEAKER_04: So and it it doesn't, it hasn't left, you know, with that.

SPEAKER_03: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: I I did the work.

I was still, thank goodness my retina has settled in, seems to be knocking on wood, seems to be doing all right.

But I had to even change little things like I was a right side sleeper.

Now I have to be a left side sleeper because I have to sleep in such a way that it encourages that retina to go where it needs to go and to lay flat.

SPEAKER_00: Wow.

SPEAKER_04: Doesn't sound like a big change, but try sleeping in a way that's not natural.

SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes.

Oh my gosh.

Just isn't it like crazy though how life sometimes it's like it's like I I'm thinking of like the ocean and how the waves come in in sets?

And I I look at like your story that you're talking, and I'm like, it's just the pounding of one wave after another on your on your life and on your health.

And yet, though somehow you pulled through, how is that go back to the art?

Or what has kept you going?

I mean, despite all of these odds sacked against you, what what has been the driving force?

SPEAKER_04: That is a really good question.

I wish that I actually had a better answer.

SPEAKER_03: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: I think it's an innate sense of resilience.

I didn't know I was resilient until it was after the surgery, and I was talking to a good friend who known me for a long time about what it was like.

She just went, You're doing what?

She's like, This is your daily existence?

And I was like, you know, yeah.

She said, I how are you that strong?

I didn't know I was strong because I felt really weak.

You know, I was having such deep depths of grief.

And I I was also struggling with some pretty severe depression.

For over 10 years, I was suicidally depressed.

And I do not say that lightly.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: Because if I could have willed myself out of existence, I would have repeatedly many times.

I suppose what was the through line of that resilience, what was getting me through all the experiences I've described, and then everything that came after, in all honesty, it is my higher self, even though it has often not felt like it.

My higher self knows that I am here for a reason and has literally pulled me out of traffic.

And I've misstepped because I'm exhausted, or I just didn't see something because I have problems.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: There is something I am here to do that I have not completed yet.

And it has to do with the artwork I do now.

That much I know.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: And that I am to learn how to have a sense of self-love so deep that it cannot be shaken by anything, whether it is parents who don't love you like you wish they would.

You know, or a spouse who can't be there quite the way you need.

Or I I've had some really like stuff we're talking about here is the tip of the iceberg.

I've had some really horrendous life experiences that apparently other people don't have.

The best reason I can come about through is we're here as souls to grow and expand and to experience deep, deep joy in a way that we cannot experience if we're not incarnated.

I am being asked to have a sense of that inner love I was talking about, joy and self-empowerment so vast that I can share it with others and help everyone I meet find their own.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: That is the through line.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: The best I can describe it.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

So was there a breaking point for you when you were going through these horribly dark times of your life when you talk about being suicidal?

Was there any moment that happened that you can pinpoint as the breaking point when the tide shifted?

SPEAKER_04: Yes.

I I was dealing with some pretty, like even worse depression.

It to the point where it just felt constant all the time, unescapable.

And a lot of it had to do with, you know, just diabetes.

I was so burnt out, exhausted.

Unfortunately, type 1 diabetes, severe depression, and suicidal thoughts go hand in hand.

I've come to learn after the fact.

I didn't even know I was depressed.

I just thought I was really sad.

I didn't have the language for it.

And I also thought that everyone must feel like I felt.

There was a family party, one beautiful day in the fall.

You know, everything smelled amazing.

I was expecting to be really happy.

I was really looking forward to a break from the depression and from how exhausted I was from the diabetes and the eye injury and all of the things.

I wanted one day of joy.

I didn't think that was too much to ask, but it turns out it was.

I had dressed up.

I didn't really dress up that often.

It was one of the last times I ever wore makeup because that's one of the side effects of my injury.

I can't take off makeup without hurting myself.

So I looked really nice for a change that day.

I took a selfie before everything got really bad because I was trying so hard to be happy.

And I rarely took selfies then.

But you know, I take selfies now, I consider them an act of self-love and self-acceptance.

But then I was always the person behind the camera.

I was never the person in front of it, and I only drew myself if I absolutely had to.

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: So I thought it was going to be a nice day.

There was an argument that broke out.

I was asked to go intervene because sometimes I can pull situations down.

This one seemed determined to be a hot situation.

Someone else came in and informed me that my presence was not wanted.

Neither was I, and she was pretty awful.

