The Secret to Communicating Better: Listen Like You're Blind. And talk like You're Brenden from MasterTalk.

We both have that laugh that people go, like, okay, stop laughing.

It's like me and you have the same one.

Like me and you have the same.

SPEAKER_02: Everybody just collectively said, yeah, stop, please.

SPEAKER_00: That's how we get along because we have the same laugh.

So for people like us, humor makes sense.

SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Lowdown with Kevin Lowe, the podcast shining light on the inspiring stories of ordinary people choosing to live out anything but ordinary lives.

All in the hope that you will be inspired to live out your best life.

Because this life, it's meant to be lived.

And this podcast is meant to inspire you to do it.

Well, hello there, and welcome to the podcast.

My name is Kevin Lowe.

I am the creator and host of The Low Down with Kevin Lowe.

And I'm thrilled to have you joining me today.

This is episode number 113, where we are talking about communicating better.

Now, communication skills, they are something that we all rely on in life.

And today we're diving into it big time with the guests I'm speaking to today.

Now, we're not talking about communicating better just in terms of being on stage or giving presentations, but just about your everyday interactions with people.

People in your home or at the grocery store, at work, on a Zoom call, or recording a podcast.

That's the type of communication we're talking about, is all types of communication.

Now, with this subject of communicating better, I have to admit where I've been failing at this.

My grandmother, who I call Nana, has always said that I am her most thankful grandchild.

Because no matter what it has been all growing up, even into my adult years, if Nana gives me something, if Nana does something for me, I say thank you.

And so that is what dubbed me her most thankful grandchild, unlike those two granddaughters of her who obviously have never really been thankful at all.

Now, she also says that I am her favorite grandson, but I don't have much competition since I'm her only grandson.

So we will just stick with the most thankful grandchild, which puts me above the other two granddaughters.

There's a point to this story.

My point here is that I have been failing to say thank you to the people who are supporting this podcast.

There's one person in particular, I'm not going to mention his name, but week after week, he has been buying me coffee.

Now, that is something that I have set up with buy me a coffee, which he's not really buying me cups of coffee.

He's more donating money to me as a content creator.

It's something that if you've not heard of, buy me a coffee.

It's basically like a way in which you can help support the content creators that you listen to, whether that's podcasters, whether that's musicians, whoever it is, all they have to do is they set up an account with Buy Me a Coffee, creates a little miniature website for them, and you can go on and donate money.

Kind of think of it like old school: a guitarist sitting on the sidewalk, strumming a few beats, and you come by and drop some money into the open guitar case.

It's kind of like that, but it's called Buy Me a Coffee.

And this one particular listener, week after week, has been surprising me with money donated, which is just really incredible.

Because as much as I love doing this podcast, it does cost money to produce each and every episode.

And well, it's just pretty awesome to have somebody who loves what I'm doing enough to contribute to the fund.

So, to you, I want to sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for week after week being such an amazing supporter and for making this podcast possible.

Now, for you, if you would also like to be one of these awesome listeners who takes it a step forward, just check out today's show notes where you will find a link to my page for Buy Me a Coffee.

All right.

So that was me communicating to you how grateful I am for the support.

Now, today, though, we are talking about more than just extending gratitude to one another, but we're talking about all types of communication skills because we are talking with Brendan, the creator of Master Talk.

Master Talk is an incredible channel on YouTube where Brendan sits down and talks to you about how you can talk a little bit better, communicating better in all aspects of life.

Brendan is an amazing guy.

Me and him have an awesome time talking together, laughing together.

And well, it's inside of today's episode.

Before I turn over the mic to Brendan, I would like to tell you that if you want to learn more about what Brendan is doing with Master Talk, please be sure to check out the episode show notes, where I will leave a link to his YouTube channel and more information where you can find out what he's doing, keep up to date with what's going on in Brendan's life.

Like I said, Brendan's a really awesome guy who I felt really blessed and honored to have the opportunity to meet and have on my show today.

So with that, I want to turn it over to the man of the hour, Brendan, creator of Master Talk.

SPEAKER_00: So how it started was when I was in university/slash college.

I went to business school and I did these things called case competitions.

Think of it like professional sports, but for nerds, Kevin.

So other guys my age, it's kind of like the only way to explain this.

Well, other guys my age were playing basketball and baseball and all the other dangerous things.

You probably wouldn't see me playing.

I was doing presentations competitively, and that's how I learned how to speak.

But then as I got older, Kevin, I started coaching a lot of the students in that specific program to do well at communication and specifically those competitions.

Not because I was special or great at communication or that stuff.

It's because we didn't have anybody better.

Yeah.

So I just started helping them.

Yeah.

