From Captivity to Empowerment: Cheryl Hunter's Framework for Overcoming Adversity

Your biggest canvas, it's the sprawling meadows.

Your dreams, they fly as high as the eye can see as you stare up at that crystal blue sky.

Cheryl Hunter, she was this girl.

She was this girl with a taste of adventure for dreaming of what was out there, who was in those planes flying overhead.

And well, she dreamed of being in that plane one day.

But then, of course, there comes a point in everyone's story when those untamed dreams that we have as a child, they meet the dark realities of life.

They intertwine with the shadows that we never even knew existed back when we were just an innocent child, staring up at the sky, dreaming of what the future may look like.

You are about to be taken on a journey from the depths of despair to the heights of healing and empowerment.

I ask you to join me as today's guest, Cheryl Hunter, shares her story.

And it's one of resilience.

It's one of the human spirits thrive to survive, both mentally and physically.

This is a story about finding light in the darkest of places.

And it's about emerging, not just unbroken, but unbound.

My friend, I welcome you to episode 278.

What's up, my friend, and welcome to Grit Grace and Inspiration.

I'm your host, Kevin Lowe.

Twenty years ago, I awoke from a life-saving surgery only to find that I was left completely blind.

And since that day, I've learned a lot about life, a lot about living, and a lot about myself.

And here on this podcast, I want to share those insights with you.

Because, friend, if you are still searching for your purpose, still trying to understand why, or still left searching for that next right path to take, well, consider this to be your stepping stone to get you from where you are to where you want to be.

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SPEAKER_01: I grew up on a horse rant in the remote Rockies of Colorado.

And it was, oh, Kevin, it was it was heaven as a child.

I mean, I just I spent my childhood atop a horse.

I would literally do homework after school sitting on top of my horse.

I would face backward, make his big rump my desk, and just sit up there for hours.

And it was so much fun.

He he I would go out in the meadow, he'd graze.

No matter what time of year, there's always a little bit of alfalfa generally, or I'd throw a pile down for him or some grain or something.

He'd be content to just hang out there and the it just to hang out there in the meadow.

And it was wonderful until I got older and I became a young teenager, and I thought, good grief, I want to go to the places I've read about and seen in movies or heard about.

I I just I would love to meet people that I'm not related to by blood.

That would be the big dream.

Some place where perhaps they wore anything other than roper boots and bootcut wranglers.

unknown: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: Weren't always covered in dung, you know.

I thought, golly, the big city where people dress much more nicely than they do here on the ranch, any place like that.

We were truly in the flyover zone, and as I used to lie on my back in the meadows or sitting atop my horse, I would look up at the planes flying by and think, man, I want to be the girl in the plane looking down at the girl lying here on the ground.

If I were, though, in order to be the girl on the plane, you know, the one going somewhere, the one going places, I'd have to have something I could do for people.

And all I know how to do really is ride horses and train horses, and I'm definitely not the best at that.

There's people that I learn from, so that's out.

I got to figure something that I could do that I could give people.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: And that's kind of where it started.

It's just like, well, I'll figure that out if I can just get out into the big city.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

Oh my goodness.

Such the, such the typical, I believe, kind of situation for so many of us as kids.

Like, like you feel like you're stuck in that same little small town and you just want to experience the world, yet you're just a kid, so you can't, and you dream of the day that you can't.

SPEAKER_01: Right.Anywhere but here, it kind of feels like anything but this would be great.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

And absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: There, I grew up near, not in, but near Rye, Colorado, it was called.

And I mean, teeny tiny, you know, uh one street corner.

And it was 20 minutes from where we lived, out in the middle of nowhere.

But I I used to look at maps and go, oh, there's a there's a rye in New York and a rye in England.

Boy, somewhere, there's civilization with the same name.

It's just funny how we long for something else other than what we've got, right?

SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.

Now, did you guys ever do any vacations growing up?

SPEAKER_01: We did, and I got to see enough of the world that I thought, oh, this is I I am definitely going, I am built for a big city.

And it's funny now, anecdotally, I'm like, oh, can I just get back to where it's quiet?