Actually, the people who were making the disturbance were awful, and this particular person was really awful and unkind.

It's funny how it's the little, well, it's not really, it's not ha ha funny.

It's odd how it's the little tiny things at just the right moment can be the breaking stuff.

And that was the breaking stuff.

The last thing that I needed at that time was someone to tell me I was worthless.

You know, they didn't think people don't actually usually come out and say you're worthless.

But they can say an awful lot of other things, and their body language can get that message right across very effectively.

SPEAKER_03: Yep.

SPEAKER_04: So I found myself standing on the end of a dock, trying not to cry and growing the makeup, because at a party, that's like not a thing to do.

I failed.

I can make non-run mascara run.

You know, tears leaking out from one of my eyes, and the water was just, you know, it it amazes me how in a at a time that was so dark, it's so awful, that I could still appreciate the beauty of the sunlight sparkling on the waves of the lake.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: That it's always amazed me how that appreciation and good things in life can be so close to that dark stuff.

I was trying to figure out how to get myself to drown in probably three or four feet of beautiful crystal clear water.

I know how to swim and I'm over five feet tall.

I I just couldn't get myself to get in that water and just go.

I felt like such a horrible failure.

I can't even I can't even die.

What I've come to realize now is my body, by not cooperating, was trying to tell me something really, really important that maybe I wanted to live.

I remember standing there wondering, how in the world do you not feel this way?

And it also dawned on me that the very same people who had been triggers for this, who had helped me to feel so awful, they didn't make me feel awful.

No one can make you do anything, not really, you know, it's in your mind.

They they can't make you do anything, but they can help you an awful lot to feel pretty terrible.

SPEAKER_00: Yep.

SPEAKER_04: It occurred to me that these people would not even attend my funeral if I had one.

And then what followed on that was why in the world was I allowing these not great people to help me in such an awful way?

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: When they cared so little about me that I knew they wouldn't even go to my funeral because too busy, too important.

Yeah.

And that actually was an incredible breakthrough.

Because what followed on that was how in the world do I learn to want to live?

I I had been so depressed and suicidal for so long.

I didn't know how to people actually want to live.

No idea.

Later on, that became how do I want to live joyfully?

Because me and Joy didn't really go together.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: And then it was like that through line that has kept me alive.

My higher self was waiting for me to ask that question.

How do I learn to want to live?

It was the most profound experience I have ever had.

It was, I can't remember what she said, but my higher self and all of that amazing divine love and joy and creation that goes with that was there.

It was warm, golden.

And I was enveloped in the sense that everything is going to be okay, and it's not just gonna be okay, it's going to be amazing.

Hang in there.

We've got you.

You are loved.

You are loved.

I wish I could remember exactly what was said, but that was the general gist.

SPEAKER_03: Yes.

Yes.

That you you're loved, you are enough, you're worthy.

All of those things.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah.

So I I walked away from From that doc, and a couple weeks later, and I I wish I could say the life got better instantly.

It didn't, but I did carry with me that seed of love, that that core in my heart beginning of self-love and acceptance and joy.

And what I also carried with me was a desire to figure out how to want to live.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: I was going to um a local art studio, and uh I'm always in a rush.

I also have ADHD.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: Translates for me into absolutely no clue about time.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: So again, but just always running late because just can't do time.

I had nothing to draw, and I I got there and I didn't want to really make a big disturbance.

I had my cell phone, I had the selfie, and I was like, oh, I need to practice drawing humans.

I had been doing this, started the series because it kind of happened a couple weeks in a row where I just didn't have anything to draw.

So I'd started this idea of drawing goddesses and like goddesses in nature and how how they would feel about what's going on in our world.

And this particular day, with that selfie I had taken on the day of that party, I decided, what the heck?

I'm not concerned about drawing myself.

I'm just using my face as a beginning framework for creating this work of art.

And I'm just gonna let the work of art take me where it will.

I'm going to release all expectations and just let the artwork grow and develop and be what it is without worrying anything else.

So I surrendered to the art and to the process of creating, working on that selfie.

Drawing session time ended.

I put the drawing away, didn't think about it, put it next to the other two.

I'd started for the next couple weeks.

I kind of did the same thing where I kept showing up without something to draw, but I just I knew I needed to be in this art studio.

And I, you know, had to take a couple other selfies for a couple other ones.

And then one day I something happened and I couldn't take another selfie.