I wasn't looking for anything.

I was, I wasn't charging them either back then.

It was mostly just to help people and mentor them.

And that's where the idea for Master Talk came a few years later, because I realized that everything that I was sharing with the students wasn't really available online on the internet for free.

Because a lot of the advice you kind of hear on communication is like, be yourself or follow your dreams.

And I said, this is nonsense.

So I started making videos and it led into something I never imagined.

SPEAKER_02: Wow.

Okay.

Okay.

I love this.

So when we're talking about communication, are we specifically talking about speeches, presentations, something that has you up in front of a crowd or all types of communication?

SPEAKER_00: Definitely all types.

So I started with presentations, Kevin, but I've definitely expanded since then.

And the reason it is simply this communication is one of the most important skills we'll learn in our life because it impacts not just the presentations we give at work with the example you gave, but every moment of our life.

It's the way that we talk to our family.

It's the way that we order food at a restaurant.

It's the way that we meet strangers when we travel.

And once we realize that communication is about leading a more fulfilling life, that's when we start to take it very seriously.

SPEAKER_02: Okay.

Okay.

I love it.

I love it.

Well, this opens up the topics.

I have so many questions that I'm super interested to get your take on.

But I would love to first just just ask you your opinion.

Why do you think so many people are terrible at communication skills?

SPEAKER_00: Wonderful question.

You know, it's funny.

Well, a lot of people used to ask me something similar, Kevin.

Hey, where does the fear of communication come from?

Why is that?

And I would say, I don't know, San Diego, that's where it's from, probably.

But but after after some time, I I've refined the theory.

So you caught me at the right time.

I figured out an answer that hopefully will help.

Wonderful.

And so I thought about it.

And what I realized, Kevin, is let's go back to basics a little bit.

Where do we start presenting in our life?

Because that's probably where the problem is.

And for sure, it's going to be the education system, the school system, elementary, high school, that's what we learn how to speak for most of us.

But here's the deal, Kevin.

All of those presentations have three key problems.

The first one is all of them are mandatory.

We don't wake up one morning and say, hey, Kevin, you want to get breakfast and present all day?

Says nobody ever.

So that's problem number one.

Problem number two is you don't really get to pick the topic, and they're always different presentations.

You're not really presenting the same thing over and over again.

So you don't get better over time.

So when we're 11 years old or 13 years old, and we go up to our history teacher, the history teacher doesn't come up to us and say, Hey Kevin, hey Brendan, what are you guys passionate about?

Do you guys care about this historical time period or podcasting or impacting people's lives or cupcakes?

No, you gotta talk about Shakespeare, and you're like, uh, who's that?

And you kinda, or what's that?

And then you kind of figure it out over time.

So that's problem number two.

But here's problem number three, Kevin.

It's the worst of all.

Every presentation is tied to a punishment.

So if you don't do a great job, you don't get a pat on the back in the education system, you get a slap on the wrist, you lose 30% of your grade, you lose 20% of your mark.

So what does this lead to, Kevin?

It leads to the following conclusion.

If every presentation is mandatory, different and tied to a punishment, it means we're conditioned to believe that communication is a chore, like doing the dishes, and that's why we suck at it.

SPEAKER_02: Wow.

Okay.

Okay, so San Diego, a much funnier answer.

But I agree.

But the three points that you've just laid out are definitely more professional in this why I have you on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00: You know what's funny?

I said that as a joke a few months ago.

Okay.

And the the girls that were interviewing me laughed for three minutes straight.

I was like, oh, I guess this is funny, and should probably repeat this again.

SPEAKER_02: Just if you if you're ever on tour, just remember if you're in San Diego, say New York.

SPEAKER_00: That's actually a very good point.

I think you saved me from like a big mistake.

SPEAKER_02: I never even thought about that.

That's such a good point.

Oh my gosh.

So, but but what I love about this theory that you've come up with, this idea is I do look at it and I think you're right.

It does all start in in elementary school.

And I think to myself, maybe that's the reason.

Because I think if you ask a lot of people like their biggest fears, a lot of people are truly fearful of getting up in front of a group.

And I'm talking even just a small group of people.

And it probably stems back from being in elementary school and then probably having a bad experience with it.

Either kids laughed at them or the teacher gave them a bad grade, something that then left this lasting impact on what it meant to be up in front of people.

SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.

I completely agree.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So how does somebody go from being fearful about speaking in front of a room to being good at it?

I mean, how does that process even work when they're working with you?

SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, Kevin.

So let's start with the question.

How do we transition?

So now the idea is we see communication like a chore.

So the first step is to unlearn that behavior or that thought process.

Because it is not true, right?