But at the time, it was just like it's all happening somewhere without me.

It's definitely not all happening here, but somewhere there's there's civilization in life, and I've just got to figure out how to get there.

And one day I played hooky, hopped on my mini bike, and rode to the nearest town that had a store of any kind.

And I picked up a glamour magazine because I thought, you know, I'm a teenage girl, and it was like, I thought, they're bound to have some life advice in there and career advice for my lifetime moving forward.

It was the best idea I had as a young teen girl.

And they talked about models and that the fact that they always need them.

And I thought, wow, there's no way my parents could argue with the fact that there's no need for models anywhere near Rye, Colorado.

So that's gonna be the thing I'm gonna go for.

I was already on the boys' basketball team.

I was tall enough.

I figured this is gonna be the thing that's gonna get me to the big city.

Crazily enough, my parents, who were in the midst of divorcing, just somehow said okay to the Kakamami scheme.

I my best friend, we worked several jobs, uh, got enough, saved enough money to go to Europe, where I figured that's where they must need models, I guess.

That's where fashion comes from, right?

And no sooner did we get to France than a man with this big fancy camera around his neck.

It was the day before days before cell phone photos, right?

But he walked up and said, Hey, are you a model?

I can make you one.

Just come with me and my friend over there, this really big, tall man.

Now, I thought, God, that's probably not the smartest idea, but hey, I'm a ranch-raised, strong, smart, savvy girl.

I know how to wrestle a steer and drive a tractor.

I'll figure it out.

Turns out that my figure-it-outness, my strength and savvy that I was so certain I had, which had never been tested, were no match for these criminals.

Drugged me, took me to what was probably an abandoned construction site.

It was undone and just raw cement and sheets of plastic hanging everywhere.

And you can fill in the gory details with your mind.

They held me captive, they brutalized me, they tortured me, all of this.

And then eventually, for Lord only knows what reason, they decided to let me go.

And they just dumped me out of the car, pushed me out of the car on this little grassy piece of land, and I laid there pretending to be dead until they drove away.

And the whole time that I was there and captive by them, I thought, I only need to get free.

That is my one and only one objective.

I must get free.

And I was lying there, bargaining with God.

If you let me go, I will be a better person.

I won't talk back to my parents when my grandma tries to hold my hand, as she would often do at the mall or someplace in public.

And I was mortified as a teenager, but I I will hold her hand back.

I won't boss my brother and sister around.

I'll be nice to them.

And I bargained, I just kept bargaining with God, please let me be free.

And there I was, Kevin, free.

And that's when the real captivity began.

I couldn't get the thoughts out of my mind of what had happened, of what I'd endured, of the plans and strategies to get back at these men, somehow make them pay for what they had done.

I just, I would walk by every person just randomly on the street and think that they were bad and out to get me.

I mean, it was I was captive in a whole new way between my ears.

And I finally had a very serious conversation with myself and said, I cannot continue like this.

Life was hell, not like the kind of hell they talked about at my grandma's very doom and gloom church, where it was, you know, it was it was fire and brimstone in the extreme.

And I thought, you know, that the hell isn't that.

Hell is right now on earth.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

Wow.

So did they use probably something like the date, right?

Drug like that you were knocked out?

SPEAKER_01: I I don't know what it was.

They asked me if I wanted wine.

I thought foolishly that we were going when I went to meet them, that we were going to shoot photos.

They said, have some wine, loosen up.

And I said, No, no, I want to be my best for the photos.

Oh, don't be such an American.

Oh, so I had wine, Sauvignon Blanc.

I mean, I was so in uh so naive.

I just, I thought, oh God, that's so fancy.

You know, and the next thing I know, I'm like a dog sitting in the front seat of a car with my head halfway out the window, my tongue is out, and I'm drooling.

And I'm like, uh-oh, this this isn't good.

But every time I had a lucid moment, I would ask, When are we gonna shoot the photos?

Thinking that they were actually going to make me a model.

When are we gonna shoot the photos?

And then ironically, you know, when he finally did push me out onto the ground, he says, Darling, like I'm his girlfriend or some damn thing.