And I I maybe I ran out of paper.

I can't remember what it was.

But, anyways, I went to pull the drawings out.

So it occurred to me, like, oh, well, why don't I just go and finish this art, these artworks I've started?

And when I pulled them out, especially that one that I'd taken with that party selfie, I just about fell over.

I didn't know it, but I had drawn my higher self, and that was that was amazing.

Uh like I did not know.

I'm the artist, I'm the one who drew it.

I didn't know what I'd drawn.

SPEAKER_03: So, so I have to ask, what do you mean when you say your higher self?

What does that mean?

And what did that look like?

SPEAKER_04: I love that question because it's a higher self is to us right now, as we are right now, what we are now to say our kindergarten selves.

You know, you imagine what it would be like to be an adult and you know, to have all the freedom to do all the things and stay up late and eat all the cake you want.

You know, a little getaway.

Yes, you have no idea what being an adultish type creature actually is.

Our higher selves are that to us.

Just so much more beautiful, complex, faceted, with so much depth that our younger selves couldn't imagine.

We're like the little kid to our higher self.

SPEAKER_02: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: Our higher selves are really amazing.

The more I've done this, and I've done five of myself, which I've learned, your higher self wants you to understand certain things about you at different stages in your life.

So you can have an infinite number of higher self drawings and paintings done because you're always growing, changing, and evolving.

And our the choices we're making today allow us to expand even more.

So and we can understand in greater depth who we're here to be, what we're here to do, why we're here.

Your higher self is to us, it feels fluid, but in reality, your higher self is all of that divine love and creation energy.

Hard to describe.

Yeah.

So many paintings and drawings, just you know, and I always feel like I'm getting just a very tiny tip of the pencil.

SPEAKER_03: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: Well, your higher self might not necessarily be human.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: Your higher self, they they come through as what will be the most helpful for you.

And we are eternal beings in a really great way, which means that our higher self might not be look like we do right now.

Our higher selves are so much more vast.

Your higher self, so if you're currently wearing a woman's body, your higher self might actually be male.

If you're if you're currently wearing a man's body, your higher self actually could be female, or might just sometimes it's both.

It's this wonderful feminine and masculine combination.

It really depends on what they feel would be most helpful for you to see.

SPEAKER_03: In terms of this drawing, is it something that only somebody that somebody has to be the one who draws it themselves, or can somebody, an artist, somebody like you, draw it for somebody?

SPEAKER_04: You can do them for yourself.

I discovered that I have the ability to do it for others.

SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay.

So so expand um expand how that how that kind of process works with somebody.

I'm very intrigued on this.

SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Oh, but one of the really wonderful things that was particularly healing about this, and this is why I do these higher self-drawings.

It was the first time I was able to see myself with clarity and love.

All my light, all my shadow, the whole being that happens to be me, Kristen Gerard, in this lifetime.

That that is really wonderful.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: And even when I'm having really bad days, to have this talisman, and that's really what I do becomes for people, is it's it's a talisman to remember who you are, and that maybe today life is falling apart, but it's happening for you, not to you, in an absolutely incredible way that is beyond your imagination, and that sometimes even the worst things, like that day I was standing on the dock, turn out to be some of the most beautiful things.

Yes.

So when I'm doing these for other people, I tend to get like I'm pausing because it's like a lot of information coming.

SPEAKER_02: Okay, yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_04: And it it's it's hard to describe in words.

Like I give me some color and I can do it.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: But I'll come as close as I can.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: So say I was going to be drawing yours.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: So what I do is I talk with you, I get to know you a bit, and I start getting the sense of what your higher self wants to show you, to communicate to you in the here and now.

And there are people who do these with music, which is wonderful.

SPEAKER_03: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: So for me, what happens is I'll I'll get a sense and I'll just start following what my pencil.

Usually I start them as drawings, but I'm at lately now, I'm just shifting to pure color just to get because it's so much fun to get onto the canvas.

And I never know.

Like it could go this way, and then it's like, nope, we're going that way.

SPEAKER_00: Uh huh.

SPEAKER_04: It evolves, you know, it's like the you know, they're they're 2D paintings that I do, but they feel to me like 3D sculptures that go back and forward through space and time.

SPEAKER_03: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: I never know.

Like, I think I get a sense of where the drawing of the painting is going, and then it tends to evolve and do its own thing.