Communication is a way for us to share impact, like the amazing podcast you have right now that we're on, right?

You're using your voice as a way to impact people in your communities and the people that follow you and look up to you.

And that's really the what communication is for.

So here's the question I want the audience to think about, Kev.

The question is how would your life change if you are an exceptional communication?

How would your life change if you were an exceptional communicator?

Or better yet, how would the world change if you were an exceptional communicator?

When you start to reflect on these questions, you start to do something that you've never really done with your communication, which is you start to dream about it.

You know, we dream about the expensive vacations we want to go on this year, the cars and houses that we want to buy.

When was the last time we pictured ourselves as exceptional communicators?

What if we lived in a world where we were one?

When we start to reflect on that, we start to find a burning desire as to why communication matters to us.

And for all of us, the answer is going to be different.

For me, it's about, you know, getting on a podcast, sharing my message with the world, uh, do making YouTube videos.

For you, it's it's something similar, posting on social, creating more impact.

But for somebody else, it might simply be traveling more.

It could be, you know, my wife is always yelling at me.

Maybe if I communicated better, she'd yell at me a little bit less.

Or maybe the way I treat her isn't as good.

But if I communicate better, it will improve.

So for all of us, that reason is different.

So I'd say the first step, numero uno, is really reflecting on that question.

So we get excited about implementing a lot of the tactics that we're going to be talking about in this podcast.

SPEAKER_02: Okay, okay.

I love that.

Now, again, talking about more so getting up in front of people, giving speeches.

What do you think about?

Because I have my own thought process on it.

And I first off, I'll just say I think it's kind of stupid, but the whole thing of, oh, just picture everybody in the crowd is is in their underwear.

Well, first and foremost, to me, I find that probably a little bit more disturbing than than calming.

So, but but is that some do you do you tell the people you work with to just picture the people in their underwear?

SPEAKER_00: You know, that's the reason why I started the bloody YouTube chat.

I was like, what is this nonsense?

Because the problem with that advice, Kev, is what if everyone's attractive, then what do you do?

Ooh.

It's like what Yep, that's true.

SPEAKER_02: Does a girl in front of you they're attractive?

It only works if the crowd is ugly.

SPEAKER_00: But then if they're ugly, then that's distracting too.

Because then you don't want to look at them too much.

No offense to ugly people in the world.

We're all beautiful in our own way.

But you get what I mean.

Like then you don't want to stare into their eyes.

Then you're not doing eye content properly.

So so yeah, it becomes a challenge either way you look at the coin here.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

So so the the the tip there is skip the whole underwear thing, everybody leave their clothes on and just move on to the next step.

SPEAKER_00: Yes, and let's jump into that next step.

SPEAKER_02: Okay.

That is so funny.

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00: So the next step, the the way I see it after we reflect on the question, is simply this, which is I call my easy threes.

What are three easy things that we can practice?

I'm a big fan of easy wins, Kevin, because once we build momentum and any skill that we do, that's what allows us to go, oh, I can actually do this.

I can actually get better at communication, which is the goal.

Is once we're convinced that that we can be great communicators, then anything is possible.

Then you'll go through all the YouTube videos, you'll watch all the tips, you'll implement all of them.

But the first step is really convincing yourself that you can be great.

So I call this my easy threes, and I'll pause after each one.

So the first one is called the random word exercise, Kevin.

All you have to do is pick a random word like rubber band, like string, like laptop, like lights, and create random presentations out of thin air on the spot about that random word.

And what I always like to tell people is if you can make sense out of nonsense, you can make sense out of anything.

And that's really the power that the random word exercise gives you.

And what's also nice about it is you don't have to do this alone either.

You can do this with your family.

If you have kids, you can do this with your kids, your nieces, your nephews.

Make it a fun family activity.

And what you'll find is after you do this exercise 15, 20 times, Kevin, you'll actually get really good at it really quickly.

And that gives you a bit of momentum to say I can be a great communicator.

SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

So I'll jump into the second one.

Yeah, yeah.

No, it's fine.

I usually pause in case you wanted to say something, or else I monologue for like five minutes.

Oh, yeah.

No, no, no.

You you keep you keep rolling.

You keep rolling.

Sounds good.

Every host is different.

So that's number one.

The the second one is an exercise they call question drills, Kevin.

So question drills just implies this.

We get asked questions all the time in our lives, whether we're guesting or hosting a podcast, like the questions I'm answering today, uh, whether we're with our clients and people, customers, prospects are asking us questions, or even from our family.

Did you take out the trash?

What about this?

Do you think I look fat in this dress?

Like you're always getting asked questions all the time.