And I look back over my shoulder and he starts shooting the photos of me lying there on the ground, just bloody and he cut my hair off.

I mean, like what a sadistic, horrible person.

Wow.

There I am, captive, right, in my head.

And I thought, okay, I I am not the first person to go through something bad, something unplanned, something that I didn't choose.

There have been people who've gone through way worse.

Where do I find these people?

How how do I learn from them?

I didn't want to read a book that seemed too passive for what I needed.

The voices in my head, so to speak, that internal dialogue seemed too loud.

I wanted something, an active way to free myself and figure out how to overcome.

I started volunteering at old age homes, prompted by my mother, when I'd said, I feel so depressed.

Now, I never told her why.

I never told anybody what had happened.

I just didn't.

I didn't, I thought they'd make me go back to the ranch.

And I thought, oh my God, I I will literally die if I have to go back there and be sequestered and apart from people and just left in my own head and thoughts.

I can't do it.

And I said to my mom, I'm depressed.

And she said, Well, I don't know what you're dealing with, but there's this saying that if we're struggling, there's always somebody who's got it worse, find those people, help those people.

And I thought, well, God, the way we seem to discard elderly people in this country, I feel like I'm I've got no future and I'm messed up in the head.

They feel like they've got no future and they're messed up at the head in the head.

At least people listen to young people sometimes.

They don't listen to old people.

And so I went and started volunteering at elder care facilities.

And just at first, all I did was just sit and listen, and boy, they wanted to talk, and it was fantastic.

It was a true win-win, Kevin.

They got to talk, and I didn't have to listen to the angry chatter in my head.

And eventually I thought, wow, these people have been through a lot.

War vets, Holocaust survivors, people who'd been through unthinkable tragedy.

And some of them had overcome and lived happy, productive, fruitful lives, and others understandably were bitter and hardened.

And I made it my job to figure out why.

And I l used what they had given me.

I I turned it into a framework and I used it, and it really was helpful.

And I wanted to give it away to other people so that they could overcome adversity.

SPEAKER_00: Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

I have two quick questions.

How long did they hold you captive for?

SPEAKER_01: It was a few days.

SPEAKER_00: When they let you go, did you jump right back on a plane and fly home?

SPEAKER_01: I did not.

I first went to find my friend, who was understandably infuriated and started to shout.

Now, the ringleader had followed me.

So I ran as fast as I could.

And I went to the the hostel where we were staying.

She started shouting.

I held my hand over her mouth and said, Don't make a sound.

Grab everything you can and let's go.

And we went to the train station and got on the first train.

It didn't matter where it was going.

We just got on a train.

It happened to be going to Italy, but it didn't matter.

We just had to get out of there.

I left half of my stuff.

Now I was a teenager, so I had overpacked dramatically, but I left half of my stuff.

That was that we we got on a train.

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Yeah.

Wow.

The last thing that like I just wanted to say that I I couldn't help but but see this this cruel irony in the fact that as a child you you sat watching the airplanes and you wanted to escape.

You you wanted out of there.

You felt captive in a sense.

And then you finally got the opportunity and you were immediately held captive again, just in a new way.

And I can't help but think, wow, what cruel irony that is.

SPEAKER_01: I mean, I like to look at the universality of these things.

It's not, I'm not the first person to ever have experienced, quote, captivity, right?

We get captive to a dream, a relationship that's not working out well, a job that similarly is not going well.

I mean, in a in a positive spin, we we can't, like I'd said, a dream.

We could be captive to, I can't think about anything else than my dream, whether it's an individual dream for myself, for my children, my family, what have you.

That's a common phenomenon, I think, which is why it recurred.

Yes, in France, and I'm not pretending that everybody's kidnapped, but then once I was free, there was another kind of captivity, the captivity of the thoughts occurring in my own head.

And then I declared, once I'd come up with this educational framework to overcome adversity, it really worked on me.

And then I started giving it away to other survivors, survivors of violent crime, sexual assault, trafficking.

I started there.

And it really worked in an extraordinarily powerful way with them as well.

And I thought, man, this is my purpose to help people overcome adversity, because every time I do it, it makes it worth it, what I went through.