But what it starts with is I'll get a flash of vision of whatever should be on the that drawing or painting.

Or I also do things like uh, like I did a painting of the divine energy of love and what that looks like.

And what's funny is because I I am because I I'm channeling this stuff, I don't always realize what I'm drawing and painting.

So I did this painting, it's a divine energy of love.

I didn't realize that I'd actually already painted something very similar.

Because I'd like I to I do my artworks and then I put them away so that they can dry and cure.

SPEAKER_03: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: I got one of them out the other day so I could photograph it.

And I was like, you couldn't have told me that I was going to be painting divine energy and love in two different paintings, and it was going to show up so accurately.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: And both.

It's an amazing thing to me as the the person who was channeling and painting.

You would think I would know every single little detail that's in the paintings, but because I am going on what I am guided to paint, it's very fluid, and I often don't actually realize what I put down until I try to describe it in words, or I'm seeing things that I did years apart, and I'm like, oh my God.

This is cool.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: But like so with the divine energy of loved one, I was just told yellow.

SPEAKER_02: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: Okay, I'm just gonna start painting yellow.

And then, you know, like I I was told start painting pink.

And there was this thing that needed to come out, and I didn't realize it was a pattern, and it turns out that that painting evolved into this thing that looks like a flower, but it's also like kind of glows in the center and it it has this rippling wave out kind of energy.

So, you know, that's when I'm channeling words, but when I'm say I were to channel your portrait, so the way it comes through.

So I'm just gonna describe what's coming through right now.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: So I've been seeing blue all day, and I know that it is you, and I know that it is your specific blue, and it's the kind of blue that you see when you're looking down through the water, and the sunlight is kind of trickling down, and it's every color of turquoise there could possibly be.

And there's gold rippling waves in it.

And when I'm looking at this, like when what's coming through for you is there's this vastness, like I'm seeing these deep underwater caves.

For some reason, water is the thing that keeps coming through the most for you, and that's really the way these drawings work.

Yeah, they they evolve, and I I you know it says blue, and then it starts showing me the kinds of blue, and then it's showing me these caves now, and there's this feeling of depth and resonance in the caves that is extraordinarily peaceful, and I'm hearing a song, and it's what's interesting with these paintings is I hear stuff a lot, and I also feel them in my body a lot.

And what I'm getting, what I'm looking you know, in my imagination at this higher self for you, I'm seeing it just it it feels like rippling waves of love, and it's not a clamshell, but it's kind of unfolding.

And when I look and I wait, because a lot of times the paintings they'll feel almost like moving pictures to me.

I'm hearing very clear, pure notes.

It's as if it's not whale song, but that's the that's the word that's coming through next, in combination with the kind of singing you might hear when you're in a monastery, and that you know, the that feeling of water.

When I ask to see, sometimes they'll show me just this energy, and I'm seeing these stars coming through that are in white and yellow, and they have this expanding your energy is all about expansion, yeah.

And there's this well of deep calm.

When I ask to see, sometimes I will see like humanoid, like human figures, or sometimes I'll see something else.

When I ask to see you, I'm shown a rippling lattice work of like you know, like ocean waves when they're coming up over your your toes, yes, and they're that delicate, frothy.

I'm feeling that is actually being you.

Oh wow, and it kind of ripples back and forth, and it's there is so much light that your higher self wants you to understand about you.

And when I'm looking at they're showing me a whole body, and um when I when I say they, it's as if like your higher self is talking to my higher self and is helping me to create this word picture for you.

And what I'm being shown is when I look at your heart center, that is what's coming through strongest, and it's also rippling up into the top of your head a bit and creating these really that frothy wave on your toes feeling.

But it's very it's warm, but with that little bit of like coolness that you know makes your spine tingle.

SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04: But it is reminding me of this a chrystanthium, you know, where they have all those little infinite petals and they're just warm and creamy in the middle.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: That's the kind of visual I'm getting.

Like it's it's it's not a flower, but it has that that's what it looks like visually, and that's what it feels like, you know, if you were to tactily touch it, like that just delicate, beautiful, but yet it's stronger than you think.

You know, you think about all the rainstorms that you know a flower bud can withstand and then the sunlight, and just incredible.

SPEAKER_00: Wow.

SPEAKER_04: Hearing birds, the word seagull came through, but it's not a seagull, it's albatross, is the next word that comes through.

It's a big bird.