So now the question becomes how can we be more proactive rather than reactive to the questions and reflections that people ask us?

So the exercise is fairly simple.

Every day for five minutes, answer one question, guess one question and answer it that you think the world will ask you.

So when I started Master Talk, because I was fairly young at the time, I was like 22 and I started coaching people, I needed people to ask me questions on my field until I had an answer for everything.

So every day for five minutes, I would answer one question that I think people would ask me, and I would write out an answer.

But if you do that for a year, Kevin, what only one question, you'll have answered 365 questions about your expertise, which is something very few people can say in their industry.

So that's number two.

Practice that once a day for five minutes.

That's all.

And then finally, number three, it's so simple, Kevin, that nobody does it.

Nobody does it.

And the exercise is simply there's two ways of doing this.

It's either sending a voice message to people or a video message to people.

And people appreciate this because very few people do it.

So what I recommend people do is make a list of five people that you really appreciate in your life, people who already pour into you, people who already talk highly about you, people who already support you, and send them a small voice note or video messages saying, Hey, Kevin, just want to say I'm thinking about you, love what you're doing with the podcast, keep doing the incredible work that you're doing.

So that's uh that's another thing that people can do.

SPEAKER_02: Okay, okay.

I love that.

I love it.

Now, do you feel as though people are better or worse at communicating via like words when it's audio only, so just over the phone, leaving a message, or when it's in person or on video, do you find that that makes a difference?

SPEAKER_00: I definitely do.

More in terms of energy.

So when you're in person, it's a lot easier to show up with energy because you feel the other person's essence as you're speaking with them.

But in the context of online, because sometimes we might not see their face, sometimes we're not in the same room as them.

Like I'm just alone in my basement right now.

Yes.

It's hard to show up with that same energy.

And that's why I've trained myself over the years, especially on a podcast, is really to talk to someone as if you've already known them for the last 10 years.

But of course, the first time you do this, it's challenging because you're sitting there and you're like, wow, this person knows a lot more about me than my mother does.

And then you have to navigate that.

But yeah, that's that's the big difference I see.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

Okay, okay, that's cool.

So that was actually a question that I have for you was, you know, I feel like, you know, in this online space that we've all been thrown into, you know, ever since the pandemic, you know, where Zoom now is is commonplace in so many different work environments.

It's difficult, though, you know, to communicate effectively through a digital platform like that versus being in person for the reasons that you just, you know, laid out.

Do you have any tips for somebody who is meeting on Zoom and they still want to try their best to portray that same type of energy, that vibe?

Any tips for how somebody can do that effectively?

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%, Kevin.

So there's three big differences I see between online and in-person workshops or presentations or even meetups over Zoom.

The first one is eye contact.

When you're in an in-person setting, let's say you're speaking to eight, ten people in a boardroom, you generally have to look around the crowd and stare into people's eyes and build that relationship with them.

In the online world, this becomes a lot easier because you only have to look in one direction, which is the camera lens.

So if you're looking at the camera lens directly, whether you're staring at one person or 10,000, it really feels like you're looking at them directly, all at the same time.

So that's the first difference.

The second difference is to your point, going back to energy.

It's a lot harder to show up with energy and enthusiasm when you're online versus in person.

So my advice is always get better at bringing your energy up offline, in person, get better at that setting and transfer as much of that energy as possible back into online.

Even today, my energy is still good online, but it's nowhere near as good as I am in person.

So I would say it's it's important for us to just do better in person and bring more of that back into the online setting.

And then the third piece, which is a bit counterintuitive, is audience accessibility.

So what does that mean?

If you're in person and you want feedback from your audience, there's very little friction.

You can just get out on a like on a conversation, have lunch with the people in the room, and just pick their brain.

But online, it's a lot more challenging because the the Zoom call just ends abruptly and you can't really have that organic conversation with them unless they stay on the call.

So you need to force those interactions.

That means you need to get on calls with them.

Ideally, you want to have lunch with them so that when you actually have those conversations in person or try to, you can build that same rapport that you would have done if the presentation was in person in the first place.

SPEAKER_02: Okay.

Okay.

That's great.

That's really good.

Yeah, because, you know, I'll I'll tell you to be honest, for myself, I'm much more nervous about getting on a Zoom call to do a presentation than I am to get up on stage in front of a crowd.

And I think for myself in particular, you know, my situation's a little bit different than most.

Being blind, is it truly like this situation where I am truly just talking to no one, you know, because you know, I'm staring at a camera that I can't see in the first place.

So, so my eyes are kind of shifting around, like, okay, I don't even know if I'm staring at the right spot or not.

And, you know, and then, you know, again, you're not getting that immediate just vibe coming from from people around you.