Every time I liberate somebody else.

And so, in a way, Kevin, I then became captive to a dream.

I mean, it's a conscious declaration, so to speak, of captivity.

And I've I'm turning the phrase in some way and repurposing captivity rather than as a negative, as a as a positive.

Like, look, if captivity is a recurring phenomenon, I may as well use it to my advantage and declare I'm going to be held by this this dream, this vision, this commitment, this this purpose and held captive to it rather than held captive to the constraints of the past.

SPEAKER_00: Yes.

No, I the it makes makes total sense.

When you started coming up with this framework, and you talked about starting to talk with people and helping people, were you sharing your own story of what happened of how you came up with this framework or no?

SPEAKER_01: Not at all.

Now, I there were several things I did to overcome the impact of the trauma of the kidnapping.

One was I started volunteering at old age homes and then ultimately took what I learned, codified it, and made it into an educational framework to overcome adversity.

One of the other things that I was doing was I started taking personal development seminars and programs.

And ultimately, once I had taken everything there was that I could find available, I became Trained to lead these programs.

And ultimately, just because I wanted more, I felt so much better when I was in that conversation and there.

And ultimately, I led programs for hundreds of thousands of people.

And then simultaneously, one of the things I did initially that felt liberating to me was I started putting my thoughts on paper and then started writing stories and creating all kinds of stories and ideas for shows and plays and TV shows and movies.

And by the grace of God, I sold them my original television shows and theater plays.

I had them developed by HBO and NBC and Fox and ended up selling several things, some on my own, some with a partner.

And so my day job was writing TV.

And I'd never told anybody that I'd gone through this kidnapping.

I just had this thing that I did on the side where I helped people overcome trauma and I would lead these seminars just as a volunteer.

I didn't want it to be my full-time job.

That was writing.

But all these things that I was doing kind of coalesced in a way.

And I thought, okay, working in major media, I can see the power that major media has to alter and shape the collective conversations that we're having.

You know, like Kevin, water cooler moments where everyone's talking about the same thing.

And I was leading these personal development programs and seeing, God, the power of transformation is remarkable.

We really can't overcome anything.

And then the own my own education that I created, I was seeing it happen in these survivors of violent, horrible crime.

And I thought, man, if I could get my education out through major media somehow and let the world know that it's possible to overcome any adversity and in fact be better for it, man, that would that would change the world.

SPEAKER_00: Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

When did you finally open up and share your story?

SPEAKER_01: I was leading these personal development seminars and finally did it there.

But simultaneously, I was now on this mission of I'm going to get my message and this work about overcoming adversity out to the world.

And I was connected because I worked in TV, but I was struggling for years.

I couldn't get myself on media.

And it didn't make any darn sense.

I had something really valuable to offer and I was connected.

I how hard could it be, right?

Now, in cut two, it took me over a decade to finally do that.

But as I was leading one of these seminars one night, we were doing an exercise on forgiveness.

And I came out up front and said, we can forgive anything.

And a few people grumbled, and one woman really started waving her hand and said, No, we can't forgive anything.

There was a microphone at the front of the room, and she ran up there and spoke her story about the atrocities that she and her family had faced.

And the room was starting to turn.

Now I'd been with these people on and off for years.

And for the first time, I was about to lose the room.

This man stood up, threw his notebooks down, and said, This is BS, and he stormed out of the room.

And I thought, not only am I going to lose the room, but they're going to miss this massively valuable insight about forgiveness, that it's not about setting them free per se.

It's about setting yourself free.

And it doesn't mean that you condone what they did or agree with it or say, hey, do it again.

It's just that you choose peace over resentment.

It's an entirely different state than, oh, hey, yeah, I'll tolerate what you did.

It's not that.

And I wanted them to understand that.

And I had this conversation with myself and said, what are you doing holding this in?

You are no longer a child.

You are no longer a scared teenager running for your life.

And I just blurted it out and shared for the first time with any human being.

SPEAKER_00: Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Talking about forgiveness, did you come to a point either before this or after this that you were able to forgive those who did that to you?

SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.