The impression is a bird of flight with vast wings that can fly great distances, and that bird is settling behind your energy and showing these wonderful vast wings, and they're darker in color.

It's like the night sky, and stars are shining through that.

That seems to be the the finished artwork for now.

Wow.

That's what it's like when I'm doing painting the drawings.

But they when I'm painting them visually, they can take they can take a couple of months for that energy to come through.

It's like um it's like Reiki, but so much more expansive.

And the the paintings I found they they have a healing presence, which was a happy accident.

I didn't know they had that.

Yes, because I'm I'm around them so much, and then I I I I walked in my studio one day, I'm like, it feels like a church in here.

I'm like, oh, I think it is.

SPEAKER_03: Yes.

Wow, it's so beautiful because it's obviously much more than just painting, it's much more than saying that you're a good artist or you're you're creative.

It's much, much deeper than that.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, my higher self has told me that I am a guide, a healing guide, and artwork is the way I guide.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

Wow.

No, I have to ask because obviously, you know, this this helps the people who who come to you and and and you paint these higher self paintings and and drawings.

But for you in life today, I would imagine it's a healing for you as well.

Something that just is uh a purpose where you're able to use everything that you've kind of been through, everything that you've experienced, channeled together into each and every piece of artwork.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's it's like everything I've gone through has given me a sense of compassion and love, so that I'm able to help the people I do these paintings for with more depth than I would have been able to if I hadn't gone through all this stuff, if I hadn't been in the AP version of Earth's group.

SPEAKER_03: Exactly.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and you know, it it makes that joy I experience, you know, like when I was describing what yours looks like.

It is one of the best feelings in the world.

It feels so right.

It's what I am here to do.

It's been interesting for me because I've I I've been kind of going through this thing where I've been cleaning out my whole house and everything, and basically going through everything that I still have managed to carry with me through all the years.

I've been doing these all along and I didn't know it.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: I I was drawing angels in fifth grade.

SPEAKER_03: Wow.

SPEAKER_04: When I should have been doing social studies, which I was later informed.

SPEAKER_03: You are so funny.

Wow.

SPEAKER_04: I've been doing them all along, and yeah, yeah, it's what I was born to do, but I didn't know it.

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but that's that's life.

That's getting to have the joy of experiencing life and all of its ups and its downs is the fact that I mean, think about it.

How kind of boring would life be if we knew how it was all gonna turn out, you know?

Yeah, you know, I mean, think about that.

That's like going in to watch a movie and already knowing how it ends.

And as much as we would love to know, it ruins the whole story.

And so I look at that as life.

We're not supposed to know how it goes because that would ruin the story.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and a a lot of the things we go with, like I I did not appreciate my artwork and what I could do the way I do now until after that horrible eye surgery when I was left.

You know, I I do best when I can stare straight ahead.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: And it's not that like I'm just staring straight ahead, but like that that's you know, my eyes can focus on what's in front of me and not worry about what's going to the side.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: That's what I like.

I I actually have a really hard time doing anything but my artwork.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: And I I also didn't realize, you know, you get caught up in like, oh, so-and-so does this better, so-and-so does that better.

I can't, I'm just not good enough to do X.

I I was not able to understand what it is I do until after I met my higher self and I was able to see myself clearly.

I kept getting bogged down in all the shadows that I couldn't see the light because I had been told by society that, you know, I was flawed for having diabetes.

Yes, that I was not okay for being a very creative child, that I was valedictorian in my high school class.

I had four O's.

I think my lowest average was like a 3.96.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: But I was told I was told I wasn't smart.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: And that my curiosity and love of science didn't count.

You know, yeah, I'm a deeply spiritual person, and I love science because it helps me appreciate the wonder and vastness of the world we live in.

Yes, our world is incredible, exactly.

And I'm so grateful for science.

It keeps you and me alive.

SPEAKER_03: Exactly.

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04: We're able to do this podcast because the science is amazing.

That's right.

And yet we're also deeply spiritual beings.

And science and spirituality are not separate.

Yeah.

They go right hand in hand.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_04: And the more we question and we ask, why and how come and where did this come from and how did this come to be?

And it expands our world, it expands who we are.

Everything that helps us question and have curiosity, that's sacred stuff.

SPEAKER_03: Yes.

Yes.

Wow.