And so, so I definitely, for me, you know, it is to me, it's it's much more difficult, the whole, you know, Zoom world that we've we've encountered.

SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, Kevin.

You know, it's funny, as I was telling the tips, I was thinking about that as well.

It's like, huh, Kevin's blind.

So a lot of this, yeah, but because this is like kind of like the first situation I'm in where someone blind is interviewing me, which is fascinating.

So you're absolutely right.

I would say the way you compensate is definitely through accessibility and energy, because you can do that definitely still, but the difference now becomes you accentuate it.

Another thing that would be interesting to think about, potentially, I'm not sure if you can do this, but like I'm kind of thinking on the fly as well, where you would have like a physical item next to the camera lens that you can touch.

Yes.

So you know that you're looking at the camera lens.

And frankly, if you do it that way, I doubt anyone would even catch on that you're blind, even with your camera on, if you just always touch the physical object.

SPEAKER_02: Exactly, exactly.

Yeah, no, no, no.

I I think that's a great idea.

Yes.

Yeah, that's what I will when I've had to do some videos and I'll have somebody shooting me with an iPhone or something, is I will have them every once in a while just snap their finger.

So that way it refocuses my attention where the camera's at, you know?

So yeah, that's that's very good.

Yeah.

Now what do you feel as though the importance of story in in communication?

And in that, whether to me just talking with with friends, with with colleagues, or giving presentation, are you an advocate for including stories in in your your talks?

SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, Kevin.

I would say for me, stories uh allow us to emphasize key points of our message in a way that gets remembered.

You know, if human beings have trouble remembering facts and statistics, I'm definitely one of them.

But when we think about a story like Tony Robbins' salad bar story, where he was broke and he he bought a buffet dinner for his for some random person at a restaurant and it changed his life.

Like those stories you always remember.

But there's a caveat that I want to add before we jump into storytelling.

The caveat is this communication is like juggling 18 balls at the same time, Kevin.

Okay.

Where one of those balls is filler words, not singing ums and ahs, another one is smiling, another one is eye contact, another one is storytelling.

So if we try and juggle all 18 at the same time, naturally all 18 balls will fall to the ground.

So, how do we practice?

So, let me always like to do a little public service announcement.

The people who are winning right now, Kevin, who are listening to this episode, have already booked 15 minutes in their calendar tomorrow to do what?

You might think.

To spend five minutes doing the random word exercise, to spend five minutes doing the question drill, and to spend another five minutes to send a video or a voice message, ideally video if you could, depending on who's listening to the podcast.

And the reason is because the best way to speak naturally enough, oddly enough, coincidentally enough, is to speak.

So when you start booking that time in your calendar, 15 minutes a day, 30 minutes a week, that's when you get better.

And the reason I mentioned that in the context of your question, Kev, is because if somebody is not willing to do the random word exercise, which is simple compared to storytelling, it'll be really hard to learn that skill.

Because storytelling is way harder than doing the random word exercise as an example, because you really have to tell riveting stories.

Because even if you have the best story in the book and it sounds like this, uh, once upon a time I was born and raised in 1984, like you don't have the foundation to tell the story.

But but my I'll give you my quick spiel to the to the small group of people who have book time in their schedule to get better at this.

I would say the easy thing to remember is a quote by Les Brown that I'll summarize with the following.

The quote is never make a point without telling a story and never tell a story without making a point.

So what does that mean?

How do we translate that for the general public?

What Les is trying to say here is that every great story has a lesson that is thought of in advance.

Because you can tell stories about anything, but the real focus is to ask ourselves, what is the lesson first?

Like never give up, or always persevere, or the anyone in the world can be an exceptional communicator.

That's my that's my key lesson, usually my stories.

And then when we figure out the key outcome, the key lesson first, then we think about five, ten stories from our personal life or the lives of the people around us that we think can attach itself to that specific lesson.

Here's a quick example, and I'll throw it back to you.

One of my key outcomes is always anyone in the world can be an exceptional communicator.

So I've tried a bunch of stories, a bunch of ideas, and most of them sucked.

But the one that always works is my own struggles as a communicator, where I talk about my own journey where, you know, I studied in French my whole life.

It was a language I didn't know.

I had a broken left arm growing up.

I have a cast when I was younger, and I still have that broken left arm.

It's still crooked whenever I do keynotes and presentations.

And you would think that a communication expert studying communication, wrong.

I have a bachelor's degree in accountant.

So if I could do this, anyone would do this.

So notice how the story, Kevin, gets attached to the result that we want them to learn.

SPEAKER_02: Yes, I love that.

I love that.