I had I had done it beforehand, which is why I knew the potency and power, the grace of forgiveness.

To me, it just felt like I don't mean this to be blasphemous in any way.

I mean it to be devotional.

But it was the closest I could be to being Christ-like was to forgive them.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: For that which they had done.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

I can understand exactly what you mean.

The fact of my own, my own life, my own story.

SPEAKER_03: Yes.

SPEAKER_00: There was a person who I swore I would never forgive what he did to my family.

I swore I would never do it.

And everybody kept telling me that I had to forgive him.

And I said, no, no, I won't.

And one day, it was middle of the afternoon.

I'm in the kitchen cutting up a grapefruit.

And my faith is a big part of me and my journey.

And all of a sudden, while cutting up that grapefruit, I forgave that person.

And I spoke it out loud and I began just crying.

Because it wasn't just me talking, it was God, the Holy Spirit talking through me.

And I'll tell you what, there's nothing that can set you free more than being able to forgive.

SPEAKER_01: Amen to that.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: Oh, Kevin, that's so beautiful.

Thank you for sharing that.

SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely.

So my question is you're at this point, and I and I would love to back up a little bit and understand how you go from this small little town in Colorado to all of a sudden having stories picked up for movies, for for now, but these you get into the personal development scene, you're leaving these rooms.

Like, how did that even happen?

SPEAKER_01: Well, I never went back to the horse ranch.

I just I was like, you know what, dad gummit, all this happened with my dream of being in the big city and the idiotic idea I had to be a model.

Now I didn't care about being a model for being a model's sake.

I mean, you're just basically a human mannequin.

You know, I but I said, I'm gonna do that because that will let me live in the big city and stay here.

And so I actually became a model and I was very successful at it.

I was the worldwide Coca-Cola girl for Bates' sakes.

I mean, it was like, like, who cares in one regard?

But it was, it felt like a victory in the face of what had happened in France.

It felt like a true triumph to me.

And all along I had been doing the, you know, writing and and and creating these stories.

I hadn't started doing live plays or anything for a few years, but I was volunteering with the elderly people and and living all over the world and modeling.

And eventually I settled in Los Angeles and in one of the beach communities.

And that's where it all kind of came together.

That's when I started really leading these personal development programs and staging plays and getting them developed by the different networks and just have the grace that I did.

And that's when I started, I thought, well, heck, I, you know, I live in Hollywood, not literally Hollywood, but Los Angeles.

I I've got to be able to get this message out and help people with this, help people overcome.

I could see people were struggling in life.

And I wanted to, I knew I could help.

I overcame, they could overcome.

I knew it was possible.

And it was like it kept me up at night.

Kevin, you ever have that kind of a dream where you just can't eat or sleep or think or do anything about it?

It's like that is, I must do this.

I must get this message out to the world.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

Wow, wow, wow.

You spoke earlier about a framework.

Can you talk to us about what that framework is?

SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.

And I do want to say I no longer teach it because I I created a new quote, captivity, a new mission for myself.

I I've never used the word captivity.

We kind of misused it, turned the phrase in that way.

But yes, the things that I that I learned, here's a few of the most impactful things.

There is a gift at the heart of any challenge or adversity that we face.

And I'm massively oversimplifying, by the way.

Yeah.

It can only release itself to us when we look directly at the circumstance that we're facing or have faced and say yes to it.

When we fight it, when we say, but this should never have been, I it wasn't fair.

Why me?

Whatever that is, it will never reveal its gift to us.

It will be the proverbial thorn in our side and it will take us down.

But the moment we can say yes, okay, and in my case, okay, Lord, you know better than I.

Okay, okay, oh, yes, I say yes to this.

There became this holiness to it.

I I don't know how else to say it than that.

But and it's not just anecdotally that I experienced it this way, but what I kept hearing from people as I kept interviewing the survivors of adversity was that in leaning into what had happened, in not just tolerating it and not just even accepting it, but embracing it.

Yes, yes, this is here, and I embrace it, it then will unlock its gifts.

And it's only in the firm yes, not lip service to it, but authentically standing there, that it can bestow its magic upon us.