Well, Kristen, where can somebody go to learn more, to get in touch with you, especially if they're is just blown away by these paintings, these drawings, these just beautiful works of art that that you've you've talked to us so much about, these higher versions of ourselves.

Where can somebody go to learn more and contact you?

SPEAKER_04: If you'd like to know more, you can go to radianceandgrit.com.

That's the name of my business, Radiance and Grit.

SPEAKER_01: Love it.

unknown: Thank you.

SPEAKER_04: Radiance is um that inner light within you.

That's why I call myself a luminary artist, because I show you the light of who you are.

And then grit is what gets us through life.

It's our resilience, it's our higher self.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: Bringing us through.

So it's it's radianceandgrits and then.com.

If you're looking want to look specifically at the portraits, go to radianceandgrit.com backslash portraits.

I'm on Facebook and Instagram, all those places.

But really, the best place to see what I do is at radianceandgrit.com and to sign up for my art and soul letters because that's where I, you know, I do a blog post, I let you know there.

I do a YouTube video, I let you know there.

I do a great podcast like this, I let you know there.

SPEAKER_03: Wonderful.

Well, fantastic.

Well, I will be positive that the link for your website and everything is left in the episode show notes.

So so for you who are interested in digging this whole thing as much as me, just be sure to check out the show notes where you can find the link and for easy access to click on over.

SPEAKER_04: Oh, almost forgot.

I have a free gift for your listeners.

SPEAKER_03: Oh my goodness, we love free gifts.

SPEAKER_04: And it's uh, these are really cool.

I have these seven affirmations to help you love who you are.

And they're on.

So I when I'm doing these paintings, I have these fleeting moments right before I paint something else in that are absolutely gorgeous.

These affirmations are on those moments of painting that I just I loved and I thought were just too beautiful to let pass without taking a photo of them.

So it's the quote on these wallpapers you can have for your phone or for your computer.

SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.

SPEAKER_04: And you get one.

A day for a week, and with each one, I talk about the things that kind of get in the way, you know, why you might have a hard time loving yourself.

We talk about that and then you get an affirmation that helps you at the end work through that thing.

And they're designed so that you can do one a day for a week and then restart, or you can focus on one for the month.

The more you do the cycle of the affirmations, the more helpful they become because they really sink into your being and help you love who you are, which helps empower who you are.

So that's radiance and grip.com backslash love.

SPEAKER_03: All right.

Wonderful, wonderful.

Well, that also I will be positive is is there in the show notes.

I must say that this has been such a beautiful conversation with you today to discover your your whole story, but really just us understanding the this idea of who we're meant to be, what our what our journey you know does for us, where it takes us into the unknown.

And it's scary, and sometimes we want to know, but we just trust in life.

And I look at you and I look at everything that you've taught us today, and I just all I can say is just how beautiful it all is, and what a beautiful person you are.

And I um am truly, truly thankful for you taking the time out of your day to be here on the podcast.

So sincerely, uh from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

SPEAKER_04: Oh, thank you.

This has been wonderful, and it's an it's an honor to be here and to share this and to help you and to help everyone here.

You know, we all rise and heal together.

SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes, wonderful.

Well, well, thank you.

And for you listening today, I can only hope that you have thoroughly enjoyed this conversation as much as I have.

It's just there's so much wisdom, so much peace, so much just being spoken.

And uh, I just truly hope that you've enjoyed today's episode here on the podcast.

And we'll uh look forward to seeing you again next week.

Hey, real quick before you go, I have one last thought to leave you with.

I of course hope that you've enjoyed today's episode, but more importantly, I want to remind you that I never want you to listen to an episode of this podcast to hear something that I have to say or that my guest has to share and think, wow, I wish I could be like them.

I wish I could overcome my own challenges and do the great things that they are doing, but I just can't.

Well, friend, that's where you're wrong.

unknown: You're wrong.

SPEAKER_03: You are capable, you are able, and you darn sure are deserving of having all that you can imagine in this life.

There's nothing special about me or any guests I have on this podcast.

We are all just normal people trying to make it in this life.

And so I encourage you to take a look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you know what?

I can do it too.

Now, of course, if you would like help along that way, reach out to me.

Whether that's as a listener of this podcast, a friend, or if you'd like to work with me as a coach.

My contact information is inside of every episode's show notes, just like this one.

So go down, check out my contact information, and reach out to me today.

With that said, I encourage you to take on the day every day with grit, grace, and inspiration.