And and I don't know if anybody else listening immediately had in their head a situation where exactly what you're talking about, when you're you're somewhere in somebody, whether whether you're in a group setting and people are just talking, or if it's somebody, you know, up on the podium and they go into this big long story, and the whole time you're wondering, hey, what does this have to do with anything?

And then and then they finish the story, and literally there was no point that tied it back to what they were talking about.

So again, the story, it has to have a point that relates to what you're talking about.

So yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00: 1000%.

And that's what people get wrong about storytelling.

You know, you're 100% on the money there, is you need to start with the point first.

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_00: Because if you just build the story and there's no point, you just waste a lot of time versus going, okay, I've got a bunch of stories in my life, but I need to start with what's the point, and then we figure out the story that matches the point that we want to drive.

SPEAKER_02: Yes, absolutely.

Absolutely.

Do you encourage people to include humor in their speeches?

And so I mean, obviously it would depend on the topic, but do you believe that that is something good as interaction with the audience, or do you steer away from that?

SPEAKER_00: Love that.

I see it as a tool that the right person can leverage.

Like, I think you're good at humor.

So for you it makes sense because you're a funny guy, you're laughing like me.

We have the same laugh, by the way, which is rare.

We both have that laugh that people go, like, okay, stop laughing.

It's like me and you have the same one.

Like maybe you have the same.

SPEAKER_02: Everybody just collectively said, Yeah, stop, please.

SPEAKER_00: That's how we get along because we have the same laugh.

So for people like us, humor makes sense because it's in line with our personality.

We like to be funny.

It doesn't matter if the joke doesn't land.

We have that, we're we're willing to be uncomfortable in those situations.

Though, for some people, I also wouldn't recommend humor if they're not naturally funny.

So, kind of what's the compromise here?

If you're already funny, definitely implement humor.

It's going to be the best thing you could do for your presentations, with the exception of a few serious meetings you got to take every now and then.

But for people who aren't funny, I would say start with the random word exercise.

Start with a lot of the easy threes we talked about.

Get better.

Just build your confidence up as a speaker first.

And if you want to jump into humor, I sincerely think, Kevin, anyone could be funny, even if they don't think they're funny.

But I think it's a journey.

So for people who aren't naturally funny, here's the advice, and I'll give you my secret away on the podcast.

The secret is I say the same joke over and over again all the time.

And that's what the best stand-up comedians do is whenever they do Netflix specials, a lot of people think they're making it up.

It's not true at all.

What they do is they they split test hundreds of different jokes in really small comedy clubs, like all of their shit jokes, and most of them suck, and then they pay attention to the ones that people are laughing at, and then they just reuse that and recycle the ones that do work.

But what's nice is if you're like a coach or a consultant or a thought leader, because you're only talking about the same topic every day, all the time, you can build in jokes that you can use forever.

Like the one that I told you about San Diego, that's a plant.

That's not something I made up.

I was just saying something random the other day and it was funny.

And I said, Oh, I should take a note on that and just keep reusing it.

And it's funny every time I say it.

But since it's to a new audience, Kevin, all the time who hasn't heard the joke, it's going to be funny to them.

So realize that you really only need one joke to be funny, and you're you need to be willing to try like a mad scientist 10, 20, 30 jokes and wait for the one to land and just reuse that for the rest of your life.

That's it.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love it.

I love it.

So, Brendan, I feel like the overall theme here is the fact that we are all communicators at heart.

We're we're all humans.

We're we're made to interact.

Sometimes, though, we've been programmed in a way where communication just, you know, hit us wrong in presentations or whatever it is.

But everybody can get better if you just work at it a little bit.

SPEAKER_00: Completely.

I always have believed in the idea, Kevin.

I don't think everyone needs a coach, right?

I think that's for specific people.

But what I do believe in my heart of hearts is everyone should get better at communication.

And the reason is simply this because communication impacts our life.

Like, for example, I'll give you a personal one.

You know, me and my sister and my mother, we all live together.

I haven't argued with them in over 10 years.

I don't remember the last time we had a fight.

That's how long it's been.

Not because we're special.

I mean, those two are special.

I'm the one who needs a little bit of work.

But I would say the the difference has really been we're all great communicators.

So if it's a problem or something happens, it doesn't last that long.

Because we talk it out and it gets it gets squashed in like three minutes, literally.

And that's really the key, is if we all get better just a little bit, right?

Just the easy threes, the video messages, right, to people that you love, not to random strangers, people that you love.

And then you could build your way up to random strangers.

Just doing the questions a little bit more, being a little bit more prepared with the questions you get asked, doing the random word exercise.

So you don't care about failing anymore.

You don't care about the judgment, or at least a lot less.