And another piece, I'll give you these two pieces.

When I stood in front of that seminar that day and shared my story, I realized I was unlocking the final step in the process of overcoming challenge or adversity.

So often, when we've experienced something like that, a circumstance that we would never have chosen for ourselves, we hide it, we keep it secret.

We never tell a soul.

We somehow believe, perhaps, that we are sullied or ruined.

Or I also hear a lot and experience for myself that I was somehow culpable in what happened.

But regardless of the reason, oftentimes we hold it just to ourselves.

And being able to speak on a transparent, candid, raw way, no holds barred, with another person is the final step in liberating ourselves from that kind of captivity to the adversity and the impact of the adversity.

Now, for some people, sharing that story with a mental health professional or spouse or partner or loved one is wonderful.

Maybe with a support group, but there are others who want to share that on a larger way.

Now, I'm not talking about trauma sharing, talking about something very distinct.

I'm talking about owning our experience and being able to speak unabashedly about it.

Some people choose to share that with the world.

That was the case for me.

I wanted to make a positive difference with it.

I felt like it would liberate me as I liberated others.

And finally, after more than a decade of trying, I was blessed to have done just that, gotten my message out in front of an audience of hundreds of millions on major media.

And at that point, my mission changed again.

I realized, you know what, there's an entire industry dedicated to helping people overcome adversity.

I'm going to step back and leave that work to mental health professionals, psychotherapists, psychologists, et cetera.

They have got this.

There are mission-driven people, just like I was, who have no idea how to share their work with the world.

And that is my mission to help these people get their voice out and make a profound difference so they can serve at the highest level.

That's why I went through this whole experience.

And it really, I feel, brought it full circle, Kevin, where as I was lying on the ground there in the horse meadows, just looking up at the plains, thinking, man, I want to be the girl there with something to give people.

Somehow this crazy, miraculous, beautiful even turn of events as as dark and as light as it has been, made me the person that has something to give.

SPEAKER_00: Wow.

When you share your story, when you come on podcasts, when you're on TV interviews, what is it that you hope the person who's listening to you, what do you hope that they come away with?

SPEAKER_01: A few things.

I hope that you recognize your magnificence no matter what you've faced.

I hope that you recognize that you are bigger than anything you face, and that the adversity you faced, the challenges that you've gone through in your life, there is a gift that they hold.

SPEAKER_00: So powerful.

So powerful.

I have one last question for you.

But before I ask that question, I would love to have you go ahead and share.

For the person who is like, man, this woman is got it going on.

I love her vibe.

I'm empowered by her story, and they want to know more.

Where can we send them to get plugged into your world?

SPEAKER_01: My website is CherylHunter.com and it's C-H-E-R-Y-L.

Most of my social is Hunter Cheryl.

I came late to the party, I guess.

I had to get my real name, Dad Gummit.

Oh boy.

But that's where.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

Perfect.

Well, I will be sure that that links to all of that is left in the show notes for anybody who is interested in getting, like I said, plugged into your world, learning more about you, following you, social media, all the things.

My last question is going to bring us kind of full circle back to where we began.

And through all that you've been through and where you sit today, what would you say to that girl lying in the grass, looking up and watching the planes fly over?

What do you wish you could have said to her?

SPEAKER_01: Wow.

What a question, Kevin.

Trust.

Trust.

It's all gonna be all right.

More than all right.

Trust.

SPEAKER_00: Trust.

Such a powerful word, such a powerful meaning.

Cheryl, you're an amazing woman with an incredible story.

That honest to goodness, it's an honor to have you on the podcast to share it with me, with my audience.

Thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_01: The honor is mine.

Thank you, Kevin.

SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.

For you, my listener, I hope as always that today's interview with Cheryl that didn't just give you something to listen to, but it made you think about stuff.

And maybe you're thinking to yourself that, wow, I bet my sister, my friend, whoever would really love to hear this too, or that they need to hear it.

Please share today's episode with them.

And with that, I send you out into the world to take on the day, to enjoy the day, to love life, because goodness gracious, it will go by the flat.

My name is Kevin Lowe.

This is Great Grace and Inspirate.