What will create, Kevin, is a world that is less divisive.

Because I think that's the problem right now, is we're not willing to sit down and have conversations with people we fundamentally disagree with.

And I think that's the danger in our society right now.

So that's why for me, Master Talk has always been an encyclopedia so that people who can't afford a coach can go to that YouTube channel, can go somewhere and learn something.

Toastmasters is great too, but the key is really we should all be working on this so that we can create a better world for all of us to live in.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I totally love that.

And I mean, truly, if you think about it, the deeper meaning to communication, because how do things, you know, fester in trouble start, fights start between friends, wars happen between countries.

It's because there's a lack of communication.

Somebody doesn't agree with somebody, but they're unwilling to communicate and understand who they are, where they're coming from, you know, and then be able to communicate how they're feeling.

And and I feel like it kind of comes back to uh one of my last questions that I have for you is do you believe the same that me that a big part of being a good communicator is being an even better listener?

SPEAKER_00: Definitely.

I definitely believe, and I love what you shared as well, Kevin, is the idea that listening really helps us be more effective at communication.

But let's push it a little bit further.

Because I know a lot of us talk about listening, but we don't really give people tips on how to get better.

So I'll give you an easy one that people can implement.

I call this questions versus statements.

So every day when we think about our conversations with people in general, I want us to think about what percentage of what we communicate is a statement, like I believe this, I think this, we should do this, this is what's happening, versus a question to somebody else.

And what you'll often find, Kevin, is most conversations generally sound like this statement, statement, statement, statement.

It's a ping-ponging of I believe this, I believe, will I believe this, will I believe this, versus what I think the best communicators on the planet do is that they respond more often than not with questions to statements.

So if somebody goes, I believe this, the other person generally responds with, Why do you believe this?

Why is that important to you?

What is it about your point of view that you find fascinating about it?

What's a piece of feedback that you have for me?

Like those questions are what drive better listening because it forces you to spend more time listening in a conversation versus speaking in it.

So what's the conclusion?

The conclusion to this, or rather, the takeaway, is ask yourself how many questions are you asking other people every day?

And if you're really honest with yourself, except for you, Kevin, because you're a podcast host, you've already asked a ton of questions.

I'm the one who needs a little bit of work here, because I'm the one yapping and answering them instead of asking you questions.

But you know, I get the intention.

I have to add the value.

SPEAKER_02: You get the path.

SPEAKER_00: Right.

But the key is, uh, thanks for that.

But the key is how many questions are we asking a day, Dave?

What we'll often find is that the answer is either zero or one.

So what I would encourage people to do is let's increase that barometer.

Let's bring it up to two questions a day.

Three questions a day.

And it doesn't need to be to anyone you don't like.

Start with people that you really enjoy spending time with.

Start asking them questions so you can build a muscle in a way that makes you happy, in a way that gets you excited, and then you can build your way up to people that you've never met before.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love that.

I love that so much.

And, you know, I believe that the the thing with asking questions is being genuinely curious about that person's life or about their view, of going into conversations truly with an open mind.

And I believe for myself that that's what has been just powerful about having a podcast is to me, is it opens that channel of being open.

But at the same point, it's not just having a podcast where I'm interviewing you, because I've been a guest on other podcasts, and I think the people ask terrible questions because to me, I don't feel as though they're genuinely curious.

And so I would encourage people when you're asking these questions, do it out of a pure curiosity.

Think back to as a child, be curious, show interest instead of we so many times we immediately put up our guard, you know, and and uh we we almost just are like looking to to pick a fight rather than have a conversation.

SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, can't and let me play off that a little bit because I love what you shared there.

One easy way that people can do this is in a way that that's exciting for people so they don't go, oh my god, like I gotta be curious about people.

Like it's a big thorn.

SPEAKER_01: Oh no.

SPEAKER_00: I would say uh I would say quite simply, make a list, and that's why I'm glad you brought it up because it reminded me of this tip.

Make a list of the three to five questions that you wish people asked you more, that you wish other people asked you, and take that list of questions and just ask that to other people.

That's it.

Because if, let's say, for example, one of my questions that that I wish people asked me is, you know, what are you passionate about?

What are you excited about?

Instead of going like, how's you like, how are you?

Like, how's the weather?

It's like shit, man.

I don't care about the weather.

Who cares?

I'm inside most of the time, I'm working.

It's just so what's nice is like when when I go, so when I go to personal development conferences and I'm seeing Kumbaya with other people, you know, and I ask people, like, what are you passionate about?

They'll answer, but they'll often ask me back the same question.

And I'll be like, I would love to answer my own question because that's the one I want.

So so it works for everybody.

That's what I would say.

SPEAKER_02: Can I just play Mr.

Obvious, Brendan?

What are you passionate about?

SPEAKER_00: I mean, this conversation, right?

Communication, public for me, it's a bit different, Kevin, because uh because you already know what I do and all that stuff.

But but but yes, you know, definitely passionate about, you know, I'm so thankful in life, Kevin, because I get to look forward to every meeting I have during the day.

Like, yes, I get to start my day with Kevin, and then I have this and that, and and life is great.

And and just spending every day being able to share the gift of communication wherever I can, however I can serve people, is something I'm grateful for every day.

Because I know a lot of people wake up and they're not super thrilled about their day, and I'm and I try my best to try and inject them.

SPEAKER_02: It's been an absolute joy to talk to you today, Brandon.

And and I would love, I have one last statement that I would love to just kind of get your feedback on.

And that is again kind of related to my own situation of being blind.

And for myself, you know, the nonverbal communication is completely just cut off when I became blind.

And so it's people in the grocery store who, you know, are walking by and ordinarily, you know, you would look at each other, give a little nod.

Well, you know, I don't have that.

Unless somebody speaks to me, you know, I really don't know that they exist.

And so being blind, you know, that has made a big impact.

But on the opposite side of the spectrum, I look at the fact of the way in which I am blind.

So I don't see people, I don't already have this idea in my head of who they are, what their story is based on what they look like.

So it takes me actually talking to that person to discover who they actually are.

And so I almost think like that's another really good tip if if you find yourself.

Yourself struggling with communicating with people when you're sitting down, maybe just close your eyes.

Maybe tell them, you know, you're closing your eyes.

Don't I mean, maybe easier if you're, you know, on the phone or something.

I don't know.

But pretend of this fact of that you can't see the other person where you're really tuned in to seeing them simply through the words that they speak.

SPEAKER_00: Hmm.

I love that.

I completely agree.

I was doing that a little bit as you were talking just now.

As I closing, huh?

It's true.

I I definitely agree, especially in the case that you're in, a lot of the nonverbal cues kind of get thrown out of the window because you you don't notice them anymore.

Yeah.

Or you don't see them.

So I would say, to your point, I mean, I completely agree with your statement.

It's the idea that you need to start emphasizing and drawing more attention to the areas of communication that we can't detect, which is definitely the words that people are saying.

I I mean that makes you an exceptional listener for sure.

And I think that's not just for you.

I think that's also for all of us.

How can we start to pay more attention to the words that people say almost as if we were all blind?

Yes.

And when we start to work on that part of our communication, it's something I'm still working on to this day, to be honest.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: That's how we can listen more effectively to the world and ultimately allow us to really make people feel like they're the most important person in the room.

And that's that's the challenge that many of us need to work on.

And very few people have that skill.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

Well, I love it.

Well, so I've come up with the solution statement of the day.

Listen like Kevin, talk like Brendan.

SPEAKER_01: I like it.

SPEAKER_02: I love it.

Brendan, man, thank you so much.

Tell me again, and for the listeners, of course, I'll leave all information in the episode show notes, but where can everybody learn more, dive deeper into this subject matter with you?

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely, Kevin.

This conversation is great.

Thanks so much for having me, man.

So there's two key ways to keep in touch.

The first one is just go to the YouTube channel, type master talk in one word.

You'll have access to hundreds of free videos and how to communicate ideas effectively.

And the second one, for those of you who are interested in coming to a free virtual workshop, I do a Zoom call every two, three weeks and I talk about communication.

I coach people on the call.

It's absolutely free.

So if you want to join in on that, all you have to do is register at rockstarcommunicator.com.

SPEAKER_02: Fantastic.

Fantastic.

Brandon, once again, man, it has been an absolute pleasure to have you on the podcast.

So thank you for the time that we've got to spend with you today.

SPEAKER_00: Of course, man.

The pleasure is absolutely mine.

Thanks for the impact you're creating for people, man.

SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.

And for you listening to the podcast today, I hope you have enjoyed another fantastic guest here on the podcast who just blows us away with simple yet actionable items that can truly impact our life in ways that maybe we hadn't thought about before.

Because think about the level that communication plays.

It's not just giving presentations at school or work, it's communicating with your spouse, with your children, with your friends.

Communication is a key to life.

And I can only hope that the tips shared by Brendan today will help you be a little bit better at talking, listening, and of course, with the whole goal of enjoying life.

Hope to see you again next week for another episode here on The Lowdown with Kevin Lowe.

And that's the Lowdown with Kevin Lowe.

I hope today's episode inspired you, motivated you, and excited you to get out and enjoy life, no matter what obstacles may be standing in the way.